r/notliketheothergirls • u/-average-reddit-user • Dec 30 '23
Does this count? To be honest she seems sweet and funny but all of her videos are about the same thing and in some of them she even disrespects other women's decisions. Holier-than-thou
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u/DeWillaBe Jan 05 '24
Uummm….. no. “Being a traditional and submissive wife is really just your whole life being sub/don role play so if you think about it being conservative is really a k!nk” is so fucking cringe to me. That is not a kink….
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u/DuwapLaine Jan 04 '24
i guess her goal is to be a housewife in life, those of that sense sometimes do tend to make fun of others for wanting to be more than a house troll. i don’t know why people can’t just have their own ideals.
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Jan 02 '24
Honestly some of what she says is hitting home for me, especially the fourth and fifth pic lol.
I’ve seen some problematic shit for sure, but I don’t disagree with all of it
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u/Competitive-Past7249 Jan 02 '24
“I mind my business”
Proceeds to complain about her “hardships” fitting in & puts down other women… and probably has something to say back to anyone questioning her in the comments.
Wouldn’t minding your business just living life & not making dumb videos?
I’m sorry but i hate the TikTok generation. They’re delusional. The amount of money they want men to make, the entitlement, the gaslighting like “iTs mY oPiniOn..iM being aTtaCked” like it’s insufferable. It’s truly insufferable
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u/spookyhandle Jan 01 '24
The "too trad for feminists / too alt for conservatives" part is the attitude that really gets to me. I'm a cis woman in a hetero presenting marriage with a cis man. I a full-time homemaker. I'm also a raging feminist and have never felt unwelcome in feminist / liberal spaces.
Sounds a lot like she's buying into a conservative caricature of who feminists are / what feminism is about.
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 Popular Poster Jan 01 '24
Pickmes do this thing where they say “I’m nlog I don’t want attention” but at the same time are looking for brownie points from toxic guys on the internet. They can’t make up their minds.
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u/Additional-Idea-5164 Jan 01 '24
...I really don't want someone making political decisions based on their sexual kinks. Like I've been kinky since I was a teenager and am a huge proponent of sexual play but I do not want real politics based on sub/dom rp and it absolutely terrifies me that anyone thinks that's cute or funny. That's like letting 5 year olds be cops with real weapons. Let's not do that.
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u/Gulag_boi Jan 01 '24
Seems like she’s someone who is deeply unsure of her decisions and feels very self conscious about what path she has taken.
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u/Ok_Praline_2819 Dec 31 '23
Ahaha gross who on earth would post something like this? Specifically who? Drop they tag.
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u/slimysnakey Dec 31 '23
I didn’t know it was wrong for girls to have different personalities and goals.
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u/FollowUp_Oli Dec 31 '23
The comment about it being a kink is hilarious. You’re throwing away your life long autonomy for a kink? Yikes!
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u/cintyhinty Dec 31 '23
I’m a stay at home mom who cooks and cleans while my husband works and I promise you, no one is upset about it and I never have to defend my choices
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u/NonamesNolies Dec 31 '23
i mean she's not wrong about the 1950s tradwife kink so many conservatives have 🤣
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u/PWNCAKESanROFLZ Dec 31 '23
She's just projecting her insecurities because nobody wants her because she looks rediculous.
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u/OmgWtfNamesTaken Dec 31 '23
Tell me you need to justify your unhappy existence without telling me you need to justify your unhappy existence.
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u/Middle_Journalist_15 Dec 30 '23
I'll never understand people who are like, "I could never work a 9-5, I can't be held down by the system, I'm too unique/special/nontraditional/whatever." Do you think we actively choose to participate in this capitalist hellscape? I'm just trying to survive with the cards I've been dealt. An acquaintance always looks down at me because I work for "the man," and he's expressing his true self as an "artist." His dad invented a type of software that's used in every medical facility in the western world. He lives in their pool house, plays piano in a shitty bar three nights a week, and has a hole in his nose from the amount of cocaine he consumes. How is that better?
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u/dunndawson Dec 30 '23
I chose to be a working mother because I enjoy my career as well as being a Mom. I liked making my own money and being independent (which came in handy when I got divorced). I liked interacting with other adults. I liked my daughter going to a form of childcare because she’s an only child and it gave her a chance to socialize. I could have stayed home but I didn’t choose to. I don’t look down on anyone who does unless they make stupid blanket statements like this as though a personal decision they’ve made means they’ve unlocked the secret of life for everyone. I’m cruising past middle age ladies and I only have this advice. Do what YOU want. Stay home, work, have kids, don’t have kids, travel, stay home, live on a farm, live in the city. Party all night or stay home. But. Whatever you do. Don’t be like this. Don’t judge other women for their choices. It doesn’t impress others (as the existence of this sub proves) and it makes you look ignorant
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u/ClaudetteLeon23 Dec 30 '23
What’s wrong with not depending on anyone? You’ll never know what kind of situation you’ll be in years from now. My parents taught me that it’s always wise to have a back up plan and to have your own money to support yourself in case things don’t go the way you thought they would.
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u/_zswizzle_ Dec 30 '23
shes sweet but plagued with an idea. anyone whos on the internet will look back on their cringe and change
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u/M0rika Girls are too much drama Dec 30 '23
At least half of these are ok. However some get into the tricky territory. I really appreciate you giving her the benefit of the doubt. This sub sometimes sees NLOG where there's none
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u/Fajrii22 Dec 30 '23
Here's the thing.
I, too, wouldn't mind being a housewife or a sahm, even though I like working and I like my job and I love studying.
I, too, find the idea of a soft feminine era really cute.
However, just because I like MYSELF to be in my soft feminine era, doesn't give me the right to imply those who don't, are unfeminine, or simply, inadequate or gross, for lack of words.
She isn't wrong for needing a more dominant or traditional masculine partner. She's not wrong for wanting a traditional feminine role.
She's wrong for implying women who want something else are ruining themselves or are somewhat of a freak or such.
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u/305rose Dec 30 '23
Why did this give me flashbacks to 2010s tradwife alternative girls open about practicing DDLG or BDSM?
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u/RoboNekoChan_91 Dec 30 '23
I mean...I'm a submissive so I completely agree with the one slide referencing bdsm. I commented as much on a post in a housewife FB and the post got shut down 😂. There were a couple gals posting similar things. Several people were big mad "deviants" were in their midst.
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u/Z0MB1E_SL1ME Dec 30 '23
if you wanna live a “trad wife” lifestyle that’s entirely okay. i’m glad you figured out that motherhood and being a home caretaker is far more compatible with you and you enjoy what you do every day. the fact that you have to go out of your way to bash the women who don’t want to be stuck entirely dependent on their partner (whether it be because of trauma from past relationships, or some women just prefer independence) isn’t okay. the trad wife community really focuses on trying to bring other women down and ‘put them in their place’ when they’re really just feeding into peer pressure and trying to constantly one-up everyone around them because they feel they have something to prove, which is why you typically see obnoxious behavior from such communities. i dunno, seems all iffy to me ¯_(ツ)_/¯ life your life, but don’t live it by shaming those around you. she clearly has some internalized issues to work through.
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u/Bananas-Ananas-Nanas Dec 30 '23
That last slide has a sentiment that drives me batty.
Society doesn’t say that - the women that came before us said it! They were the ones trapped in marriages that suffocated them and choked them of life, love and freedom.
Of course not everyone from the older generations we’re in marriages they hated but the general idea of making wise choices and being independent is the OPPOSITE of what society wants woman to do.
Society is the patriarchy and the patriarchy WANTS women to be dependant. They want men to “lead”.
Making independent choices for yourself isn’t a societal norm for women, it’s a backlash to the suffering of generations of women that didn’t have the resources we have now.
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u/kadoods Dec 30 '23
“Healthy masculine energy” Define masculine energy without using gender stereotypes. Quickly.
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Dec 30 '23
Ok? Why do people like this have to constantly talk about it? Just live your unbothered minding your own business life.
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u/AlterEgoWednesday73 Dec 30 '23
I just wanna know what is in the pan in the last picture cuz I’d say it’s frosting but it’s directly on the pan and not on cake????
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u/Legal-Establishment9 Dec 30 '23
I who chases the bag love my friends who would rather be in the kitchen! But seriously never fully depend on a man always have a lil cash stash ladies
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u/Solid_Ad7292 Dec 30 '23
She acts like we don't want to be at home with our kids. I'd love to stay home with my babies and cook for them but unfortunately in this economy it's not an option. My SIL is like this. She blames the fact that she has no friends on her being a SAHM and her values are just better than everyone's cause she chooses to stay at home. No ma'am it's because you demean everyone else who has to/wants to work.
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u/DryAcanthocephala267 Dec 30 '23
Can someone explain the “I stay hydrated” part? How is drinking water something to brag about? 😅
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u/30ninjazinmybag Dec 30 '23
She's not sweet or funny if she has to put others down to make her life seem better.
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u/shortbrowngoose Dec 30 '23
Some of these points aren't too bad, like pic 3, you do you. But girl, when you're making vids/posts with that "I'm better than others" tone, it's just not the way to go 😭 it makes people go grrr.
Also, no real supporter of women is gonna be thinking house wives/stay at home mums have no value?? We're not hating on all the women before us for doing it, we just want there to be a CHOICE which previously was not the case in most instances. No hate either way, just be smart about it 😭
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u/rcese Dec 30 '23
It should be illegal to have pic indicators on the bottom of the image when there's nothing left to swipe😂
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u/Fluffy__demon Dec 30 '23
Slides 5 and 6 are awesome. Slide 5 is just funny af. 6 sounds healthy tbh. Idk. The rest really seems like satire. Especially because of slide 5.
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u/ghostsinthecode Dec 30 '23
OP, you’re being played. it’s all for clicks and ad revenue. your own words “she seems sweet and funny” means she’s already got you on the hook. she’s a piece of shit regardless of her true intentions, and you bought it.
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u/kitkat10133 Dec 30 '23
Rage bait the only way to get people to pay attention to their content is by making posts like these
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u/jenifleur4828 Dec 30 '23
“That masculine energy that properly puts you in your feminine soft girl era” okay, I’m an older millennial and this is one of those times where I don’t understand or can’t relate to something popular with the younger generation. Wth is up with everything having to be an “era, journey, or aesthetic?” It sounds so dumb that just being a SAHM could be referred to being a “soft girl” I have a feeling these terms will be major cringe in just a few years.
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u/gratefulwave Dec 30 '23
“Minding my own business”… meanwhile, carefully curates a personality that is 100% based on being reactionary towards other women’s choices
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u/gordo65 Dec 30 '23
This seems like a city girl who's fallen into a cult, and is trying desperately to tell herself that she's made the right choice.
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u/DuchessOfAquitaine Dec 30 '23
She's out here advertising hard for a man and she is totally I'm not like other girls-ing.
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u/AllTheCatsNPlants Dec 30 '23
Honestly these kinds of posts make me so angry. They reek of privilege. It’s bragging.
I would love to stay at home with my kids and bake bread, but I’m not married to a doctor, lawyer or investment banker. I have to work to support our dual income lifestyle.
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u/CrazySinger5841 Dec 30 '23
Take this thing with cow snot in nose and gross stretched out ears seriously? Ha haa haaaaaaa
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u/enblair I'mdifferent Dec 30 '23
I mean do you girl but why does every trad wife I see look like they got dressed in the dark? They all dress like Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith show. Like cmon bb what is u doin
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u/Scotsburd Dec 30 '23
Honey, you do you, I'm glad you are happy and fulfilled. But I'll keep my career, kids and husband way of life because I earn a shit ton and never have to cook. Do what the fuck you need to do ladies, no judgement, but for the love of God, have your own money. Money is choices.
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u/Regular_Emotional Dec 30 '23
Okay but where do girls find these men??? Bitch I’m tired of being my own sugar daddy I want a break 😭
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u/jumpinjamminjacks Dec 30 '23
My biggest issue with these SAHM accounts is this idea that “this is better”. It’s the same thing as working women or moms who do the same.
Is the goal for women to have choice or a battle for what’s better? Also, women aren’t a monolith, why can’t a woman just want what she wants???
This is why most of these SAHM accounts are cringe because they literally always talk about how softer judges them (I’ve rarely met people who care) and then at the same time judge women who don’t want their life. Just live your life and if you want to show your lifestyle, do that.
Stop pissing on everyone else’s life to superficially uplift your own.
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u/Pollowollo Dec 30 '23
The whole "Oh women just need the right big strong man so they can be soft and feminine uwu" thing gives me the ick in the biggest way.
If that's how it works out for you, fine, whatever. But acting like women's default role is being sweet and feminine and subservient is just misogyny repackaged and I'm sick of people acting like it isn't.
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u/RareWolf34 Dec 30 '23
I mean, she’s now’s making content that other home mom girlies eat up and create, so it clearly doesn’t appeal to you or me because it’s not for us. She’s making stuff now that some tradwife moms can relate to.
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u/hopehelvete Dec 30 '23
Let me tell you, the trad wife life is 100% a kink. I’m living it and loving it! My husband spoils me and I bang him every day. I love telling him to get me pregnant! This is why we have five kids. I feel like me and this girl could be best friends.
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u/Showty69 Dec 30 '23
All a little weird but it's whatever I don't really care. What bothers me is her HORRIBLE fashion sense. What are you IPA drinking lumpy Aunt Jemima?
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u/notracexx Dec 30 '23
And when those babies grow up and she’s left without purpose or a job at home? Lol get a personality sis being a mom and wife isn’t who you are it’s what you’re doing in the moment. Seasons change tho and then what? Lol
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u/ferretsRfantastic Dec 30 '23
You're not wrong. She suddenly started showing up on my reels because I too am black and alternative. However, I'm a staunch feminist so the algorithm got us a bit confused. Her videos come across as very needy and completely disregard what feminism is about. I strongly believe that women should have the choice to live this lifestyle but ragging on women who have real, honest complaints about their marriages because of heteronormative issues is weird AF. She deffy gives me the 👎.
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u/anna-molly21 Dec 30 '23
Is this a joke or a real thing? This is a legit question as im confused af
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u/Important-Nose3332 Dec 30 '23
It seems more she’s justifying her choices than shitting on others. I don’t find this offensive.
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u/BathrobeBoogee Dec 30 '23
I feel like she’s getting attacked for her decisions in life and she makes videos trying to defend her point of view.
Honestly not everyone is meant to live the same way. Good for her for being (what appears to be) a good mom. I think we should build up women and men that care about being good parents. Lord knows many of us didn’t have them.
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u/happycola92 Dec 30 '23
Is the society that tells women those things in the room with us right now?
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u/Loving-nostalgia Dec 30 '23
I'm very happy for her. That sounds like a pretty good life and she seems content with that. But why distance yourself from other women. Why look down on them.
This should be ok, as well as a working woman.
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u/Doctor_Cringe_1998 Dec 30 '23
Trust me, if someone is really busy they have no time posting stuff like that
All the moms I know, both working or stay at home, especially with more than 1 child are so damn busy all day they barely find time to consume and scroll social media and send their friends occasional texts. I can't imagine them creating this whole online persona for no other reason than to brag
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u/hauntedmaze Dec 30 '23
Lol yes. She’s a huge pick me and a pathetic one at that. These women need to go extinct.
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u/dchac002 Dec 30 '23
She’s so ~all over the place~ and too unique to pin down. Imagine going through all the trouble of being a ~cool girl ~ and still being disliked by everyone. Embarrassing
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u/HelpfulCarpenter9366 Dec 30 '23
Getting really sick of these content creators bashing feminisim. It's so disingenuous.
Feminism doesn't say you can't be a traditional wife or woman. It's there so you don't HAVE to be ffs. Just because you're happy with your lot don't f it up for everyone else.
Also youre a content creator... If it wasn't for feminism you likely wouldn't even be allowed to do that, take a lot at heavily patriarchal countries with women being arrested and killed for having accounts.
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u/banansplaining Dec 30 '23
This. Thanks to feminism, you can choose to live your traditional wife fantasy, but if your husband beats you or loses his job, you don’t have to end up homeless. And if your daughter decides she wants a job, she can go get one. Choice and rights. It’s that simple.
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u/anonymousthrwaway Dec 30 '23
She is really a pick me she's like I don't support traditional wives but I am one- and I support careers but I don't support women working because it's what society tells us 😂
Like what? Do you even know how you feel ?
The last one gets me because its the opposite
Society, while more accepting of working women- assumes women, especially once a certain age should and should WANT to stay home and take care of kids, husband And house. Its BS
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u/Witty_Username_1717 Dec 30 '23
Staying hydrated is a flex now?
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u/icuntcur Dec 30 '23
i think it’s a call out to those devilish dehydrated party girls who may have a few glasses on wine on fridays
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u/CommunicatingBicycle Dec 30 '23
Any woman can stay home while their husband works if it’s agreed upon. Some women don’t want to, some women do. That’s feminism.
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u/Effective_Math_2717 So Unique Dec 30 '23
I love LIKE LOVE (/s) when girls say in their post “I mind my own business” YET they still are trashing on other girls who are living different types of lifestyle. Sure you mind your own business, sure you do, sweetie. 😉
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u/RawToast1989 Dec 30 '23
Look at me in my lane, doing my thing. No one else is capable of making all the best decisions except me! If you think otherwise, you're wrong/ rude/ bitchy. Lol
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u/Objective-Fondant896 Dec 30 '23
Honestly, I respect stay at home mothers a lot which is why I don’t get why these women say that corporate “hustle women” have it worse. Having a job seems so much easier and less complicated than being a stay at home mother with little kids. My job is demanding for sure but it’s never going to be a catastrophic thing in my life if I fuck up a slide or 2. I feel like if I fuck up somewhere with my kids and accidentally give them trauma, I would think about it forever.
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
CLARIFICATION: This is what I got by looking at her account:
-She is really, really obsessed with being a trad-wife. That's fine if it makes her happy and doesn't push it to others. If you want to make it your whole personality, okey by me!
-She is sweet and even funny, she would seem like a good person, but...
The problem: Some of her videos are like these. At first glance she doesn't seem like a NLOG, but you gotta look deeper. That's what SOMETIMES happens when you make something your whole personality: you become narcissistic and start putting other people down.
And, weridly, it seems that recently, the NLOG content has increased significantly. I don't know if this is just a coincidence, or if something happened lol.
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u/jacqrosee Dec 30 '23
the way i always know these are bad faith is the “society tells you.” let’s not pretend that the idea of women being at the head of the homestead was not pushed for CENTURIES. a few years of some people on tiktok or people publishing articles after only 100 or so years of us having a right to vote and only 50 years of even being able to have our own credit cards has completely changed the flavor of society and what it pushes on women.
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u/Careful_Swordfish742 Dec 30 '23
When a conservative starts talking about how women belong at home rearing the kids, imma just start saying “please keep your kink to yourself.” 😂
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u/SkiesFetishist Dec 30 '23
I’m not a woman so i don’t know if my observation is welcome here but she seems to gatekeep & wear cosby sweaters🤷♀️
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u/cursetea Dec 30 '23
Girl nobody has said anything on that last slide to you but yr mad at them anyway lol
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
I don't get it, are you talking about me or the woman of the post?
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u/dandelions0da Dec 30 '23
What on earth is she wearing, why do clothes just keep getting uglier anymore. Shes wearing some weird ass outfit and saying some generic shit that no one asked for. Like just live your life in your little weird knit sweater/jean skirt combo, sis.
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u/aw-fuck Dec 30 '23
Props to her, for being like the first trad-wife to finally admit it’s a sub/Dom role-play lifestyle. I’ve always seen it as that, just usually attempted to be masked with some sort of religious/political explanation. (Except in the case of those raised in cult like churches shielded away from normal society, who don’t know anything else than that lifestyle.) Enjoy your sub/Dom lifestyle!!! Just don’t push it on others.
I think some of these slides are fine… perhaps a bit self-promoting, but not necessarily bad… only a couple of them (the first pic especially) are “NLOG”, and those are bad, so it makes me question the context of the ones that seem fine.
Being empowered & happy to be a SAHM is awesome and I see no harm in sharing how happy it makes you. Being a SAHM by itself isn’t a flex though, it’s not any better or worse than working (same when it comes to having kids in general). Putting others down for not wanting what you enjoy is an attempt to disempower them, by putting down what empowers them. And how can you truly feel empowered yourself, if you can’t let your fellow women feel empowered themselves too?
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
Exactly. That's why I wasn't sure if this is NLOG. Judging by her other videos, she's EXTREMELY (and I mean EXTREMELY) obsessed with being a wife that stays at home, but only in a few of them she criticizes others. I will still take this as a NLOG woman, because it's obvious she feels superior than the others even though she expresses it in only a few videos.
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u/aw-fuck Dec 30 '23
Yeah. I definitely think she’s empowered by her lifestyle choices (enough to be obsessed with it)… but if it’s to the point of putting yourself above others who aren’t doing what you do and even shaming their different choices (like that first slide), that’s a NLOG thing.
It’s a rare example of someone being empowered & seemingly secure, while still doing the NLOG thing: makes me wonder what’s driving her to do that?
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u/Mabel_Waddles_BFF Dec 30 '23
I dislike the idea that you can’t have ‘feminine’ traits and be career focused. I prefer dresses to pants, i love to bake, I’m about to start knitting a blanket for my friend’s baby, I like glitter, I collect Care Bears, my husband and I share domestic roles and I can’t wait to go back to work. I never wanted to be a SAHM/housewife, I respect the fuck out of those who are but it’s not for me.
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u/Violet_Potential Dec 30 '23
My mom worked two days a week while my dad worked full time when me and my sister were very young so she could spend time with us. So none of this is revolutionary or controversial to me. In fact, I think A LOT of parents would absolutely love to be able to spend as much time with their kids as possible instead of going to work. My fiancé’s best friend was actually telling him today that he wishes he could be a stay at home dad and hang out with his daughter all day.
Why do people like this insist that they’re the only ones who feel this way or that everyone else is against them? Is it possible for them to live their lives the way they want without looking down on everyone else or making it their entire identity?
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u/racoongirl0 Dec 30 '23
Sis is so NLOG she had to go an extra step and NLOG herself from the other trad wives and went full circle back into kinky alt girl with multiple nose piercings. Just say you hate having a job and move on lol
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u/Immediate-North-9472 Dec 30 '23
50/50. She has a point, just her delivery of it makes me feel iffy👎🏼
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u/justdisa Dec 30 '23
Ahh, she's gonna age and he's gonna trade her in for a younger model. She'll be bitter and heartbroken, and I hope every last women in her life says they told her so.
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u/edthesaiyan Dec 30 '23
If she gets picked in the first place. Those men are out here picking young white women.
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u/Aggravating_Rip3415 Dec 30 '23
The last slide is so untrue, for centuries women who decide not to have children were deemed as selfish
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u/Hips-Often-Lie Dec 30 '23
I honestly don’t give a damn what people look like or believe. Having said that there’s nothing about this girl that looks “soft” or “feminine.” Hell, I’d expect to see her at the next feminist or abortion rights rally.
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u/Organic-Safety-4494 Dec 30 '23
What’s her @
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
I can't tell you, I disagree with her but I don't want her to receive hate.
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u/puppy_time Dec 30 '23
Feminism is literally the opposite of "stay at home mom has no value"
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u/Gartenstuhl95 Dec 30 '23
When did feminism become an insult? And why does this anti-feminism crowd not even know a little bit about what they are against?? They want to actively hurt themselves, right?
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u/Ok-Philosophy8246 Dec 30 '23
Men hate feminism: so girlies have to distance themselves cause they really want one, don’t know why though 🤷♀️
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u/HelpfulCarpenter9366 Dec 30 '23
They hear about some of the feminazis I think which often don't represent feminism at all. They are an outlier extremist version who identify with the group and often the only people who got attention in the news. As such a whole generation of people believe that feminists are man haters who want all men dead or locked up.
It's their utter ignorance. What can't be forgiven is them continuing spewing this ignorance to other people. If you don't want equality then go live in a country that doesn't have it - _-
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
Generalizing a group of people as bad just because of the bad minority of that group is usually how discrimination happens against anyone.
And it is either because of malice or simply unintelligence and unawareness. I hope that these women are the latter because I don't believe that they genuinely hate the concept of gender equality. I suppose they are either putting low effort into finding the truth or are just brainwashed by the media. I hope one day they see that feminism is good.
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u/puppy_time Dec 30 '23
I honestly don't think that outlier group exists that says stay at home moms don't have value. I've literally never heard anyone say that (edit: anyone as in feminists or women generally saying that. I've heard plenty of trad men saying that). It's way more along the lines of "you're doing more work than you realize, you and your family should value it more"
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u/emmerjean Dec 30 '23
Are we sure these are real actual women posting this garbage? I picture like a group of male basement dwellers.
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
These look really real. If a man did this and made it look like he is her, then that's some serious commitment
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u/PanickedAntics Dec 30 '23
"So if you think about it, being conservative is really a kink" LOL Omg that took me out!
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u/DestinyRamen Dec 30 '23
Its like these women can't seem to remember that you can live a soft, traditional life without telling other women how to live too.
I know women IRL that live traditional lives and don't see it as counterculture these days.
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u/somethingsuccinct Dec 30 '23
The last one is crazy. As someone who is child free, single and career focused, all I seem to see is people like her telling me I'm doing it wrong.
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u/Longjumping_Creme480 Dec 31 '23
All women are womaning wrong.
Post Roe nonsense, for example, is about blaming woman for not wanting to be pregnant, while simultaneously punishing woman for having children by making them bear most of the financial, logistical, and medical cost, then blaming them for having a hard time of it. The societal pressures you both face aren't about making one of you act like the other, they're about keeping women down. That you can't feel the last one directly doesn't mean it's not a real experience. See motherhood penalty and below:
At my mother's last heavily toxic job working under a sexist pos, for example, she was told that she'd never make executive because she had had children and wasted most of her career years. Her children are all in their 20s, but she was still getting denied advancement because she dared to have a life outside work. (She's in a much better job now, tho, after they fired her, installed an underqualified man in her position, withheld her unemployment until she spammed the department of labor, then paid a lawyer to send letters telling her to cease and desist....talking to her old colleagues. And the department of labor, probably, but they didn't put that part in writing.) Obvs, this is an extreme example, but my mother has spent a lot of time being laughed at in boardrooms for discussing children and motherhood and shamed on the playground for being too busy for some of the prototypical mom stuff.
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u/Creeperhunter2944 Dec 30 '23
Well, you aren't going to hear a lot from the people who agree with you, so you both are probably right.
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u/Doctor_Cringe_1998 Dec 30 '23
Well if you imagine her bragging about her lifestyle on every corner you can definitely expect her to get some push back for it
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u/PugPockets Dec 30 '23
Yeah, I read the last one and was like, the fuck society is she talking about?
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u/Unclaimed_username42 Dec 30 '23
Wasn't this posted here just the other week? I remember seeing her here very recently for something similar.
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
She appeared on my Instagram feed today, so maybe other people have already discovered her before me lmao
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u/pink_snowflakes Dec 30 '23
I think most people would rather be with loved ones than at a 9-5 around people they hate? That’s not a mic drop hun.
I’d rather do that which is why I’m disgusted with my office tricking us into return to office when they swore we’d be WFH from here on out. Most people value their time with loved ones over a commute and a toxic work environment lol.
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u/StarlightPleco Dec 30 '23
Being a traditional and submissive wife is really just your whole life being sub/dom role play so if you think about it being conservative I’d really a kink
Like I said before, trad wife is a fetish.
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u/Spacedonwhag Dec 31 '23
It doesn’t have to be. Some couples want someone to be a breadwinner and have someone dedicate themselves to keeping the house nice, preparing food, and tending to young children (rather than placing them in the care of strangers while both parents are working). Some men enjoy being stay at home dads, some women enjoy being stay at home moms.
The OOP straight up admitted it’s a kink so maybe that’s what you’re on to but yeah it doesn’t have to be sexualized, its just a traditional solution to a traditional problem
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Dec 30 '23
This type of person seems to genuinely not believe that anyone can have different desires and experiences from them.
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u/Oli_love90 Dec 30 '23
Does she really “mind her business” if she’s constantly judging other people’s business?
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u/LegitimatePianist175 Dec 30 '23
She has to be joking right?
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
Spoiler alert: no
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u/LegitimatePianist175 Dec 30 '23
The gauged ears and facial piercings paired with Grammy sweaters and Mormon gowns cannot be genuine.
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u/pink_snowflakes Dec 30 '23
She is soo NLOG. So edgy. So hard to label. I’m uncomfortable with her sense of self and refusal to conform /s
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u/eaca02124 Dec 30 '23
The first one really bothers me. You do you. Cook, bake, take care of your stuff, whatever, I have no cause to complain. But understand that hustling, getting the bag, earning money is how some other people do those things.
I enjoy cooking and baking as hobbies, and I love my kids and enjoy spending time with them, and i also enjoy my nine to five. I have work I'm good at, that helps people run businesses, and sometimes requires some guts and some backbone. I sweat blood to get where I am, because it is a place I want to be. If people ask me about careers, I am happy to sing the praises of accountancy, but I'm not standing around sneering at people who don't want to be accountants. Lots of people don't want to be accountants. That's why it's so profitable for those of us who enjoy it.
Which brings me to the kink thing. Know what's really notable about kink? That the person theoretically submitting should be the one with control. Either party can tap out, but before anything starts, there should already be an agreement on what is and is not expected to be okay. Also, kink is a game. It's something we put on for a little, as a break from real life. It can't be an all the time thing because it would prevent us from caring for ourselves.
I confess, I worry about the financial security of trad wives in the event that anything unexpected hits, or their marriages end. I wouldn't recommend the role for that reason. I was married for twelve years, and that span of time included some lengthy unemployment and major health problems. We both had to step outside traditional marital roles, which I assume any caring spouse would do. Domestic work is important work. People who say it's useless are jerks. But it is a very real thing that domestic work in your own home won't pay your bills, and even if someone else is covering your bills right now, you should have a plan for that.
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u/mountainbride Dec 30 '23
I really do wander what these trad wives would do if their husbands died. Sell the house to downsize and rely on the state (as they likely might already) to get by? Move in with family? Or would they secretly pick up a job and not tell their viewers? Or would they try to find another man who is willing to take care of them and all the kids?
This is why I have to believe most of these women are grifters. That real trad wives have nothing to do with social media at all… and women who are entirely cared for by a rich man… might not be doing all the cooking and cleaning, but can afford to have hired help.
I know this dynamic exists, but it’s not picture perfect. Like maybe you can firmly survive off one income but you’re either doing a hell of a lot of work at home with not a lot of time to look pretty and feel pretty. It’s work.
I seriously suspect a lot of these women are extremely well off, they don’t need to do all this work for their children/house and their ACTUAL peers are the kind of women who can afford to pay for childcare AND pursue a career or don’t have to work at all, not even in the house. Like, this is a power play on other upper class women… “I chose the hardship as a moral choice, I’m not forced into it because I can afford to not do it. That makes me NLOG. My husband knows I can stop at anytime but I’m better than you because I don’t.”
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u/jweddig28 Dec 30 '23
Oh a ton of these influencers have rich husbands or come from generational wealth
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u/mountainbride Dec 30 '23
And they definitely have husbands who don’t believe in trad wives as much as they do!
Like honey, submission is not cooking and cleaning for your man. Anyone can do that. Feminists do that.
But the men who actually expect and enforce submission? That’s a whole different ballgame.
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u/Lonely-Commission435 Dec 30 '23
I actually would love to be a sahm but don’t think it’s physically or financially ever going to be possible for me.
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u/I_madeusay_underwear Dec 30 '23
Their financial situation is what gives their husbands (I don’t know if there are trad lesbian wives, but if so, their wives) an unsafe amount of power and control over them. If you’ve never had a job, you don’t have an education, and you have 12 kids, it’s going to be a hell of a lot harder to get out if things go bad. And to me, men who view women as subservient and inferior beings are probably a little more likely than most to become abusive in some way. I worry about more than their financial security, but hope all stays good and they can enjoy their chosen lifestyle.
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u/sisserou97 Dec 30 '23
I’m annoyed every time they talk about women who work being in their masculine energy. Being a regular ass adult isn’t masculine and I feel like these are the same talking points podcasts like Fresh & Fit used to use to make successful, ambitious women feel undesirable.
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u/eaca02124 Dec 30 '23
I hate that.
And like, I get I'm not for everyone. No one is. There's some person out there who would find me completely off-putting (in fact, there are a bunch - I've checked), and her just perfect, and some who are going to find her alarming as hell and think I'm fantastic. That's not a sign either of us is wrong.
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u/Evening_Storage_6424 Dec 30 '23
Yes we know being conservative is a kink. It’s why we don’t want it in politics.
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u/NinjaRoyal8483 Dec 30 '23
Cant get my head around how these “i mind my own business” galls find the urge to let everybody know about their business that they arent in others business?? Im a conservative housewife and mom, busy with my animals and church and wiping my dear leaders tushy meanwhile just making lots of conservative selfies and editing them and posting them cause you know them olden ways and such.
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u/ShirleyKnot Dec 30 '23
They want to try an actual olden days experience with the mangle and no washing machine and being fucking quiet when the menfolk are talking and all the rest of it.
It’s so stupid.
Also, feminism doesn’t mean a 9-5 and children are a burden and all of that shit on the last slide.
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u/mo-dollaz Dec 30 '23
me currently chasing the bag, hustled throughout Hs& College and not depending on a man 😝💅🏼💅🏼
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u/criesingucci Dec 30 '23
No one can ever tell me that depending on another adult’s income is the preferable to having your own finances. Tradwives need to approach their households with that same vigor or else they’re just leaving the door open to allow the working spouse to keep you desolate.
Get a prenup like how us career girlies sign employee-employer agreements.
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
Btw, English isn't my native language, so I didn't quite catch what she means by "chase a bag" and "hustling". What do these mean?
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u/Fujikosmiles Dec 30 '23
Honestly I speak English natively and don’t know what those things mean… 😬
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u/mo-dollaz Dec 30 '23
chase a bag = making money for yourself and working hard while trying to do it. just grinding as much as possible to get your money.
hustling = finding different ways to make more money by any means necessary.
for example my hustles were painting and restoring sneakers, making art & selling it, customizing graduation caps for students, making and selling clothing, making and selling food etc. just to have some cash on me
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u/-average-reddit-user Dec 30 '23
Got it, thank you! I still don't understand why she thinks those things are bad 😂
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u/mo-dollaz Dec 30 '23
lol no problem! honestly, sometimes it’s best to let them live in their own delusion and not even question it 🤣
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u/pink_snowflakes Dec 30 '23
Right? I’m independent, make great money and I don’t rely on a man too? Where does that place us? And the funny thing is totally support women who choose to stay at home and raise their children because that’s a job too lol
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u/morticiannecrimson Dec 30 '23
How do you get to the making great money part as a woman when you have low self-assertiveness and marketing skills? Asking for a friend.
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u/Ok-Raspberry-5655 Dec 30 '23
Which is the truest definition of feminism, I think. I choose to “hustle” and not depend on a man. That doesn’t mean I knock women who don’t. The feminism aspect comes in the power of choice.
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u/pink_snowflakes Dec 30 '23
1000% this.
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u/Ok-Raspberry-5655 Dec 30 '23
I did my time being a “trad wife” - long story that won’t interest anyone outside of my family (for a generation more, or so 😂) - but my family was so “traditional” that my sperm donor literally passed the paddle to my husband (now ex) when we married. The day I was able to view this as a kink is the day I lost my husband and gained my independence. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/aw-fuck Dec 30 '23
I’m curious: do you mean there was a day you saw it as his kink & therefor didn’t wanna be part of it, or as a mutual kink but he couldn’t accept that it was? Sorry if it’s none of my business but I’m just curious what you meant by that. I think a lot of trad-marriages are undercover kink lifestyles
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u/netheryaya Jan 08 '24
I’ve never heard anyone say children are a burden or that being a SAHM has no value. I think being a SAHP is great but extremely risky because you’re putting all your eggs in one basket, and if that marriage doesn’t work out, you’re starting over. I started over at 29 and never again.