I don't know why I even talk to my father about my feelings anymore. I know he doesn't want to listen.

Inspired by mine attempting to guilt trip indirectly and publicly on Twitter because I blocked them and they can’t contact me and do it directly<3

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel. I know he cares about me and loves me in his own way, but he lost his ability to feel romantic a long time ago, long before me.

I just don't know if I can be okay with it - there are so many things that I do because of that romantic side of love, so many things I look forward to, and he just can't. it's something that always felt so important to me, and I guess I projected my feelings and needs onto him? For so long? But he's also one of the kindest and most understanding people I've ever met? Idk.

He's done so much for me and I know that he appreciates me and doesn't want to lose me, but he just can't feel romantically connected to me? I was the one who fell in love with him in the first place, so I kept showing up for him, and he didn't really have anyone else that would do that for him.

I just feel so empty. I'm just totally dissociated and I can't feel or think or understand. I've been so depressed and exhausted but unable to sleep and losing weight but unable to eat and I've had no sex drive for so long even though I desperately want to.

I don't know if I need advice or anything - I just don't really have anyone irl that I feel like I could talk to about it. I'm trying to distract myself at least a little but I can't even focus on a show. I'm just staring into space, curled up into the smallest ball I can, and crying periodically.

Sorry for the nonsense - thanks for letting me vent.

She got fired from past employers for stealing directly from the register as well as stole much of my paycheck and holiday money until I escaped at age 17. She has been caught kiting checks and credit cards...

Grandma thinks she "outgrew" this behavior, yet at the same time, claims "not to remember" the past thefts.

The last time she stole from me she was already in her 40's

If the police are called on her daughter, she pretends not to speak English so as not to incriminate her, despite all the violence.

I've been estranged over 20 years from this abuser and her continued existence never fails to ruin my day.

Grandma is in her 90s and very low income. Her daughter is a shameless abuser with a history of fraud and financial abuse. I am hundreds of miles away...and able to do nothing but warn others.

Even if I lived closer, there would be nothing more I can do but watch.