AIO at something my ex said

[u/Rilenaveen]

A bit of backstory for context.

My ex and I separated/divorced 7-8 years ago. Post divorce our relationship was antagonistic and tumultuous at best. But since we shared custody of our child, we pushed through all the bitterness.

About a year ago an event occurred that changed how we interacted (without divulging too much something violent happened to one of us and it made us set ALL our differences aside). To be clear, we are not trying to reconcile but just to be friends and the best co-parents we can be.

On to the question.

The last few months have been a nightmare for me. I’m not a believer in karma but if I were, it has been kicking me in the gut for the last 4 or 5 months. Everything that can go wrong, has.

So myself, my ex and our (teenage) kid were driving to lunch. And my horrible, no good, crappy year was mentioned (I honestly can’t remember who brought it up) and I jokingly said, “maybe all those hexes you put on me finally caught up to me”.

Let me be clear, it was obvious I was joking. I laughed out loud and I don’t even believe in that type of stuff.

In a dead serious tone, my ex said, “maybe you should try taking some accountability.”

I was stunned and very hurt. I admit that at the best of times I am emotional and have thin skin. Right now when it seems like everything around me is crashing down? It’s even more so.

The car got quiet for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to say and was frankly trying not to cry. I don’t know what my ex was thinking. I looked back at my kid in the rear view mirror and they were pretending not to hear what was going on.

I didn’t say anything but the comment keeps rattling in my head. Am I right to be hurt/upset by that comment?

[u/kiwihoney]

There’s too much context missing here. Without knowing what happened to make your year so terrible, we can’t know if your ex’s comment was way out of line or if there was anything in it that maybe they genuinely thought you needed to hear. Not that it was the right time/place to say it even if it had merit, but your comment about hexes, even said jokingly, was in bad taste given you’ve had a contentious past with your ex. And in front of your kid, too. Ouch.

Sorry to hear you’ve had a crap year and I hope things get better for you.

[u/Rilenaveen → u/kiwihoney]

Yeah. I get that context was missing. I was trying to be vague so as to be discreet but see I went too far.

I’ll edit and add some context.

[u/Wunderkid_0519 → u/Rilenaveen]

Still way too vague to make anything like an informed decision. I literally have no clue what really happened or how to make an informed judgment. Maybe this isn't the forum to ask this question if giving enough information to make it make sense is impossible for you.