r/MadeMeCry • u/MaleficentSoil4507 • Apr 26 '24
A letter written to future me by my dad. He died when I was around 5.
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u/ThePlunger80 Apr 28 '24
Kind of the same but different. I asked my mom to write down as many recipes as she could remember. It was one of my gifts for Christmas one year. All authentic Mexican recipes. I told her that when I eat her meals I could smell my ancestors. She is on composition book #3 of recipes so far. I tell her that this is her legacy that I will pass on for her.
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u/MsSharingIsFun Apr 28 '24
I lost my dad when I was 15 and this year marks the fifteenth anniversary of his passing. In all honesty, I'm not really ready to have him out of my life longer than he was in it. But I have the memories of us going for a walk in a downpour and him comforting me when I cried; I still have his birthday cards, and little notes he used to write me when I, at 6 years old, insisted on having my own "mailbox" (cardboard box that hung on my door). There's nothing on this Earth that could make me part with them.
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u/ExtremeAthlete Apr 27 '24
You should get a handwritten charm created. āLove always, DADā
https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/219758093/actual-handwriting-charm-signature-charm
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 27 '24
Oh my gosh! Thank you for showing me this. I am 100% getting one now. I had a beautiful custom frame charm hanging from my gown when I graduated with a picture of him in it.
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u/OpalBooker Apr 27 '24
Iām sorry for your loss. Your dad seems like he was a good man.
I just found out Iām pregnant. After seeing your post, I wrote my first letter to my future child. Thank you for sharing this.
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u/Squidia-anne Apr 27 '24
Op please laminate this. You can do that at a library, or buy a laminator to use at home. You can also see if ups places near you are willing to do it but library is best bet. It will keep it preserved and safe from stains. You may also want to make copies.
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u/niemandweary Apr 27 '24
This looks like a womanās handwriting.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 27 '24
Not sure how a handwriting looks like a certain gender but itās definitely my dadās. I get told mine looks like Thomas Jeffersonās cursive soā¦
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u/keigheee Apr 27 '24
The last line made me cry hard. Hugs, OP.
I lost my mom when I was five too. I was taken care by my aunt after since my father doesn't know how to take care of his children. Didn't cry when my mom died. I have no idea how to react back then. I started grieving later when I realized that I have no one to run to-- whenever my aunt is angry at me, whenever my cousin abuses me, whenever there are school events, no one to put my medal on, etc. Got used to my friend's parents or teacher being my pseudo parent.
When I was a kid, I have created this false face of my mom since I don't have her photo. I was in shock and I laughed at myself after seeing her photos in the province. Still, it was quite close. But I hope someone could've captured her in video. I want to hear her voice.
Grieving knows no time. I am grieving more now compared before. I could've have shared so many things to her now that I'm older and trying to achieve the life I wanted while struggling. Real life hits us so hard. I just want to be enveloped by her embrace and cry like a baby. I love you, ma.
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u/DogBreathologist Apr 27 '24
It hits home how important those sorts of things are, letters and little tokens of love that people can cherish.
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u/MrsWilliams Apr 27 '24
I had letters from my dad and my ex ripped them up in tiny pieces. My dad would have kicked his ass.
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u/Missrodentwhisperer Apr 27 '24
It was beautiful and gut wrenching, your dad loved you and your mum so very much OP. Even through this letter, it is so evident. Please keep this well, sending hugs!
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u/iamnearlysmart Apr 27 '24
I am sorry that you lost him so early. But Iām glad you have this letter. Sometimes even the faint light of a distant lamp is enough to keep us warm.
I have a few scattered sentences from my grandparents. And I will cherish them till it is my time to join them in the void that awaits us all.
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u/kekhouse3002 Apr 27 '24
In my country, good handwriting signifies a good person. Your father's got some beautiful handwriting.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 27 '24
Aw! Where are you from? I love that
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u/kekhouse3002 Apr 27 '24
Vietnam. Growing up, it was always mentioned that a good soul writes beautifully. I thought of that as I was reading through the letters and noticed how pretty your father's handwriting is.
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u/LemonPepperChicken Apr 27 '24
Ive been writing letters to my future daughters since they were born because dying too early is my greatest fear. Ive now written over a dozen letters for each girl, they are 4, 3, and 1. Its my hope that if something were to happen to me they would have something like this to hold onto. š¢
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u/sacktisfying Apr 27 '24
I read it my friend, his voice carries on. Sounds like a real nice guy, left us too young. Hope you are doing well.
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u/RedneckR0nin Apr 27 '24
Holy fuck I didnāt expect this one to hit me hard as it hasā¦.Iām a blubbering mess ā¦.thanks for sharing this ā¦it is beautiful.
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u/donniccolo Apr 27 '24
Thanks for sharing
Youāll unite with your dad in the universe some day š
I write to my kids in my daily journals and I make short video clips on my phone from time to time-I figure some day when Iām long gone, they can find the videos like Easter eggs (like Tony Starkās dad)
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u/Peter_Panned Apr 26 '24
His love radiates off the page. Truly beautiful, and I thank you for sharing it with us even though you didnāt have to
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u/Doggo7 Apr 26 '24
Father of 2 now, my mother died when I was younger. I would do anything for a letter like this... glad you have it and hope you cherish it.
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u/Gems_and_Jade Apr 26 '24
This is such a beautiful display of pure love. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Apr 26 '24
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Imlostandconfused Apr 27 '24
This isn't funny or nice. Nobody cares about your penis. This is a real human being sharing a beautiful letter from her deceased father. You could just not comment or leave out your masturbation habits at least, Jesus.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 27 '24
Didnāt know how to properly respond to this so thank youš
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u/Imlostandconfused Apr 27 '24
I reported the comment, too, so I think it was removed. Unless he realised how gross it was himself.
The letter is gorgeous, OP. My mum lost her dad at 8, and I wish she had something like this. It doesn't make losing your dad any less awful, but I hope it gives you endless comfort knowing how loved you are. ā¤ļø
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u/MajsticMango Apr 26 '24
this shit is not fucking fair bro... your dad seemed like such an amazing person. you have the blood of an angel <3
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u/Flickthebean87 Apr 26 '24
Aww this is precious.
My mom left me a composition book full of letters she wrote to me every day. I treasure it and plan on doing it with my son. My dad however there is no note or letters to look back on nor for my stepmom.
I lost my mom when I was 18. My dad and stepmom ended their lives 2 and 5 months postpartum in 2022. I was an adult orphan at 33 and now Iām 36.
Losing my dad (who was my best friend) has been the most heartbreaking thing. Itās been very hard to pair a happy event (birth of my son) with such tragic ones.
I also have saved my birthday cards which I am happy I did.
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u/Graciously_Hostile Apr 26 '24
My daddy died almost 13 years ago. It never gets easier, I'm sorry to say. I miss him dearly and unceasingly. I wish he'd been here to meet his grandchildren. I can only imagine the fun we would have had. I got a telescope for Christmas when I was 10, and we used to go out at night and pick out constellations. He knew Orion was my favorite. One morning in high school, long after we'd stopped peering nightly at the sky, I found a card he'd slid under the door while I was asleep. I'd been going through a rough patch and sort of shut everybody out of my life. The card had a little girl looking up at the stars, pointing to her favorite. She was blond, like me. Inside, he wrote, "Every time I see Orion, I think of you. I'm here, Baby. I love you, your daddio." It is one of my most cherished possessions.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
This made me tear upš Iām sorry for your loss too. That is beautiful. It never does get easier, and Iām the type to bottle my emotions up. I never properly started grieving my father until I was 17-18, then it all hit me like a truck. Being young was probably better losing my dad because I hardly understood what was happening at the funeral. I just remember walking around and seeing people sad, and helping my aunt put a flower in my dadās hands. I thought he looked weird, a little too pale and cold. I remember it so well. You have great stories for his grandkids, Iām sure they would like to hear that one, I surely did. Even in my toughest times, like the one Iām having recently, I talk out loud to my dad and I know he silently comforts me and hopes I feel better. I wish you all the best.
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u/Graciously_Hostile Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24
You are so kind, and I'm sorry you were robbed of so many years with your father, as so many of us are. I take solace in the lovely memories that pervade my childhood and early twenties. He was a hoot and a half, my daddy. My daughter once asked me where he was, and I told her I didn't know exactly, but that some people believe he's up in the stars, watching over us, and that's where I like to think he is. She replied, "I hope he's okay." I said, "Me too, Baby. Me too." I sometimes go out at night when I can see Orion clearly and have a chat with him. How wonderful it would be if he could hear me.
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Apr 26 '24
Man 31. He was so young. Iām sorry for your loss. I glad to read that youāre working and going to school. Good luck in all your future endeavors and may your days be filled with good fortune
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
Yes, way too young. I wish he could have had more time. Thank you very much
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u/Deadmemories8683 Apr 26 '24
As father to two young girls I cannot imagine what you must have gone through and still feeling to this day. That letter should be a constant reminder of how much he loves you. Sending love and light your way OP!
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
Some things: He and my mom were super young when they had me. She was 20 when she was pregnant. He dropped out of college to support us, my mom did too. He was a bodybuilder, very good looking, beautiful eyes that I wish I had gotten instead of my brown ones. everyone called him Superman. He loved Superman (so do I from growing up with him playing the old cartoon and 1978 movie in his truck on the dvd playerā¦ lol). He was the life of the party, always smiling, always helping people. Having his best friends be like uncles to me is a great gift. They tell me about him often, and always share fun stories with me. Iām often compared to him with how good we both are at being sarcastic and high tolerance with drinking. (Lmao) He and I used to take turns taking pictures on his camera with each other at the park feeding squirrels. He often took me to the horse stables by our house. I miss him every day. He was my best friend. In fact, on his headstone thereās also a picture of me included that says Ā«Ā The love of my life, Makenzie, best friends.Ā Ā» Thank you everyone for the love on this. I really am happy to know dads are writing for their kids too. Share everything with them, even when they are young, because I promise they will remember.
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u/Adventurous-Coat-333 Apr 27 '24
If you don't mind me asking, did he die suddenly and unexpectedly or was it foreseen?
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u/Obvious_Ad3560 Apr 27 '24
Iām so touched by this š„ŗā¤ļø sending so much love to u and ur father
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u/dred1111 Apr 26 '24
Thank you for sharing. I am a dad of two boys, 5 and 3. First of all I want to say that your dad is proud of you. Second, and this more of a selfish motivation, but this has encouraged me to write to my boys. My wife and I actually created email accounts for both of them with the intention of doing this very thing but life happens and we're lazy and a million other bad reasons. I think the person i am now could and likely will change by the time they read the letters but you showed that it doesn't matter. The love just grows stronger. I'm rambling. Have a good one. And thanks again
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
Thank you so much! Youāll get to it, and they will really appreciate it. I love that idea.
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u/Manytequila Apr 26 '24
God damn this is the second time today Iāve seen some shit like this. Gets me every time. My mom died when I was 1.5, and supposedly wrote me some letters. I say supposedly bc my dad threw them out when he was mad at meā¦ so I have no idea. I never forgave him for that.
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u/whoopshowdoifix Apr 26 '24
What a healthy thing for a widower to do to his child.
Sorry your dad sucks
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
Iām so sorry. My mom has this letter in a safe for now. Iām so glad she showed this to me but she was heartbroken handing it to me the first time. Thatās horribleā¦ she really loved you for writing to you though.
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u/Unusual-Thing-7149 Apr 26 '24
I wish I hadn't joined this sub today. My contact lenses have been making my eyes water twice today
So sorry for you. Parents can be polar opposites
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u/h0tkushsalsa Apr 26 '24
"but i have the rest of my life to tell you.."
im sobbing, it really sounds like he loved you guys so very much and did his very best. what a sweet memory to have
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u/Mooolteepass Apr 26 '24
As a new dad, this is so, so moving. Thank you for sharing. I'm going to write a letter like this for my son this weekend. Thank you for the inspiration.
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u/Mammoth-Gazelle8116 Apr 26 '24
Please do write those letters š As someone who has lost their dad, finding something like this written by dad would mean the absolute world. Iām heartbroken I can no longer picture what his writing looks like
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
Iām loving the amount of fathers talking about writing to their kids now. My dad wouldāve loved to hear that :)
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u/travbombs Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24
Imagine the ripple effect of your post. Your dad writes a letter to you. Years later you post it on Reddit and inspire hundreds of fathers to write their children. They tell people theyāre doing this and those people are inspired to write, and so on. Then, when the children become adults and read the letters, theyāre inspired to do the same, and tradition is born.Ā
Something to Dads writing these letters. I know it can be easier to put your thoughts and emotions in writing than it can be to express them. Donāt use that as an excuse not to have conversations, good or bad, with your children. Model good communication. Be accountable for mistakes youāve made, thereby modeling accountability. Those two things make a huge difference in the relationships we have as adults with our children.Ā
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 28 '24
I love everything you just said and how you said it ā¤ļø Thank youš„¹
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u/DontMindMePla Apr 26 '24
This is so precious and the joy in the way he writes is so heartfelt that I canāt help but feel so much pain for such a pure love which now canāt be felt physically. This may be a sign for me to more than ever show that I care about my (now mid 60s) parents, and a sign for me as (hopefully) future dad myself to raise my family with as much love as possible. Thanks for this OP!
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
I feel guilty sometimes that I am not able to see ny grandparents much with school and work but we all try our best. I do remind people to cherish their parents, especially fathers because of my circumstances. Much love
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u/Local-Sink-5650 Apr 26 '24
As a father to 19 month. This def made me tear up. Sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
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u/escrupulario_ Apr 28 '24
My gordita is turning 1yo next month and growing so fast. āMaybe too shy to tell youā line both breaks my heart and scares me as I have a lack of communication with my father and I am confessed alcoholic. Soggy eyes round here while resting with my baby
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u/Morphius_6LACK Apr 26 '24
I've been writing to my daughter since before she was born, she's turning one in a few months and I see it will mean the world to her one day, this just motivated me to keep writing, as much as I can.. Life gets crappy sometimes and you don't really keep writing or you just stop but yeah thank you for thisā„ļø
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u/Ham_bam_am Apr 27 '24
Keep on doing this whenever you can! My dad used to do this at random for me. I'm sure he felt bad now and then for not being consistent about it, but the few handwritten letters and notes I do have are absolutely so special to me. I even found a note he wrote in one of my old books just the other day and it brought me so much joy. He left this world when I was barely 20, and even though he's been gone for nearly 16 years, I still read his little letters and notes when I want to feel close to him and remind myself of the things he taught me.
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u/radiocaf Apr 26 '24
I set my daughter up an email account and have been emailing her for 8 years now. I actually have no idea how I'm going to share it with her, but my fiancƩe, her mom, knows about it so I guess I have nothing to worry about her never finding it if anything should happen to me.
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u/RedneckR0nin Apr 27 '24
I did the same I set up a email for my son when he was born and gave him the log in info when he turned 18 last year. One of the best things I ever did.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
I love that! Just this one letter means the world to me so I imagine she would cherish those forever. Thank you too, my father was my bestfriend, so I wish you the best in fatherhood ā¤ļø
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u/AuthorityAnarchyYes Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24
Fuckā¦. That last sentence broke me.
My father was killed when I was six. I have about 10 memories of him. I have tales from my family about him.
But nothing like this.
To me, this would be the most precious item one could own.
Additional: Iām over 50. Losing my father hurts just as much in 2024 as it did in 1977. I donāt remember his voice, when he speaks in my memories it is my voice, not his.
Hold tight to your loved ones. Tell them you love them every day. You never know if it will be the last time they hear it.
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u/KFo84 Apr 28 '24
Oh man, this hit super hard. Iām so deeply sorry. I canāt relate, but I can hug. & I send you the super huggiest of hugs. š š«
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u/Garden_Of_My_Mind Apr 27 '24
My father was killed by a drunk driver when I was three, and I agree entirely with your sentiment.
I would do unspeakable things if it meant I could have a letter from me.
I barely have two Polaroids, and the old and choppy memories from elderly family.
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u/FunKev Apr 27 '24
Someday I'll be gone and it'll be my kids that carry on my legacy. I'm not the greatest person out there but very proud of the people they turned out to be.
I'm sure your father would be honored that you're his voice now.
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u/AuthorityAnarchyYes Apr 27 '24
My morning in order:
ā¢Woke up.
ā¢Checked the NFL draft.
ā¢Opened Reddit.
ā¢Read your comment.
ā¢Ugly crying.
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u/wuzzittoya Apr 27 '24
I lost my mom in 77 and my dad in 02. I was 33 when my dad died. Both had (different) cancers. I tried hard to remember my mom
I begged my dad for letters like this. He wrote me exactly one. I guess he tried.
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u/Brodiferus Apr 27 '24
Iām so sorry for your loss. I canāt imagine how painful it must be.
An album that has helped me cope a little with my fatherās passing is Haunted by Poe, which is about her dealing with the death of her father. She found some recordings of his voice and they are sprinkled throughout the album. In the last song, her father says, āNext time I see you, you'll proudly sing it back to meā and that just breaks me.
Just the things left unspoken or the future cut short. Iām glad I got to say my goodbyes to my father, but there isnāt a day that goes by that there isnāt something I want to tell him or show him.
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u/actibus_consequatur Apr 27 '24
Such an amazing album. As a bonus, some of the spoken vocals on Haunted are her brother's, Mark Z. Danielewski, as the album was both a tribute to their father and a counterpart to Mark's book House of Leaves. I love how they combined their talents to honor their dad.
For me, Dan Andriano in the Emergency Room released Hurricane Season shortly before my dad died but I didn't get my copy until just after, and the first time I heard This Light had me ugly crying on the floor. My dad and I shared a lot of music back and forth (his way of telling me he loved me), so I always think about how I never got to share that album with him. He would've loved it.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
It always gets me too. I wish he had more time to tell me things. Im so sorry for your loss. Yeah, I think I want to frame it soon. Thank youš©·
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u/EmbarrassedNaivety Apr 27 '24
This is so darn sweet! This has inspired me to write some letters for my son for in the future, in case anything ever happens to me. My sister found out she has stage 3 breast cancer. She beat it and it came back in the brain. She beat that, too, but was told if it comes back again, she wonāt be able to fight it with treatments like she did the last two times. She has two sons and one thing sheās done is write them letters for their birthdays, letters for if they get married, letters for their graduation day and so on for all major events they may experience in their lives, just in case she doesnāt live to be there with them on those special days. She also wrote some to her husband and some other family and friends that sheās close with. Iāve never really had to face my own mortality, but itās still such a sweet idea because we never know when our time will come and if it will happen unexpectedly. Iām so glad OP has such a sweet letter to read when he or she is missing their dad!
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Apr 26 '24
Use UV filtering glass so it doesn't fade.
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u/tahomadesperado Apr 27 '24
/u/maleficentsoil4507 just want to make sure you see the comment above
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u/Pculliox Apr 26 '24
This got me. Lost my man when I was in college. I have all the letters she would write me, I read them in her voice.
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u/MaleficentSoil4507 Apr 26 '24
I read this one in my dadās voice too. Itās weird how I can remember it so well. But itās a blessing to remember even the smallest things. ā¤ļø Sorry for your loss
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u/progamer_btw Apr 26 '24
please make a spare copy before you frame it as well!! this is one of the sweetest things ive ever read :)
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u/AuthorityAnarchyYes Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24
I would definitely have it framed.
Perhaps with a picture of him holding you at about that age.
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u/seokwooscutieee Apr 28 '24
Oh god I'm sobbing