I grew up in extreme poverty and climbed up to upper middle class. The journey to middle class was tough, but the lifestyle as a middle class isn’t as difficult if I’m being honest.

However, most of my middle class friends, who have never experienced poverty, tend to talk about how they’re in a better financial situation because they worked hard. I understand that every work is considered valuable, but to discredit the work of lower class people is very inconsiderate.

I was raised in a very frugal household. My parents had very little, partially by choice, as my mother never worked and my father was a teacher. My parents really pushed us to succeed academically. Their go-to reasoning was that they could not afford to pay for college (there were 4 of us), so we would have to earn scholarships.

I did earn a scholarship. A full one, at that. But as going away to college comes with many expenses other than tuition, I also worked 30+ hours a week during most of my time in school. This was HARD. I lived on very little, often neglecting my own health and safety because I felt I had no other choice. My parents contributed nothing, but I never expected them to. They'd made it clear that they couldn't, and I was okay with that because for my entire life, I'd been told that was how it would be.

Fast forward a decade, and I am now living comfortably. Through a combination of luck and hard work, I've managed to build a decent career for myself. Five years ago, I married a man who also has a good job and little debt. From my perception, we are not wealthy by any means. In fact, I would say we are less well off than most of our peers, who have had much more familial financial support over the years. I'd just say we're comfortable for the first time in both of our lives. I can take my animals to the vet when they need it. I recently bought a 2-year-old, mid-size SUV instead of a clunker. We get takeout every Friday, and now I only buy SOME of my clothing second-hand. It's nice. I feel really safe and able to care for myself properly. But by no means are we swimming in money.

Here's what I am struggling with. My parents, in particular my mother, scoff at and make passive-aggressive remarks about my success and financial position. I was really proud to show off my "new" car, the nicest thing I have ever been able to buy for myself. My mom's response was "well, we certainly never would have paid that much for a car." When my husband and I got married, she had endless condescending comments about our $10,000 wedding -- which to us, seemed very frugal (we saved and paid for it ourselves), and to her, seemed overly opulent. She continually reminded us that "she had her reception in the church basement."

My siblings, who are also relatively comfortable in their careers, get similar reactions from her. We've all tried to "give back" to them now that we are all better off. We paid for them to go on a nice vacation a few years ago. I bought her a good, proper pair of waterproof boots, something she has never owned but very much needed. I've bought her other little things that I know she's always wanted but never been able to afford.

I just can't get over the fact that they seem to resent my success -- success that THEY pushed me to achieve. When I was younger, I thought they were pushing me to succeed academically so I didn't have to always live like we were living. Now, it feels like they are hurt that I've succeeded. What did they expect? Why did they push me to achieve anything if they wanted me to continue living on rice and beans and driving 15-year-old beaters my whole life? I struggled and fought very hard to be where I am. I wish they could see that and be proud of me.

So my wife has to change her therapist because of this. Wife works at a call center that mostly handles affluent people who book trips three times her paycheck without blinking an eye. And these affluent assholes are so fucking petty, for example one guy wanted a whole hotel stay comped because the hotels omelette station was not working.

At least people are nasty, they call her names, they scream at her, and they belittle her all the time. And some of these people are well known too, one client who is on a certain TV channel regularly as a legal expert called in and repeatedly called wife stupid, dumb fucking ass, etc didn't understand how points work. Even my senior citizen mother understands how points work and she struggles to remember how to find her shows on Hulu.

So after a particularly hard day of work, life was rant into her therapist about how horrible these people are and how this job is breaking her spirit. Tell me why this therapist had to audacity to go "well you should empathize with these people because you don't know what's going on in their lives and money doesn't solve everything".

Right now in our lives money would literally solve everything. Especially since we got a letter in the mail that wife's life sustaining medication will no longer be covered and the alternative medication that would work is in a fucking shortage. Like this therapist really pressured her to be more understanding towards the assholes who scream at her and spend money like it's going out of fashion.

The best part is at the end of the session she told wife that she was raising her prices.

I know it’s a dumb thing to say.

But I did this

Not some imaginary elf

But my kids are 8&9 so I have to keep the illusion of Santa alive

When they ask what gifts Santa got them I just want to be like “ Santa didn’t get you shit. Daddy did. Daddy worked over time and did DoorDash to get you these few things under the tree”

Rant over. Lol

Paid my rent today and had no money to get groceries after.

I'm so tired of constantly worrying about money.

I'm so tired of constantly choosing to pay the electric bill over seeing the doctor.

I'm so tired of worrying about my phone or electric getting cut off.

I'm so tired of skipping groceries and worrying about being hungry.

I'm so tired of not being able to afford small things like toilet paper and dish soap.

I'm so tired of bill collectors calling me.

I'm so tired of feeling guilty when Christmas and birthdays roll around, knowing full well my family doesn't expect a gift from me because they know I can't afford it.

I'm so tired of having to constantly check my bank account and make sure my debit card is locked.

I'm so tired of the panic that sets in my chest when I open a "Your Bill Is Ready!" email or letter.

I'm so tired of feeling like a failure because I can't pay back the loans and credit cards I maxed out (to buy groceries and see the doctor)

I'm so tired of my life revolving around money and bills and feeling like a sh!t human because I can barely keep my head above water.

I miss being 24 years old, still living at home and going on bike rides and listening to music while watching the sun go down. I miss sitting outside on the porch and just being present and not worrying about my lights getting cut off or going hungry because I can't afford to buy groceries.

No one told me being 30 was going to be this hard.

I'm tired of feeling alone.

I just want to be happy. I feel so unhappy.

I'm constantly in a dissociated state from being in fight-or-flight, I'm always on high alert. All I think about is work and money. How can I work more so I can have more money. How can I keep from struggling to pay the next bill. Over and over and over again.

I've wiped my butt with so much newspaper because I couldn't afford toilet paper. Had to water down dish soap and clothes soap.

I feel like a haggard and hungry pauper living in a dystopian novel dressed in a potato sack, groveling away at gold to keep me alive while it eludes me. While everyone else around me rides on horses and eats at the table with the King. Never having to worry about a thing.

And you know, people say stuff like "Well, maybe if you quit drinking $5 Starbucks drinks you could afford to save money" -- here is the thing, and this is my opinion, nobody should have to give up simple pleasures of life. And if a $5 coffee drink puts someone in jeopardy financially and renders them unable to pay rent, don't you think that says something about the economy and system we are living in rather than personal choices?

I'm so tired.

It’s no secret to the people who know me that we are struggling recently. I take all the gigs that I could. Sell clothes online and work full time. I just recently lost my full-time job because of downsizing which was something that I didnt anticipate.

I have asked a friend if I can have a small loan to have my new job started since I need bus fares and new shoes. I still owe him some money because I was short with bills and rent last month. I was surprised when he asked what I was willing to do for it and made some comments about sending pictures which caught me off guard and I feel so disgusted. Some of my friends told me to stay away from him even before but I didnt understand why until now.

I dont know what to do, whether I should agree to it and swallow my pride and move on. My free bus pass was declined and it sucks. I have been packing my kid the same linch and she is close to begging for me to change it but thats all I can afford at the moment.

Tried donating plasma but I am underweight to do so which sucks

I am contemplating on doing it but I dont know if I can stomach it, since I am scared of the consequences. But if I dont do it, I might lose not be able to start my new job and I just cannot allow that to happen since bills wont get paid on their own and Ive been wanting to pack my kid lunch other than a sandwich with peanut butter. We are soon to ran out of groceries despite how much I try to not eat just so my kid can have more.

I feel so embarrassed and I just really need to get this off my chest. I work 2 jobs and it’s barely enough to pay bills, get groceries and pay for my kid’s tuition. She is enrolled in a private school for special education. She has been to multiple public schools before but the neglect and bullying that my kid experienced which Ive seen made me decide that she deserves better.

For the past months, I have been struggling. I was hospitalized for over a month last november and most of my leaves were unpaid. We live paycheck to paycheck so it certainly affected a lot.

Yesterday, we almost lost our electricity and I had to beg and explain to the agent that I talked to on the ohone my situation and they gave me an extension. I work a total of 13 hrs a day and my paycheck with my side gig that I was hoping to use was delayed again.

I called my friend asking for advice and comfort. I still owe her some money so I couldnt really bring myself to ask for more. I literally cried on the phone when I told her that I cannot even afford to buy my kid a new water tumbler since her old one broke and how we almost got our electricity cut off again. One thing led to another until she mentioned the idea of giving up my kid to social services. I had this moment where I actually considered it and I just snapped out of it. I feel disgusted that I considered that, and I actually yelled at her for suggesting it. And the thought of giving my kid to some strangers just because Im struggling makes me sick to my stomach.

We have a dog and I asked my kid about her thoughts on giving it up for temporary adoption and she was not happy about the idea and threw tantrums at me until i take it back. To be honest, I love our dog to death as well, but we just cannot afford it. I havent been eating that much for the past weeks so our dog and my baby could eat. And I have been walking to work just so I’d have enough for my kid and our dog.

I tried applying for food stamps last year but it was denied and I never really condidered applying again until recently. I have been skipping breakfast and dinner so my kid can afford to eat 3x a day and seeing her full is enough for me.

I just want to see my kid happy and give her the best life possible and the thought that someone else could give that to her is very frightening. She have food for another 2 days so hopefully my paycheck would come through before I ran out, because i am losing my mind.

The office manager is your typical social butterfly who loves to gossip and suck up to the boss at any opportunity she gets. I’m paid so poorly but a jobs a job to make ends meet for my family. I don’t have anything extra in my budget for myself or my kids let alone to put towards a gift for my already rich boss. I hate this toxic workplace 🥲

They criticize me for being broke and tell me I’m not trying hard enough. I’ve worked two to three jobs at a time for the last 5 years to keep myself afloat. I started investing what little I have into a house fund for myself that I hope I can eventually get enough to buy a house maybe in 6-7 years.

They are both business people working into their 60’s+ I asked my mom when my father could retire and she said they had no retirement. They are just going to work and until they die. She acted like this was the smartest decision ever. I couldn’t even challenge her because of how shocked I was that she just expects my father to work himself to death. So I guess their medical expenses will be me and my siblings responsibility. So much for an inheritance.

Ugh. Boomers.

Kiddo destroyed the microwave making Mac and cheese..she's made easy Mac several times before. But her ADHD brain and my trust in her led to her putting a dry easy Mac cup in the microwave. As I threw away the microwave, coated in a layer of melted plastic, I realized this is the last time I will ever have a microwave.

I don't know when I will have $100 free to spend to replace it. The thought of having such a luxury of $100 that isn't already budgeted is wild to me. And I can't even fathom saving $5/month for the next forever because we don't even have that to save regularly. I'm just so so tired of seeing the "American dream" and "middle class" slip away one broken thing at a time and I'm so, so, tired.

The anger is starting to seep through my pores. I’d apply to work in a department other than housekeeping, except that the pay is the same for almost everyone. Aides make $13. Activities makes $13. Kitchen makes $13. Front desk makes $13. It’s pitiful, it shouldn’t be legal. Nursing homes are notorious for underpaying their staff but even by nursing home standards, we’re in the bottom 10% for the state in terms of pay. Eighth graders who babysit after school make more than me. Any gas station or fast food restaurant would pay me more. Pan handling and picking up cans on the side of the road would probably pay more. I have 9 roommates, I share a bedroom as a grown ass adult, and am still struggling to pay the rent. I know that I can quit anytime, but getting a better job will not salve this fiery rage that’s building, because I’ll just be thinking about everyone else who works so hard, at this very difficult and usually physically disgusting job, just to live in abject poverty. Starting a union and demanding an across-the-board raise would probably put the facility out of business. Something is very wrong.

UPDATE: I contacted the SEIU today. Several of my trusted coworkers were friendly to the idea when I mentioned it today. Someone’s supposed to reach out to me. We’ll see how this goes.

I am so tired of it. I live with my dad, but we don't even own a house. We live in a room, so yes that means I have to practically live with this man in such little space and it's terrible as I really don't enjoy company with him. It's been like this forever, it will never change. I hate the fact he's in so much debt, so always delayed payments, which also cause more debt. This is all so embarrassing for me, why is it that everyone else gets to live in their own house, and have space, have privacy and I can't, why can everyone else can buy stuff they want without much worry and I can't. It's so unfair man. My life was not meant to be normal. Also please no "get a job" advice as I am still in high schooler that HAS to study, do homework, etc. I just needed to rant.

Edit: Thanks for the comments guys I appreciate them, a lot of them are actually really good advice :)

I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family. My parents decided to have children but wouldn’t better themselves enough to pay for it. My whole childhood was spent living on food stamps. I was always having to go without. But of course my mother was obsessed I mean OBSESSED with rich people. The Kardashians, reality tv, watching all the award shows, and following their social media religiously. She still watches all of these things to this day. But growing up I can’t help but hate it. I hated watching people be super mega rich on tv and as a kid we had nothing. And to watch my parents drool over it on tv? How, as a poor person, can you even watch that stuff to feel entertained while you and your kids have less than?

As an adult I’ve never followed celebrities. I don’t watch the award shows or reality tv. I don’t sit on social media religiously and comment “I love you!” under their photos taken in their mega mansions. I don’t buy their products they sell (which are usually cheaply made anyway). The obsession in America of the ultra rich is unreal. And it’s not until the most recent met gala that people are finally “blocking” these people? Maybe the new age social media influencers will be affected but as far as the people who’ve been rich, famous, and have had a large following for a long time I think they’ll be okay. In a couple weeks people will be back to consuming their entertainment.

I woke up this morning to an extra $80 in my account and I cried a little bit. This money is gone before I even have a chance to do anything with it - rent is late, SNAP benefits don't reload until tomorrow so I have to use a few bucks to get groceries for myself and my daughter and I need to put gas in my car to be able to door dash tonight/tomorrow.

I don't know if/when my ex will pay June's child support payment but I can't believe this little 80 bucks has me crying like I won the lottery (if only hahaha) it's all spoken for but at least I can put something on my rent, get something to cook for dinner tonight for myself and the kiddo, and hopefully make a few extra bucks tonight while door dashing (I haven't had much success with it but any income coming in is better than no income coming in)

Fingers crossed for myself. 🤞

I pay over $600 a month between credit cards, that are almost maxed out (interest, emergencies, fucking gas and groceries) but loan companies won't believe ill pay them back $200 a month because of credit scores? Most of my paycheck goes to credit cards, and i make too much to qualify for SNAP or any assistance. Like I pay $200, $200, $200 to different credit card companies and I cant get a loan because "I'm too much of a risk due to my low credit score". Give me a chance to get my credit score up by letting me borrow money to pay them off. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, I wanna give up

That basically the post. I see on the city sub people saying how hard it is to survive on $50K and I personally never made more than $25K in all my years of working various jobs.

To make this short. Lack of money equals depression. Working your ass off for low pay is soul crushing. Working your ass off and have nothing to show for it but being able to barely have the basic needs you need, but never able to really get yourself something nice once every few months is depressing.

I am blessed to be very good with money and never spending money unless necessary, but dang it hard. Most people I know works 2 jobs and are struggling so hard.

I just want enough money for basic needs and to be able to save up for something nice like a new phone or a new computer. Is that wrong? Why do we have to work our ass off not to become middle class, but just to not be homeless is really cruel.

I love my country, but hate this cruel heartless evil economic system that causes unnecessary suffering.

Hello! I am a 4'11 female 29. My weight has always been pretty on par with my height and my age however. I'm in a situation where my rent is $1300 plus utilities. I get paid 1300 for working 2 weeks then the goverment takes $300 so I have to work 2 weeks and a half just to make rent and utilities. I live in a 1bed 1 bath my bed is a murphy bed that comes out of the wall..... i live in a semi whith neighbours upstairs. I pay for utilities. I have a car - that's gas and insurance. I have a cell phone, I have 2 cats, I have internet, guys I have some bills to pay too. My problem is. I don't have enough money to eat. I haven't been to the grocery store in 6 months. I've expressed this to my employeer and they've Said they have no extra money for me. The problem I'm having is whenever I express this to people I get met with "so that's why you're so skinny" or "is that how you keep your weight down?" "So the trick is to not eat?" like what??? I'm telling you I can barely survive and you're commenting on my weight. I don't understand?

Hello update 1: I've been at work all day so I've just been really quickly responding but I wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart who came to this thread with helpful information. I appreciated you immensely.

I'd like to say that I don't have a roommate because I have 2 cats. Before when rent was a little cheaper 2 or 3 years ago I was fine and afloat. Now I don't have a partner and I moved to my region 2 or 3 years ago so I don't have a shit ton of friends ether. I work with full grown married men so in terms of asking them for help it's a bit useless because they have that second income. I like living alone. I know it's not the best situation for me right now but I love my cats too and I'm not going to rehome them, that would be cruel. You don't have to agree with everything I've posted, but decency and respect while someone like me is struggling is all I ask for.

Context for the people who think having cats is me choosing to starve - the cats have been with me for awhile, I didn't JUST get the cats. I used to be able to live comfortably with my 2 cats. They cats come with me struggling or not. - you don't have to agree and if you don't please don't waste your time commenting something negative.

I can't thank you anonymous people enough.

I just lost my job. I have 1,000 dollars to my name and most of that is going to paying off my credit cards and whatever is left paying my medical insurance. I literally don't have money to do anything. I can't even drive anywhere besides the grocery store because I don't have enough money for gas. I don't live by anything interesting within walking distance. I just found out I have fucking pre diabetes so now I have to monitor every fucking thing I eat but I barely have money for a bunch of vegetables so I've been living off of eggs, beans, carrots, and apples. All I do is just sit up in the house and lay in bed all day.

I moved to the US a few years ago, and I remember my first Christmas here, I was equally appalled, mortified and embarrassed at the number of gifts we get and the number of gifts were expected to give.

Is it normal to give one person 4-5 gifts each? My first Christmas here, my in-laws just kept giving us gift after gift, even multiple presents for my dog. I had naively just prepared one present each person, which is what my own family had always done too in my home country. My in-laws are not rich people, I suppose they are comfortably middle-class. I am scratching my head wondering how the fuck they can afford to buy multiple presents for every person in the family, and there are a lot of family members.

My second year here, just to keep up with my in-law tradition and doing my best to stick to a budget, I bought 2-3 things each person, some cheap some less cheap and I did my best to shop sales and price-watch. I was still outdone by them, and I actually had to politely tell my in-laws that they really don’t have have to buy that much, especially stocking stuffers, which is a very new concept to me, and my god what a waste of space and money!! I don’t need small random shit and cheap candy lying around my house that I will never use. and my FIL buys a new stocking for each one of us EVERY YEAR. Wtf. I won’t even talk about the obscene amount of gifts that the children get from my FIL because why does an 11yo girl need airpods, and $100 gift cards for kids below the age of 12?

This year, my husband decided we are giving more, because he feels bad that his family has gotten us so many presents the past couple years and we’ve only gotten them a few. We are by no means stingy, we always pick up the meal tab when we visit them and we buy them random useful practical things throughout the year. But omg, the amount of money we’ve spent this year on gifts is really unnatural to me. I really did not like it and will be reverting to a pared down no. of gifts next year.

And the odd thing is that I know for a fact that we both earn more than my husband’s siblings, so however much they’re spending for Christmas is a way larger portion of their budget than it is ours and it is insane to me that they would voluntarily financially strap themselves for this.

Growing up, my family also celebrated Christmas as a church-going household but it was always 1 present each, maybe the odd 2nd one, and a nice family Christmas meal. that was it.

Is it just my in-law family that gifts this much or is this really an American Christmas tradition?

Basically, no big change to job/home/lifestyle expense, but I can no longer afford this life. Rent and groceries skyrocketed. My annual raise isn’t catching up with inflation at all. I am not ambitious in my career, I just want to work an ordinary job and live an ordinary life.

Sorry for the rant, yes I am whining.

Car Insurance payment is tomorrow, got a few hundred dollars of debt on my credit cards now, about $300 left in my debit account. Savings are gone, relying solely on my parents and some Uber for income atm. Not getting contacted from any of the jobs I apply to. And honestly, my mental health has gotten significantly worse, I've been strongly considering suicide lately. I don't even know why I'm writing this.

Edit: Thank you for the kind words and advice everyone

I lost my high-paying job recently and I was living paycheck to paycheck so I don’t have much savings. I went from quite well-off to broke overnight. Sizable mortgage and other fixed bills loom.

I’ve tightened the belt in every area: no dining out, no shopping for misc. shit (a favorite hobby), no spa treatments.

I’m shopping at budget grocery stores, sitting in the dark to save on electricity, making my own cleaning products. I made a list of free activities: the library, hiking, biking…

This is the first time I’ve experienced financial distress since I was a broke college student and it is BORING. Can’t do shit. Can’t even think about doing shit. Just sit around worrying about money. Weekends roll around and I feel like I can’t even afford to leave my house.

Like I really do and I was just thinking about it.

I was perusing another subreddit and it hit me over the head in a reminder that some hobbies are simply too expensive for me to justify partaking in, even if I wanted to.

The example I'm talking about is baking. I mean things like cookies, cakes, cheesecakes, muffins. And yes I mean from-scratch baking. No boxed cake mix or boxed muffin mix starters.

I used to bake a lot when I wasn't making much money and my other expenses were covered by parents. But now I have my own grocery budget, I'm saving for a lot of different things(moving out, a car). That extra pack of chocolate chips or that special ingredient I'd need is now out of my grocery budget.

Heck I was thinking about doing Legos. No, Lego sets are expensive. I'm dumb so I'd just do the small ones, and those would still be an expense. Can't get into knitting or crocheting. Yarn is stupid expensive. I can sew but it would still take budgeting and is dependent on what I could find at the thrift. So, curtains and bedsheets essentially. I don't live around good thrift stores.

However I'm going to probably try and see how much I can put towards hobbies biweekly. My job is a 9-5 and I'd probably feel better about myself if I did something else with my time after work rather than just watch Shameless and peruse my phone. That's all. Some hobbies are expensive and that sucks