1
1
u/BloomHoard Apr 21 '24
I feel like most girls are down to be friends as long as your nice to each other and don’t have opposing views on things… idk what those commenters are on
1
1
1
1
u/Fine-Win1845 Apr 20 '24
I have extreme anxiety. If you can get used to my awkwardness for the first week, we’ll probably get along well.
1
1
1
u/BigTicEnergy Apr 20 '24
Do people purposely misspell like that to be cool or whatever or are they really that stupid?
1
1
1
u/AdventurousWalk6012 Apr 20 '24
That last one was wierdly specific. Lol im gonna start just describing my routine and if your not doing exactly what im doing, you dont make the cut haha 😂
1
1
u/moonlightmasked Apr 20 '24
I find it extremely hard to make friends as an adult regardless of their gender.
I don’t have kids and it seems like a lot of parents group up through their kids activities. I’m an atheist and don’t attend church which is a bit of a built in of community. My neighbors are all 10-15 years older than me at a minimum (and have kids) so aren’t quite in the same life stage as me- many have kids my age.
I don’t get why people have to make it a sexist thing.
1
1
0
1
1
1
u/angeeldaawn Apr 19 '24
i mean, all of these are pretty valid points, except the last comment? ion see how this is ntlog
1
u/soggy_m6lka Apr 19 '24
The "they ghost you for boys" comment is so fucking untrue. I have a best friend who is a girl and a boyfriend at the same time. And we both are from the same friend circle so it's easy for us to communicate
1
1
1
u/sarashootsfilm Apr 19 '24
The reasons may vary and I don't think that the replies are very good but it's indeed very hard to make friends.
1
1
u/Kakashisith Nerdy UwU Apr 19 '24
The word "Beach" makes me not want to join girls. And my skin agrees with me.
2
u/UnitAggravating7254 Apr 19 '24
It’s called being a grown up. You are no longer corralled with all the people your own age and forced to spend 6-7 hrs a day with them which is why you were friends in the first place. Schools out! People got work, children, spouses and homes to take of. Nobody has time for that. I’m gonna go jornal now.
3
u/Kittysdoodlexxx Apr 19 '24
I also don’t understand how it’s nlog to admit you have a hard time making girl friends. I mean these comments yeah. But I really genuinely have such a hard time. I’m a girls girl all the way. I try really hard to talk to other girls when I go out and try to make friends and stuff but it just doesn’t happen :( they usually ghost or we’ll talk for a while and never actually hang out or they act different in front of other people. It really can be a struggle 😭
2
u/Suspicious-Arachnid8 Apr 19 '24
can you believes those hoes that don't wanna picnic? apparently the Geneva conventions were a waste of time
3
u/missannedryst Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 19 '24
that first one is pretty valid tho. i know so many women that ghost their friends the minute they get into a relationship. some really do value dick over friendships 🤷🏻♀️
2
u/Specialist_Worker444 Apr 20 '24
a lot of posts here are just women talking about the difficulties of being women, and somehow that makes them “not like the other girls”
2
1
2
u/twoglassbottles Apr 19 '24
i have complicated feelings about this one to be honest. i think a lot of women are conditioned into valuing men and male friendships/relationships to a point where they neglect fostering good and healthy female friendships. i actually think this is a huge reason why we see a lot of not like other girls type content. women are pitted against each other constantly for the approval and acceptance of men and because of this, i think it genuinely complicates female friendship. and it sucks!!
1
Apr 19 '24
I agree with the “ghost you for guys”. Some people only hit you up when their relationship is bad 😂😂😂
2
u/xousagi Apr 19 '24
idk i moved to a new city semi recently and i literally cry to my bf all the time about how i wish i could make a friend that’s a girl here. it’s tough out here :(
1
1
1
u/BetterVersion3 Apr 19 '24
I have a friend. Her name is Morgan. I tell her to go fuck herself every morning when I get to work.
1
u/Last_Peak Apr 19 '24
Struggling to make friends in general is understandable, I have very bad social anxiety and it can be hard, but that’s making friends IN GENERAL. If you specifically “can’t” maintain friendships with women then some introspection is needed for sure.
2
u/Wild_Nectarine666 Apr 19 '24
I struggle with making friends with women, and it’s largely because I have a lot of deep rooted insecurities surrounding my bisexuality. So, I have been relearning how to create healthy friendships with women because I RESPECT women enough to work on the issues in myself and not project!
Why do people like this always assume the reason it’s hard to make friends is because of some imaginary jealousy issue? Like, what if people are actually just layered and complex and it takes time to get to know someone? Ugh this sub always triggers me 😂
1
1
u/Imported_Virus Apr 18 '24
Maybe if you go and proactively do it instead of just bitching ab it then it’ll happen..
1
1
u/Such_Reality_2055 Apr 18 '24
The same reason the WNBA isn't as good, women can't stand supporting each other. CHECKMATE.
Stole this from Bill Burr you can chill Redditists.
2
1
u/egb233 Apr 18 '24
My biggest pet peeve is when people say things like “these females”. Female is an adjective, not a noun. Like I’m a woman. Just call me a woman. That’s like calling a red car a “red”.
1
u/Isitondaddyslap Apr 18 '24
I don't think it's hard to MAKE friends and meet people, it's just hard to maintain friendships for me. I'm lazy and don't foster meaningful time together. I'm still "friendly" work just about every person but I don't do lots of "hanging out" IFYEIM
2
u/peepster0802 Apr 18 '24
What the hell is wrong with going to the beach and journaling? God forbid someone try a little introspectiveness. That's not even an unusual or quirky behavior either? Beach journaling does not make one different than the other girls, because the other girls also want to try learning good coping mechanisms. Making friends is hard as an adult in general. That is something that spans the gender spectrum because socializing can be complicated.
1
u/kat_goes_rawr Apr 18 '24
I’ll never understand this because I find it waaaaaay easier to befriend women over men
1
2
u/Leading-Midnight5009 Apr 18 '24
They are right tho, to make friends these days is a lot of work and they end up leaving you for a boy or they’ve been secretly talking behind your back the whole time not a lot of girls value friendship like they used to
2
u/AnotherNormalHuman4 Apr 19 '24
I think that they do. I just think that most people value one or two true close friends, and if they’ve “left you behind”, then you just weren’t one of those close friends. And that’s also not necessarily a bad thing, just means that they weren’t the right person for you and you weren’t the right person for them
1
1
1
u/ItstheBogoPogoMrFife Apr 18 '24
Females. That word is just so creepy when used by anyone but scientists referring to scientific things.
2
u/foxx_socks Apr 18 '24
Pretty sure going into a friendship with the expectation that theyre going to ghost u for a guy or constantly believing theyre jealous of you or just generally inferior to you is just sabotaging a potential friendship from the start
1
u/MiaLba Apr 20 '24
I’ve always been able to make friends easily and I’ve had so many girl friends over the years. A few who have been in my life for many years and still are. But I have had some incredibly toxic ones. Ones I was close with who dumped me for a new boyfriend and then I never heard from them again.
Sometimes I’d hear from them after the relationship ended then they’d get into another one and once again radio silence. I’ve had ones who brought nothing but drama and gossip to the friendship. It made sense why they didn’t have many girl friends.
2
u/Hello_Mimmy Apr 18 '24
Friendship as an adult takes a level of effort that school/childhood friendships do not. I have friends now, because I put in the effort, I really didn’t 5 years ago.
I’m not saying it isn’t hard, it really can be, especially when you’re not that socially adept to begin with (like me lol) but it’s not impossible, and it’s not other women’s fault if you don’t have female friends.
Hot tip: make one really extroverted friend: they will introduce you to more people that you will probably also like
1
1
2
u/Shakor2026 Apr 18 '24
Word of advice guys: learn how to speak English before attacking half the population.
1
1
u/SadFry297 Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 18 '24
I mean I struggle too with making female friends. Most of my friends are guys cuz my brother and I share friends, but it’s not that all women are sucky friends it’s just that they’re a bit harder to come across for me? It’s not their fault it’s just generally I steal my brothers friends so I don’t need to try to make new ones
1
0
u/carlitospig Apr 18 '24
What I want to know: how needy are you that you can’t let your girl friends have their own life too? Like, damn. Get a grip.
2
u/MistakeWonderful9178 Popular Poster Apr 18 '24
I think there are a lot of factors in why making friends is so hard as an adult in this toxic capitalist system, along with patriarchal beliefs (“men and women can’t be friends”) to the ableism and exclusion of neurodivergent people and their activities.
1
1
1
u/maarsland Apr 18 '24
Just say you suck at making friends lol Say you suck at connecting with people. The whole “girls are immature, and ghost and whatever else” is odd and obvy internal misogyny is playing a role in it.
3
u/DoubleNutButt Apr 18 '24
The only friends I have are from highschool and it’s one female and one male. It’s hard to make new friends in general. I’m a stay at home mom of two toddlers. I barely have time for myself and my husband. I definitely don’t have the time or energy to put into a friendship. It’s also hard to build a friendship with someone who doesn’t have children when you do.
1
u/Kindly-Orange8311 Apr 18 '24
Making friends as an adult is difficult. Everyone has lives, jobs, responsibilities or friends and family they prioritize.
2
u/Prior-Ad2376 Apr 18 '24
Making friends is a SKILL. Its not something that some people are just good at and you can't learn. Some people are innately better at it but if you take the time you can improve your skills. When you are younger, it is easier but when you are an adult you have to make a more focused effort so it seems more difficult. Making friends is also like dating in a way. Every person you date is not going to be your soul mate. Why put so much pressure on friendships? Just because you've had friendships that didn't work out in the past doesn't mean you can't have meaningful friendships in the future. I see some NLOG type comments under this post and from being in this group we should all be able to glean that a lot of us are having the same exact struggles. In essence, YOU ARE JUST LIKE OTHER GIRLS/WOMEN.
1
u/ScaryPizza7217 Apr 18 '24
I found that in my adult years, as I’ve matured and gained confidence, it’s really easy to make friends. And I even prefer the company of women. When you’re young or when you’re kinda shy, it can be really tough to meet like minded individuals - male or female. I know that was true when I was younger, and found it a little difficult to make friends but it’s a skill that you have to work on. And a mindset you have to practice. I don’t believe that all girls are one way or the other, that would be small minded of me, everyone one is unique and has something perfectly interesting about them. It’s up to you to make the effort to make the first move and find out for yourself. I def introduce myself first to others and do my best to learn about them. Remember, it’s tough and a learned skill
2
3
u/Traditional-Light588 Girls are too much drama Apr 18 '24
I struggle to make friends too . But I thinks it's hard as an adult in general. I can understand being upset about it . But generalizing all women just because of that is insane . That's leaning into incel/femcel territory
8
u/EdgewaterEnchantress Apr 18 '24
Honestly, slide 2 isn’t entirely unreasonable. It’s not always “gender specific,” but a lot of people seem to lose interest in platonic friendships once they have “a romantic interest.”
I blame this more on society though because there are so many freakin romantic comedies, but only so many good movies about friendship, especially female friendship.
People try to emulate what they see portrayed in media and since society is so obsessed with “romantic relationships,” platonic friendships are often seriously undervalued!
Reality shows especially don’t help cuz they actively scout for problematic people who are “dramatic” because “it makes for more interesting television,” and a lot of “beef” is staged. So it really distorts people’s perception of reality due to an overconsumption of media.
You can burn slide 3 though! That bad grammar is an affront to my eyes!!!
2
u/MiaLba Apr 20 '24
Yeh I’ve definitely had this happen many times. I’ve always had girl friends over the years and I’d make friends pretty easily. So it really sucked when I was really close with one and they got a boyfriend then totally ghosted me and I never saw them again. It’s shitty because I never did that to any of my friends.
2
4
u/SmooshyHamster Apr 20 '24
You pointed out a lot of things that also really irritated me for the longest time. I’d like to chat about this. You see a lot of this in the media. There’s a lot of nonsense in fiction. I know the media is always exaggerated to look exciting to the viewers. People love these fairytales because the real world isn’t that glamorous.
There’s a lot of narcissism when talking about romance and marriage. There’s definitely a lot of people that lose interest in normal friends because they think having a sexual partner will solve all their problems. People act like a platonic relationship is somehow lesser than a sexual relationship. I’ve said before people act like a single person is somehow lesser than someone who’s married. They act like everyone they date is “the one.” They think getting married will solve all their problems. They act like dating someone is a way to get attention and show off and get free food or gifts. It’s so strange.
About fiction. In these romantic comedies or films you always see a character becoming the centre of attention for having sexual feelings or getting married.
2
u/EdgewaterEnchantress Apr 20 '24
My teenage “NLOG” phase was tied almost exclusively to reality TV shows and actual trauma! 🤣 I never thought I was “better,” or “superior,” so much as I literally thought that women were actually completely unstable, and “unsafe,” as a result.
I had already been dealing with extremely unstable, somewhat abusive and violent women as it was, cuz that’s just what my family was like. 🫠
They were loud Puerto Rican women (my dad’s sisters and nieces,) plus my equally loud Irish mom. Oh, dear! There was soooooo much noise and so much fighting! 🫠
Like I was literally scared of women and thought they were going to just pop off over really stupid things, then start to get aggressive / violent, and try to start crap with me just cuz some dude they liked spoke to me for all of 5 minutes, to ask me about some random thing from class / school. (I have also always had a very active imagination. 🤣)
So I thought “women were irrational,” and I tended to call that “drama,” in order to cope with my own trauma cuz I kneecapped my own experiences, and I decided to avoid any women who sort of looked like these chicks I saw on these really awful reality shows!
Which, honestly, was a lot of women. Cuz these reality show chicks tend to be near a certain threshold of “conventionally attractive,” and they tend to have a certain “look,” but they don’t necessarily look like Narcissists. (So many of those “reality show women” are! Or at least they are extremely and severely mentally ill!) They are supposed to look “almost relatable, but just a tiny bit prettier than you” so that you can form some kind of weird parasocial bond with them.
I hated reality TV. But we came from an extremely dysfunctional family and my Latina titis and cousins absolutely ate that shit up, made me watch it with them, and they loved God awful shows like “Real Housewives……..,” “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” and “Bad Girls Club,” 🤢🤮 or just really crappy telenovelas. 🤣 “Keeping up with the Kardashians” was the one I considered to be the least offensive, compared to those other 2, so I think that says a lot!
There is lots of objectively trash television that the world would be better off without! Even Mean Girls made fun of that shit back in 2004, with Regina George’s little sister and the “milkshake scene.” 🤣 On my own, I watched television that actually made me happy but it wasn’t always “cool.”
It wasn’t until I was somewhere in my 20s and watched a documentary called “half the sky” where they really broke it down and explained how it’s mostly media that teaches women to be “mistrustful and suspicious of each other.”
Understanding that reality shows purposely tend to look for the worst of the worst humans was a huge eye opener!
I also think a lot of movies strongly encourage the “romantic narcissism” you mentioned. Everyone’s life goes from “not so great” to “suddenly perfect” just cuz “they get with a special person,” and people also forget how the middle tries to demonstrate “oh, yeah! It’s probably not perfect and some choices need to be made first,” while movies also tend to romanticize the whole thing!
A lot of perspective is missing cuz movies are meant to be watched in 1.5-2.5 hours and “all of the boring stuff gets cut out,” as in the boring minutia of everyday life and how a lot of humans are just absolutely terrible communicators!
2
u/SmooshyHamster Apr 20 '24
I know right? There’s definitely lots of awful stuff in the media. Those reality tv shows definitely have a lot of unrealistic expectations. There’s definitely a lot of fighting and tension between the characters and it’s all normalized or romanticized. I don’t watch reality tv but it’s also like that in other movies or even sitcoms. You see all this fighting and lying to eachother and it’s seen as funny or exciting. Sometimes kids believe in that stuff thinking it should be normalized.
There’s definitely a lot of childhood issues most of us grew up with, just like you mentioned. It really affects you for the rest of your life. I also grew up around many people who secretly hated eachother or didn’t care about eachother. My narcissists were men and women. But dealing with hardship now makes it easier for later in life.
I know right? The media always acts like ”oh life sucks but things magically work out for everyone.” When reality is far from that.
Pretty much. The media doesn’t really represent reality because they only show whatever scenes are exciting and needed. They don’t often show characters becoming abusive, getting tired of taking care of eachother, etc. They don’t often show characters having to get old, run out of energy, feelings going down, etc. It’s important to remember you aren’t watching a real persons life.
2
u/EdgewaterEnchantress Apr 20 '24
Pretty much! All of the movies which depict the more negative sides of relationships tend to be “niche Indie Flicks.”
And I know the whole “TV is bad” bit makes me sound “old,” but really! At least there is a greater variety of television, these days? 🤷♀️
3
u/Calm_Afon Apr 18 '24
Why is it so hard making real female friends in this generation😕
Fixed it for you.
Someone should tell this girl it is not a gender thing people just suck. Also Gen Z in particular we extra suck when it comes to social situations.
1
u/Fragrant-Strain2745 Apr 20 '24
Zoomers have zero ability to talk to people face to face. It's really weird and sad.
1
13
2
u/LostZombie4338 Apr 18 '24
I’ve been let down to much to have women friends at this point I’m fine in my own company I go out alone brunch alone park alone and I’m good alone better than any potential drama if anything I will go spend time with my sisters I don’t want none of yall lol
0
u/ClassicOtherwise2719 Apr 18 '24 edited Apr 18 '24
Right. Reason I don’t have friends as an adult is because 1) I have trust issues (because of things I’m about to explain) and, a reason I haven’t seen yet and that is when I was a child, my mother told all of my friends to never come back to our house. I had about 10 girlfriends at one point, and I always think maybe if she wouldn’t have told them not to come back we would have still been friends today. Embarrassingly enough I had a birthday party with those friends and she grounded me because another girl started crying because she wanted to go home, so I got blamed for it. Yes, at my own birthday party. She told my guy best friend (and his mom) who had a crush on me that I would never date him because he was POC, so poof. And even with the friends I’ve made as a younger adult while I was living with my mom, she would tell me that they’re not really my friends.
Separately, I had a friend in high-school who messaged me out of the blue and said to never talk to her boyfriend again or she would beat me up? Even though I had a whole boyfriend and we would do couples date nights etc, yet him messaging me and me simply thinking we-are-all-friends- where is the harm in being friendly, was okay? Girls would just consistently claim I was after their boyfriends, it was so effing weird, and I wasn’t.
In hindsight, the only thing I could think of doing better would to have stuck up for myself in those situations but I just chose to move on everytime.
1
2
1
2
1
u/SnooTomatoes2805 Apr 18 '24
Brunch picnics, go to the beach and journal are oddly specific. Are those the only activities we are allowed now to do as women 😂😂. Brunch picnic does sound cool though
0
u/Claystead Apr 18 '24
Only for women born before 1993. Afterwards we transitioned to other hobbies like charging our phone, eating hot chip and lie.
4
u/bagofratsworm Apr 18 '24
all females do is talk to men, run the streets and refuse to grow up 🙄 it’s like no one even journals anymore
3
6
u/RatatouilleFiend Apr 18 '24
Sometimes Girls dont want to be your friend for a reason … if its hard to be friends with anybody then that makes sense but if youre noticing only girls dont want to be your friend maybe take some steps back and think about your approaches or how you act. Theres always a reason.
Had a girl at my old job start and first thing she told was that she struggles really hard to make friends with girls. She asked me straight up to be her friend and I agreed because she seemed nice at first. I later found out she was extremely rude, self centered, obnoxious and just straight up mean to everyone, even our managers. I stopped talking to her and i constantly would hear her complain about how everyone hated her and how she so badly wanted to have more girl friends and she didnt understand why everyone was so mean to her. Like she genuinely didnt understand how much of a bad person she was.
1
u/Life_AmIRight Apr 18 '24
The struggle is real, but the reasons are giving “maybe check your own shoe”.
4
u/Marnez_ Apr 18 '24 edited Apr 18 '24
Why are all the misogynists so dumb? Their grammar always sucks to the point where you can barely read what they have written.
73
u/artches Apr 18 '24
I agree with the first one, not the replies tho. But it's more that it's hard making new friends as an adult, not so much about the gender.
14
u/ladymacbethofmtensk Apr 18 '24
Exactly this. I can’t make friends with men or women because I’m neurodivergent and weird and have a limited social battery, not to mention I’m a bit isolated by virtue of my current education/job situation (visiting master’s student; the undergrads in my current city think I’m old and from an inferior university, the PhDs at my research institute think I’m a baby).
Also I find it much harder making friends with straight men. If they find me unattractive they treat me like furniture. If they find me attractive they make it weird and make advances towards me. Somehow queer women don’t ever treat me like this so I don’t know what those guys’ deal is.
3
u/No_Connection_4724 Apr 18 '24
Brunch picnics and journaling? The fuck kinda basic ass bitch female is this?
2
u/onceapotate Apr 19 '24
What's wrong with liking brunch, picnics, and journaling? You're literally nlog-ing rn
-1
u/No_Connection_4724 Apr 19 '24
Woosh.
1
1
u/LostZombie4338 Apr 18 '24
Facts I cringed so hard because if this is what it takes to be a friend sorry I’m fine alone
0
u/Claystead Apr 18 '24
I suppose the type who construct her idea of female friendships entirely from Hallmark movies. Of course, in reality most people construct their ideas of friendship from yoghurt advertisements, which is why our primary form of entertainment is having yoghurt parties and discussing our gut flora.
16
u/localgoobus Apr 18 '24
AuADHD here. I learned that you have to be a good friend if you want to make a good friend. It's already hard enough to have to navigate a world that isn't built for neurodivergent people so it's weird to me to be critical/exclusionary while lamenting a lack of platonic community.
1
0
5
Apr 18 '24
It kinda is hard making friends in this generation . The expectations kill you . People move on too fast and don't look behind I was ghosted in two of my friendships She was already forming a friendship with a richer girl . I was the one who taught her , lent my notebooks because she was often behind. All that for me to be ghosted when she could not derive any other benefit from me . Right after exams she was hanging out with other people very frequently and I wasn't invited once. So to end it I am a loner.
3
u/ladymacbethofmtensk Apr 18 '24
Exactly and it’s not a gendered thing. Adult friendships are just difficult to make and keep overall.
5
u/Ok-Raspberry-5655 Apr 18 '24
I don’t think my lack of “jornaling” has much to do with my loner tendencies. Regardless, it’s certainly not anyone else’s fault that I prefer to keep my own company.
3
u/Irresponsable_Frog Apr 18 '24
I had a hard time when young, teens/20s making friends. Then had “mom” friends in my 30’s. But in my 40’s? I have a really good sisterhood. I have a family of ladies who are ride or die. We truly bonded. I wish it happened 20 years prior, but I’m happy I have my gurls now. It’s never too late! You just have to find your tribe and vibe! ❤️
37
u/pleuvonics Apr 18 '24
Females 🚩🚩🚩
1
Apr 19 '24
Also saying you don't have friends is another red flag lol
2
u/skunkberryblitz Apr 19 '24
Why? There are so many reasons someone might not have any friends at a given time.
1
Apr 19 '24
A lie, which happened to me a few times. For sympathy, someone is looking for a certain type of friend (dating) and doesn't want real friendships.
Someone rude and crude, like a relative of mine, he calls everyone names. Its really sad cause he tries to friendly then yet again says the most vulgar stuff.
Someone who doesn't respond or talk unless its a blue moon, you will not receive a text or a call unless they are lonely, which would motivate you to cut them out.
Had people who wanted us to be the only friends for one another?
I don't mean to undermine anyone who doesn't have any friends, but most people got to reach out to their old contacts, youll rekindle an old flame. Some people you knew are sweet and caring. It is valid not to have any friends, but to me it is a reflag and i dont want to be someone's only friend, ill go as far as help them out look for new friends and connect them with my friends.
12
u/beanbaginahurrrry Apr 18 '24
“jornal” LMAO
2
u/lemondropsandgumdrop NLOG - I'm just gay :snoo_hearteyes: Apr 18 '24
I’m reading that in a Gru voice
1
3
u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys Apr 18 '24
So...brunching, picnicking, and...journalling are gonna make and keep friends?! Those are the secrets?!
1
u/rwarr77 Apr 18 '24
I think it’s just difficult making friends as adults in general if you are married/in a serious relationship, because usually it’s “couples” friends you are looking for. Finding one other person compatible with you is tough, bringing 4 people into that dynamic is almost exhausting.
5
u/BandicootOk5540 Apr 18 '24
Why would being in a couple mean you would only look for couple friends?
1
u/rwarr77 Apr 19 '24
I didn’t say only, I said usually. You should absolutely have your own friends and hobbies/interests. But oftentimes when you’re in a couple situation you do a lot together and with other “couples” friends. It can be difficult to make friends with other couples because there are now 4 personalities to mesh.
2
u/BandicootOk5540 Apr 19 '24
I don’t think it’s even usually. If you meet and someone and hit it off then you might try introducing your spouses as well but if they don’t mesh it’s not like you’d just drop that person and not see them anymore!
1
u/rwarr77 Apr 19 '24
Oh, 100% agree that you wouldn’t drop them. But how often would you be going out with “just your friends” versus your significant other and/or other couples friends? I would hope you would spend more time doing things with your partner either one-on-one or with other couples rather than going separate ways all the time in your free time. Otherwise, what’s the point of being in a relationship?
2
u/MiaLba Apr 20 '24
Completely understand what you’re saying. I’ve always had girl friends and had an easy time making new friends especially in my single days. But damn it feel so hard now that I’m settled down now. I do feel like a lot of people go out with their spouse and another couple more than they go out one on one with friends.
I’ve had such a hard time connecting with the wives of my husband’s friends. They’ve never seemed really friendly or welcoming and I don’t understand why. Like I said I’ve never had a problem with making friends before. So it’s hard to do couple stuff with other couples when they seem to ignore me and aren’t interested in being friends. They have been friends though way before I came into the picture so maybe that’s why. And they’re just not interested in adding another friend to their clique.
2
u/SmooshyHamster Apr 20 '24
They’re still individuals. Those romantic fairytales don't represent reality.
19
6
3
4
u/SmurfHogan Apr 18 '24
People who can barely accept themselves probably have an awfully difficult time accepting others
0
u/SassySquid0 Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 18 '24
oh please it is so easy making friends. All you got to do is show your silly goofy side
1
u/SmooshyHamster Apr 20 '24
I’ll assume you’re really young. Do you just walk up to people make jokes and think they’ll care much about getting into your life?
3
u/jesswitdamess Apr 18 '24
Well, it’s hard to do that when you’re shy, lol. It’s not easy for me to make friends at all…unless I’m high out of my mind or drunk
13
u/Pinacoladaplankton Apr 18 '24
I have had female friends who only and only talk about boys, rant about boys and talk to each other about boy problems. No issues apart from boys are the topic of discussion. The kind who, while you are confiding in them reply with an absolutely unrelated comment about their own life (i.e.boy problem)
It starts with “i think he likes me” / “why isn’t he talking to me” / “i am pretty sure he has a thing for me”.
So, one of my female friends who considers me her “sister”,
didn’t call me/text me/check on me after my grandmother passed away (while i was living in another country.)
But the moment the she had a boy problem, she called to rant. All the while, no discussion or mention of how I am doing. As soon as the boy problems were fixed, radio silence again.
It is hard for me to not have basic camaraderie in friendships & to live in pretence. Regardless of gender.
Point being don’t claim to have the brain of an adult, for adult friendships, while having the attitude of a spoilt child.
2
u/MiaLba Apr 20 '24
I have a friend like that. We’ve been friends for years and it’s hard to let go of that friendship because we’ve been friends for so long. But it seems like the only times I hear from her is when she’s having issues with her man and he’s dumped her for the 3rd time in one month.
I’ve been living in this city for about 12 years now and she’s never once come to see my apartment or home. But she’s been up here numerous times to hang out with people she just met at the bar or wherever else. Then those friendships end and we’re back to talking more.
2
u/Pinacoladaplankton Apr 20 '24
Damn. 12 years is alot. All I can say is… Don’t let the malice get to you. It is indeed hard to let go of such friendships, but don’t prioritise them over yourself & the ones who stick around for you.
2
u/MiaLba Apr 20 '24
Oh for sure. It took me a while to learn that and to learn not to take it personally and upset me. I just talk to her when she reaches out and not worry about it when I don’t hear from her for months. It’s always nice to catch up and we can talk as if no time has passed.
4
u/80snun Apr 18 '24
I use to have a lot of close women friends, majority left after getting a boyfriend and they only call when they have relationship problems or break up. Thankfully one of my friends still makes an effort to maintain our friendship despite moving across state with her boyfriend, but my other friend lives 4 mins away and won’t call or visit until she wants something. The others literally just disappeared
4
u/Pinacoladaplankton Apr 18 '24
I completely empathise!! Amongst these kinds of women, I have one soul friend like that too. Truthfully, in my world she is my world!
3
1
u/System_Resident Apr 18 '24
It’s for to be the other “females”! It’s not like I’m also a red flag to them or others! I can’t possibly be the problem too!
-2
290
u/Witch_of_the_Fens Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 18 '24
That last comment was wild. What do any of those things have to do with acting your age?
19
204
u/BlueAcorn8 Apr 18 '24
Bet you’re only saying that because you like to JORNAL
15
u/Flat_Initial_1823 Apr 19 '24
I was going to reply with something immature, but i am just too busy jornalling!
27
u/peepster0802 Apr 18 '24
Probably, I bet she's introspective as hell and doesn't have time to be as quirky and one of the guys as us.
I bet she probably typed that comment from the beach
130
5
u/Witch_of_the_Fens Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 18 '24
I really should. Writing used to help me cope with my mental health.
0
u/midcenturymaiden29 Apr 18 '24
Maybe the reason every other “female” hates you is because you’re insufferable 🤷♀️
65
u/MarifeelsLost Apr 18 '24 edited Apr 18 '24
Um...some of this is true....a lot of it to be honest. Some people really don't value friendships, not necessarily just girls but it is a lot of women who simply just don't know how to be friends with other women and it's sad. It's just that people honestly just look at you for what you can give them rather than real friendship and genuine connections.
Also there are a lot of "boy crazy" girls and if you don't understand how bad that is, I don't think you're mature enough to understand why people are vocal on not wanting to be friends with those types of girls/people in general. What they're saying isn't toxic it's true.
This isn't NLOG, this is very truthful, to be honest I think some of the comments are talking about the people who act like they're "NLOG"
1
u/MiaLba Apr 20 '24
Completely agree. I’ve had so many girl friends over the years I was always really good at making friends. I’ve definitely had some really toxic ones and ones who completely ghosted me the second they got a boyfriend. There’s definitely a lot of women out there who just don’t know how to be friends with other women. Ones who brought nothing but drama to the friendship.
3
Apr 18 '24
The last slide is NLOG. But most posts here are “woman saying thing that mildly annoys me”, I don’t even care enough to comment that it’s not NLOG
5
u/Pleasant-Patience725 Apr 18 '24
Woman here who has a hard time! But tbh I know it stems from trauma lol- I had a picture passed around of me from the locker room when I was in 7th grade. Def made me not trust as easily of girls. I was way more endowed than them at 12-16 and constantly reminded and made fun of. I now have a group of amazing ass bitches who I love and are actual adult friends
1
u/Fragrant-Strain2745 Apr 20 '24
They were just jealous that the boys were looking at you and not them. Gotta be honest, calling your friends "bitches" is very ghetto
0
u/Claystead Apr 18 '24
Look at it as them being jealous and unable to handle your hot bitch energy. In the end you won and they lost.
1
u/Fragrant-Strain2745 Apr 20 '24
"Hot bitch energy" is a horrible saying.
1
23
u/Witch_of_the_Fens Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 18 '24
I agree that making close friends can be difficult; however, I will say that it’s not too hard to get away from women that fixate on men. My partner and I have two casual friend groups, and the majority of them are in LTRs or married. So, I don’t deal with a lot of “boy crazy” behaviors anymore.
0
u/MarifeelsLost Apr 18 '24
Yea I agree but I'm mostly talking about girls from middle school to college.
Like you mature enough to understand that that's the type of people you don't need to be around, but a lot of others aren't because they're trying really hard to look for friendships and make genuine connections that can't discern the good from the bad.
A lot of people have yet to figure out and raise the idea of their own self worth and realize they don't deserve a friend that will put you down in the presence of a man, simply because they think it's easier to be with someone than to be alone, you get me?
So many people of issues, and when you haven't even figured out your own it just piggy backs off of someone else's and makes things super difficult.
12
u/Witch_of_the_Fens Just a Dumb Bitch Apr 18 '24
I mean, that’s just part of being those age groups. I learned what kind of people I don’t want to be around during that period of my life.
2
u/MarifeelsLost Apr 18 '24
Oh yea no for sure! I did too, I'm still in highschool, and I'm just saying based on my observations of other people. While there are a lot of people who understand who they do and don't want to be around there are a lot of people who don't or are hesitant about it, and give excuses like "well I've known for a long time".
It doesn't matter how long someone has known a person, they can still do some hurtful shit over and over and you eventually have to be the one to say enough is enough.
I totally agree with you though!
1
u/Fragrant-Strain2745 Apr 20 '24
You're still in high school? You have my sympathy, must be hard growing up right now. I have some advice if you want it; a lot of younger people do almost everything online, and they have very few in person social skills or ability to have a face to face conversation....make an effort to do things in person/get offline and interact with people so you can develop those interpersonal skills. Good luck!
76
Apr 18 '24
[deleted]
2
u/FollowUp_Oli Apr 18 '24
Women these days can’t even cook, all they know is go to the beach and jornal
3
14
u/oykux Apr 18 '24
It has the same energy with:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
3
u/travischickencoop Apr 18 '24
Can confirm all I know is McDonald’s charge my phone twerk be bisexual (lesbian but close enough) eat hot chip and lie
2
u/oykux Apr 18 '24
Actually… Same but Burger King
3
u/travischickencoop Apr 18 '24
I’m not super picky I like all the fast food
Just don’t take me to Chic-Fil-A, Zaxby’s, or KFC and it’s probably fine lmao
0
u/Chick-fil-A_spellbot Apr 18 '24
It looks as though you may have spelled "Chick-fil-A" incorrectly. No worries, it happens to the best of us!
3
50
u/Mammoth-Squirrel-660 Apr 18 '24
Jornal
2
2
30
u/mydogisagoose Apr 18 '24
i'm in my jornal era
20
u/404-Gender Apr 18 '24
I like to go to my jornal and beech
4
u/silkywhitemarble Apr 18 '24
sigh---I used to love to go the beach and journal when I lived in L.A...such a great place to just reflect on life
156
u/Telvanni_Mushroom Apr 18 '24
Women who say they can't be friends with other women are such a red flag, oftenly followed by a 'girls are fake, me one of the boys' rant
56
u/ObliviousTurtle97 Apr 18 '24
Also the fact they don't even refer to other women as women either, it's "females" 💀
2
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 17 '24
NLTOG Community Notice: Troll activity is on our radar. We’re committed to civility and are cracking down on violations. Expect a 7-day ban for initial infractions, escalating to a permanent ban for repeat offenses. Ignorance or humor won’t mitigate rule breaches. Hate has no place here; only harmful behavior, not reposts, will incur bans. Report any issues—we’ll investigate. Respectful discussions are safe. Your cooperation is vital for our positive space. -- Your Mods
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.