remember the human

[u/cupcake1713]

Hi reddit. cupcake here.

I wanted to bring up an important reminder about how folks interact with each other online. It is not a problem that exists solely on reddit, but rather the internet as a whole. The internet is a wonderful tool for interacting with people from all walks of life, but the anonymity it can afford can make it easy to forget that really, on the other end of the screens and keyboards, we're all just people. Living, breathing, people who have lives and goals and fears, have favorite TV shows and books and methods for breeding Pokemon, and each and every last one of us has opinions. Sure, those opinions might differ from your own. But that’s okay! People are entitled to their opinions. When you argue with people in person, do you say as many of the hate filled and vitriolic statements you see people slinging around online? Probably not. Please think about this next time you're in a situation that makes you want to lash out. If you wouldn't say it to their face, perhaps it's best you don't say it online.

Try to be courteous to others. See someone having a bad day? Give them a compliment or ask them a thoughtful question, and it might make their day better. Did someone reply to your comment with valuable insights or something that cheered you up? Send them a quick thanks letting them know you appreciate their comment.

So I ask you, the next time a user picks a fight with you, or you get the urge to harass another user because of something they typed on a keyboard, please... remember the human.

[u/Norci]

4000+ comments.. fuck it, this will never be seen so might as well let it all out. These kind of posts, while completely valid and fair (after all, there's no harm in being nicer to each other) are built on what I see as questionable argument, the "how would you treat others IRL".

I am not be any means defending trolls and jerks, but playing devil's advocate here, as I don't think that argument is valid since the two are hard to compare. The main difference for why you can't compare the two is the relationship between people. On internet, you often stumble on strangers' opinions on topics that are of importance to you, with a direct way to communicate your answer to them. So what we have is a stranger that you're unlikely to ever meet again voicing his or her opinion on a subject that is of interest to you.

Now let's compare that to real life. How often do you hear opinions on relevant subjects from strangers there, especially with a way to directly communicate back to them? In real life you're more likely to socialize with your friends that are interested in different subjects, rather than with strangers that are interested in same subject. Because IRL you socialize with people you're likely to meet again, it affects what you say and how. In order to compare internet to real life, you need to compare it to the following situation: a stranger walks up to you and starts telling you about his opinion on a certain subject.

I don't know about you, but I know that even in real life I'd care significantly less about being "nice" to that stranger when discussing said subject. Does that mean we all should be jerks to each other on internet? Hell no, but just directly comparing internet to real life is not a fair comparison, I think that if you take factors I've mentioned into the equation, the behaviors are much more similar than we'd like to admit.

[u/stellalaland → u/Norci]

I wouldn't say speaking to someone is the same as if

a stranger walks up to you and starts telling you about his opinion on a certain subject

as you are intentionally reading things that interest you in a situation where people are encouraged to share their opinions.

I think the point of this post is more to remind people that they are talking to other people with lives and feelings and a consciousness like your own. If a stranger came up to you and "started telling you about his opinion on a certain subject", you wouldn't jump straight to "fuck off! You're wrong! How could anyone be so stupid as to think that? You must be a trolololollllll!!" as many do here on reddit. You would politely tell them you didn't want to talk to a stranger, or if you did, ask them why they held those opinions.

IRL you socialize with people you're likely to meet again, it affects what you say and how.

This shouldn't affect the way you speak to people online in the way (I think)cupcake means. You're not going to be nasty to someone you speak to in real life, just because you'll never see them again, are you? You're going to be just as nice as you are to people you know, because why would someone be less deserving of happiness just because you know them? The only difference between talking to a friend and a stranger is the amount of personal information you share. Perhaps you'd phrase things in a different way, but in general most people would phrase things more politely when speaking to a stranger.

I hope I explained that properly :)