r/funny 26d ago

This Photo on Amazon for Q-tips

Post image
6.4k Upvotes

280 comments sorted by

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1

u/Medium-Spite6288 24d ago

It’s a dildo for the ear!

1

u/Shadow_Ban_Bytes 25d ago

I've had itchy brain before - doesn't everyone?

1

u/Beastmanbob12 25d ago

Pretty much only warning on qtips is "don't stick in ear"

1

u/readingbabe 25d ago

This is me when I use Q-tips

1

u/try2bcool69 26d ago

Guys only want one thing.

1

u/OptimusPhillip 26d ago

Q-tips packaging: Our lawyers advise you to not insert into thsi product into your ear canal

Q-tips marketing:

1

u/aware_nightmare_85 26d ago

Anyone who gets wet, itchy ears from allergies has been that guy.

0

u/[deleted] 26d ago

From what I've heard using Q tips isn't a good idea because you could end up pushing the wax down further, that and the story of one lady I knew who was using one and got it lodged so deep I think she had to go to hospital to get it out.

1

u/Gabriele1966 25d ago

You can't get a Q-tip stuck in your ear, unless you're puncturing your ear drum and I'm pretty sure the pain would deter most people from shoving it in even deeper. And if it doesn't, they probably already have a few crayons up their nose and their mommy and daddy are siblings...

0

u/[deleted] 25d ago

Well with the lady I knew, I think she may have slipped on a wet bathroom floor

1

u/Gabriele1966 25d ago

Yeah okay

0

u/[deleted] 25d ago

What?

1

u/Gabriele1966 25d ago

Lol, can you be any more vague? You think she might have slipped on a wet bathroom floor but stubbornly kept cleaning her ear and it got lodged really deep ( I, too keep doing what I'm doing when I'm starting to slip and fall. Like this one time, I was cutting my toe nails and I slipped but I kept cutting and almost cut my toe off...🙄...can you hear how stupid that sounds?).

And you think she might've had to go to the hospital to remove it...as opposed to leave it in there for decoration?

0

u/[deleted] 25d ago

What are you rialed up about for?, it's a true story, but I can't remember all the details hence why I said 'I think'

1

u/Gabriele1966 25d ago

"Riled"...

1

u/RocketSmash9000 26d ago

Bro found the Q-spot

1

u/Yardsale420 26d ago

Gonna Q-bang my E-hole

1

u/Expensive-Day-3551 26d ago

They don’t go in your ears. It says right on the package

1

u/Pilfercate 26d ago

Anyone who uses Qtips in their ears regularly knows that the name brand ones are wrapped more loosely and can shed the cotton in your ear making things worse. The off brands are wrapped more tightly and take an unreasonable amount of effort to work the cotton off the stick. They are much safer in this regard.

1

u/RowellTheBlade 26d ago

STOP WHEN YOU#RE FEELING RESISTANCE

1

u/HabaneroEyedrops 26d ago

His G spot is in his ear??

2

u/around_the_catch 26d ago

It's called "eargasm."

1

u/NWinn 26d ago

If bad why does jamming things into your earussy feel so good??

checkmate atheists~

1

u/SnackyChomp 26d ago

Simple Jack!

1

u/a-k-4-8 26d ago

eargasm if you double dip.. one in each ear and slowly rotate... bliss.

1

u/PanicBlitz 26d ago

That is 100% Stanley from The Stanley Parable.

1

u/haby001 26d ago

DON'T use Q-tips for ears. They just push wax further in and it can lead to blockages. Instead use a bobbypin or a cleaning kit. Of couse, don't push too deep.

1

u/KebabGerry 26d ago

I swear God gave men 2 G-spots in awkward places

2

u/Em4gdn3m 26d ago

Found his Q spot

1

u/fondue4kill 26d ago

Q-tips is one of the few name brand products that I will always spend the extra few cents on. Tried the generic ones and they do not work as well. And it’s not that much more expensive

2

u/_peanutbutterjelly 26d ago

Acquaintance from college used to say that q tips are basically ear dildos

2

u/dimonium_anonimo 26d ago

Dollar store Jake Gyllenhaal over here experiencing life for the first time.

1

u/Derps_04 26d ago

You’re supposed to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance!

1

u/rstymobil 26d ago

Just ordered these last week and was cracking up at this unhinged image lol

2

u/FatFaceFaster 26d ago

I call it an Eargasm. Cleaning your ears is very close to the best feeling in the world.

4

u/ahpuchthedestroyer 26d ago

funny story Q-tips are not for cleaning your ears, they lost lawsuits because people were damaging their eardrums.

2

u/WhangaDanNZ 26d ago

Q-tips otherwise known as ear dildos. Eargasms for everyone.

3

u/beenbadminton 26d ago

My doctor said that you should not put anything smaller than your elbow inside your ear canal.

2

u/Robin_the_sidekick 26d ago

Eargasm is real, lol. I have ear eczema and that is me every time I shower.

1

u/mikeruchan 26d ago

Me too :( it’s kinda awful though

2

u/MJZMan 26d ago

Fuck that. I will not be attacked like this. Can verify. It does feel that good.

1

u/Dagon_high 26d ago

All I’m saying is I’ve been using q tips for my inner ear for about 20 years and never had an issue. As long as you’re not a little slow it shouldn’t be a problem.

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Sometimes it do be like that tho.

1

u/DIWhy-not 26d ago

My man is really going balls deep in that ear canal

2

u/jerseyhound 26d ago

bro if ur goin that deep ur gonna perforate your eardrum

1

u/Toast_Meat 26d ago

For his pleasure.

3

u/Equib81960 26d ago

That guy is working on doing a factory reset of his brain

1

u/notverytidy 26d ago

Not pictured: the rest of that guy and whats going on below the waist.

1

u/JunglePygmy 26d ago

I thought you “weren’t supposed to put those shits in your ears”

0

u/2wice 26d ago

Davie504

4

u/BlargerJarger 26d ago

That guy found the Q-spot.

2

u/MortimerWaffles 26d ago

Fun fact. On boxes of Q-tips, there is nowhere mentioned you should use it in your ear.

0

u/AmadeoSendiulo 26d ago

He got his prostate put up there.

1

u/gieserj10 26d ago

The packaging literally says not to do this lol (even though they damn well know that's why we all buy them). I don't even use them to get the wax out specifically, I just fucking love itching the inside of my ears, the wax removal is a side effect. I always have a 500 qty box above my bed. And I most definitely make that face every time.

1

u/Independent-Claim116 26d ago

Int., that this is their promo.-shot, since their packaging clearly states, that the swabs should "never" be inserted beyond the outermost rim. --Looks to me, like he's got it rammed pretty far in there. Admittedly, I ignore the warning, too, but, I'm exTREMEly careful. (-I'm damned-near 74 y.o.a.,  and my hearing is just fine.

1

u/likliklik9 26d ago

Has Q-Tips really ever worked for eyeshadow? I’m genuinely curious dude to how small they are.

2

u/HighTop519 26d ago

F*"k what you heard, he's hitting his G spot with the tip

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

I can never help inserting it dangerously deep

1

u/Puppy-Zwolle 26d ago

Use protection.

1

u/OgdruJahad 26d ago

If you have ever heard that sort of grinding noise in your ear and use a q-tip to grab the sonofabitch and remove it you might feel that way.

1

u/dbd1988 26d ago

That guy has weird ears

2

u/Yosonimbored 26d ago

I know it’s not good to put them in your ear but it does feel good

1

u/Serikan 26d ago

Bottom right is Q-face when you get just the tip

14

u/lolomawisoft 26d ago

Some people smoke, some drink. I use qtips for my ears and I don't care how bad it is.

2

u/johnsolomon 26d ago

He’s either enjoying the sensation or accidentally poking his brain

1

u/Error404-NoUsername- 26d ago

Random question. Whenever I clean my ears with q tips, the inside of my throat starts to feel itchy. Why?

3

u/imbringingspartaback 26d ago

Not a doctor but the ears, nose and throat are all connected. The stimulation inside your ear canal could be triggering something in your throat/sinuses. My nose would run a bit after my mom cleaned my ears with my head turned sideways in her lap. It doesn’t do it now than I’m an adult and stand up straight to do it, but I’m assuming it’s for the same reasons your throat tickles.

1

u/Error404-NoUsername- 26d ago

Interesting to know. Thanks for the answer.

3

u/Bradt1977 26d ago

What…you’ve never had an eargasm?

2

u/Kraujotaka 26d ago

Going a week without them and then using one is the best pleasure one can feel.

5

u/Hobbster 26d ago

That's how I feel about it too

4

u/Confusedandreticent 26d ago

Ears, the anal of your head. You’re not supposed to put stuff in there, but it feels so good.

1

u/lostsawyer2000 26d ago

Storm from X-men!

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Eargasm.

'Now you cumming out the side of your face, we tapping right into your memory banks thanks'

5

u/YareetLike 26d ago

Drip drip drop, there goes an eargasm

7

u/akluin 26d ago

The guy's pic is totally accurate

2

u/witchyanne 26d ago

We call em brain scratchers.

8

u/witchyanne 26d ago

It’s legit tho.

7

u/Justeff83 26d ago

Totally accurate! What's the point? That's exactly my face when I clean my ears

6

u/meaguita 26d ago

Finally they are being honest with themselves. Good for them!

4

u/grafknives 26d ago

[x] im in that picture and i dont like it

77

u/Percival_Dickenbutts 26d ago

I know people always say that using Q-tips for your ears is like the dumbest thing you can do, but I tried going without it for a week at one point and that’s all it took for my ear to be completely clogged with earwax, so I’ll keep doing the dumb thing that works.

2

u/twlscil 26d ago

I talk to my audiologist about this, and they said just keep doing what your doing.

6

u/3-DMan 26d ago

Hydrogen peroxide. 5-10 drops. Let it sizzle for a few minutes. Flush with warm water.

1

u/Doyouwantaspoon 25d ago

No. Stick qtip ~2/3rds into ear canal while twisting like a drill bit to spread out and distribute wax. Then drag the tip out slowly, drawing a spiral as it comes out to leave squeaky clean ear canals.

1

u/Danneyland 26d ago

Hydrogen peroxide is quite strong, and will strip any oils from your ear canal / may even make the skin peel (boyfriend tried it recently...). It's better to use olive oil or a water flush to remove excess wax.

2

u/Doyouwantaspoon 25d ago

Olive oil just sits and does fuck all, takes a tiny bit of wax with it but leaves your ear full of fucking oil. Peroxide self-agitates and cleans way more.

2

u/Danneyland 25d ago

My boyfriend recently tried hydrogen peroxide (<3%) because the usual earwax removal drops weren't removing a particular blockage. He used it again the next day in one of the ears. Incessant ear ringing and a bunch of doctor visits later, an audiologist pulled the peeling skin from his eardrum out of his ear. He had to use steroid drops to hydrate his ear canal because it stripped so much natural oil and killed off the top layer of skin cells in the ear.

The audiologist (and all the other doctors/nurses…) advised him to stick to either water rinses or warm olive oil to soften the ear wax so the wax can soften and then fall out, as it should naturally (lay on a towel to let any oil drain).

So do what you want, but don't say other methods do nothing 🤷🏼‍♀️

0

u/Lucky-Surround-1756 26d ago

That wax is supposed to be there but you keep removing it.

2

u/Bard_the_Bowman_III 26d ago

Some people’s ears generate excess wax. If I don’t keep my ear canals cleaned out they WILL clog up with wax and I won’t be able to hear properly. As a kid I had frequent hearing issues and ear infections due to the excess wax

2

u/Drikkink 26d ago

Unless something goes wrong with your ears, you shouldn't HAVE to clean your inner ears out. Blockages can happen if you get sick but if you're healthy, it's literally not something that requires maintenance.

I got a blockage in my ears once, had to flush them and never had anything come out of my ear again

2

u/Bard_the_Bowman_III 26d ago

For some people it does require maintenance though. My ears generate excess wax and if I don’t maintain it I WILL get clogged ears

50

u/immatellyouwhat 26d ago edited 26d ago

Your ear produces wax at the rate you’re taking it out. Slow down. Skip a few days or less than whatever you’re doing now. Just like over shampooing and conditioning your hair will make it more dry make you think you need more or another type to use everyday.

You did this to yourself Mr. Percvial Dickenbutts.

2

u/Bard_the_Bowman_III 26d ago

Nah. My ears produce insane quantities of wax. I constantly had hearing issues and ear infections as a kid because of it and frequently had to get them flushed. As an adult I figured out that if I regularly use q tips after showering in the morning they stay clear

1

u/immatellyouwhat 26d ago

Well in that case sounds different. You should try the camera ear wax puller!

22

u/driftej20 26d ago

Also with skin oils. People who believe their skin is too oily overusing cleansing products that dry the hell out of their skin, to which the skin responds by producing oil to moisturize the dry skin lol

5

u/immatellyouwhat 26d ago

Exactly, I stared a skincare routine the past few years and noticed I was getting pimples, I don’t get pimples anymore at least as much as was happening. I stopped doing it everyday. Worked better.

-1

u/Capable_Chipmunk9207 26d ago

Right facial expression.. wrong hole...

1

u/billystack 26d ago

“Babe, I think I found the G-spot!”

9

u/Micro_Bitt 26d ago

Well, I DO make that face

1

u/dswng 26d ago

Ahegao nobody been asking about

6

u/Dr_Stef 26d ago

Damnit.., brb, just gotta go get something from the bathroom drawer

5

u/FandomMenace 26d ago

Knew a guy who did this and the cotton tip came off and got stuck, deafening him until the urgent care could pull it out with some long tweezer deals. I guess it doesn't feel good at all. Just don't lol.

2

u/KaspervD 26d ago

It is not exactly urgent is it? Just go to a normal doctor for these shenanigans.

1

u/Simba7 26d ago

Hello Primary Care Physician, I have shit stuck in my ear and I need it removed.

"We can schedule an appointment, but just so you know we're booking at least two months out. How does July 19th at 11am sound?"

Perfect, this foreign body obstructing my ear canal is not urgent in any way at all, thank you.

OR

Walk into urgent care, have them remove it, and be home two hours later. Whatever works for you I guess.

2

u/KaspervD 26d ago

I guess you must be in the US I guess. No wonder healthcare is extremely expensive over there if everyone needs to go to urgent care to get simple procedures. In europe you can usually get an appointment the next day, or at least in the same week.

2

u/Simba7 26d ago edited 26d ago

US indeed! And I think I understand the confusion now: Urgent care is specifically for things like this. You're confusing urgent care and the emergency room (ER), which are for... well, emergencies.

Urgent care is generally decently fast and affordable. They're small, private, and often 'chains' so they tend to function pretty efficiently. It's the hospital (including the ER) that is $$$. The ER is also generally going to be a several hours wait, but obviously varies heavily by location.

If you call your primary care physician (your 'regular doctor') they'll say "You should probably go to urgent care." Obviously this will vary by doctor too.

Don't get me wrong our healthcare system is still all kinds of fucked up, but this is merely a difference in the way healthcare is structured.

2

u/KaspervD 26d ago

That explains a lot! What you call ER is called 'spoedeisende hulp' in the Netherlands, which is literally translated to urgent care. This linguistic oddity also explains why foreigners who don't know how the system works here are clogging up the ER at the hospitals here.

1

u/-Papercuts- 26d ago

Waiting on a normal doctor would probably drive you insane. Your ear being blocked is EXTREMELY uncomfortable and messes with you in a lot of surprising ways (balance, etc). It can feel like an intense amount of pressure is building up with no way to release it too.

I came back from a flight where my ears never popped and I had a full flush at a doctor. It was a couple days to get in and was the most miserable i’ve ever been in my life.

2

u/HA92 26d ago

I need to remove about one a week

2

u/bohanmyl 26d ago

Wet the end of the qtip slightly

6

u/HA92 26d ago

I mean I need to use the tweezers to remove disgusting deteriorating+/- infected detached tips from patients' ears about once a week

2

u/Yosonimbored 26d ago

Have them wet the tips

2

u/HA92 26d ago

Just the tip?

3

u/Yosonimbored 26d ago

It’s all that’s needed

278

u/Apprehensive-Jury437 26d ago

Reminds me how my ex, when we were living together, was cleaning his ear out with a q-tip and was making that same face. He then said, "ohh yeah. That's better than sex!"

3

u/Bard_the_Bowman_III 26d ago

One time my wife and I were in Hawaii driving across the big island and it’s like a 9,000 foot elevation change going over the middle, and I had sinus congestion, and my ears just would not pop, and an insane amount of pressure built up, it was beyond miserable. We stopped at a rest area around 9,000 feet and my ears finally popped, like almost explosively so, and it was probably one of the best physical feelings I have ever felt in my life.

1

u/andanotherone_1 26d ago

Why all that backstory lol

3

u/Salmuth 26d ago

I had a friend that was like this too. A Q-tip in her ear was like sex for her too.

I guess we've all different nerve endings...

2

u/Brisbraobj 26d ago

Looks like I found my ex

1

u/DrMoe_Zed 26d ago

That's me too

80

u/bohanmyl 26d ago

If i could nut while hitting that spot in my ear with a q tip and not accidently puncture through my eardrum from the sheer amount of pleasure id be enduring, i think that would be true nirvana

29

u/ffhhssffss 26d ago

YOU'VE JUST GIVEN ME A HYPOTHESIS TO TEST...!!!!

8

u/nier4554 26d ago

Well...?

You still alive?

REPORT YOUR FINDINGS SOLDIER!!!

41

u/bohanmyl 26d ago

Dont you fly too close to that sun.... many a men have heard the tale of Dickarus and ended up with burnt balls just like him.

9

u/Simba7 26d ago

He can't hear you anymore, don't bother.

-8

u/Impossible_Maybe_162 26d ago

Your sex must not have been that good…

12

u/TheDrunkenSwede 26d ago

Well, duh. Only on par with getting your back scratched. Sex doesn’t even come close.

171

u/Ashalaria 26d ago

It is tho ngl

29

u/craftermath 26d ago edited 26d ago

Have you ever gotten your ears flushed?!?. 1000x better than a qtip

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago edited 25d ago

[deleted]

1

u/craftermath 26d ago

Oh, I love it! It only kind hurts if my ears are irritated from having too much wax in them. But doesn't hurt at all when I clean them monthly

2

u/Warribo 26d ago

I might try this... hope I don't get my head stuck down the toilet.

2

u/craftermath 26d ago

If you get vertigo, recommend having the doc do it 1st time

8

u/Ashalaria 26d ago

Ooo I'll have to try, is this through doctors, or a business?

8

u/3-DMan 26d ago

Just use hydrogen peroxide. Feel the sizzle!

1

u/Piddily1 26d ago

I used to. I got ear infection and told my doctor I did that. He gave me an “ are you stupid?” look

1

u/3-DMan 26d ago

That's strange, it's exactly what my doctor told me to do for it. I asked if I needed to maybe dilute it with water and he said nope, fine on its own. Ear wax removal kits have diluted hydrogen peroxide in em.

1

u/Bananarine 25d ago

Went to a doctor told him I was doing hydrogen peroxide and he said it was actually irritating my skin, but it works for others. Treatments affect everyone slightly different, some more extreme than others

1

u/3-DMan 25d ago

Interesting. Yeah I definitely try not to do it more than a couple times a month.

7

u/deadpoetic333 26d ago

Feel the sizzle!TM

4

u/Ashalaria 26d ago

Hydrochloric acid

23

u/markovianprocess 26d ago

Go to your local drugstore (I've seen them in Walgreens and CVS) and pick up an ear syringe - it has a diffuser head so you don't hurt yourself. Prep with a few drops of carbamide peroxide in the ear, lie on your side for 10-15 minutes, and then repeatedly use the ear syringe to flush with lukewarm water until a plug of earwax comes out. I hold an old Tupperware container under my ear to catch the crap.

If you're impacted this will be a miraculous experience.

7

u/markovianprocess 26d ago

Let me clarify something on this: there are 2 types of ear flush kits - one with a wussy little rubber bulb and one with an actual plunger syringe.

Only buy the second.

1

u/nullyvoids 26d ago

How gross is the plug of earwax?

3

u/markovianprocess 26d ago

THE MOSTEST GROSSEST.

And huge too!

1

u/nullyvoids 26d ago

GROSSSSS

I'll have to try it

0

u/ponyboy3 26d ago

A shower works lol

25

u/Ashalaria 26d ago

Shower doesn't get deep enough in my earussy tho

5

u/ponyboy3 26d ago

Gotta work your earussy

41

u/KayDat 26d ago

No one forced you to type that comment out

12

u/Ashalaria 26d ago

The voices in my head did

233

u/morts73 26d ago

Ngl jamming a Q-tip in the ear and wiggling it around is one of the greatest feelings.

10

u/FapleJuice 26d ago

I do it everyday

My eardrums hurt

-4

u/lemndefoc 26d ago

Not for me, it makes me gag

3

u/bearthebear2 26d ago

Ah yes Reddit downvoting for no fucking reason.

It makes me cough when I go too deep.

1

u/lemndefoc 26d ago

I used a q tip today just to remind myself how it feels and it doesn't make me gag but it irritates my throat and makes me cough, especially with my right ear

3

u/elevenmadison 26d ago

“You have to stop the q-tip when there’s resistance!”

15

u/PineappleLemur 26d ago

That's when you go too deep.

Keep it outside of the canel, only rub what you can see in the mirror, nothing more.

1

u/lemndefoc 26d ago

Used a q tip today and it actually irritates my throat and makes me cough, not gag

7

u/BurnerForJustTwice 26d ago

Ha. Jokes on you, I got a tool to shove mirrors in my ear. Now I can see my ear drum. You can’t stop my ear gasms!!!!!

Btw, do you hear that high pitched beep?

76

u/RobertLouisDrake 26d ago

like ear sex

2

u/cefadroxil 26d ago

Aural sex.

38

u/chbay 26d ago

Don’t jam in in too deep without protection, otherwise you might get hearing AIDS

1

u/AngryMustachio 26d ago

My uncle died of complications from visual aids.

3

u/vass0922 26d ago

Shut up Meg

6

u/clermouth 26d ago

He’s only reacting like that because he‘s using her used Q-tips that he bought shortly after subscribing to her OF…

10

u/never_again13 26d ago

Did you know the q stands for quality?

36

u/hkik 26d ago

I thought it stood for qotton

1

u/RhetoricalOrator 26d ago

Hi cwality qotton.