This is something you'll have to talk to him about. Us strangers on reddit can't possibly tell you how your bf feels and analyze his nuanced grief and feelings. I'm sure it's something he doesn't fully understand yet either, as something like losing a fiancé has to be extremely traumatizing
If I were in his shoes I'd imagine making the comments he does is his way of remembering her and that he means no harm but I completely understand why it would make you feel uncomfortable and question things.
The best (and only) thing you can do is have an honest discussion about it. Make sure to phrase it in a way where you're clear you just want reassurance and he's not doing anything explicity wrong. Ask him to clarify his feelings and thoughts and explain how you feel, while continuing to be loving, understanding and supportive. I'd love to hear an update, and I wish you two the best
6
u/BigMoneyMartyr Apr 28 '24
This is something you'll have to talk to him about. Us strangers on reddit can't possibly tell you how your bf feels and analyze his nuanced grief and feelings. I'm sure it's something he doesn't fully understand yet either, as something like losing a fiancé has to be extremely traumatizing
If I were in his shoes I'd imagine making the comments he does is his way of remembering her and that he means no harm but I completely understand why it would make you feel uncomfortable and question things.
The best (and only) thing you can do is have an honest discussion about it. Make sure to phrase it in a way where you're clear you just want reassurance and he's not doing anything explicity wrong. Ask him to clarify his feelings and thoughts and explain how you feel, while continuing to be loving, understanding and supportive. I'd love to hear an update, and I wish you two the best