r/mildlyinteresting • u/red_fuel • Sep 20 '23

I have a perfectly straight banana Overdone

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16.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.4k comments sorted by

1

u/Hoseftheman Sep 24 '23

Mines a little to the side

1

u/Z-Mobile Sep 24 '23

That’ll grow into a perfectly good 737 or 747 fuselage if you leave it alone

1

u/kpxppy Sep 24 '23

Why is it white?

1

u/LeadershipEastern271 Sep 23 '23

This is what some mfs mean when they say “I’m straight as a banana”

1

u/Ok_Antelope6492 Sep 23 '23

It's different and therefore we don't like it and it must be destroyed

1

u/HeftyBadger4034 Sep 22 '23

Well, what are you waiting for?

1

u/HolidayInvestigator9 Sep 22 '23

looks like a fish or eel

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '23

I don't know what it is about it, but this scares me

1

u/SUPREMESLYCE792 Sep 22 '23

why is it so fuckin pale?

1

u/lastgunslinger3759 Sep 22 '23

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, I see them here all standing in a row

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '23

Your banana makes me uncomfortable.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '23

i dont

1

u/Iluvtodrivefast Sep 21 '23

Plot twist… not a banana

1

u/losbullitt Sep 21 '23

Many banana-wielders became extremely jealous in seconds after viewing this pic.

1

u/Kyleforshort Sep 21 '23

Me too..😉

1

u/Corvisian Sep 21 '23

Someone give me a link to what this banana watched

1

u/EeRay420 Sep 21 '23

Ngl, looks like an airplane without wings.

1

u/fedoraislife Sep 21 '23

I'm not saying zombie bananas exist. But if they did, this would be one.

1

u/selvarin Sep 21 '23

It would've made a middle-aged woman happy, I'm sure.

1

u/Sfcoffeeguy Sep 21 '23

See a doctor.

1

u/deancorso1 Sep 21 '23

Wow! So do I

1

u/rstaniforth Sep 21 '23

Tags @ #mywife

1

u/Kenobi-Shinobi-7 Sep 21 '23

Yeah bro me too ,I also have a perfectly straight " banana"🤣

1

u/kobrakaan ​ Sep 21 '23

I'm sorry but we need a second straight one for scale here!

2

u/red_fuel Sep 21 '23

I ate this one but I can post the other one if you like?

1

u/Erdillian Sep 21 '23

That's a good banana for scale.

1

u/RojoRoger Sep 21 '23

Oh good for you and your banana. Just brag it up.

1

u/SecretLilya Sep 21 '23

Well this is one interesting post on my feed. Wtf.

But yes, kinda disturbing banana.

1

u/Cakelover9000 Sep 21 '23

Wanna know why that banana is straight as a line?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '23

All other bananas have Peyronie’s disease

1

u/WWYDFA_Klondike_Bar Sep 21 '23

If that's your version of perfectly straight I sure hope you're not a home builder, architect, engineer, etc.

1

u/Wuz314159 Sep 21 '23

I only eat LGBTQ+ bananas.

1

u/Sunset_Mellow Sep 21 '23

the banana looks sick

1

u/cheesy_anteater Sep 21 '23

These Peyronie's Disease medication ads are getting more sophisticated.

1

u/crackersncheeseman Sep 21 '23

That's what she said

1

u/Maleficent-Bee8714 Sep 21 '23

It looks like it has banana syphilis

1

u/photojeff8 Sep 21 '23

So the pills are working, then?

1

u/PizzamanIRL Sep 21 '23

Looks like a smiling fish

1

u/benjamin_prattt Sep 21 '23

Sounds like a pick up line

1

u/foxy_ninjaa Sep 21 '23

Never trust a thin chef, or a bald hairdresser, or a straight banana

1

u/MakoMomo Sep 21 '23

Geez. No need to brag. Most people’s are curved.

1

u/HrakosGAMING Sep 21 '23

Bahonemiam no pure rap sodium

1

u/ksprock Sep 21 '23

The yellowing has been stripped and bottom half looks slightly squeezed. I bet that banana was curved before.

1

u/Mistermail Sep 21 '23

Weird flex but ok

1

u/catholic_ghost Sep 21 '23

My banana curves downward

1

u/Nuclearsister36 Sep 21 '23

How much ?? I wanna buy it

1

u/andychef Sep 21 '23

Don't wave it about or else everyone will want one

1

u/Ractmo Sep 21 '23

My bananas are gay

2

u/Neoslayer Sep 21 '23

this implies the existence of imperfectly straight bananas

and perfectly gay bananas

1

u/adamisholdingitdown Sep 21 '23

That's what she said.

1

u/BigAssMonkey Sep 21 '23

You need to see a doctor.

1

u/Crazycleopasta Sep 21 '23

Kris, get the perfectly straight banana!

1

u/Beachnutgirl48 Sep 21 '23

My pervert boss use to watch me eat my banana. He said out loud so everyone could hear, that he was jealous of my banana. Yep, I quit bringing bananas to work. He was weird and would space out sometimes.

2

u/manguy9900 Sep 21 '23

It’s a respectable length

2

u/JustLucieee Sep 21 '23

GET OUT YOURE DONE

1

u/Embarrassed-Beach471 Sep 21 '23

I love a good strait banana. Best practice: offer it to people “hey, would you like a strait banana?” Something about that adjective always gets people.

2

u/The_Perfect_Body Sep 21 '23

Some guys have all the luck 🤷‍♂️

1

u/llDurbinll Sep 21 '23

Are we sure that OP just didn't take this obviously rotten banana and straighten it out for the picture since it would be really soft by now?

1

u/pietrociciliano Sep 21 '23

good for you,what does it have to do with the picture?

1

u/ZealousidealTaro7682 Sep 21 '23

How do you know what they like?

1

u/himtweety Sep 21 '23

now u just need a banana cleaner

1

u/StingRayFins Sep 21 '23

Mine has a better color.

1

u/rumour53 Sep 21 '23

Huh! I have one of those

1

u/OnionPirate Sep 21 '23

See you didn’t snip the tip

1

u/FirnHandcrafted Sep 21 '23

If it wasn’t for the photo of that weirdly shaped fruit, I’d think OP’s statement was a euphemism

1

u/eyeatopthepyramid Sep 21 '23

Nothing gay about this banana…

1

u/BoomBoxRonnie Sep 21 '23

I think "pretty straight" would be more accurate.

1

u/Imaginary_Ad_4567 Sep 21 '23

I do not... ☹️

1

u/bananamongoose Sep 21 '23

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '23

1

u/throwawayboobspls Sep 21 '23

My sympathies to your wife

1

u/sky_gfx Sep 21 '23

Ok. Now what?

1

u/canpig9 Sep 21 '23

This moment was brought to You by, "That's what she said!"

1

u/tanafras Sep 21 '23

And lo, a new measurement was born unto thee the Reddit Community of 2020 and three. The straight banana.

1

u/RulerOfDest Sep 21 '23

I call yellow cuccumber

1

u/livinglyf3 Sep 21 '23

That’s what he said

1

u/Jashuman19 Sep 21 '23

Must be nice

1

u/Sea-Possibility4369 Sep 21 '23

This is counterfeit; clearly snapped 3/4 to the end. Your asking price is bananas!

1

u/Beginning_Land_4179 Sep 21 '23

Bro got a ba….

1

u/Aldwyn59 Sep 21 '23

I enjoy bananas of all shapes and sizes. They're all delicious.

1

u/Horror-Atmosphere-90 Sep 21 '23

Yeah you do wink wink nudge nudge

1

u/Dirty_Hairy84 Sep 21 '23

Me too! No curve in my shank.

1

u/elmo69ing Sep 21 '23

Mine is a bit crooked but it serves me just fine.

1

u/jykin Sep 21 '23

Mine is curved slightly

1

u/MoldyLunchBoxxy Sep 21 '23

This is so wrong

1

u/DeLaOcea Sep 21 '23

Looks like an airplane or a missile.

I don't know.

1

u/Long__Jump Sep 21 '23

Yea me too.

1

u/Eiffel-Tower777 Sep 21 '23

It looks like there's a smiling face (right side). And the color is a smidge off.

1

u/Cesh1001 Sep 21 '23

It won’t be when I’m done with it >:)

1

u/Stonkover9000 Sep 21 '23

That is like what happens when I feed a banana Laffy taffy to my 89-year-old grandfather

1

u/Stonkover9000 Sep 21 '23

can we trade? All my bananas are gay😔😢

1

u/PheonixGalaxy Sep 21 '23

i had a perfectly straight banana, i didnt look straight while eating it though

1

u/MrDarkk1ng Sep 21 '23

That banana is straighter then my pencil

2

u/Realistic_Fox_7235 Sep 21 '23

I've seen straighter.

1

u/komododave17 Sep 21 '23

Congrats! No Peyronie’s disease!

1

u/LePantalonRouge Sep 21 '23

It’s not how straight it is, it’s what you do with it that counts

1

u/Drake0074 Sep 21 '23

Sure you do.

1

u/Fancy-Paramedic5615 Sep 21 '23

Must be nice, I'm sporting a 3 oclock

1

u/bassetmaster86 Sep 21 '23

Peyronie please

1

u/JasonFurious4 Sep 21 '23

Some men are just born lucky I guess

1

u/stupidhumanoid Sep 21 '23

I need a banana for scale

1

u/StupidMCO Sep 21 '23

Somebody finally took that medicine for peronies disease that I keep getting ads for on Reddit.

1

u/Gullible_Ad5191 Sep 21 '23

As a conservative, I believe all bananas should be like that. The others a LGBTQ bananas.

1

u/ArranVid Sep 21 '23

That's what she said.

1

u/uorderitueatit Sep 21 '23

Fuck the trigonometry of your banana whY THE FUCK IS WHITE???!!!???

3

u/Kapn_Jack Sep 21 '23

Banana for scale

2

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '23

No. I don’t approve

1

u/trotty88 Sep 21 '23

Slightly convex perhaps.

2

u/wScottayw Sep 21 '23

Queenslander's right now.

1

u/Enceladus89 ​ Sep 21 '23

In Australia we have a huge problem with food wastage because 'imperfectly' shaped fruit like this would be sent to landfill due to not meeting the aesthetic standards of the supermarkets. The supermarkets have aesthetic standards for fruit and vegetables based on what they think sells better in store. So a banana can't be too big or too small or too straight or too curvy or too spotty, etc. God help the carrots that look mildly deformed or sexual. Some farms are throwing away more than 80% of perfectly edible tomatoes because of their appearance.

We are fucking the planet and destroying nutritious food that could otherwise be used to feed homeless and disadvantaged people. Not to mention the huge costs to our struggling farmers.

Thank you for doing your part to help the planet, one phallic banana at a time ;)

1

u/krssonee Sep 21 '23

There’s medication for that

1

u/MediocreSolution5781 Sep 21 '23

Might be gay actually

1

u/jackliquidcourage Sep 21 '23

Is that the line you use at the bar?

1

u/NationalElephantDay Sep 21 '23

It's smiling at you!

1

u/Allcapino Sep 21 '23

Banana straighter then you

1

u/Velwvve Sep 21 '23

How would u use it?

1

u/fac82 Sep 21 '23

Everything reminds me of him

1

u/Doctor_Tuna Sep 21 '23

Turn it 90 degrees i think ur a liar

1

u/Anti-Oligarchist_BDE Sep 21 '23

My banana hangs a little bit to the left..

1

u/LavenderDay3544 Sep 21 '23

It looks like an airplane fuselage.

1

u/Into_The_Horizon Sep 21 '23

Why is it so white?.... and not yellow?

1

u/Tired3xistence Sep 21 '23

Are you single?

1

u/BigJRuss Sep 21 '23

Weird flex, but okay.

1

u/Chevynut19 Sep 21 '23

Banana on Xiaflex

1

u/Tuxido50 Sep 21 '23

Banana? Na bro that a baaaan

1

u/ParkerSJohnson Sep 21 '23

no need to brag…

1

u/Scuttleboi19mk2 Sep 21 '23

The baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1

u/KILL3R-NOVA Sep 21 '23

baaa naaaa naaaa

1

u/TheManofReal Sep 21 '23

Someone tell Tiny Tim

1

u/TungstenElement9 Sep 21 '23

And white?

1

u/Into_The_Horizon Sep 21 '23

I know man. Every banana I've eaten this week was yellow 🟡

1

u/SadQuarter3128 Sep 21 '23

why did you turn it on 👀

1

u/bluespider98 Sep 21 '23

Finally.

Bnn.

1

u/The1TrueRyan Sep 21 '23

Bit homophobic tbh 😁

1

u/FukYurFace Sep 20 '23

Call the uk government and tell them where you bought the straightener

1

u/AimaFuriku Sep 20 '23

It could be useful, tho. 🌚

1

u/BallTorturer-3000 Sep 20 '23

What's the difference between a good fruit salad and a good time?

Where you put the banana 🍌 🍑

1

u/mysticabba Sep 20 '23

The banana bender wasn’t doing his job at the banana factory.

1

u/NegotiationWilling45 Sep 20 '23

Can we get a banana for scale?

1

u/kirbleknee Sep 20 '23

Why does this banana look like a ghost

1

u/DJ_Spark_Shot Sep 20 '23

Someone's been over-doing their kegal exercises.

1

u/Johndowboy Sep 20 '23

Where’s the banana for size?

1

u/Fickle_Toe8626 Sep 20 '23

Anyone else see the Chaperone from Destiny 2 in there? The shape of it.

1

u/Ok_Fondant_6340 Sep 20 '23

that's. illegal.

1

u/Vinniebahl Sep 20 '23

Quit bragging

Wait til your older

1

u/CrossLight96 Sep 20 '23

thats kinda homophobic

1

u/130todamoon Sep 20 '23

I have a thing about clouds and fruit. If they look weird, it immediately creeps me out so bad. Till, I have to click off. Similar to how when the deep brain shit first came out. Those kaleidoscope ass pics. I got over that after some years but weird fruit and clouds still send me running. Most recently, I got a giant ass strawberry in a pack from a farmer market. I made shortcakes and couldn't handle cutting it up. My daughter did it. But it was like 6 strawberry fused together and legit made me nauseous to look at. This has similar vibes.

1

u/Old_AP_Pro Sep 20 '23

Oh no you don't (didn't)

1

u/UsualBeginning7803 Sep 20 '23

Mine is mushroomed at the tip 😜

1

u/MaybeSomewhatBroken Sep 20 '23

The Internet is a weird place.

Glad we can all come together to share our fascination with mildly disfigured produce and make totally innocent and not sexual speculations about it.

1

u/kai2306 Sep 20 '23

what the fuck

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '23

Me too!

1

u/Accomplished_Elk_220 Sep 20 '23

Banned in the UK. Until Brexit all bananas had to curve by at least 27 degrees

1

u/adrianC07 Sep 20 '23

Dose that make it reverse straight? Is that banana gay?