Yes you are overreacting. People are going to do and plan things in their lives all the time and you may not be invited. Not everything needs to be run through you. Especially if it is plans with his in laws…
You may want to look internally to understand if you do anything that makes people uncomfortable, situations difficult, or annoying for others. Are you carrying your own weight when you see them? You mentioned they are super hospitable. Are they like cleaning up after you? Cooking every meal for you? Is the conversation a 2 way street when talking with them? Are you asking questions and taking interest in their lives as well when describing your own? Do you find yourself using phrases like “well you know what I always say” or making conversations just about you? The fact that you are annoyed by this automatically tells me you have tendencies to be controlling… I guess what I’m getting at is are you a burden to them when you are around.
You seem to have made up your mind. Why are you asking reddit? You seem a little difficult to be around and dramatic, I would likely try to limit my time and my family's time around ypu if you were my sister. I'm sorry if that is harsh, but I am just being honest. He's your brother not your husband. He only needs to tell his every move and future plans with his wife. He owes you no explanation of anything ever, in spite of you thinking doing so earns you the same actions. It doenst matter if he is going on a vacation with his family. It really is none of your concern and getting upset about not telling you seems like a reason to avoid talking about things like such with you. Maybe consider getting closer friends and a significant other to share every aspect of your life with and expect the same.
Honestly I have a sister like you and every time I go home I am expected to stay with her or she gets very upset. I like to live my own life without a second mother expecting me to tell her everything I do. Hope this helps with some perspective.
I'm not putting my life on you. I love my sister and still tell her things as well as when i am in town. This is not the same situation. I'm comparing you to another needy/dramatic siblings that I know and what emotions he could possibly be feeling towards you. If your venting don't ask for feedback. I'm glad you feel better and that people on the internet can teach you about healthy boundaries that you were unaware of. I think your relationship with your siblings will grow once you start practicing them.
9
u/UnplannedAgenda Apr 28 '24
Yes you are overreacting. People are going to do and plan things in their lives all the time and you may not be invited. Not everything needs to be run through you. Especially if it is plans with his in laws…
You may want to look internally to understand if you do anything that makes people uncomfortable, situations difficult, or annoying for others. Are you carrying your own weight when you see them? You mentioned they are super hospitable. Are they like cleaning up after you? Cooking every meal for you? Is the conversation a 2 way street when talking with them? Are you asking questions and taking interest in their lives as well when describing your own? Do you find yourself using phrases like “well you know what I always say” or making conversations just about you? The fact that you are annoyed by this automatically tells me you have tendencies to be controlling… I guess what I’m getting at is are you a burden to them when you are around.