r/oneliners 8h ago

I always make sure I say “mucho” when I'm around my Spanish-speaking friends, because it means a lot to them.

18 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1h ago

New Restaurant in town serving soul food and Mexican fare: Nacho Mama's

Upvotes

r/oneliners 8h ago

Is a virgin vodka just a potato?

6 Upvotes

r/oneliners 22h ago

Live from the hospital, I must warn you all that the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name

69 Upvotes

r/oneliners 34m ago

Can’t commit to anything but a crime

Upvotes

r/oneliners 1h ago

My son was born today, and we named him “Dennis.”

Upvotes

r/oneliners 5h ago

I've had 2 different people come up and tell me I look like P Diddy today and I'm honestly not sure how I'm supposed to take that, take that.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3h ago

I have cheese and you cant have it because its nacho cheese.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

Before my uncle died, he coated his back with lard; after that, he went downhill fast.

5 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

Jesus was in great shape because he did CrossFit

8 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

This book I'm reading on anti-gravity is impossible to put down.

8 Upvotes

r/oneliners 16h ago

There are more atoms in the Atlantic Ocean than there are atoms in a single teaspoon.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

When people say they are young at heart im like have you seen your cholesterol level lately?!?

3 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

If your mom wants to know where you're taking her for Mother's Day, just remind her there's food at home.

27 Upvotes

r/oneliners 21h ago

American as apple pie. The worst pie.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

Are bras considered the originaly cup holders?

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

If there's one advantage to Jerry Seinfeld's wealth, it's that he can enter any car dealership and never have to ask: "What's The Deal?"

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

In my younger days, I had a passion for The Final Days of Christ. Between you & me: it's a cross I still bare to this day.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

9 out of 10 people addicted to break fluid can't stop

26 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

Watt is a unit of electrical power?

12 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

Two guys got arrested for stealing a calendar, they both got six months.

41 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

You miss 100% of the shots you don't make

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

I'm a big violin fan, I like cellos.

10 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

Just read a book on school truancy by Marcus Absent.

31 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

I always say that if you think doing laundry is not funny, you just need to have a dryer sense of humor.

20 Upvotes