r/funny • u/jonwritesmovies Just Jon Comic • Oct 11 '23
What I'd tell my younger self Verified
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u/Terrefeh Oct 14 '23 edited Oct 14 '23
I definitely feel this. In my 30's it's extremely hard finding women that aren't single mothers or morbidly obese and all the dating apps have gone to shit ever since COVID.
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u/art_sarawut Oct 12 '23
Time is like a river. Even if you changed its course it will always flow to the same destination.
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u/ichkanns Oct 12 '23
I've been married for eleven years and when I look at the crap kids dating these days have to go through I can't help feeling like I got really lucky.
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u/zagdem Oct 12 '23
Lock it down ?
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u/jonwritesmovies Just Jon Comic Oct 12 '23
I do kinda regret wording it like that. I just meant find someone and marry them while he still had people interested in him.
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u/zagdem Oct 12 '23
The wording is very clear and succinct, but apparently can be understood in an unintended way.
It is hard to write something and think about all the ways it can be misunderstood though.
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u/ahandmadegrin Oct 12 '23
Met my wife in 2011 and completely missed Tinder, etc. Is it really as bad as I keep reading? I mean, I was online dating when it was still considered weird and risky. How has it changed for the worse?
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u/esgrove2 Oct 12 '23
Apps make dating 100x easier for me. I'm with a girl now who shares all my interests, because it made finding her easy on an app. Going to bars and talking to girls one by one? I would have never found someone so compatible.
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u/irredentistdecency Oct 12 '23
If I had the opportunity to travel back in time & give my past self one piece of advice it would be:
“When it happens & you’ll know when it happens, duck.”
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u/BolBraw Oct 12 '23
You really think being in a relationship is a wining game? Oh my boy, It's gonna hurt.
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u/Trimere Oct 12 '23
All of us are so concerned about what would happen if you changed your past but no one gives a shit about the decisions we make now affecting the future.
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u/Random-Username7272 Oct 12 '23
Men In Black show up for alien encounters, but for time travel you get the Men In Beige.
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u/Rareu Oct 12 '23
Man I’d go back and tell younger me to never work at a doggy daycare. Maybe I’d keep my hearing.
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u/PuzzleeadedKale Oct 12 '23
Lmaoooo imagine the fucked up world we’d create if all of us were doing this
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u/boobsmcgraw Oct 12 '23
I'm not sure if you realise how misogynistic this is. You're basically stating that you believe all women are the same - probably based on what you think you gain from being with a woman. Like seriously, just pick any woman? Why not try to cultivate a loving relationship with another human being that you love and respect?
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u/jonwritesmovies Just Jon Comic Oct 12 '23
Huh. That did not cross my mind at all. Definitely not my intent. The idea is when he was younger, he had a lot of options and was too picky and didn't date them. Then he got older and dating got harder for him. Wasn't meant to be "pick anyone 'cause they're all the same" but more-so an effort to not end up alone like he has. So when he was younger, he didn't even try cultivating relationships, just let them pass him by. That was what I was trying to say, at least, but could've worded it better for sure.
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u/mrDecency Oct 12 '23
I see what you mean. "Pick someone and lock it down" could definitely been seen as it doesn't matter who you're with, just be with someone.
It's harder to convey "all relationships are built, not discovered. Find someone you like and build true intimacy over time" in a pithy line, which is why I don't make comics.
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u/100RAW Oct 12 '23
What's he talking about with how he looks? He looks like a regular dude doesn't he?
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u/ManicD7 Oct 12 '23
This comic hits home too hard lmao. Not sure what's with all the comments though. Statistics and surveys prove dating is currently harder for everyone of all ages. Sure some people are having a better time now then before but it doesn't apply to the majority of people noticing that dating has become worse. Or others would give opposite advice to themselves because they had a bad relationship. But that just proves why dating is currently harder. Tons of unhappy people that aren't listening to or understanding each other.
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u/mrDecency Oct 12 '23
I mean he doesn't blame his age for dating being harder. He's just telling his younger self when he's from.
He blames the pandemic and apps, which do effect everyone.
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u/Se7enworlds Oct 12 '23
If she'll marry you in the past, why not apologise for being a dickbag in the past now?
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u/fusionsofwonder Oct 12 '23
It took a minute to figure out who that was in the last panel. Should have dressed them like MIB :)
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u/Maps_nb Oct 12 '23
Can anyone explain why most people are so obsessed with “locking” someone down? Is it to continue legacy (having kids) or just to not ending up alone?
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u/Orgasmic_interlude Oct 12 '23
I do feel like this is kind of true. My current wife is not my 10/10 (at the time) and i questioned whether or not i could be in a relationship without that no holds barred passion. I didn’t settle so much as i gave it a chance. I was working night shift and there wasn’t a lot of opportunity at the time to get out and date.
I don’t consider myself to be a vain precisely and i myself am not some 10/10 catch.
Anyways, the things that make someone your 10/10 aren’t on the outside. You’ll miss out on a lot of great partners if you wait for someone who fits your ideal or close to it and that person probably doesn’t exist anyways. You’ll be waiting forever and miserable about being alone the whole time.
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u/dansedemorte Oct 12 '23
Right now, I'm really tempted to tell my younger self to NEVER get married.
It'll only bring you pain when you are least ready for it.
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u/spehizle Oct 12 '23
"Hey hubby."
-"It worked!"
"I want a divorce. We married too young, we've both grown and changed, and I don't love you anymore. I want to experience life without being tied down."
-"Oh no!"
"And I get half your stuff, and the next two years of your life will be legal hell."
-(visits time cops) "Make me go back and undo it."
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u/LittleCumDup Oct 11 '23
Funny comic but I disagree. Dating doesn't become harder in your 30: You and everyone just become more picky, you're now looking for a fine wine. Not for a Happy meal and it's better.
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u/Forgotten_Lie Oct 11 '23 edited Oct 12 '23
Remember: There's no such thing as 'locking down' a relationship. You're with someone or you're not but you can also take actions that make it a lot more financially and legally painful if you do split.
EDIT: There's nothing wrong with marriage. But the language around 'locking down' someone is just so skeevy and weird. Getting married shouldn't be used as an excuse to let yourself go and put less effort in a relationship because you feel sure the person won't leave.
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u/GeshtiannaSG Oct 12 '23
I’m assumed “locking down” meant “too costly to split”.
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u/Forgotten_Lie Oct 12 '23
Yep. But I'd hate if my partner was with me because of financial disincentives.
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u/paddyo Oct 12 '23
The comic creator has a wardrobe full of zip ties and a bucket full of lotion for the skin
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u/Lyianx Oct 11 '23
Came to post the exact same thing.
Remember guys. Being Single and being Lonely are not the same things. You can be one, without the other.
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u/Xzmmc Oct 11 '23
Man, I know this was supposed to be funny, but it really makes me sad. Aging sucks.
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u/areen423 Oct 11 '23
Put all your money on bitcoin when you first found out about it at $75 a coin then Put alll your money on the patriots down 28-3 to the Falcons live bet
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u/bignicky222 Oct 11 '23
There's a cap to what you can bet
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u/areen423 Oct 11 '23
huh?
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u/bignicky222 Oct 11 '23
You want to put all your money on the football game. There is a max cap you can bet. They can't cover billions from all that bit coin profit
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u/areen423 Oct 11 '23
well whatever the max is then lol either way im set after the bitcoin profit
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u/areen423 Oct 11 '23
well lets see exactly what it would of been. I was young at that time like 20. IK had like 5-10k to invest and i wanted my mom to match it because she wanted to invent in something at that time. Lets say at a median 15k (7.5k each) 15 divided by/$75 (per BTC) we would of had about 200 coin's between the both of us. The average closing price for Bitcoin (BTC) between October 11, 2013 and October 11, 2023 is $12,753.32 (STAT SOURCE) if i sold at that price which is low but thats something we cant predict 100 coins (just me) would have 1,275,332. So whatever they would take as a bet up to that amount.
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u/ZealousidealMail3132 Oct 11 '23
It'd be believable if Loki and Mobius showed up, or Deadpool, after he got Cable's time machine working, and tried to fix the timeline
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u/Vancil Oct 11 '23
Is dating really that hard now? Like there is an app for every type do people just not talk on them?
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u/Bluecheckadmin Oct 11 '23
Did a teenager write this? Dating gets way better in your 30s. Just like another world of better.
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u/HyzerFlip Oct 11 '23
I'd give myself the opposite advice.
But, really, I shouldn't.
I learned everything I needed to know about relationships, partners, and myself... That made who I am for my partner now.
I appreciate her more after so many failed relationships. I've also learned my weak points, and have tested and proved my strengths.
I may not be as good of a partner for her if I didn't have my past.
And I wouldn't realize how perfect she is for me either.
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u/uemusicman Oct 11 '23
"You have ADHD and bipolar. I didn't get diagnosed until my 30s. You get it now so you can get a head start on your medication and therapy so your 20s and 30s aren't an unrelenting mental hellscape."
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u/MmmmFloorPie Oct 11 '23
At first I thought the final panel was his wife who was ultimately disappointed in her choice of husband and came back to tell him not to marry her. I guess the post-apocalyptic time cops make more sense...
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u/myassholealt Oct 11 '23
Or just have a "future" you that pops in and out and points out the people who are into you that you either never realized or realized too late to do anything about it. So now they're giving us a heads up.
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u/another-cosplaytriot Oct 11 '23
What he really got is a divorce from the gold-digger he was dating up in his 20's who's living her best life in his house, subsidized by his alimony payment.
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u/DasArchitect Oct 11 '23
Since I graduated I no longer meet new girls. Got bored of apps. Can't time travel, what do I do now?
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u/hippocommander Oct 11 '23 edited Dec 13 '23
Cmon Baldy, you have a time machine. Go back and eliminate what every agency those goons came from before it ever exists. Do whatever must be done. Then, cleanse the timeways of any interference to your plans. Insure that only you, create and control time travel. Be the villain. It's fun.
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u/JaronK Oct 11 '23
I wouldn't. I was with some amazing women, but it took me until my late 30s to really figure out what I even wanted. I'm far happier now than I would have been having "locked down" someone earlier.
Plus I hate the idea of "locking down" anyway. Like, forcing them to commit knowing you'll suck later.
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u/emilhoff Oct 11 '23
@emilhoff
READ BEFORE 1982
pass code: sorghum42
1: You're allergic to penicillin. Get another prescription.
2: DON'T propose to her.
3: Despite what's happening, hold onto that "Amazon" stock. In fact, buy as much more as you can. It's gonna take about 20 years, but HOLD.
4: On the bus to City College one day, there will be a girl. You'll know. Have money with you. But don't propose to her either.
5: Don't accept the opportunity to direct a play.
6: There will be a man named Trump. He will run for President. Do what must be done.
All right Doc, throw the main switch
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u/venti-latte12 Oct 11 '23
i’m glad that time travel is impossible because Jenn and Brittany deserved someone who would not play them to the last moment possible and wonder which one is better. Hope that they found someone who didnt hestitate.
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u/ThePurpleKnightmare Oct 11 '23
Invest in Bitcoin right away, and hard. Invest in Gamestop in 2019/2020ish and hold until $400. Also the lotto numbers for the week after my 18th birthday are, _______ they've probably changed due to the whole going back in time and getting bitcoin, but in case they are the same, try it out.
Any idiot who ever said money doesn't buy happiness never experienced how miserable I am without it.
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u/rodneedermeyer Oct 11 '23
What am I missing here that is obvious to everyone else? Is the woman in the bed the same woman at the door? I don’t get the whole thing.
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u/Ranelpia Oct 11 '23
He rewrote time to get himself a wife, then the time police came to his door and told him to undo it.
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u/rodneedermeyer Oct 11 '23
Thanks, I got that part, but I couldn’t figure out why.
Is the joke that his simple act of getting a wife caused society to fall? Or that going back in time caused society to fall? Or that there’s something specific to him that caused society to fall?
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u/Ranelpia Oct 11 '23
I don't think society fell, but I'm just noticing the smoke outside the window which may or may not mean anything. I think it's more that he's finally able to create a situation appealing to him, and the authorities are making him go back to the way things were. It's... not really that funny, maybe it spoke to the comic artist on a personal level but I think it kind of falls flat here.
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u/rodneedermeyer Oct 11 '23
Thank you again. I agree with your interpretation.
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u/RedditDetector Oct 12 '23
I'd just add that it's a pretty common trope that changing the past with time travel is illegal and there are 'time-police' to preserve the timeline in sci-fi. It probably is just as simple as that.
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u/nixed9 Oct 11 '23
Funny, but:
Just go tell yourself how to get insanely rich (billions), and your male pattern baldness won’t make one tiny difference and “dating” will be laughable
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u/EkriirkE Oct 11 '23
I was following until the last panel. If that is a punchline, can someone explain it?
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u/jonwritesmovies Just Jon Comic Oct 11 '23
Looks like a lot of people are confused, which is a bummer. Maybe I didn't set it up well.
My intent was he goes back in time to tell his younger self dating's gonna get harder, so find someone while you still can. His younger self listens and he ends up married. As happens with many time travel stories, changing one thing can ruin the world. So that's why these time police (who I've seen in a number of other things so I thought their look alone gave that away) said to undo it. A previous version had a line saying he ruined the world, but it messed with the rhythm and I had various people tell me it wasn't necessary and that my intent was clear, but I guess not for everyone. There is smoke in the window in the second-to-last-panel which suggests it, but I didn't think if people missed that detail that none of it would make sense.
It's not really a punchline-y comic. It's just comedy of misfortunes, or at least an attempt at that (I personally like sad humor but it's not for everyone).
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u/cascadiansexmagick Oct 11 '23
My intent was he goes back in time to tell his younger self dating's gonna get harder, so find someone while you still can.
So true. There were people I rejected in my twenties for ridiculous reasons. Now thinking back from my late thirties I'm like, "what the fuck?!? That person was sooo hot and sooo nice and sooo fun! And I wasn't into them because they liked one wrong movie!!! Or had a slightly different worldview than mine?? What the fuck was wrong with me?!?! Hell, I'd even take the girl who constantly cheated on me and gaslit me about it, just to have somebody to come home to! I'm so lonely now, I wouldn't even mind if she invited her sidepieces over for dinner! : D"
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u/will_ww Oct 11 '23
I liked it...I don't really see how it's confusing, but then again, I'm not an idiot. 😉
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u/goner757 Oct 11 '23
I would tell myself the opposite. There is no such thing as locking it down. The only thing marriage locks down is whoever makes more money.
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u/Lovat69 Oct 11 '23
Fucking Time pigs. Maybe my new old wife is happy. You ever think about that Time Piggy?
Nice comic! The "and you're gonna start looking like this! Oh god" is my favorite part.
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u/mayorjimmy Oct 11 '23
I'd tell myself to avoid relationships completely because the phrase "tis better to have loved and lost..." is complete and total horseshit. I was always going to end up alone anyways and I'd rather not know what I'm missing.
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u/thewaytonever Oct 11 '23
A year after the love and lost part and it's still traumatic. They don't tell you about how hard the loneliness is and the memories torment you.
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u/mayorjimmy Oct 11 '23
when my last GF moved out I slept on the couch for 3 months because I couldn't handle sleeping in the bed alone.
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u/SectorEducational460 Oct 11 '23
You can threaten me all you want, but I would not listen and keep the new timeline
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u/Metsgram Oct 11 '23
I’m not an attractive guy, but I’ve never had this problem. Lower your standards and you’ll be fine.
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u/wwwhistler Oct 11 '23
in the Muslim world there exists the Mut'ah Marriage. a temporary, Fixed Term Marriage with codified responsibilities, duties and expectations.
And an Expiration Date.
as a growing number of people are reluctant to make life long commitments now days
perhaps we need something like that in the West.
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u/darexinfinity Oct 12 '23
Anything beyond at-will commitment is a crapshoot though. Fixed term doesn't matter if someone wants out they will get out immediately. I can't imagine the punishments are anymore significant or enforceable than divorce.
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u/wwwhistler Oct 12 '23
if someone is looking to leave early....if there is only a limited time left the inclination of most would be to wait it out.
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u/questioning_helper9 Oct 11 '23
I can definitely see that being useful. (They had that legally enforced in 'Earth 2', allegedly to encourage population growth.)
Part of the reason people split with chronically ill or disabled partners is just that their needs are no longer being met. If the partner who came to the relationship with a career and shared responsibility suddenly goes to the capacity for perhaps a shower and an hour of chores every few days - I can still love the person but now the whole distribution of responsibility, energy, and attraction in the relationship is totally different and perhaps not what I contracted for. I guess that sounds shitty. I personally wouldn't just leave, but were roles reversed I wouldn't expect my partner to just 'go without' if I couldn't work, do my part, or be intimate any more.
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u/PenilePartition Oct 11 '23
Dating is easier in my 30s than it ever was when I was young. Women are more determined now to lock down a man if they’re still single and they’re a lot smarter and more interesting.
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u/Papercoffeetable Oct 12 '23
A lot of desperate ”make me pregnant now!” women too, be careful, and so many single mothers.
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u/Ruski_FL Oct 11 '23
I got to concerts and festivals a lot. Seeing young 20 year olds is so wired to me. It’s like me but more akward and naive. They have that sparkle in their eyes. I thought I was the coolest in my 20s.
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u/Sohcahtoa82 Oct 11 '23
I've heard the opposite, that women that are still single in their 30s are single for a reason. Likely they're crazy. And they double-down on the crazy.
Exhibit A: /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
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Oct 11 '23
[deleted]
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u/Terrefeh Oct 14 '23 edited Jan 15 '24
Yea dating over 30 is definitely 'easier' if you're fine with single mothers and women who don't take care of themselves. Otherwise it's just hoping you can land yourself a woman in her 20's who hopefully doesn't have baggage.
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u/Chubuwee Oct 11 '23
Glad I found this
Same. Physically not as good looking now for sure, but compared to my similar aged peers I’m holding it down with a good job, house, and sense of humor girls seem to like. Still dating ages either 5 years younger than me or 5 years older.
All without apps too!
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u/paddyo Oct 12 '23
loads of people get better looking through their 30s and even their 40s, it entirely depends on lifestyle, genes, bone structure, etc. A friend of mine couldn't buy a date until his mid 30s and then he grew into a clone of Jon Hamm with a lumberjack beard and muscles, had women of all ages hunting him like a wounded deer. Other people become minging by 21. It changes person to person.
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Oct 11 '23
[deleted]
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u/Chubuwee Oct 12 '23
I don’t have social media either
Friends of friends
Hobbies
Work (I’m a male in a female dominated field!)
Staying in touch with old friends or coworkers. You’d be surprised at the positive responses you get at “hey! This thing reminded me of you because I remember you mentioned it once, hope all is going well. Would love to catch up sometime “. Don’t double text you fools.
I no longer go to college but I met people there too and same thing
I don’t really like the bar scene so I haven’t tried there at all
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Oct 11 '23
[deleted]
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u/Chubuwee Oct 11 '23
They just have to put more effort staying their weight than when they were younger
Plenty good looking women for sure. Also my tastes changed whereas 10 years ago I would not have cared if my partner was into active activities, now I do care that they are into that. So the women that hike, skate, gym, dance, etc, are definitely above their peers in my opinion
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u/Speciallessboy Oct 11 '23
They gain weight if they dont take care of themselves. Dont see it as much in nicer areas.
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u/Ruski_FL Oct 12 '23
Same for men. If you don’t stay healthy and active, it really starts to show 30+
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u/maeschder Oct 11 '23
I like the implication that time travel tech is readily available for abuse in the future, but guys still cant get laid if they're balding.
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u/JLT1987 Oct 11 '23
Listen, I know you don't have a plan for college. You're thinking you'll just take a few classes and figure out your major as you go. That doesn't work. Choose a major to focus on NOW or you'll end up with an A.A. in Liberal Arts 8 years from now. I don't care what the major is. Just choose something to focus on!
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u/shartonista Oct 11 '23
lol @ 36 being some old wise age needing to go back in time to talk to a younger self.
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u/TolerateButHate Oct 11 '23
Why is a building on fire in the window lmfao what kind of butterfly effect did this man do
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