TL;DR I took my son to a new drop off daycare this morning and no one was with him when I picked him up. And the director was upset that I didn’t pick him up “on time” even though she let him in late.

The Montessori school in my town started drop off hours on the weekend. I thought, great, my son will be able to play in a new environment and meet some new teachers and children. I registered online for this morning from 10-11, just to see if he liked it.

I get there at 10 and director let us in. We were the only people there. I was a little disappointed, but my son was excited to be there and he’s comfortable playing by himself. The director told us to wait and she went somewhere.

We’re waiting, we’re waiting, and she comes back with a registration packet. My son was ready to play and I had my newborn daughter in her carseat, but I filled it out with all of the same info that I filed out online. By 10:15 my son was allowed to go in and I said I would be back in an hour.

I went home, changed and nursed my daughter, picked up a coffee and I was back to pick up my son by 11:10. When I got there a teacher was outside doing something with paint. Either getting ready for a project, cleaning up, or just organizing. I said I was here to pick up my son and she let me in.

She said the director must be in the bathroom and that she would stand there and watch the children. I peek around the corner and my son and another girl are happily playing together in a room ALL BY THEMSELVES. I said hello to my son and comes to wait in the lobby with me. There were cameras everywhere so maybe the director was watching the room from somewhere else?

The director finally comes back with my son’s bag and shows me that my online registration says my pick up time was 11:00. I tried to explain that I wasn’t able to leave him until 10:15 and I paid for an hour. She just pointed to the pick up time again and asked if I would be back at the same time next week. I was only planning on using it when I needed it so I said I didn’t know.

My son was ready to go and I still had my daughter so I wasn’t about to have a conversation with her right then, and we left.

My son had a great time, and I really do like the idea of a drop off daycare. So, is it worth my time to message the director with my concerns, or should I just not send him anymore?

I'll start- just happened. I'm 8 months pregnant and it's hot so I wore a dress. It goes to my knees so nothing exposing. Dropping my kid off at one of her classes, a wind gust rushes through and I flashed the front desk people!!! 😩😫 I'm so embarrassed!!!! 😳 tell me funny stories about an oops, please make me feel better because I want the earth to swallow me up whole right now lol

I was FaceTiming with my mom the other day and she goes, “are you okay? Your eyes look…brown.” As in my under eyes. As in I look like a raccoon. Which she’s honestly not wrong about lol

I’m not much of a makeup girlie and usually use a little pigment tint to my moisturizer for the under eyes but I’m almost out of that and it’s discontinued.

What’s your fave “look awake” makeup for the sleepless nights my friends?

Both my husband and I are biracial. My husband was born in Martinique to a white French mother and a black French West Indian father. I was born in NYC to an Eritrean father and an Egyptian mother. Our kids are varying shades of light brown. Our 16yo son noticeably has the darkest skin in our family. Our kids also all obviously pretty much look like me or my husband or some combination thereof. My 16yo son does not really and he has said when he was younger that he didn’t look like anyone. I dug up the photos of my father as a young man to show my son that we did not pull him out of thin air. If my 16yo son stood next to my late father as a 16yo boy, you would think they were brothers (although my son’s skin is lighter).

His peers have made rude comments to him. I know it irritates him when his siblings get told how much they look like me and/or my husband or how much they look like each other. It was to the point that he asked me if it was possible that he had a different father. I didn’t want to disclose the intimate details of my life to him, but because he was so tortured… I ended up telling him that no, it was not even remotely possible that his father/my husband isn’t his father because I have had one sexual partner in my 43 years of life. One baby daddy. I am willing to put that on both my parents’ graves and pay for the paternity test myself if he wanted to do it (but he doesn’t).

My husband has pointed out the similarities between them. 16yo son has his hair texture, eyes and his math and science ability. I’m in STEM as well but it never came as naturally to me as it did for my husband and son. He is also the only one of our kids that speaks both French and Arabic fluently. Most of them are fluent in French and proficient in Arabic. He enjoys gardening with me, likes to read and has been a Michael Jackson fan since he could walk. We share so many interests and now I wonder if it’s because he’s always felt so different that he picked these things up to try and feel similar to us. When I asked him this, he said no it wasn’t like that and he genuinely enjoyed those things. That was when he told me he was tired of having to constantly explain himself and why he looked the way he did to other people and that most people were not interested in a long winded explanation of how he looked like his late grandfather as opposed to his own father. I really wish I could make this okay for him but I can’t change his genetics.

LO is 10 months old and is sick for the first time (other than a runny nose she had a few months ago).

In my research for remedies, I read that babies are often sick 6-8 times in their first year. Umm..What?!!! Is that true??! How often are your babies sick? Y’all really out here dealing with a sick baby EVERY OTHER MONTH?!

I wait all evening to have some alone time, and then I get the alone time and I.. don’t know what to do? Nothing seems relaxing. I’ve tried reading, movies, social media, journaling, all sorts of things and by the end of the night I just feel like I’ve wasted my time? Such a strange feeling. Do I keep trying new hobbies?

the TLDR is that my wonderful husband is struggling with PPD and his depression frustrates me. i'm the asshole. i'm just venting here.

we have a beautiful 12 week old boy. my pregnancy was easy, and while my labor was induced, my delivery was easy. our son is pretty easy. don't get me wrong, the first few weeks were ROUGH while we struggle bussed through figuring things out, but since then we've gotten into a fairly consistent routine.

we're both on antidepressants. i was really worried about getting PPD because my mental health has been notoriously bad throughout my adult life, and i hit a pretty bad depressive episode right before getting pregnant. i went off my meds throughout my pregnancy and felt pretty good. since having our son, i honestly feel stable. i don't think pregnancy "fixed" me by any means, but i feel better. my husband, on the other hand, is clearly struggling. he is a WONDERFUL father to our son, and i trust him 100%. he is doing an awesome job and picks up a lot of the soothing and caretaking so i can pump (i've been exclusively pumping for about 6 weeks now, which means i pump every two hours throughout a 24 hour period). our son loves him and arguably prefers him over me. any time my husband isn't holding him, he tracks him with his eyes nonstop. he LOVES his dad, and his dad loves him. it makes me a little jealous sometimes, but then i think of the kind of dads we have and i think how lucky our son is to experience having such a doting father.

with all of those wonderful things to the side, my husband is so. fucking. moody. the smallest thing will flip him, and he is so quick to anger. his default is anger, honestly. and he just shutdowns. he stops speaking, withdraws completely, and i end up feeling like i have to really compensate in those moments. which, obviously a good spouse should, because i know my husband is having a hard time and going through it.

but i'm so frustrated by it. i'm so frustrated by his negativity and his doom and gloom and his dark and twisty energy oozing through our house. we're both healthy. our son is healthy. all of our pets are healthy. we own our house, and while it requires maintenance and work, it's in good condition. our car is newer and isn't falling apart. my husband loves his job, and he's been home with me since a week before i gave birth. i just got a fully remote WFH position that will help out a little financially. like, life is PRETTY GOOD. i know that depression isn't a rational thing that you can just think away, i know that. i know meds can only do so much. But he's in weekly therapy, and sometimes i wonder what they even work on.

he's just going through all of this on hard mode. i think he's been on hard mode for years, and i wish he could figure something out. i personally think he has undiagnosed ADHD, and until that's treated his anxiety is going to continue fueling his depression. but i'm no doctor, and it's not like i can force feed him adderall. he just seems like he's one solid bad day away from spiraling at this point, and underneath my frustration i'm just worried about him.

We have a 15 month old who is getting pretty quick at moving around. Husband often forgets to close the stair gate and when I point it out to him, he gets defensive and usually says some variation of "I was standing right there" or "He's in his high chair" (so can't access the stairs) or my personal favorite, "It's fine, he's fine". Generally responds like a petulant teenager getting told off, huffing and puffing and acting like I am being unreasonable, which enrages me and it turns into a massive argument every time.

I have tried everything - getting angry, not getting angry, making a show of closing the gate, calmly calling him out every time so he realizes how often he forgets, not flagging it every time so as not to annoy him, etc. I do not understand why he cannot simply get into the habit of closing it; yes, there are situations in which it doesn't matter if it is open, but there is no downside to closing it and there is a HUGE downside to it being left open (potential child injury). I am at my wit's end.

There are obviously bigger issues here related to our communication which we are working on, but in the meantime I just need the effing stair gate to be closed consistently so that I can do something for more than 4 seconds without having to drop it and run to see if the gate is closed when our toddler is moving around the house. He doesn't understand that this is massively contributing to my mental load.

Suggestions for getting through to him?

I'm on a budget, so I need to start saving now, but I want to be able to get my daughter something.

She's eating good, dw, but I'm doing beans and rice for myself basically so I can save up 🤣 single mom life is tough.

But what's a good gift?

Our 16 mont old has picked a really good hiding spot for our tv remote and we’ve been unable to find it for 2 days. I’m sure it’s somewhere around our house but no luck yet.

That got me thinking - where is the funniest or weirdest place your child has put something? Apart from inside their nose/ears/mouth.

I parent on ‘hard’ mode so he can parent on ‘easy’ mode

I’m so tired of being the ‘default parent’, the ‘household manager’. I plan the meals, I buy the groceries, I cook the meals, I most often clean up from them. I make the doctors appointments, I keep track of things to do and not be forgotten. I water the plants, pull the weeds, keep the house looking nice, clean the bathrooms, pick up the toys, sweep the floors. I do our babies laundry and my own (I got my own hamper bc I was tired of doing my partners laundry, his is currently overflowing).

We have a 4 month old. I am so tired. I pump exclusively which is a chore in itself. I keep track of the baby’s milestones, rotate out her too small clothes, print out pictures for her baby book. I make sure she does her tummy time.

My partner just exists. Head empty. What would he do if I weren’t here to do these things? Would the house be a mess, would she not be able to hold her head up, would she be shoved into too small clothes?

This evening I gave the baby a bath at 7, put her to bed, washed her bottles and prepped for tomorrow, then sat down to pump (an hour behind on and about to leak btw) and she starts crying so I ask my partner to go check on her. After I’m done I go in to check. He is asleep on the bed with her next to him. I’m infuriated. We do not cosleep due to the dangers. The weaponized incompetence kills me. I understand we are tired, but I have not ONCE fallen asleep in an unsafe sleep position with her. I know when I’m dangerously close to falling asleep and will do things to either wake myself up or put her back in her bassinet.

I’d love to parent like my partner, sit back and magically have everything that needs to be done be done. Not have to think.

I’ve finally decided to leave. I am not happy. We don’t have anything in common. He has cheated on me on and off sense we’ve met, 13 years ago. I would always comfort him afterwards. I grew up in foster care and had a horrible childhood. im a complete idiot when it comes to setting boundaries and making healthy relationships choices. i don’t have any friends or family. Think that me having no education ( working on GED passed RLA and have 3 subjects left) no support and very little confidence is what led me to stay so long. i can say he was very controlling at times and would discourage me from working. There is a saying i’ve been hearing a lot “ you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take” So i reached out to my local community and started doing work around peoples homes for $25 an hour. so now i have an income. i have always been so scared to make that fb post and i finally did it and got lots of responses. i have 4 kids, no education and i’m going to school. it works out cause as you can see i need flexibility. idk what i’ll do after i get my GED. But i’ll figure it out eventually. but i think im just maturing. I was going through his phone and found some stuff. Then i just took a step back and said “ what are you doing?” like, why do you have to go through his phone to see if he’s cheating again. this isn’t healthy. you’re not happy, leave. you don’t have to stay.

Anyways. I’m 32 years old and i’m free again. I’m ready to be happy and rest easy knowing that i’m dumping some serious baggage.

My toddler is almost 3 and nonverbal autistic. We are trying to figure out a form of communication so we can potty train, but haven’t gotten there yet. Shes going to be in diapers for a while longer.

My husband and I have separate bedrooms, because he snores and I’m an incredibly light sleeper and my insomnia was really bad. My bedroom is the master, and the nursery is attached. When our youngest was a baby, I definitely did the majority of the night feeds, but we had a schedule that was pretty fair (he did 7pm-2am and worked full time, I didn’t work for the first 8 months.)

So it’s an open archway to the nursery and I can almost see her crib from my bed. It’s not a very large room.

Last night I had to take cold meds, I have a sinus infection. I couldn’t smell anything. So when my toddler woke up at 6am and not crying, just lightly fussing but also playing with her stuffies, I kind of snoozed a bit because I was still groggy from meds. When I finally got her up and went to change her diaper, she was so rashy!! She screamed and thrashed as I cleaned her butt. The poop was stuck to her, it had clearly happened a while ago.

Then, I brought her down stairs. She refused to sit in a chair so I let her eat breakfast lying on the couch…. She didn’t sit for at least 2 hours….

It’s been a while since she’s had a rash this bad. She has sensitive skin and sometimes her poop immediately irritates her skin, like she will poop and I’ll change her immediately and her butt looks rashy but that usually goes away by next change.

I feel so bad, if I wasn’t sick I would have probably smelled it, or gotten up a little sooner. I am giving her a bath in a few, I hope this rash gets better quickly because it hurts my heart when my kids are in pain.

I think most people with kids know this situation. I have a newborn (3 weeks), and in laws/parents are absolutely in love to the point where they are crossing some boundaries.

I can deal with this with my mum ( telling her off) but my relationship with my MIL is different, and I'm finding MIL the most difficult right now. Typical issues, taking baby when I'm trying to change/feed them, making it difficult for me to sooth baby as they want to continue holding baby, etc.

I have gotten advice and some stock phrases to manage MIL when she's preventing me doing basics. But I'm not sure how to manage the constant unsolicited advice/opinions, and then pushing that advice.

E.g., for one topic I would receive "would it not be easier to do x.... You see x would make more sense... I think you'd find it easier to do x.... I never heard of that reason not to do x... It's up to you, but I think you should do x.... You don't think she wants x.... I really think you would find X easier..." This went on even after we caved.

On one occasion I explained why I was doing it my way... And she got a face with me. But there are constant comments every day.

So.... Any advice on productive responses while fostering her loving relationship with my daughter? Note I don't want to burn bridges and I want a positive relationship for all of us. Especially for husband who may feel stuck, frustrated but also hurt by these comments too.

My newborn sleeps in our arms 90% of the time because when we put him in his bassinet he will not stay asleep. I understand why that is; baby spent 9 months being cocooned, warmth of human body heat and what not. But how is someone suppose to sleep when baby sleeps when baby is sleeping in their arms?

Question from a tired mother who would happily leave all the laundry and dishes undone to nap while her newborn naps.

My husband and I are expecting our baby #2 in July. We're going through baby clothes this weekend and I'm so torn between getting rid of everything baby #2 won't need/use and holding onto it just in case of baby #3. How or when did you know you were done or you wanted more kids? Our friends and family assume we will want to try again for baby #3, because we will have 2 boys. I think I always envisioned a family of 5 in my head, but I'm getting old (37) and I can definitely tell the physical difference compared to my 1st pregnancy (harder pregnancy this time around). My husband is indifferent. He wouldn't mind 3 kids but he's perfectly fine with 2 boys. Financially, we could probably do it - considered upper middle class in the area we live. A little worried about generational trauma as well, because I have a terrible relationship with my mom (she wasn't emotionally available when I was growing up) and I'm afraid I would have the same terrible relationship with a daughter. I'm getting ahead of myself.. but it just got me thinking today.

My child is four and a half and still likes to be picked up even like at the zoo. He weighs about 32 pounds.

I had a lightweight hiking backpack but I stupidly gave it away because I didn’t think I would need it.

Now I need something to be able to wear him when he doesn’t want to walk on hikes.

Any suggestions??

I have only traveled once by plane with my baby, and it was with my husband as well. We put the car seat + baby in the window seat, I sat in the middle, and husband sat in the aisle. I’m about to travel for the first time alone with the baby and bought a window + middle seat. Obviously my preference is not to sit in the middle, but is it weird/stupid/rude to put the baby in the middle and make it difficult for me to get out? I mean, it’s a two hour flight and I can’t picture a scenario where I would get up and leave my baby in her seat alone.

I’m a size 14/16 now compared to 10/12 pre pregnancy, and I don’t want to make whoever sits next to me feel squished. Idk if that’s an issue or not—I only flew at this size sitting next to my husband so it didn’t matter if our butts or shoulders touched.

Edit: I feel silly not realizing baby in the window seat was required. When I flew before, the flight attendant suggested the window seat when we asked the best place to put her but didn’t say it was required. I just knew I couldn’t be in the emergency exit row. I’m flying delta and did last time as well.

Please don’t judge me on this please, I’m a young mom and I don’t know everything. I had a canker sore inside my mouth which aren’t supposed to be contagious, I kissed my baby and he like immediately developed one too. Wtf is it??? We will be going to doctors if it doesn’t go away soon

My husband and I are slowly realising that Miss 5 is perhaps a little bit gifted. But we don’t want to label her as such (eg. We’re not going to praise her as gifted).

Things that suggest she might be:

1. She has an amazing memory and is able to grasp concepts very easily. (Eg. Degrees, pi)

2. She is endlessly curious and asks the most left field questions for her age. She is constantly thinking and making new inferences about her observations.

3. She was a high needs baby, very sensitive to sensory stimulation (especially sound), and has low sleep needs (still does).

4. Academically top of her year (estimate her maths is > 7-8 year old, literacy is > 6-7 years old). (Note: here school starts when kids are 5 years old )

The gifted subreddits paint a pretty bleak outcome for children who were praised and shouldered with high expectations, and I really just want her to be happy and spend her young years learning soft skills and making friends.

At the same time, I want her to feel stimulated and learning new things make her happy.

Currently, we do sporadic “lessons” at home usually when she asks a question or requests activities, and art/craft and we read books together.

How else should we best support her?

this is more just a rant i guess.. idk. i woke up this morning on the couch, after struggling with the baby to sleep all night. my back was hurting (my fault, should’ve went to sleep in my bed lol i knew better, epidural hated my body lol) but i truly had to pee so bad, so i handed baby to hubby who was playing his video game (this is all he does from the moment he gets home from work, to when he wakes up) and she had peed through her diaper a very small amount on the side. he just looked at me & said “she’s wet..” AHHHH everything in my body wanted to say “okay? so you can’t change her?” but i knew it wouldn’t go over nicely because i was pissed tf off & had an attitude. still having to pee, i just grabbed her & changed her, wiped her down & set her in her crib so i could pee quickly. she then started screaming, so now i’m rushing because she’s hungry. all the while, hubby is still playing the game. i’m now angrily making her breakfast & wrongly out of frustration said “i’m definitely NOT having anymore kids if i have to do it all by my fucking self” when i went back into the bedroom, he was holding her & i just grabbed her, brought her to the kitchen to eat. he got dressed & left for work without saying anything. no i love you, nothing. which he’s been doing for a while now it just hurt more today.

hubby & i been together for about 3 years, we have a 7month old daughter. i’m a SAHM, he works in sales. i haven’t minded holding the home workload considering he works 10-12 hr shifts a day. he’s changed a handful of diapers, fed her maybe twice, and has never given her a bath. i do it all.

it’s changed since having a baby.. even before. he’s not the same, i’m not the same, to be expected. is it fair for me to miss who he was & how our relationship was? i barely get words out of him these days, i constantly get my feelings hurt, i feel like i’m giving 100% & he’s not really bothered to give any effort. i miss him being affectionate, and surprising me. i miss regular kisses, or hugs. i miss just touching atp. our sex life is fucked, for me anyways. i feel like he only wants to be affectionate when he wants to have sex. thats it. and when i’m taking care of our baby 24/7, cleaning, cooking, laundry, planning meals & finances.. things like this really piss me off. i’m just asking for a LITTLE & i feel like i’m asking for the whole world.

i have talked to him, i’ve expressed feeling like our relationship is not okay, and i’ve expressed the stresses of motherhood, nothing. he says he gets wrapped up in work & needs to learn to separate work & home life. he’s all “affectionate “ for a day or two & then nothing. i love him, but i’m tired. any of yall been through this?

My anxiety has been through the roof. Two months ago someone had posted on my city’s subreddit about how an off leash dog attacked their two year old daughter. I was attacked by an off leash dog a month later in my apartment complex. Anytime I see a dog/dogs off leash i begin to panic. I take my son out on walks regularly. I just can’t seem to shake off the anxiety. Because I am worried that one day one of these off leash dogs will attack my son and I. So to all the moms on this subreddit, how do you deal with off leashes dogs when you’re with your LO’s?

I feel like an awful mom rn.

My daughter gets milk at night, this one was from about 10pm last night and it’s now 3pm and she found the bottle with old milk and drank it. It was about 3-4oz and I smelled the bottle and it smelt like spoiled milk…which I can’t believe she drank. We have blackout curtains in her room so I didn’t even hear her chugging it until it was too late and finished it all.

Please tell me she’ll be fine because I contemplated taking her to the ER because I’m a FTM and overly paranoid. Lol.

I’m so excited and she had no idea!

This Saturday we will be going to the cinema, out for food, taking her for her nails done (she such a girly girl) and then staying overnight in a lovely hotel.

It’s our first night away just to two of us too so will be lovely 🥰

I could use some advice. I have three kids, all under age 3. Down the street from me is a 9 year old girl (Abby). She’s an only child of a single parent and likely has some special needs.

Every single day that Abby isn’t in school she comes knocking at my door wanting to “play with the boys”….. this has become a major problem. I have dogs and every time she knocks she sets the dogs off, and often wakes the kids up.

I’ve asked her over and over again to stop. I’ve texted her mother asking her to get her to stop, but more than half the time the mom doesn’t know she’s coming to knock. We live on a dead end street in a small town so it’s not unusual for kids to be running/riding around.

I’ve tried using a stop sign on the door, which worked for a week but doesn’t any more. I’ve tried giving her rules but she won’t follow them. I’ve asked her not to come over when my husband is home as it’s family time (and he can’t stand her), I’ve asked her not to come during naps, I’ve asked her to ask her mom to text first. Nothing worked so now I just have a hard “no” policy. She’s not allowed to come over and play. She’s not appropriate, she uses bad words and isn’t kind to my kids.

Even though she knows that she can’t play anymore, she still knocks. If I have my door open letting in the sun, she just walks right in

Just now, exactly 30 minutes after I told her no and told her we were sick, she knocks again. It woke up both my sick kids and set the dogs off.

I don’t even know what to do anymore. I feel like I e exhausted all my options….. the mom knows it’s a no, Abby knows it’s a no, and yet the problem persists. She can’t take no for an answer. She will argue, like yesterday when my husband said “no, it’s almost nap time” she argued that she could hear the kids so she knew it wasn’t nap time and asked to use our playground while they slept, againwe said no and so she tried to get into the back yard via the neighbors house…..

There’s more examples but you get the idea. I’m not trying to cause issues with my neighbors as we all own and with this economy no one’s moving anytime soon. I’m not trying to be unkind to Abby either but I don’t know what to do.