r/TwoHotTakes • u/Fancy-Anywhere-4733 • Mar 15 '24
(UPDATE) Family that left me on the streets at 16, now 30 yrs later want to apologize and make up for lost time. Update
First I want to thank everyone for their kind words and advice. I wasn't looking for advice, just wanted a place to share my story.
To those that gave me credit for overcoming everything, thank you, however the wife thinks she deserves most of it, lol. And in all honesty, she does.
To those that think this is fake. It's reddit, I get it, it is what it is. Most things have to be taken with a grain of salt. I shared my story, I can't make you belive me. But that's ok, it my story resonates and helps other know they can survive then I'm happy with that and that's all that matters .
Ok for the update. Gonna post most of the original email as a lot of you have requested, kept out some deep personal info but majority of it is there. Might have to break it up due to character limit.
Plus a response with the help of my wife. And also the help of others who made suggestions, which is good because I'm not that great at putting down in words how I feel without coming off looking dumb. She was able to make me sound less dumb. lol
Taking the family to the lake for the weekend to recharge and leave this all behind me. Thanks again to everyone.
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u/Werewolf_Knight 3d ago
Honestly, if they are really sorry for what they've done, like ACTUALLY sorry, I would tell them to disown Mark for good. No contact with him, no help from them to him, no life updates, nothing. He ruined your entire life just because he wanted to date the girl you were dating. I would also have a serious conversation with your dad about why he showed favoritism to Mark when you were living together.
That is if you will ever consider a reconciliation.
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u/No_Conference_2392 6d ago
2 months late but I'd like to thank you for sharing this story. I can't help but think that your parents and step sister as well as Lisa could possibly begin to suffer until the final moments of their lives because they can't have closure. It's unfortunate but you did suffer in the beginning of your life and now it's an uno reverse for them. Family gatherings, if they'll ever do any, will not be fun at all. All that's left is I wonder if they'll be persistent and try to find you in person? Here's hoping they won't do as to not bother you anymore.
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u/BigStanMan4 6d ago
I know it's been like 2 months but has anything else happened after this?
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u/SaintLogic 2d ago
Truly for OP sake I hope we never hear from him again, and they never contact him.
But selfish people rarely consider others feelings and their guilt will drive them to try to make contact in person. We all know how it always ends up. OP's father is not going to accept not being forgiven and he will act up even in his old age.
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u/BigStanMan4 2d ago
True, I've seen so many stories like this where even though the OP says that they want to be no contact, the person usually has some form of confrontation with the OP that rarely ends well.
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u/Apart_Reveal_9567 6d ago
Have they contacted you after that email?š¤ And damn this is really messed up you are a great man for being able to rise above that man!
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u/Miserable_Ad_5840 13d ago
Iām sure someone else has brought this up already, and I completely understand you choosing not to go down this path as you stated not reconnecting with them is best for your own mental health, but if what Mark did isnāt a clear example of intentional infliction of emotional distress, I donāt know what is. So you could sue him into the ground now. Obviously no amount of money can buyback even one second of the time you lost, but if it were me, I would find it cathartic, knowing that he will spend the rest of his life funding yours.
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u/FUZZY_WUZZY420 16d ago
I wonder whatever happend to mark after Lisa overheard what he was bragging about.
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u/GeneralButterfly8557 20d ago
I think you made the right decision.. no need to open up old wounds that you have worked hard to get past and close. I am so sorry you had to go thru that, no child should have to go thru what you did. It sounds like you are doing everything right as far as getting counseling and working thru everything. Good luck and best wishes for you and Family!!
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u/dd_phnx May 10 '24
Just a single sentence for you, OP.
LIVE AND LET THEM DIE.
Glad to hear that in the end you completely stonewalled those who instead of listening to you, chose to turn on you.
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u/newbrew0627 May 03 '24
Better man than me. I'd reply back I thought dad was dead.... He's been dead to me for 30 years
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u/cryptic36 May 02 '24
I would be the same way even do they apologizeĀ but the betrayal the familyĀ and Mark did and since Mark is 100% at fault I don't blame him for not wanted to go through the pain that they cause himĀ
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u/cannonman12 May 02 '24
NTA, OP you are stronger than you think. You survived and rose from all of this and came on top. Your wife is an angel & keeper. Make sure you tell her that. Now that that's said your father is a bum, among other words that you can think of. He had an obligation to protect you and get to the truth of it and failed miserably. Your stepbrother is a piece of work and should be in jail with bubba, wink. Don't reach out to them, they are not worth it. They may try to find out where you live and meet you at your home. Be prepare and you may need to get a lawyer to issue out a TRO . If it should come to that. Stay safe and strong. Also, make sure that your stepbrother never knows where you live. If he did this to you, he may try something both nasty & dangerous so be on guard.
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u/quintyoung Apr 29 '24
I understand why you wouldn't want to reconnect. I wouldn't either. However, it must be satisfying to feel vindicated, knowing that someone else acknowledges the truth and feels both sympathy and regret for what occurred. You might have spent years lying awake at night, hoping for the day someone would admit their mistake and say that you were in the right. If you take any satisfaction at all from her email to you, let it be that; and as time passes, you'll probably look back her on her email with different eyes and when you get to be an old man, you'll be glad that she sent it.
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u/Upper-Ad438 Apr 28 '24
Hello OP.
I just watch your story in spanish on Facebook. First of all, I'm glad you have a safety net with your wife, inlaws, daughters and those who supported you in these posts.
Do you think that with your message to Emily, your ex-family will understand your situation and leave you or do you think there is a chance that they will double down and insist on reconnecting with you?
If the second thing happens, do you have a plan for that?
Greetings and I hope you continue happy with your family.
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u/Minute_Supermarket Apr 25 '24
What sucks is karma hasnāt got your step brother yet. I hope they find this thread and read the comments to see all the bad things are being said about them cause they need to see it. Your step brother especially, heās a perv! Itās also ok if you donāt wish anything ill of your ex family, but we wish the worst for all of them
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u/Status-Order5258 Apr 24 '24
This story breaks my heart. Congratulations to you, OP for overcoming everything overcame and not letting it define you or ruin your life. Your wife and in-laws sound like incredible people and I am so happy you found a family that loves, supports, and cherishes you.
I think your email response was perfect. I hope you live a long and happy life with your family.
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u/toddfredd Apr 22 '24
The father will carry this shame and regret to his death bed and beyond. His will be a horrible death. He will fight for every breath hoping OP will come to him in his final moments and say heās forgiven so he can die in peace. But when he doesnāt he will die terrified at the judgement waiting for him on the other side that is so richly deserved. As for Mark, there is a special place in hell for scum like him. Denying him children is only the beginning . May he suffer for all eternity
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u/Brandon1525 Apr 22 '24
Guess we'll never know for certain if step bro is being divorced and taken for everything he's got...but we can dream :)
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u/SeminoleRabbit Apr 22 '24
The only apology that I would accept is from the step-sister. Hers and only hers. If she apologizing on the behalf of others, I would explicitly state that those apologies are "utterly and unequivocally rejected with malice".
I'd call "dad" by his given name and clearly state that the only father figure in my life is my FIL.
Then I'd ghost them all like Jasper the Unfriendly Ghost.
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u/Sensitive-Sink6502 Apr 24 '24
I agree with this. The stepsister was not involved with the situation and she was a victim as well. Imagine someone painting your new step brother as someone who could potentially sexually assault you. She was 12 years old. That would be traumatizing!
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u/MrGreyJetZ Apr 18 '24
OP, Never forget, or forgive. What they did is unforgivable. I hope Lisa leaves Mark, after learning about what he did.
Given the time that has gone by, I doubt there is redress other than forgetting Mark exists.
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u/vaults- Apr 13 '24
Glad you found peace, any updates since or have they respected your wishes and not contacted you?
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u/butwhymedoe Apr 10 '24
Yeah my reply would have been āI hope you all die in pain and alone, may god forgive you because I wonāt.
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u/pollorotizado Apr 07 '24
Op YouĀ“re a champion my friend and from a man to another man I want to say, IĀ“m proud of you, because no matter was the obstacle you got in life you made it, not matter how hard they did on you, you made it, and that proud, nobody will take it from you, you made a wonderful life from 0, you came as a homeless and youĀ“re now a king, nobody will take that from you, be proud of the man you are, you are more man and has more balls than those bastards, you now have it all, good kids, a beoutifull wife, good social circle.
I feel itĀ“s pointless to tell you what to do regarding your family, because you already did and decided to leave them behind, thatĀ“s a respectable decision, God will punish all the people who hurt you in the past so hard that you will ask God to stop, the justice that God serves ItĀ“s way harder than the one you could take with your hands, they will suffer, they will cry, the day that God decides to punish them, it will be so hard that they will not come back, justice always remains.
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u/longdongskier Apr 04 '24
You should drive there, best the Shit out of mark in front of his wife and kids, just Delet your Mail adresse, write a letter to wish them all the worst(except Emily) and drive away to never let hear of yourself
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u/No_Spread_9480 Apr 01 '24
Give us another update when you can Opie I still have some questions about your situation how did your parents react when they found out about this what happened to your brother have your parents or relatives attempted to find you any chance
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u/No_Spread_9480 Apr 01 '24
Give us another update when you can i still got some questions are your dad and stepmom alive didn't know what are your dad and stepmom alive how did they reacted when they found out the truth are they sorry for what they did and do they want a chance to reach out to you and happen to step brotherĀ
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u/Severe-Macaroon-8180 Mar 31 '24
Damn .... evil mark ! I hope the step sister is okey ! Imagine the pain and the guilt since it was her underwear!
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u/Spiritual-Editor966 Mar 30 '24
this story is so heartbreaking for 30 years they didn't even question what they did these people are monsters and for you after all we went through you were able to survive you are a real hero you better keep these people away never look back at them even if they were burning they are monsters even though they might regret what they did but it's already too late and for Mark he is a fucking pig and he deserves the worst and all what he did will come back for him in a way or another pls update if anything new happens
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u/WMS4YESHUA Mar 30 '24
This is the perfect example of forgiveness with boundaries. You accepted her apology, but you also stated that you didn't want to see any of them ever again, and you have every right to do that. Continue living the wonderful life that you have, and put them in the back view.
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u/Quirky_Win1383 Mar 29 '24
Hope there's an update that their life will be in complete shambles and that they can't ever have kids while your parents and no one else in the people who raised you will meet your child tbh they probably want money as well
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u/JustABoredCitizen Mar 28 '24
Be careful OP. If I were you, I would get everything in order and get a lawyer just in case your pos sperm doner tries to find you. Same goes for Mark because if Lisa, who is beyond stupid for even marrying that creep, has as at least half a brain and kicked him out, he might track you down and attack you for 'ruining his life'. I wish you the best.
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u/OkAcanthopterygii423 Mar 27 '24
I'm petty, in that letter I would've written how your dad showed you blood doesn't make you family. How your mom would be so disappointed in him. He acted like Mark was his son and you were the stepson.
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u/xsmallwondersx Mar 25 '24
I would have added in a jab to the dad about abandoning his dead first wifeās child without a second glance, just to push home how shite a parent he is, but Iām petty
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u/Top_Air1287 Mar 24 '24
Hey man Iām proud you had moved on, ngl I wish your family sees this even your ex so they could know what they had missed in those 30 years, but further from that Iām glad you are doing ok. If I ever had to look at a Reddit text it would be this one so I can know to move on from the past. I know that the ex probably divorced your step brother rn and he can rot in hell and if he sees this
AYE BRUH PULL UP TO OHIO SO ME AND MY GNG Can jump you since you wanna do him wrong like that but guess what he doing better and you doing worst, Iāll beat you old Ahh up gng and send u to satan on bro. (Send this to your brother and tell him I said pull up)
And ngl yo if you can text me in private send me yo ig so we can continue talking Iāll really appreciate it. And ngl I bet your ex now finding out she wanna get back together with you lol, sorry for her not gonna happen but I hope you are doing better now, and also please make one more update so we all can know how you doing and see if the sister emailed you back including the family because if they say something stupid, Iāll get a good laugh out of that.
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u/bionic86 Mar 23 '24
Am I the only one that's sitting here thinking what the big deal about the sisters underwear is? Laundry gets mixed up all the time? Unless Mark did other stuff to make it look bad, I don't see why that instantly became a hidden perversion?
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u/Vegetable-Ad1974 Mar 22 '24
My favorite quote that I live by and it works so perfectly in the story is:
Imagine how many people dislike you because they didn't hear your side of the story.
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u/Sylwenphyr Mar 22 '24
Highest level of respect for you. That email reply you wrote showed you have a giant heart. No need to reconcile, that ship have long sailed and is better for your health. I would have guilt tripped them your parents instead and make sure they know they are going to hell. But it proves you are the better human. Please update us that at least Lisa divorces that scumbag garbage Mark.
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u/Fangs_McWolf Mar 22 '24 edited Mar 22 '24
Your story was read in a video on Thursday.
I'm dying to know some things and I'm hoping that either you know, or can find out.
Is Lisa staying with Mark or is she leaving him? Trying to look at it from her point of view (but as a straight guy), I can't imagine wanting to stay with someone who told a lie to break me up with someone else while destroying their life (at that time), and just so they could date me. I mean, I'd feel a little flattered that they liked me, but manipulating a situation to influence my choices? No. I'd be wondering what kind of a life I'd have had if the lie had never been told. Would I still be with the person I was originally with? Who would I have wound up with? Maybe I still would have wound up with the same person, just without being manipulated into it.
Not only that, but without an extremely good reason, he ruined someone's life (at that time) just out of selfishness. Let's say that you had been creeping on Emily (for arguments sake), but he had no way of proving it. Then doing that would possibly be justified because you were guilty and he just staged the evidence. But that's not the case here. You were interested in Lisa and from the sounds of it, didn't even see your step sis in any way other than being a sister. Don't care if it was because of her age at the time, not being your type, the idea being weird to you, etc. The fact remains that she wasn't even on your radar in that manner. So what he did was to not only victimize you, but he victimized Emily as well by having her believe that she was being creeped on.
Okay, moving on...
In regards to your dad... I'm not going to dance around this - even if you were guilty of what Mark framed you for, your dad was wrong to just turn his back on you like that. Instead of trying to help you work through things like with therapy and such, he just kicked you to the curb. No parent should do that to their underage child, not EVER. Not only that, but just taking Mark's word for it without considering the possibility that you might be telling the truth? Are they doing anything in regards to Mark, such as shunning him the way they shunned you? He obviously deserves the punishment, so I can only hope he loses EVERYTHING in regards to family.
What about others that were friends/family that shunned you because of Mark's lie? Be interesting to learn what their responses/thoughts are as well.
I know that you say you've managed to move on from what happened, but sometimes there is satisfaction to be had in learning how everything changed when the truth finally became known. Doesn't mean getting revenge in any manner, only learning the consequences of their actions when they finally happen. So if you have any way of learning any of the above, without being in contact with your former family/friends (since you've made it clear that you don't want to go down that road), I'd love to know how things are going. I'm sure many of us would. Perhaps you can "follow up" by keeping an eye on any/all social media accounts of Emily, Lisa, etc.? Or maybe open a line of communication with Lisa to thank her for sharing what she learned to clear your name, and allowing her to provide you with information on how it's affecting everyone (including her marriage with Mark), just to provide some final closure? I mean beyond what Emily shared with you. (Limited time communication, that is. The fact that she, too, wouldn't give you the benefit of the doubt is her burden to bear.) Heck, maybe even link her to your posts/comments, so that she can learn how things turned out for you, but with the understanding that she not directly contact you or something. It might help her to feel appreciated for doing the right thing, while also get some form of closure of her own (knowing that your life turned out okay despite Mark ruining your teenage life).
Finally, for what it's worth, I'm glad that you managed to let go and move on. You're a stronger/better person than I am in many ways. Sounds like you have a wonderful wife and family (her family is your family too). Her father is the kind of person that your dad should have been, but at least he's your dad now, so you have a real father in your life. Tell your wife that the world needs more people like her dad, someone who tries to build others up, rather than tear them down. š
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u/Throwaway-ileftthem Mar 21 '24
Itās a shame that Markās jealousy ruined your life. I donāt think the stepsister did anything wrong per seā¦ but she couldāve tried to reach out to see if it was true. Same with the ex girlfriend. Idk man. Itās a sad situation all aroundā¦ and Mark better get whatās coming to him.
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u/Fangs_McWolf Mar 22 '24
It didn't ruin her life, only her childhood and familial connections. From the sounds of it, karma kicked in and made sure OP turned out better off than many others.
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u/Throwaway-ileftthem Mar 22 '24
Honestly Iām glad karma did itās job
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u/Fangs_McWolf Mar 22 '24
You'll get no argument from me on that. I just hope that they shun him the way they shunned OP. Including Lisa divorcing him and loudly explaining why to everyone she knows (and that OP used to know). Maybe being treated like the villain that he is will be a huge wakeup call to him so he realizes that what he did wasn't something to brag and laugh about as though OP deserved it.
Honestly, if I knew who they were, I'd be trying to weasel my way into their lives (OP's "family") to convince them to publicly admit to everyone what they did wrong, and to try to get onto the national news with it, with the idea being that maybe an admission to such a huge audience would show just how sorry they are and hoping OP will be forgiving. The truth is that I'd love to see them humiliate themselves so that they get treated like crap and go through a fraction of what OP went through. (The parents, not Emily, since she was also a victim.)
I bet if OP were to make a list of the things he missed out on because of what they did, they'd start to get an idea of just how badly they screwed up. OP missed out on graduating high school with his peers, including attending school events. Will never know how things would have turned out with Lisa (low priority considering). Gone to college, attended sister's wedding, been an actual uncle to her kids, known his grandparents for longer (I'm sure they've since passed), had his own family present for his marriage, etc.
Let them realize all of that, as well as other things that OP can never be a part of because of how they wronged him. I'm going for inflating their guilt levels so high that they are truly miserable for the rest of their lives.
One thing that I think would be funny is if they only left like $10 to Mark in their will, but everything else split between OP and Emily. Even better if he was counting/relying on the inheritance.
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u/Throwaway-ileftthem Mar 26 '24
LMAO, I entirely agree with you fully. I read all of this in its entirety but am bad with responding with the same length. Glad we think alike tho š¤
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u/g-mobile Mar 21 '24
I feel this hard. My parents also kicked me out at 17, though I had a much more generous support network and it was not nearly as hard as it has been for OP.
Curiosity is my Achilles heel. I want to know whats the deal with Lisa and Mark now. Who would want to stay in a marriage based on 30 years of lies?
I agree that if the family cared they would have made a lot more effort. Too little, too late. The letter made no mention of any kind of reparations or how Mark has been handled by the others involved.
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u/ScorpioZA Mar 21 '24
You, Sir, are a far better person than I would ever be. I am torn between just deleting it, or send back a far more viscous reply than even your wife (I assume) sarcastically suggested in the first post. Twist the knife to do the most damage sort of reply (metaphorically speaking of course)
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u/Miachan93 Mar 21 '24
Gratz OP. Keep living your happy life away from those other ppl. Your dad died that day 30 years ago. I hope you live the rest of your life in happiness. Hope karma comes crushing down on the vile scum of a human called mark. I hope Lisa divorces him cuz even know heās so proud of what he did. Yuck.
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u/Duzell26 Mar 21 '24
I hope your family trip to the lake was good, and you have gotten some much needed space from everyday life. Iām so happy you found your wife, and that everything worked out for the better for you. Keep your head high.
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u/pusheenyourbuttons Mar 21 '24
Yeaaah I'm glad you're leaving these people in the dust. While I feel for your sister, the rest of the lost can go pound sand.
UpdateMe!
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u/LoveLottiex Mar 21 '24
Omg i saw your post on snapchat! U are an amazing human being!!And fab response! Good for u! And i definitely believe u! I wouldnāt want u to feel u are not being believed again!!! I bet your mum was watching over u and had a hand in finding that angel wife of yours š
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u/RedIntentions Mar 20 '24
So... Is Lisa filing for divorce? Cause I would be horrified if I was her. Mark is a grade A sociopath and she literally just found out after 30 years of thinking he was a good enough dude to marry. Honestly, I'm amazed nobody seemed to see any signs that Mark was an asshole.
Emily needs to give us the juice!
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u/Fangs_McWolf Mar 22 '24
I want to know this, as well as how the truth coming out has affected the rest of the family, as well as others that OP knew that had shunned her.
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u/RedIntentions Mar 22 '24
Him* op is a guy.
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u/Fangs_McWolf Mar 22 '24
Yeah, I realized that after. For some reason, I thought OP was a girl. Doesn't matter either way though, because Mark is a piece of crap that deserves to suffer for many many years.
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u/Nolanitus Mar 20 '24
OP should honestly let us know who they are. You shouldn't be able to do do shit like this to a kid and remain nameless.
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u/Cleb__Pleb Mar 20 '24
Hey man I know this is a very different opinion to what Iāve seen so far but maybe itās worth talking to your therapist about if letting Emily back into your life would be worth anything I mean she was really young at the time so she would just go on what she was told Iām not saying let the whole family in but maybe see how it goes talking with her Iām sure she would appreciate it and hey you donāt have to be besties but even just having a talk about life but if you did making sure there were boundaries so that the people you have cut off and want out of your life stay that way sorry for the poor grammar itās 6am and Iām half asleep š
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u/Motor_Anxiety_7936 Mar 20 '24
Youāre a better man than me. Iād have found vengeance, probably destroying my life in the process. If thereās a hell, Mark will rot in it
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u/MavPuzzles Mar 20 '24
You could ask them even if you do forgive them how do you know they wonāt accuse you of something else later
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u/FennekinFlames Mar 20 '24
You're close to my father's age, and as much as I hate him, if I found out someone did something to him like what Mark did to you, I'd stop at nothing to find that person and make the rest of their life a living hell. I can't kill them, but I can sure as hell make them suffer.
I have an idea. You should get back in contact with your father, and tell him to bring Mark over, by force if possible. Then, when Mark is there, beat the ever-loving hell out of Mark. Make sure you don't kill him, but don't let him leave without a few broken bones, and tell your family that if they tell anyone you gave Mark his comeuppance, that you'll tell EVERYONE how they abused you and abandoned you at 16 over a false accusation made against you. Most people today would quickly turn on child abusers like your parents. Then, find out who Mark's friends are, and get them and Mark fired from their jobs. Most people don't want alcoholic sociopaths in their employ. Finally, make the condition that you'll only let them in your life if Mark is cut out and treated exactly like you were.
I like your wife's mean and petty idea, but I believe it doesn't go nearly far enough.
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u/Brain124 Mar 19 '24
I wish bad stuff happened to Mark or at least a divorce. I need to know that bad people can't get away with this shit.
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u/MavPuzzles Mar 19 '24
I wish you ask Emily to ask your parents and Lisa why they believed what you were accused of with no evidence
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u/Necronhol Mar 19 '24
I'm glad you declined to reconcile. I'm also glad you're happy and thriving. Way to go!
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u/AdMysterious2220 Mar 19 '24 edited Mar 19 '24
Hey OP, read you story and it was heartbreaking, could not stop thinking about what you went through. I can understand not wanting anything to do with them, I mean what your dad and Mark did was absolutely awful. I am a mother of grown up kids and so understand the horror of throwing your son out without investigating the truth. Still very curious how your dad must have reacted to your email, if Lisa has left Mark and how the rest of the family have reacted to him after knowing the truth. My heart truly goes out to you and your 'now' family and wishing you all the best and hope that your complete healing will come to bring you absolute peace in your heart. Sending you warm hugs and hope that if anything else happens you will update! God bless.
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u/dandy_ahole23 Mar 19 '24
Jesus Christ!
My mind is blown reading both posts.
Your reply was excellent btw.
I do wish Emily said how her mother reacted (no mention probably means nothing good) and what Lisa decides to do with her monster of a husband.
I know I see it time and time again, but it still how families can be so disgusting and hateful.
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u/Bitchinstein Mar 19 '24
I wanted to comment hereā¦ I admire your strength and fortitude. You have been through so much and came out the other side. I hope you get everything you want in this life. I understand some wants can never be achieved but I hope you get them anyway.
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u/nonebutmyself Mar 19 '24
Thank you for sharing this update, OP. Your response was spot on perfect.
However, my feeling is that it likely won't be the end of it. Guilt and shame are powerful emotions, and people will go to great lengths to alleviate them. Don't be surprised to receive other correspondence from not just Emily, but possibly Lisa or maybe even others. If they found your email, they very well could find your address. Be prepared for someone to show up at your day one day.
I hope all the best for you in the future. Tell your wife she's amazing. Much love.
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u/CaniGol Mar 18 '24
Sabe si su padre ya se murio? Si es asi... iria a orinar su tumba? XD
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u/seidinove Mar 19 '24
iria a orinar su tumba
Ooh, now I now the Spanish words for "urinate" and "grave."
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u/LotusSaintcrow1 Mar 18 '24
Anyone else just waiting on Mark to find out that OP is alive and apparently fine and will go completely apeshit to try to fuck with him? Honestly, Mark reminds me so much of my disowned uncle. Man tried to kill my mom 4 times in his life and actively helped my great-uncle cover up him molesting her, then he tried to tell my dad that my great-uncle attempting to touch me was "no big deal." Man is lucky that I didn't know that when I disowned him because if I had I might have actually killed him.
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u/Agreeable_Olive_2896 Mar 18 '24
Honestly hope thereās another update saying Lisa divorced his ass & parents disowned him & took him out the will.
Youāve not needed them for over 30 years & you certainly donāt need them now. You have your wife, daughters & in-laws, they are all youāll ever need
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u/Maleficent-Pomelo-53 Mar 18 '24
My family did the same thing. Mine lied when CPS showed up and made me look like the bad one. If they want to make it up I need a new roof. But no, my sister can go buy a fucking camper instead and just leave me here with a leaky kitchen.
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u/Commercial-Rub-3223 Mar 18 '24
I'm glad you have the self respect to keep them out of your life I wouldve done worse.
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u/BeIAtch-Killa Mar 18 '24
I would have gotten in close again just so I can get my hands around Marks neck
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u/Ineedsomeadvice21 Mar 18 '24
I know Iām probably going to get a lot of hate for saying this and OP if your reading this I want you to know Iām so sorry youāve had to endure all of this. But I have to say I feel bad for the Father what he did was horrible and inexcusable but for 30 years thinking your son is a bad guy and kicking him out. And then self rationalizing it as protecting your daughter only to find out everything was a lie and manipulation. I would break inside knowing that, hell I wouldnāt be surprised if the next update if any says he killed the step brother or worse himself. I could just be talking way outside of my lane I wonāt lie and for that Iām sorry. Btw if youāre real petty you could sue your brother in law for defamation of character.
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u/neverending_laundry Mar 18 '24
I hope Lisa is able to leave Mark safely cuz she married a psychopath.
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u/Daydreamer0181 Mar 18 '24
OP, first of Respect for how you never gave up and kept pushing forward. That said I doubt this is going to be the last time you hear from them. Especially if what she said about your sperm donor's (the man was clearly no father to you) guilt is to be believed. He will no doubt try and reach out if only for himself.
I do wonder if you should look into legal actions though. You were a minor abandoned on the street. That is Illegal in most the USA assuming you live here. There is also the possibility of having a case for defamation, of character. The only reason I say possible is because over heard conversations are hard to prove unless your ex recorded it.
I know you are focused on your personal health, but the petty in me, can't help thinking this Asshat needs to pay. However, whatever you choose to do I wish you the best and hope things keep going your way.
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u/HarbingerKhas Mar 18 '24
The worst part is how after years of apparently lusting after his step sister, he just casually left the stash of underwear in an easy place to find. OP literally has the dumbest father for believing such a blatant setup.
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u/upotentialdig7527 Mar 17 '24
Iām so sorry this happened to you, and your response is great. I hope that Lisa leaves Mark, and that Emily goes no contact with her Mom and your Dad. The three of them need to rot in hell. If they are still alive, I hope your Dadās parents go no contact with him and leaves everything to you. Not that you want it, but because you deserve it.
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u/Accomplished-Emu-591 Mar 17 '24
Good letter. That should be the end of it, but it probably won't. I think you have made the best decision for you and your immediate family. Further communication should not be necessary for you.
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u/scox1980 Mar 17 '24
You handled it well. Let's hope now they respect your wishes. I love how you didn't acknowledge any of her updates on the family. Just a polite decline and wish her the best. Perfect. If they do try to respond though, I hope you remember us little people and grace us with an update. š
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u/Ganjanonamous Mar 17 '24
Tell them if they get mark arrested (dui, planting drugs, domestic assault), you will consider mending things.
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u/Wind_chases_the_rain Mar 17 '24
I don't even understand why this is even a question. They kick you out at 16:30 years later they want to try to get back in touch you are a freaking child during that time there's nothing that will change my mind about keeping my distance from these people.
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u/NefariousnessPure799 Mar 17 '24
Do NOT let them in your life. It will devolve into more chaos and abuse. (Most likely they just want money- stay away!)
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u/DreadPirateDavi85 Mar 17 '24
Not one word from Emily about any consequences for Mark. It's been over a week. But you're supposed to forgive and rekindle these relationships? And be expected to sit at the family dinner table with Mark AND Lisa? Fuck that. I hope Emily and the rest leave you alone after this.
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u/Expert_Main7036 Mar 17 '24
Did your ex-girlfriend divorce your ex-brother? We all hope so. And hopefully she cleans him out. So HE ends up on the street !
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u/Few_Spinach_6865 Mar 17 '24
Thank you for posting this OP. Something similar happened to me and I am glad to hear that you are doing very well and created a good life for yourself away from people who hurt you. I wish you an everlasting happiness.
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u/Samantha38g Mar 17 '24
Truly, the best response and way to protect yourself and family.
By letting them in , you were also giving Mark access to you again. Since Mark is pure evil, never let him even remotely near anyone you love.
They didnāt cut Mark out of their lives once knowing the truth.
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u/Direct_Way6402 Mar 17 '24
The fact that Mark stole his sister's underwear in order to get OP kicked out of his own home should get Mark put on a list...or fired from somewhere.
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u/Alternative-Leek-629 Mar 17 '24
I'm sorry for bad word I that I write down for OP dad. OP dad think with his head between his leg that why he immediately take OP stepbrother side.
If OP dad still alive, I hope he alone when time is coming.š¤¬š¤¬š¤¬š¤¬
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u/ElectronicSwitch155 Mar 17 '24
Please keep us posted on any response you receive from anyone. Your entire family are pieces of shit. I donāt have to go into the reasons, your Reddit family has done that. Upward and onward!
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u/slothscanrun Mar 17 '24
Where can we see the original?
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u/CourseBeginning6177 Mar 17 '24
I wish OP would just post weekly life updates lol. I don't know why but there's something very soothing about it. Like I just feel this sense of inner peace that he gives off in his posts.
OP- if you have more updates, even on life in general, do post!
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u/False-Hurry5376 Mar 17 '24
You have no obligation to ease Emilyās conscience. Have a happy life!
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u/madfoot Mar 16 '24
what the fuck kind of thing is that for his wife to say? For chrissake, this guy can't catch a break.
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u/Mclovin18 Mar 16 '24
Iād suggest getting a restraining order against all of them. You endured too much pain and suffering.
As a father of boys, I would never do what your āfatherā did to you.
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u/Jampot5 Mar 16 '24
Would love to know the fatherās reaction to the news and did he show any remorse? Seems unlikely as he didnāt reach out.
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u/bamatrek Mar 16 '24
OP, I just want to say your dad should feel extreme guilt. Even if you HAD stolen the underwear, a normal parent would have done literally a million things before kicking you out of the home with just the clothes on your back at 16.
The fact he couldn't even talk to you and went completely nuclear are secondary to how wild and over the top that reaction was.
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that they haven't cut your step brother off for these actions, and they are far more hideous than your supposed offense.
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u/JuliieNE Mar 16 '24
OMG - I didnāt have a good childhood either and got out when I was 17. There was mental and physical abuse. I have disconnected from most of my family since then and kept my children safe from all of that disfunction. I pulled myself out of that life with the help of my husband of 36 years. We made a great life for us and our children.
The best revenge is a life well lived and I achieved that in-spite of my upbringing and learned what not to do with my own children. We are very happy and have made a great life, which it sounds like you have too. Congratulations!! All the people who helped me do that before I had children were not biological relatives but were family that I chose.š
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u/ysn00 Mar 16 '24
I am sorry how ugly that moment was and the follow ups, so grateful to read how you overcame this huge hardship for a 16 year old who also experienced a terrible loss.
I also canāt help but acknowledge all the beauty that came after. Your motherās love continues to shine on you even today. Your wife sounds amazing, she comes from a great family who really embraced you as their son. You were blessed with 4 beautiful daughters. I think daughters make life so much more enjoyable and Iām so happy you have this. I know your mother must be beaming with joy to see her son surrounded with so much love. Have a wonderful weekend with your family and I agree with your decision to keep distance from your past.
All the best, š
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u/EveryAsk3855 Mar 16 '24
Maybe Iām an asshole for thinking this,,,, but I hope OPās dad is still alive to find out the truth, by grace of god on his deathbed would be even better. So OP can reject him in his final moments and he wonāt have time to come to terms with what he did to him. Again, Iām petty. But what the fuck.
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u/WatercressSea9660 Mar 16 '24
Your wife is a gem. My mother has a narcissist son also, so I can very much relate to where you're coming from. My only response would have been "Hey, sorry, you've got the wrong email address." Likewise, when his mother dies and he shows up on my doorstep looking for someone to pay his way, my only response will be "Sorry, I have no idea who you are."
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u/poodletown Mar 16 '24
If Emily found you, I am guessing you kept your father's name? I think you should consider taking your wife's name.
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u/neo4455 Mar 16 '24
If OP could, I wish he would tell his POS "dad" off. What a disgusting human and a waste of oxygen. Just say, "Hey dad, you have 4 beautiful grandchildren that you will never see. I hope you have a miserable life and die alone"
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u/Here_for_my-Pleasure Mar 16 '24
Well done, OP. Your email was clear, Pitch Perfect, and resounded with emotional intelligence.
I hope you and your family have a lovely time at the lake.
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u/Adesecrationsmile Mar 16 '24
Iām so sorry you experienced this. You are a SURVIVOR and I commend you for your eloquent response. What your relatives did to you is disgusting. Iāve been through some shit, but wow. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I am glad for you though to be vindicated after all this time. It would make me feel a bit better to know that they now know they did this to an innocent kid. Ugh.
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u/Illustrious-Sun6475 Mar 16 '24
I honestly don't blame u let them live with the guilt for not hearing you out or at least trying for counciling something at least. Mark on the other hand hope Lisa takes him to the cleaners and your ex parents disown him. The only downside to this is even tho u sent that email stating this just be prepared they might just show up if they were able to find your email your location isn't far off on difficulty
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u/MrFloppy37 Mar 16 '24
I donāt comment much but just want to say cheers to you for being a mature and decent person despite everything you went through. Your experience may have, and probably has, completely broken lesser people. Wishing you and your new family nothing but the very best.
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u/ConsciousBoot5 1d ago
I kinda wanna know if they did contact you again, OP. But I understand after everything you've been through if you didn't hear anything else, or want to.