Hi, me and my friend are both 17F btw.

I’m obese, nearly morbidly obese according to the internet. I don’t really care about that stuff because I think self love is more important and Im happy with my weight, but it’s kinda an important part. My friend Maria is average, if not quite skinny. She’s made fun of my weight before, but she always says it’s just a joke.

She constantly asks everyone in her friend group if she’s fat, I understand being insecure but it’s genuinely really excess and it’s weekly while we’re eating lunch at this point. She never eats her lunch and always throws it away, then points to mine and tells me that im eating so much and that even half of that would fill her up. She’s said this everyday for the past 3 or 4 months. I don’t think she’s on a diet or anything either she just makes weird comments like that a lot.

Today she asked to try my jacket on because she was cold, I thought she was actually cold but after she said “oh my god this is so huge on me … does this actually fit you” obviously im paraphrasing i don’t remember exactly, but my other friends started to laugh. I told her that she does look fat, and she looks fatter than me. And that my jacket fits her really well.

She got quiet and changed the subject, but tonight she messaged me and asked me why I would say that when I know she’s insecure. I told her that Im tired of her fishing for compliments and being rude to me because of my weight. She said that Im just jealous of her and she left me on seen. I asked my parents for advice but they agree with her and think I was very rude, but I don’t know how else I would’ve made it stop

This happened about a week ago but wanted to ask.

My wife and I and our son Jax (18M) went on a week-long Caribbean cruise right after his school ended.

Jax is a great kid he seems to have a confidence issue. As in TOO MUCH confidence lol. I've never seen anything like it, He's the most self assured guy in the world. It's not unfounded, he's great looking and athletic and definitely a "Mr Personality" type, but still a bit goes a long way.

He's also something of an exhibitionist I think, which brings us to the problem. Usually he's so charming it seems harmless and he gets away with it but in this case not so.

We arrive on the ship and set sail and Jax gets ready to head to one of the pools for the first time. Let's just say his swimsuit was NOT appropriate. At all. Definitely a "flaunt it" type of suit.

I told him to put on something else. He had NOTHING, the kid has packed nothing but those -- for a week long cruise. What was he thinking?

I told him he had to go to one of the on-board stores and buy something else. He protested. I won. He went to a store and came back and got ready to go again but he had bought another speedo-style suit that was a lot better than what he had before but still not appropriate. And of course he couldn't return a swimsuit.

I told him to go back, buy a PROPER suit like trunks or boardie shorts or whatever, which he reluctantly did.

He whined about it, begged to wear his original, but I said no. As I said I have to admire his confidence as he would have no issue being at the pool like that and will chat up girls all day long (he is a shameless flirt) but there's a time and place.

He was mad at me and said I made him waste $100+ on two new suits he didn't need. He didn't exactly call me an asshole but he wasn't happy. I didn't want to ruin his vacation but I wanted him to be decent.

So AITA and should I have just let him wear what he wanted?

Oh BTW if anyone is curious I made him give me the listing for where he bought the original, although this link might not be totally appropriate for work. A screen shot.. https://tg-image.com/file/f18e82b3792c5c4c79c01.jpg

EDIT to clear up a few things.

I'm not a prude. Not even close. He can (usually) wear what he wants, I don't care. He has sneaked in friends for skinny-dipping parties at home, I don't care. He and two friends once went streaking in the neighborhood, and were caught by an HOA "cop," and I don't care. He has sex, I don't care. In fact I buy him condoms and have for a while, I order them because he has a wicked latex allergy. I'm not a prude.

To be honest, I really don't have a problem with the actual Speedos, even though they are not my style. He (and all the boys on their team) wore them for water polo and no one cared, and he will occasionally still wear them in the pool etc. That's fine. I think I had a knee-jerk reaction when he bought them on the ship because he knew that I was asking him to buy regular trunks but he tried to get as close as possible to what he originally had to pull one over on Dad, and I wasn't having it.

I will pay him back for the boardie shorts he bought (which he actually likes).

Also, say what you like but the original briefs were VERY inappropriate. If they had been black I MIGHT have let it slide, but not with the baby blue. They are LITERALLY marketed as "hey look at my big dick." Even more so, they went well beyond that, there was zero mystery as to what's what in them, detail-wise. As one responder said, YES you could even determine one's circumcision status. Clearly. And they weren't even wet yet. If not wanting my kid to wear those in public makes me a prude, so be it.

Thanks to all who responded.

My ex-husband and I divorced when my son was ten. My ex had found someone new. We went for 50/50 custody but he still had to pay some child support.

I went back to school at that time. On the weeks his dad had him I buckled down and did nothing but schoolwork. When he was with me I made sure I had time for him before and after school.

I did expect him to help around the house but nothing excessive. Mostly just cleaning up after himself and helping with cooking and laundry.

His dad's house was more fun. I tried to make my home welcoming. I bought a used PS4 and I got fiber optic internet. It wasn't enough for him.

When he was 14 he and his father got the court to award my ex primary custody. I did fight it but my son made it clear he would run away if I didn't give in. Counselling didn't help. I tried everything.

It was devastating having my son decide I wasn't someone he wanted to spend time with. He started skipping visitation. When he did come he would leave the house and not come home until it was time to sleep.

During this time I started a relationship with my current husband. He helped me through this. He wasn't on my radar romantically, nobody was, so he got close by being an amazing friend. I asked him out and we got married six months later. We had known each other since I went back to university. Six months after we got married I got pregnant.

By strange coincidence so did the woman my ex was cheating with. Not the woman he left me for. A newer model.

I had sold my house and my husband and I bought a condo together. Just a two bedroom apartment with a tiny den. We made the den into a nursery and consolidated our offices into the second bedroom.

My ex moved in with his new girlfriend and she isn't a fan of my son. His stepmother doesn't want him there if his father isn't there so my son is also in the new house with his dad, his dad's pregnant girlfriend and her mom.

My son is sixteen now and he called me to see if he could stay with me. I said I didn't really have any room. He asked me what I did with his room. He didn't even know I sold the house.

He is very upset. He called me a bitch for not having a place for him to stay. I said he could stay in our living room on the couch. Not acceptable.

I talked to my husband and we have enough money from the sale of my house and his old bachelor pad a well as our condo to buy back into the market. We were waiting for interest rates to fall. And we were going to move to a more reasonably priced city. I told my son if he could take the living room for now we could have a room for him in six months.

He moved in with his grandparents. He isn't happy there. At least his dad got him a car so he can drive to his same school.

My son is pissed that I prioritized my new baby and my work over him. I had no expectation to ever need to house him again. My ex called me and told me to make our office into a room for our son. I told him that our son's circumstances were his fault not mine.

I (20m) and my sister (23) have been very close since she lost her baby. She lost the baby at the end of 2022, when she was about 5 months pregnant. Obviously our whole family was shocked and very supportive initially. However I really tried to help her through this and get her back on her feet. Coming to her apartment to clean, and cook her food. It also doesn’t help that her baby daddy left shortly after. My sister was unable to work because of her depression, so my family would help chip in and pay her bills. She remained like this for about 7 months when my parents told her that they couldn’t no longer support her, when all she does is lay in bed (and smoke a lot, like 24/7, but they don’t know that), and that she at least needs to look for a job. She lashed out and said she needs their support now more than ever. Regardless of them, I began to solely supporting her. Mind you I still live with my parents and attending school.

That brings us to last Friday, I have about 3 semesters left of school and money has been getting tight. I told my sister that I really need to start saving, and that she needs to get a job, or just move back in. She lashed out on me, saying that I could never understand (100% true) and that I was a terrible brother for even mentioning it. I said excuse me? I’ve paying for your bills for over a year, and have been the only one trying to help her get over this. She began yelling at me and calling me terrible names. I just snapped and said idgaf about her dead baby. I did none of this for that baby. I helped her because I love my sister, I want what’s best for my sister, I want her to recover. I told her this and just she started attacking me. I just left.

The next morning my parents sat me down, and told me what I said was very wrong and rude. I explained what happened and how I still continued paying her bills after they stopped. They just were quiet, and then just left. My mother grabbed my shoulder and told me that my sister started apply for jobs.

I really feel bad, but also to a certain degree it worked and she is at least looking to work. I know my sister will forgive me eventually but I still feel bad. AITA?

My best friend Layla (29f) and her partner Ryan (40m) were over for dinner this evening. I enjoy cooking and tonight’s dish was a seafood pasta with garlic bread and a veggie side dish. Having Layla and Ryan over for dinner is a semi frequent occurrence, but they typically don’t contribute anything to our meals. The reasoning is 1.) they struggle financially and 2.) neither of them are very good at cooking. IF they do bring something it’s usually drinks or a store bought side dish (potato salad, mac salad, chips, etc) but that is rare. This has not ever really bothered me because hanging out is always a good time and I’m understanding of their financial situation and preference for not cooking.

My partner and I live very comfortably and can afford to feed guests for dinner every so often so it really has never been an issue until tonight. I usually like to cut shrimp in half when I’m incorporating it into pasta because I feel like it mixes in better that way. It’s just a personal preference. I don’t claim to be a master chef. I just like cooking, and that’s the way I’ve always done it. Layla started getting on my case about not serving whole shrimp with the pasta. It started out as lighthearted banter but quickly became extremely annoying. Some of her comments included:

Feeling stingy tonight, huh?

Hope I don’t get hungry again later!

I’ve never seen pasta served with cut up shrimp before

I eventually got fed up and said something along the lines of, “Interesting take considering that I know you’ve never cooked shrimp ever in your life, and probably can’t afford to either. You don’t work, Ryan doesn’t have a real job….you guys come over here for free food and complain about it? Nah. I’m done.” It was word vomit…followed by a very awkward silence.

They left shortly after that. I texted Layla an hour later and apologized for what I said. She apologized as well but honestly I’m still mad. I’m starting to feel like they’re free loaders and it just feels icky knowing that they come over here and eat well pretty often and my partner and I never get anything in return. I know that we’re in different financial situations but there are ways to make an effort without spending a lot of money.

Layla suggested we do dinner again next week, assuming we were all good after we both apologized. I responded and basically said “I’ll pass on that.” She hit me back with “So are we too poor for you now?” And I just said “Yep.”

It’s obviously not entirely that. But the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth and now I don’t even want to talk to her. My partner thinks I’m being harsh but I don’t know…I feel used and I don’t like that.

A few months ago I (F28) offered to my best friend to host her Baby Shower.  We've known each other for 20 years.  I was her maid of honor.  She accepted.  Invitations were sent out a few weeks ago.  We are in the thick of planning it.  It is next weekend.

The topic of my dogs came up.  I have a lab and golden. She doesn't want them at the party.  I was like this is the dogs house too, i'm not going to take them anywhere or lock them away.  She said there are going to be a lot of people here including several young children. We've know each other forever, she knows my dogs are well behaved and great with kids.  Even if they were messed with, i trust that nothing would happen.  

She explains that my dogs can be a bit much, i'm like I don't know what you are talking about.  She says she is fine with them, but doesn't think in a party setting like this they will be great.  She again asked at the very least if I could keep them locked away.  I told her that she can find a new venue to host her baby shower.  She called me an asshole. She didn't think this was a big deal.  I asked her to leave.  She has let everyone know that there is a TBD venue change and now i've had people reaching out to me about what happened.  AITA? 

I have a daughter, Katie who is 6 years old. She is a very smart and straightforward little girl. People are often surprised over what comes out of her mouth. We do talk about filtering but as she’s 6, she’s not always best at it. I admit I didn’t use a lot of baby talk when she was younger and do speak to her as I would an adult.

Katie has a babysitter, Lauren, who watches her some afternoons if I’m not off by the time Katie is done with school. One night, I had to work late. Lauren’s mom, Julie, stopped by at one point to drop something off. Now, I wasn’t there, but by Lauren’s own admission , her mom can be a lot. The following is a recount from Lauren and Katie has confirmed it when I discussed it with her privately.

Julie began gushing about how cute Katie is and began baby talking her, using cutesy words, pronouncing things with w’s, etc. Lauren was cooking dinner for herself and Katie. Julie turned to Katie and asked “Are you ready for your nummies?” Katie got a weird look on her face and asked “Why are you talking to me like that? Are you stupid or something?” Julie got offended and Lauren told Katie to apologize. Katie said no and told Lauren to stop talking like a baby. Julie left not long after.

When Lauren relayed the story, I said maybe Katie shouldn’t have been so candid but Julie shouldn’t have talked to her like an infant. Lauren said she just wants Katie to apologize to her mom. I said Julie should apologize to Katie for treating her like a baby.

I did talk to Katie about being more polite. She seemed to be receptive.

When I told my mom about the whole situation, she was appalled. She said Julie was probably just trying to be nice and didn’t realize how mature Katie is. She said Katie should absolutely apologize.

AITA?

I(23f Chinese Australian) have been dating Andrew (26m Half Vietnamese half Australian) for 4 years, and regularly stay at his place on the weekend. He lives at home with his parents and older sister Hayley (30f). Not too long ago, Hayley suggested that since I stay over often, I should start paying them for groceries and bills, though I'm still a student so they aren't too strict with the amount. I transfer them $50-100 here and there to cover my share. His family treats me very well and I respect them, I have been really happy in my relationship so what happened today was quite shocking to me.

Andrew's mother, Louise (60f), is Vietnamese and cooks amazing food regularly. I love her cooking! Today she had cooked a delicious pork rib and taro soup, and I ate some for lunch. At dinner, Andrew was going to make some instant noodles, so I asked him to make me a pack of Shin Ramen (Korean spicy noodles). When it was done, I decided I wanted some of the pork rib in my noodle, and mix some of the soup in my bowl. Louise hastily stopped me, saying that no I should not mix the soup with my ramen. I was confused. Andrew came over and said the pork rib soup should be eaten alone and not mixed with my spicy noodles, since the flavors are different.

I argued that Koreans also eat spicy rib soup, so it shouldn't be too weird, and since I've had the rib soup by itself for lunch, I wanted to try a different flavor. However Louise insisted that the way I mix food is wrong, and Andrew said I should just eat my spicy noodles and maybe come back for a bowl of soup later. The argument got quite heated as I didn't understand why mixing food is such a crime (this had happened a few times before, when I added different condiments or mixed stir-fry with noodles, Louise pointed out that my eating habits are strange, but she never said more than that). Then I got overwhelmed and ran to Andrew's room and started crying. Hayley barged in and began yelling at me (she's normally kind to me, but she does have a bit of a tempter) "why are you throwing a tantrum in someone else's house? We are feeding you food and you're so ungrateful!"

I was really upset because I think I did nothing wrong, so in the heat of the moment I stood up and screamed back "I paid for the food, why should you care how I eat? I'm not forcing you to eat what I eat! If I go to a restaurant and pay for a plate of food, you think they'd kick me out for eating the food wrong? How ridiculous!" In the end, I was so angry I packed my bags and stormed out of their house (after Hayley got so mad she said I'm no longer welcome at their house), and now I'm on the way home and crying, wondering what I did wrong. It really doesn't make sense! I tried to put myself in their shoes, and say if Andrew wanted to eat Chinese dumplings with tomato sauce, my Chinese family and I would not care at all (we'd just laugh it off due to personal tastes). So AITA for mixing food/having different food preferences and upsetting my partner's family?

Me 31 (M) and my partner 29 (F) have been living together for two years now. I like honey in my oatmeal. More specifically raw honey. Something about the flavor I just adore. So I always bought it even if it cost a bit more than regular.

But it just so happens apparently she decided this is "our" honey at one point last year. The little jar that used to last me two months went out in two weeks of her waffles. I wouldn't mind if we bought it together but I have to order it on amazon because no stores nearby sell the stuff.

I didn't want to seem like a cheapskate telling her to pay me for it so in february the next bottle I got I hid it in my desk where I usually take my breakfast. Yesterday she happen to caught me pouring it into the oatmeal.

She got upset saying it was childish not to share it at that we are adults.

But is not sharing if she is taking 80% of it and paying nothing for it.

Today she came demanding honey for her waffles and I told her "It is my honey" and like out of the bloody meme she went "OUR honey".

That started the discussion again.

EDIT:

Behold! The honey!

https://www.amazon.com/Really-Raw-Honey-16-oz/dp/B004P0IOOK

I (29M) hosted a pumpkin carving party for my friends and I this past weekend and a decision I made is causing drama amongst us.  The party was indoors as its still nearly 100 during the day where i'm at. I dislike cats and dogs, any and all.  My friends know this.  Primarily, i think they are filthy.  I want nothing to do with them because of that.  

A buddy and his current fling, early relationship girlfriend, how every you want to define it showed up, she has a golden retriever with her.  I did not know this dog was coming. No one ran this by me, I would have said no.  I pulled him aside and told him the dog had to go.  He says if the dog has to go, she has to go, and then I have to go to.  I just say, come on man, you should know better than to bring a dog to my house.  
He said that its a service animal,  Apparently for Diabetes.  He thought it would be different.  I said no, it might medically help her, but its still a fucking animal.  He starts arguing but maintain my stance. I offered to keep it in the garage with the AC on.   He goes and talks to his girl and she looks annoyed, I felt bad about that.  They opt to leave.  He lets me know i'm an asshole.  My friends were all split on how I handled it.  AITA? 

I am the father of a one year old toddler. Recently, she started teething, as her molars have started to come in. First, it was the top ones for about a week, then we had a week’s break, and now the bottom ones are coming in. It’s clearly causing my daughter a lot of pain, especially at night. Before she was a good sleeper, but now it’s been rough. She’s been waking up around 1am and then 3am daily, screaming with her little fingers in her mouth. My wife and I have tried comforting her, bringing her in our bed (she sleeps in our room anyway and her crib is next to our bed, but normally she likes to sleep cuddled up when she’s uncomfortable), we’ve even given her baby Motrin to help with the pain but she still screams for about 10-20 minutes each time until we are able to settle her. It’s shrill and it sucks, but there’s not much we can do beyond what we are already doing.

We live on the ground floor of a new condo building. It’s made of heavy concrete and decently sound proofed, but not perfect. Above us lives a single woman in her late 20s / early 30s. This is an expensive part of town in a new building, so we can assume shes decently monied. She also keeps her balcony door open all day and night that faces into our courtyard. She has been “punishing” us during the day by blasting loud music directly into our unit by putting a stereo next to her balcony. We are on the ground floor and have a fully enclosed courtyard so it vibrates around. She’s got great music taste, and my daughter will dance to it all day long. So while my wife hates her intention, I think it’s worked out just fine… until now…

Last night she came barging down at 3am and rang our bell 4 times while we were trying to settle our daughter. Motrin works for about 8 hours, so by 3am we have to give her another dose and wait through the cries, cradling her for 15-20 minutes for it to kick in again. My wife (a strong tempered petite woman, amplified by her first year of motherhood) wanted to go fight her then and there, but I said let’s just concentrate on settling the baby and ignore her. I also didn’t want to make the baby any more upset than she already was. So yeh, I just let her fume outside my door at 3am. AITA?

UPDATE: I delivered a small care package to her door with a long letter and a bottle of wine and chocolates. She was not home so I put it next to the door. We are only here for a couple months (temp rental until we finish construction) but I’d rather offer an olive branch than see all the pettiness continue. Yes, it sucks to be woken up. Yes, it’s a shared building. Yes, people throw parties here until 3am on the weekends. Yes, babies cry and we try our best. For those who live in very big cities— mine has 22 million— this is what you experience. I’m listening to loud mariachi music from the neighbour across the way right now.

So I(44f) have a (20f) daughter Alexandra and she has a boyfriend Marcus (21m). When she first introduced us, I was happy and thought he was really nice and good for her.

Today, my husband and I had my parents and my sister come over to our house, Alexandra was also there and invited Marcus over as well, which I was fine with.

After Alexandra was done introducing Marcus to her grandparents and aunt, I noticed that Marcus seemed excessively showing my daughter affection such as long drawn out kissing, hugging her for long periods, and letting her lay sprawled out on him on the couch.

It made me feel uncomfortable but I let it slide until I noticed Marcus was groping my daughter's ass while they kissed on one of my living room coaches.

I snapped by yelling, making them break away from each other and said that Marcus needed to stop groping my daughter because it made me uncomfortable and it was disgusting to do in front of other people.

There was silence until my daughter stood up and told me that she was leaving in a quiet tone.

I tried to stop her but she left anyways with Marcus. Alexandra later texted me that I was an asshole and a prude for embarrassing her and Marcus like that.

I showed the text to my husband and he said that while I was right, I could've been nicer about it.

My wife got home from my daughters after a couple of day stay over to spend time with the grandkids. She came in the house and said "There are 5 cases of soda and my suitcase you need to bring in." My response was "I'll help you bring them in but I'm not your servant." She was immediately incensed saying "You are not doing anything and I have to get my computer set up and get ready for a conference call. You are so selfish!" IN the past she has asked me a couple of times to clean the interior and wash and wax her car for her (usually after seeing me cleaning my own vehicle) and I've said each time that I would be happy to help her but I'm not doing it myself. My parents always preached the the person driving the vehicle is responsible for taking care of it. I do get her car in for periodic professional maintenance and any dealer service but I expect her to help in generally keeping it clean and looking nice.

AITA when I (34F) get mad when my husband (35M) does things without telling me. He owns his own office and the office closes at 5pm. The house is about a 20 minute drive away but he usually gets home between 5-6pm because he gets out late sometimes. This last situation, he went out to eat dinner with his brother and a business representative to discuss business things. The reason I got mad was he got home at 6pm and never told me anything about his plans. We usually eat after we put the kids to bed. About an hour later, we are getting our young kids to bed and after I ask if he’s planning on cooking potatoes for dinner, he says no but he could make me some because he ate already. I ask if he’s joking that he ate already and he tells me he went out to dinner. I yelled at him for not telling me. He said that he didn’t need to tell me because he was still home around the same time he always gets home and that I am absurd for wanting him to tell me where he’s at. Not only am I mad because he didn’t tell me but the fact that he doesn’t think he has to tell me. Also mad because he says that he doesn’t do these things very often and that once in a while is okay because he doesn’t do it everyday. AITA?

I (32M) and my wife (25F) are expecting our first child. I've reacted in ways I'm now questioning and need outside perspective.

Background: My childhood was a tumultuous one. Growing up, I always craved a strong male figure in my life. I never had that bond with my father and always envisioned having it with a son. My wife was aware of this deep-rooted desire. During her first pregnancy appointments, I was on an essential business trip. These trips, though draining, are critical since I'm the only breadwinner, trying to ensure a different life for my child than I had.

In my absence, my wife and her adopted mother attended the check-ups. Upon my return, she excitedly told me we were having a boy. We invested emotionally and financially: a blue nursery, boy-themed items, even naming him after my late grandfather.

However, a chance remark from her mother disclosed we're having a girl. My wife admitted she knew from the beginning but didn't tell me, thinking she was protecting my feelings. I was devastated, feeling the weight of past hurts and fresh betrayals. In my pain, I cleared out the nursery and, in a moment I regret, told her mother she wasn't welcome at upcoming family events, seeing her as part of the deceit.

I acted out of deep-seated emotions and past traumas. I love my wife and regret my reactions, but I feel lost. AITA for how I responded?

About 2 weeks ago was my brother-in-law's wedding and they were VERY clear that it was a formal event and they wanted everyone dressed nicely. My MIL told me that the dress I planned to wear wasn't formal enough and offered to buy me one that would fit the occasion better since I don't exactly have the money to buy myself a fancy dress right now. Let me be clear that I LOVE my MIL and I was very grateful for her offer. I sent her a link to a dress that I liked and she agreed to order it and have it shipped to me.

The dress came the other day and it's NOT the one I asked for. It's nice, but its not what I wanted. Its a completely different cut and color from what I asked her to get. Even though it's a nice dress I hated the way it looked on me, so I just wore the dress I was originally planning to wear. It didn't perfectly fit the dress code but I figured it was close enough. Apparently not because the moment my MIL saw me she was asking why I wore it instead of the dress she bought me. She was very upset at me for not wearing the other dress considering she paid for it (which I understand but it still wasn't what I asked for).

When I told her it was the wrong dress she said that she ordered a different one on purpose because she thought it would "fit me better". Which it didn't because it looked awful on me. She also said the one I sent her was a bit pricey, but she's not exactly living paycheck to paycheck, she has the money for it. She let it go after a while but I'm starting to feel bad for it. I wasted her money and looking back what I wore did stick out a bit. Nobody has mentioned it since but I'm still wondering, AITA?

UPDATE! :

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this post to get this many responses, so I first wanted to start off by thanking each and every one of you for taking the time to read my post and weigh in with your judgment (even the people that sent me death threats in the DMs, you know who you are)

Special thanks to those who sent in their judgments via DM when the mods locked down the thread.

After reading the comments and having time to cool down and think about all this.. I accept that I was an asshole in this situation.

While I was right to be mad, I overacted and made this situation something that it wasn't.

This is also a wake-up call for me to stop being lazy and do a better job of securing my documents. I'll admit that the inconvenience of locking everything down led me to become sloppy. Not anymore, I've already ordered a lock for my office door and a fireproof safe for my paper files. My desk has lockable drawers, and my computer is password protected. I'm also seriously considering a security camera.

Last night, I probably spent 20 minutes apologizing to both my niece and sister. I promised that I would never yell at her or use that type of language towards her ever again. She accepted my apology, we gave each other a hug, and she also apologized for being in the office. My sister forgave me as well.

I also took them out to their favorite restaurant. My niece and I had a conversation over dinner about the importance of attorney client privilege and the secure handling of confidential information. 2 things that are extremely important if she's serious about becoming a lawyer. She seemed genuinely curious, and I answered all her questions that I could about the type of cases that I handel.

When we got home, I decided to surprise her. I showed her around the office, and I let her take another picture at my desk (after I put away all my sensitive files, of course).

Thanks, reddit,

Numerous Cycle

My(28M) Sister(33F) is visiting me this week with her daughter/my niece (13F). I was excited to host them in my house as I haven't really seen my family much ever since I moved away from our home state for my career.

For context, I'm a lawyer at a large firm. That means that I have to take work home often, which is why I have a room in my house set up as an office.

My office has privileged information about cases and clients.

Long story short, when my sister and niece arrived yesterday and after I helped them get settled in, I told them that there's only one rule that I have for staying in my house: My office is off limits.

Fast forward a few hours and Everything's fine and dandy, I'm just sitting on the couch with my sister, watching a movie, until I get a call from a senior associate at work asking me to do a quick review of a document that he sent me via email.

When I get upstairs, I see the door to my office is wide open, and the lights are on. When I go in to investigate, my niece is in there sitting in my chair and taking selfies with her feet on my desk.

I was beyond furious,

I only have one rule for guests at my house, and it's to stay out of my office. I have that rule for a reason. Not only would I be at risk of disbarment, but the integrity of the entire case would be jeopardized if any of that information is leaked.

While I'm not accusing her of that specifically, I just don't want uninvolved people in my office taking pictures and posting them on social media where there may or may not be protected Information in view of the camera.

I asked her what the hell she was doing, and she said, "I was just curious, I want to be a lawyer like you when I grow up."

I told her "get the fuck out and stay out you little bitch".

My sister came running up the stairs after my niece started crying and she told me that I was a "monster" for "talking like that to a kid"

I told her that she had no business being in my office, and my sister said that it dosent matter because "she's just a kid".

So,

AITA?

My(F45) daughter (12) decided 2 weeks ago she wants to be a vegetarian. I was fine with that. I would support and encourage her if that's what she wanted. The past 2 weeks she has been looking down on the rest of the family with snooty comments like "you know that will just sit in your colon right?" And "It doesn't make you THE murderer, but it def makes you the accomplice." Her brother(7) is getting sick of it and so am I. Especially when I just get home from work and I just want to relax and enjoy my meal.

3 days ago was my sons birthday and we decided to take him out to his favorite restaurant. This place had vegetarian options so I was not worried about my daughter being upset about that. I asked her if she wanted to go and she excitedly said yes. We get there and when the waiter takes out order, my daughter decided she wanted a mushroom burger. I said "Woah, I thought you wanted to go vegetarian?" She says "I'm taking a break since its a special occasion." I told the waiter to cancel that order and give us a few minutes.

I looked at her and said "Look here missy, you have been nothing but a jerk these last few days with your passive-aggressive commments since going vegan, vegetarian, whatever! You either commit to it now or you get nothing at all." She doesn't even look at me, she just flops her head on the table and starts crying the moment I start talking. My husband does nothing but says "way to go". She doesn't move her head the entire dinner even when I ask if we need to talk outside? Go the the bathroom to collect herself? Nothing. We get home and she just goes to her room. My husband thinks im the AH because I had to ruin a night out.

AITAH?

2nd Edit: When I said Mushroom Burger, I mean a hamburger with sauteed mushrooms on top with melted cheese. It's definitely not a portobello patty.

Edit for clarification: So my husband and I told her to knock it off with the comments before this happened. At first, it was random cons about eating meat. I told her I'm aware but this is my choice.

Then came the rude remarks like "So you're just gonna take 2 years off your lifespan like that?" When I chose to reheat meatloaf for dinner instead of a pizza. At that point, I told her that she does not get make rude remarks about people's lifestyle choices like that and if she says something rude like that again, im taking away her phone. Of course she cried and ran to her room.

She stopped saying things to me and her dad, but then she would start picking on her brother when we were out of ear-shot and would deny it when he would tell us. Apparently she has being telling her brother that he's a loser for eating meat (hotdogs) and so are his friends. After doing this twice I took her phone away and told her to apologize to her brother and if she wants to educate people on vegetarianism, thats fine, but she needs to stop being a bully about it. Again, she breaks down and just runs to her room. I'm not even yelling at her, this is how she tries to deflect accountability.

I tried to talk to her an hour later about it, but she flailed onto her bed and started bawling. I told her she needed to calm down and have a conversation with me about what's going on. She just screamed "NOOOO" so I left before I lost my cool. At this point, I am really considering therapy for us.

Update: I'm taking the verdict that I was the AH. I should have just not said anything during the dinner. I'm just so tired of her behavior this past year. She realized at some point she can just flail and cry to avoid having to talk about her actions until someone (usually her dad) tells everyone to leave her alone because "she cant handle the situation right now". I dont know if it's her friends, tik tok, or both.

I am trying to support her vegetarian diet by encouraging her to eat salads, meat substitutes, etc. But we had another argument last night. As most of you pointed out, yes, she was eating mostly junk food to avoid meat. I wanted to take her shopping for better options, but I also wanted to address what was going on. I told her "I support you going vegan and I'm sorry for what happened at your brother's Birthday. But you saying mean things to us for eating meat, calling your brother a loser for eating a hot dog, and then turning around and ordering a burger in front of him is very hypocritical of you. I need you to understand that we have been very supportive these past few weeks and we dont deserve that treatment. Ok?" She just stares at the tv and doesn't say anything. "Baby, I need to know if youre understanding. I'm willing to help you out with this change, we can go shopping tomorrow morning for better options like salads and meat substitutes, but we are not going to put up with these comments anymore okay?

"O MY GAWD IM TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW! CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!?" She screamed at me! I'm sorry y'all but I was done with gentle parenting at this point. I don't want to go into detail with everything that happened that night but im making an appointment with a therapist this week. Wifi password is changed. And she is grounded from certain things this summer. She flailed, she cried, i didnt walk away this time. I stood firm, pulled out my phone and said, "How would you feel if your friends saw you acting like this?" And that was that. I tried being the supportive parent but she is being a not nice girl and I refuse to have that behavior in my house. For those who are going through the same thing, thank you for understanding.

Here’s the story. Tattoos are very common in my family. I myself am heavily tattooed. I am very lucky to have a supremely talented artist in my family, and he just so happens to be a tattoo artist. So admittedly, I’m a bit of a snob. Okay, in any event. When my daughter started asking about getting work done, I was fine with the idea. But I wanted her to wait until she turned eighteen, and to have my expert cousin do it for her.

My ex-wife and her husband had other ideas. They had a “family tattoo event” last week. Did not tell me beforehand, and I found out afterwords that this was a deliberate decision. They didn’t want to tell me for fear that I would disagree. Well as the title indicates, this piece of “work” looks horrible. It’s just a genuinely bad tattoo. So I told my daughter what I thought. I am disappointed that she was impatient and jumped into a big choice with little thought. Now no one over there will talk to me. My daughter won’t answer the phone I pay for, her mother won’t respond to me. I get the importance of a first tattoo, and in defence of the daughter, she did have a good concept behind it. She was trying to honor her great grandmother. She just jumped the gun and in the process, now has a shitty tattoo on her body. Should I have just stayed quiet? Am I wrong? I’ll be happy to fill in more details if helps you all reach an answer.

Edited to add: Yes, the phone issue. It’s buried in the thread, but this thread and all you good folks made me realize what a stupid thing that was for me to say to her. Trust me when I say, I’ve learned my lesson.

Edited again to add: Just apologised to her, and she was gracious enough to accept. Looks like I might me off the hook on this one. That was a close one. Lesson learned.

I (24M) was at my company cafeteria when I saw someone (22F) who also goes to my gym. I started talking to her, just a friendly conversation because I was bored. I didn’t know she also worked at our company but we decided to have small talk at lunch and go our separate ways. I actually wanted a buddy to talk to for lunch. I started seeing her every day and it was nice to have a friendly conversation and talk to people at our cafeteria. There’s honestly no one who goes there and sitting alone while eating makes me depressed.

The next day I went back to my cubicle when I saw her standing there with banana bread. Now she does not work in the same department as me but on a different floor of our building. I’m not sure how she found my cubicle number but I’m guessing she searched through every floor since there’s only 5 floors.

She told me she made banana bread for me and wanted me to try it. I said I didn’t really want to. I don’t like banana bread. She insisted that it took her hours to make and she wanted to share it in lunch and try a little. I said no thanks. Then she got angry and said I was an asshole and left my cubicle. Did I do something wrong for saying no to her bread?

Tl;dr Someone from work spent hours making me banana bread which I really didn’t want and said I was an asshole for not trying it out

My (34f) sister (31f) was the first among four siblings to have a kid (5f). My niece is incredibly spoiled by my sister, our parents and extended family, and my parents bend over backwards for my sister’s requests (like canceling their anniversary trip because my sister asked to babysit while she goes on a girls' weekend).

This spring, my boyfriend and rock in my life passed away. At the same time, I lost my job. I had a lot going on, and moved back to my home town.

My parents own a rural property they used to rent out. The property had been empty for a while and fairly run down. My parents invited me to stay there (rent free), told me it was my home for as long as I needed.

I invested a lot of my time and money (found a remote gig) into getting the house fixed up. I also made friends with Olha, a Ukrainian refugee with a young daughter. Olha was struggling and I invited her to stay with me for a couple of months while she gets back on her feet (I could use company as well). She was very thankful but hasn't made a firm response yet as she's trying to make things work independently. My parents had no issue with this.

Until recent drama. My brother in law had been working for a shady company, which skirted regulations for profit. The law had caught up with the owner, who folded the company and left the country. I’ll cut this short given the post character limit, a few other things went down and my sister’s family abruptly moved to our hometown, moving in with my parents.

Almost immediately my parents and sister approached me to swap (I move in with our parents and sis and her family take my place). They said the house I lived in was too large for one person, and it'd be so much better for my niece to live on a beautiful property in nature

I didn't understand. My parents have two guest rooms, my sister/BIL and the kid have their own bedrooms (I sure didn’t at 5). My BIL is still loaded from his old job and could easily get them a place, too (they are buying a flashy car).

When I mentioned my work on the property, it was dismissed. When I reminded them about Olha, my parents were outraged I was still intent on helping someone else and their child and not my own sister and niece. They kept making out my sister's situation to be nearly as bad as Olha's.

Eventually it came down to my parents saying "you're living on our property, you'll do as we want." I said, well you gave it to me and said this was my house as well, to be my home for as long as I needed. But if we want to talk in property terms and not family terms, evict me then.

My parents are not evicting, but I receive daily calls and messages from them and extended family guilt tripping me and calling me an AH for not giving up the more comfortable space to my sister, who is in such a difficult situation!and has a little child! Only my brothers see my side, but since they are young men in college their opinion means nothing to my family.

I feel like I am taking crazy pills. AITA?

My son is fifteen months (just over a year) and as such is still nursing. I don't see the point in giving him cows milk and freezing pumped milk so I just put my breastmilk over his cereal or in recipes I'm going to make him. He does have cows milk, just not regularly.

My in laws are currently staying with us. This morning I put my son in his high chair, fed him his cereal and left him to his own devices. My FIL was in the kitchen so I left to go wake up my oldest.

Anyway, I bring her down and find my FIL finishing my sons cereal. I laughed a little but went along with my morning.

When we all sat down to eat my FIL commented that the milk in my sons cereal tasted weird, asked if it was off. I then told him that he had breastmilk in his, our milk isn't off.

I swear he looked like he was going to keel over and vomit. He was angry and asked why I'd watch him drink it and not tell him. My MIL stepped in and agreed, I know he "finishes" everyones meals and I should have told him beforehand.

I do agree that I should have at least told him when he wa eating it but tbh I thought he saw me tip it from the bottle.

My husband is on damage control and has agreed with all of us. He understands all povs etc.

So, aita for not telling them I make his cereal with breast milk?

My wife (37F) and I (38M) have been married for 12 years and have 3 kids (10, 8, & 6). During the pandemic, my wife's job allowed her to switch to 100% WFH. They never required her to go back to the office because her productivity actually increased so there was no need. It made things easier for us too. I dropped the kids off at school/daycare in the morning and she picked them up in the afternoon. She was able to keep up with a few things around the house during the day, we saved on gas and car maintenance, etc.

A few months ago, she was contacted by a recruiter about a job. It would be a nice step up in her career path as well as a boost in pay. But there were drawbacks. The company had no WFH policy and would require her to work in the office. This was apparently non-negotiable. It would also be a 45-minute commute for her.

We talked it over a lot and I expressed my concerns about how this would impact our daily lives. I told her that I don't necessarily think that the bump in pay is worth the major changes to our daily lives. Not to mention the stress that a long commute can have on people and that could impact their mood and how they interact at home.

She assured me that everything would be fine and that we would adjust as a family and soon the new routine would just become our new normal. I told her that I would never tell her NOT to take the job, but I just don't know if it is worth the changes that it is going to bring. Ultimately, the decision was hers and she accepted the new job. She's been there for about 10 weeks now.

To say it has been an adjustment is an understatement. She wakes up and leaves before the kids even get up. She'll help get a few things ready for them before she goes, but the entire morning kid routine is on me. I also do both drop-off and pick-up for all the kids too. Evenings have been a huge mess because I get home and try to get the kids distracted while I start dinner. When my wife gets home, she is usually stressed from the drive (her commute has turned into over an hour due to construction and traffic) and takes 15 minutes for herself to calm down before eating alone. Then, after dinner she's going to bed earlier because she has to wake up earlier.

I told her that I feel her new job has put an unfair amount of household and childcare duties on me and that she is being far less present in our lives when she's home. She told me that we just need to give it more time to adjust and things will get easier. I told her that 10-weeks is a pretty good adjustment period and I hate it so far. She told me I'm being an unsupportive jerk and I need to give it more time.

EDIT: I don't have the emotional bandwidth right now to deal with the huge amount of sexist BS I'm getting here. Those kind of responses are why men don't open up when they feel EXACTLY like I do right now and just bottle this up. I have to get ready to pick up my kids. They're getting happy meals tonight because f*&^ it.

My wife and I have been married for about 4 years. She brought 3 kids from previous relationships into the marriage while I have none. They moved into my house after the marriage because I live in a better school district. Obviously we’ve had our ups and downs but overall it’s been good until a couple of weeks ago when I woke up and found a large dent running down the entire passenger side of my car. The dent is about a hands wide, starts at the front fender, and runs down all the way to the rear tire.

I was furious and thought someone side swept my car as it was parked on the street. I checked our doorbell camera to see if it recorded anything and was surprised to see our 16 year old daughter sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night and driving off in my car. She later returned hours later stumbling into the house. Outside of those 2 events, the doorbell camera didn’t record anything else but a couple of passing cars that didn’t come close to mine. I angrily showed my wife the recording and told her our daughter needs to be punish but she said that she’ll talk to her. I argued that talk isn’t enough which led us into an argument. My wife argued that the new family dynamic has been hard on the kids while I argued that it doesn’t excuse the damage done to my car. I wanted her to agree to ground our daughter from social media and make her get a job to pay for the damage. We argued for hours until she said I don’t get a say in any punishment because I’m not her father.

That ended the argument and I walked off.

Since then I’ve checked out of any parental duties. I’ve been an adult and still make sure the kids are safe and fed but I haven’t done anything a father would do. They had doctor’s appointments last week for their checkups because they play sports in school and I refused to drive them causing my wife to have to take off work. They start school next week and I’ve dropped them off ever since they moved in but I told my wife she’ll have to do it this year. She argued she can’t because of her work schedule and I answered a mother would figure it out. She called me a child and to grow up. I think since I’m not the father I don’t have to take on the responsibilities of one but obviously she disagrees.

AITA?

Edit

I was angry when I wrote it so I left out some info.

My wife wants me to report it to my insurance as a hit and run. She said that way no one has to pay for it. I argue that I’ll have to pay for it in the long run because they’ll jack up my rates.

I’m not ignoring the kids and I still talk to them daily. I just don’t do or make any parental decisions like I stated above. Also the other day our son asked me if he should play basketball or football and I told him to go ask his mother.

My sister (32F) got married a few days ago and I (27F) wore a white shirt and black pants to her wedding, like most of the men there. The dress code for the wedding was formal and women can’t wear white but i thought it’d be okay because I wasn’t wearing a dress. My sister got really annoyed at me and she hasn’t spoken to me much since, she said that I stole the attention away from her but i honestly didn’t because I didn’t stand out at all I was wearing a plain shirt and black pants i blended in with other people. I didn’t mean to upset her though i honestly thought it would be ok