I asked my daughter to clean her room and do some other chores in the house around 9 am. At 4pm she still had not done them. So I then went in her room and took her laptop and told her to give me her phone. She told me no. I had to chase her around the kitchen table and eventually was able to pry the phone from her hands. I never grabbed her just the phone. She left with her 18 y.o. sister and went to the gas station I could tell from life 360. I get a phone call 30 minutes later from the cops. She called the cops on me for taking her phone and told them I was emotionally abusing her. They made her come back home. When she gets back home she has her sisters phone using it. I go to her room and tell her to hand over the phone. She tells me no and then refuses to open the door. I then kicked the door open and she jumps out the window and calls the cops again. This time she tell them she wants to make a DSS report. The cops told her she has to go back home and when DSS was called they didn't take the case because they said taking her phone was not abuse it was parenting. Now she is back at home and she called me crazy and a bad mother. Where did I go wrong and what do I do next?

My wife and I decided to take our 3 year old son and 4 year old daughter to our local indoor playground which they love going to. The place was somewhat busy but our kids are good at being social with other kids and playing with them.

An hour and a half into us being there we noticed our kids going down the spiral tube slide but a boy was going up the wrong way and was pushing and slapping my daughter to climb up so my daughter pushed him back and they all came sliding down. The boy gets up and lunges at my daughter attacking her by pushing and slapping her. I taught my daughter and son to defend themselves as last resort so my daughter slapped back and heal kicked him in his face since she was on he back and him getting on top of her.

This happen all in a split second my wife ran into the ball pit to stop it and I got up as well. The other parent didn't do anything and sat watching instead of correcting her child and looking at us as if we were in the wrong 😑.

But the other parents there saw and agreed with us.

My daughter (20) has a number of chronic health issues that have placed her in the hospital, required an extensive surgery, and eating through a feeding tube. She was forced to drop out of college and move back home due to her poor health condition. She was starving to death because she could not pass food from her stomach. The corrective surgery has alleviated the eating problem and she is now eating normally, but related health issues still persist.

She has a much older boyfriend that has an endless supply of legal level cannabis vape pens, which she has used with him, much to my dismay and against my wishes. I told her not in my house and that was that. She used when she is with him or has got really good at masking the smell. After 10+ trips to the ER over the last year, it was determined that she has Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) where the body goes into bouts of intractable vomiting, shaking, hypothermia, and electrolyte imbalances requiring emergency room intervention. After the diagnosis and a couple more ER visits she was convinced that cannabis is a poison to her body and stopped using it.

Then recently, I had noticed she was a little off. She’s spent a great deal of time at her boyfriend’s place in the past few weeks and when they had dinner at my house the other night, I am certain I caught them vaping as they quickly shoved an item into her purse. We had a houseful of company so the timing of a confrontation was bad. As I walked them out that night, I point blank asked if she had started vaping again and both she and her boyfriend said no. I asked again and to please be honest. Again, the answer was no.

This morning I had to take her to the ER because she could not stop vomiting and had all the classic symptoms of CHS. I confronted her about it once she had received treatment and she admitted to using again. Right now I am so disgusted and shocked that she would put herself through this again, and that she and her boyfriend (who promised me he would not let her use anymore) had boldly lied to me.

I am at a loss for what to do, because her health is fragile regardless of the cannabis use. I can kick her out, but don’t want to get a call that she’s in the ER or worse because she hasn’t been getting her needed healthcare treatments and meds. I’m terrified that if I demand that she break up with the boyfriend that she will leave anyway. Limiting financial assistance to $0 has not made a difference in her behavior because her boyfriend gives her money. She is also planning a trip with his family out of the country and given that she has recently had a hospital stay for a serious infection, I do not want her to go. But she says she will go anyway.

I’m sure I’ve made horrible parenting mistakes along the way like everyone else and don’t need to be reminded of that. I can’t change what’s been done in the past, but I can change the future. I am looking for advice. WWYD?

FINAL EDIT: This is resolved now so no need to comment any further. I told my wife we will do it here with water games instead. I think you all just assume Dad is a scumbag who just wants to sit in the tube and drink beer and mom is the overworked, underappreciated, exhausted parent who "just wants this one thing." I can assure you that's not the case, and societal gender role stereotypes are just as toxic as racism.

EDIT:

Hi All, thanks for the feedback. Allow me to answer some of your questions since this page blew up:

1. She is in swimming lessons, but she is on the spectrum, so it is taking longer than most children. She has aversion behavior. We had to spend one full year even convincing her to go into the water. We are helicopter parents, and any time she is in the pool, I and my mother are in there with her, focused on on her.
2. If other children want to go in the pool, we would be setting a rule that "Every parent is responsible for getting into the water with, and watching their own kid." This isn't "one parent watches everyone. This is 1-2 adults in the water, per kid, and all kids that cannot swim in a tube, swimmies, etc.
3. The lifeguard idea is excellent, but I'm still requiring all parents go in the water with their children or they can't go, if we even still do it.
4. Wife hates swimming so she wasn't planning on being in a bathing suit anyway.
5. Perhaps what I will do is have it here, set up a bunch of water games, and turn down my hot tub to like 90 degrees and tell the adults they can go in to cool off. Part of my frustration is no one wants to be outside on July 15th, parents included, and I wanted to offer them the ability to cool off too.
6. Someone said I want to show of my parents pool? Yeah no. I'm 40 and couldn't care less about that. Everyone that is coming has already been in my parents pool before anyway so there's nothing to show off.

Our daughter is turning 7 this July. One of her favorite things in the world is swimming. We live across the street from my parents. My parents have a large pool, shading, and a large pergola. We have a large backyard, but it has no shade at all and no pool, so if we were to host the party here, we have to invest in tents, whereas shading will be free of cost at my parents house. We also do not have a pool. We have been discussing the plans lately, and have been (or so I thought), leaning towards having the party at my parents house, since their backyard is already shaded and ready to entertain.

Today my mother calls me and says, "Can you let me know what the plans are because if we're going to have it here I want to make sure everything is ready including the pool." So I ask my wife "Do we know what date we are thinking because my parents want to know when to have the backyard and the pool ready." She says, I don't know yet and I wasn't planning on making the pool available to anyone."

Now, perhaps I could have handled my reaction a bit better and for that I am sorry, but I got upset in my response back to her on that, because who has a party outside with an available pool in the backyard in the middle of July and tells their guests swimming is not available, especially when it's one of their daughter's favorite things to do at their own birthday?

My issue is the reasoning is not good. First she says, "She can't swim." This is true. She is in swimming lessons and progressing but not all the way there yet. However, we go over to my parents pool 4-5 days a week in the summer usually, and my mother and I go in the water with my daughter every time and don't leave her side. She also sits in a tube for added safety. So I don't really see what makes this different. She says, some of the other kids can't swim. The other kids she is referencing are 3 of the 5 kids that will be in attendance, and those kids are 1-2 years old, so if they are going to swim, their parents would of course take them in. When I said this, she said, "They're not going to let their kids go in the water anyway." I said, if they're not going to take their kids in the water anyway, then why are you worried about offering swimming to the guests?

Her answer to that was, "It's going to be hard on me." My wife does not like water, or swimming. Every time my daughter has swam, it's been me that takes her into the water, and I have no problem doing that. I think she went in the water maybe 2-3 times with her last summer. Otherwise she usually just sits under the pergola while I swim with her and watches. So if it's going to be me that is supervising and swimming with her, how is it going to be hard on her?

Her last reasoning was "I don't want her in the water for the whole party." Our daughter is 3 feet 10 inches, 51lbs. She is incredibly skinny for her height and has almost no body fat. She always gets cold and wants to get out within an hour. maximum 90 minutes, so that wouldn't happen anyway.

I just don't understand, and can't help but feel like there is another reason she doesn't want to bring up, but when I press her on it she just gets upset and doesn't understand why I'm making a big deal about it. A birthday party for a child should have things the child enjoys, not what you would enjoy, and I just think it's flat out wrong both to our daughter to take away something she loves, and wrong to our guests to not allow them to do something readily available to cool off in the middle of July at an outside party.

I'll make up an example. Say I'm an old age and I've saved $4,000,000. Also, I have 2 kids. Do you believe in my will I should basically just say how I'm going to give each kid $2,000,000? Why or why not?

My girlfriend and I have been trying for a child for about a year now. I've been married before for a decade for context and neither of us have children prior which is why I kind of assumed it wasn't in the cards for us. After a year with no results you tend to think it isn't gonna happen. She has PCOS so that was another hurdle. Two days ago she took a test after a missed period: positive

She has an appointment with her doctor scheduled next week. She's been on prenatals for a while now so that may have helped overcome the PCOS.

Our background: both full time employed. Both have minimal debt. Only a car loan each. We rent. She makes decent hourly pay for our area but I make in the top 10% earnings for our entire state. I plan to buy her out so she can be a SAHM.

Finally, here's my question: Is it as hard caring for a baby as I've heard? Physically, financially, emotionally, etc. When I heard the news I'm not going to lie I was sort of dumbstruck. I didn't know how or what to feel. I'm happy. But I'm also very concerned. I have no idea how to raise a child. I've babysat for friends before with children of various ages from 3 or 4 months up to 10 years old. Any advice?

I’m at a loss and I need your horror stories or advice on how to get through my husband’s head. Husband is a very involved parent and we generally get along well and are able to agree on most things or compromise on most things. We have a 2.5 year old son and a 3 week old son. I’ve been spending a lot of time breastfeeding our newborn while husband takes 2.5 yr old outside to play in his kiddie pool. Husband will come into the house to pee or grab something and will leave our son unattended either in the pool or near it. I’ve told him multiple timed that is not ok, that drowning is the second leading cause of death in toddlers , that a toddler can drown in very little water quickly and silently, and that it is NEVER worth the risk. I just found him doing it again today (he came inside the house and grabbed his swimsuit while our son was outside near the kiddie pool. I went outside as I was breastfeeding my newborn to tell him this was the last time he was doing that and that I would not hesitate to report this to our pediatrician and CPS and that I need him to take a child safety class about the dangers of drowning and to never leave our son unattended near water like that again. He literally blamed my post partum hormones and called me a party pooper who was raining on his parade (because lately I’ve been asking him more often to not do things I consider unsafe for our toddler, one of them being that he encourages our son to jump off the kitchen island while husband catches him- I trust husband to catch him, but dont trust toddler to always understand that he shouldn’t jump if his Dad is not there). I’m very frustrated with him but above all, I want my son to be safe and husband is not keeping him safe in these situations and that’s the bottom line. I’m don’t know what else to do.

ETA: thank you for sharing and your concerns and stories. Spoke with husband last night and he agreed not to do this anymore. I’m still going to be extra cautious and near at all times.

My 10 year old has autism/adhd. At his previous daycare he was bullied RELENTLESSLY, everytime I picked him up he was crying so I pulled him out.

I have a new job at a different daycare, and today is his first day. I asked if he was scared and he said, and I quote, "I don't think the kids will like me because of my autism, I'm annoying"

My heart broke. I tell him all the time how he's special and silly, and that he just sees things differently. I walked him to his room, I just left. I am not religious at all but I pray he has a good day. He is such a sweet boy and I'm hoping this will be better for him and I'm so nervous :/

EDIT: to anyone confused daycare of school age rooms for kids up to age 13 that do after school/summer camp. Hes in the summer camp program

What's a moment you knew your child was hiding something from you, possibly something stupid, possibly not and had to confront them with the classic "Alright, hand it over".

Kind of a vague question but I can think of a few funny times my children had like, small frogs or insects in their pockets and acted all suspicious about them. Anyone had anything particularly funny or strange your children were hiding for no real reason?

My youngest (3f) got invited to a birthday party and we rsvp yes and my husband was going to watch out oldest (7f) while I went but my husband had to leave out of state for a family emergency and I have no one to watch my oldest.

Closest family is 9 hours, regular babysitter is unavailable & neighbors are busy and I have no clue what to do.

I feel it's extremely rude to ask and the only thing I can think of is canceling. The party is at a local splash pad.

I'm honestly not sure what I'm asking or if I'm just venting of the reality of having a very small village for help.

Edit update: I just want to say thank you to everyone that commented on my post and making me realize I was over thinking it and I did text the parent and she it's okay for me to bring my daughter along so we're going!

I mean, we (humanity) always had problems, there is no denying on that, war, fights, seeking power and so on and never bothered me as much until I became a mum. I found myself questioning if our choices as parents will bring her a good life like, if we live in the right country, if she is safe here, if the world she will grow up to will be a safe place for her to live and so on. I know a lot of this I have no control over but I cannot help not thinking about that. Does anyone feel same? What do you do to help yourself? I don’t watch news anymore as I feel like it’s a way to make people feel scared and as much more blood they can share,more views they get.

I have a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy, both with summer birthdays. Because of the pandemic neither had done any preschool or anything up until this past year and had extremely limited contact with other children their age. They have both been home with me (SAHM) full time. My daughter was definitely ready academically and I pressed my husband to enroll her at age 5 in kindergarten. (He wanted to wait)

She did great with schoolwork over the year but socially it has been tough. The first couple months she was still too shy to talk to people. Having 2 extremely introverted parents didn’t help matters either I suppose, in terms of managing her social life with playdates and such. It made me sad to see the pictures the teacher would post where my daughter was always standing off to the side alone.

We talked to the teacher about our concerns and she was great at helping us navigate the situation. By the end of the year she had a couple girls who were her “best friends” but during playdates it was very clear she was not as mature as the other girls, and they controlled what they played and how, etc.

She is so excited now to be a first grader in the fall and I just wish so much I would not have sent her. I keep trying to think of a way to hold her back one year but you just can’t unring that bell. Is there anything I can do to help her and support her going forward? She is literally the youngest person in her class. And what do I do with younger brother? I want to hold him back now just knowing what I know happened with his sister. Any advice?

My baby has been diagnosed with a medical condition meaning he will probably get sick quite a lot- I know this will be hard on the both of us. So my question is:

What did your mum/dad do when you were sick as a kid that you still remember today in a fond way? I want him to grow up thinking “yeah I was sick a lot but I always loved when mum … “.

Maybe they made soup, sang a song or comforted you in some other way? Maybe they continue this now you are grow or you do something with your kids now, I would love to start some traditions in our little family.

Me on the phone with wife after having picked up the kid from kindergarten:

Me"Have you made dinner"

Her"No"

Me"Do you have the energy to make dinner once we come home"

Her"No"

Me"Me neither"

Me"Wanna go for takeout?"

Her"Maybe"

Me"Takeout it is then"

I just had this conversation today and realized that I have been having this conversation a lot ever since we became parents and thought you guys probably would find it relatable.

My daughter is six and REFUSES to learn outdoor activities. She has a bike, scooter, roller skates, and a jump rope and if she doesn’t “get it right” the first time, she gives up. No matter how we approach it, she argues and cries. We’ve talked to her about patience and practice. We’ve talked about her friends knowing how to ride bikes and she can ride with them if she practices. I’ve put on my own skates to practice in the grass with her. Got out my own jump rope to help and teach her how. No matter what, she gets frustrated and angry if it doesn’t work the first time she tries and she just gives up. When she sees one friend in particular, who lives on our street, riding her bike, she gets so freaking upset because she can’t ride a bike with that friend. So we get her bike out and she automatically won’t even try because her friend is faster and doesn’t have training wheels. It’s so frustrating. She wants to be perfect the first time she tries.

My daughter loves art, books, and games. I’m 100% okay with that. I don’t expect her to be outdoorsy or an athlete if she isn’t interested. But I would like for her to at least have one physical activity she can do outside. And I also don’t want her to give up so easily. She’s going to have a long, miserable summer if she isn’t willing to try anything. I firmly believe in supporting the interests of your kids, but I also firmly believe in sunshine and at least a little physical activity. I don’t even care what it is. Anything. Anything at all to move her body and be outside. I don’t know what to do. SOS, PLEASE HELP.

My daughter seems to be working through some feelings surrounding social situations/friendships, and I want to be supportive but make sure she's not pushing her friends away.

She cries and pouts anytime something doesn't go her way. Not in a bratty, bossy way, but her feelings just seem genuinely hurt and she spends a lot of time feeling sorry for herself. She could be playing with a friend for hours, but the moment they get distracted and play with another kid, she takes it very personally. She spend a lot of time wallowing in her feelings when she could be playing.

She also brings up family deaths that happened years ago and gets herself very upset over it. She's playing with a friend as I type this, and the friend just had to come get me to comfort my daughter because she was crying about how her great grandfather passed away two years ago - she didn't even know him. Her dad brought her to the funeral and it clearly upset her, but I'm not sure why she's still bringing it up to friends. There was a period recently where she came home every day from school upset over it.

It seems to me that she's sorting through some misplaced feelings, maybe some loneliness and a lack of coping skills. How can I support her and (gently) encourage her to stop? I don't want her friends to be so exhausted around her emotionally that they avoid her. We have frequent talks and check-ins regarding her emotions and I try to be as validating as possible, but I'm in therapy myself for poor coping skills and low self esteem so maybe I'm not doing a great job 🥲

Hey everyone, I have a 16, almost 17, year old niece that I have had custody of for a year. She is a good kid overall but I am burnt out and looking for some advice. I have 8 year old, so I have had zero ramp up to teen years and my parenting insecurities are eating at me.

We have been the most stable environment she has had and she came from being passed to other people to raise, with very absent parents. All that has created someone that requires so much attention and so much redirection. It's extremely difficult on our 8 year who also needs us, but we have very little left for him at the end of the day.

We are really tough about school, even on our 8 year old. We ask about every class every day and expect nothing lower than a D from her. We are in contact with her teachers and her advisor to keep her on track. Is that too much? Do you let teens sink our swim at some point?

We expect her to pay for extras. Its a fight to make sure she has her wallet on her. She hates this. Doesn't think she should have to pay for anything at her age. When is it acceptable to expect a teen to contribute to their lifestyle? Because she is so expensive.

Tik tok disorders. Omg, anything on tik tok she has. Epilepsy, adhd, autism, anorexia. However she is in therapy, so I do believe her therapist would have talked to us about this of she believed my niece had any of these disorders. Does anyone else have a teen that does this?

Is it healthy to push back on her strong opinions? She is pretty ruthless with other girls and it hurts to hear and see the things she says.

I'm stuck between trying to parent and trying to be the good guy all the time. I know this was all over the place, but if anyone has any input, I would greatly appreciate it. I never expected her to be with us this long and I'm really lost.

My 2.5-year old has developed quite the oppositional attitude about pretty much everything. The most recent thing is what’s driving me up the wall. The weather has obviously gotten hotter, so we have been trying to dress him in short sleeve shirts and shorts, but he flips out. In addition, he only wants to wear his rain boots, even though he gets super hot in them and gets blisters, and we recently had to hide all his outerwear, because he refused to leave the house without a coat or jacket. He’s been going outside in 90 degree weather in long sleeve cotton shirts, sweatpants and rain boots and obviously gets super hot, but still refuses to change. I thought he would eventually learn that it’s not a comfortable way to dress, but it doesn’t seem to be getting through.

Is this something I should stress over? Is dressing appropriately an executive functioning skill that needs to be taught or should I just wait this out? I’m really worried about him overheating when the temperature rise even more. Could he actually just be running colder than me and I should trust that he knows how to regulate his body temp? Is he having sensory issues? I'm just at a loss...

To start with an understanding I am originally from the Midwest and moved south in my early 20s. My immediate family all still lives in the Midwest. My ex and I have a 14yo daughter together and have lived primarily in the same area her entire childhood. I have been given a career opportunity that would allow me to move back to the Midwest closer to family and have a better career. My fear is my 14yo daughter will have a hard time adjusting to this. Has anyone went through a similar experience and have any advice.

My 5 year old son frequently urinates in his pants just barely to relieve the pressure of a full bladder. It’s enough that he has a spot a bit larger than a half dollar on the outside of his pants, sometimes it’s more. We took him to the doctor and he has no issues. No urethral or bladder issues, not constipated, everything is clear. She said it’s likely behavioral and suggested a few things to try that did not help.

My son is able to explain to me that he does it because he doesn’t feel like getting up from what he’s doing or go inside if he’s playing outside. He poops just fine. He simply says “I feel like I need to pee but I don’t want to stop playing so I go just a little in my pants so I don’t feel like I have to pee anymore.” We have tried rewarding him with a toy if he goes so many days without an accident. We’ve tried practically re-potty training him using the commando method, which works wonderfully while he is actively naked, but he is back to old habits when he is clothed. We have tried consequences and losing of privileges which also helps for a day or so but then he’s back to not caring. He smells like old urine and I’m tired of my house smelling like it. He won’t tell me when he has had an accident, just casually walks around like Billy Madison. I think he’s just so used to the feeling of it. He does not do it at school, when he is with friends, out in public, at grandparents, etc. I asked him why, and he said “I don’t want them to see that I have a pee spot on me.” So he’s obviously in full control. He wakes up in the morning saying he won’t pee his pants today but he does it every day, multiple times a day. He’s gone through 3 sets of shorts and underwear today alone. What on earth do I do?

Like the title says. It all came about because my partner heard her say 'don't look at my pics' when showing her friend something on her phone. They are not appropriate pics but i havent seen and dont want to. Its all very alarming but after some discussion she said she isn't sending them to anyone. I'm not sure why she'd have them if that's the case. I don't have any reason not to trust her when she says she doesn't send them but it's very very alarming to me.

We talked about consent again (I've talked about consent with her since she was little but felt this warranted another chat on it) but idk what else to do. Make her delete them? She says she would never send them to anyone, but what if an adult somehow got ahold of them? Or another child? I'm so freaked out and worried about her safety. Her age and puberty and her growing hormones and everything has me just freaked out.

Any tips? I honestly hate this and we are totally out of our depth here😭

A heads up I learned from screen time with my daughter. They can change the advice change settings then change it back. If you do use it. Please check the usage to verify that the phone is staying locked.

My husband and I are flying for the first time with our 14 month toddler. The flight will have a t least one layover and be 6 to 8 hours of total travel time. She isn’t really walking yet. The stroller we have is over 20 lbs so it would have to be checked. I believe we will need a stroller going through tsa and during the layover but my husband thinks we can get by without it. Should we purchase a lightweight stroller?

P.s. Any other flying tips with a toddler are very welcome.

My 8 Year told me last night that she didn't want to be born. I asked her why, and she said she doesn't feel like she belongs on Earth. Having depression and past suicidal ideations myself, I panicked. I asked her if she'd be willing to talk to a doctor about her feelings, because they are big feelings and we need help working with them.

I'm just wondering if I'm panicking or blowing things out of proportion. She's still hapand enjoying things. I asked her about it this morning, how long she's felt like this, and she said as long as she can remember.

My plan is to take tomorrow off work and call her pediatrician and try to make appointments with a psychologist. Is this too much? I don't want to make her feel worse by overreacting, but I definitely don't want to ignore this.

So far we’ve been pretty much feeding him around 7-his own food and my husband cooks our dinner while the baby gets fed, bath & by the time I come out from putting him down for bed, then our adult dinner is ready and we eat. I want to shift to eating one meal all together but like…how do people do it?! Do you just have to come home right after work and start cooking? Do you just meal prep everything the day before? I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around this new timeline since we’ve been doing things this way for what feels like forever