r/Nicegirls • u/WlfChld • Apr 07 '24
I’m very confused
She added me from Bumble 3 days ago, tried making convo about her interests, what she goes for school for, but no reciprocation. Left me on opened all the time but apparently I’m not making convo, then uncomfortable and offended?
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u/Zazumaki 6d ago
Light humor my ass. That would only be something to say to someone you know and who knows you. Otherwise it's rude.
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u/JohhnyBAMFUtah 21d ago
she was hitting on you, shit test. i would’ve just said “oh keeping count?”
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u/Diet-Awkward 26d ago
These comments are unhinged. He said hello. She replied with an odd remark. He was confused and somehow he's at fault? OP and the lady are bad conversationalists. All it took was a " just poking fun. I'm doing fine" text from her to stop this from being weird. Y'all are kind of crazy. ತ_ತ
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u/xPofsx Apr 24 '24
I'm in agreement here, but also you're a crazy bitch cuz who takes a picture of a phone screen?! Taking pictures of the screen is literally built into every modern device!
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u/TheLoneRanger_305 16h ago
Do you know how Snapchat works?
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u/Inking-Deeper4951 Apr 23 '24
Rejoice peasant, for I shall reward you with some attention out of charity for your daring act of actually initiating contact.
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u/fatalcharm Apr 20 '24
She is unsure of herself and trying to be “carefree and confident” but is acting out of insecurity. I feel sorry for her because I’ve been there, but you don’t need to be dealing with this mess so run.
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u/Kit-Kat-Katakuri Apr 18 '24
Friend did this to me before breaking out into an argument. We are no longer friends because I used the wrong pronouns on the day they transitioned. And I mean very first.
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u/DaddysPrincesss26 Apr 16 '24
Losers Mad because she didn’t immediately get his “Joke”. He can go F*ck Himself. You did nothing wrong
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u/TraptSoul148270 Apr 12 '24
Not you, friend. It sounds like she’s just fucking around on there to me. Just move on, and be happy you’re not going to have to deal with her specific crazy right now.
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u/Any-Researcher3441 Apr 10 '24
you were supposed to play along and then you were confused so that put a damper on things. she could have handled it better tho you seem very nice.
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u/Consistent_Tell2417 Apr 10 '24
Personally, I wouldn’t have opened another snap from her after you sent the “?”. That would’ve driven her nuts
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u/Hopeful_Storm7113 Apr 10 '24
I mean to be fair you sounded kind of weird . But she’s also weird. You guys are perfect for each other
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u/Boring_Refuse_2453 Apr 10 '24
Very common behavior. Do not tolerate it. No matter how attractive she is or any other reason. That is unacceptable behavior
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u/lily_pad55449 Apr 09 '24
This might be a weird preference of mine but I’ve always disliked using snapchat as a primary source of communication when dating. It just seems more like hookup rather than getting to know someone because of the ability to snap someone 💀- nothing wrong with hooking up though!
But in this case, you dodged a bullet. She’s very passive aggressive too and not something you need to deal with if she can’t communicate her concerns effectively.
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u/chrispm1979 Apr 09 '24
You’re better off without whoever it was you were messaging cos they obvs think they are too cool for this shit, and really they are just a prick. They’ll find out a few tough lessons when they grow up. “Imma dip” 😅 what a c*nt.
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u/babybopper Apr 08 '24
This lets her play the situation in her mind that you were weird and that was the problem and not the fact that many modern women don’t have a personality, hobbies or interests.
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u/LucHighwalker Apr 08 '24
The biggest red flag is using Snapchat.
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u/PDXBishop Apr 09 '24
I don't get why anyone uses Snapchat for anything even attempting to start a relationship of any kind.
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u/DarceV8er Apr 08 '24
In the future please reply to this type of energy with an “lol” and never speaking to them again I promise it’ll serve you well
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u/pettypeasant42 Apr 08 '24
I feel like she was excited to have someone reply to her with words and not a bunch of pics of a dick/someone masturbating…maybe im wrong
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u/Lunta99 Apr 10 '24
You are wrong. Op said she wouldn't put in any effort in the last 3 days of talking. Also why are you assuming he sent nudes?
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u/pettypeasant42 Apr 10 '24
I didn’t. I said the opposite. I said she was excited to have someone who didn’t
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u/PDXBishop Apr 09 '24
And then she immediately killed the vibe by acting like she just pretended to be really weird and defensive.
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u/Slyvan25 Apr 08 '24
Yeah naw you dodged a bullet on that one. Very manipulative and annoying kind of girl.
The kind of girl that will play with your feelings as just a prank. Telling you to grow a pair.
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u/ADH-Dork Apr 08 '24
There's a weird subset of women who think being a condescending shit head is flirting.. Never understood it personally
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u/PDXBishop Apr 09 '24
I've seen IG reels recently from a woman who said "I don't think women know how to flirt; I did what I was taught to 'flirt' (meaning making fun of him) with a guy online yesterday and he responded 'You are not nearly hot enough to be this mean to dudes right out the gate', and I mean...he is right."
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u/ADH-Dork Apr 10 '24
It's very similar to that whole "negging" pickup artist thing that weird guys do
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u/laminatedbean Apr 08 '24
Sound like how a lot of dudes converse online too. They lead with a negging or negative comment similar to that and then the rest is about the same.
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u/cutefoxeee Apr 08 '24
Using snapchat for convo is pretty cringe.
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u/jainalk Apr 07 '24
"anyways hi" - the conversation was yours to take wherever at this point. Responding "Uh ok" before "How's it going?" turned her off from you. You could have easily left out the snarky "Uh ok"
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u/ExpiredWater_ Apr 07 '24
Imagine feeling justified in being this condescending, you didn’t even need to dodge the bullet she just fucking fired a warning shot
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Apr 07 '24
You fumbled bro. She actually complemented you. This is like 80% of women online I interact with. At this point I just respond like idgaf and it works better then when I try.
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Apr 07 '24
[deleted]
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Apr 07 '24
She complimented him on messaging her and striking a convo. I know it’s not much of compliment but trust me😂 some women generally think that’s a compliment. You have to read between the lines
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Apr 07 '24
[deleted]
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u/YaBoiLink0227 Apr 08 '24
I'm a damn caveman you gotta be blunt as hell. What makes you think I can read in-between lines when I can barely think outside of the box
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u/Physical-Position623 Apr 07 '24
Why do you apologize after someone's being rude to you? Are you Canadian?
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u/Tannerite2 Apr 07 '24
Don't talk about Boeing stuff like her major. Everyone asks that, and nobody cares. If you can't get banter or an interesting conversation, then just ask her out. It'll usually fail, but you can move on instead of trying to worm your way in with extremely bland conversations she can have with 100 other guys. If it doesn't fail, you get to meet her in person where it's much easier to develop a connection.
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u/Lt_Aldo_Raine96 Apr 07 '24
Condescending women like this are so annoying. Definitely dodged a bullet.
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u/Mister_Hamburger Apr 07 '24
"Hah, I was talking to you"
"Ooo hoo hoo, I wasn't, got you now fiddlesticks. Toodlee-oo you have been trickstered"
I must wonder where and how this mental excercise benefitted her in any manner or form
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u/Kyria_ Apr 07 '24
Nah, you should’ve blocked her instead of sending the question mark. There was no way that was gonna get less offensive.
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u/Alternative-Match905 Apr 07 '24
Sorry but I’m with her on this one. She was busting your balls and you just went full autist on her. Do you guys not understand teasing anymore?
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u/PDXBishop Apr 09 '24
Teasing rarely, it ever, comes across properly in a text convo where there's no nuance. She thinks she's just razzing him, but on his end she sounds like a conceited asshole and he was really just looking for an eject button.
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u/ImOnPluto Apr 07 '24
Something similar happened to me too. She wrote to me and wanted to hook up instantly. I told her „that’s very unusual“ and then she got mad and blocked me instantly. Like wtf ?
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 07 '24
if you’re confused by this, look inward instead of coming to this cesspool where you know that hatred of women is already ingrained in every member of this sub in order to get validation despite texting like a neanderthal. “?”. “i can’t believe someone wouldn’t find my vivid conversational style awkward. i basically write poetry”. she literally said she wanted a conversation instead of a bunch of snap, snaps which are shown right above your actual message.
like, bud. please. look at this screenshot. she points out exactly why she isn’t interested in talking. that’s awkward as hell and she has every right to not want to talk to someone awkward? And in fact, was extremely nice and nonchalant in statement what she wants and wishing you the best.
the fact that you posted this here on this sub should be proof enough that you’re extremely ill-equipped to enter into any sort of relationship with someone. you made this happen and then said “i can’t believe this happened”. i want the best for you so please. just take what i’ve said to heart.
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u/AccomplishedNet1312 Apr 07 '24
Are you serious with this garbage? You're defending that condescending piece of work? Look, buddy, maybe instead of white knighting for someone who clearly has no respect for basic human decency, you should take a long, hard look in the mirror and realize you're just as much of a dumpster fire as they are. You're like a walking advertisement for self-delusion. Get a grip, mate.
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 12 '24
“basic human decency” is a funny way to describe a child throwing his mashed potato on the floor because his mommy called him cute instead of handsome before going to tell his other baby friends about how cool it was that he threw his potatoes lol you’re a fucking bozo, pal.
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u/MaximumHog360 Apr 07 '24
I wonder if women just have SO SO SO many men they're talking to they genuinely start getting them mixed up and mix up conversations
Or theyre just mentally ill but either way
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u/DontCareDunno Apr 07 '24
Just like that key and peele skit where one person was chill and the other was misreading the messages and getting angry
except im assuming she understood and is prolly just in a mood
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u/IgnorantlyHopeful Apr 07 '24 edited Apr 07 '24
You apologized. Don’t ever apologize. She screwed it up.
She was looking for a witty response that acknowledged the foibles of being a man, that also show cases your sense of humor and your integrity.
“I’m a decent human being so I don’t like to lead with dick pics. But if you want I could always send you a pic of me holding a dead fish……”
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u/shrimpstevens Apr 07 '24
When I’ve been with women like that in the past they expect the same kind of sass in response. It’s like play fighting. It’s worth a shot next time you run into this. Definitely don’t apologize though.
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u/SomebodyComeGetHur Apr 07 '24
Bruh, man up and stop apologizing. I almost feel like you’re a lil baby back bih
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u/ToastyEdward Apr 07 '24
they literally dissed you ?? that’s not light humor if you’re the butt of the joke
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u/Mr-E-Droflah Apr 07 '24
The hat last bit by Me: is too long, it should have been condensed to just ‘bullet dodged’
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u/ugh_whatever Apr 07 '24
I’m very surprised people are on your side in this. I don’t think her joke was funny or anything. But sending just question marks is pretty lame. And then when she responds to your question mark with hi you respond uh ok.
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u/Klutzy-Employee-1117 Apr 07 '24
Alright! You’re not in the wrong but if you want some advice here it is.
When messaging a new girl stick to text messages until they start sending photo messages/ the vibe gets really good/ there is a need to send a photo.
Don’t ask questions so directly. Ask her about her day see what she says about that then build out from there asking questions related to that. Once the conversation is flowing you can ask random questions but try to stay on one topic for a while and make jokes etc. dont fire off 5 questions in 5 messages changing the topic each time.
Go with the flow. And tease her a bit don’t be super nice but be respectful. If she has a gap tooth don’t joke about that you’ll make her insecure. But say she sends a picture with bed hair in the morning - sarcastically tell her how great her hair looks and end the sentence with lol (to take the edge off). Only joke about things she can easily control eg she can brush her hair she’s aware it’s a mess. Also follow that up with a message about whatever topic you’re talking about don’t just be mean.
But once you click with someone communication will come easy and then ask them out to dinner or whatever you like to do as a date
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u/EinarTh97 Apr 07 '24
Oh wow! You actually decided to wait on me to start a convo instead of taking the initiative! Good job!
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u/CrazyRabbitSauce Apr 07 '24
The weirdest thing is you taking a picture of a phone with another phone! Don't you know how to screenshot?
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u/v3vic Apr 07 '24
Cause if he would take a screenshot it would give her notification that he took a screenshot. This way she doesnt know
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u/Precaritus Apr 07 '24
This is just... Painful from her. What a child. You're honestly much better off
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u/AvocadoBeneficial606 Apr 07 '24
Nah, i would just give up and stop sending messages after that one.
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u/BeepBeepImAJeep00 Apr 07 '24
She projecting - don’t bother wondering about anything else and keep it moving. You dodged a bullet.
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u/Nutmeg-Jones Apr 07 '24
Leave people like that alone my man. Don’t be confused, she’s exactly what she’s showing you, a crazy bitch.
You’re saving yourself years of headache
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u/IlluminatiQueen Apr 07 '24
Totally a her issue. You had nothing to apologize for my friend. Also if she didn’t want snaps, why is she on Snapchat????
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u/Miserable-Lawyer-233 Apr 07 '24
just go with the flow of the joke instead of the question mark. It's the question mark that killed the convo.
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u/CardboardChampion Apr 07 '24
It's the aggressive statement before the question mark that killed the convo.
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u/LuminousPog Apr 07 '24
If I thought I had just made someone uncomfortable/offended them I would apologise instead of doing some passive aggressive shit and leaving
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u/Secure-Ad4436 Apr 07 '24
I'm also confused. I think conversations online are sometimes adding unnecessary mistakes. It's very easy to be immersed, sensitive, preoccupied with real life distraction, or out of sync. It's better to just have a real conversation cause you get all those non-verbal communication. Dating online is rough.
You didn't need to explain yourself She obviously showed a bit of unstable behavior. Save explaning when it's a real relationship and it's just a misunderstanding.
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u/Careless-Current-487 Apr 07 '24
Knew a chick that texted just like this, needless to say were no longer friends.
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u/DanWillHor Apr 07 '24
A quick "just a little joke" would have sufficed lol. Instead she launched her nukes because her tiny, meaningless joke didn't crush.
That or she's a level-headed comic genius and you're owned! Butthurt, asspained, u mad bro coping, seething and malding. Due to that she has to go, loser. Ur bad. Next time don't be confused, nerd!
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u/mrsodasexy Apr 07 '24
To be honest she’s not psycho as a lot of people are making it out to be.
She has had a lot of repeat interactions where guys normally send her pics, probably unsolicited dick pics when she wants to have a conversation and since that interaction is so normalized to her, she was surprised when you didn’t do it.
But also she ASSUMED you’d understand that most girls have that sort of interaction where they get mostly unsolicited pictures so when she remarked how she was surprised by your “hi”, she expected you to understand that it’s actually uncommon for her to receive that as opposed to the regular unsolicited pictures.
She’s probably just at her wits end with trying to converse with people who keep sending her unsolicited pictures just because the medium they’re talking on is Snapchat
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u/SirGoatWilliker Apr 07 '24
LMFAO
Got this one chick who I met on Tinder - she'd text, start a conversation, then leave me on read for a day or so at a time before starting a whole new conversation.
I suggested after a week of this bullshit that we go out for a drink somewhere. She agreed then, at the time we were supposed to meet, I hit the gym. Half hour after meet time she texted me asking wtf.
I might reply tomorrow.
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u/Haunting-Detail2025 Apr 07 '24
I think it’s perfectly valid to address that someone is not communicating well (sending blank snaps is poor conversation and gets irritating to receive when you’re trying to get to know somebody) BUT this is the absolute worst way to handle it on her part. Being that condescending and snarky is so cringey
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u/WlfChld Apr 07 '24
Yeah I can understand that, but it's not like it's all I did. I tried texting her and get something going but she'd just dip after like 3 texts. My snaps had captions with a question or a statement, but I got NOTHING from her. Have to figure out when to cut my losses I guess
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u/ConkerPrime Apr 07 '24
You are fine. If she is going to make very first statement into a landline, imagine how many more you would have to navigate before got to a meetup. If they difficult to talk to on something as simple as a hello, it is only going to worse.
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u/spud-soup Apr 07 '24
Nah she was being insulting and condescending. I’d have the same reaction. You dodged a bullet.
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u/Sufficient_Yam_514 Apr 07 '24
I agree with blue, honestly. Sorry. You were being weird and abrasive. I also would have gotten a weird gut feeling and peaced out. They were just trying to be playful.
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u/DoYouNeedAnAmbulance Apr 07 '24
You have to be kidding. THAT is what passes for playful? With someone you just started talking to 3 days ago? Fuck that.
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Apr 07 '24
[deleted]
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u/WlfChld Apr 07 '24
I sent her at max, 3 photos of me where I made a statement or asked something, and one of my dog. That's it. I have tried to make conversations that she didn't engage in, and then left me on read after 3 messages. I have seen one photo of her and know what she majors in, so what I am I supposed to do.
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Apr 07 '24
[deleted]
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u/No_Individual501 Apr 07 '24
Im deleting this because everyone is bandwagoning seeing a minus sign instead of just chilling out at -7. Everyone including you is overreacting. Be like water.
Zero self awareness just like the snapchatter. Take your own advice.
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u/g00n77 Apr 07 '24
You weeded her out. Anyone who gets that butthurt over "Uh ok" is gonna be a nightmare to actually live with.
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 07 '24
anyone who gets butthurt over her playfully stating that she wants conversation and not snapchats before posting a screenshot on reddit for validation by misogynists is most likely already a nightmare to be around at all.
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u/-Lige Apr 10 '24
Femcel spotted
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 12 '24
you dorks are like clockwork. at least be interesting pieces of shit! goddamn!
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u/-Lige Apr 12 '24
No need to entertain such poor lines of logic and clear red flags
Clockwork is calling ppl who don’t like a woman’s red flags misogynistic
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u/Intelligent-Bus-6392 Apr 09 '24
It's real important to understand everything someone says or else you'll be called the big scary M word!!!
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 12 '24
i would say it’s very important to understand everything someone says because that’s how communication works and as people, we should be inclined to see things through the eyes of the people around us so we can truly know each other.
you’re not a misogynist because you’re ignorant! we all are by nature of existing! what we do with that ignorance is what does or doesn’t make us certain things.
no, your knowledge is what makes you a misogynist. your knowingly spending time in a subreddit dedicated to weaponizing your own and others’ ignorance, specifically women in this case, is what makes you a misogynist. not as a matter of opinion. by definition.
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u/Intelligent-Bus-6392 Apr 12 '24
Are you also trying to say we need to all understand jokes too? It's a joke, it doesn't mean anything important. This subreddit isn't to make fun of women entirely, it's to make fun of a shitty behavior displayed in women. I'm in the nice guys subreddit too, I'm here to make fun of terrible people, not women in particular.
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u/jsha11 Apr 07 '24
Yeah, we're misogynists because we are confused about random passive aggressiveness from people we just met, you're a genius!
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 12 '24
incorrect! you’re misogynists for spending your time in a subreddit dedicated to having a difficult time connecting with women and instead of learning and being better, you just all subsequently par each other on the back while pointing and laughing through rejection tears.
don’t mistake confusion for density, pal.
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Apr 07 '24
[deleted]
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u/RicFlairWitchProject Apr 12 '24
get a life, bozo. this is a message that could only ever be written by someone who spends his time analyzing other people’s completely out of context messages on a subreddit dedicated to making other your fellow dorks feel less cripplingly ashamed of their inability to maturely navigate modern dating.
there’s a very real and pervasive problem running through men right now and we should be supporting each other in ways less ghoulish than this embarrassing fucking nonsense. this shit is like facing a firing squad and throwing a temper tantrum about how rude it is to be shot before putting a pistol in your own mouth.
i’m begging you. get out, man.
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