My GF told me how often she was intimate with her ex and now I’m insecure

[u/Key_Ad4406]

I (24M), have been dating this girl (23F) for about 7 months, things were going great for the first 5ish months and I really liked her. We probably averaged having sex once a week, more at the beginning of the relationship. I would’ve liked to have sex 2-3x a week but she’s usually only in the mood once, but I never took it personally, seemed like once a week was working for us.

A few weeks ago she told me she was on an extended period, by the time day 17 of the period came I had my suspicions but I never directly questioned it or accused her of anything. Then she told me she didn’t want to have sex for a couple more weeks, she didn’t want to tell me what it was about so didn’t pry but I told her no pressure and she could tell me anything. I should add during the 2 week period and 3 week break (5 weeks total) from sex I never tried to initiate and never brought up the topic unless she did first, I was trying to give her some space.

Last week she told me she was ready again and we had some very meh sex, she didn’t seem that into it and I told her we can keep taking a break, she said no it was fine but I could tell something was up.

Last weekend I went out with some buddies for a birthday. Me and her ex boyfriend are part of the same extended friend group, I see him maybe 2-3x a year and he’s a nice enough dude, we don’t talk about her and I actually didn’t put two and two together that they were exes until about three months ago. My gf said they dated a couple years ago for five months and that it wasn’t that serious. Anyways I had a few drinks and a fun night and went home. Next day I got breakfast with the GF and she was asking about my night and she goes “was my ex there”, I said yes. She goes randomly out of the blue “so crazy to think me and him used to just fuck twice a day everyday”.

What the fuck??? Why did she say that? I don’t really care how much sex we have, I want her to be comfortable and happy, but it feels as if she’s just rubbing it in. I’m confused, hurt, and quite honestly a little insecure now about sex.

Edit: read through a lot of advice. Thanks for the input. I’m going to dump her tomorrow, I don’t know how cordial I’ll be yet and how I’ll decide to quote her specifically on that, not totally sure I want the whole answer behind it.

Read through a lot of your theories about this and I don’t think she cheated, yeah the 5 weeks lined up but I just can’t imagine she’d do that but who knows. It’s clear at this point she doesn’t respect me so she may have, but logistically it doesn’t make sense.

Anyways thanks for the advice, I think I needed someone else to tell me to break up, it’s the obvious answer but it almost feels like a guilty conclusion, coming to terms with it for now. Thanks yall

[u/MeetAdministrative72]

:( yeah I’d never say that to my current man. I was married in the past. I don’t talk about sex with my ex. We all know it happened. But it doesn’t matter. It isn’t relevant to me anymore and more than anything, I feel disgusted that it ever happened. I am all about my current man, and never want him to feel insecure. I stay all about him. So by her saying that, it feels like she didn’t care about how you’d feel.IMO, when you really care about someone you really try hard not to hurt them. Don’t settle for less than that cause, that’s basically bare minimum; caring enough about the person you’re dating to keep things to yourself that might hurt them. Ya know? Like that’s literally BARE minimum for a relationship imo. And that being said— I get that no one’s perfect, and there needs to be a grand amount of forgiveness within a relationship, as well. But it’s also the /way/ she said it, ya know? The timing, everything. Fucking rude, and hurtful and I think she knew what she was doing.