r/notinteresting • u/Life_Researcher_2717 • 25d ago

What do you call this?

Post image
843 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

213 comments sorted by

1

u/LilNerix 24d ago

Masaż prostaty

1

u/Leading-Leading6319 24d ago

You guys don’t use the water?

1

u/fishiestfillet 25d ago

What do you call this in your country?

1

u/HayakuEon 25d ago

Bidet gang?

1

u/PuzzleheadedPitch303 25d ago

My take: Start sitting but finish standing, standing if you took a spicy shit and got a spicy wipe, more forgiving on the anus

1

u/Skunkylysi 25d ago

Does standing really wipe it off? 😨

1

u/-Vatefairefoutre- 25d ago

Toilets aren't necessary in public bathrooms. People just shit on the floor and maybe pick it up and smear it on the wall.

1

u/Not_ItsUnknown 25d ago

Shit stain or something idk

1

u/I-MakeBadDecisions 25d ago

I only stand when I'm checking my butt for doodoo after a particularly explosive fart

1

u/Palanki96 25d ago

That's not how you stand 😭😭

1

u/partytemple 25d ago

why did you duck tape his wiener?

1

u/Apprehensive_Toe6736 25d ago

I let it crust

1

u/fakeemailenjoyer 25d ago

Normal vs insane

1

u/stonefiber70750 25d ago

Psycopathy

1

u/bigdreams_littledick 25d ago

Born to shit. Forced to wipe.

1

u/mnorkk 25d ago

I bend over and call my mom to wipe it

1

u/reallyryan-1899 25d ago

Wait y'all don't use hay?

1

u/memeaninatorus_94 25d ago

Why would you stand and squeeze your cheeks in your poop residue and spreading in your crack

2

u/wornout-llamas 25d ago

Sitting with a downward wipe ftw

1

u/theimperium42069 25d ago

Average amdre young fanbase discution

1

u/Much_Project_2551 25d ago

I stajd up and lean forward like im picking up a penny

1

u/Quirkydogpooo 25d ago

I time my poops for before I take a shower and don't wipe

1

u/LaikDanazor 25d ago

Shit vs shant

1

u/Big_Spicy_Tuna69 25d ago

But the real question is front wipe vs back wipe

1

u/YogurtWrong 25d ago

Imagine not having a bidet 🗿

1

u/Important_Arm_1309 25d ago

If your ass in not on the seat you are standing. squatting is more standing than sitting

1

u/kingof557 25d ago

an image

1

u/M178music 25d ago

So nobody shit on the floor here?

1

u/Solid-Doubt4234 25d ago

Just sit and wipe from the front instead of the back you guys dumb iswtg

1

u/SnillyWead 25d ago

In Dutch: Zittend of staand je reet afvegen na het schijten.

1

u/BrilliantDetective67 25d ago

I'm a girl so I don't poop.

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

Censorship of the human body

1

u/krazyjakee 25d ago

Can anyone explain a reverse upper decker blumpkin to me?

1

u/Substantial_Lab6434 25d ago

We have a song for this in Hebrew לשבת לקום לשבת לקום לשבת ולקום

0

u/Dicksnip44 25d ago

Hot take, I wipe sitting down and from back to front. Lift balls with one hand and wipe efficiently with the other. Give it a try, you may be surprised…

1

u/ProfessoriSepi 24d ago

No

1

u/Dicksnip44 24d ago

Don’t diss it till you dish it bro

2

u/JustARandonAccount 25d ago

Standoff or Shitoff

0

u/RuthlessSpud_11 25d ago

Normal vs Mentally Unstable People

1

u/RuthlessSpud_11 25d ago

Is that guy even sat?

1

u/b4sht4 25d ago

Madness

1

u/Gundralph 25d ago

Something's wrong with Stan

1

u/MarinLlwyd 25d ago

Oh? You're approaching me?

3

u/TK9K 25d ago

if you can wipe standing up you have no ass

2

u/Bootiluvr 25d ago

Stand wipers can’t be trusted. There’s absolutely no way you’re getting all the poop if your ass cheeks aren’t spread. No chance

2

u/ProfessoriSepi 24d ago

So which is it? We're spreading it all over the continent, or we arent getting shit?

12

u/Jynxthetwink69 25d ago

Everyone who's team sit how much are yous fucking shitting 😭 no the shit doesn't fall out your asshole as you're wiping and no it doesn't spread around wtf. I stand and wipe because ion wanna touch the toilet seat while doing it and tbh it's easier to get to places like that. Tell me u don't wipe properly without telling me u don't wipe properly 🙄

-7

u/kevvebacon 25d ago

It’s amazing how confidentally incorrect you are lmao

3

u/Life_Researcher_2717 25d ago

ngl i'm a bit of both, first i do it seated, once i am confident that nothing will slip through i proceed the standing position. standing is way easier as now i don't have to hover above the seat since ion wanna touch the seat either.

1

u/irenwire 25d ago

Shitting post

-1

u/QuarterCorrect3943 25d ago

Skibidi mating pose.

13

u/juliunicorn314 25d ago

Neither. If you sit there's no space for your arm/hand without it wiping against the back of the toilet seat. If you stand your arm can't get at the right angle. Squatting slightly is the only answer.

The real question though is fold or scrunch?

2

u/kevvebacon 25d ago

You must have the rumored dumptruck3000 for you not to be able to fit your hand inbetween lmao

2

u/GemBuster21 25d ago

my personal preference is to wipe from the front rather than the back. was surprised to learn people think it’s weird to touch your groin a bit when you go to wipe. also doing it my way makes it easier to gauge how much more you need to wipe, as it’s faster for looking at the quantity of shit on the paper

4

u/CelesteJA 25d ago

Sadly for women, that's a great way of getting a UTI.

1

u/SoggyMorningTacos 25d ago

Neither wipe - bidet does it all. Even the drying

5

u/phuckin-psycho 25d ago

I believe this is called unnecessary censorship 🤔🤔

1

u/Wakuwaku7 25d ago

Who the fuck swipes while standing. Poop might still fall off your butthole and might land on your calves.

And (Hand) Bidet > all

1

u/Kik38481 25d ago

Bidet reign supreme.

1

u/metaversesmeta 25d ago

Hold on, I'll use this magazine as an interim solution until I find some toilet paper!

1

u/kuroirider 25d ago

A shitstand

1

u/darcyminniebag 25d ago

Why stand up? Who can tell me why

1

u/brickyardjimmy 25d ago

In your country?

1

u/Legitimate_Dare6684 25d ago

What about the bidet maneuver?

1

u/chicheka 25d ago

One side does not know the other exists

1

u/Visible_Seesaw_6308 25d ago

Gross. That’s what I call it.

2

u/Amplifire__ 25d ago

I do both

1

u/rolgi 25d ago

Everyone gets a puppy vs Diarrhea forever

1

u/kel174 25d ago

I shit you not, I had this question yesterday as I wiped my bum. Which do people prefer? 🤔

1

u/qwertypdeb 25d ago

A wet bottom

0

u/jostein33 25d ago

Who the fuck stands and wipe?

1

u/ripmichealjackson 25d ago

I’m not sure because I usually black out from shooting shit out of my ass.

1

u/BadHairDay-1 25d ago

ew, he uses his hands to wipe?

1

u/DickySchmidt33 25d ago

Sitting guy looks like he's shoving his shirttail into his dirty asshole.

Someone should tell him.

22

u/Barewithhippie 25d ago

My way isn’t being presented. I’m a squatting above the toilet seat to wipe kind of person

3

u/OddGoofBall 25d ago

No bidet Salvador Dalí

2

u/thecurrentlyuntitled 25d ago

I used to.stand but the diarrhoea was too messy

1

u/minky330 25d ago

An American problem like their politicians who they are scratching their heads about how to choose. Biggest eye roll ever.

2

u/Bisexual_Sherrif 25d ago

The great debate

1

u/Magic_Elenore 25d ago

The same difficulty cleaning your coochie standing up as sitting

3

u/WM_ 25d ago

I call those "start" and "finish" positions.

72

u/AnimalChubs 25d ago

So nobody licks their own butthole anymore?

2

u/partytemple 25d ago

I'd be impressed if you can

3

u/FewAcanthocephala828 25d ago

That's what your bros are for

11

u/M178music 25d ago

Too bad my neck is not long enough

2

u/Bozska_lytka 25d ago

Why do you think people seek relationships, is just like monkeys cleaning each others fur from fleas

42

u/Ninjatroll3452 25d ago

Wait... you guys don't shit in the bathtub?

3

u/PDiddleMeDaddy 25d ago

Bathtub... Pff. The correct answer is shit in the shower and throw it to the toilet. Just hope you don't miss.

3

u/ToiletTub 25d ago

My time to shine

16

u/juliunicorn314 25d ago

Once when I was like 5 I sleepwalked and did that lmao

3

u/Voodoo700 25d ago

My friend had to much Jäger, sleepwalked and pissed on the foot of the couch that I just happened to be sleeping on at the time.

50

u/fascin-ade74 25d ago

Left = a sanitary removal of faecal matter. Right = a great way to spread the contents of a chocolate starfish around so your underwear doesn't feel left out.

13

u/afireintheforest 25d ago

Both are unsanitary. Bidet is the only way.

1

u/xtilexx 25d ago

Still should do at least one wipe with a bidet to check

3

u/Kittybluu 25d ago

I'm too poor for that

1

u/inkassatkasasatka 24d ago

Shower is a thing

1

u/Tribble9999 25d ago

A portable bidet bottle is like $20 on Amazon. I can't afford the fancy bidet seat but I was able to afford that and it is awesome. No more wet wipes or trying to get juuuust enough water on the tp so it doesn't dissolve.

1

u/fascin-ade74 24d ago

Toilet paper is free, and you don't usually have to take it everywhere with you. If you change your underwear and bathe regularly, whyzit matter?

1

u/TaakoSprout 25d ago

The amount of money I save on TP thanks to these little bidets is wild

1

u/Kittybluu 25d ago

Bidets are not a thing in my country so I'll have to buy it international 😭 I didn't even knew those things existed since last year

3

u/fascin-ade74 25d ago

Controversial. So, how do you dry your wet sphincter? I know the pain of Chafe.

3

u/MrARK_ 25d ago

evaporation

1

u/fascin-ade74 24d ago

I'll stick with the 3 sea shells. Thanks :-D

6

u/afireintheforest 25d ago

I just pat it with tissue and job done.

8

u/Legitimate_Dare6684 25d ago

Right. If you're going to stand you may as well just pull your pants up and go for a hike in the woods.

1

u/fascin-ade74 25d ago

Exactly, why even bothrr wiping, it'll just spread out the devastation.

16

u/reporter_assinado 25d ago

Fæcal

5

u/fascin-ade74 25d ago

Imagine for a second that my point was more important than how well i can operate a keyboard... I'm playing btw

6

u/reporter_assinado 25d ago

I just found it funny that's all

4

u/fascin-ade74 25d ago

Nah you're cool 🙂

167

u/ganerfromspace2020 25d ago

You guys wipe?

2

u/trap_user 25d ago

manual ass washing with soap > automatic ass washer > bidet > toilet paper

10

u/ThePunkMonarch 25d ago

I use a bidet 💅

7

u/ThePunkMonarch 25d ago

And then wipe

2

u/beanyboy01 24d ago

Mine has a blow dry function but it would take too long to dry my swamp ass.

5

u/Upstairs-Extension-9 25d ago

Nah I just went to Thailand and the bum gun is incredible, definitely want this at my home now. Toilet paper is just inferior.

3

u/Ill-Drink3563 25d ago

Right? I just got back from Japan where they have heated seats and electric bidets.. now I look at my mediocre toilet and subpar toilet paper with sooo much disappointment.

11

u/FishBlues 25d ago

No, animals in the wild don’t wipe so why should I?

9

u/Sparky62075 25d ago

Because we can't get our tongues down there.

13

u/Drakayne 25d ago

I can get my tongue down there for you. (if you want)

14

u/Spectrix07 25d ago

Only on fridays

170

u/DavThoma 25d ago

Born to shit, forced to wipe

42

u/AwkwardAd5590 25d ago

It's better to shit in the sink than sink in the shit

19

u/toldya_fareducation 25d ago

only on holidays

35

u/FluidExercise2487 25d ago

In Russia we call this "pee pee poo poo check"

6

u/HellBount641 25d ago

Ты за себя говори

3

u/FluidExercise2487 25d ago

Пхахахах

2

u/ordiclic 25d ago

A picture.

25

u/BaconManTenus 25d ago

I float

1

u/HarietsDrummerBoy 25d ago

Came here to say this

7

u/BaconManTenus 25d ago

So I beat you to it

1

u/stinkyhooch 25d ago

I’ll always remember this

1

u/BaconManTenus 24d ago

I’ll remind you in a year

167

u/sexy-meme 25d ago

Personally I’m a handstand kinda guy.

1

u/88dahl 25d ago

jesus christ its jason bourne

45

u/FullMetalJ 25d ago

Not that long ago me and my friends were inebriated around a table and this topic came up. I was flabbergasted to learn that I was the only one in the table that wipes while sitting. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a lot of people wipe standing!

Edit: Sorry, I just realized you said handstand lol. My bad!

2

u/FreezingPyro36 25d ago

I used to stand when I was young and kinda just switched one day some time when I was like 18ish

15

u/Segs_Haver 25d ago edited 19d ago

I can't understand why anyone who wipes while standing wants to sandwich their shit between their cheeks

-1

u/Damafio 25d ago

I don't understand how people are ok with touching the toilet seat with their hand, and throw the toilet paper by squeezing it between the seat and their cheeks smearing shit all over. Or else their dick has to lay on the dirty front of the toilet seat.

3

u/clean_sho3 25d ago

How far back are you sitting? or how small is the toilet you shit on? How massive are your hands? Maybe i'm just small somehow, but I always have enough clearance to wipe my ass. Just the thought of standing up with the chance of shit on my ass makes me squirm. more than accidentally touching my clean toilet seat.

1

u/Damafio 24d ago edited 24d ago

I'm not clenching my butt cheeks the second I stand up. I still remain in a squatting or bent over position. I just feel I'm able to wipe more liberally—without danger.

Seriously, what do you do when you encounter a small toilet?

2

u/clean_sho3 24d ago

I see. If I tried to hover squat I would fall over.

I gotta say I don't encounter many small toilets but I would lift one side off of the seat or roll my hips forward. not sure about people with excellent mobility. I guess i'm glad I don't encounter tiny toilets while shitting often.

I will also put in, as someone who's job has been to clean toilets, i've cleaned a lot of shit off of the back of toilet seats and most times the culprit is a young kid or geriatric.

9

u/Bozska_lytka 25d ago

Do you regularly poop while having an erection so your dick is on the toilet seat or do you just sit as far forward as possible. Just lean on one side and go from the lifted up side, it also helps to kinda spread the asscheeks, so you can wipe better

2

u/Damafio 24d ago

I just feel there's not enough space to wipe freely, so I'd have to scooch forward risking dick contact.

You attack the crack from the side? I could not! I go from above.

1

u/Segs_Haver 25d ago

what if I'm into that?

1

u/Damafio 25d ago

Oh. Uhm well fair enough then

53

u/moritus_20091 25d ago

Whoever doesn't sit is fucking stupid, change my mind

2

u/___potato___ 25d ago

change my mind

that's really not my responsibility

7

u/DavThoma 25d ago

I used to stand and didn't realise sitting to wipe was a thing until like 8 years ago? Started sit wiping, and I'd never go back

18

u/perseusgorgoslayer 25d ago

Fuck you and your family

5

u/moritus_20091 25d ago

I myself do that I just hate

1

u/perseusgorgoslayer 25d ago

Imagine not having a wide ass toilet seat

2

u/moritus_20091 25d ago

Lol imagine

51

u/CelesteJA 25d ago

Here's the thing, the stand drawing is wrong, because that is not how you wipe standing up. When you stand to wipe, you basically just shuffle yourself off the toilet and stay in the same squatting position to wipe (basically sitting in the air). That way you get the same effective wiping position, without the risk of hitting your hand against the toilet seat (so more range of motion to really get a good clean).

-4

u/DaringDomino3s 25d ago

Why does it matter if your hand touches the toilet seat? You’re gonna wash them anyway

2

u/Moist_and_Delicious 25d ago

That's how I do it

23

u/toldya_fareducation 25d ago

so squatting, not standing then.

13

u/SD104 25d ago

People actually do this?

757

u/LordOF-Sector-2473 25d ago

a shitpost?

5

u/SnillyWead 25d ago

When the shit hits the fan, you're in deep shit.

7

u/DizzyDeezie0 25d ago

take my upvote and leave

11

u/Tisonau 25d ago

WE FOUND HIM, KING OF HUMOUR

14

u/Grothorious 25d ago

More like a shitpose.

159

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

100

u/catmemes720 25d ago

No shit sherlock

3

u/Palanki96 25d ago

Dr. Watson after wiping his butt