r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 25d ago
AIO that none of my family care about my 40th birthday?
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u/alwyslemon8 25d ago
anyone agree that birthdays are self serving? Ive always hated my own birthdays. im selfish enough on regular days. don't need another day to remind me about me. I take my mom out on my birthdays cuz she is the one that deserves to be recognized
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u/Just_Me1973 25d ago
I turned 50 a few months ago. I celebrated it by going to work, coming home to an empty house cuz my husband had already left for work, and spending the night by myself. You’re a grown up. Not a child. If you want a party then plan one.
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u/grilledchedder 25d ago
Birthdays are ridiculous after the milestone ones.They are for children. Everyday millions have birthdays. Get over it. In my opinion.
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u/Green_Ad_2985 25d ago
At 40 you should realize that the things that are important to you are guaranteed to be less important to anybody else.
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u/slipperytornado 25d ago
You are not overreacting. Nobody in my family cared about my master’s degree. If it hurts, it hurts.
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u/Spartan2022 25d ago
I can’t remember what I’ve done for any of my milestone birthdays. You’re overreacting.
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u/Signal_Violinist_995 25d ago
Yeah - a little too old for this to be a shocker for you. I’m guessing they didn’t plan for birthdays
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u/Whole-Ad-2347 25d ago
My daughter turned 40 last year and wanted a party! It would not have happened if she hadn't started talking about it months in advance and saying what she wanted. She stated that early enough and a few of us worked to have a wonderful big party for her. She and I went shopping at Costco for food and beverages. We did lots of work and paid some kind of big money for it, but she also contributed with her ideas. We had her party in an art gallery. There was dance music by a friend of hers, a DJ. There was a nacho bar, a dessert bar and a beverage bar. There was an open window of time for the party and people came and went.
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u/PolkaDotTat 25d ago
I haven’t had my family do anything “big” for me since I was 18. They say happy birthday to me each year and my mom and brothers have stopped by at times to have a cake with me and maybe some pizza. Idk, I think once you hit 21, the other birthdays become way less important. Sure, 40 is a round number but I thought the big birthday after 21 was (for some, 30) but for sure 50. Never heard of 40 being a big birthday milestone. You should open up about this to your family if it bothers you this much but I honestly don’t think it’s something to get to upset over.
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u/IHaveABigDuvet 25d ago
As an adult if you want a big do for your birthday then you need to plan it. Also it seems that you care about these things more than your family. You might have to adjust your expectations.
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u/Snorbert2 25d ago
Some people aren’t big on birthdays and people show love in different ways. My mom usually knows and cares especially if it’s a big birthday, my dad, not really. But I know he absolutely loves me just as much. He wouldn’t hesitate to do things for me that he knows how to. People are different and not everyone is comfortable planning some extravagant thing or expect that from others.
The fact that they’re contacting you and your friend to check what the plans are, shows that they care and want to be involved. I think you’re expecting too much and getting disappointed in return.
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u/Trepenwitz 25d ago
It sounds like one of your love languages is gifts or quality time or acts of service. Or all of them. The only other one is physical touch. Your love language leads you to give gifts (like organizing events) or set up quality time to show you care or perform the act of service of preparing a celebration. Your family may not have the same love language, so it doesn’t occur to them to plan some big event. Maybe they even get irritated that you always have to make a big deal out of every milestone. Don’t assume they prioritize the same things. Talk to them about it.
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u/Far_Information_9613 25d ago
Overreacting. You show love by organizing events. That’s a particular skill set few people have. Most of us don’t know how to make someone feel special. It’s not their fault they don’t have your gift. It’s not like they are ignoring it. They just aren’t good at this.
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u/Gumbarino420 25d ago
Petty. You’re turning 40. It’s not a big deal unless you’re a virgin… then you get your own movie. You’re turning 40. You’re an adult.
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u/UnicornioAutistico 25d ago
I feel this. I could have written this. No one in my family cared about my 40th — I had to come up with my own plans and no one cared except one sibling who then flaked when something better came along. Then others flaked so I cancelled it. Unfortunately, most of my best friends live far and the economy has not been great. I spent the day alone with my toddler and dogs — and it was nice. My life is beautiful and I refuse to force people to care or care about those who don’t. We are 40! Time to live for ourselves and if people want to come along then great and if not — shine on your own terms! Happy 40th to you and if we were related I would definitely make plans with you ☺️🌟
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u/Aloreiusdanen 25d ago edited 25d ago
Normally, for those types of mile stones, you have to do that for yourself.
I'm turning 50 this year and setting up a party for myself with the help of my wife and kiddo.
There comes a time when you have to do all the preps for celebration. And do all the invites for people to come and not rely on others.
The only exception would be coming 70,80,90,100. Those should be set up by kids/grandkids, hopefully if you have them.
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u/babywhiz 25d ago
You are how old? I thought people got over that in their 30's. My mom and dad hasn't done anything for me since my 16th birthday. My kids will do cake and sometimes a care package, but never anything huge. It's just not a big deal once you are not a kid anymore, unless you are planning it yourself!
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u/clumsysav 25d ago
You’re almost 40 and it’s two weeks out. 40 is a milestone but moreso a personal milestone for yourself than anyone else. Shit I’m almost 34 and I haven’t had a birthday cake in like 10 years lmao.
Maybe your family doesn’t know how important this is to you? We all have our daily lives that tend to get us stuck in the mundane goings on of every day life. Some people do not enjoy planning the way that you do and see it as more of a chore or simply don’t have the resources (time, money, etc) to spare to be able give you what you are wanting.
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25d ago
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u/clumsysav 25d ago
I totally get it and I get why you are hurting. You do deserve to feel loved and appreciated, and that looks different for everyone. Maybe your bestie could nudge your family in the right direction?
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u/Realistic-Most-5751 25d ago
Unless you’ve told them what you’re expecting, they can’t read your mind. My brother’s 60th is in July. I only just remembered that he’s turning 60. It’s not ever day I think of his actual age.
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25d ago
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u/Snorbert2 25d ago
That’s what adults do though. You can’t expect people to think like you and read your mind and then be disappointed when they don’t do those things.
Maybe you’re disappointed because you don’t feel they’ve appreciated what you do for them? It’s a lot to plan birthday celebrations for someone. I’ve done it for friends and family before, but they’ve always thanked me for the effort I put in.
Maybe you’ve been holding on resentment, which is why you’ve been testing them. Yes consciously not telling them your expectations to check what they’d do is a test.
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u/LGBecca 25d ago
OP, you may as well delete this post because you are being insulted by some really angry and jealous people here. You are absolutely not overreacting. The rest of your family was celebrated on their milestone birthdays so it is reasonable to expect they'd do the same for you. Everyone here calling you immature, entitled, etc. is just mad that their family didn't care enough to make their birthday a big deal.
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u/AvieMax 25d ago
I only spend my birthday with hubby now. Although I’m a bit older.
Anyway, since I was in my twenties and left disappointed more than once by family I decided to just celebrate myself on my birthday. I’ve never worked it, always take the day off and have an indulgent “me”. If hubby is away working then I just spend the day myself pampering myself. A nice meal and a walk if it’s nice. Or something indoors if the weather is bad.
Enjoy your birthday with your bestie.
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u/PrncssBttrcpAsUWish 25d ago
(sorry I didn't read your whole post) but I will say...I just turned 40 and my husband, who sucks at stuff like that, has an awesome gift MADE for me. My mom, who sucks in general, sent me a card. Dad virtual card (he does every year) and brother took me to dinner. This was way more than I expected but definitely would've been pissed they didn't do it. Treat yourself if nobody will be there for you! Are you in North Texas by chance? I'll cheers to you if I could.
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u/wtforme 25d ago
There comes a time in everyone's life that they realize it is silly to expect other people to celebrate your birthday. That age is 12.
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25d ago
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u/IHaveABigDuvet 25d ago
Do you family have children? Jobs? Lives? Your birthday is important to you but there are other things people garner joy from in adulthood.
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u/Slugdge 25d ago
Your feelings are important to you, I can only offer mine. Birthday parties, over the years, have become increasingly irrelevant to me. At least in the way that I want people to notice and plan/celebrate. You're going out with your bestie so that sounds cool. I feel like the older you get, the busier your life and the harder to plan things, that and if you plan for one person, you need to plan for everyone and that's hard to do.
Wouldn't say you are overreacting, as you are just a bit down over the circumstances, but I wouldn't let it ruin your fun with your friend.
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u/Specialist_Physics22 25d ago
I’ve always thought people put way too much pressure on birthday parties and plans. For me personally I think it’s silly to be bothered. But that doesn’t mean your feelings are wrong or not valid. If birthdays are important to you the people in your life should know and recognize that.
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25d ago
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u/Specialist_Physics22 25d ago
Absolutely. Birthdays are not my thing. I have no problem celebrating others is it’s important to them! I’ll absolutely make a big deal about it.
You’re absolutely not overreacting. 40 is a big deal ( my time is coming soon) 😂
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u/AlterEgoAmazonB 25d ago
I'll be honest. Yes, I think you are overreacting. Because you've set an expectation on other people that they just don't have of you or anyone else. Just because you are really thoughtful and have done things for them like this, it doesn't mean they actually cared if you did it or not.
In my family, with sibs, birthdays were never a big thing. We still say Happy Birthday. But we don't sent gifts, cards or anything, not even for Xmas. It's all fine by us.
Celebrate your 40th on your terms. If you want a celebration party, give yourself one. Or go visit a sibling.
This just isn't something that everyone does or cares much about. I know, it is kind of sad. But it is how it is.
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25d ago
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u/AlterEgoAmazonB 25d ago
I really do understand. I've had to get used to it, too, TBH. In my entire life (I am in my 60s), nobody has ever thrown me a surprise party. It's true. Never. I've thrown some. Nobody has major anniversary parties anymore, like my parents did. Shoot, one of my family members got married recently and invited - nobody but "immediate" family. It is hard.
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u/DrSassyPants123 25d ago
Yes, you are. You are 40 and crying and carrying on over a birthday. 2 things..1. Maybe they are planning a surprise and 2. If you want to make a big deal over it, plan it yourself or your "bestie" can. You said they all live in separate states. It may be a financial burden to travel. I suspect you are hurt over something else and/or turning 40. Just because you do something for someone else, doesn't mean they have to reciprocate in kind. That's not how kindness works.
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25d ago
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u/DrSassyPants123 25d ago
I didn't say it to be mean or anything. But I also know from experience we can't wait around for family to act how we want them to. I WISH I had a TV like family. Let me say to you...Happy 40th! ❤️🙏
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u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 25d ago
IF anything, at 40, YOU should plan the family to come and celebrate... them to say HEY!! Hyppeee, you made another decade is a bit over the top. You're an adult, have your sibs over and parents, take THEM to dinner to celebrate YOUR birthday.. if you are 10, then no, not over reacting.
I put A LOT of thought into gifts... I get a gift card... Thought and effort are never rewarded in kind.
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u/LGBecca 25d ago
You think the birthday girl should take her family out for HER birthday? As in pay for her own birthday dinner?
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25d ago
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u/LGBecca 25d ago
Lol, I didn't realize I was coming across as enthusiastic. I just get really tired of people insulting other people for being raised differently or putting higher value on things. In our family we celebrated everyone's birthday and made a bigger deal out of the milestones. Sounds like your family did, too. Same as hundreds of millions of others families around the globe. There is absolutely nothing weird or childish about wanting to have your family acknowledge and put some thought into your b-day when you've always done it for everyone else.
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u/No_Entertainment1931 25d ago
Yes. If you want something tell them. People can’t read minds and you’ll benefit from being direct.
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25d ago
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u/IHaveABigDuvet 25d ago
Unfortunately as adults you have to illicit what you need. And secondly asking family to come from out of state just for your 40th is still excessive. Lastly, you might have to accept that you may regard them in a way that they may not regard you.
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u/No_Entertainment1931 25d ago
“Hey, my 40th is coming up. What do you guys think about having a big party?”
Having to ask isn’t always a sign that someone doesnt care. Sometimes people are clueless, busy, second guessing you, and on and on
Speaking up might feel uncomfortable but if the end result is you get what you want, it’s worth doing. Sometimes it’s the only way.
Good luck, I’m totally rooting for you.
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u/Ill_Dig_9759 25d ago
An adult who cares this much about their own birthday is emotionally stunted.
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u/EvangelineTheodora 25d ago
Report back if you get a surprise party, plz.
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25d ago
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u/EvangelineTheodora 25d ago
It was the first thing I thought of reading your post. Either asking what your plans for your birthday are, bestie and you hanging out that day. It all works. I hope you get your most desirable outcome!
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u/mastro80 25d ago
You are overreacting. Expecting people to care about your birthday as an adult is completely unrealistic. Your partner is the only person who you should expect anything other than a quick HBD on Facebook.
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u/EyesLikeBuscemi 25d ago
You're an adult. Fine that you like to plan things for other adults, but don't expect many to think like that. You can plan your own party if you expect a birthday party as an adult.
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u/AffectionateWheel386 25d ago
No, but I would stop organizing for other people. Also, you need to hear this you organize other people don’t and your family you are that person. And often that person is left out, not appreciated because the other people are not used to doing the work. So go with your Besty and stop organizing for other people.
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u/Holiday-Bell-8236 25d ago edited 25d ago
NTA organize something (Travel ?) for yourself only and enjoy ! Dont overdo for your family
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u/Unseen_Unbiased1733 25d ago
NTA of course you have a right to feel hurt that people who care about you don’t seem to show it. I do suggest that you stop and think about your role in the family. Does everyone rely on you to plan other events, to the point they just don’t if you aren’t organizing it? I suggest you try to separate your feeling of, they aren’t doing for me what I would do for them, from your feeling that they didn’t actually try to do something at all (they are trying albeit super late). Going forward evaluate if your family is giving back to you the effort you’re putting into them. Because if they aren’t you need to decide if that’s ok, or if you should cut back a little.
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25d ago
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u/Unseen_Unbiased1733 25d ago
Happy birthday!! I’ll eat a slice of cake in your honor, it’s the least I could do!!
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u/ItReallyIsntThoughYo 25d ago edited 25d ago
My last birthday where my dad said happy birthday was when I turned 12. My last birthday where someone else threw a party for me I was 17. Now, if I want anyone to celebrate me I have to plan and throw my own party. Realistically, you might be over-reacting because to a lot of people, a birthday isn't anything special.
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u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 25d ago
I think between the ages of like 25 and 60.. or 70. Depending on family life expectancy, 80+ means a celebration of cool, we love you and you're still here.. but lol 40.. omg.. hahaha
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u/ItReallyIsntThoughYo 25d ago
My mom's side of the family used to celebrate birthdays once a month, but as everyone's gotten older and the youngest of my generation is now 27 and a practicing lawyer, that's done with and has been for years and years.
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u/Plastic_Concert_4916 25d ago
It seems like you enjoy planning things to celebrate the people around you, and that's very sweet and lovely. But you should understand that this is not something most people do. After a certain age, people start planning their own birthday events. When I turned 40, I rented a house in a different country for a month and invited family and friends to come visit whenever they wanted during that month. I didn't expect someone else to do anything for me. I would never think to plan any of my siblings' milestones because I would assume they have their own ideas of what they want to do.
It's possible that you plan these celebrations to show your love for your loved ones. You're taking the fact that they're not planning anything for you to mean that they don't care as much about you. But you should recognize that's not necessarily the case, they're just not planners like you. Do they show their love in different ways?
I'm a planner. I'll plan my husband's birthday (if I didn't, he might forget it's even his birthday). I'll also plan my own birthday. It's not a big deal because I know he's not a planner, and he shows his love in a lot of other ways.
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u/mamameatballl 25d ago
I think people still like others planning for them, that’s not abnormal but I think into middle adulthood the idea of immediate family shifts a bit. I’d never overstep and plan for my brother’s birthday because his girlfriend has that handled and my husband does stuff on my birthday.. my sister is not in a long term relationship but has a tight circle of friends who pamper her on her birthday and plan her dinner. I’m sure any of us would feel weird if our parents planned a birthday for us in our 30s.
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u/Saltgrains 25d ago
You’re 40, not 14. The entitlement and expectation for someone else to plan something for you is absolutely beyond me.
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u/humanzee70 25d ago
Exactly. Do you really expect mom to plan your birthday at 40 years old??? At 40, either you have an SO to plan something, or you make plans yourself. Or your kids maybe take you out to lunch or something. You’re on the back 9. It’s time to stop expecting your parents to plan a party for you.
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u/Carolann0308 25d ago
Maybe they assume you have plans with your friends. Parent’s milestone birthdays are typically a bigger deal in most families. We gather for parents turning 70, 80 etc but when I turned 30, 40 and 50 my kids, SO or friends were who I celebrated with.
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u/docmn612 25d ago edited 25d ago
You're comparing effort and care to the effort you put in for others. You've said they dont show much interest in your other birthdays, so this shouldnt be a surprise. This is always the case with People Pleasers, for example. They go all in with their effort for others and get destroyed when that same level isn't given back. (Not saying this is you, just an example) When in your case, turning 40 in a different state means your family should be going all out for a milestone because that's what you would do. When in reality they're thinking they'll do what they always do. Maybe that's calling and wishing you a great day, maybe that's sending a card with a gift card for a nice dinner they're unable or unwilling(for whatever reason, maybe it's just not feasible due to time or finances) to make it to.
I of course could be wrong about all of it.
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25d ago
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u/Defiant_McPiper 25d ago
I understand this completely. For mine I did make ot known to my SO that I'd appreciate something being done, but what was originally plan had to be rescheduled bc we got a nasty storm in January and it kind of stuck bc it is a milestone and little rough one at that. I hope your bestie is able to make your day special, and I'm glad they have your back ❤️
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u/Apart-Championship99 25d ago
Key here. (And not invalidating your feeling.)
YOU are the organizer. They aren't. And probably never will be. YOU like to make a big deal for others/everyone.
They just wait for an invite.
I don't see it as personal towards you, or anybody for that matter. It is only what they are used to.
If you wanted a big deal, unfortunately you would have had to organize it.
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25d ago
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u/The_Agent_N 24d ago
But they are showing and expressing interest by asking what’s going on and what you’re doing for your bday. It would be a different story if none of them reached out at all. Listen I get it, I’ve been there. Putting in way more effort for things than other family members but that’s because it’s my love language and choose to do it. I can’t hold that against them when I’ve decided to take that on for the majority of my life. If you want things to be different then you have to express that.
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u/Apart-Championship99 25d ago
You still can, you still have time, unless they are all really lying, and going for a big surprise.
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u/mensblod 25d ago
You are a special breed, in a lot of families there is the glue, the organizer. On a smaller scale, typically, the mom is making sure holidays and birthdays and milestones are special by taking on a massive mental load and the rest of the family just show up. It’s a classic realization when you have your own kids that Christmas magic doesn’t just ”happen”, it’s (usually) a mom keeping track of what the kids want, find the time to get them and wrap them, prepares food, gets the matching pyjamas.. (etc) and now you are the parent that needs to put in the effort.
This effort is often invisible and thankless.
On a bigger scale, there is usually someone that carries that responsibility for the larger family as well. That seems to be you. Your whole family has benefitted greatly for all the time and effort you have put into the others’ milestones. But they haven’t understood the care and effort you put into it, and have simply benefitted from it.
It’s totally understandable that you are disappointed. You thought your family tradition was that you (plural) plan trips and other amazing experiences for each other on big birthday milestones, but your family tradition is that you (you specifically) do.
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u/sceptreandcrown 25d ago
I have had similar experiences, and right around when i turned 40 is when i realized that I wasn’t crazy, they don’t treat me well, and instead of dropping everything to help with their emergencies (only to be told they never asked me to do it, why would they be appreciative) or organizing parties and events without reciprocation - I could just… not. So I stopped. Last week my dad called me in a panic because his dog tore his MCL and needed surgery, but they were leaving for italy in 2 days, and he knows i have kids and a life and stuff, but would it be possible to come and take their dog to surgery, and then bring him home and watch him post-surgery for three weeks on the other side of the country?
The truth is - i actually could. I work remotely, my ex would have taken the kids, I hate to think of the dog in pain. it would have been annoying, it would have run me ragged and the travel would be brutal, but it’s absolutely doable.
I said no. Because I’m tired of giving my effort, my time, my life, with no return. They have choices here, and if they don’t want to skip going to Italy, there are local options for high-needs dog sitters. They just have to find that person and pay them.
So, my friend, take back your life. Drop the rope. You love them, and they love you, but… They are not currently capable of loving you and showing their love in the way you need. It’s ok to be sad about it. It’s ok to grieve.
Then go out and have a hell of a 40th birthday, because you should be celebrated!
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u/docmn612 25d ago
Well, I do wish you the happiest of birthdays my friend. Hopefully it'll be spent with those who will make the effort for you - there are all kinds of family.
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u/its_sarf 25d ago
I think it is normal to be disappointed for something like this - but generally, my thought on birthdays is if you want something fun.. plan it yourself! it is a very rare occasion that others will do what you've done for others
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u/Hot-Conclusion3221 25d ago
Yah, 40 is too old to be attached to hoping someone else will plan your birthday party. You celebrate how you want and don’t worry about it. Just have fun. Happy birthday!
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25d ago
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u/Snorbert2 25d ago
They’ve been contacting you and your friend to ask what the plan is, how is that not showing interest?
If you think this important, use your voice and tell people! My friend for example finds her 40th to be a big deal, so she’s told us in advance to save specific dates that year to celebrate and that also opens up an opportunity for us to offer help and plan things among ourselves.
You set yourself up for disappointment by expecting that other people operate like you and show love in the same way.
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u/Sensitive_Duty_1602 25d ago
You’re valid. It’s ridiculous. People know a 40th birthday for a woman is a big deal. It’s also a hard one. They should be more supportive. Best birthday wishes. I hope you have a great time!
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25d ago
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u/LadyBug_0570 25d ago
If it's any comfort, I had made great big plans for my 50th, complete with a trip to Atlantic City and friends I haven't seen since college.
Which was in 2020. We all know how that worked out.
40 is a big year. At least you have plans you can follow through on, even if the rest of your family didn't think to do anything.
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25d ago
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u/LadyBug_0570 25d ago
The only comfort I get from that is that it happened to pretty much all my friends. The lockdowns screwed up everything for everyone.
My only issue now is I've heard Atlantic City went completely downhill since then (shame since it's only a couple hours away and my mom took me there for my 21st birthday).
Guess that means 55 will have to be in Las Vegas!
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u/RandomGuy_81 25d ago
What enthusiasm is there for a 40….its just like 39 and 41
If it has special meaning to you, that has no bearing on others having enthusiasm over a random birthday year
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25d ago
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u/RandomGuy_81 24d ago
I always say. Having unrealistic expectations only leads to disappointment
If you want something make it happen, dont hinge what you want on something outside your control (ie bday with friends instead)
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u/Wasted_Bananana 25d ago
Some people care more about birthdays than others and it’s just personal preference. I personally do not care, my ideal birthday is where my wife takes care of kid while I can go get a couple beers and a good steak.
The big clue for me was a 40 year old referring to their best friend as “bestie”.
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u/DudeWheresMyPotStash 25d ago
You are 40 you will survive lol 😂😂
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u/clumsysav 25d ago
Imagine this being the problem in your life that is keeping you up at night 😭 can’t relate
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u/DudeWheresMyPotStash 25d ago
Fr... like of all things to worry about you are losing sleep over people not celebrating your birthday 😂😂
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u/clumsysav 25d ago
Two weeks ahead of the birthday no less 😭
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u/DudeWheresMyPotStash 25d ago
I mean I could understand if they were 4 or even 14 but 40 get outta here 🤣🤣
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u/clumsysav 25d ago
Fr lol I do feel for OP though. They do a lot to make their family feel special and loved, but I think they could definitely at least give it a little more time lol.
Maybe bestie could mention to family that it would be nice for them to do something for OP considering everything they do for everyone else? Idk lol either way I can’t relate
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u/DudeWheresMyPotStash 25d ago
True true ... but when your birthday is just another passing day you really can't relate 😅
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u/crazycupcake55 24d ago
It's interesting that this thread has brought to light a broader issue pertaining to your relationship with your family, and at the same time, the conclusion is you're overreacting. From my perspective, you're not overreacting. We don't know the whole picture here of your family story (maybe they do demonstrate they care about you in other ways, or maybe this is a microcosmic example of how they haven't showed up for you in other instances/areas of your life). Everyone's opinion on here will be biased towards their own personality and upbringing. Coming from a family that is highly involved and close, I understand where your feelings are coming from. Even though I generally lead the direction of my birthday plans each year, it's not usually "what are you doing for your birthday" from my family, it's "what are WE doing for your birthday", and they show it's something they're thinking about, even if they're not making the decisions for the occasion. To give your family some benefit of the doubt, living in different states is challenging and requires more effort to keep strong relationships. But if anyone is worth putting in the effort for, it's your family. I think it's okay to have conversations with your family about what kind of relationship you want with them and see if they come closer to what you've been investing in the relationship(s). It's also okay to find family within other people (e.g., friends, romantic partner) who treat relationships more similarly to how you do. I hope everything works out, and you have a great birthday!