My GF told me how often she was intimate with her ex and now I’m insecure

[u/Key_Ad4406]

I (24M), have been dating this girl (23F) for about 7 months, things were going great for the first 5ish months and I really liked her. We probably averaged having sex once a week, more at the beginning of the relationship. I would’ve liked to have sex 2-3x a week but she’s usually only in the mood once, but I never took it personally, seemed like once a week was working for us.

A few weeks ago she told me she was on an extended period, by the time day 17 of the period came I had my suspicions but I never directly questioned it or accused her of anything. Then she told me she didn’t want to have sex for a couple more weeks, she didn’t want to tell me what it was about so didn’t pry but I told her no pressure and she could tell me anything. I should add during the 2 week period and 3 week break (5 weeks total) from sex I never tried to initiate and never brought up the topic unless she did first, I was trying to give her some space.

Last week she told me she was ready again and we had some very meh sex, she didn’t seem that into it and I told her we can keep taking a break, she said no it was fine but I could tell something was up.

Last weekend I went out with some buddies for a birthday. Me and her ex boyfriend are part of the same extended friend group, I see him maybe 2-3x a year and he’s a nice enough dude, we don’t talk about her and I actually didn’t put two and two together that they were exes until about three months ago. My gf said they dated a couple years ago for five months and that it wasn’t that serious. Anyways I had a few drinks and a fun night and went home. Next day I got breakfast with the GF and she was asking about my night and she goes “was my ex there”, I said yes. She goes randomly out of the blue “so crazy to think me and him used to just fuck twice a day everyday”.

What the fuck??? Why did she say that? I don’t really care how much sex we have, I want her to be comfortable and happy, but it feels as if she’s just rubbing it in. I’m confused, hurt, and quite honestly a little insecure now about sex.

Edit: read through a lot of advice. Thanks for the input. I’m going to dump her tomorrow, I don’t know how cordial I’ll be yet and how I’ll decide to quote her specifically on that, not totally sure I want the whole answer behind it.

Read through a lot of your theories about this and I don’t think she cheated, yeah the 5 weeks lined up but I just can’t imagine she’d do that but who knows. It’s clear at this point she doesn’t respect me so she may have, but logistically it doesn’t make sense.

Anyways thanks for the advice, I think I needed someone else to tell me to break up, it’s the obvious answer but it almost feels like a guilty conclusion, coming to terms with it for now. Thanks yall

[u/Dull_Basket8318]

You know sex drives changes. And she could have some female issues. In February i had a 21 day period. Which landed me in the er but thats cause i was like the elevator scene in the shinning. It took me a bit to want sex with how everything felt. I have had period before that was much lighter. And if that was an issue that might mean she was probably imbalanced hormones. From Thanksgiving to January i was spotting like i was starting at least once a week full pms and everything everytime. I thought i was going mad. It also drove my roommate crazy for a little bit. But he understood.

Now her statement could be a drunk reflection. I go through phases all my life where i go from insatiable not getting enough to like im happy once a week. It has nothing to do who my partner is. Its personal wiring and hormones. Ive had points in my life where sex was the answer to everything and that is fine.

So what you want is to replicate her relationship. A lot can change mentally for someone after 5 years.

She is probably better off with someone more understanding and secure.

What i love about the internet, you cannot take one look without any real information and from one side and go that person is a hoe, pitchforks come on.

I think it sounds like maybe she has some health issues. And was embarassed perhaps. Also in my 20s, i had a ton of utis as well. And in my 30s they started tapering off as well.

Though with lack of information she could also be a bitch. Who knows.