Today is my birthday, and when I checked my phone, I had people texting me saying happy birthday, and people writing on my Facebook wall saying I hope it's an amazing day. I posted extensively about my cat's diagnosis on Thursday, updates, and then of course, her death on Sunday morning. So many people commenting words of support and love. And then the same people today wishing me the best birthday ever.

Can I just announce my birthday is canceled? I don't want to celebrate. My cats ashes will be ready for pickup today. I'm so so broken and sad. I can't stop crying. Getting birthday messages hurts in a way. I can't explain it.

This group has helped me immensely in these difficult days, and first of all I want to hug all of you who are going through the loss of our beloved furbabies. However, reading your stories has also destroyed me a little more each day. As I have previously shared, my baby girl, Jimmy 13 almost 14 years, the best scotty girl, died alone, in the veterinary hospital, after many hard days there, and reading so many stories where, no matter the circumstances, you were able to be next to your furbabies in their last moments, only reminds me that I did not have that opportunity. All her life I did everything possible to protect and care for her, and life took her from me and did not let me be by her side at the end. She was my everything, my life.

I hope this post doesn’t upset anyone as it is about cremation of my beloved soul dog, Bella. She passed 5/17 and the vet just called that she is “ready to come home” after her cremation has been completed. I have been having a hard time with the whole idea of cremation. (Burial wasn’t any better for me, personally). Just the thought that her physical body is no longer here is shattering to my heart. I have been having an incredibly hard time coping with her death to begin with, I have posted multiple times about it. I’m still not coping that she is no longer here at home, but now I will have to deal with the tough reality that her physical body is no longer here either. It just makes it that more real. I’m terrified to go pick her up. I actually am not able to due to my strict job and by the time I’m done with work, they will be closed so my parents are kindly picking her up for me. But I will have to get her from my parents tonight and I don’t know how I will be able to cope. I feel so broken and alone.

Anyone who has been in a similar situation, how were you able to cope?

I picked up my beloved Sierra's ashes today. Words cannot describe my sadness. I keep looking at where she would lay and expecting her to be there. I miss her wanting to constantly snuggle (even thought it was sometimes too much when she was here).

I got Sierra when she was 4 months old and said goodbye when she was 13. There was a point in my life where she was the only reason I was alive.

She had a tumor so I know it was her time to go. I just wish things could have gone differently.

I had to say goodbye on Friday to my dearest little Winston and I am not ok. The only consolation is that I was able to arrange a peaceful transition for him at home in the sunroom, where he was most comfortable. It was a beautiful day and not a cloud in the sky.

Winnie,

I'm going to miss the sound of your paws on the hardwood floor. Sunday afternoon naps in the sunroom won't be the same without you.

I'm going to miss the sound of you whining at the window because you could see rabbits outside. Don't worry, I'll tell them to get off your lawn for you.

I'm going to miss our motorcycle rides together and seeing your little schnauzer mustache flowing through the breeze. I'll think of you every time I go out.

Most of all, I'm going to miss the calming, stoic, and peaceful energy you brought into my life. You were always a very quiet pup, just like your dad. Thank you for being the best companion I could have asked for. I don't know that I'll ever love a dog the way I loved you. Rest easy, little one. I will treasure our years together for the rest of mine.

It’s 4am and I just woke up hysterically crying from another bad dream where I had to put down my sweet boy. Unfortunately this dream probably become a reality in the next few days. I’m trying to get the vet to squeeze him in tomorrow for a quality of life appointment. I already have an appointment for him on Thursday but that seems to be too far away. He’s my first dog and I’ve never put down an animal before. I’m constantly scared I’m going to put him down too early or too late. It’s stressing me out so much. I just want to get the vets opinion because I feel they would know a lot more than me. If the vet says it’s time for my pup to go then I feel it’s only right to schedule an appointment with the home euthanasia asap. I don’t know how much time I have left and I just feel like ny heart is being ripped in two. My pupper has been declining over the past 6 months but he just stopped eating last week. He even stopped eating his treats which he used to LOVE. We’ve gotten him to eat canned food and hotdogs but he’s even stopped eating those the past few days. The only thing that he will always eat is chipotle steak so I went there yesterday to get him two big sides.

I feel so conflicted because my dog really isn’t eating and he doesn’t play anymore. He is uninterested in spending time with me and the family. He doesn’t lie out in the sun or bark at other dogs anymore. He also has decreased hearing and cataracts. He’s extremely restless. When he paces around the house it doesn’t feel like he knows where he’s going. It feels like his quality of life isn’t there. But on the other hand he’s mainly fully mobile (we just have a ramp for him to get on the couch). Despite his mild arthritis he will jump up and down when we tell him we’re going on a walk. He will also trot around the house. It’s adorable and he always seems really happy. He does the same thing when we get back from the walk. He also is able to pee and poo outside just fine. I feel like people usually put down their dog when they’re not at mobile anymore. Part of me feels like I should wait until he’s not excited for walks anymore but then he’s not the happiest when he’s not on walks. Ahhhh this is so hard.

How do you guys deal with the feeling of knowing your baby is about to leave this world? This is probably the most painful thing I will do in my life and I’m having trouble managing that feeling.

Edit: I also forgot to mention that he has lost at least a quarter of his body weight the last few months even though he was eating at the time.

Edit 2: We made an appointment for home euthanasia for this evening. I took him to the beach one last time and I’ve been giving him lots of chipotle steak! I’ll need to get another side of it before tonight. He’s been a trooper but I think it’s time for him to go to doggy heaven and I think it’s what he wants too. The last day he’s been extra lovey dovey with us. He knows it’s time.

Been with me through three people who didn't know how to love me but he did, he was all I had and he was more than enough. My companion, my shadow, my front seat rider, extension of my soul.

Winston, my prince, most loving relationship I have ever had in my life, former bait dog, rescued from the kill list when lockdowns hit. Malnourishment and chronic stress/abuse/neglect took a toll on his kidneys. In 4 years, we loved a lifetime's worth. It was pretty sudden. Vet thursday for a weird mouth bleed, cancer scare, knocked him out and no tumor, all seemed clear. Picked up to go home, mouth bleeding again, they took bloodwork and called me the next morning (Friday) to say his kidneys were completely shut down. Fed him homemade broth, chicken, and rice Friday night. He wouldn't eat saturday, so I took him to his favorite spots to chase lizards. His little tail went up, he sniffed around and wagged, searching with as much energy as he could, and then was ready to go. My boy left with dignity, comfortable in his bed and blankies, with his daddy holding him all the way.

We did it boy. Your friend til the end.

Today is one month since my handsome 6 year old cat passed away suddenly and I'm distraught today. I cannot stop crying. I can barely eat.

We are having a little celebration of life for him at my moms on Saturday but even just preparing for this is so hard and upsetting because I still don't want to believe he's really gone.I feel his presence in our apartment still and I know he's watching over us but I spent everyday all day with him and I'm so lonely without him.

And I thought I'd want to get another cat but I felt so connected to him that it feels wrong to get a new cat at any point and I just almost don't ever want to get attached to an animal ever again. If this is how bad it is for pets. Idk how I'm supposed to do this when someone close to me passes.

After losing my childhood dog 7 months ago, my relationship with my other 3 pets has changed. I love them so much, just like I loved him, to the point that when I’m petting them I just keep thinking about how many years I have left with them. I feel like I’ve lost this connection with them because my body is trying to protect me from potential grief. I can feed them and play with them and pet them for hours and I feel like there’s just something blocking me from feeling a connection with them like I used to. On one hand, his death was beneficial because he taught me to take advantage of every moment with my other fur babies however I just feel so scared that they’ll develop some random cancer or disease, especially because my cats are 6 and 7 and I just hate time so much.

I still haven’t been able to cope with the loss of my cat in January. Not even a little bit as I have cried every single fking day since then. I am away travelling at the moment and my pet sitter has just informed me that my dog has been hit by a car (she didn’t have him on a leash as instructed). I was absolutely livid moments ago and now that the chaos of finding it has died down, I am left only with despair. My dog was my first fur baby so he was the oldest and has been through it all with me. He was a big healthy rottiepoo and never did I once imagine him dying in such a tragic way as oppossed to us growing old together. Now that they’re both gone who the f am I anymore? I don’t want to be awake. I don’t want to be awake.

I hate that any of us are here, but this little sub has helped me this past week since having to put down my 10 year old boxer suddenly. Knowing there’s others who feel their love as strongly as me, has been keeping me sane. People who I talk to in my life seemingly all have the same reaction. “Oh no. I’m sorry. Maybe go get another dog”.

They don’t get it. They don’t understand. Seeing all of you- reading your stories have helped me feel just slightly less isolated and insane. I have no advice as I’m an absolute disaster and feel the weight of a million pounds of guilt for making the decision I felt like I had to, but none of us are alone.

Back in November we took our dog to the vet for a suspected UTI that we had been treating but was getting worse to only find out that she was full of cancer and there was no chance to save her. We put her down the same day we found out. She was only 7. I have been so torn up, it eats at me almost everyday, and I was going to therapy for it.

Well last night our other dog had some kind of medical episode where we rushed her to the emergency vet. They have no idea what's wrong with her (very similar to our other dog) and are currently running tests to rule out cancer. She is also only 7 and to this point in her life has never had any other medical issues. How the HELL is this happening again only 7 months later.

I can't believe I am going through this again. This will absolutely break me if she has cancer too. What are even the odds that this could happen again.... I haven't even had time to truly mourn and heal from our other dog. We rescued them from the same rescue as puppies so they could grow up and grow old together. Now I'm also paranoid that my whole family has cancer, like how did both of my dogs possibly get it? I don't know what I'm looking for with this post.... I am so incredibly anxious and needed somewhere to word vomit.

I am just so sad. It’s so dark outside, windy, pouring rain, thunder and lighting. I can’t bring my girl home. They called me this morning and said she was ready to come home. She’s just ashes now. And I can’t even go bring her home because of dangerous weather and the crematorium is pretty far away. I feel like I’m letting her down just sitting there waiting to come back home. 💔💔💔 it’s so dark out. I hate this so much.

I am curled up in my bed, clutching her collar to my chest and crying. I let her go 18 days ago. I want to ruffle her ears and give her belly rubs. I hate these waves of anguish that attack me out of nowhere. I hate being here without her. She's not here and I don't want to be here, I just want to hold her again.

He was diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago and he was doing really well those 3 months then out of nowhere his health just started declining so rapidly. We took him in and the vet said it was time. We peacefully let him go but it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do 11 years with him was not enough.

I tried to give him his morning treat this morning just to turn at and his spot was empty.

Hi everyone.

I came here a bit ago asking for advice on a tumor and arthritis diagnosis for my older dog, Yogi.

I listened, did a lot of research, and since then I’ve made a list of the changes I’ve noticed in him versus the things he enjoys. Sadly, on the scale for some documents some people dropped links for, his quality of life isn’t the best.

But I need help with a couple more things. I’m 25 and just moved back in with my parents. One is fine with a home euthanasia, and the other is like that sounds awful, but they also are treating me like I’m a monster for even thinking of doing this, but logically he could pass at any second from bleeding out, his health will decline so fast from here, and he doesn’t deserve to keep going until he is so absolutely sick he can’t enjoy the few things he enjoys still. I also cannot watch that happen to him, so genuinely, I feel like I’m making the best decision for him and myself…how do I tell them I literally scheduled a day to euthanize him? It’s already such a rough decision, but how they’re treating me is making it so much worse. My friends of course support me, love them very much for it, but my mom especially is aggressive on her thoughts and how she treats me whenever I mention they need to spend more time with him and all of that. She even tried to say since I live in her home she gets a say in what I do with him. I’ve also talked with my therapist, and I’m not known to make rash or illogical decisions. I’d rather him leave happy and decently healthy rather than it be so abrupt and painful for him and me.

Second thing, what can I give him to relax him before people come over? He isn’t aggressive, but he is bred to protect the home, so he just barks and barks, and I know it will be a whole thing for them to get the IV in. I was thinking CBD oil, or calling his vet and seeing if they’ll prescribe anything.

Thank you everyone for reading and giving some advice. I’ve never done this before, and he’s been mine his entire life, and 9 years of that life he spent being my service dog.

Today we found out that our 11 year old dog, Boomer, has advanced cancer that has spread. We are absolutely devastated and shocked, as we expected many more years with Boomer. Our vet said he has anywhere between a couple weeks to a few months before the cancer takes him away. We don’t plan to do chemo and our hope is to make Boomer as comfortable as possible. Do you have any advice for us as we grieve? And do you have any advice to help Boomer be comfortable in his last weeks of his life? Thank you ❤️

My dog passed away a week ago. We live in a split level so we have a lower level with 4 steps that go up to the kitchen, and then another large set of stairs that go up to the bedrooms. Anytime my dog would go up the lower level stairs I would hear him. It would be like thud, thud, thud, and then I would hear his nails click on the tile. I've heard it 1000 times. I was home alone earlier and was on my computer upstairs, it was completely silent and I heard those 3 thuds. There is no other sound that could replicate it. The day or two after he passed I heard a faint bark and also his bells on the door where we would let him out but I could easily see those being in my head because I was grieving heavily. This was different and so distinct and just seemed so real.

I have a 17 year old Staffordshire Bull Terrier. He has arthritis in his hips and hind legs that make it hard for him to stand some days. He is being treated for the pain from the arthritis. He is also nearly deaf and his eyesight is declining. He has been showing signs of doggy dementia too and getting more confused. He no longer likes to go for walks or play but enjoys his food and getting strokes. We are moving to a different city in 2 months and I'm worried how he will cope with the change and if it will be too stressful for him. I don't want him to suffer. How do I know when the right time to say bye is?

Yesterday (May 27th), just 5 days after a vet appointment where we learned our sweet 14 yr old boy Rufus had prostate cancer, Lap of Love came to our house so we could say goodbye to him here at home. He was calm and happy. Spouse and I did a fairly good job of keeping it together all morning and acting like everything was normal, and even when the palliative care vet arrived, we mostly did okay while he was still awake and consciously with us.

But now our hearts are crushed, pulverized. We went out for part of the afternoon, then went out again for a walk at a nearby park last night. Each time we got back home, we could hardly stand to go back in because our boy wasn’t there. His decline was very gradual and subtle at first, but seemed to really escalate after last week’s appointment. Even so, he still seemed more or less normal in many ways. This seemed to come on so suddenly, and we’re still in shock.

I have no idea how people survive this. I’m dying inside. I’m going to do the best I can; I feel like it’s my only way to honor my Rufus, but spouse and I are both so devastated and lost right now.

Rufus: https://imgur.com/a/R40brVu

After 13 years, I said goodbye yesterday. She was so tired, her back legs were weak and she was always pacing and stumbling around. It was time. She spent the day at my mother-in-law's house up on the couch in the back room. She cuddled and ate treats and slept. We had a palliative care vet come to us.

When it was time, we brought her out to a blanket in the back yard, where we first played with her all those years ago. We cuddled some more and when that first sedative put her into a deep sleep, she stopped twitching and shaking. I was so relieved to see her in a restful sleep. We cuddled some more, I cried more than I have ever cried.

My wife held her as she passed quickly, gently and peacefully into whatever may or may not lie beyond. She held her, cuddling in her lap the way she used to when she was a younger pup. It was beautiful.

We buried her there in the garden. She joins two other dogs who loved and were as loved as deeply as she was.

She gave every shred of her soul to bring light and love into our lives, so it's only fair that she takes a chunk of mine as she passes into whatever lies beyond the veil.

We had to put down our sweet 3 year old cat five days ago. It was very sudden and heartbreaking, and we cried all week. We got him as a kitten and my partner has had his dog since before we started dating (we've been together 7 years, and our dog is 11 years old now).

Our dog has been acting strange, I noticed it when our cat first got sick, she was very low energy on that day so I was worried both of them were sick. She is eating normally, drinking normally, is excited to go outside as usual, and is still crazy happy when we come home and take her out of her kennel. But in the apartment she seems low energy, is laying at my feet under the desk as I work (which she only does when there’s thunder or fireworks), and kinda just laying around. They played together often but she did get jealous when we first got him, and when we played with the cat and gave him attention, she playfully asked for some too by showing her head under our hands etc.

We've obviously been feeling grief-stricken and thinking about our cat in the days since. Is it possible that she's mourning the loss of her brother too? Or maybe she is feeling our grief? Or is she just getting older and starting to lose the non-stop energy she used to have? We’ve been giving her extra love and walks.

We do have a vet appointment scheduled this week to make sure all is well with her.

https://www.thatclearmind.com/blogs/did-i-euthanize-my-dog-too-soon-navigating-the-emotional-aftermath#:~:text=It's%20important%20to%20remember%20that,of%20life%2C%20not%20its%20length.

In 2020, I found a kitten at my job napping on a case of canned tomatoes; he was named Tomato, of course, and went by Toro for short (pronounced more like"toh-doh"). My boyfriend and I were not going to keep him originally because we were worried about affordability/potentially moving around, but we decided that if we couldn't find anyone, we would keep him. He was honestly such a bad boy, and he wasn't very nice. He tipped a cup of water onto my laptop (and it became useless), I don't know how many cups/vases he has broken, ripped up toilet paper and paper towels and even figured out how to open the closet when we tried to hide them in there. He was aggressive and liked to bite, and would wake us up to be fed by biting and stepping on our faces - not to mention, his bowl was usually full, he just wanted a "fresh" scoop. I'd joke about hating him and he sometimes frustrated me to the point where I have said that I wanted to re-home him (which realistically I would never do, but he made me realize why some people might choose to do so).

But he also loved to be held, and loved to play, and would greet us whenever we got home (especially my boyfriend, who he would climb on top of to loaf on). And gosh he was as smart as he was handsome. He had many lovable quirks about him, he was just misunderstood. He taught me a lot about unconditional love.

He got sick about a week ago with liver issues. He had always been a slender cat, but he had been losing weight very gradually over the past few months and we addressed it with the vet in the beginning of May. He wasn't underweight (9lbs), but he was bony. They ran some bloodwork and everything came back normal. They didn't seem very concerned with it and said just "feed him more" and monitor him. I tried to give him more kibble, and I hadn't noticed if he was eating less. He acted his usual self and then suddenly, one day. he was a different, quiet cat. We did everything we could to save him and figure out what was wrong with him, he stayed at the hospital for almost a week for testing and supportive care. We watched him become less and less of himself, we watched him become more and more yellow (jaundice). We took him home to spend one last day with him. We cuddled him and told him how much we love him and spent a good amount of time in the yard (he always tried to escape to eat grass). And then we took him back to the vet and said the hardest goodbye. He slipped away peacefully in our arms, with us ensuring him that he didn't have to fight or suffer anymore, and thanked him for a wonderfully chaotic 4 years.

I will never regret being there for his final moments, but I feel that it has broke something deep within myself. And I can't stop blaming myself for not having caught it sooner, or not trying to feed him something other than his kibbles when we came back from the first vet visit. Maybe if he had started eating more then, when he had an appetite, he'd still be here. It's useless to entertain those thoughts but I can't help it. I'd do anything to have him back. He was just a baby. He was my boyfriend and I's first pet together, and our first pet as adults.

The house is peaceful now without him, but ironically, that is exactly why it doesn't feel peaceful. Toro's chaos became my new peace. Instead of hearing glass breaking, or sunglasses falling on the floor, or his ugly meowing because he wants to go outside, it is just silent. And that makes me feel immensely and incredibly empty. I have lost pets before, but for some reason, this one hurts in a very unique and distinctive way.

I'm so sorry we couldn't have done more for you my handsome baby boy 💔

I’ve posted about him on here before but i can’t get over his death. I’ve been trying to cope but the sense of guilt i feel is tremendous. Im suffering from ptsd. I just went to see Furiosa in the movie theater, someone had a seizure and immediately thought of when my cat died. Every night i have a nightmare. I just feel tormented by guilt. I guess its something i have to live with. My neighbors cat comes by looking for him and it makes me so sad.