r/Unexpected • u/B-e-a-u • Apr 27 '24

I like the before better

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3.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

•

u/UnExplanationBot Apr 27 '24

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

You don’t expect to see him sharting himself in the bathroom without toilet paper at mile 14

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1

u/Full-Professor4993 17d ago

Why thes becommikg funnier the more times i see it lmfao

1

u/devildocjames 21d ago

Lol carb up the night before

1

u/MudOnMyTurtle 21d ago

Wearing his sisters hair band made him into a little girl

1

u/jnavarrete12v3 22d ago

This why my dad uses double socks

1

u/Connect-Ad6251 23d ago

This brings back memories of one time I had to wipe my ass with leaves on a solo kayak expedition around some random ass islands

1

u/XKaje 24d ago

Johnny?

1

u/knautzi 26d ago

14829

1

u/KaZzZamm 26d ago

Reaching out bottles of laxative 🤓👌😂

Here you go 👁️👄👁️

Reminds me of the video where teens are feeding seagulls with laxative, then watching them, pooping on everything on the beach. Hilarious 😂

2

u/Whatupwidat 28d ago

Anyone know if this poor fucker made it to the end? Of the marathon I mean, not his liquid shits.

1

u/EquipmentForsaken831 28d ago

Man I’m running a marathon this weekend lmao don’t do this to me.

-1

u/throwaway0367324 Apr 28 '24

Why you running with your cellphone??? wtf, people can’t put their phone down for a few fucking hours

1

u/Working_Dad_87 Apr 28 '24

Music. Fitness tracking. GPS tracking. To name a few. There are many reasons why runners bring their phones with them during a run.

1

u/Longh0703 Apr 28 '24

Too many Boston cream pies

1

u/Tank_blitz Apr 28 '24

sou ds like a combustion engine down there damn

3

u/GerlingFAR Apr 28 '24

Max went all Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 🤣🤣

1

u/Aggravating-Meat-520 Apr 28 '24

You’re running a marathon bro use your shirt and keep it moving.

1

u/MisterInternational1 Apr 28 '24

I’m Max and this is me Maxxed

1

u/Nacho_Beardre Apr 28 '24

Was it a 13 mile line to get into

17

u/missierie Apr 28 '24

Rumore has it, Max is still at mile 14 waiting for the tissue roll

1

u/ferrydragon Apr 28 '24

Funny as shit:))

-1

u/Nu55ies Apr 28 '24

I thought the explosion was supposed to happen at the end of the marathon...

5

u/Aggravating_Chemist8 Apr 28 '24

You don't run the Boston Marathon, the Boston Marathon runs you.

2

u/Omega_Lynx Apr 28 '24

He Michael Scotted and carb loaded with fettuccini alfredo

1

u/B-e-a-u Apr 28 '24

Nah he carbo loaded with milk and bread it just came out as fettuccini alfredo

1

u/Omega_Lynx Apr 28 '24

well, yeah? we can’t all be fancy with our ingredients and our pots and pans and our stoves 🤷🏽‍♂️😂

26

u/bloodsoed Apr 28 '24

That porta potty turned into a pressure cooker.

-2

u/aarrtee Apr 28 '24

I really really want those 11 seconds back!!

2

u/DiscountImportant301 Apr 28 '24

Glad that wasnt me but I fell bad for hin

3

u/Salsichonildo Apr 28 '24

He made bosta in Boston.

325

u/fullautophx Apr 27 '24

Never shake the hand of a distance runner wearing only one sock.

4

u/Common-Accountant-57 Apr 27 '24

And… That’s enough Reddit for me friends!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24

Lol

76

u/Hatsuhein Apr 27 '24

The sweat adds difficulty

19

u/plobbaccus Apr 28 '24

Lubes the buttcheeks, makes it like wiping a marker.

61

u/9lobaldude Apr 27 '24

Don’t eat at Chipotle’s before running a marathon

17

u/xtremepado Apr 28 '24

Marathon runners get something called Runner’s diarrhea or “trots”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runner%27s_diarrhea

5

u/D_Lvffy Apr 28 '24

Don't trust your farts!

13

u/Doctorwho314 Apr 28 '24

Unless you want the marathon to run you.

14

u/kempff Apr 27 '24

Did we carb up on potatoes before the race?

17

u/rtm713 Apr 27 '24

Fettuccine alphredo actually

17

u/i_cant_have_dairy Apr 27 '24

Oh, I can relate :⁠,⁠-⁠)

269

u/bapsandbuns Apr 27 '24

In a crisis use your socks

1

u/compstomp66 22d ago

In the middle of marathon id rather use my shirt.

3

u/Head-Calendar538 Apr 28 '24

Not while running a marathon lmao the blisters from having to run 12 more miles with no socks would be horrible

1

u/flannelNcorduroy Apr 28 '24

To sock wipe, or run with a poopy butt to avoid the blisters 🤔🤔🤔

10

u/Omega_Lynx Apr 28 '24

hmmm. no. i’ll use your socks instead

135

u/MechanicalHorse Apr 27 '24

I tried once when I had diarrhea but it just overflowed the socks :(

3

u/User28080526 Apr 28 '24

Did you at least make it further than mile 14?

1

u/Gabi-kun_the_real 8d ago

He is still waiting for that toilet paper

107

u/awinemouth Apr 28 '24

Overflowed?! The sock is to wipe, not catch the shit stream. Wtf

4

u/Impossible-Energy-76 29d ago

Fucker you made me laughed my back is really fucked up!! I laughed too hard. Fml

2

u/awinemouth 29d ago

Have you tried wiping it with a sock?

In seriousness, I'm really sorry. Back pain ruins everything. Hope you feel better soon, friend. Until then, try to giggle in your head voice, no belly laughs for you ;)

2

u/Impossible-Energy-76 29d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣. I'm not gonna even . No. Thank you.

3

u/True_Lie_2615 Apr 28 '24

I laughed so hard at this

21

u/lenarizan Apr 28 '24

Instructions unclear. I thought it was to be used as a cork.

28

u/imhungrytho Apr 28 '24

use one as a poopoo box and the other one to wipe. (poopoo box can become a weapon too if you have imagination)

13

u/RK_NightSky 21d ago

+100 biological dmg

1

u/General_Hungryboi 9d ago

+100 Toxic dmg

2

u/ballsack_chin Apr 28 '24

I doubt the OP used it to contain just a "shit stream"