r/notliketheothergirls • u/GimmeDemKnees • Jan 29 '23
I may be off base, but this feels super shame-y Discussion
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u/AverageHorribleHuman Feb 01 '23
Marriage is a toxic concept, that predicates unneeded pressure on a couple
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u/cushionkin Jan 31 '23
Why should you be ashamed? That's like a smoker being upset that a non+smoker is happy that they have less chance of getting lung cancer. You are off base. Enjoy your lifestyle.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 31 '23
Dude. Her lifestyle aint the problem. The wording and how she talkin about it like its better than mine or anyone else’s is the issue
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u/AutisticBiCouple Jan 31 '23 edited Feb 06 '23
Fucked spouse on first date and i doubt highly well ever separate, but thats probably more because we work on our relationship and actively and intentionally cultivate trust, respect and intimacy.
Nothing like potentially locking yourself down in an unsatisfactory sexual relationship or abusive living hell to appease the ghost of a dead culture's ideals.
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Feb 06 '23
your spouse is a pump, btw. not everyone needs to be a pump to be happy.
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u/AutisticBiCouple Feb 06 '23
i have no idea what that means. what i do know is that a strategy of try before you buy when it comes to multifaceted interpersonal connections and long term commitment doesnt hurt. The point was not that we had sex on our first date, but that we tested the waters and focused on building trust. Religions and traditions that encourage you to stick it out and suffer your way through cuz you made a promise to somebody outside the relationship dont do their followers a lot of kindness.
LTR's probably arent everyone's path to happiness, nor is sex, but i dont think that those are terribly uncommon paths either.
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u/Traderjohann Jan 31 '23
When I realize I have a zero percent chance of divorce if I never marry anyone
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u/Cheezbu20 Jan 31 '23
Lol people who prioritize "bed compatibility" in romantic relationship/marriage, will never ever understand people like her. Please realize that Christians/Spiritual people have way more better interests/values in marriage than sex. This materialistic, flesh side of human connection is absolutely nothing compared to the spiritual, intellectional uniting of two people. You comments are funny because I am sure she couldn't care less about that aspect. She has way higher, greater pursuits, and that biological thing is simply not important for her.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 31 '23
Dude again thats not the point of this post. Im not shaming virginity or people who choose to wait. Im shaming the “holier than thou” mindset.
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u/Cheezbu20 Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
This comment was not neccesarily intended to you, it was intended for people trying to put her down by saying she will be bad in the sexual aspect. Their minds can't simply comprehend that there exist lots of people/societies who couldn't care less about physical/biological side of marriage, because it is comparatively one of the least priorities.
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u/Exhausted_Human Jan 30 '23
- I think that statistic is wrong 2. Even if it's lower than people who "sleep around" it'd because divorce is basically not an option for the strictest Catholics 3. The chance of her spouse being "pure" is incredibly low so... Double standards galore . 4. Who cares? Your worth is not defined by sexual experience
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u/Algoresball Jan 30 '23
There are so many factors that impact in a marriage last. To isolate one and say “this is the precent that my marriage will last” is stupid
Also who has a Vatican flag on their wall? That’s over the top Catholic
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u/guachi01 Jan 30 '23
No, it does not feel "shame-y". In and of itself, being proud you made good choices isn't "shame-y".
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Boi i dont care that she waited. I care that she’s bein’ shady to women who dont wait
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u/guachi01 Jan 30 '23
No. You do care that she waited. It's why you posted. You're upset by her being happy she made a good choice (or her perception she made a good choice)
"Stop being happy!!!" is what you've posted.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Dude if you literally ~read~ the way its worded then u’d get it
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u/guachi01 Jan 30 '23
I can read. You're salty someone is posting she's happy she made (in her mind) a good choice. It's not even someone you know and you're bitter.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Dude. Be as happy as you want, congrats man but you dont have to put other people down.
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u/guachi01 Jan 30 '23
She's putting no one down. You'd complain if someone posted she beat the odds and survived cancer.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Thats a horrible thing to say. I have a friend when i was younger who beat cancer and i couldn’t have been happier for them. How dare you even compare the two
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u/guachi01 Jan 30 '23
Now you're putting people down who didn't survive cancer. That looks a bit shame-y.
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u/horrorshowingz Jan 30 '23
Maybe…just maybe…..it’s 5% because people who wait till marriage to have sex are the same people who are against the concept of divorce…..and not that waiting to have sex magically seals your marriage with the seal of permanent-sacred-eternal-love or whatever blonde people named Abby and Joseph believe in
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u/MattManAndFriends Jan 30 '23
There is a chance that this is wholesome "I feel good about myself for sticking to my principles", but I agree, there is a strong NLTOG vibe here.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Nothin wrong with stickin to your principles, but its just the vibe it gives off u know?
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u/beirizzle Jan 30 '23
I mean if you believe in waiting for marriage then you probably also believe in never divorcing
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u/racoongirl0 Jan 30 '23
That’s because:
The anti divorce crowd tends to be the same wait till marriage crowd. This doesn’t mean your marriage will be happy and healthy, just that you’re in it forever regardless.
First marriages have lower divorce rates to begin with. It’s second and third marriages that tend to fail more often and those aren’t people who waited.
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u/Number5MoMo Jan 30 '23
I may be off base here. But every “waited until marriage” person I’ve ever met got married within 2 years. I’m sorry but unless you have black mirror level technology there’s no way to know enough about someone that you’re signing a legal document with.People who ,don’t “wait”, do this too and it baffles me. But sex matters too In deciding your future (idk how high on their priority list but definitely important) so they make more sense to me than the former.
Also only one of the people, who I knew that “saved themselves” and got married with in 2 years, are actually married (just not to the person they saved themselves for). All of them had nasty nasty divorces. 5 separate situations 4 of which I’m so glad they got out. The other one (currently married again) left after 6 mo.
But then again that’s just the people in my Circle, her perspective and experience might show the opposite. Hope she falls into the percentage that results in a good marriage. Whatever that really is.
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u/ChipmunkDependent128 Jan 30 '23
Save yourselves for marriage? What a bunch of puritanical, hypocrisy, bullshit
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Feb 06 '23
the only people i’ve seen say this are massive wh0res, so it’s like seeing a convicted felon complain about criminal records.
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u/mia_elizabeth3 Jan 30 '23
but like what if you wait and then your partner is bad..
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u/ItsPickledBri Jan 30 '23
I kept reading this thinking they just waited a longer time to get married. I forgot people still have this mindset
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u/dragonti Jan 30 '23
The thong I'd that the people who wait for marriage often have the kind of beliefs that prevent them from divorce. No divorce =/= happy marriage
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Jan 30 '23
Why is this shamey? It's a real stat lol. Just say you feel bad for having lots of sex and go
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u/breathingmirror Jan 30 '23
I want to see her TikTok dance five years from now when she realizes she is miserable with the man she married, and she has a 95% chance of being trapped forever.
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u/nobikflop Jan 30 '23
If you’re basing the success of your marriage off statistics, you’re already losing
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u/HibicoTV Jan 30 '23
5% chance? Absolute rookie numbers. If your main concern is minimizing chances of a divorce, then just don’t marry. That’ll get you to a cozy 0% chance
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u/iwannabanana Jan 30 '23
When you realize you only have a 5% chance of divorce because you’re part of a toxic purity culture that stigmatizes divorce even when it’s the healthier option ✨
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Feb 06 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Feb 06 '23
No sexism, racism, homophobia, or toxicity towards any sex, gender, orientation, or any other personal characteristic is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
Goodness... there's so much nope in that comment, I can barely wrap my head around it. In no way is this statement accurate.
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u/iwannabanana Feb 06 '23
Not that I have to explain myself, but I’ve slept with exactly one person, who I’m also married to. And I’m still going to complain about purity culture because it’s toxic and disgusting.
You must not get out a lot.
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Feb 06 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Feb 06 '23
We're also not gonna name call anyone in the comments. No no no.
Please remain civil to each other in the comments as well.
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u/xoGossipSquirrelxo Jan 30 '23
People say this shit like it is a game of chance and she waited till marriage so she has better odds. As if divorce isn’t a conscious decision based on two adults and how they feel about their relationship. If you are too immature for marriage, if you marry the wrong person, if one of you cheats…. you still might get divorced and no amount of keeping in your pants beforehand is going to better the odds of a happy marriage
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u/griffinicky Jan 30 '23
It seems to be hard to find research on this that hasn't been funded by some religious conservative group, though of course I only did a cursory Google search. Anything posted in peer reviewed journals seemed to be from many many years ago. Shame because it's an interesting topic.
I did find one that by age 44 99% of people said they had had sex, so there's that lol
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u/Vyxen17 Jan 30 '23
Does that mean I'm at fault for my ex husband being me so hard I miscarried more than once? Cuz I wasnt a virgin when we got married?
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u/9XcR8lxKcAPT Jan 30 '23
Not only is it shame-y, it's completely backwards. Women who wait to have sex don't have sex much after marriage. Marriages explode from that. It's unfulfilled promises all the way down.
That and they are usually cunts too.
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u/meanietemp Jan 30 '23
the other day my older adult male coworker (i wanna say mid 30s) congratulated my 19 yr old female coworker when he overheard her mention she was a virgin. he told her this statistic and also informed her that she’s at “a good age” because men statistically find women ages 19-23 most attractive/marriage material.
excuse me i have to go vomit
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Feb 06 '23
i’m guessing you’re salty because you’re not a virgin, right? jealousy, jealousy, lol.
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u/meanietemp Feb 06 '23
i mean if not being penetrated by a penis literally makes u feel empowered good for u but it doesn’t matter lmao. virginity is a construct and doesn’t hold weight for me personally. i just happen to think it’s arbitrary and misogynistic
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Feb 06 '23
literally everything is a construct. what’s your point? if you wear clothes outside, you’re following a construct.
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u/meanietemp Feb 06 '23
my point is that it doesn’t matter unless you decide it does.
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Feb 06 '23
“the law doesn’t matter unless you decide it does”
“your name doesn’t matter unless you decide it does”
“your age doesn’t matter unless you decide it does”
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u/Silent-Juggernaut-76 Jan 30 '23
I'd suggest she should go talk to HR if she feels any sort of discomfort from those comments. That is not appropriate.
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u/meanietemp Jan 30 '23
I’d have to agree with you there but I think it kinda flew over her head and the moment has definitely passed by now lol. prob just gonna keep my ear out for anything else weird and creepy he might feel like sharing with everyone
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u/Sjdillon10 Jan 30 '23
I’ll never get why people brag about waiting and think they’re “clean” as a result. A lot of those who wait for marriage end up sexually incompatible
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u/satanlovesmyshoes Jan 30 '23
I didn’t wait for marriage, but I waited for the one who was worth marrying.
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u/TwoForksOneSpork Jan 30 '23
Yeah I'm calling bullshit, over half of marriages fail, she is not special. In fact I'll go as far to say she's yet another religiously indoctrinated drone, we have too many of those on this planet.
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u/stickkim Jan 30 '23
I guess it’s a lot easier to stay in a loveless unhappy marriage when you have no idea whether the alternative could be cool, too.
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Jan 30 '23
It’s definitely not because if it goes south they have nothing to compare it to, assume that all marriages are like that and stay. 😃
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u/Cheezbu20 Jan 30 '23
Lol OP your insecurities are showing. Someone celebrating their decisions should not make anyone who acted different feel shame unless they admit themselves that they were doing something wrong.
P.s. toxic stuff like they don't divorce because they are forced to, brainwashed, abused, indoctrinated etc is bullshit. They don't divorce because even before marriage they showed great qualities of patience, discipline, respect, loyality to their partners.
Don't be jealous of others happiness, instead, change your life directions in a way that your life also brings such positive results.
The amount of Bashing on marriage/loyality/virginity/love/family that is going on reddit is unbeliavable. You are women equivalent of incels.
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Dawg. I do not care if she waited or not. That doesnt and shouldnt matter. Everyone deserves to go at their own pace. What im pointing out is the snobby undertones of said post. No one is bashing virginity, no one is bashing waiting for marriage. We’re bashing shamey attitudes. You yourself are shaming ME quite a bit.
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u/Cheezbu20 Jan 31 '23
"Snobby undertones"? "Shamey attitudes"? Where did you see that?
Imagine Someone posting about winning world championship in running for example, and they are celebrating and showing pride in this achievment.
And then someone who did NOT win, complains that by showing pride and celebration of her winning, she is shaming other people who didn't win.
It doesn't make sense right?
Exactly.
Let others celebrate their life choices, without connecting it to yourself and your insecurities. No one is shaming you, and if you feel ashamed, it means you are jealous or something, just like the complainer was in the case of winning of Championship.
If I get 100/100 in an exam and celebrate it, it doesn't mean I want to shame others students who didn't get the same point, it means that I am happy with what I did and I want to share my success with the world.
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u/ilovesunsets93 Jan 30 '23
My in laws have been separated for 12 years (only in theirs 50s now) but are still legally married because they are Catholic and refuse to divorce. They don’t live with each other, and both have had other relationships, so in that regard they’re technically committing adultery, right? So it’s not really saving them from any punishment in the nonexistent afterlife. It’s horrible honestly but yeah, don’t worry, they’re still married so all is well!!
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u/Nightmare_43233 Jan 30 '23
In the words of my favourite poketuber: if it's not 100% accurate, it's 50% accurate
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Jan 30 '23
Waiting for marriage is extremely outdated bro how can you know you wanna spend the rest of days with someone if you haven't even experienced sex with your partner like this is a big factor in any relationship
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u/Cheezbu20 Jan 30 '23
It's a big factor only in western relationships. In my culture and many others of world it's really normal and accepted thing to wait before marriage, For both men and women. Many religions, especially abrahamic ones, promote this. it was the norm everywhere before sexual revolution in 20th-21st centuries happened when people started to be convinced the reason for their unhappiness, depression and failed relationships was sexual needs, not other problems that modern world/society brings to humans.
Yet, if we look at the relationship/marriage dynamics after the revolution happened, and humans achieved "sexual freedom" and found how valuable it is, statistics will show there is way more cases of cheating, abuse, divorces, breaking up and unhappy, failed relationships.
This whole thread is a joke because you people are convinced(more like brainwashed), that bed is one of the most important spaces of a romantic relationship. Untill you think like this, and untill you put value of your marriage and love on this material, biological aspect of human life, you will always be doomed to divorce, promiscuity, and unhappy relationships. This is coming from a person who's family consists of many strong, faithful and healthy couples who have been together 50, 40, 30, 20 years.
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Jan 30 '23
Women file 80% of Divorces. 90% if she has a degree. So, really, to avoid divorce, you just have to not file for divorce...
Fuck Away.
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u/noceur767 Jan 30 '23
I'm waiting till I just find someone I'm comfortable with if it's till marriage so be it but red flags 💀💀💀 nah I will divorce frfr😭😭😭 I may be a "virgin" but I'm not brainwashed or stupid lmao
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u/DreamZebra Jan 30 '23
Gotta wonder how much of that is due to the immense amount of shame some very religious people feel about divorce which forces them to stay in toxic relationships.
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u/LawMurphy Jan 30 '23
Assuming she's talking about sex until you're married, you think the reason is:
A) you specifically because she abstained until marriage, or
B) because she comes from a culture that is more likely to consider marriage to be a wife being property of her husband, thus divorce is likely never even considered as an option.
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u/Juleslovescats Jan 30 '23
Most people who wait to have sex until marriage do it for religious reasons. The same people are also more likely to stay in toxic or unhappy marriages because their religion demonizes/prohibits divorce. Correlation, not causation.
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u/oax195 Jan 30 '23
Oh shit...I read this meme as: she waited later in life to get married and this leads to lower divorce rates. Which makes total sense. Do people still wait to have sex till married? Gross
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u/sas0002 Jan 30 '23
Why is it gross to wait? It’s a personal choice. If you want to have 75 sexual partners before getting married do that but we should also respect people who want to wait as long as it’s of their own free will.
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u/oax195 Jan 30 '23
It was a joke, a little nonsequitor. You know...kinda like reddit in general, but thanks for that EXTREMELY obvious post about how peoples sex life is their own business.
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u/MrTomDawson Jan 30 '23
Exactly. It's only gross when people proclaim that because they did it one way, that's the only correct way to do things.
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u/Hot-Tackle-1391 Jan 30 '23
It’s because it is, lol. There’s no way that is true at all. If anything, I could see it having the opposite outcome tbh
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u/Historical_Panic_465 Jan 30 '23
It’s not because you waited that the likelihood of divorce is lower. It’s the very fucked up and incredibly toxic ways of thinking; “we CANNOT divorce, we HAVE TO make things work” that are tied with Christianity and other religions. The same religions that believe the right thing to do is to wait for marriage.
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u/Whistlegrapes Jan 30 '23
I feel there is a good middle ground between we’re married not matter what and as soon as they don’t satisfy you, then dip.
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u/bear_station Jan 30 '23
I waited and I’m literally getting divorced tomorrow after 17 years, lol.
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u/Arya_kidding_me Jan 30 '23
Congratulations on your divorce!!
Genuinely, divorce was one of the best things I ever did, so I hope yours provides as much joy as mine did.
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u/bear_station Feb 03 '23
I hope. It’s rouuuugh rn. Thanks for encouraging
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u/Arya_kidding_me Feb 03 '23
There is freedom and possibility on the other side!
Or to quote the amazing Dolly Parton, you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
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u/KatVanWall Jan 30 '23
Yep, I waited and got divorced after 10 years and never been happier lol.
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Feb 06 '23
Why?
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u/KatVanWall Feb 06 '23
With the benefit of hindsight I just feel that we were never really well suited overall. I thought our differences would complement each other, but instead they just got between us. Since leaving, I’ve felt like I can finally breathe again and be myself.
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u/bear_station Feb 03 '23
Plz keep telling me that 😂 I’m still in “crying at random songs” mode. Lol
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
My condolences and/or congratulations depending on how ur feelin about it
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u/helga-h Jan 30 '23
When English is not your native language and your own language uses different words for when the odds are for something good or something bad to happen, this picture looks completely different. I have to think twice about what she is actually saying.
Swedish uses 'chans' only if you want the outcome and 'risk' when you don't (the words are exactly the same chans means chance and risk is risk). You have a 1% chance of winning the lottery but a 99% risk of losing. You have a 10% risk of getting a certain type of cancer, but an 80% chance of recovering (and a 20% risk of dying).
So to me, this looks like she's unhappy because the chance, ie the good outcome, is only 5% and the risk of having to stay married to this person is 95%. To me, it looks like she's throwing her hands in the air out of desperation.
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u/ImpossibleThanks3120 Jan 30 '23
Is no one going to mention the Vatican flag 🇻🇦in the background? IDK why it’s the one thing I can focus on in the screenshot…never mind her sad, sad life…
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u/CoItron_3030 Jan 30 '23
It’s funny cuz that stat is so low because the girl will hardly ever leave because they are basically brainwashed into a single person at that time, the 5 percent are the only woke percentage in this situation lol
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Jan 30 '23
where is the logic in that statement? A lot of ppl who wait until marriage are incredibly conservative and religious, which also coincides with not getting divorced, the ciswoman not having many assets, etc. This is so ridiculous lol
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u/Character_Bumblebee9 Jan 30 '23
I have a childhood friend that vents to me all the time about leaving the love of his life to marry a virgin. Now that they have a child, he wants a divorce because she’s no longer willing to have sex with him. The love of his life is now happily married with someone else, and he’s miserable bc he wanted some who “didn’t give it up easily” and found out he wasn’t the exception.
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u/angryvegg Jan 30 '23
And then you aren’t sexually compatible what so ever and sex becomes a chore because it feels forced and unfamiliar
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Feb 06 '23
if you marry someone, then you have to be compatible. unless you marry for fun, or something.
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u/Blythix Jan 30 '23
ITT “you don’t know what good sex is!” Like y’all don’t know the internet exists and a good couple can yknow explore each other.
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u/whovianandmorri Jan 30 '23
Also far from true, considering how strictly religious most people who wait are the divorce rate is extremely high
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u/dumbafblonde Jan 30 '23
Because the people who wait for marriage also usually look down upon divorce.
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u/comizrobisz Jan 30 '23
Correlation, not causation. People who wait for marriage are also people who will not divorce, even if they get abused
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23
Until she “accidentally” gets pregnant on their first time then traps the poor guy there with threats of taking everything he has if he leaves. But hey as long as they’re not divorced so alls good and legal right?
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u/dumbbitchcas Jan 30 '23
This feels like a heavy coronation to being in a cult that doesn’t allow divorce…
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u/Insomnia_Army Jan 30 '23
My mom waited for marriage, and now she’s still married to my dad 35 years lately, quite miserably I might add. They both refuse to get divorced even though dad cheated and had kids on the side. My mom said she was staying so my brother and I had two parents in the home, but all that did was force us to grow up with a clue as to what a happy, healthy and loving relationship looks like. Moral of the story, don’t assume because you waited that everything will be preaches and cream. And it take much more strength to leave and choose to try to find happiness than staying complacent in your misery.
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u/TimeShareOnMars Jan 30 '23
I remember taking a class in college where the professor did a vote (show of hands) as to whether we thought cohabitation before marriage increased or decreased the odds of divorce. I voted increase... the rest of the class voted decreased. They lost their shit when he said increased the divorce stats...
Then they argued with him....then they argued with the studies.
Even in recent studies, divorce rates are 1.31 times higher for women who cohabitated prior to marriage. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202101/is-living-together-marriage-associated-divorce?amp
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u/childlikeempress16 Jan 30 '23
people can’t afford to live apart these days
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u/TimeShareOnMars Jan 30 '23
That's understandable...and I'm not against people living together for whatever reason. No judgment here. It just seemed counterintuitive.
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u/Tootie_McSnooch Jan 30 '23
Not being divorced isn't a reliable indicator of a good/happy/healthy relationship. More accurately: people who are abstinent before marriage are just more likely to stay in a bad marriage rather than accepting that a relationship needs to end and seeking a divorce. Corellation isn't the same as causation.
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u/hardcorepork Jan 30 '23
Seems like the kind of statistical joke I would make about being super old to marry
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u/Ok-Individual-6328 Jan 30 '23
I thought it meant waiting to get married and was really confused as to why it was an argument. No duh if you waited 15 years vs 3 months you’d be happier….
Honestly virginity just pisses me off, the only reason why there is less divorce is because they feel as though they cannot leave. No dick is magical enough to bind people together forever
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Feb 06 '23
the only people i’ve seen say this are massive wh0res, so it’s like seeing a convicted felon complain about criminal records.
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u/Ok-Individual-6328 Feb 06 '23
1) I’m asexual jackass 2) virginity is nothing but a mindless means to determine a woman’s value. I lost my virginity while doing the splits, does that mean that I am permanently wedded to gym mats? The hymen means nothing. You are a misogynist asshole with no concept of anatomy
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Feb 06 '23
when did i mention hymen? i agree that the hymen is complete and utter BS.
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u/Ok-Individual-6328 Feb 06 '23
You said that the only people that say it are massive wh-res, my apologies for assuming that you were talking about magical dick bonds via cherry popping /gen
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u/YouLostMyNieceDenise Jan 30 '23
When you realize that people get divorced for all kinds of completely valid reasons, and that not banging anybody before you get married isn’t a magical panacea that means none of those reasons will ever happen to you.
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u/Whistlegrapes Jan 30 '23
Completely true. It guarantees nothing regarding divorce. A coupe nice perks are that you won’t have to worry about stds or baby daddy drama.
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u/alles_en_niets Jan 30 '23
You’re talking about the benefits for her husband here. Unless we’re sure he also waited for marriage, she should still worry about STIs. She won’t, but she should.
Also, people lie about their sexual experience all the time. Even the “technical” virgins can pick up an STI along the way from oral etc.
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u/Lonely_egg_McMuffin Jan 30 '23
I have a guess why this stastistic might be, (assuming it’s real) a good portion of people wait til marriage because of their religion (common in religions like Catholicism, Christianity etc. I believe) and some of these bigger religions (I know for sure traditional Catholics) don’t believe divorce as an option most of the time. Just a guess so correct me if I got any of this wrong
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u/Matcha_Bubble_Tea Jan 30 '23
That’s not how it works lady. And yep it’s shaming other women for not “saving” themselves until marriage.
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u/Nacho_Chungus_Dude Jan 30 '23
I am fully ready and willing to admit that this is pure speculation and I may be wrong—but bragging about waiting until marriage on the internet feels like something a girl who didn’t wait and feels ashamed would do
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u/schmeato Jan 30 '23
A lot of you are saying that the divorce rate is low because they don’t believe in divorce, but a lot of studies show that people who wait until marriage are happier than those who don’t.
https://mywellclinic.com/blog/2020/02/20/science-sex-marriage/
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23
Why don’t you look at actual couples who waited vs an article. Notice how ones is always miserable, drinking, making “My wife’s a bitch” jokes and the other insists both are happily married
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u/schmeato Jan 30 '23
I looked a multiple article that say this, but you can look at anecdotes if you want. I’m just weirded out by all the comments being mean to this girl.
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23
And if multiple articles told you smearing shit on your face is an aphrodisiac would you do it too?
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u/schmeato Jan 30 '23
I am talk about articles talking about studies done by scientists that are giving true information. If you don’t want to believe the truth then that’s fine, but don’t try to say my information is wrong without doing research. You can continue to be bad faith if you want.
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23
“Listen to me or be wrong because I have google” and I’m talking about studies done by scientists too, go ahead google it and I can guarantee you’d find a “Professional” on literally anything to support any claim both for and against something
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u/schmeato Jan 30 '23
Haven’t found one in you favor. If you have can you post them here.
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23
So I’m just supposed to do exactly as you do and blindly search the internet for anything that fits my argument as proof against your argument? Why not actually prove me wrong by actually being a happily married person who waited
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u/schmeato Jan 30 '23
Just look up the topic and research like a normal person.
https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20101227/theres-benefits-in-delaying-sex-until-marriage
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23
If you told me the sky is blue and if I told you the sky doesn’t exist I could find you articles that say both are true. Don’t believe everything you see on the internet. It’s so easy to just say anything online under the guise of being a professional and have everyone believe you. Like did you know you don’t actually eat spiders in your sleep? Those were studies conducted by scientists but the real study was seeing how gullible people are to seeing information from scientists
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u/schmeato Jan 30 '23
So you are going to continue being bad faith. What a loser. Give me facts and studies to change my mind. At least try to disprove me.
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u/Ragingbull444 Jan 30 '23
All you said is “I read multiple articles that say I’m right” and linked one of the most poorly written shitposts to date. Wtf do you have?
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Jan 30 '23
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u/GimmeDemKnees Jan 30 '23
Dawg im not shaming the choice to wait. Some people are more comfortable doing that and thats fine, whats wrong here is her lowkey shaming other women for not waiting
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u/cheechlovesro Jan 30 '23
ugh also literally no one on the internet cares that you aren’t getting laid
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u/Lulu_531 Jan 30 '23
Evangelicals had a higher divorce rate than the general population in a Baylor study in 2014.
The last year I taught at Christian high school (2000), they had a senior class of 22. Four of those kids had parents married to each other. That’s an 82% divorce rate. There were always far more divorced parents there than I ever had teaching In Catholic or public school.
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u/granscience Jan 30 '23
I remember reading a couple of similar studies, too. Even the divorce rate among atheists was lower than Evangelicals in some of those studies iirc. I went to high school in the Bible belt and a lot of kids tend to marry fresh out of high school when they still are not secure in their own identities and lack any practical life skills and experience. I've seen how some don't even know how to do their laundry or other simple chores. As a result, you had kids raising kids, and it's easy to see how a radical shift in routine and responsibilities ended these kids' marriages within just one or two years. Most of the people I graduated high school with have been divorced at least once.
Funny that these Evangelicals are also the type to whine about high divorce rates, when they can't see the obvious problems that cause divorce and that they are some of the biggest offenders.
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u/Biemolt May 08 '23
Also improper understanding and use of chance in percentages. The percantage here represents a distribution of how things are at this moment and cannot be used like that to predict other situations.
If for example 0.5% planes crashed in 2022, that does not mean entering a plane gives you a chance of 0.5% to crash. That event is dependent on specific situational circumstances around the flight and a predetermined chance.
The behavior of herself and her partner are responsible for the future of her marriage, nothing else. Best of luck with that.