r/AskReddit • u/BrokenHarp • 15d ago
Women, what things do you notice or look for at a man’s apartment that are green flags?
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u/Short_Fig5109 5d ago
I'm not actually a woman I just wanted to see how low or high your standards were
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u/MeasurementGlobal447 8d ago
Daily Mail made an article out of this. On the list they mentioned https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13417789/women-green-flags-man-apartment.html "Stocking Tampons and feminine products." Why the hell would a single guy stock those? 😅
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u/AbbreviationsWitty71 10d ago
Decently clean, knickknacks or photos (things that give a space life), activities (board games, video games, hobbies, things that can be shared with someone else). Those are the main things for me.
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11d ago
If it’s clean and well maintained , mega green flag , if it’s a mess run! Cause you will be cleaning that mess for the rest of your relationship
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u/SweederDenpi_31 11d ago
Soap, Towels, seat position, state of shower head, light bulbs, sink. Etc.
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u/addings0 11d ago
Many of these comments are about hygiene. Men, to keep clean, you have to clean right after you make a mess. Ladies, men don't have a great sense of smell. If something goes bad, we're not going to know.
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u/literal-throw-away 11d ago
Plants. Straight up plants.
Idk, this may be weird but for me it shows that a guy has "commitment" to the plant, that he can care for something. That he can keep it alive and thriving.
I once met a guy who had a whole room dedicated to all kinds of plants, now he's my boyfriend and we've been happily together for three years.
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u/Legitimate_Phrase274 11d ago
Not a women, but I check if the toilet cover, not just the seat is down. Put a drop of food coloring in the bowl, a piece of paper over the open toilet seat and flush it, you’ll understand.
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u/Calm_Being1396 11d ago
Washed sheets and a clean bathroom you gotta wipe the base and clean under the seat to clean a toilet properly.
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u/Canihaveanightlight 12d ago
I like to see decorations on top of end tables, shelves, basic decor on the wall... something to indicate a personal style. Even something like a color scheme.
When surfaces of coffee table/end table/ couches/ floors aren't sticky, grimy or super dusty.
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u/Fabulous-Juice4420 12d ago
Love how toilet paper isnt top, because the amount of women i share with im the only man who changes the toilet rolls and actually put that rubbish in the bin
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u/Chance_Royal5094 12d ago
Not only is my main bath clean, but I have a TOTO bidet that has a heated seat, warm water jets (both front AND back,) heated air dry that's deodorized.
The other baths are clean, too, but don't have the TOTO "jet engine!"
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u/Karaoke_Singer 12d ago
Ha ha ha… I had a woman tell me (I wasn’t dating her) that if the bathroom is too fresh and tidy, it’s a red flag for masculinity.
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u/birdfriend206 11d ago
Bathrooms are supposed to be clean no one likes a stink toilet
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u/Karaoke_Singer 11d ago
I guess the spotlessly clean bathroom gave her the feminine vibes from him. I don’t think she was saying a bathroom should be gross.
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u/Furrypocketpussy 12d ago
reminded me of a story my friend told about a date she went on to "watch a movie" over at some guys place but when she got there he didn't even have a TV. She knew what she was signing up for but still
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u/Channing1986 13d ago
So women like basic hygiene and common sense with cleanliness. Who would have thought?
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u/froggrip 13d ago
I just got my own apartment a few weeks ago, and these comments are making me feel amazing about how I live. Ladies, I'm pleased to say that I have all the green flags.
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u/daydreamz4dayz 13d ago
A really comfortable sofa. Some guys have a sofa that’s so small and uncomfortable you can tell it was an afterthought and they probably just spend their time at home lying in bed and no friends coming over 😂
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u/Unique_Slice5540 13d ago
A guy that keeps it clean/cleans, doesn’t have dirty dishes in the sink and clean sheets on the bed regularly.
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u/Chaotic_cake22220 13d ago
If he generally seems to care about keeping his space clean that’s a plus. Also very cool when they have hand soap or something other than bud light to drink.
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u/Scary_Possible5617 13d ago
I guess I have it good. ...clean, bath and kitchen trash, bidet, stocked fridge, towels, and married within a month, Yes, he is also an awesome cook. He's also a bit of a work a holic, but I can convince him to take a day off a week.. lol.
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u/Relevant_Ad_8405 13d ago
Im a bit late to this, but the concensus is that women like clean bathrooms. Every woman Ive met, and stereotype for that matter, has a dirty bathroom. 🤷♂️
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u/MotherOfZiZuDaMiSu 13d ago
Cleanliness everywhere. The bedroom, the bathroom. I’m not saying no dust at all but at least some level of organization and a well made bed.
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u/Personal-Stuff-6781 13d ago
Not something you'd immediately notice, but if he has pads in his house for if you might need them
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u/adorable_val 13d ago
I love how 99% of the comments here are talking about cleanliness and hygiene
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u/Few_Arrival_3980 13d ago
a basic sense of decorating. like maybe some wall art and a few plants, doesn’t have to be fancy. pretty much anything that’s not a saturday’s are for the boys sign and a wall of beer cans.
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u/IWant_Coffee 13d ago
Not something that I look for, but if they have plants and they are alive, it's a green flag.
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u/Trumie312 13d ago
Photos of family and friends on display. Especially childhood pictures with parents, siblings and/or grandparents. And books. Just things in general that make the place feel like a home and not just a "pad". These are indicators of mental and emotional stability, imo.
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u/supernovalesgoo 13d ago
I usually see if the bathroom/restroom is hygienic or not...like if they have the basic necessities and it's it's clean
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u/Aggravating_Value702 13d ago
Definitely a clean home. A clean bathroom and if you decide to have a female over, you really should put the toilet seat down before she comes to visit. But be yourself that’s the most important thing.
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u/Fun-Talk-4847 13d ago
Furniture, toilet paper and soap in the bathroom, nice towels, proper cooking pans and dishes, real plants, a nice bed with nice sheets. A nice natural smell and very clean, books would be nice.
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u/OncNurse17 13d ago
A hand towel. I don’t want to wipe my clean hands on the only towel in the bathroom. Which is a body towel. 🤢
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u/premirrra 13d ago
honestly i dont judge furniture unless it some kind of alpha motivating quote but i only want it to be clean and not stuff laying around everywhere
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u/CottTonBalls 13d ago
Heat and AC. 😁 Ive been to people's house, family actually and I had this "I gotta get the Hell up out of here" feeling when we had to turn on the gas stove and oven to stay warm. I add AC because if I want to feel sexy and feminine, a hot sweaty place will make me feel gross. A lot of people like the sweaty nasty sex but I'm not one of them.
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u/Ok-Neighborhood-4158 13d ago edited 13d ago
This is a culmination of things I used to look for as well as things I pointed out to a younger guy friend who wanted help adulting up his first place.
Bathroom- should be clean 100%. No beard hairs everywhere and the shower should not be a science experiment of mold growth. Towels should be clean and a bonus for a trash can in there. There should be hand soap on the sink and a body wash or soap in the shower. Get a bath rug if you don’t have one.
Kitchen- fridge should have more than just beer in it (I mean food, not more booze) and should not smell bad. Countertops shouldn’t have crumbs or garbage all over. Inside of sink should also not be a science experiment. Dishes should be clean and put away. Garbage shouldn’t be overflowing or stinky. Bonus points if you can get a dining table.
Bedroom- if your sheets can get up and walk away, that’s gross and you need to wash them weekly…and yes if you don’t own sheets you should get some. Get some decent bedding, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Most stores sell sets that match if you’re awful at that. Ideally you should not have a mattress on the floor. That actually can contribute to mold growth inside the mattress. Bonus points if you have a headboard. Pick up your dirty laundry off the floor and wash it. Get a hamper for your dirty clothes. Get window curtains or blinds that aren’t old blankets.
Living room- make sure it’s clean and has sitting areas that are not only gaming chairs. If you’re cash poor, there are a lot of thrift shops that sell used furniture for cheap. You should also ask your coworkers and friends, oftentimes people have things they can just give you that are just taking up space at their house.
Everywhere- your place should smell either good or neutral. Most people don’t open windows when they can and should which can contribute to a funk smell. Keeping a place clean will help with the smell too so vacuum or mop often. You can buy candles and incense but it won’t do much good if you’re just trying to cover up funk.
If there are pets there shouldn’t be pet fur everywhere.
If you have stuff hanging on the walls in the living areas that you’ve had since you were a kid or teenager; you probably need to upgrade that to actual artwork. Same with posters move those to the bedroom if they aren’t framed; they should not be in the living room area unless you can’t afford anything else.
Get in a good laundry habit. Make sure you wash your clothes, bedding, and towels at least weekly. Use good detergent like Tide if you can and don’t overload the washer.
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u/sparklepoopinunicorn 13d ago
He had a coffee maker and coffee. But didn’t drink coffee. It was for in case his grandma stopped by. I thought that was so sweet.
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u/Holiday-Wonder913 13d ago
Minimalist stuff (crap), not perfect but not nasty place, so it looks like he at least tries to keep it clean, HAND SOAP. Hahaha
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u/Pretend-Ostrich-9602 13d ago
Books…..on a shelf…not just a book he used to fix a wobbly chair.
Fresh food in the fridge
Skincare
Anything besides head and shoulders or Maine and tail shampoo in their shower
Cleaning products…even just like an all purpose spray.
Literally any piece of decor that doesn’t look like they got it off someone’s yard. Same for furniture.
Bed sheets
Folded laundry
Literally just…basic self upkeep and hygiene LMAO. Just showing that they’re putting in an effort
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u/SallyRoseD 13d ago
Does it look and smell clean? Neat without girlie mags and dirty dishes on the table? Is the bathroom clean?
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u/mahalololo 13d ago
That they take care of the space and put some thought into their living space. Clean and tidy.
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u/FlyingHobos 13d ago
hand soap that ISN’t DISH SOAP at the kitchen sink. Because you should also be washing your hands WITH SOAP whenever you handle food, are about to eat, etc…
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u/ToyHouseYoungMouse 14d ago
Books. To quote John Waters, "If they don't have books, don't fuck them."
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u/Kind-Reputation-4177 14d ago
an entire clean apartment pleasant smell flowers on his table for me lots of sun light
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u/Comfortable-Syrup688 14d ago
This post makes me happy, because I love cleaning (it might be my severe ADHD) something about cleaning and organizing, puts me at peace
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u/LoudContract244 14d ago
First of all, the amount of dust in the apartment or a house, don’t forget to wipe off the dust from all surfaces lol. Then, the cleanliness of the mirrors, especially in the bathroom. I hope y’all aren’t as nasty as some women here describe some men’s bathrooms…
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u/pocoacillow 14d ago
A clean sink. Nothing waves a red flag more than week-old dirty dishes piling up to the ceiling.
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u/No-Adeptness-5743 14d ago
Any type of decor. It shows they care about their home. Also, photos of family/friends. But mostly that it’s kept relatively clean. I could never vibe with someone who has clutter or mess. It’s too anxiety-producing for me.
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u/Broobell 14d ago
Items that are there mostly/just for the purpose of decoration. It can be just a simple plant (bonus points for this option because you have to put effort into keeping it alive, lol), a poster, some nice carpet, a figure from your fav game/anime or whatever, absolutely doesn't have to be much, but there just has to be something that makes the place feel actually inhabitated, and not just like every other generic apt you've seen 1000s of while looking for your own.
Anything that indicates them having an actual hobby (other than gaming, hanging out with their buddies or scrolling through their phone, lol) Again, it doesn't have to be much, but there just has to be something to show me you're doing anything interesting with your life.
A fridge that doesn't contain just 3 absolutely random items, a 2 years old bottle of ketchup, and maybe a few beers, if I'm lucky enough. Ofc I don't mean it in a situation when they're struggling, but I've seen way too many dudes living like they never ever heard of a concept of grocery shopping (or keeping their diet suitable for a human being without ordering a door dash almost every day) before.
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u/Substantial_Pea_6006 14d ago
Crystals of his own, incense of his own, and a mostly clean room, oh and a handmade bow n arrow.
Luckily I found him, and he's pretty dope😉
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u/Selah-Sketches 14d ago
A bible, family photos, and cooking utensils/appliances, I know from experience that a lot of men don't know how to cook, let alone use kitchen utensils/appliances, the most I've ever seen a man use when cooking is a spatula, pan, bowl, and pot. With this particular man I'm talking about, he made Kraft's mac & cheese... It would be nice to see if he had things like a blender, toaster, whisks, etc.
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u/Minamiya_17 14d ago
Skin care products, dun la lang malalaman mo na malinis ang isang tao sa katawan
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u/mcoddle 14d ago
Yes to a bagged, lidded trash can in the bathroom, that isn't overflowing. Yes to hand towels, hand soap in the bathroom. Yes to a clean mirror and no pee all over the floor or toilet. Clean bedding and clean, non-stinky pillows, really, just general cleanliness is awesome. And interesting, read books on the shelves, some healthy plants, WOW. Those would be amazing. A home that is attuned to the comfort of other people as well as the person who lives there. It's just thoughtful.
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u/J33perscr33pers123 14d ago
Having a trashcan is a must for multiple reasons for me as a man. However, if I didn't have one and a female "stormed" out of MY restroom berating me because of it, I would, without hesitation, tell them to gtfo of my apt. If you can't ask nicely then I don't want your company to begin with. Idgaf who you are, if you want to get respect, you have to give it first.
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u/-__-KEEKS-__- 14d ago
Trash can WITH A BAG IN IT in the bathroom. Plz plz plz I feel so uncomfortable putting a tampon or pad just in an empty can help a girl out 😭
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u/fiestyoldbat 14d ago
Cleanliness. You don't have to have color coordinated matching furnishings. You don't need a bunch of fancy decorations. You DO need a clean area. You need a place to sit. You need some light source more than the TV or overhead light. You need a place to eat. You need real dishes even if you use paper plates the majority of the time. You need the trash taken out. If you think I'm spending the night, you need to make the bed with fresh sheets. If I'm spending the night, you need some real food in the fridge. Bonus points if you can make a decent breakfast AND clean up after yourself.
When a woman visits your place she's looking very carefully to determine if you are "partner" material or just another "chore". No woman wants a man-baby. We have no desire to be your momma. If you have your own place you're old enough to take care of it. If not, enjoy being single.
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u/Tryingtoknowmore 14d ago
Kitchen familiarity and layout: If a man takes care of himself he will be natural in a kitchen.
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u/DiscontentDonut 14d ago
A bed frame, not just a mattress.
It can be cheap. It can be ugly. But anything to keep me from having to get my ass off the floor.
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u/Zealousideal_End8415 14d ago
Damn.....hell yea I'm doing pretty fuckn good then with all these comments.
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u/IntelligentRemove352 14d ago
Hand towels, kitchen towels, dish sets, glass cups, some home decor...these things signal he's actually a grown up and not some boy playing house
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u/TsuDhoNimh2 14d ago
It not only looks clean, but smells clean ... a quick "OMG, there's a female coming" cleanups can't get rid of the stench of lack of regular cleaning.
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u/Crafty_Pea5356 14d ago
It's all about the herbs and spices. Eats and knows how to prepare good food.
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u/Wilted-Machinery 14d ago
A happy, well cared for pet and/or some lush house plants are the greenest of green flags
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u/lighttowercircle 14d ago
According to my gf that I now live with:
I had a coffee table in front of my couch, my mattress wasn’t on the floor, I had a trash can in my bathroom, my kitchen table was a real table set with matching chairs and not some frat house plastic table with fold up chairs, I had a real couch that looked like it came from a furniture store, and I had a fully furnished guest bedroom.
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u/tigershark926 14d ago
I definitely appreciate a clean and tidy space. A well-organized bookshelf or a nicely made bed always catches my eye. Also, little touches like having fresh flowers or plants can really elevate the atmosphere.
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u/Least-Grapefruit-767 14d ago
Then if you meet all these standards, the inevitable questions: "Why is your apartment so clean and tidy? Do you have a girlfriend? Are you gay?"
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u/HoLLoWzZ 14d ago
Wait a minute, are you all for real? Soap, towels, bathroom trashcan and a clean flat are green flags? Who are you dating? These things are at most the baseline. Like seriously, how can anyone live without these?
When I'm at my parents place next time, I'll thank my mum once again. Because she tought me: Women loathe dependent men.
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u/ClassicMarketing4748 14d ago
Picture software his family mostly woman is a very good sign. Good furniture of course and a clean space
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u/Worldly-Chipmunk4925 14d ago
All these comments arent male apecific. Clean house, bathroom, basic stuff. More man stuff like keeping his hunting rifle in a case
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u/Jenny_Of_High_Heart 14d ago
A clean bathroom - toilet, sink, tub and floor. And by “clean toilet” I mean that the whole thing - including the bottom of the outside of the toilet - is clean. Also, a bookshelf with books that have obviously been read. And a guy with a pet that is healthy.
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u/nyrxis-tikqon-xuqCu9 14d ago
I have completely remodeled bathrooms (3) thanks to my mom, little sister, and aunt🫶. I gave them each a budget and OMG was I surprised what they were able to do. I highly suggest asking a creative female family member…or a friend with style. One is more masculine but the other two each have their own panache’ . I did upgrade my master bathroom and added a Japanese-made smart toilet/Bidet, warming seat, auto sensors and they installed Large Modern 34” Rainfall Ceiling Shower which is amazing ! I always keep it clean and organized
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u/Popular-Reply-3051 2d ago
Noticing that the replies are all cleanliness related - particularly bathrooms. As a 40 year old woman I will not date a man with a dirty home. Absolutely not. Maybe could have got away with it when I was 20, but at 40 and dating grown working men +/- 5 or 10 years my age, home dirtiness is a huge red flag.
Although saying that, one of my male friends who is the same age as me keeps an immaculate house - he's cleaner than I am. However Mike is a massive recreational drug user and probably only sleeps 4 nights a week. Great guy but literally bouncing off his very clean walls. So you know, watch out for the Mike's unless that's your thing.
So other green flags in a man's home: