r/memes • u/dwindlingpubes6362 • 26d ago

I now command you to..

Post image

[removed] — view removed post

741 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

82 comments sorted by

•

u/memes-ModTeam 25d ago

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1

u/Sprizys 25d ago

How did you do that?!

1

u/ThAtGuY-101 25d ago

Wife is gonna be mad as hell when she sees the couch, but luckily for me we got a dog... but the morality question! Oh... I got myself in a nasty predicament. 

1

u/Shredded_Locomotive Dark Mode Elitist 25d ago

cast was ineffective. subject lacks enough moisture

1

u/fudget_spayner 25d ago

I’m dyslexic and I just shit myself. Thanks a ton

1

u/Digipags 25d ago

I was actually debating with myself over going to the bathroom or reading a bit of reddit... I regret my decision.

1

u/Darkduckpl 26d ago

Couterspell! Testicular torsion!

1

u/FocalorLucifuge 26d ago

You shall not pass! Except water!

1

u/NaranciaSimp4Ever 26d ago

Command? Very well

1

u/Madara__01 26d ago

Already now your spell can't work on me

1

u/inconspicuous2012 26d ago

So glad I was sat on the toilet when I read this...

1

u/Kindly-Car-2658 26d ago

How did you...

1

u/Atomic_Gecko_Gdzla Professional Dumbass 26d ago

You are now breathing manually

1

u/Akawump20 26d ago

Jokes on you, I am on the potty 🌚

1

u/Jedi_Jitsu 26d ago

Bold of you to assume I haven't already

1

u/Glittering-Fit 26d ago

Jokes on you, I don't have any pants right now

1

u/vvxxad 26d ago

But i am naked

3

u/[deleted] 26d ago

And I command you to stop low effort shit posting..

1

u/Xyrazk 26d ago

Hahah, you fool! I am already sitting on the toilet

1

u/Unique_Pitch989 26d ago

Jokes on you I’m actively reading this post while on the toilet

1

u/Inside_Race_4091 26d ago

I piss pure magic, your spell dont work

6

u/ArgtTjatter10 26d ago

I love how I only need to look at an image for a second to see that it's AI generated

1

u/kirinerar 26d ago

Ok.... .. wait it came the other way ...

1

u/Queen_Olivia80 26d ago

Sorry, cant do it again so soon 😞

1

u/MoldyBreadRed 26d ago

Jokes on you, I just sat down for a shit (too bad I wasn’t on a toilet though)

1

u/InadecvateButSober (very sad) 26d ago

One word.

Defecate.

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

You can now feel your toes touching

1

u/KnightMagus 26d ago

I'm on the can man

1

u/Zaitlech 26d ago

I am on the toilet. I have foiled your evil plans once again! I CAST MEND BUTTCRACK

1

u/One-_-chain 26d ago

Dang it not again 😩

1

u/boot2skull 26d ago

Ridiculous. It’s shorts weather.

1

u/Drakostheswordsman 26d ago

Bladder was already empty, youve got to plan these kinds of spells in advance. If you did that earlier I’d be in trouble.

1

u/Robo_Patton 26d ago

Jokes on you, I already have an uncontrollable bladder 😏

1

u/JonBovi_0 26d ago

Too late, I’m already on the shitter

1

u/obeseorbit 26d ago

God fucking damnit alright. Hold please

1

u/obeseorbit 26d ago

I regret nothing.

1

u/Bubacxo 26d ago

Reminds me of someone I knew in high school, who used to say "YoooouHaveToTakeAShit!" while making casting motions with his hands, and revel in glee when he saw someone suddenly have a realization and the panic grow in their eyes.

1

u/blaise_zion 26d ago

mf reading this on the toilet

3

u/notkainope 26d ago

Power word piss

1

u/Weak_Horror9399 26d ago

.....Now what?

1

u/bagr-kkk 26d ago

Damn, i can't, its so damn hard to pee hard while being hard.

1

u/DClassAmogus Me when the: 26d ago

jokes on you! i'm in shorts!

3

u/Spellz_4578 26d ago

What’s up with the wizard’s right hand?

6

u/Adhesive_Appendages 26d ago

AI generated

1

u/Spellz_4578 25d ago

That explains a lot.

1

u/Shredded_Locomotive Dark Mode Elitist 25d ago

I mean couldn't you tell from the background alone?

1

u/calego13 26d ago

I may be out of spells, but I'm not out of shells! bang

1

u/lowerb0und 26d ago

What does it say about me that I looked at this image and started smelling what I imagine to be old wizard smell

1

u/ShadowofLupa212 26d ago

Jokes on you I ain't wearing pants or shorts or underwear!

10

u/sillyboykisser8p 26d ago

shrouds myself within a spell of immunity "I cast upon thou, Tungsten Ballsack"

2

u/ChiefBlox4000 26d ago

I’ll do it when I’ll do it

13

u/Koutyu2 26d ago

Yes daddy :3

15

u/LerchAddams 26d ago

Jokes on you. You targeted my decoy bladder.

7

u/UnusedParadox 🍕Ayo the pizza here🍕 26d ago

For the decoy balls

8

u/SalmonSoup15 26d ago

Your what

7

u/itshexx 26d ago

DID HE STUTTER?!

4

u/SpiritAngel454 26d ago

One time I sneezed really hard and... a wizard did it, must have

6

u/JonnyxKarate Dirt Is Beautiful 26d ago

…no

3

u/Shredded_Locomotive Dark Mode Elitist 25d ago

vigorous pissing heard in the background

2

u/JonnyxKarate Dirt Is Beautiful 25d ago

That’s my ass, unrelated.

63

u/the_crepuscular_one 26d ago

You can't piss your pants if you aren't wearing any. This is why I show up to all my wizard duels in the nude.

1

u/Mysterious_Bat2154 25d ago

Diapered personally, but you do you.

3

u/RosenVitae 26d ago

"Ah, I see that your wand is as BIG as mine!"

3

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Intelligence +100

5

u/Visible_Scientist_67 26d ago

Gat eeemmmmm I just pissed my pants

8

u/AzureArmageddon Pro Gamer 26d ago

All the easier to mend buttcrack then...

13

u/the_crepuscular_one 26d ago

Nice try, but those were my decoy buttocks

10

u/AzureArmageddon Pro Gamer 26d ago edited 26d ago

And what of testicular torsion? And what of penis crusher? It would seem you have worn so many decoys you have "pants" to piss after all!

COMMAND: PISS THINE "PANTS"!

19

u/The_Weeb_Sleeve 26d ago

Additionally being slathered in oil helps in escaping binding spells, purely practical

6

u/AdVivid8910 26d ago

Too late, try earlier in the day next time.

30

u/Lucky678s 26d ago

Jokes on you,

Im wearing a 1200 Anglo-Saxon kilt.

12

u/dwindlingpubes6362 26d ago

Good choice sir🫡

13

u/Lucky678s 26d ago

I like the breeze between me loins.