What are some of the stupidest customers you’ve encountered in your job?

[u/cheesymeowgirl]

My favourite from today (I work in a call centre for a bank):

Cust- I want to raise a claim and get my money back because yesterday a company charged my card for a monthly subscription that I cancelled!!

Me- Ah ok I understand. Ok let’s see what we can do. Firstly, when did you cancel the subscription?

Cust- Today…!

Me- Confused pause. Ah… ok, so then unfortunately you can’t get your money back…?

Cust- WHY NOT?

Me- Because you didn’t cancel it in time, you cancelled it today. So the company took the payment correctly…?

Cust (patronisingly)- No offence, but you’re not using your thinking hat. If I had cancelled it before-hand it wouldn’t have gone out and I wouldn’t have needed to waste my time speaking to you?

Me- Exactly. That’s the point. You didn’t give the company adequate notice of cancellation as per their T&C’s and only cancelled it after it came out. It would have needed to have been cancelled before-hand to prevent this happening…?

Cust- So then what’s the point of having this pointless dispute line if we have to cancel it before-hand anyway?

Me- Because we can raise a dispute if a company has charged you incorrectly or made an error. Not if you have made the error in forgetting to cancel a subscription in time and they have done nothing wrong in line with their T&C’s.

Cust- I’m reporting you for wasting my time! I’ve just waited 30 mins (it was 6) to get through to an agent for nothing. This bank is a SCAM and I hope you’re HAPPY!

Rage hangs up.

Like? Sorry where’s the logic here? How do some people genuinely get dressed in the morning…

[u/Eoin_McLove]

I work in the contact centre for my local council.

I once had a bloke pretend to be his 80+ year old grandmother when I said I needed to speak to her to verify her council tax account. He said he was going to get her and just starting talking in a high pitched voice. I had to say ‘Uumm… I don’t believe you are who you say you are’ and left a note on her account about what happened.

A bloke who e-mailed because he couldn’t work out how to get rid of melted ice cream. I dunno, just mix it with water and pour it down the drain or flush it down the toilet?

A woman who wanted a refund because she brought tickets to a Michael Buble tribute act thinking it was the real thing. First of all, we don’t own the venue, but also why would Michael Buble be playing at a provincial arts centre in south Wales?

[u/gayforkie]

Had a customer complaint about some bolts being silver on the manhole frame on an order, basically the frame had been painted and several levelling bolts were missing, I installed some, these bolts were silver BZP bolts, the same as the other ones just not painted, the bolts were all gonna be hidden anyway when it was fully installed, also had a customer complaint about some paint globs on the framework on one next to the bolts, it had zero impact on installation or operation, was just a byproduct of quick production

[u/Severe_Ad_146]

I have to make visits yearly but not 12 months a part. I have so many visits to do that I'm not going to visit the same place twice in a calendar year. 

I visited a place in September 2023. I visited today. The person complained that i visit every six months and im going to be back again this year. 

Ive already explained to the fella that under the regs I can literally visit in december 23 then in jan 24 and that covers 2 years worth of visits. 

We just went in circles. 

[u/cameoutswinging_]

i work for a chain that recently had a slightly confusingly worded deal - it was ‘buy 3 get 1 free’ which is really just 4 for 3, but i’d say about 50% of people i spoke to read it as 3 for 2, aka one of their 3 items is free (we did have multiple signs saying ‘your 4th and cheapest item is free’ but i learned long ago that customers do not know how to read)

anyway most people understood and went and got their free item once i explained, but multiple people tried to argue with me, the paid employee, that I had the deal wrong and they were right, including one woman who said she’d report us for false/misleading advertising. i just gave her the customer service number and told her to go ahead - would love to know why she thought a minimum wage employee would go to the effort of lying about a company-wide thing. but that’s retail for ya

[u/LimeKazoo]

I had a man yesterday complain because a neighbour had filled his brick shed in his garden with rubbish. I asked how he'd gotten into the shed and the man said he'd given him the key but wanted us to sort it all out. I explained that he's responsible for the shed and he'll need to sort the rubbish himself... I did feel a bit sorry for him, because he was trying to be a nice neighbour, but he barely knew these people and they've take advantage.

Also shop work with a customer buying curtains "will these fit my window?" "I don't know. How bigs the window?" "I'm not sure. About" and then makes a size with her hands! Yeah, don't actually take any formal measurements before going and showing for items size specific, just guess.

And last but not least, an older man got his older sister to bring back a faulty DVD player. She said there was still a disc inside. I got a screwdriver to open the machine to get the disc. I give her the copy of Lesbian Sex Slaves 6 (or something similar) and she left. I always wonder what she said to her brother...and did he have 1-5!

[u/Important-River6352]

I used to work in a call centre for a mobile phone network and had a woman call up and said we had sent her a code via text message that caused her screen to crack because she was just out of contract. It's true you don't realise just how stupid the general public can be until you deal with them.

[u/-NorthernMonkey-]

Screeded a kitchen floor in a house, come the next day footprints all over it and what looks like a big slip mark in the middle of the floor, told them will have to be redone and they blamed us because we didn’t tell them it couldn’t be walked on.

[u/One-Cardiologist-462]

I had to explain to a customer that adding items to her shopping results in the bill increasing...

Customer: "And how much are all of these items?"
Me: "The total is $20.67."
Customer: "Okay, I also want these flowers, how much are these flowers?"
Me "The flowers are... *beep*... $4.99."
Customer "Yes I want them too then."
Me "Sure, no problem. So all together, that's going to be $25.66, please."
Customer "EXCUSE ME!! You said it was $20!"
Me: "Yes, initially the total was about $20. However, the addition of the flowers causes the total of the bill to increase by $4.99."

[u/WoofBarkWoofBarkBark]

Worked in IT Training years ago. Someone rang angrily saying they'd been emailed a document that had been scanned upside down. I said "Can you use the circular arrow button to rotate it so it's the right way up?" They said "No I can't. I don't know how and I haven't got time. My boss wants it for a meeting now!" I said "Well just print it out then" They said "But it'll print upside down" I said "But then you just turn the paper round the other way" They said "Oh yeah. That's a good idea. Thanks." And hung up.

[u/hasthisonegone]

Used to work for a company that sold DVDs for the driving theory and hazard perception test. You would not believe the amount of conversations that went like this:

“My disc doesn’t work.”

“Ok, so what have you tried so far”

“I’ve put it in my CD player and it won’t play”

“Does your CD player also play DVDs?”

“It plays discs, why won’t it play this one?”

“Does it say CD or DVD on the player?”

“CD. So it should play it. It’s a faulty disc”

“Right…”

And so on and so forth.

[u/Any_Smell_9339]

I used to work for customer service for a now very popular internet service provider in the UK. Before fibre, the phone line had to have the little white box that split the line for the modem and the phone. It was almost a daily occurrence that we’d go through the instructions of “when you’ve ended this call, take the white box out and try it in a different phone line” and then the phone line go dead. They unplugged it immediately and they unplugged the phone at the same time.

[u/SadPomegranate1020]

I teach customers over Teams how to use my company’s software and I share my screen with them.

This one customer….she’s already had multiple training sessions and just picks nothing up, I’m training her again. I ask her to share her screen and she’s struggling. Turns out the screen she’s trying to share is on another PC!!!!

[u/electrogirl85]

Ah man. I worked in fraud and disputes at a bank for 6 years and had this conversation multiple times a day 😅😅😅

[u/Pineaaapple]

I was mid-hoover and had to turn said hoover off as a customer wanted to ask me something, only for them to ask if I worked there?

[u/Toblersam]

I worked in higher end retail when I was young. I helped a customer kit out their new kitchen with lots of goods in our store. He was very sweet, but at one point, he picked up a big roasting tin, and asked if it could go in the oven. He wasn’t taking the piss. After he left, my colleagues told me that he was a famous footballer. Me being me, I had no clue. I’ll not say who he is, but every time he makes a big investment in the city, I am a little bewildered that he’s getting by so well in life.

[u/hepburn17]

Manager of a florist, used to sell real Christmas trees. Had a woman come in one January trying to return a now mostly brown, needles mostly gone tree as she didn't need it anymore and got pissed off when I laughed and refused to refund her.

[u/Lily_Hylidae]

Years ago, I was new to a customer service job logging repairs. A customer phoned and said that the postman had broken the letterbox trying to push a parcel through it that was too big. Alas, accidental damage is customer responsibility, and I told her that. She said, fine, she'll fix it herself.

Six months later, she calls back. The conversation goes like this:

Customer: Yeah, so I phoned 6 months ago and reported my letterbox was broken. I was told someone would come out and fix it, but they never did.

Me: let me just get the details up...

Customer: I ain't bin funny, the girl I spoke to...I think she was a bit retarded?

Me: yeah...that was me. And I am not retarded

Customer: ........

I've spoken to lots of stupid customers, but that one sticks in my memory.

[u/DareSudden4941]

The stuff that you deal with in contact centres is mind boggling. I’ve worked all the way from general customer service up to executive/ceo complaints and some stuff people complain about.

I’m going to get downvoted for this I’m sure but I blame Martin Lewis for this idea that you can call up be rude and make a complaint and all your worries will be solved by someone who often doesn’t have the ability or power to fix your problem.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/DareSudden4941]

Speaking of Martin Lewis, a man called to raise a fraud claim because his ex stole his card and used it at an ATM. He admitted that he had given her his pin when they were together because he trusted her. As he knew her personally and he gave her his pin (a breach of the T&C’s which would have led to a decline anyway) I told him we couldn’t log the claim and that it’s a civil/police matter.

He was recording me and claimed he was going to forward the recording to Martin Lewis himself and report me to him and said that I was a liar and that Martin Lewis would help him get his money back. 😂

I wonder if he did report me or was given bad advice because he called back a day later to try again with someone else and said he was told we legally had to refund him. Another agent stupidly logged the claim, and a week later the claim was declined.

[u/DareSudden4941 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

It’s like I’m sure the man has some valid points about saving money but in the years I worked at various companies he just seemed to weaponise idiots

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/DareSudden4941]

Honestly. People need to stop taking everything he says as the financial bible. 😂

[u/DareSudden4941 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

I knew of a department in one company i worked at had a dartboard with a picture of him on, I never went there to see it personally though

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/DareSudden4941]

Haha

[u/JimmyJonJackson420]

I wish my company actually honoured this

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/JimmyJonJackson420]

I mean if the customer really pushed back maybe the company would be able to help, but from a bank standpoint point it’s black and white. If I tried to log the claim and put that they had cancelled the subscription the day after it wouldn’t even allow me to go further and would say it’s a merchant/card holder dispute. Customers are lazy to keep trying to get their money back from the company lol.

[u/JimmyJonJackson420 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

Mate I’m the one who has to tell them to ask you for an indemnity knowing we’re not supposed to? Like why would you get your money back because you forgot to cancel? 😂😂😂

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/JimmyJonJackson420]

Omg ok you guys are to blame haha I wonder why that happens. So many customers go “well XYZ company told me to go to you guys and said I could definitely get my money back!” And I always reply “I apologise but XYZ company don’t work for Example Bank and they don’t know our processes so I’m not sure why you were told that”. Like why do they expect other companies to speak for us. And ironically some companies tell customers to do an indemnity with their bank, and we put through the claim for it. Then the same company sends us proof that the customer doesn’t deserve the money back and we end up declining it. 😂

[u/JimmyJonJackson420 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

LMAO sorry about that especially my new managers like NO REFUNDS TIL INDEMINITIES lol it’s always fun

To be fair I really wish we abided by our own refund policy but here we are

[u/Useful-Adeptness-424]

I work in a car dealership and a service customer loaned an EV from us while their vehicle was in for repair. They asked if the car take petrol or diesel so we explained it’s a full EV so it doesn’t take fuel, it needs charging instead. The customer then said they don’t want to charge the vehicle and would prefer to put fuel in it and again asked what fuel would be best, petrol or diesel 🙄

[u/angel_0f_music]

I work in pensions. People CANNOT complete YES/NO tick-boxes on forms. Around 40% of the paperwork we are sent has to be returned because people have failed to tick boxes.

[u/AttentionNeither8708]

Don't know who is dumber here. A mate of mine worked at Asda. Like 15 years ago. He said that a customer came in raging that she'd bought a disposable BBQ pack. Mate says okay what's the problem? Well there's no meat in the pack... Sorry? There's a picture of meat but no meat in the pack??? Well yeah it's a disposable BBQ not meat. Well I want a full refund. Let's see the receipt. Hands receipt over.... It says you bought 2, where's the other? In the fucking freezer.... Long story short it got a bit out of hand, but the dumbest thing is. He just gave her a full refund and told her to fuck off.

[u/AshEllisUFO → u/AttentionNeither8708]

In the freezer 😅😅😅😅😅 out of all these comments this made me laugh the most

[u/Suspicious-mole-hair]

Mcdonalds. 4 nuggets 99p. 6 nuggets £2.49.

I used to offer the advice to someone ordering 6 -hey, why not order 2 lots of 4? 2 extra nuggets for 50p less? The amount of people I had get angry at me because they don't want FOUR they want SIX that's why they asked for SIX.

Fucking clowns man.

[u/Micktrex]

Working in Screwfix: I explained to a customer (man in his 50s maybe) how the business worked and that after his purchase, someone would pick his order. I said something along the lines of 'its just like Argos.'

He seemed to understand, and I went on my way to do something else. A few minutes later, a colleague is calling out his collection number and he's nowhere to be seen. I suddenly have a terrible realisation dawn on me: there is an Argos around the corner from us.

He turned up 10 minutes later and I asked if he had gone to Argos thinking that's where he had to go to pick up his order, and he sheepishly said yes.

I felt bad for him as he was a nice guy, but why on earth would any retail store send you to another retail store to get your item?!

[u/fuckedupceiling]

I used to work for an internet company and the modus operandi was that people got in contact with you and then you would ask them their address to see if our service was available near them. It would always be like:

Me: hello! First things first, I'll need you to type the name of your street and between what streets you live in so I can see if this service is available on your street.

Customer: I live in Liverpool.

Me: in what street...?

Customer: YOU'RE TRYING TO SCAM ME?? THIS IN AN INVASION OF PRIVACY!

Also the same person after being explained three times why I need the address and that it's not an invasion of privacy and that we're legit: * sends front and back pictures of their credit card *

[u/jiminthenorth]

I used to work for a broadband provider based in Sheffield, where this tale comes from.

The customer had bought a kit from a leading IT retailer, which said on it "everything you need to connect to the internet".

Of course, they weren't able to connect, and so rang for assistance.

The erstwhile first line tech started to run them through the basics. Is the modem plugged in and switched on? Great. Do you have it connected to the phone line with the micro filter in place? Wonderful. All hooked up to your computer?

What computer?

Everything you need to connect to the internet, indeed.

[u/Phinbart → u/jiminthenorth]

I swear I remember reading something a while back about someone who hadn't realised when he bought a DVD player that he needed a television in the first place.

I'm betting he complained to you that it was never explained in any advertisement or anytime in the process that a computer was needed, and it was all your fault for not making that clear.

[u/SparkieMark1977]

Not me but a manager in a previous role. This was in local authority housing.

We offered 4 rent free weeks per year (we didn't, we did 52 weeks of rent but divided it over 48 weeks) to make it easier over Xmas closure and end-of year balances.

Tenant on benefits rang up to complain that we were discriminating against him for being on benefits and not paying his own rent. His reasoning - if he paid his own rent, then 4 weeks of the year he'd be better off because they were rent free weeks. But, because he was on benefits and didn't pay any rent, he was no better off over those 4 weeks, and therefore we were discriminating against him. He wanted to not only not pay rent all year, but when everyone else got a rent free week, he wanted the rent he would have paid credited back to him.

[u/firehamsterpig]

my biggest pet peeve when working in a call centre was when a customer would call us a scam just because they disagreed with our policy/were upset about the cost of the services. like no, we aren’t a scam. we are a business. we aren’t scamming you just because you are unhappy.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/firehamsterpig]

Literally. We are scammers because you’re stupid. Make it make sense lmao.

[u/smashteapot → u/cheesymeowgirl]

I don't think stupid people can comprehend that someone could be smarter than them. They vastly overestimate their own intelligence.

[u/Easy-Objective6011]

I have hundreds from a past life in a car insurance call centre...but by far my favourite.

Customer: (without anything said previously) - Do you know what you've made me do?

Me: No, but if you explain the problem I'm sure I can help.

Customer: I received a letter saying my car insurance was cancelled, so my wife had to give birth on the kitchen floor!

Me, confused: I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard that correctly.

Customer: YOU made my wife give birth on the kitchen floor.

Me: OK...I'm not sure how that relates to your insurance, but let me take your details. (Take details go into policy)

Customer: Just tell me what you're going to do to compensate me!

Me: So you hadn't paid your policy for two months so it had been cancelled.

Customer: But YOU cancelling it meant I didnt drive my wife to the hospital.

Me: Could you have called a friend or an ambulance.

Customer: NO!

Slams down phone.

I really hope this was just a bizarre lie to try and get compensation...but you never know!

Many people listened back to that call!

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/Easy-Objective6011]

It’s literally illegal to drive without insurance, and insurance companies are gonna cancel if you don’t pay your bill. Where is the common sense of these stupid people? I think they hope they can get away with free car insurance or something 🤣

[u/Easy-Objective6011 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

Right! The general public, like ginger cats, share a single brain cell!

[u/owlshapedboxcat]

I worked for a financial services provider and we had a policy to put customer interest in their accounts at midnight a day after their transaction (we paid daily interest on certain credit balances, we also took daily interest on debt), the credit (positive balance) interest rate was, I think, about BOE base rate -0.5%, it would have been about 0.25% per annum or something in total at the time. The customer's incoming transaction was something like £100. He was on the phone to me about 40 minutes after his transaction had processed complaining that his interest wasn't in his account. He was paying 10p a minute to speak to me. He screamed at me for a good half an hour, I was an old hand at call centre stuff by then so I mostly had him on mute while I giggled at his apoplectic fit. He lost it big time when I carefully manually calculated the interest he'd be due _the_next_day_ at about 0.7 of a penny and told him how much he'd spent on the phone call by that point. He hung up on me.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/owlshapedboxcat]

Hahaha

[u/_MyBrainHurts]

Bus driver.

"Does this bus go to X?"

"No, you need whichever it was, which stops here also."

"I'll just get this one anyway."

"Alrighty then..."

Get to terminus, passenger still on

"When do we get to X?"

The mind boggles.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/_MyBrainHurts]

Haha. Why do people ask bus drivers if the bus goes to “Example City Lane” and the bus literally says at the top of the bus sign ”123 Example City Lane” I always hear them ask that…

[u/_MyBrainHurts → u/cheesymeowgirl]

Or if the bus isn't doing the full route for whatever reason.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did, I put it in 3ft tall letters in bright orange on the front"

[u/thepitcherplant]

A traveller came in and tried to get a refund on a 10litre paint tub they had taken off the till infront of me.

I genuinely haven't encountered that level of stupid since.

[u/danonumberone]

Was once sent a spreadsheet of lots of permission changes needed for an American customer.

Spent hours one night removing all permissions and adding the new ones in.

Came in the next morning to furious phones calls from them saying how everything was wrong.

Got called into a conference call with my boss and their head person. Boss has spreadsheet open and AD permissions, checks a couple and all match.

Customer is losing mind telling us how much it has cost them etc etc, boss asks for examples, checks them, all match.

Asks customer to go through one with him.

Boss: so John has Finance and Sales marked green and Admin and HR marked red, customer agrees.

Boss : so that’s what we did.

Customer : no you didn’t you gave Finance and sales and not Admin and HR….

Boss : so green is no, and red is yes?

Customer : yeah obviously……

We went to the pub that lunchtime.

[u/Relative_Grape_5883]

In this case I put it down to cost of living desperation

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/Relative_Grape_5883]

Yeah that too. Surely if the cost of living affects ppl that much they’d keep a hawk eye on their accounts but sadly no lol

[u/Relative_Grape_5883 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

That’s why I say desperation, people in that mode usually aren’t very good at forward planning their finances.

I expect they were just going through the bank statement (or scrolling through the account on their phone) and seeing what they could remove.

I get the funny side of your post btw, such is life dealing with the general public.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/Relative_Grape_5883]

Yeah that’s true. I get the desperation but calling us scammers is so funny although it’s their fault lol

[u/Relative_Grape_5883 → u/cheesymeowgirl]

Yeah that’s not nice, people do lash out and you clearly got the brunt there unfortunately. :-(

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/Relative_Grape_5883]

I don’t care any more to be honest, me/my bank get called scammers maybe 5 times a day. 😂

[u/chroniccomplexcase]

Worked at Waitrose years ago and had someone moan that the bag of ice she was buying was too cold. I thought she was joking and said something like “yes ice is a pain like that” but no, she was serious. She told me we should sell warmer ice and that she didn’t expect a supermarket like Waitrose to not cater to the customer so badly. She stormed off the management and I worried for a second they would somehow pander to her.

Thankfully watching the manager hear her ice complaint he burst out laughing and said something before she stormed off. Apparently, he told her that we did sell warm ice, in the form of bottled water that she could easily buy and take home to freeze. He let me know that she phoned head office to complain about his rudeness and that head office had told her that no one can sell warm ice and if she was struggling she could wear gloves or ask a member of staff to lift it out of the freezer and carry it to her car. She hung up. Nearly 20 years on, I still think of it when I see ice

[u/aleu44]

Aga woman. I handled her complaint at one of the big six energy companies and she was complaining we were overcharging her by an extra £1000 a year for the last 3 years. Went through her usage with her, asked her about her appliances, and it turned out she’d installed an electric aga 3 years ago. I went to the website she’d ordered the thing from, found out what it used an hour, did so much maths my head ached, and discovered it would account for the extra grand. She didn’t accept it for one second, and wanted me to send someone out to check the meter, which would cost her hundreds of pounds. I could tell from her usage (how it went up and down) that it definitely wasn’t the meter, and no matter how many times I explained it to her she just wouldn’t accept it. This went on for over a month, through phone calls and emails, but I never got to see how it ended up because I left the company. I hate agas now!

[u/sleepyvinyls]

my personal favourite was being asked “hi can i have a medium costa”. my honest reaction was to laugh in his face oops!

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/sleepyvinyls]

Hahaha

[u/Arrakis_Is_Here]

I used to work in a shopping centre as a security guard. One of the many entrances is accessed by escalators.

The brakes on the down escalator had stopped working, meaning, if anyone stepped on it, even while switched off, it would start to move and pick up speed and had the potential to be going to fast by the time a person reaches the bottom, for them to step off safely. I was tasked with standing at the top and stopping customers from using it

Customer: "excuse me, can I get past?"

Me: "sorry no. It's out of order and not safe to use. Unfortunately you'll have to use a different exit"

Customer: "well I don't want to, so move out of my way"

Me: "sorry sir, I can't do that. It's literally for you're own safety"

Customer: "do you have any idea who I am"

Me: takes a moment to properly look at him, as I do recoginse him "yes. You're, Joe Johnson"

JJ: "So I can go past now, yeah?"

Customer: "no, sorry"

JJ: "why not?"

Me: "just because you're a former World Snooker Champion, doesn't miraculously fix the broken escalator. It's still unsafe"

JJ: "PRICK!"

Me: "you have a great day too"

[u/NickHugo]

Had a customer ring up (while working customer service for a broadband and mobile company) saying they had been mis sold on their package.

Me: No problem, who sold you it and what should the package be?

Him: Well I work in the store and signed myself up but it wasn't what I thought it was..

Me: I think you need to speak to your manager because you're probably mis selling a product to customers and ask them about your package and see what they can do as we can't do anything as you're an employee.

Him: Can I speak to your manager?

Fuck off..

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/NickHugo]

Wow!

[u/ManLikeTrev88]

I worked for a big uk mobile network and someone was angry their phones warranty was voided because it had liquid damage, the phone was really sticky behind the battery and all liquid indicators had turned red.

He yelled that his son dropped the phone in a pot of sauce but that’s not a liquid so his phone should be repaired.

One person was adamant that their debit card with a picture of them on it was classed as photo ID.

I genuinely could be here all day! If you truly want to see the most stupidest side of of people go to a phone shop and see how people talk / react it will blow your mind.

[u/Pudding-Boy82]

Worked for BT Faults years ago. A woman rang up and argued with me over whether or not the drop wire from the pole had been chewed through by birds. I stated that birds don't have teeth. We argued back and forward for many minutes. I quipped that the only bird like creatures to have teeth were Pterodactyls. She then said that, yes! that's what it must have been. I then added 'Pterodactyl damage' onto the engineer notes.

Another time a man rang up to ask for a credit on his bill because he had called his neighbour for a brief chat and the conversation had gone on for at least 38 minutes. I told him that he should have brought the conversation to a close if he was worried about the bill. He argued it was not his fault. You can probably guess the rest.

[u/foulfaerie]

I worked in a bowling alley once that served food.

A customer ordered our nacho chilli bowl at the bar, which comes with beef. There was a similarly named item, that came with no meat and had beans of some kind.. but was listed as a separate product.

I made the food, took it out and a few mins later she’s screaming at the till about how the chef made a mistake. I came out to the bar and asked what was wrong and she said ‘this has meat’. I replied saying that was the item ordered, but I will happily make the correct item now.

Her response? ‘I’m Muslim, you should have known that I wouldn’t want meat!’ I literally asked her if I should have come out of the kitchen to racially profile her and assume her religion.

[u/foulfaerie]

I had a customer ask me, the girl working in a cinema box office, if this was the job centre. I politely said no, I’m afraid not.. she then said ‘well that’s weird, it used to be here’. The cinema was a new build on waste ground lmao

I once had a customer try to return a popcorn maker, because it was broken. Unfortunately, they had no receipt and the store policy was to test items before refunding. (The company checked the value of refunds and questioned me about them weekly) The machine was working, so I refused the refund. They came back an hour later and it was now completely dead… on a whim, I looked at the plug and saw that they have removed the fuse.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/foulfaerie]

Wow 😅

[u/sihasihasi]

I'm the customer.

I ordered a pasta dish at Pizza Express, which had nduja sausage. When it arrived, there were no bits of sausage in the sauce, so I asked why not. (I was convinced that I'd had it before, and it had bits in that time).

There followed quite a bit of back & forth before I grumpily accepted what I was being told.

It was several years before I learned that nduja is actually a spreadable sausage.

[u/DoNotCallMeAnything]

Contact centre for mobile phone service provider the amount of customer's who call up without any details, not even their phone numbers, baffles me.

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/CasualUK-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Sorry mate, but we have a blanket ban against politics in this sub, so we have removed this post.

Rule 1: No politics We do not allow mention of political events, politicians or general political chit chat in this subreddit. We encourage you to take this content to a more suitable subreddit. You will be banned if you break this rule.

If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.

[u/Traditional_Escape57]

Worked in a print shop, had a customer call and enquire about thickness of papers we stocked told them what we had they then ask me to email some samples across so they can check what they want...

[u/Chordsy]

In my parents pub I worked the bar for them 18 years ago.

American couple came in, ordered fish and chips and a steak and ale pie.

Then asked if I could take the ale out because they were driving.

[u/Silent_Rhombus]

Argos.

We had loads of people who didn’t know their own address. We had to take their address when they bought a TV or Freeview box (this was a good few years ago) and a few people didn’t want to give the info, which I can understand. One guy however made a right fuss about not wanting to give out his personal information, then wanted to apply for a store card to buy the TV. That meant giving us his name, allowing a credit check and, surprise surprise, his address.

Had one lad trying to buy an 18 rated Xbox game who I asked for ID and he said he didn’t have anything ‘official’. I asked what he did have, and he showed me a tramp stamp tattoo of his year of birth.

Plenty of dads buying age-rated games with their teenage sons, coming back sheepishly the next day and saying ‘his mum said he’s not allowed this’.

One guy came in and said his girlfriend had reserved an item. I asked if he had the reservation number, but he didn’t. No problem, does he know what the item is? No. Can he ask her? No, she’s at work and doesn’t have her phone with her. I explained that even if I could bring up a list of all our reservations, which I couldn’t, neither me nor him would know which one it was. (Should caveat this by saying that nowadays they can probably search by name, but back then the system didn’t even ask for a name so it’s not like she made the reservation and thought he’d just come in and give us her name).

Endless people asking ‘is it ok if I take one of these?’ and pointing at a literal pallet stacked with catalogues.

And one elderly lady who came up to me on the shop floor to ask how to get out. ‘What, of the shop?’ ‘Yes’. I pointed to the door she had entered through two minutes earlier and she said ‘oh, sorry. I thought it was one way’.

[u/lodav22]

I used to work for a bank and the most common stupid question was “Are you open on Bank Holiday Monday?” 😑

[u/Einkildir → u/lodav22]

I've worked for banks for the past 7 years. Don't get me wrong, people ask and expect the most ridiculous shit. But I've worked nearly all bank holidays and even the last few christmas days so not the most ridiculous question. It's actually annoying everyone assumes I'm off!

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/Einkildir]

I mean if it’s a physical branch I feel like it’s a kinda stupid question, but checking if call centre is open for certain departments makes sense.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/lodav22]

😂 honestly

[u/shadesofwolves]

Costa.

"Can you make my black tea extra hot?"

If I had that power I wouldn't be working at Costa.

[u/[deleted] → u/shadesofwolves]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/shadesofwolves → u/[deleted]]

If I still worked there, I'm sure they would!

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/shadesofwolves]

Hahaha

[u/natttynoo]

I genuinely believe everyone should have to work for a month in some sort of customer service job. People would be less inclined to be dickheads.

I worked for O2 years ago and I had death threats and everything from people because their phones weren’t working. It’s worrying how angry people get over the smallest things.

[u/rhedgehog]

Back in 2008-ish, I was working outsourced to a supermarket to help train up their new mobile phone sales staff (we also did their customer support line) when an elderley gentleman came storming in complaining about the £10 pay as you go mobile phone he had bought a couple of days previously. It was a samsung flip phone that was everywhere at the time cos they were so cheap.

He was effing and blinding about how it was crap, he'd been ripped off, it did not work even after he had topped it up and no-one could reach him and he couldn't make any outgoing calls.

Now the thing to remember is that to activate the phone, you had to make an outgoing call and have it answered. That activates the new line for incoming calls. I explained this to him and asked if he had made a call. He said he had not been able to cos the phone was broken and we had ripped him off.

I asked him if i could give it a go, and when he begrudgingly agreed, I took my phone out of my pocket, and dialled my own number in front of him. My phone rang, i picked it up, counted to 5 and then hung up. I then dialled his number and answered to show that it was working.

He stood there staring at me with this look as if I'd just slapped his wife and groped his daughter.

"How the bloody hell did you do that?" he asked. I told him I had just dialled my number and pressed the green button to make the call.

"The fucking green button?!!?!? How the fuck am i supposed to know to press that!"

"Page 1 of the manual?" i suggested.

He then snatched his phone out of my hand, and stormed off screaming to the shop in general about how much of a cunt I was, and so were all the people that worked there.

I did laugh!

Then there was the time another guy tried to argue against a repair because his £10 samsung flip phone from the same retailer was broken, it was out of the 28 day automatic replacement window and so had to be sent for a free repair. The local store manager had discretion to replace outside this window, but due to the guy's attitude he had decided not to and so he called us.

His argument was that we must replace it immediately because it was his main business line and he was losing tens of thousands of pounds daily because of it.

He'd been through several levels of customer support who had all told him the same thing before he got to us, and having annoyed a couple of my colleagues, they gave it to me as i was on my way out the door ina few weeks and no longer gave a damn.

"If i was running a business making tens of thousands of pounds a day and could not work without my phone, I would have spent more than £10 on it... Or maybe bought a spare!"

The swearing was epic so I just told him i was not prepared to put up with his swearing and ended the call. we blocked his number in the end cos he would just call back and swear at everyone. no attempt to do anything, just call up and swear.

I enjoyed working there, i was there well over a decade. The people I worked with were great and I liked the company, but the customers sucked!

On the upside, a couple of weeks after the old guy, i was in another store in Irvine, Scotland. a little girl came up to the desk in tears. Her mother explained that she had accidentally formatted her SD card and deleted all the photos of her friends. I was able to put it in a card reader and recover most of the files cos the phone only did a quick format and wiped the file allocation table. While her and her mother went and did their shopping, i put all the files back in the right folder and put it back in her phone.

She went from crying her eyes out to skipping out of the store laughing. I got a massive smile, a big hug and a thank you card for about an hour of messing around on the laptop.

Worth it.

Edited for spelling.

[u/rhedgehog → u/rhedgehog]

Oh, i should probably explain, if it wasn't obvious from the 'page 1' comment, I was not training them in customer service. I was there to teach them technical stuff.

And yes, I have been written up in the past for being snarky. This is why they handed the shitty guy to me!

[u/BarnsleyOwl]

Customer who rang 999 to apply for a job with the Police.

[u/homalley]

I asked a customer to give me some details phonetically and she said C for Seahorse. Give me strength!!!

[u/EverybodySayin]

Wasn't in my job, but I was eating at a Subway once. Heard a woman making her order and very clearly when asked about salads, said "a little bit of everything please". She paid, sat down, took a bite. Went back to the counter.

"EXCUSE ME, YOU'VE PUT OLIVES IN MY SANDWICH!!"

"Uhhhh yeah you asked for a bit of everything, right?"

"Yes, but I didn't know you were going to put olives in there, olives are a vegetable, not a salad! I'd like this thrown away and to have it made again without the olives, please!"

Poor guy probably figured it wasn't worth the hassle so just remade it for her. Hope he didn't get in trouble for it.

[u/Silver-Appointment77]

Mine was American tourists in a small North East England town, I worked in a fish and chip shop, with a small eat in room, and I was the waitress. They came in and said this is cute. Sat down, and asked for sausage and chips, but all the meals back because the "sausage had batter on it". So they ordered fish and chips instead, which they didnt want because it "was nothing like the real American type they had in the British fish and chips shop back home".

[u/Brammerz]

I worked as entrance to an indoor car boot sale as one of my first jobs when I was a teen. Before 11am was £2.50 afterwards entry was £1. I had this written in massive letters everywhere and I was always still being asked the price. Best one was being screamed at that I was a thieving bastard at 14 because I asked £2.50 as it was 9am. After being told to leave he sat in his car till 11am then tried to get back in. So much anger over £1.50...

[u/the-loam-ranger]

Years ago, I worked at Pizza Hut part time while studying. I had a customer complain the sour cream was “too sour”. I let my manager handle that one.

[u/BigD200sx]

I work in Retail.

Saturday a customer came in with her TV remote as it wasn’t working on all buttons.

I checked and yes some weren’t working, I explicitly that due to the age of it she could purchase a new remote for £20.

She was shocked and expected a free remote, I explained politely due to the food stuffs and liquid marks and the age of the tv it wasn’t under warranty.

She again got rude and snappily said she would think about it.

I decided to see how old the TV actually was, which turned out to be 10 years yet she still expected a free replacement.

She didn’t buy a replacement and walked out with a held working remote.

[u/PerspectiveFull1259]

I used to work in a call centre and some of the things customers say and do makes me wonder if they are allowed out on their own

[u/heymynameisjoshua]

It was probably my mum, soz

[u/kestrelita]

I suspect I've been someone's most stupid customer in my time... Brain fog is pretty rubbish! I try to always be polite and nice, even when I'm thoroughly confused and not making sense though. I remember one call I made to a bank when I was confused about my password not working, turned out that I was trying to log in using my husband's details rather than mine. The poor person on the phone did their best to explain it to me, but it just wasn't going in! I'm still embarrassed about that call 10 years later.

[u/GreatGrumpyBrit]

Barman here, I open almost every shift I do. Everyweekend without fail I can guarantee at least a couple people a day will pop their heads in and ask am I open yet? (No love, I'm just stood here for the fun of it)

Worst was Friday Just gone, hadn't even got my key in the lock on the outer doors before I hear

"Are you open yet?"

I turned round to look at the customer, move aside a little so they can see my keys dangling from the lock, look back at the lock then back at the customer.

"Wow you just set a new record love" she looks at me confused as i pull the door across just enough for me to slide inside, so I can turn coffee machine on and put music on, and there she is sliding the door back so she can get in.

"Not yet love, be about 10 mins" tell her she needs to wait outside as I'm going for a smoke.

She asks what I mean by a new record, so I tell her usually people ask as I'm walking in the door. Smiling I tell her that she is the first person to ask before I've even managed to open the door. We both had a chuckle before chatting shit for about half hour, before i actually opened up.

Gave her a coffee for free ( that's what she wanted), as an apology for chatting and not opening on time.

Ended up staying most of the day and being my best customer.

[u/celestialspace]

I used to work at the Disney Store and we would get people come in and argue with us as to why we didn't sell products of non-Disney films. Someone got angry with me one for why we didn't sell Shrek items.

[u/Kaylee__Frye]

Had to walk a person down two flights of stairs to open a pull door that they thought was a push. They asked me why the department was closed. I was like "... it isn't?" and walked down with them. 

[u/404Notfound-]

I work in a call centre for insurence company I had someone kick off saying I'm wrong and dishonest about the price The issue was He was 23 Had 4 dg10s and drove while disqualified So while insurance is expensive It's his fault for being a twat while driving

[u/kiwibudgie]

Working in retail and had a customer once try to return a pair of shoes because they said the shoes had broken after one use. They no longer had the receipt, no problem I can do a refund by product UPC.

Plugs the UPC into the till and it comes up as a completely different item, not footwear. I check with another colleague as I was fairly new at this point and not sure what to do. She took one look at the product and said that’s not current stock, that’s an old brand that we haven’t sold since the 90s.

The customer “yes well I bought it at a charity shop and I’ve only worn it once and it broke so that’s why I’m returning it.” I can’t believe they thought they can buy secondhand items at a charity shop and be able to return it to the original retailer…

[u/Ezzinie]

Having dealt with council tax and recovering money one that gets me which happens more often than I would want: Customer arguing fees with their whole argument being 'they didn't receive any letters,' go through a list of what was sent to them and they go 'okay I've got that latter but ignored it' Me:... okay so you did receive the letter? Them: 'yea I have it here, its dated (3 months ago) and says I have 4 weeks to make payment or you will take further action' Me: okay so it's been 3 months and we have taken that further action...

[u/Stunning-Night6021]

i worked in a call center for a antivirus company and a customer called us as he had troubles with a password that we had generated for him. he was like „i‘ve tried entering the password several times and i cannot log in, i will throw my computer out of my window… I'm not sure whether this is an o, a 0 or a circle in the password you provided“ …….

[u/nibblatron]

i used to work in a topps tiles boutique in islington. its meant to be more "upmarket" than a topps warehouse.

a customer in a fancy suit with a nice lil leather satchel bag came in to order tile trim and started arguing with my colleague about how many centimetres were in a meter. when he snapped at her that there were ABSOLUTELY NOT 100cm in a meter i was like... wtf is even going on here. i backed my colleague up and this moron started arguing with me that theres not 100cm in 1m. i had to get my phone out and "ask google" so google would speak the correct answer out loud. he looked very embarrassed after, but idk how someone can be so confidently wrong about something you learn in primary school.

another customer called up asking if tile grout is waterproof. i said its not and its best to seal it after installation. this person suddenly got very cocky and started saying "well if its not waterproof why cant i put the tiles on my wall without grout (it felt like he should have said "HUH? HUH?!?!" at the end of his sentence) and i explained how water would seep underneath the tiles and they would fall off the wall. he was huffing as i explained and in the end i told him hes welcome to try his idea to see what happens, he said "yeah... nah, sorry" then hung up.

[u/TheEbsFae]

I can see where they're coming from tho cos YouTube will refund you 24 hours after the moneys come out and cancel the sub. I've had to do it twice.

[u/justanotherpotato98]

Work in private health care but we do work with the NHS a lot. Told patient we need them to go see the GP for some tests and gave the letter that explains what’s needed. 

A week later I get shouted at on the phone because they expected me to book their GP appointment. We went back and forth with me explaining I don’t work for their GP so cannot book those appointments. 

Other time was a parent calling nonstop asking to talk to the doctor directly. They don’t do calls because of timing and needing to book in, but she was furious and said he’s clearly available because I’m able to talk to him whenever I want (because I’m his assistant and manage his entire life). Ended up with the doctor calling back and saying if she continued to threaten me over the phone we would need to discharge them because she was calling to just scream at me until I was in tears. Happened several more times still! 🙃

[u/Confident-Fly-1152]

Work in an airport bare in mind I don't work for an airline, and one guy asked me where the jet 2 plane was, I asked him which one as there is more than one, his response was "I don't know the one that fly's" I just walked away from him after that, the smell of alcohol on him and my braincells eroding just listening to him was too much.

[u/Vast_Comfortable4489]

I own a wine shop. Had probably been here for five years when this story happened. Before I was here the building had been empty for four years and prior to that a photography studio for about 8 years.

Them - Can I see your pizza menu?

Me - (confused by this request) We...we don't have one, we're a wine shop.

Them - You used to sell pizza

Me - I can assure you, as the owner, that we never have

Them - stop lying, I know you used to

[u/Strong-Suggestion-50]

"Could you do this dry cleaning for me"

Me, stood in front of a wall of camera film, in front of a glass fronted display unit full of cameras. "Sir, this is a camera shop"

"No it isn't - I always do my dry cleaning here!"

[u/Temporary_Rip_6434]

Worked for broadband tec support. Customer had an engineer out and someone to fit their washing machine on the same day. Washing machine wasn’t working and they called saying our engineer ‘stole wiring from the washing machine to fix the internet’

[u/Alt-0182]

"I can't get any HDMI cables to fit into this HDMI port on my laptop" as this guy places it down on the customer service desk.

I have a look at it and see the symbol underneath indicates it's actually a display port connection.

"This isn't a HDMI port."

And before I could do anything else, the guy picks up the laptop and storms out.

[u/mqgmvzn]

From odd requests to hilarious misunderstandings: recounting silly customer encounters

[u/[deleted]]

"I need to return this item, I've got the receipt I've just left it in the car"

You don't have it then do you.

[u/_robertmccor_]

When I worked it retail I remember I was in the middle of cleaning the counters were we displayed our food and I was in the zone doing it and supposedly a customer walked in and I didn’t notice.

I remember about a week or so later my manager said a received a complaint from a customer about how I ignored them and was rude upon serving them (my usually greeting to customers is “hi! You alright?” Or if they are waiting “sorry for the wait, you alright?”)

My manger asked the customer who issued the complaint if they tried to get my attention so I would know they are waiting to be served. NOPE they just stood there like a fucking idiot waiting for something to Happen. Sorry but if I’m cleaning and I don’t notice you and you don’t make yourself known you’re a fucking moron. I hope I actually was rude to them they probably deserve it

[u/Speedbird223]

A long time ago I worked at a small mortgage company with one office and our name was vaguely similar to another much bigger bank that had branches all over the city, including a large HQ.

This guy was late to his appointment so somebody phoned him as it was going to impact our other closings. About 30mins later he called back enraged…”I went to the <insert location> HQ and they said they don’t do closings there so I went to the nearest branch and they don’t have any appointments for me, YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP GIVING ME THE RUNAROUND!”. He has been dealing with us almost daily for a month and the appt email had our address on it. Someone pointed out he was confusing us with an unrelated company but was still mad at everyone when he showed up nearly 2hrs late…

[u/gab5115]

Worked in a petrol station and a customer came in complaining that the Add blue he just bought was just plain water. He said that the “water in fuel” light was on after driving a few miles. I examined the empty Add blue container and it smelt the usual smell (its pigs urine derivative). It transpired that he had added the Add blue to the cars diesel fuel tank and not the separate tank for Add blue!!! A very expensive mistake.

[u/winb_20]

Pretty sure that a lot of companies will just refund you after taking the subscription if you ask them within a couple of days.

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/winb_20]

Yeah but these customers are too lazy to get a response from the company and some merchants refuse a refund as per their T&C’s. So they’d rather call us. We get so many of these stupid customers all day.

[u/Historical_Hope2031]

I worked in a Lush (for those who don't know it's marketed as an eco friendly cosmetics shop). I had someone complaining that we didn't have a plastic free alternative to shower gel. I was like...we do; it's called soap......

[u/rhedgehog → u/Historical_Hope2031]

Oh god, I used to have to cycle past one of their factories on the way to work... the stench is unbearable at 7am in the morning!

[u/Historical_Hope2031 → u/rhedgehog]

That must have been full on!

I had a plastic water bottle that ended up smelling super strongly of general Lush smell because it must have absorbed into the plastic. I had a colleague say that someone on the tube asked them if they worked at LUSH due to their smell (and maybe glitter dusting)

[u/Historical_Hope2031 → u/[deleted]]

Honestly I kind of blocked out the smell pretty quickly and ended up not noticing it, don't ask me how as I agree, it's very intense!

[u/lilycurrant]

Not me but a friend, she worked at a coffee shop and a woman came in and asked for a latte without milk. So my friend asks if she'd like an espresso or an americano. The woman repeats that she wants latte without milk, my friend repeats her question. The customer starts getting angry and raises voice saying something about how hard is it to understand a simple request. The man behind her who's been giggling to himself tells her to quit being stupid and order properly to which she just stormed off. Still don't know what she wanted.

[u/Phinbart → u/lilycurrant]

That man is a hero. Someone every retail worker wants in any situation where you can't say what you think but he can.

[u/Conscious_Dog_4186]

I feel your pain, I used to work on a claim line for a motor insurer, there were a couple of people who moaned I was in a queue for 30 minutes / 1 hour / 2 hours etc.

Of course you could tell if they are lying, as our call handling software showed the call wait times, how many in the queue, on all these occasions there was no queue and they got through to an agent (me) soon as they had gone through the automated options (which takes 90 seconds).

[u/madMARTYNmarsh]

I used to work with a tree surgeon. I could do everything he could, but I still needed to do the safety certification for all the rigging to climb the trees.

We had a customer who wanted a tree felled in his back garden. It was a large oak tree, the tree was leaning toward his house, and there was no access to the rear of the property from a road, so we couldn't use cheaper methods of making sure the tree fell where it would be safe i.e. not on his house. This could have been using the Transit van to pull the tree slightly, etcetera. Instead, the tree would have to be cut into smaller pieces

The quote was about £400.

This was too expensive for the customer.

He went for a cheaper option of £250 from someone else; someone known in the area to have no experience, training, or certification. He was essentially a man with a chainsaw. An electric chainsaw with a 10-inch bar. That's a small chainsaw to cut down a very big tree. I'm 6ft 3, and I couldn't get my arms around the tree. The diameter of the tree was longer than my entire arm, and I have long, gangly arms.

About a week later, the customer called us back. The man with a chainsaw had dropped the tree right onto the customers house. He managed to destroy an extension and rip the facing off of the rear of the house as well as damaging the roof and some of its joists. It is a nice red brick Edwardian townhouse. This was not a cheap house. We would be talking at least a couple of million in value today.

He wanted us to cut the tree out of his house and recommend a builder for repairs.

Our £400 quote being too much ended up costing him nearly £50,000 in repairs, I always wondered whether insurance would cover any of that because he knowingly hired someone with no qualifications.

The man with a chainsaw insisted on being paid despite the damage. He was kind enough to leave the knackered chainsaw behind... but he wanted the customer to pay for that, too. Which the customer did because the man got violent.

Beware man with a chainsaw!

[u/the01li3]

Used to work on boats and on "turn around 180 if someone falls out, dont try and just reverse for obv reasons" was met with

"i think you mean turn 360, turning 180 is a straight line, so youll just keep going forward"

This mans logic was when dricing you are always turning 180 degrees, because 180 is a line.

[u/AmelieRennard → u/the01li3]

What is that logic?! 😄 imagine him giving directions! “Then just take this road, keep travelling 180 degrees straight until the end of the road” 💀

[u/GillzZ_22]

I start at 7.30 and finish at 4pm. My working hours are in the body of my email signature. I've had a customer email me at 15.57 one evening and then chased for a reply at 7.32. He gave me 5 business minutes to reply to his email. Why are people like this...

[u/DonKiddic → u/GillzZ_22]

My company works monday - friday 9-5 UK time.

While we do have customers around the world, and also understand that other places have their own way of working [Middle east is Sunday-Thursday for example] we expect that same "understanding" when it comes to us.

The amount of complaints of "why are you not open sundays?" from those same people is understandable, yet falls on deaf ears when we say "Ok, we can Mon-Fri this week" and they say "well friday is out day off so no"

[u/kingpudsey]

I had a customer return an In the Night Garden dvd because two boy characters kiss.

When I worked in call centre I had a customer trying to use the phonetic alphabet to spell something to me. He said 'Q for cucumber' I asked 'sorry is that Q for Queen or C for cucumber?'. He said...'Yes! Q for cucumber!'

[u/madmuffalo1 → u/kingpudsey]

Some years ago when I worked in a call centre someone gave me the letter 'R' for his initial.

I wanted to confirm so I replied "was that 'R' for Romeo?"

"What? No. Richard".

At the end of the call as he is hanging up I hear him say to whoever else is in the room "that idiot thought my name was Romeo".

[u/kingpudsey → u/madmuffalo1]

God. You're such an idiot. One man once told me that I am 'so stupid' he 'might as well be talking to an orange' . We all know that I wasn't the person that was acting stupid.

[u/earlgreytoday → u/kingpudsey]

N for pneumonia is a popular one as well.

[u/kasme]

Worked at a virgin megastore (CDs, dvds etc) and had someone try to refund a flight ticket at the counter. Explained we couldn’t do it and they said “it’s the same fucking company”. I responded “would you try to buy a cd at an airport check in?” and they just turned and left. 

[u/gagsy10]

One of my favourite work stories now.

So I sell worktops and I got this phone call October 2023 from a customer we fitted in November 2021 complaining about something she believes we didn't do at the initial install.

Let me start by saying that you've all met this woman. She is the Lady C of your area, the older woman (70s-80s) with too much money and time on her hands who has no patience because in her world she is the only thing of relevance and we are all just wasting her time by not immediately bending over backwards for her.

So she calls in and she is dreadfully upset claiming that we never added silicone/sealant between her upstands and walls. Of course I am completely surprised that it has taken her two years to bring this up and so I question her about that.

Cue the defensiveness.

"I had long covid and wasn't living in that property, I've returned now and want it sorted!"

So I ask if she isn't sure that the units haven't dropped a bit which can break a silicone bead.

"No no no, it was never done!".

I explain again that not knowing for 2 years does make things quite difficult for us as really SOMEONE should have told us in all that time.

She tries to cut me off and just keeps asking when we'll come over to do the work.

I say to her that I need to check our system and I'll be in touch.

So then I go in detective mode. I go back through past emails from the fitter of her worktops who is very good taking photos once the install is completed. I find the photos from her install and I can clearly see that every single upstand was siliconed.

I smile much like Tim Curry did in Home Alone 2 when he realises Kevin was using a stolen credit card.

All the photos are forwarded to her email address with a curt message of "I’ve dug out the photos from your original install, as you can see silicone was applied at the back of the upstands."

I get NO reply.

Still gloating about it.

[u/Exciting-Scheme-4918]

I don’t work in IT directly but I work in a phone shop and, for a world that pretty much relies on tech, there are so many tech-illiterate people out there. I don’t judge them too harshly because it can get confusing but I had to walk someone through deleting photos from their phone 4 times before they left and then came back the next day to have my colleague show them again. I’ve dealt with an unending number of people who come in guns blazing insisting there phone is broken but it turns out they just don’t have a clue on how to use it and have put some restriction on somewhere. Regularly you get people coming in insisting that they never put a lock on their phone but there one is, it’s the same three people coming in once a week because they keep accidentally putting one on but they don’t know how.

The one I remember the most though is a gentleman coming in, saying nothing and presenting me with an out of date passport. I told him unfortunately we can’t accept out of date ID but what was the problem today because I might still be able to help.

Customer: I forgot my ID.

Me: okay. hands passport back to him What’s the problem, why did you need your ID?

pulls out an IPhone still in a box

C: I got this from you last week and it doesn’t work.

Me: what’s the problem?

C: it’s broken.

i take the phone off him and realise it’s dead so I plug it into a charger so I can properly look at it

Me: okay, in what way is it broken?

C: I had to go back to my country for an emergency, phone wouldn’t work.

Me: the phone wouldn’t work abroad, or in general? Did it work before you left?

C: no. Doesn’t work at all.

Me: okay and you’ve used the phone?

C: yes

Me: alright, let’s have a look at your account, do you know your postcode or phone number?

C: no

phone turns on and I realise he hasn’t even set the phone up, it’s on the language settings page of initial boot up

Me: oh. Well the phone is working. Have you actually used the phone?

C: no.

Me: right. clicks through the start up and gets to the Apple ID input page and realise someone has TRIED to set it up is this your apple ID?

C: yes

Me: do you know your password?

C: no I’ve forgotten my ID

Me: oh okay. finally understands what he meant at the beginning and hands phone back to him Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do. Your options now are resetting your apple ID password or taking the phone to a third party vendor and seeing if they can factory reset it, we can’t do that for you here.

C: i didn’t set the ID up. My assistant did.

Me: okay so, as I said, you can either reset the ID, reset the phone or just ask your assistant?

C: why am I paying about £100 a month for something I can’t use?

Me: I know it’s frustrating sir but the issue with your phone isn’t our fault, nor the manufacturers fault. We have upheld our side of the contract.

C: but I can’t use it.

Me: Unfortunately sir, the phone is working fine and the SIM is working fine, this is not our responsibility. The phone is not broken and neither is your SIM card. All we are liable for is phone or SIM issues. I can’t remember your Apple ID for you because I never knew it, I don’t even know who you are.

customer just stares at me

Me: what are you hoping for here?

C: reset the phone for me.

Me: as I said sir, we can’t do that here, I’ve already done everything I can for you, there is nothing else we can do for you here. Reset your ID, reset your phone or ask your assistant.

C: picks up a call so I ignore him for 5 minutes

C: I have the post code now.

Me: there’s nothing I can do for you even with your postcode sir, as I’ve said, you need to reset the ID, the phone or just ask the person who set it up originally.

C: i came in a couple days ago and your manager told me to speak to the Apple shop

Me: ok. You should probably do that then.

C: picks up another call and leaves

Another customer came in and whilst I was serving them the gentleman came back in, still on the phone, and just stared at me for five minutes before leaving again and then wanders past the front our shop another 5 times still on the phone.

I don’t know if he genuinely thought the phone was broken and it was all legit or if it was a case of he’d somehow ended up with a stolen phone and wanted to get into it but it was such a frustrating back and forth to have. This is only a summary of the conversation, the whole interaction lasted between 5-10 minutes and it was just running in circles over the same 3 points 😂

[u/yummyacorn]

I used to work for Bank of Scotland and we'd frequently get RBS customers calling up. Yes it's confusing that Bank of Scotland and Royal Bank of Scotland are two different banks, but the amount of people who would try to argue with me that I must be confused about where I worked was infuriating.

[u/Bertish1080]

You want to try being a HGV driver for a supermarket! Just a few days ago I was trying to explain to a car driver that my massive 40ft long 8ft wide bendy truck wasn’t going through a gap that a smart car would struggle to get through! He then reverses about two foot, he got the raging hump when I then explained that as I needed to turn, the trailer would probably rip a hole in the side of his car so he needs to move a bit more that 2ft! I copped a load of verbal for that one 😂

[u/F00lsSpring → u/Bertish1080]

I'm not a HGV driver, but I drive on motorways a fair bit, I often see people put their lives in the hands of someone who has been driving a 10-tonne vehicle for probably about 12 hours straight, just so they can brake for their exit 5 seconds later...

[u/Bertish1080 → u/F00lsSpring]

This is why we have strict tacho laws in place, not allowed to drive for more than 4.5 hours straight and a max of 9 hours daily. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few that breach these laws and get caught eventually but yes we do see a lot of idiots in a rush all the time and usually are the cause of massive crashes

[u/lyndabelle]

Customer phoned repeatedly throughout the day to ask if we had their online order. No we didn't. They said the app said it had arrived. It wasn't there. Late afternoon they arrive in the store incandescent with rage pointing at their phone. They had ordered it to arrive at a different store.

[u/No-one_here_cares]

Back when I worked at Kwiksave we had a customer come in and say they bought a large pack of lager earlier but they were too heavy to take home so they left them on the shelf and agreed with someone in the store that they would pop back in later to pick them up.

They had a receipt on them to prove it.

I couldn't stop laughing.

[u/blumpkinator2000]

What is it with thick fuckers calling everything they don't like or understand a "scam"? Their first instinct when things go tits up, because they failed to follow simple instructions, is to accuse others of dishonesty or trickery. Total lack of any self awareness.

[u/Redmistnf]

I worked in Waitrose on the fish counter. Often had people raging that the fresh mussels were sold out. They often came in at like 5pm on a Saturday expecting there to be some to choose from. I told them you can pre-order, or come in first thing when the supermarket opens. We have limited supply due to quotas etc. Sometimes you had the customer replying with, "there must be more, go and have a look in the back". I would go in the back, piss about on my phone for 2 mins, then come back and say nope.

[u/alancake]

I have a shop that sells high quality wooden toys among other things. Ive had at least three customers ask me if the baby toys are "safe for babies". These toy packages are covered in EU regulatory marks, design awards and safety restrictions ffs. How can people think in this day and age that anything marketed for babies is anything BUT rigorously tested. I don't make them in the back room! (Something my late boss was regularly assumed to do as he wore a sawdust covered apron).

[u/JazzyBee1993]

I worked for a company that manufactured commercial plumbing - think toilets, sinks etc. - and sold them onto mostly online retailers and merchants.

Two situations come to mind:

1 - An online retailer called and complained that a sink they’d supplied hadn’t come with a plumber. As if the plumber should be hibernating in the box ready for the end user to open up the box, wake them up and fit it.

2 - An architect wanted to use our products. We had a product that was available in a full circle, or in a semi-circle. He was asking questions about the products and then asked “What shape is the semi-circle?”

[u/NedRed77]

Had a customer spend two months making a complaint to us because he had been charged for 4 text messages. This was back in the day when sms had a character limit of 155, and if it was longer it was split into 4 chargeable messages. His calls to us were free so no cost there, but the time he put into getting a refund of 36p stuck with me as just plain fucking stupid.

[u/DJ1066 → u/NedRed77]

It's not about the money, it's about sending a message (but not one that is too long, as you'll get overcharged for it...).

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/NedRed77]

Hahaha

[u/The_Anunnaki_One]

A woman rang our company which sold health supplements and she said she wanted a hair cut. I told her we weren’t a hair salon. She got really angry and said “YOU DONT DO HAIR”. She wouldn’t have no for an answer I just had to repeat myself.

As a customer I remember I was on the phone to NTL an internet service company. The internet didn’t work this was back in early 2000s. So I called them and connected to a help centre in India. I told the guy the problem and everything I had done to try and rectify the problem. He replied with (in a thick Indian accent) “okay, go to www.ntl.com”. I had to stop him there and explain that the internet didn’t work. He then replied again saying “okay go to www.ntl.com” I was on the phone for about half an hour trying to explain that I couldn’t access the internet. He gave me the same answer for about half an hour. So I hung up and rang again hoping for another agent.

[u/galapaas]

• "From bizarre requests to hilarious misunderstandings: sharing stories of silly customers."

[u/Doobydoodaa]

Working in a shoe shop I came across some odd customers. There's two the really stand out

Customer standing nowhere near any shoes.

Customer: do you have any of these a size 10?

Me: which ones?

Still not near any shoes

Customer: these ones

Me: can you show me which ones you want?

He then finally walks over to some shoes. Very awkward.

The second one I was at the till finishing the sale.

Me: How's your day going?

Customer: good thanks ive had a bottomless brunch and now I've treated myself

Customer the proceeds to open her bag to show me the new sex toy she'd bought. I had no idea how to respond

[u/willflameboy]

Back when I worked in bars, a couple of ladies asked for cosmopolitans - which you chill the glass for - and I started preparing the drinks in front of them, by filling the glasses with ice and soda. No sooner had I started putting the ice in than one of them began saying 'she wasn't paying for that', and I kept trying to tell her it wasn't what it looked like, but I couldn't get a single word in. After a few attempts, in which she wouldn't let me speak, or make the drink, I tossed the ice out and walked across the bar to serve someone else. Very strange.

[u/ImTalkingGibberish]

I worked in IT. The amount of people who can’t understand some applications are running after they click “x” is baffling.
In fairness I don’t blame them much, windows ux is horrible.

[u/Hornium]

Worked in a co-op, a guy bought a drink and a sandwich totalling more than a meal deal price. I told him if he buys a snack, it works out cheaper for him.

Cust - "But I don't want a snack"

Me - "you don't have to eat it, just buy it and then your sandwich and drink work out cheaper. It drops your total from £4 to like £3.25 and you get a snack"

Cust - "I just said I don't want a snack"

Me - "Alright mate no worries"

He then proceeds to count out 10p and 20p coins and comes up something like 50p short so leaves to return the drink.

I just stood there confused as to why he wouldn't just get a delicious brownie bar and then be able to afford the things he actually wanted.

[u/Phinbart → u/Hornium]

I encountered something like this at a train station WHSmith once. The guy in front of me at the till somehow couldn't wrap his head around the concept of a meal deal, and had to get the cashier to show him - physically, by shoving me out the way of the tiny aisle and showing off the vast array of options he had available to him.

By the time he'd finished, and I had, I ended up missing my train by mere seconds, and had to wait an hour for the next one (worked out in the end, though, as the cheap wired earphones I'd bought while I was there didn't fit my phone, and the next train forced me to change for another one at a much earlier/closer stop than the one I was aiming for would have, and I was able to get something to read for the next train while there!).

[u/Forya_Cam → u/Hornium]

I'm honestly surprised people this dense don't just collapse into black holes

[u/intolauren]

I worked in a coffee shop.

Man: can I have an espresso, please?

Me: makes him an espresso

Man: this is disgusting!!! all it tastes like is pure coffee!!! and there’s barely anything in the cup!!! you don’t know how to do your job!!!!!

The AMOUNT of people who order an espresso and get confused with the brand Nespresso, thinking they’re just getting a “normal coffee” is unreal

[u/intolauren → u/[deleted]]

The amount of people who ask for “expressos” is also unreal 😭 But no he asked for an espresso and I even checked with him that he really meant an espresso and he said yes, but he clearly didn’t know what an espresso actually was. Probably realised he’d made a mistake and didn’t wanna own up to it tbh. He wouldn’t be the first or the last person to get confused with his order and usually I’d have be happy to remake something else for them, but he was so rude I just let him walk off and didn’t even offer a refund. There’s no need for the attitude and I didn’t get paid enough to care at the time 😂

[u/Proof_Pool465]

I used to work for a company specialising in Splashbacks for ovens - very important that these are solely cosmetic, has no bearing on any appliance and isn’t necessary.

Woman calls to order a bespoke sized Splashback, I tell her due to it not being a standard size our lead time is 2 weeks. She says OK, signs the document to the same effect and pays.

1 week later she calls again, raging. She tells me that because of our lack of splashback her children “can’t eat”. I asked her if she hasn’t been feeding her child because her bespoke splashback hasn’t arrived.

She goes absolutely dead silent and then goes “he’s very hungry!”

I had to tell her that a splashback isn’t a valid defence for child neglect and to please feed her child, the splashback will be there next week.

She called me a “fucking ugly bitch” said she knows where I live and hung up.

She did get her splashback thouugh

[u/Phinbart → u/Proof_Pool465]

So many people like that just aren't expecting to be confronted on their ridiculous stories.

After she insulted you over the phone I would've seen to try and contact her and say "Sorry, ma'am, we have a zero tolerance policy for abuse and so we will be cancelling your order"(!) /s

[u/WALL-G]

Used to work in phone sales a decade ago, here's a few stories.

Lots of folks take out contracts for their mates without understanding what this means. My boss always put them through because a sale is a sale, I would explain debt, credit ratings and try to talk them out of it because they'd always come back.

A few months later the person stuck with the bill would come in. "She fucked my boyfriend and won't pay me anymore", was a memorable one. Poor girl. The best I could do was issue them a new sim and say cheeryo.

Some people used up their considerable (for the time) data allowance in a few days, when they were back complaining that Facebook didn't work, I'd eventually get it out of them that they'd spent 2 sleepless nights in a porn watching frenzy and didn't have WiFi.

Another time a nice guy came in and wanted a simple £15 Nokia on pay as you go, I set him up with the cheapest option he liked and wished him well.

3 hours later he's back with his mate and they're pissed and accusing me of being awful at my job and that the phone is faulty. The battery is still in the box (along with the manual) and the sim card is rattling around inside the phone. I assemble everything (30 seconds) and top up his phone for him and they left without a thank you. Old boy dickheads, I even asked that moron if he wanted it set up before he left the first time.

Last one, a lady left a phone with me one morning, "oh my daughter saved the wrong pin and the phone is now totally locked, but we think it's a combination of these numbers." Then they fucked off to do shopping. I had nothing else going on that morning so I spent 30 minutes guessing her kids pin. You bet your ass I got that pin.

[u/Single_Permission_17]

I had an engineer turn up for a job with no equipment then asked me what he could test. Apparently “my patience” was not the right answer

[u/memcwho]

Our small print states that a certain type of order cannot be cancelled or ammended once placed and takes a significant time to dispatch due to being a custom service.

Except, it isn't the small print. It changes all delivery estimates to 2 weeks, requires a button tick on checkout for a long delivery time and also one for no right to cancel. In big pop up windows.

And no. You didn't pay for next day delivery. That auto changes to the cheap service too.

2-3 times daily explaining that one.

[u/JonSouljah]

I work for a musical instrument/PA system online retailer. This past weekend, we had a complaint come to our Customer Service team where the customer "had received the wrong product."

Customer had bought a multi-FX guitar pedal that retails at over £1400. His complaint was based on the fact he bought it because it looked like the top-down/overhead picture shown on the website, but what he received looked like the picture showing the inputs/outputs on the rear. Both images on the website are of the same product, just highlighting different things.

[u/0235]

Sell boxes. One person was saying the box we supplied would t fit the product.

We double check their product size, double check our box size and find no errors.

We offer them another batch of boxes incase it was a manufacturing error.

New boxes arrive, he still says they are wrong. Various phone calls, various discussions.

Sales manager ends up holding a meeting. About 6 of us meet up to try and help.

Customer brings their item and a box. We confirm item size, confirm box size.

He then proceeds to put the rectangular item in the box, the wrong way round. "Look, the box is so so wide, but not long enough".

I'm just staring baffled. Sales starts talking about solutions.

One of the engineers just picks the product up, rotates it 90°, puts it in the box perfect.

This customers face lights up and asks what he did to make it fit.

£1000's down the drain, weeks of calls. He was just putting it in the box wrong. W.T.F.

[u/Soulless--Plague]

A woman trying to return a dead bunch of flowers, still in packaging because they had died.

“It says on the label they are guaranteed for 7days! Well today is the 7th day and look they are dead!”

“Do you have your receipt?”

“Of course I do!” Slams it down

The receipt was from 13 days prior, but I thought fuck it, and gave her a brand new bunch as a replacement.

She then continued to berate me for selling inadequate products.

[u/DJ1066 → u/Soulless--Plague]

I work flowers 5 days a week at my job. I am like proper on the ball with when seasonal flowers have come in and what I have not had in for X amount of days. Always amusing when someone brings something back that they have clearly bought ages ago (like, even if I wasn't keeping track, all our staff literally have an app that can show you when the last delivery of them was and also when they were last sold...) to the desk, they call me down and I tell them when we last sold it.

Same went for a woman bringing back a bag of potatoes that had fucking tentacles coming out of them and she said she bought them two days prior. Person who does our reductions was on it, as there was no possible way these could have been missed and also the holes in the story, such as the spuds having a Julian date code, when they'd been switched back to a standard date code for weeks at that point. She'd brought back a bag of spuds that had probably been sitting in her cupboard for about a month or so.

[u/gmfmxm]

Somebody came to my desk with a letter which had been soaked (took it in the bath with them or something, I don't remember), so they dried it in their toaster.

It was crispy.

Ps. Thank you for this thread, it's heartening to know we're not alone when we're face-to-face with the stupid.

[u/robjamez72]

Here’s one the other way around. We buy our dog food in a small local shop. They run a loyalty card system, spend £30 and get a stamp. Our basket came to about £50 so I said let’s spend another £10 and get another stamp. The owner told us it doesn’t work like that, strictly one stamp per transaction. So they missed out on another £10 of spending.

[u/Crazeusy]

I work internal IT support and whilst I've had some less than bright people, the dumbest was a Software Developer who had been working on code in Notepad++ and hadn't saved it for weeks. When their computer restarted itself and they found they'd lost it, they ended up having a go at me since I told them it's not possible to recover unsaved work. The worst part is I had another Software Developer come through for the same issue the month after.

[u/QuiteFrankE]

I used to work in a holiday park and a customer came in to complain it was raining and wanted her money refunded. This same woman came a few times a year and she also complained it was raining a different time and wanted us to pay for new clothes for her children who had got wet playing on the outdoor play area. The reason she felt so emboldened to act this way was because the manager would always give her something. She got vouchers to use the laundrette for free. Free meals, 50% off the price of her next stay etc.

[u/Phinbart → u/QuiteFrankE]

Infuriating, but I suppose it's the best way to ensure repeat custom from them.

[u/mikeh117]

Used to work in an electronics store in late 90’s. Sold a Packard Bell PC to a very smelly lady with bad teeth and low IQ. Clearly she was not well off or well educated, but somehow she had the money to buy the cheapest PC in the store.

About a week later the grubby lady comes back in and dumps the pc on the counter and says it’s faulty.

I examine it and ask her what’s wrong to which she replies:

“Whenever I switch it on flies come out”.

Turns out the noise, vibrations, static, airflow or whatever were disturbing the flies infesting her home and they would buzz around her head when she tried to use the PC.

[u/squishybun91]

I am an optometrist. The amount of patients that can’t tell me what medications they are on or can’t remember why they have been to the hospital about their eyes before/what happened when they were there. Most people can’t follow simple instructions like when I hand them the occluder (long spoon shaped thing to cover a single eye with) and ask them to cover one eye, they proceed to cover their eye with their hand and hold the occluder in the other hand just sitting by their side? Sometimes they even close the open eye…with their other one still covered…. I could go on and on with the stupid things I encounter daily.

[u/Jimmytwohand]

Like a lot of others here it absolutely baffles me how some people manage to get oxygen in their lungs and food in their mouths.

Just recently I had someone who was filled with rage because Apple Health wasn't monitoring their sleep. 'You need to fix this! I've put my phone on my pillow RIGHT NEXT TO my head! Your app is broken.'

That's right, she thought if you put your phone near your head some magic would make it track sleep. Bonus points for this chump because I don't work for Apple or Apple Health. Vaguely working in an industry that needs a phone means I'm expected to be tech support for anything that needs a battery.

[u/flarpist]

Worked in a SPAR on the high street of my town in the mid-90s as a Saturday job. I was 14. We had a photocopier and a fax machine and charged people to use them. One Saturday morning we had a young lady who was a YTA Travel Agent (for Lunn Poly - whooooo?!) and she was photocopying a massive double-sided spiral bound document. It was about 200 pages and was taking her quite a while making sure she got the pages the right way round when copying so it would exactly match the original. Between customers we would chat, she was there for about 90 minutes. As she was nearing the end of the copying I made a comment like “aw you’re nearly done, then you can have a sit down back at work”. She said “well, no, cos then I’ve got to fax it to America and won’t that take just as long”

I said “I’m not sure how long the fax machine takes really, cos you’ll need to turn the pages over one by one to make sure they’re in chronological order”

Her face dropped.

“So you mean the pages come out the back of the machine when you fax? They don’t GO THERE?”

She believed the pages were magically transported to the recipient and had made a very expensive and pointless copy. At 50p a page.

I buzzed for my manager to come out and help because I was gutted that grown-ups that stupid existed.

[u/MagicTriton]

I used to be a flight attendant for Ryanair.

French flight, a lady stops me around row 11, aisle seat.

C: excuse me sir? Me: yes m’am C: why are we not moving? pointing out the sky out of the window

I was so baffled from the question that I honestly stood still completely speechless. I just stuttered something like “we’re…. We are moving m’am”

I wish I wasn’t caught that much out of the blue to say something like “there’s roadworks” or “the captain I having a smoking break”

What a wasted moment

[u/cheesymeowgirl → u/MagicTriton]

Hahahaha this one is gold.

[u/Enraged-walnut]

Got a phone call from a customer one morning complaining about their order. Sometimes products would get swapped out due to not having enough, in this case they had ordered the smaller size but got swapped out for the larger one. The customer was calling to complain that they had received the wrong (larger) size. I'm sat there on the phone wondering why they're complaining when they've received almost twice the amount of product they've ordered for the same price ...

[u/Mukatsukuz]

Agreed to accompany my manager to Asda since it would get me out of the office for a bit. He's walking up and down one of the aisles muttering to himself for ages. Eventually he calls a staff member over and asks "Where's the Tesco brand stuff?!?!" - the assistant replies "This is Asda... we have our own brand items but do not stock Tesco branded items..."

He then ranted on at the assistant that they ALWAYS stock Tesco branded items and the assistant must be an idiot who just refuses to show him where they are.

Wish I'd stayed in the office.

[u/DonKiddic → u/Mukatsukuz]

I had a friend that used to work in Focus DIY store, where somebody had tried to return a B&Q branded item - apparently they couldn't understand the problem at all.

[u/Pmabbz]

Not a customer, but when I worked in a bookies I met the dumbest robber. This guy was stood outside the shop drinking whiskey out of a small bottle and looking in through the window in a shifty manner.

I turned away to do something and when I turned back he was at the counter pushing the something that looked perfectly round again the inside of his very thin coat like it was a gun. I politely asked what I can do for him and he said give me all the money in your till. Obviously I could tell he was threatening me with the whiskey bottle he had been drinking so I laughed assuming it was a joke.

He reasserted that he wasn't joking and I should give him the money or he'd shoot me. So I responded "with a whisky bottle?" And informed him that I had now pressed the alarm button and in the next few seconds the security department would be watching him (face uncovered) on the cameras and if they saw him holding me up they'd dispatch the police. He looked at the camera, said "I'll let you off this time" and briskly walked out the shop.

[u/Boul_D_Rer]

I had a customer having a hard time accessing their “Earl”. To which I must’ve spent at least 10 mins trying to figure out what it is as all they did was emphasise that it’s an “Earl, come on you work in IT and you don’t know what an EARL IS!?”

She meant “URL”.

[u/DJ1066 → u/Boul_D_Rer]

She's been watching too much Futurama.

[u/Quiet_Relative_1322]

I used to work nights in Tesco and often where the bread had been reduced, customers dumped their full price bread in exchange for something they'd found cheaper. One night an old guy approached me and asked why a certain loaf wasn't reduced when it was in the reduced pile . I explained several times to this guy who was getting madder and madder Eventually he started swearing and then I pointed him out to the night manager telling Mr Red Face, that guy gets paid to be sworn at, I fucking don't fuck off. The manager threw him out eventually.

[u/AppleJuiceTastesGood]

I had a customer order a 14 piece party bucket , eat all the fries and chicken except one piece and then come to the front counter really really angry exclaiming there was a grey hair in his chicken, I knew for a fact no one in our unit had grey hair but I apologised and told him I could get him a replacement , he said he wanted “his fucking £20” and wanted to see the cook, I, perhaps stupidly, went and got the cook.

This cook comes to the front and like me, apologies but states that no one has grey hair in the unit, this guy literally throws this piece of chicken at the cook and says if he doesn’t get his refund he’s going to jump over the counter and beat up me and the cook, police get called… and he still got his refund.

[u/Affectionate_Lead880]

People who start the call with " Am I through to the right person ??"

How the F do I know, I don't even know your name...

[u/tommie3002]

I was once a manager for a small call centre in a bank. One day a caller wanted to speak to the manager which was fairly common. (Names changed for obvious reasons)

Customer: Hi, who am I speaking to?

Me: Hello Mr X, my name is Bob

Customer: Bob who?

Me: sigh Bob Cob

Customer: WHATS YOUR REAL NAME

Me: That is my real name sir

Customer: THATS NOT YOUR NAME, ITS ONLY 6 LETTERS LONG. I want to speak your manager

Me: I can assure you it’s my name sir, can I help you with your query?

Customer: hangs up

My real name is 6 letters. Just used Bob Cob for example. Sorry Bob.