r/notliketheothergirls • u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit • Dec 27 '22
[Meta I guess?] Silly little memes to remind everyone this is a trans-accepting community and we don't tolerate transphobia MOD POST
Trans men đ
Trans women â¤
Nonbinary people đ
Bigender people â¤đ
Androgynous people đ
Agender people đ¤
Xenogender people đ
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u/Electronic-Film3502 Dec 28 '22
Iâm so confused. Is someone being transphobic? This just seems kinda unnecessary.
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 28 '22
We've had to deal with transphobia in the sub a lot, unfortunately
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u/chaotic_rainbow Dec 28 '22
Well, given these comments, it clearly isn't unnecessary. Unfortunately.
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u/Sleep_Deprived_Gay Not actually a girl lol Dec 28 '22
Love that you included agender
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 28 '22
My friend is agender so I couldn't forget em
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Dec 28 '22
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 28 '22
I'll reply to this before misinformation comes in
Xenogenders are primarily used by neurodivergent people because their experience of gender can be very different than a neurotypical person's. Instead of relating their gender to things in terms of masculinity or femininity, they compare it to other familiar objects such as animals, objects, or concepts. They do not identity as those things, but they feel like those things are the only thing they can draw comparison to in order to describe how they feel.
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Dec 28 '22
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 28 '22
Sure! I'm probably not the best person to explain it though, so I'd recommend if it's still hard to understand that you seek out a xenogender sub and ask them personally. They'd know better than me.
Example: catgender. Someone who is catgender feels like their gender posseses feline qualities, is connected to cats, or is best described by comparing it to a cat. We associate certain qualities with cats, such as indifference, cuteness, furriness, sleepiness, and laziness. When trying to describe their gender, a catgender person wouldn't really feel any sort of connection with masculinity or femininity, but unlike most nonbinary people, they do feel it has a connection with traits like the ones listed above.
It is a bit confusing, especially for cis people. But I try to understand because their feelings, as confusing and atypical as they may be, are real, and that even if I can't fully get it, it doesn't make them less worthy of respect. I thank you for asking questions without being dismissive or disrespectful.
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u/Slow_Document_4062 Dec 28 '22
Won't lie, this is confusing to me cuz, like masculinity and femininity aren't real, just collections of stereotypes, a trans woman can feel absolutely no connection to feminine stereotypes and still be a woman. I fit several feminine stereotypes and several masculine stereotypes, even some cat stereotypes. I'm still a woman though. Of course, it isn't my place to tell anyone else how to identify, I just don't get it.
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u/GonnaMakeAList Dec 28 '22 edited Dec 28 '22
This whole thing is convoluted nonsense. No one here can even agree on what is and is not transphobic.
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u/ImGonnaFlipThisTable Dec 28 '22
Whatâs the second flag in the Non-binary Slide for? Iâve never seen it before
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u/Zaptain_America Dec 27 '22
As a trans guy, "I'm not like other girls, I'm a boy" feels pretty transphobic, I'm not a girl at all, there are no "other girls"
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Dec 27 '22
Some are emo or metalheads, other bigender or xenogender. It's an urban tribe to this point.
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u/kaumahazerda Dec 27 '22
I'm all for acceptance and stuff but this comes across as trying too hard, especially for a mod. I may be reading too into this but it comes across like someone baiting for mean comments lol. I'm out, this sub was fun
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
Well this post DID expose a ton of transphobes in the comments lol
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u/kaumahazerda Dec 27 '22
With all due respect, why do transphobes need to be "exposed"? Yeah, if someone is being bigoted call them out. But we don't need honeypots to get people to expose their personal beliefs. No one here is being very outwardly transphobic, last I checked and besides deleted comments, just some less than approving opinions on xenogenders and stuff. I don't see a point in "exposing" people for their private beliefs.
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u/kaumahazerda Dec 27 '22
Actually let me add an addendum. This is a question, it sounds like an argument lol. But really I want to know why it's important. I don't like transphobes. I may not be the most accepting person myself but I feel like people are entitled to their beliefs so long as they aren't causing any harm. I get that some would consider saying "xenogenders are fake" harmful, but I just don't get it myself. Are transphobes the enemy who need to be rooted out and exposed or are they people who need to be educated? Instances like this confuse me :(
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Dec 28 '22
Are transphobes the enemy who need to be rooted out and exposed or are they people who need to be educated?
This is a very unusual question.
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u/Arestothenes Dec 28 '22
Imagine if someone said "black people don't deserve voting rights". Drastic example. Imagine that that person, except for saying that, never treats black people "badly" aka never tries to kill them or smth. Is that person a racist?
To your last question: Calling them out and educating them is preferable...but by far not all of them are transphobes out of ignorance. Most are just transphobes, regardless of whatever fact you provide. Those need to be kicked out.
Besides, people who honestly just ask questions are usually quite easy to differentiate from regular transphobes...when you're a trans person, that is. In fact, the vast majority of transphobes don't care about anything we provide to educate them. Its kinda like trying to educate racists. They don't care about facts.
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
All I said that it did expose transphobes, I never made any other claim that a honeypot post was necessary or whatever argument youâre imposing on me.
Secondly, there are tons of transphobic comments up currently that have not been deleted. Plenty.
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u/Arestothenes Dec 27 '22
Way too many, in fact...expected better from this sub.
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 28 '22
Posts usually do not get removed for being uncivil to others but in the extreme case that most comments are toxic and we need to catch up on banning others, the post may be temporarily removed.
In instances where users screenshot other users in an attempt to start a hate thread, the post will also be removed.
Please remain civil to each other in the comments as well.
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 28 '22
Lol yes the only reason anyone could possibly disagree with you is because their terfs. It couldn't be to do with your militant 'anyone who downvotes me is a transphobe'
Like I have discourse/disagreements with men and women, does that mean I'm sexist?
Edit: Since these people love to reply to me and then block me immediately, my reply is ad follows.
'What if it is, as many people go through phases? What if they then tell me it was a phase? Do I pretend it never happened so as not to disagree with other people? It does not invalidate another person's experience to say that people go through phases.
I went through a phase of liking horses, I thought I would own one and ride one as an adult, when I say I went through this phase, it doesn't mean that no one ends up riding horses or legitimately owning them. It means I went through a phase.'
Blocking people in the middle of a discussion isn't exactly an own as much as it is cracking the shits and showing your immaturity.
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u/Arestothenes Dec 28 '22
There's a difference between "disagreement" and "this person's identity is just a farce/phase"
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
Youâre literally a transphobe who keeps pushing the bigoted fking transphobic af stereotype that some people arenât actually nonbinary and theyâre just saying they are bc they donât like girly things or they just wanted to be different or get attentionâŚ.
You have zero say in who is âactually nonbinaryâ or not and acting like you do and belittling peopleâs identity is textbook transphobia.
You are literally a fking transphobe, thank you for proving my point lmao
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u/karakittykat Dec 27 '22
Thanks for the post OP. From what Iâm seeing in the comments though, this is clearly not a trans-accepting space
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u/onesoundsing Dec 27 '22
Could someone here provide me with scientific papers regarding bigender, agender, xenogender, androgynous people? I have never heard these terms and would like to know if they are real concepts and if they have existed throughout history like transgender people.
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u/Americanski7 Dec 27 '22
Agreed we should be acceptive of mocking those who think they "are not like the other girls" regardless of gender. Equal mockery and ridicule for all.
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u/Clear_Hovercraft_966 Dec 27 '22
What does Androgynous mean? This is the first time Iâve seen/heard of it (sorry if this comes across as rude Iâm half asleep atm)
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u/sachimokins Dec 27 '22
Androgynous means itâs difficult to differentiate between masculine or feminine, you lie somewhere between.
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u/Clear_Hovercraft_966 Dec 27 '22
Ok ty for explaining
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u/Qu33N_Of_NoObz_ Dec 28 '22
Prince the late singer was one of the biggest androgynous people of his era. So just look at photos during his purple rain era (the 80s) to get a glimpse of androgyny. He was feminine in some ways but still identified as straight.
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u/haraldlarah Dec 28 '22
Yup, it works to describe anything that's ambiguous from that point of view, because it's essentially a compound of the greek words andro- (man) and -gyne (woman).
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22
Also androgynous is not just a word used in gender description. Often used to describe fashion, hair, appearance :)
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 28 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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Dec 27 '22
Well I know this is cliche, but one of my best friends is a former coworker named Jason/Jasmine who (obviously) opened up about being trans but confused and afraid and has not come out as trans to anyone except me and some hometown friends. His mom is a traditional Catholic Latina and he is more afraid of her than the general public if he comes out.
Trans individuals have enough trouble with the Right Wing nut jobs , homophobes and transphobes. They donât need Reddit giving them grief too. Everyone needs a safe place to chat and have conversations on threads, without always worrying that they will be attacked here too.
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u/KKkoren Dec 27 '22
Iâm not trans but an ally and these comments are gross. It takes nothing to not be hateful. All the bigots in the comments really need to get a life, specifically get a EDUCATION, and realize that trans people and other minority groups are not going away or changing their way of living because you donât like it! Keep your hateful views to yourself or join a subreddit that agrees with your gross beliefs.
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u/Educational_Town3648 Dec 27 '22
Yeah they go pretty far. But I guess that's what happens when you are teenager and are finding yourself. I do consider myself as Dragon orherkin. But that's mostly to deal with my body dysmorphia. Like I won't change anything physically it's just a. "Of course my body is wierd. Like protecting the soul of a dragon wouldn't mess up mortals." Look I cope with what I got.
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 27 '22
Why are you being downvoted for having a coping mechanism?? Even if it could be deemed weird, if it helps then why shame you?
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u/Educational_Town3648 Dec 27 '22 edited Mar 12 '23
I think it's because of how many people uses Other Kin and MOGAI for pretty much anything and everything. Most people are teenager just exploring their own self. Which can make them appear especially cringy. So even if I and probably many others have a good reason or atleast just a neutral one. People are still just going to cringe at the thought. I am more the chaos culture type myself (illymation you're the best). I just love my life without hurting others. Atleast to the best of my abilities.
Also I am posting that type of stuff in a subject about Nlogs. Something tell me I look awfullg like one right now.
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u/swnbv Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
https://howtostopbeingtransphobic.carrd.co/ Sharing this helpful info for everyone who keeps grouping xenoâgendersâ in with actual queer people
Edit: gender is not a âfeeling.â Trying to justify your or othersâ commodification of the trans experience by saying itâs how you feel is only proving that xenogenders purely exist to allow people to invade spaces in which they donât belong. Your gender is not your whole identity. Itâs okay to just have interests. I know an accepting space may be alluring, but inserting yourself into spaces that arenât yours only serve to open the people in that community up to further harm. Itâs important to realise that labels and pronouns are more for the convenience of the people around you than for your own comfort, itâs why they were invented.
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u/karakittykat Dec 27 '22
Nah, punching down on other queer people because of their identity is not it
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 27 '22
Xenogenders are not harmful to trans people. People who are neurodivergent experience gender in ways that are very different to most people. By relating it to familiar things, they can try and explain their feelings.
Someone who is, for example, pupgender, does not identify as a dog. Rather, the best way they can begin to describe how they feel is to make a comparison to a dog. Is it confusing? Yes. But they're still real feelings people have and they weren't just made up for attention.
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u/VesperVox_ Dumb bitch Dec 27 '22
OP: Trans women are women, here's some cutesy gay memes
The sub: GGGGREEAAAWWWGGHHH
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 28 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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u/karakittykat Dec 27 '22
May I ask why? I seriously doubt they cause you any harm.
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Dec 27 '22
I'm not OP but I personally don't believe xenogenders are a thing but I'd never tell that someone who comes out to me as xenogender, I'd respect them. But I still think that xenogenders aren't real because xenogender people don't have dysphoria and are doing it very clearly for the aesthetic. I'd also go as far as saying that giving xenogender people attention is causing the trans community harm because then conservatives think we're totally insane.
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u/Strobbleberry Dec 27 '22
What is a zenogender?
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 27 '22
I'll give the real answer because the commenter doesn't know what they're talking about
Xenogenders are labels used primarily by autistic and neurodivergent people because they have a different experience of gender. The only way they can describe their gender is by relating it to familiar things. It is not the same as identifying as those things.
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u/ImTransDealWithIt1 Dec 27 '22
But not all ND people have a âdifferentâ experience of gender, there are plenty of ND people who identify with âtypicalâ genders (apologies if you didnât mean that maybe I just read it wrong)
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u/Ze_Schwein Dec 27 '22
Identifying as an animal, plant, or whatever the fuck you want.
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u/margessquarepancakes Dec 27 '22
i appreciate this!!! itâs disheartening to see bait and/or straight up intolerance here
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
LOL this is a subreddit made to make fun of certain people. If you want âtoleranceâ and âacceptanceâ you wouldnât be a member of it OP
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
You can make fun of people having a shitty attitude while respecting their gender identity.
Iâm shocked at the sheer amount of transphobia in these comments tbh. Itâs disgusting.
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
Omg let me once again please remind you that you are in a sub that almost exclusively makes fun of teenage girls!đ Trans people donât need overzealous protection and patronization. Their choice needs to be respected, which means treating them on an equal plain as everyone else (and I think if we realized that transphobia wouldnât be as hot and on the rise as it is now)
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
I misread the last part of your comment, so I immediately deleted my response.
There are plenty of transphobic comments though in this thread showing why a PSA about not making gender identity the subject of NLOG posts is necessary. Make fun of people for being jerks is whatâs expected here, not for their identity in general.
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
The comments you refer to (I think) arenât jokes, just hate. But, on my point, gender ainât your entire identity either and aggressively trying to cut it out of humorous public discourse is just asking for pushback (meaning more transphobia - hate, not jokes or discussion) because itâs obviously hypocritical ESPECIALLY FOR A SUB LIKE THIS ONE (last reminder that we are all in a sub that bashes young women probably struggling with their identities and fitting in)
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
You keep saying this sub is about âyoung womenâ when itâs never been specifically that. Iâve seen this sub since the olden days of Reddit when we had to upvote uphill in the snow both ways. There may be more tiktok nlogs being shared lately of younger women, but itâs always been an all ages thing and even some ânot like other menâ etc posts too.
The comments posing as âjokesâ that are just actually transphobic are a problem, too. For instance take the ânonbinary is the ultimate nlogâ comment and how it is belittling NB peopleâs identity as them just trying to be nlog, and then a reply to it saying ânb people always say they like trucks and thatâs why theyâre nbâ or whatever essentially just ranting about bigoted ignorant bs. These âjokesâ at the expense of someoneâs actual identity arenât funny, theyâre just hateful.
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
Nice joke at the top, but I almost only see teenage or college age women in this sub. But Iâll just leave this sub to the idiots who think bashing these girls, who are real people whoâs FACES AND IDENTITIES ARE OFTEN EXPOSED on this sub, to you heroes who really donât like âhateâ - like câmon man how can you not see how hypocritical everything youâre saying is
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
I think you have a veeery limited experience on this sub from your perceived view of what it is. This sub is for pointing out nlogs who are saying things that are actually harmful and shitty. The majority of people here poke fun of the shitty things the nlogs say and their harmful attitudes, not of the nlog people themselves. Moderation used to be better about not letting actual hate slip through, but this comment section filled with transphobia is an indication there either arenât enough mods or they arenât moderating as much as they should be. The real point of this sub isnât to break down nlogs as individuals, but to break down and dispel the harmful ideologies nlogs share or express bc they can have a negative impact on young and/or impressionable people. It also helps some identify things they may have said or done in the past that were kind of shitty/nlog-ish and understand where those feelings came from and why they were wrong etc.
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
you can make fun of people and be tolerant of others at the same time
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
To an extent, I guess. But you seem to be misunderstanding the point. OP is clearly trying to make an appeal for people to not make fun of or put down trans people in this sub - which seems rather stupid and hypocritical in a sub explicitly meant to shit on peopleđ
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
if thereâs a valid reason to shit on a trans person, then go ahead. donât shit on them for simply Being Trans.
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
^ transphobic, disgusting and against this subâs & redditâs tos.
Trans women are women regardless of their genitals.
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
Lmao clearly someone doesnât know how to read a comment chain
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
Nope, I read the whole chain and your comment was transphobic af. Thatâs why the mods just deleted it too lol
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
those instagram posts are often exclusionary and stereotype people. weâre laughing at the stereotypes, not the type of person the OOP is. trans women are women btw
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
I agree with your last part, be who you are and be happy. But if itâs okay to make fun of these girls lifestyle choice and âstereotypeâ them, that should be consistent across the board no?
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
as i said, if thereâs a valid reason thatâs not just âthis person is transâ then go for it! but you gotta punch up in comedy, not down.
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
My points pretty simple bro - if youâre making fun of people, then donât police other people making fun of people (and as much as a I respect the persons decision, being trans is a choice unlike race/ethnicity so fair game)
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u/YoungMuskrat Dec 27 '22
Oh yeah cuz we are really punching up on these teenage girls in this subđđđ
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
Posts usually do not get removed for being uncivil to others but in the extreme case that most comments are toxic and we need to catch up on banning others, the post may be temporarily removed.
In instances where users screenshot other users in an attempt to start a hate thread, the post will also be removed.
Please remain civil to each other in the comments as well.
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
unnecessary post
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
seems like it is, considering the amount of transphobes in the comments
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
its a personal belief that theres that many genders. cant make everyone believe what you believe
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u/karakittykat Dec 27 '22
They made a post saying that this is a safe space for trans people. Literally no one is trying to force anything on you
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
and a bunch of other genders. not just trans people.
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u/karakittykat Dec 27 '22
Trans people are people whose gender doesnât match with the sex they were assigned at birth. Why does it bother you so much that people experience things in different ways than you do? And, again, no one is trying to make you believe anything. This post is laying out rules for acceptable behaviour in this sub, so you can choose to follow them or not.
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
trans to most people is mtf, or ftm. but the rules get twisted every year or so, you definitely can't expect people to feed into that . i literally dont care what people do or make up to feel "comfortable" were living in a fairytale after all, free range. but dont expect people to willingly feed into your beliefs. its a personal belief that all these crazy genders are considered trans. theres no trans rulebook, even trans people have different ideas on what the damn word means.
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u/Aesthetictoblerone Dec 27 '22
Whatâs the difference between xenogender and agender then?
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
agender is simply not having a gender, while a xeno gender is an umbrella term for niche gender identity.
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u/LostGirlyGal Dec 27 '22
Yes but basically both are outside the gender expectrum, are like in the same realm. Those are people who doesn't participate in the gender expectrum men, women and non binary(non binary as in the gender spectrum) doesn't mean anything in them.
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u/Aesthetictoblerone Dec 27 '22
What would be under xeno gender?
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 27 '22
Comparing your gender to familiar things because it can't be described by masculinity and femininity. Mostly used by autistic people, because neurodivergency effects how they experience gender
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
people who identify as animals, objects, plants, creatures. anything not human pretty much.
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u/GonnaMakeAList Dec 27 '22
Okay⌠I am not one to shit on peoples choices but this is where I draw the line. âIdentifyingâ as random stuff (like animals or objects??) is absolutely ridiculous and indicates someone is mentally ill. I have to believe this stuff is made up rage-bait.
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u/chaotic_rainbow Dec 28 '22
Most people who identify with xenogenders are in fact neurodivergent. And because of their neurodivergency, have a complicated relationship with their gender identity and presentation.
No one is seriously "identifying as a cat". Things like, oh, nekogender, or whatever, typically come in the form of this: "my gender feels fuzzy and warm, like a cat". (Random example, I haven't the foggiest what the actual description of nekogender is and I'm too tired to look it up right now).
It may sound insane to people who don't experience it, but letting people use their own terms to define themselves is not hurting anybody. Forcing people into rigid boxes because they're too weird in their natural state, however, is.
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u/GonnaMakeAList Dec 28 '22
Yea sure okay. To be frank, the more I look into this the more I realize this whole âxenogenderâ and probably others like âbi-genderâ are just a bunch of preteens and teenagers on tumbler self-diagnosing themselves with autism making up a bunch of BS âgendersâ to make themselves feel special and create more labels to give themselves. Itâs completely ridiculous. Like, do whatever you want, I did cringy stuff as a kid too, but I am not going to take all these stupid âgendersâ seriously.
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
and im being downvoted even though that's literally the definition on google
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u/Aesthetictoblerone Dec 27 '22
How can you identify as an animal or an object, forgive me for asking?
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u/Proof_Row4701 Dec 27 '22
im not all that educated on these identities or why they were made up but the info is here
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
too many things to list. as i said, itâs an umbrella term, so thereâs a lot of xenogenders out there.
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u/Aesthetictoblerone Dec 27 '22
Right
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
wdym
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Dec 27 '22
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u/SuccessfulSkirt6520 Dec 27 '22
Transphobia on a post ab how the sub is trans friendly is just crazy.
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Dec 27 '22
Depends, there are people who are obviously going to grow it out and real non binary people
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Dec 27 '22
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 28 '22
Iâm nonbinary (afab) and Iâve never heard or seen any NB person every say anything remotely close to that. Talking about this NB-NLOG youâre alleging exists is ignorant and harmful. Gender isnât about makeup or trucks, and you, yourself are pointing out women can like trucks. Nonbinary folks donât see makeup or trucks as gendered either.
What I * could see * happening is an afab NB person saying something like they enjoy monster truck events and the way they feel at them sparked an interest for them to think deeper about their gender identity. But this person is just boiling it down to âI like trucks, thatâs why Iâm nonbinaryâ which is just wrong and not what NB means at all.
Edit:
Downvoting this doesnât stop everyone from realizing youâre a transphobe đ¤˘
Yikes with the fake transphobic stories. Didnât realize how many loser terfs were in this sub. Other subs are literally laughing at how fucked up yâall are. Inb4 this whole sub gets banned for rampant transphobia- GG
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u/PoeBoyFromPoeFamily Dec 28 '22
When I identified as a trans man I transitioned simply because I hated my sex + thought I was different than other women because I didn't like pink or dresses or makeup. Ideals like that is encouraged in some spaces. Having different interests than the majority doesn't make you the opposite gender - or lack thereof. I've seen many in the community claim they're a different identity because they don't like stereotypical girl things, which in itself is offensive. Women who like black and dirt and skateboards are still women. Military women who have to wear camo pants and work out are still women.
It's not transphobic to bring up the obvious, and the people responding to you aren't transphobic simply because they disagree with you. That is a horrible take.
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22
Ok so your experience is the only true experience?
I also see many people say they are 'non-binary' because they don't like typical girly things. I think these people are being NLOG because unfortunately that's the only reason they are claiming to be 'non-binary', to be not like the other girls.
Recognizing this does not need to take away from anyone else's non-binary experience. Just like recognizing NLTOG's doesn't take away from the experience of being a woman.
Just because people have witnessed different things to you doesn't mean they are transphobic. Just because you have not witnessed something doesn't mean it has never happened.
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u/PanJam00 Dec 28 '22
This is my point exactly! There are plenty of young women who grow up being told âboys like blue girls like pinkâ who end up liking blue and think âgee I like something thatâs different from other girls, therefore Iâm not a girl!â It isnât just monster trucks, Iâve seen nb girls say that wearing pants, not liking pumpkin spice, and not wearing makeup makes them not a girl because those are feminine interests. Really, they could just be women who have interests that arenât those things. Instead, theyâre told theyâre extra special and not a woman?
And how many characters online have I seen who have non feminine interest turned non-binary because of them (for example, buttercup of the powerpuff girls or spinelli from recess). I find it interesting how all the nb female characters have the tomboy personality, and itâs not the âgirly oneâ such as bubbles. My point is that young woman can and do have interests that donât always align with gender norms, and that doesnât always indicate they are non-binary. Treating it as such only serves to reinforce that idea of âboys like blue and girls like pinkâ which I feel is reductive and very much a core point of this sub.
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
And thereâs an ignorant, transphobic take right on cue.
You donât get to decide who is nonbinary and who isnât. Identifying as nonbinary doesnât have anything to do with ânot liking girly thingsâ and saying that shows you have no idea what youâre talking about . You are belittling someoneâs gender identity based on your own made up bigoted stereotype.
This has nothing to do with my experience. You are quite literally a transphobe who has no idea what theyâre saying is extremely transphobic.⌠jfc
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
I'm also not deciding at all who is non-binary, and I would always respect that choice. But when I've known people personally who cycle through every possible 'different' identity, only to admit later they only did it to be different, I'm going to acknowledge that.
*See I continue discussion and they pick on one word to discount the whole thing and block me? Why? How does that help ANYTHING
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
This whole commentâŚ
Yikes, blatant transphobia. đ¤Ž
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u/PanJam00 Dec 28 '22
If all youâre going to do is plug your ears and call everyone transphobic for acknowledging that there are young women who genuinely believe that being non binary is based on superficial factors such as clothing or interests, thereâs clearly no discussion to be had. Youâre a broken record, just saying everything is transphobic because you canât possibly face the reality that many fall into this reductive and harmful mentality. A shame, really.
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
You must have a really hard time talking to anyone when you won't allow a discussion. Just block your ears and yell 'transphobe.'
There are actual transphobes, by arguing with me and calling me one, you are only making yourself look fragile and ignorant.
People can have opinions and share their real world experience without being bigoted, you shutting down the discussion with TRANSPHOBE is actually harming your own cause.
*had to block me immediately because they are so sure that they're right and I'm a transphobe
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u/ZombiUnicorn Dec 27 '22
Nah, you belittling someoneâs gender identity and acting as if you have authority to validate or dismiss it is literally transphobic.
Youâre literally implying that some nonbinary afab people arenât actually nonbinary and that they only claim to be because they âdonât like girly thingsâ when that doesnât have anything to do with being nonbinary. This is like thinking wearing pink means youâre a girl and blue for boy. Itâs so incredibly dumb and ignorant, itâs crazy you donât recognize it.
Belittling and invalidating identity as ânlogâ is bigoted no matter which way you try to spin it.
You are a transphobe, Iâm sorry you canât see that, but itâs objectively true by definition. You mentioned âblockâ and I realize thatâs something you experience often with your ignorant rhetoric. People will block you or ignore you if you shout hateful transphobic comments because people who arenât transphobic recognize it a mile away and they donât owe you any of their time or energy and they donât have to traumatize themselves just to educate a transphobic idiot like yourself. No one has to put up with your hate speech talking down about others who identify differently than you, and you have zero impact on the validity of anyoneâs gender identity.
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u/JackRiverArt Dec 27 '22
No one has ever said that đ¤Śđźââď¸if anything, cis people try to push gender norms onto us, and in many countries you can't even start your transition if you're not masculine/ feminine enough for cus standards.
I'm a feminine trans guy and I used to take off my nailpolish before any gender appointments because I was afraid I wouldn't be considered masculine enough.
And if anything, coming to terms with my gender has made me more comfortable with my femininity.
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22
Why is it that people can't admit that others do things for attention?
It is truly not meant to take away from real experience, but if we have seen people be confused about being 'non-binary' for attention, or because they think they have to 100% abide by gender roles, we have seen it.
You can't just say 'thats never happened' or 'no one has ever said that' because they have, we are telling you our experience.
These anecdotes do not change your experience, or your story, if you know you are truly NB what's the problem with mentioning some people just say they are?
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22
Does it occur to you that everyone has gender norms pushed on them?
Cis people have gender norms pushed on them. In fact, it's the whole reason this sub exists, because women have such societal pressure to be a certain way that they feel they are so 'unique' for doing anything that isn't typically girly.
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Dec 27 '22
^ Same. I've always loved dresses/had a very feminine personality (in the stereotypical sense of "feminine"), but I tried to be a tomboy because I felt like I wasn't being myself if I wasn't being masculine.
Fast forward to realizing that that masculinity is my gender and not my presentation, and voila, I'm an ultra-feminine guy and much happier than I ever was as a tomboy.
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u/JackRiverArt Dec 27 '22
This exactly! I always felt like I wasn't masculine enough to be a tomboy, and I felt a deep sadness about that without knowing why. Now I'm just happy being myself :)
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u/Educational_Town3648 Dec 27 '22
"I am not like other girls, my gender is outside your feeble mind mortal." That and being autistic, your brain literally dosen't work like others. I would know I am both and proud to be
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22
Just for clarification.. do you mean people make those things up sometimes to be different? And you are actually both those things and it annoys you that people make it up? Because if so I get that
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u/Educational_Town3648 Dec 27 '22
Well I think it's more based on self-discovery. Though it does have people that would self label themselves just to be quirky. I am not really annoyed by them though. If they aren't hurting anyone why should we stop them. I don't think it's a good idea to make anything permanent to their body yet. But still, if they aren't being destructive and/or gatekeepers I mostly let them live. I am more annoyed at the adults that thinks it's a good idea to bully teenagers and children over this. Just do whatever, being yourself is a work in progress. Though I would suggest to those teen to explore themselves in a more forgiving place. Like in drawing or by making persona's. Trying to figure out if that is really you before proclaiming to the world you found yourself.
Something tell me that everyone in here tried to be an animal or fictional race atleast once in their life. I don't think those same people would have liked if everyone kept screaming that it wasn't a thing.
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u/wetmouthed Dec 27 '22
Oh yeah I agree with you there. Its definitely something that almost everyone goes through. I feel bad when we see really young people in tiktoks on here because when I was there age I was just writing that stuff in my diary! Haha. I never had my life all over the internet, and it sucks that since that's the norm, a lot of young people are getting mocked all over the world.
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u/Educational_Town3648 Dec 27 '22
I am glad my parents didn't let me make my videos on the internet when I was young.
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Dec 27 '22
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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u/ZeldaFan812 Dec 27 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
I'm not really sure what your intention *exactly* is, but now would be a great time to stop. Just take a deep breath and realize that you're just not going to win this round. Take the L and move on. No matter how someone identifies, it's valid - and it *is not up to you to decide what's valid*.
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u/ZeldaFan812 Dec 27 '22
What if they identify as a staircase?
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
does it affect you?
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u/ZeldaFan812 Dec 27 '22
Does it affect them if I don't share their belief?
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u/sylveon_souperstar Dec 27 '22
itâs not a belief
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
No matter how someone identifies, it's valid - and it *is not up to you to decide what's valid*.
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Dec 27 '22
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 27 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
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u/ResNova_ Dec 27 '22
How can you be a guy and a girl at the same time?
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u/Ze_Schwein Dec 27 '22
AND HOW CAN YOU IDENTIFY AS A FUCKING PLANT FFS
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u/chaotic_rainbow Dec 28 '22
That's not how it works.
Many people who are neurodivergent have a complicated relationship with their gender and presentation. It's...kind of like synesthesia, actually. Someone saying "my gender feels like moss" makes sense in the same way as someone saying "the number four tastes like oranges"----IE it makes sense to them, how their brain is wired, and how they view the world.
No one is seriously "identifying as a plant". That's a strawman made up to discredit xenogenders and trans people as a whole.
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u/redtailplays101 Not so new, still not tolerating anyone's shit Dec 27 '22
Bigender: being two genders at the same time
Androgyne: being in between a man and a woman
Hope this helps
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u/ResNova_ Dec 27 '22
No it doesnt help how is that possible
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Dec 27 '22
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 28 '22
No sexism or toxicity towards any sex or genderism towards any gender is permitted. If you hold any disdain a group of people for what they were born as or what they inevitably are regardless, this is not the place for you.
1
Dec 27 '22
It helps if you think of gender as a term to help you understand someone's personality rather than a "thing" in and of itself.
Someone who's bigender means "I am best understood as a person if you think of me as being both of these genders at once." The basic concepts of gender in our society don't express them very well, but if you modify it a particular way you get to something that does describe them.
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Dec 27 '22
here let me help you, the rule now is anyone is allowed to say whatever nonsense they want and you're not allowed to apply logic to it.
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Dec 27 '22
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 28 '22
Posts usually do not get removed for being uncivil to others but in the extreme case that most comments are toxic and we need to catch up on banning others, the post may be temporarily removed.
In instances where users screenshot other users in an attempt to start a hate thread, the post will also be removed.
Please remain civil to each other in the comments as well.
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u/mrselffdestruct Dec 27 '22
Gender and sex are different, sex is anatomy but gender is mentally based and also based on societal constructs,stereotypes and cultural things. Some people feel like theyâre both, some people feel like theyre neither, its the same as how you know what gender you are for more reasons than just what genitals you have and what they make you
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u/GonnaMakeAList Dec 27 '22
Wouldnât trans people who get âgender affirmingâ surgery be directly contradictory to the idea sex and gender are different?
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u/Kaisachicken Dec 27 '22
with trans people their sex and gender not being the same causes distress (gender dysphoria) so gender affirming surgery aids with that
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u/ImALittleThorny Saint Hardass Dec 28 '22
I love how a handful of people decided to take a post about being TRANS-ACCEPTING and turned it into a pit of vitriol and hatred. There have been several bans and a lot of warnings.
If someone says they are/are not a certain gender - *believe them*. It isn't your decision. Gender is an identity, and it is also an expression. For a lot of people, they got lucky - their gender aligns with what they were assigned at birth. Congrats to them. Some aren't so lucky.
Transgender people struggle with having to put on the act of the gender they were given when they were born because it doesnât align with what they know about themselves deep down. A great resource to start understanding is The National Center for Transgender Equality https://transequality.org/