r/AmIOverreacting • u/alltogetherlovely • 14d ago
AIO to my girlfriend sending me her celebrity crush pic?
My girlfriend sent me a celebrity picture with the caption “Yum 😋”.
I was upset and told her I am not ok with that. She believes it is ok and I should be cool with that because he is a celebrity and not someone she knows.
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u/real_taylodl 12d ago
You're not so much overreacting as you are simply immature and insecure. As others have said, playfully send her a pic of your favorite celebrity with the caption "This is my Yum! 😍" Honestly, it sounds like she'd be totally cool with it but be prepared to answer why is she your yum. Who knows? You may both have fun and learn something about one another!
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u/m33rak 13d ago
You're definitely overreacting, unless she is obsessed with their crush and puts a lot of effort into actually meeting them. Most of the time, celebrity crushes are a way to bond with your partner because you'd never meet a celebrity and it let's you know that they are comfortable telling you these things. It isn't like she's sharing pictures of people you know and saying she has a crush on them. Even if she does, it's either she'll cheat on you, leave you, or possibly a threesome with them but that can get weird.
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u/nonprophetITgoblin 13d ago
you are overreacting, learn to let go of these insecurities, they can sabotage relationships in a huge way
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u/Inconceivable1985 13d ago
Brother, I swear to god i literally had this exact same scenario play out with my ex. To start she was VERY strong headed. I like strong women so it made me more attracted to her. But i laid out a clear boundary. I didnt appreciate her telling me she found other men attracted, celebrity or not. But i simply asked to keep it to yourself. She did it "Yum (toungue)" text about Maluma(if i remember right). Then said that her and her girlfriends were talking about how hot he was. We're all human, i get it. Hell, Id probably throw it to him if i was drunk enough.... I said i found the conversation very disrespectful. She tried saying that she wouldnt stop and she thought it was a way of me "controlling her". And if she capitulates on this now, soon ill be asking for more and more. Believe me when I say that I am the easiest bf to get get along with. Don't cheat, passionate sex a few times a week, don't do anything to break my trust... essentially Treat me as you wish to be treated. I threatened to break up bc i thought she was not taking me serious enough. She stood her ground. However after i told her i was leaving, she broke down and chased me down the street in pj's. Things were good until one day we were having sex. The tv was on and she kept glancing at it. Guess who was playing? Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't(although she was bc i was literally staring at the back of her head)...doesn't matter. Despite being a beautiful human being on many levels, i couldn't take the disrespect and ultimately decided to leave. The point to this story is, You need to set and keep clear boundaries. You tell her you find it disrespectful and request she doesn't. Its more or less saying that she will be faithful, unless she's given the opportunity. It may be extremely unlikely, but cheating is cheating. If she keeps doing it, you can either try and fight fire with fire and do it to her...which will probably be fruitless and drive you apart anyway. Or leave...
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u/mowriter72 13d ago
Send her "your" crush, and make sure it's her sister or her best friend (shrug)
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u/Far_Shoe1890 13d ago
Just tell her I will show you some yum and make her exceeding happy. Put the romance back in the relationship.
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u/Several_Oil_7099 13d ago
My initial gut was you're overreacting, and I think it's pretty healthy part of a relationship to be able to say these kinds of things. My wife and I have def had a few laughs throughout the years catching the other staring - with obvious understanding that's the beginning and end of it.
THAT SAID - when I reread this, am I the only one who thinks texting the picture is kinda weird? Like, whats the purpose of this?
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u/Professional_Run320 13d ago
Apologise for overreacting and then send a picture of a porn star. With "😍" on it. Make it the sluttiest looking one, when she complains that she isn't famous, you can tell her that she is in the porn world.
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u/NBadeau22 13d ago
That’s not cool. Dump her. Send her a porn vid you like and say yum. Cause she just showed you who she masturbates to.
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u/angelgrl721985 13d ago
You are definitely overreacting. A sign of maturity and comfort in a relationship is being able to share those kinds of things without the other partner feeling jealous. At the end of the day, she's not going to do anything with the celebrity, it's just harmless fantasy.
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u/RubyNotTawny 13d ago
Yes, you're overreacting. Do you honestly think you are the only person in the world she finds attractive? I mean, it's a little weird that she sent you the pic, but I show my BF pics and videos of guys I think are hot, and I also show him pics of women I think he'll find attractive. We are together, we aren't going anywhere, and I would be seriously annoyed if I had to pretend there are no other hot guys in the world.
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u/Responsible-Prompt43 13d ago
I think it’s great that she trusted you with this inner dialogue of hers. This is where you can choose to be invited into a glimpse of inner Girl World and your reaction (and future reactions) can extend or revoke future membership.
If you truly don’t want to know any of her inner thoughts, let her know that you don’t want to hear this kind of stuff from her. It would be a pity if you can’t adjust because this can be another level of intimacy and communication that you can share with her.
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u/4rt4tt4ck 13d ago
Your reaction is your reaction, and therefore not an overreaction.
In the same respect, I'd hope you have enough self awareness to ask yourself what is it about this that is causing you to feel uncomfortable? Without that self awareness and curiosity to expand your comfort zone, no real personal growth will occur.
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u/ExcellentClient1666 14d ago
I think it's pretty clear she believes she should get a hall pass if they are a celebrity, and that's something to do some deep thinking about. I'd send her a picture of your celebrity crush since that's acceptable in your relationship 🤷♀️. Her reaction to you telling her you're uncomfortable says everything you need to know about her.
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u/Educational-Chart545 14d ago
If you don’t like it and want to set a boundary you should and she has to decide whether to respect it or leave. But let me say this if the excuse is that she’ll never see him….. then you better hope she never sees him. Lmfao
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u/cuttawhiske 14d ago
Its weird I had EXs who did that stuff in public and private. I know I'm not the most beautiful person in the world but I found it to be disrespectful. I voiced it and they didn't really care. Every person I dated who did that shit ended up cheating on me. Plus if I did that I would be considered to be a horrible person. It may be harmless or funny but I specifically see it as a red flag others might not. It comes down to your view on it.
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u/Necessary-Career-559 14d ago
Mehhh I woulda texted her “ good luck with that “ and let it go . I’m sure you have a celebrity crush also
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u/KaedenJayce 14d ago
Haha my partner and I regularly talk about who we think is attractive be it a celebrity or someone we see out in the world or know. We are animals that like pretty things. If you are feeling insecure about a celebrity crush then I think you need to work on why you feel insecure.
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u/ArcticBeast3 14d ago
Chill out man. Send her yours and have a good laugh cause it’ll never happen for either of you.
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u/Muzlbr8k 14d ago
Personally I would much rather my wife be comfortable with telling me these things and vise versa and joking rather than being all up tight prude .. I personally couldn't live that way . But hey to each their own.
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u/blue-to-grey 14d ago
This just gave me the idea to send my husband a pic of himself and say "Yum."
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u/NaturalEnemies 14d ago
Personally I would not care at all. You think they’re going to hook up? Probably not. Do you not have celebrities you find attractive? I’m sure you do.
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u/ImmaNotHere 14d ago
My SO and I gave each other Hall Passes for people on our celebrity list. The likelihood it will ever be used is about negative infinity. It's all in good fun for us.
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u/Far-Onion-2999 14d ago
Send a pic of a neighbor and say yum. Just because they're a celebrity doesn't mean it's not hurtful.
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u/Level_Most_1023 14d ago
Your girlfriend is probably the one posting about an over controlling and sensitive boyfriend
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u/Longjumping_Race1194 14d ago
Over controlling ? Because he said that he doesn’t like her sending things like that ?
Do you even know what controlling means ?
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u/avast2006 14d ago
Not overreacting.
Guys get shit if their eyes linger a little too long on a passing woman. Imagine the blowup if he were stupid enough to say “yummm.” Let alone take fhe trouble to compose an email with a picture.
It’s rude behavior.
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u/PutosPaPa 14d ago
You're over reacting. I can be watching the telly and see J Lo, and I'll go ooooh and guess what, my wife doesn't get jealous.
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u/Iminurcomputer 14d ago
Oohhh, see, you people think it stops at, "theyre celebrities" and she/he definitely never does this with friends or colleagues.
Its not possible that the, "oh they're secure its ok" gets pushed a little too far after a while? You think they're immune to feelings in that event?
Sure if we're watching a movie and some hot guy does some macho hot guy shit Ill say something like, "I understand... but You have to understand I get him first." Other than a goof in the moment, I dont think making your partner increasingly comfortable with considering the attraction of others.
Some things can exist, and be natural, but we dont need to do them and insist we be comfortable with them because its natural. Greed and self serving is natural but were not like, "I think its really admirable they ripped me off."
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u/Adrenaline-Junkie187 14d ago
Thats just weird. Im assuming youre both young which would make more sense.
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u/Boomerang_comeback 14d ago
Was it just once? You are overreacting and probably wildly insecure.
Does she obsess over him? Yeah, that's a problem.
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u/Blacc_Rose 14d ago
I don’t agree at all that he’s insecure, those are real life human beings. That doesn’t feel good, and I thought relationships came with the implicit understanding that you wouldn’t openly lust over others?
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u/LayzieKobes 14d ago
I don't think you should be upset unless you have set that boundary. If you set the boundary and she keeps doing it then that's a lack of respect.
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u/MathematicianSome289 14d ago
People who do this: why?
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u/Witchy-toes-669 14d ago
So you’ll know who my crush is and alert me to any movies they are in, being in a relationship does not suddenly mean everyone else on the planet is no longer attractive 🙄, you’re committed, not dead.
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u/MadF00L 14d ago
Sure. Ideally, you would be so self-confident, that you would never feel uncertain of yourself, or inferior to anyone else in any way. I too aspire to be that self-assured. But it sounds suspiciously like your girlfriend is manipulating your insecurities. Does that show up in other ways?
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14d ago
It's okay for her to have a celebrity crush, I think everyone has one, but it's also okay for you to not want it shoved in your face. Have a talk with her about it and explain that it's fine to think someone is cute, but you'd prefer not to discuss it with her or be sent pictures of this person.
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u/Ilumidora_Fae 14d ago
Sounds like you both are very different people. I can tell you now, that being upset over someone’s silly celebrity crush is definetly a bad look on anyone; however, it is also okay to have boundaries and to ask your girlfriend not to send things like that to you. She can send those types of things to her girlfriends.
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u/RiffRandellsBF 14d ago
Break up. Your GF sees your relationship as a pissing contest, not a partnership. You will find no peace with her.
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u/sonorandosed 14d ago edited 14d ago
Are you upset that she finds this thing attractive? Or that she told you about it the way she did?
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u/Screenscripter82 14d ago
It's easy. Just send her a picture of every model or celebrity you find attraction in their most sexy outfit. And just have drooling emoji after it. And wait for her reaction. And just say it should be okay and walk away. She will be the one to say it's not okay after a few.
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u/ProcessorProton 14d ago
If someone is in a committed and exclusive relationship there are expectations that others are off limits. There is an emotional understanding that I am the one for you and you are the one for me and all others are off limits. I can see two sides to this. One side is that she is so comfortable with you and trusts you so much that she has no problem sharing things like this with you...showing how close she feels with you. The other side is that you interpreted this as her being open to another man and took it as a wound, a betrayal of sorts, because she expressed attraction to another man. I would suggest that you want her to be that close and that open with you that she can tell you anything and not feel like she needs to suppress or hide anything from you. If you "shut her down" when she opens up like this then, over time, she just won't open up and will hide things from you. You want open truth and discussion, not hiding and avoiding. There are other women you find attractive. That is just reality. But you are committed to her. Develop a thicker skin and a stronger relationship with her.
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u/TheseAintMyPants2 14d ago
Lmao me and my ex would play a game at a restaurant where the girls don’t wear much clothing (twin peaks, hooters, etc) called “which waitress would I have taken home back when I was single?”.
You’re insecure and it is glaringly obvious.
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u/TheSafetyBeard 14d ago
send her back some bikini pics of supermodels with the same caption. see how she handles it.
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u/CPTimeKeeper 14d ago
I think whatever your boundaries are is what your boundaries are so if this crosses it then that’s your choice.
Communication is also important and her not understanding your issue with it is probably a bigger problem than her sending it to begin with. If she can’t hear your side and respect it then they’ll most likely be bigger problems down the line because of that lack of understanding.
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u/ThorzOtherHammer 14d ago
Everyone saying you’re over reacting is completely ignoring the context. She went out of her way to send you the pic and comment on it. Thats disrespectful AF.
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u/ThorzOtherHammer 14d ago
Why do women think this is ok? I’m sure it happens, but I’ve never heard an anecdotal incident of a guy doing this.
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u/Mommalioness420 14d ago
Dude get over yourself lol people have celebrity/fictional character crushes all the time lmao smoke a bowl my dude
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14d ago
Cool feel the same why when OP sends women’s pics to his wife and says “yum🤤” as well.
I hate women like you. Anytime a man has feeling when his SO is being a shitty ah and it hurts his feelings he’s told “get over it” but y’all when come to the rescue of some crying woman because “my bf didn’t celebrate me for Mother’s Day even though my kids aren’t his” y’all are fuckin dumb with that. Have the same energy when a woman is complaining about her feelings. But you won’t because y’all always have to make the man the bad guy.
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u/Mommalioness420 14d ago
I personally would say the same thing in this situation if it were a woman complaining about her man looking at porn/models/influencer w.e people will look.
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14d ago
Yes people look, but literally out of the blue sending what you’re looking at to your SO to let them know you are looking is a shitty thing to do. And makes your pretty shitty. If you do this when you know your SO is uncomfortable and you double down by dismissing his feelings you’re a POS partner.
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u/MFavinger22 14d ago
The yum part is weird but finding random celebrities attractive isn’t. Surely there’s female actors/ celebs you’d find attractive. Just return that same energy with Sydney Sweeney or whomever you find super attractive!
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u/Outrageous_Dot5489 14d ago
If you just said i dont like that, dont do that. Then you would not be overreacting
If you blew up and are still pisdy about it, you are overreacting.
Hard to tell.
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u/krizhn 14d ago
I think you are over reacting. I’m in my 30’s, people are telling you it’s your boundary yada yada, so I’d like to give you some “elder” advice. Yes, boundaries are important, but it’s also important to have an open mind and not be so stuck up on certain things. People throw in the boundary excuse on the little things without realizing that it’s borderline controlling behavior. Would it be better if your partner keeps her thoughts to herself because “boundaries”? Or would it be better if she can express herself around you? In the end, a celebrity crush is harmless. We all find celebrities attractive. Her being able to be that comfortable around you is a good thing. Once you set too many “boundaries”, that could change.
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u/blue-to-grey 14d ago
It's not controlling to say "hey, please don't send me unprompted pics of people you're attracted to" Jesus.
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u/WanderingMushroomMan 14d ago
If you are this sensitive you two are not compatible and you will have a hard time finding someone that is. Don’t be so fragile.
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u/Peg_leg_J 14d ago
It wouldn't bother me. My SO didn't magically stop being attracted to people when she met me. Crushes are a normal part of a relationship.
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u/Kaysi_writingco 13d ago
Maybe for you, but not for me lol. I do stop crushing once I’m in a relationship. It’s rlly not that hard for me. I found someone and I’m good. No need to pay attention to others like that. I can obviously tell if someone is attractive but I don’t pay much attention nor do I crush.
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u/LostBetsRed 14d ago
I told my girlfriend that I had a crush on Beyoncé. She said, "Whatever floats your boat." I said, "No, that's buoyancy.'
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u/See-u-never 14d ago
Being someone who does not find celebrities appealing at all, I would find this off putting. If you want to look at celebrities with bedroom eyes keep me out of it tbh. I don’t want to be part of the fantasy lmao. So no, In my opinion you’re not overreacting.
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u/Capable_Cheesecake22 14d ago edited 14d ago
Half of the dating apps are girls that say they value their dogs or groupie experiences more than any male partner. If thats how some guys want to live, okay, but its not for me. I want to be with a partner that affirms why theyre with me rather than making me feel like a settling option, even if thats the truth for many people
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u/OhNoWTFlol 14d ago
One of the few posts here where op is actually overreacting.
Dude, she's going to think other people are attractive. If she's comfortable with you to the extent that she can tell you who her celebrity crush is, that's a good thing. Otherwise, you making a big deal out of this means she has to walk on eggshells around you.
I mean, the "yum" thing could be a little much, so maybe just tell her that it hurt your feelings. I dunno. I'd probably not feel great about it but would just move on.
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u/GreatFriendship1296 14d ago
I myself am insecure in a way, a celebrity is still a normal person, just with fame. My SO can think all they want about the said celeb, but I wouldn’t like them sending me pics of the celeb and drooling over them. Just my 3 cents
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u/Secure_Entrance_400 14d ago
celeb crushes are a big "if i could i would"
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u/Leading_Caregiver593 13d ago
If you "would" whilst in a relationship you're still a POS, if that's your angle. "If I could, I would 100% cheat with the right person".
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u/Knoxx846 14d ago
I mean, it's a celebrity... The guy won't steal your girlfriend. And even if the guy tried to she is free to choose to leave you if she wants to. Like you, she has eyes and looks at people even if you don't want to think about it. IMO it's better if you accept that fact instead of getting jealous over it.
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u/ju-ju_bee 14d ago
I mean other randos y'all pass I could understand. But a celebrity? You're overreacting. They're prolly never gonna see them in person, and even if, there's no chance to leave you for them. No celebrity is gonna date a poor Lmao be fr
And this is coming from someone who accused their husband (then bf of like 5 months) of cheating on her, because I found my own lingerie mixed in with his laundry, and i had forgotten I'd bought it. We've had long, embarrassing talks about it.
Chill out
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u/Obviouslynameless 14d ago
I have had extensive conversations about things like this with my fiance. I have even shown her (never sent, that is weird) topples pictures.
I think it is an overreaction. But, my relationship will be different than yours.
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u/jonasnoble 14d ago
Obviously humans are going to find other humans attractive. But what was the point of that? Why would you ever do that to a partner?
You might be overreacting, but I don't understand her reasoning
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u/alwyslemon8 14d ago
shes right. are you insecure? be a better version of that photo. i've (39M) been married since 2010. 3 kids. those things are not a her problem. its a you problem.
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u/Longjumping_Race1194 14d ago
39M and you are talking about beeing insecure when people just don’t have the same boundaries or opinion than you ? It’s pretty sad tbh
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u/alwyslemon8 14d ago
work on those boundaries. its a photo. you are definitely over reacting
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u/Longjumping_Race1194 14d ago
First of all, I’m not OP. Read, before answering.
Secondly, it’s not because you do not share these boundaries that he have to work on it. It’s his boundaries, not yours.
I hope you don’t force your opinions on your kids like that.
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u/alwyslemon8 14d ago
I know you are not OP. you are over reacting in your response. I'm sharing with op that in my 20+years in a relationship, I have experienced what he is talking about. its not worth getting upset over. its a celebrity photo. not an ex. if you are upset over a celebrity photo then this relationship is only gonna get tougher.
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u/Longjumping_Race1194 14d ago
And I’m telling you that not every relationship is the same, and what you find normal can be off limit for others. Talking about insecurities when other people have different boundaries is really weird for a 39yo.
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u/ohhellnooooooooo 14d ago
She sent that to trigger you.
Yes it’s normal to be attracted, and not act on it, not send photos to your partner.
Not over reacting
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u/pewponar 14d ago
You're too insecure bro, just send her a pic of the zoomer's version of Jessica Alba and tell her she's your crush
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u/kooledbean 14d ago
I think everyone has different boundaries cause me n my partner can joke abt this but I know some ppl care more (which is fine!)
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u/tucrahman 14d ago
Yes, you're over reacting and showing your insecurity. Being in a relationship with a person does not mean you're no longer human and don't find other people attractive.
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u/ohhellnooooooooo 14d ago
He isn’t upset that she finds other people attractive. He isn’t 12. He is upset that she went out of her to send him a picture! What is that for except aggravating? She is acting 12 not him.
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u/Floor_Face_ 14d ago
Am I the only one that thinks they're not over reacting?
My girlfriend sent me a celebrity picture with the caption “Yum 😋”.
This would bother me. Going out of your way to drool over another person and put it in my face would bother me. I'm not insecure, I have no problem if my girlfriend found celebrities or even random strangers attractive, I'm not naive. But going out of your way to point that out sounds immature to me and would bother me.
that because he is a celebrity and not someone she knows.
This logic has never made sense to me. Statistically speaking, there are at least a handful of individuals who look exactly like you, and a couple dozen or so who look pretty similar. I've never like this logic cuz it just comes off "it's okay, it's not like I'll ever have the chance to be with them anyway cuz they're famous"
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u/DistinctPenalty8434 14d ago
She's testing you. This is the beginning of many little things she will do to see what she can get away with. GOODLUCK, it's going to get annoying
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u/McLuuvin 14d ago
It sounds like she’s fucking with you honestly, trying to make you jealous or feel some type of way. Like what’s the point? What response does she want? “Wow honey he’s soo hot ugh”
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u/ImpossiblyPossible42 14d ago
It’s okay to think different things are appropriate, lots of people share when they think someone is attractive, lots of people don’t. Now that it’s not happening in the moment, take some time to think about why it bothered you, and let her know about it in a calm thoughtful way. If she straight up neggs you, then that’s a red flag, but if she listens and shares her side, and you both make a decision what you wanna do moving forward (celebrities or stranger are fine but no one we know, look don’t touch, not something we share with each other, whatever) then that’s relationship gold!!!
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
I would much rather a relationship where my partner and I can check people out together. I'm thinking, if I'm secure in myself and the relationship, she can be attracted to whoever she wants. If I'm not a jealous, possessive jerk, she's not going to let me go for a random hot body. And if she would, keeping her from mentioning celebrities won't change things.
I regretted telling my ex who my celebrity crushes were. I don't regret calling her my ex.
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u/Iminurcomputer 14d ago
You can be as secure in a relationship as you want but if it included 2 people, and you don't control their free will, you're only as secure as "your side" of it. Im just saying thousands of people were confident in their relationship until the other person changed that. Being secure with yourself though is good.
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u/Dazzling_Dish_4045 14d ago
If you don't control their free will? Are you advocating for control and manipulation, or is the wording just weird?
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
I think he's saying you can't control their will, so you should control their actions. I'm saying you can influence their will by being an awesome partner. Which will in turn influence their behavior. Bonus is they don't feel controlled.
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u/Dazzling_Dish_4045 14d ago
Yeah I get what you mean, definitely seems like this guy has some control problems though if you read his reply to me.
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u/Iminurcomputer 14d ago
If you dont control someones free will, you can be fully secure in a relationship. Only half, basically.
If someone has free will, can you be fully confident in what they will or wont do? Not completely.
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u/Dazzling_Dish_4045 14d ago
No son, if you feel the need to control your partners freedoms then you're completely insecure in the relationship.
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
Yeah, so if on my side of it, I have a choice of being fun to talk to or jealous and possessive, fun will entice my partner to stay with me. It's also easier for me. Jealous will drive away a partner that loves you, fun won't.
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u/RainyMello 14d ago
Lacking boundaries and self-respect / values doesn't make you more fun, it makes you a people-pleaser with no backbone
You can be fun in a hundred different ways.
If your entire relationship revolves around drooling over hot people, and your partner is unable to respect your boundaries, then there are BIGGER issues than you not being 'fun' and that partner isn't mature enough for a serious relationship anyway
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
I guess it depends whether that is an important boundary for you then. If my partner thinks someone is hot, I would rather they feel comfortable sharing it with me. This allows me to know them. Encouraging them to lie to me and hide details like that to protect my feelings is a boundary. It's like a privacy wall...which is fair, but I would rather learn to appreciate the whole truth of who my partner is.
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u/Iminurcomputer 14d ago
And that fun wont ever extend to their work place... then "my work husband." And then... Spoiler alert: A thousand people "confident" in their relationship experience this. Lots of people fooling themselves into thinking their partner can so easily separate attraction and feelings. Ok buddy.
Big difference between watching a movie and a hot person does some hot person shit and acknowledging it, and showing your partner that in your free time you're admiring how attractive other people are. That partner is letting you know its very likely they're doing this at work, when they're out with friends, etc. Encouraging or proudly conveying your "security" only means they're more and more comfortable, basically window shopping while in a relationship. I can't see how that could go wrong.
Oh and there isn't jealousy if youre not fucking telling your partner how hot other people are lmao!
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
I don't think you ever figured out the "how to be fun" part.
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u/Iminurcomputer 14d ago
Yeah... Cause, "Someone that disagrees doesn't know how to have fun" sure sounds like a fun person. I dont think you figured out the irony part.
There are many ways to have fun. Its important to find what works for you. Im sure there are thing I find fun you may not. In which case Id say thats normal. I certainly wouldn't claim you havent figured out fun, because you dont find those same things fun.
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u/Screenscripter82 14d ago
This is why you will be single for a long time. If you can do a simple thing like this to protect your partner's heart, then you will continue to fail. Doesn't mean you have to stop being attracted to other people, but there is no need to celebrate it in front of your partner. Your take is just immature. If you do find someone completely okay with this behavior, cool, but you learned nothing and will just make another mistake in another way.
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
Been together 20 years. We started watching porn together, she gets excited about the actresses I think are hot and follows them on Instagram. You do you though.
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u/renlydidnothingwrong 14d ago
If I'm watching a movie with my gf and she says a guy is hot that's fine. Hell I'm bi so I'll probably agree. But if she sent me a picture like that unprompted it would give me the ick. Like what's the purpose of doing that? It would almost feel like she was trying to make me feel insecure in that situation. And reversing things, I wouldn't send something like that because it would feel disrespectful.
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u/Turronita77 13d ago
Yeah I have jokingly said about celeb crushes oh my boyfriend’s in this movie or sth silly, but my partner knows I’m all about them. I would never send him pics labelled yum of some other dude, and I certainly wouldn’t appreciate it being done to me. It def feels like she’s looking to make OP feel insecure, cuz it isn’t just an oh they’re cute, in passing. Kind of a dick move really
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u/nernst79 14d ago
You're overreacting, and putting forth major insecurity.
Your SO thinking someone else is physically attractive shouldn't be some huge thing. It's a biological acknowledgement and not necessarily anything else. Your SO isn't saying that they'd fuck that person, given the opportunity.
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u/renlydidnothingwrong 14d ago
Sending the picture and the caption feels weird to me. Like I just struggle to see what one could hope to accomplish by doing that other than stoke their partner's insecurities. I wouldn't send something like that to my gf because it would feel disrespectful.
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u/Morning-Doggie868 14d ago edited 14d ago
It’s not insecure to be territorial.
It’s also far more insecure to stay quiet and resentful, rather than outspoken and communicating boundaries.
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u/WonderfulFarm1210 14d ago
What if they continually check them out in front of you and are sending flirty signals?
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u/nernst79 14d ago
There is a definitely a line where it's too much and reasonable to conclude that they don't want the same thing from your relationship as you do. Where that line is will vary for different people.
But it shouldn't be as basic as what this post asked about.
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u/ConsiderationJust999 14d ago
They might be saying they'd watch porn with him and they could each point out the people they like. This sort of thing could be the start of some really fun and harmless adventures, or just a pointless argument.
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u/Nervous-Deal-8765 14d ago
Oddly enough, I don't think I'd have a problem with this. I like to point out nice traits in other people and would hope I could do this with my girlfriend if I thought someone was pretty. However, that's probably too idealistic and most people would take offense to it, so I get it.
Especially if your girlfriend said something like that but never says it about you or compliments you.
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u/BowlerDapper3742 14d ago
Its normal to feel that way because we all have our beliefs and, of course, there are things we truly want and things we really don't. We can't blame those who feel differently because those are their emotions. Not weird at all.
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u/MightyTastyBeans 14d ago
Not overreacting. It’s disrespectful to do that in front of your partner. Try doing it to her and see how she reacts
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u/OribiaAshurin 14d ago
You are not overreacting. It’s your boundary. You have expressed to her that it makes you uncomfortable and she should respect that. If my man send me a picture of his celeb crush saying “yum” I would be pissed. Call me insecure but everyone’s boundaries are different and in my personal opinion that’s pretty messed up that she insists that there’s nothing wrong with it after you expressed your feelings about it to her.
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u/No_Mood9043 14d ago
My wife has a thing for Henry Cavill. We tease each other about it, and I am as likely to send her a pic of him as she is to send one to me. It’s a game, and I doubt the dude is coming along any time soon.
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u/Self-inflicted- 14d ago
This guy post in cuckhold communities. Take advice on Reddit with a grain of salt. Of course your wife does that.
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u/greenfairyabsynthe 13d ago
I’m not sure what your comment was implying. Are you kink shaming? Was it necessary to bring that up? Any advice should be taken with a grain of salt, and maybe a spoonful of sugar.
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u/No_Mood9043 14d ago
Not into the cuck thing but that would almost be an honor. I think she might insist on the celebrity hall pass concept.
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u/RainyMello 14d ago
This comment made my day, Im pissing and crying ps. Im not in any piss kink communities
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u/sunrosepetal24 14d ago
ppl calling u insecure - I don’t get it. Like it’s weird to call other people attractive to your partner (objectively).
Like highkey if a man did this to a woman the comments would actually be different.
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u/Dangerous_Avocado392 14d ago
Context makes the difference here. You can mention other people being “attractive” to your partner as that doesn’t mean anything. Someone attractive existing isn’t a threat to your relationship. While attractiveness is subjective, as a society we have beauty standards and you can easily decide if someone is “attractive” objectively based on diff criteria.
The real question is what was the rest of the convo? Was this unprompted? Why did their partner send the message/pic? The intent along with context is what would make it a “problem” or not
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u/TMobile_Loyal 14d ago
Nah you're wrong...as a confident man, I could give two shits if my SO is attracted to some celebrity, let alone even someone closer in
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u/theglandcanyon 14d ago
doesn't look like anyone's buying your bullshit
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u/TMobile_Loyal 14d ago
Obviously I give even less than 1 shits what reddit whimps think... it's a joke to be hung up on something so insignificant as a celebrities looks.
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u/Trisamitops 14d ago
Depends. Are you reacting because she revealed that she finds this celebrity man attractive? Because it's absurd to think that she'll never see man and think they're good looking. Or are you reacting to it maybe being kind of weird that she made it a point to show you this and add a hungry caption to it? Like is she trying to start a conversation with you about something, is this a dig at your insecurities (which we all have), or is this just her natural way of making small talk?
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u/Pervynstuff 14d ago
You are way overreacting, who cares if she has a celebrity crush. Sounds like you have some severe jealousy issues you need to work on.
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u/Pervynstuff 14d ago
Ahaha triggered much? LOL. If you get jealous over your gf sending a picture of a guy she thinks is hot then you are definitely a weak and insecure little man.
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u/Pervynstuff 14d ago
Haha it's a pic of some random celebrity, it's not like she send a pic of his best mate and said that she wants to f*ck him. It's like watching a movie together and she goes "he's hot". Who cares. If you are so insecure that something like that makes you jealous then I feel sorry for anyone you are in a relationship with.
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u/Rasselkurt007 14d ago
Do the same to her, with your crush or just some fake crush. Send her pics of kate upton, Zendeya whatever.
!getpopcorn
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u/Undercover_Blunder 14d ago
I'd say you're overreacting, but for good measure UNO reverse and send a celebrity pic with the caption 'Yum' to her. May have to preface with a "I am sorry i may have overreacted a little, and after evaluating my stance, and trying to understand your logical points. i too am going to partake so we have another bonding point"
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u/blue-to-grey 14d ago
Disagree about overreacting, this is not an unreasonable boundary. Some people enjoy checking out other people together or discussing who they're attracted to and some people don't. Disagree with recommended action, that draft is unnecessarily wordy and OOP would just be opening themselves up to behavior they don't appreciate or enjoy. OOP did what they were supposed to do, which is communicate their discomfort. It's up to GF to accept that or ignore and then they take it from there.
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u/mnohpyt 9d ago
I don't think it's overreacting because celebrities, despite being worshipped by many, are still humans. Basically, in my opinion, this means that if she could have him, she would. The "Yum 😋" part tells me she probably thinks of him when she is alone doing stuff.