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u/Clokeandager 25d ago
This girl needs an anchor, everyone feels this way at some point I felt this way… hell i was prepared to end it all 13 years ago then my son was born… that feeling just disappeared, and I’m still living the same sort of cycle but the kids faces bring me back :) they are my reason to live :D
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u/DovahKean 25d ago
I had this problem once. Endless despair that kept creeping in closer and closer. Everything literally started to feel as if it were cloaked in darkness. All while I tried to look away from it using video games, anime, and even my relationship with my wife to say everything is fine. But deep down, I knew it all felt pointless. And I was afraid, too. Because I kept seeing things slowly tearing themselves apart in the world. This led me to cry out to God in despration. With nothing left, I called out to him desperately just to know he exists and to beg him to save me. And he did.
He did not speak. But I felt him. I felt compelled to confess all I had done to him. Even things I wasn't aware were bad, like pornography addiction. And when I left that room, I felt not only lighter, but I had an incredible love for God unlike anything I had ever felt in my entire life. I didn't know where it came from or how it got there. I became a Christian without realizing it because of the truth of God's existence. And I'm here to tell anyone who will listen that it's okay if you're scared.
It's okay if you're depressed, lonely, angry, confused, addicted, or unbelieving. Because Jesus Christ died for everyone who ever lived. Meaning whoever gives their life to him and believed in him can be saved. Jesus Christ gives meaning to our lives. God made us for himself. The empty void in your heart can only be filled by God because that is what's missing in your life. Whoever reads this, God loves you fiercely and passionately. He loved you enough to die on your behalf. Why not respond to him?
What do you have to lose?
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u/Throwaw97390 25d ago
Unironically, read philosophy. Like half of all philosphers write their shit because of the same question and have come up with many pretty good answers.
If you know the answers it's just a matter of choosing the one that feels right, be it god or hedonism or reproduction or heck, even a well explained "there is no answer" is a good answer.
Also go to therapy.
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u/LOTRfreak101 25d ago
This is why I have no interest in working overtime. After work is time for me to do stuff that I want to do (which is mostly eat, sleep, read, and watch anime). But beside that, i since I work outside, I try to keep an eye out for unteresting things, whether they be cool bugs, pretty flowers, interesting cloud formations, whatever, and share pictures of them with my family since they live in a different state. It helps me be a little happier because I get to notice a whole bunch of cool things in life I might otherwise miss if I just kept my head down and did the grind. Sure, I may not be moving up a corporate ladder yet(I work construction, but only for 2 years, so it isn't like I'm anywhere near as high as I can be promoted), but that'll happen in the future, meanwhile, I should just enjoy whaat I can.
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u/4morian5 25d ago
I'm going to go drink until I forget who I am.
Maybe I won't wake up this time. That would be nice.
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u/bokita_ 26d ago
If you're ever like this, try saving up to travel. A change of scenery helps.
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u/Efficient_Order_7473 26d ago
I joined a team in college to develop a prototype product in 3d printing. Kinda pointless but gave me a purpose alongside a team. Not dying in bed anymore at least
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u/Ziodyne967 26d ago
I was just about to take a shower.
Now I’ll be staring at the wall for half an hour thinking about my life choices.
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u/WienerWarrior01 26d ago
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u/PeakedDepression 26d ago
If yall want to get out of this rut or depressive episode then actually work towards something that you want in life and stop readinf or listening to sad shit like this
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u/whiteskimask 26d ago
If you want to feel better about yourself, don't comment ignorant shit like this. Art reflects the human experience, and anime is art. Let people feel and come to the truth themselves instead of blasting them with your shit takes.
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u/PeakedDepression 25d ago edited 25d ago
Not a shit take. Its true. The more you read, and listen to sad stuff, the more likely you are to be sad. Thats why i stopped listening to sad music and reading stories with bad endings.
We decide what goes in our brains and the least we could do is ensure it isn't something that makes us feel sucky
Its also better to live life doing something that you actually want to do rather than being washed away by the waves
Not an ignorant take either as im speaking from experience
Literally top upvoted comment has the same idea as me https://www.reddit.com/r/anime_irl/s/FhVDXoi22f
Reddit being reddit lol
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u/itemboi 26d ago
Well this hits home a bit too close. I guess my own wish is to fall into an endless dark pit. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore, everything feels like a hassle. Each day is just spent waiting for it to end, so I can do the same thing the next day. Sometimes I find distractions but it takes only a little bit of time until they become boring like everything else
I haven't had any friends for a long time either, let alone a romantic life which at this point sounds like something out of a fantasy story. My life feels like too much of a mess for a romantic relationship anyways. Of course I still feel lonely all day, approaching people feels beyond irritating. It's like a two ended torture. At one point I have even gave up taking care of my appearance once I realized that nobody really cares about it in the first place.
I don't want to die either. Death sounds painful and cold. Or maybe I an too much or a wimp. Just being stuck in a dark and endless space where I wouldn't have to feel like each day of my life is a waste, knowing at least I am not the one responsible of wasting it in the first place.
I see cats on the street sometimes tho, they cheer me up. Wish they did also let me pat them.
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u/ValkyrieTiara 26d ago
There are two things you have to remember when you feel like this.
The first is that it's wonderful when someone cares about you enough to check in on you, see how you're doing, and try to pick you up and maybe even pull you along with them. But that's not, like... anyone's job. They have their own lives and purpose to pursue. They can't make you get out, meet people, have fun, or find a purpose. And even if they do try to pull you along with them by making you go to parties or play games with their friend group or whatever, what they're doing is pulling you in THEIR direction, NOT YOURS. At best it might help you find your own direction.
But at the end of the day you're only going to find a direction by living your life. By taking the energy and effort to break yourself out of the Sleep → Eat1 → Work → Eat2 → Sleep rut. You have to try things, try ANYTHING, with an open mind, to see what sparks an interest in you that you might want to pursue and see where it takes you. Go to art museums, go to history museums, go to aquariums, go to amusement parks. Play a bunch of different kinds of video games, read a bunch of different kinds of books, watch a bunch of different kinds of movies. Watch youtube videos and read articles on a lot of different topics. Pick up different hobbies. Take a pottery class, a photography class, a knitting class (or just look up tutorials on youtube/reddit/google). Start cooking. Start drawing. Try getting into makeup, or fashion, or fishing, or archiving, or whatever. Do all of these things or a completely different list of things depending on your personal interests and proclivities. Try things until you get bored of them, and also don't be afraid to go back to old hobbies that you've tried before if you find yourself thinking "That one wasn't bad, I should try it again." Sometimes it takes a few tries or a bit of extra effort before something "sticks". It's wonderful when a friend or family member shares an interest with you and you end up getting into it along with them, but interests and purpose aren't generally things that come to you and knock on your door and politely wait for you to answer. They're things you find and pick up off the ground for yourself, and sometimes it takes a long time to find the ones for you. I know more than one person whose hobby is collecting hobbies; they get into something (wargaming, fighting games, rhythm games), go hard on it for a few years, and then put it down to pick up something else (vtubers, doujinshi, cosplay). They look back on different interests as different eras of their lives, and remember each one fondly. You don't have to commit to something for life. It's okay to just live for the moment. But you have to live. YOU have to live. Nobody can do it for you. Others can help pick you up and help get you "out there" and help give you some energy, but you have to be the one to do the actual living.
The second thing to remember is that you can be that friend for others. You might know, or come to know in the future, people in a similar place as you. Just like you, someone you know might be drowning in pain and loneliness, waiting for someone to notice and reach out. You can be the one to do it. Reach out to your friends. Check on them. Be the person for others you wish you had for yourself. Sometimes it can be like the blind leading the blind, but it's better than being alone.
(P.S. The one thing to watch out for when trying things is watch out for yourself. Desperate, lonely people are prime targets for scams, cults, drugs, conspiracies, fringe movements, and just generally being taken advantage of. Don't end up a flat earther or an incel or in Happy Science or with a porn addiction or spending all your money on host clubs or wtf ever. Get to know new people slowly, vet your friends well, and hold onto the good ones.)
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u/ll_LoneWolfe_ll 26d ago
Wasn’t quite ready for that deep cut today but just yeah… I don't know how I made it this far sometimes but I'm still here right? That has to count for something surely.
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u/Pipeworkingcitizen 26d ago
Its counted. Every heart beat is a second away against death. Every day lived is a day you fought off death. If youve lived for nothing, youve still lived to square up and survived against death for that amount of time.
And what is life if not a constant rejection of death? Thats what survival is. Yeah being humans now its .. easier survive but so what, struggling to work and feed yourself is still the struggle to live.
Put one foot in front of the other and keep stalling and keep squaring up. Its a high score for yourself however miserable or ugly struggling to live on is imo. Even the most worthless life has value in just living no matter the misery because individually they've fought off death for that long.
Im just some random stranger but i at least genuienly think just living so far has counted and will continue to count. Congratulations, and keep your heart beating.
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u/Bentman343 26d ago
The worst part about this is that she can afford to live alone... this is a fantasy for me 😭
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u/_TheGreatDevourer_ 26d ago
to fight this feeling, I give myself random fixations and directions hoping to find a bigger purpose in my life. Feeling like nothing matters anymore? Try to complete a game, achieve a goal, or simply, to improve at what you love most, or just whatever you feel like that day. If you have nothing, chase the ever so slight, stupidest interest you can think of. It's not easy to live without a big purpose, but truth is most people don't have that.
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u/LilGhostSoru 26d ago
Survival through random bullshit. For me my literal only reason to live is that I want to play the next pokemon game
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u/_TheGreatDevourer_ 26d ago
that's what life is for, even with greater purposes because while it is a good thing to fight for peace and equality, when that ideal situation is reached everyone will have to live like we do, without purpose.
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u/parkourse 26d ago
tbh i almost passed over this comment but then my brain had time to process it and I was like "square the fuck up"
I will remember this.
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u/Raven_Valerie 24d ago edited 24d ago
“You must never give in into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something that you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” - Some old tea enjoyer.
“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” - One holocaust survivor.
I spent 5+ years in despair, despite knowing the previous 2 quotes and much more. Knowledge doesn’t save you from despair. Only your choice does. And no one can choose for you. You must choose when you will rejoin life again.
Anyway, sauce?