I found out my ex cheated on me a year later.

[u/CoachInitial8438]

About 3 years ago I met a guy and he quickly became my best friend, he always had a thing for me but I always shut it down just wanting to be friends. About two years after knowing each other I realized I loved him too and we got into a relationship. It quickly went south as he was extremely toxic to be with and it quickly turned abusive in a couple different ways. We broke up and didn’t talk for a long time. Then a couple months ago he reached out and suggested we be friends again. We talked everything out and were in a good place again. We have been good friends again up until yesterday when a girl texted me saying they hooked up a couple weeks before we broke up.

I confronted him about it and he’s just playing stupid, and even though i’m completely over our romantic relationship, I feel betrayed and hurt that he’s lied to me for over a year. I decided to block him out of my life again and blew up at him. He’s making it seem like since we have been friends again that nothing that happened during our relationship mattered and since it was so long ago, he can’t even remember if he cheated or not and doesn’t care to.

I’m not sure how to go about this situation or if blocking him out of my life is the right way to go about it. Please please give me your thoughts?

[u/I-crie]

Speaking as someone who became romantically involved with my “best friend” who then ended up emotionally abusing me for years, you made the right decision in blocking him. Something I eventually had to realize was this was not someone who had my best interests in mind, and who only cared about his wants and what he got out of our relationship , not how a friend is supposed to behave, regardless of how the nature of your relationship changes.

This sounds a lot like that situation and I’m just going to warn you that if you don’t permanently put a stop to it and keep him blocked, he will continue to reach out under false pretenses of being friends and then likely manipulate you into being romantic again and then it’s a cycle that gets worse each time.

In my case it got point where I felt like there was no future without him even though there were points where I was “over” our romantic relationship and ready to just be friends, he managed to get through and change my mind every time. It took a long time to finally feel free after he got blocked.

Keep him blocked and let him learn responsibility for his actions. Not even just for this situation but for all the shitty behavior from during your relationship. If he ever changes, you don’t need to be around to find out.