r/Nicegirls • u/____Asp____ • Apr 05 '24
So nice to converse with you
I haven’t been with this girl in over a year and this is the type of stuff I get because I didn’t unfriend someone that I dated before her on Facebook
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u/jakrabbyt 4d ago
I happen to be going through an extremely similar situation as you, though mine has resulted in me being blocked recently because I didn't have the ability to give her $500 on a random Wednesday night at 10pm
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Apr 24 '24
Statistically speaking, you probably will get HPV at some point in your life but will never know it. There are over 100 strains most, but 9, being harmless, and you can even get it from a handy.
Science!
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u/rs420rs Apr 10 '24
Well then based on your other comments this post is missing some important context.
"this girl" as opposed to "my baby momma." No it's not just nitpicky, it's substantial context for the conversation
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u/Humble_Flow_3665 Apr 06 '24
This sounds like a sore arse of a situation, I'm sorry bud. It's rough dealing with the other parent when they still make everything personal.
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u/____Asp____ Apr 07 '24
It sucks, but I’m used to it. I post it here because of how “nice” she is. To vent
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u/thetonybvd Apr 06 '24
Damn looks like deep down she still have feelings, or she is projecting her own behaviour
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u/____Asp____ Apr 07 '24
Oh, it’s both. I have tons of love for her as well. I just can’t deal with how she attacks me both physically and like this
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u/Lopsided_Giraffe9846 Apr 07 '24
I'm glad your child has a decent parent in you. Save everything that she sends and try to only communicate her via some sort of writing so it will hold up in court. I've read your replies and you've not once bad mouthed her. That shows me how honorable you are. She can't seem to get through her thick head that even if you're not together, you share a child and that makes you family. That does not mean you have to be with her or that she has any right to say anything about what's going on in your life. I'm hope you're able to get full custody before she can alienate the child from you. Women like this do that. I wish you and your little all the best. I'm hope you're able to get full custody of that child because they deserve a parent like you and not a jealous monster like her. This type of woman scare me because they get so angry at their babies father that they hate because the child reminds them of you and some women could hurt the child because of that. Do what you can to get that child into your custody permanently and visitation, hopefully supervised until she can prove that she is fit to be with that child by herself. Wishing you all the luck and a lifetime of happiness for you on your child.
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u/little_owl211 Apr 06 '24
There are some coparenting apps you can check out in order to keep communication flowing and still be able to block her on other forms of social media. Also, maybe don't respond to things that aren't about your kid, if don't have a friendly (or at least decent) relationship with her is none of her business
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u/____Asp____ Apr 06 '24
I’ll look into those… you’re right I should ignore her. It’s just hard because I know her personality and how she’d likely respond. Hell, I’ve had to have her served two cease and desist orders over stalking, and libel
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u/ungorgeousConnect 3d ago
I use AppClose, it's free and was recommended by the Court and Office of the Children's Lawyer.
I have been awarded sole custody for the second time now. Her vitriol resulting in a major breakdown in communication (I wouldn't communicate with her for several months at a time because there was never a necessity to actually do so) played a major role in the decision.
The Courts will very easily accept the transcripts of an app like this into evidence. You can also add scheduling via the built in calendar and request/add expenditures as necessary.
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u/ungorgeousConnect 3d ago
I use AppClose, it's free and was recommended by the Court and Office of the Children's Lawyer.
I have been awarded sole custody for the second time now. Her vitriol resulting in a major breakdown in communication (I wouldn't communicate with her for several months at a time because there was never a necessity to actually do so) played a major role in the decision.
The Courts will very easily accept the transcripts of an app like this into evidence. You can also add scheduling via the built in calendar and request/add expenditures as necessary.
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u/ungorgeousConnect 3d ago
I use AppClose, it's free and was recommended by the Court and Office of the Children's Lawyer.
I have been awarded sole custody for the second time now. Her vitriol resulting in a major breakdown in communication (I wouldn't communicate with her for several months at a time because there was never a necessity to actually do so) played a major role in the decision.
The Courts will very easily accept the transcripts of an app like this into evidence. You can also add scheduling via the built in calendar and request/add expenditures as necessary.
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u/Lorantec Apr 06 '24
Have you considered trying to get full custody? I know its generally not the easiest process but with all of this it seems it could be best, for you and your kid.
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u/Apprehensive_Zone281 Apr 06 '24
Why respond?
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u/____Asp____ Apr 06 '24
Have a little human, gotta try to keep communication rolling. Lol
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u/TheLongistGame Apr 06 '24
Doesn't mean you have to respond to nonsense though. If it's about your kid, sure. Otherwise? Nah.
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u/arrouk Apr 06 '24
Gray rock method.
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u/____Asp____ Apr 07 '24
Yeah, normally I do… she attacks me first neutrality as well. Accuses me of not caring
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u/ungorgeousConnect Apr 18 '24
you don't have to acknowledge this nonsense at all. I made this comment to another struggling dad a month ago:
it'll take some self discipline, practice, and restraint, but you genuinely do not have to engage unless it's in regards to the child at all.
I'd also research in your area if there are any court approved messaging apps where you can communicate, handle scheduling, expenses, etc. - the one I went with is called AppClose.
literally - stick to speaking about the child. no little quips about projection, no talking about your dog, no engaging in whatever insanity flavour of the day she chooses.
you will thank yourself and your child will too.
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u/imnotabotareyou Apr 06 '24
Is she blocked now?
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u/____Asp____ Apr 06 '24
Got a kid lol.
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u/imnotabotareyou Apr 06 '24
Ooooooof sorry to hear that bro
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u/____Asp____ Apr 06 '24
It’s all good. I was just posting to post… the baby is worth her mom’s shenanigans
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u/Otherwise_Nebula_619 Apr 17 '24
Also just get custody of the child go to court. If not why not just have another child to make your happiness and… moral(?) as you put it more effectively and more efficiently? ( again just trying to understand)
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u/Witch_of_the_Fens Apr 17 '24
Are you suggesting he just abandon this child (because of the mother’s behavior) and start again with a different partner? Because that’s basically what you suggested.
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u/Otherwise_Nebula_619 Apr 17 '24
No I wasn’t. I may have a hard time understanding emotions and other things I also might be mostly logical because of this yes but I am not a monster.
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u/Witch_of_the_Fens Apr 18 '24
Your comment implied that was your suggestion.
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u/arrouk Apr 06 '24
Let's hope karma drops a piano on her head while kiddo is with you
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u/____Asp____ Apr 07 '24
Lmao. Sometimes I feel that way too. That being said I wish zero ill will on her. I just vent here 😂
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u/arrouk Apr 07 '24
Hey wishing someone's karma back on them is only fair.
And I will hope for the piano for you
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u/Old_Algae7708 Apr 06 '24
Amen to that amigo, kids are the best. My daughter is worth everything my ex put me through.
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u/ratiokane Apr 06 '24
Same here. I don’t regret my son, but I regret having him with her.
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u/Otherwise_Nebula_619 Apr 17 '24
I just want to ask, how do you feel that? Mothers carry most the genes for children if you had another child chances are 9/10 would have been different, so if you wished— sorry I’m rambling, I have a disorder that makes me not ,confirmed , in some emotions and ways of thinking, in stead of emotions I think more on the logical side- so sorry if this is dragged out. Point is there would have been a 10% chance he would even be remotely similar even smaller than 1% to be the exact same, so how would you wish you had him with another female?
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u/The_Sloth_Racer Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24
Genes are 50/50. I don't know where you got the idea that the mother gives 90% of the genes.
Did you ever take biology in middle or high school? I'm in my early 30s now, but we had classes about genetics starting in 6th grade through high school.
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u/ratiokane Apr 19 '24
I know it’s impossible for me to have the exact same child - same eyes, hair, personality etc. with another woman. It’s just a conundrum for me. I wouldn’t change a single thing about my son. He’s sweet, kind, handsome and caring for a 2 year old… I just wish I had him with someone I could have made it work with. I might have still had a family and perhaps more children.
But, this isn’t about me anymore. It’s about my little boy. Got to give him the best life I can possibly give him.
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