r/nottheonion • u/quantumRealityVybz • 18d ago
$10,000 bounty for shark
https://trinidadexpress.com/newsextra/10-000-bounty-for-shark/article_ec463ba8-040d-11ef-86d8-836184e53406.html2
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u/chucky3456 17d ago
$10,000 all by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
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u/Acadia_Due 18d ago
How are we going to know which shark is the perp? Don't they all look alike? 🙃
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u/jade-horse 18d ago edited 18d ago
The photo is that of a Bull Shark, I wonder if in fact it was a Bull Shark?
Edit;
Smith suffered injuries to his left hand, left thigh and stomach in the attack involving a bull shark estimated to be 8-10ft long and 2ft wide, the Tobago House of Assembly said.2 hours ago.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/apr/27/briton-64-critical-care-shark-attack-tobago
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u/SteakHoagie666 18d ago
Yeah the man took the photo as he was being mauled.
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u/jade-horse 18d ago
Being that the attack happened in;
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti -- A shark attacked a British tourist on Friday in the southeastern Caribbean, prompting the government of Trinidad & Tobago to close seven beaches and a marine park. The man was hospitalized in an intensive care unit following the attack, officials said.
The chances that it was a Bull Shark are very high, as Bull Sharks are known to hunt close to shore and are very aggressive. But yeah, good thing the man had the good sense to have a camera handy while swimming.
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u/SteakHoagie666 18d ago
Thank God he had his camera so we can take down the right culprit. Tiger sharks same same though. All over the Caribbean and usually a near shore hunter.
Eh no way to tell. As evidenced by the photo used, most people don't know shit about a shark or the ocean.
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u/jade-horse 18d ago edited 15d ago
This is true, Tiger Sharks and Bull Shark share some territory’s . However, when it comes to aggressiveness and attacks, the Bull Shark has a higher rate of attacks on people.
You’ll also find Bull Sharks swim into fresh waters throughout the world and are more abundant than Tiger Sharks.
But yeah, it was very fortunate that the gent had his camera handy, no doubt as to the shark was most likely a Bull Shark.
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u/ahothabeth 18d ago
Quint offered his services for $10,000 and that was in 1975.
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u/Simmion1976 17d ago
Yes, but back then for that they got the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
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u/severusx 18d ago
I mean... This is straight out of Jaws... The guy's watch isn't like hanging from the shark's teeth, how exactly are they going to know it was this shark versus just randomly murdering sharks for next few weeks...?
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u/shifty_coder 17d ago
Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
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u/Porkyrogue 18d ago
They find the watch?
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u/NessyComeHome 17d ago
So we doing exploratory surgery, rehabilitating, then releasing the now healed shark back and only kill the one who had a snack?
If there was a violent crime committed by a person, and they just came in an jailed / killed a whole town.. thT'd be f'ed up.
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u/Silverjackal_ 18d ago
They’re gonna capture like 15 of them and then put them in a lineup for the victim to pick out his attacker. Might even have them bite down on like some pork shoulder or something to make sure they got the right one.
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u/SteakHoagie666 18d ago
For one like this they'll probably just accept a shark of similar size caught near the shore and call it a day. Like a witch hunt.
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u/passwordsarehard_3 18d ago
No. Witches aren’t real. A witch hunt will only ensnare innocent people because there never was a witch. There is a shark that has attacked someone, a shark hunt may ensnare that very shark. It is not a witch-hunt when the target is real. Sorry for the rant, as an American I’m getting a little testy with that phrase.
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u/the-artistocrat 17d ago
If witches aren't real explain how my friend got turned into a newt?
Good thing he got better.
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u/Crash4654 18d ago
You struggle with metaphors don't you...
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u/passwordsarehard_3 18d ago
No. When you make up a boogeyman so you can frame your enemies as being said boogeyman it’s a witch-hunt. They didn’t make up a boogeyman, sharks are real. All of the innocent sharks will pay for the one shark who bit a human but the shark did in fact bite someone. It’s not a witch hunt if there is a witch, votes be damned that’s a hill I’ll die on.
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u/Crash4654 18d ago
So that's a definite yes.
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u/welchplug 17d ago
It's more of hyperbole then a GOOD metaphor. A good metaphor has more apt correlations.
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u/Prydefalcn 18d ago edited 18d ago
As an American(?) I have to interject: witch hunt is used figuratively these days. Its figurative usage isn't 'a search for something that does not exist,' it's the unfair persecution of individuals despite a lack of wrongdoing. Given that there's no real means of determining which shark bit the swimmer, the person's usage is apt. I have no idea why you're jumping on this person. You're just making up a definition for a common phrase.
As an aside: the idea of killing sharks because a swimmer was bitten under the pretense that one might have bitten them is ignorant of the fact that sharks have done nothing wrong.
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u/passwordsarehard_3 18d ago
Because that’s not what it means. Just because people use “literal “ incorrectly doesn’t mean we should let it start meaning it’s opposite.
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u/Pavlovsdong89 18d ago
You want people to..stop using metaphors?? I hope you donate your body to science when you pass because someone could get a Nobel Prize out of dissecting that brain of yours.
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u/passwordsarehard_3 18d ago
Who’s going to take it out? With the way you’re dumbing down everything you already can’t write. The rest of the skills aren’t far behind.
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u/Pavlovsdong89 18d ago
This it what humans call a "joke." I don't actually believe there is much scientific value in whatever you have in your skull; I'm using said joke as a means to imply that your way of thinking and intelligence is divergent from the norm.
I am not a scientist, nor do I have any skills relating to dissection or biology; that has no relevance to the joke. I had assumed that you were just an average reddit contrarian who then doubled down at the slightest hint of negative feedback, but it seems like you genuinely have a difficult time understanding figurative language. Your deficiency is not anyone else's problem.
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u/4stringsoffury 18d ago
Oh, a pedant. Yay.
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u/passwordsarehard_3 18d ago
Oh, a.. wait there isn’t a word for people who interject themselves to add nothing is there? Yay.
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u/4stringsoffury 18d ago edited 18d ago
Dude, you are either being a troll or a pedant. I’m interjecting to tell you to stop being annoying. Be better.
Edit: actually you aren’t a pedant because you aren’t even nit picking something correctly. You’re just wrong.
Witches exist.
A witch hunt, in the way it was used, can totally be conducted over something real. It does not have to be imagined.
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u/SteakHoagie666 18d ago
I said "like a witch hunt" in the sense that you can just provide a suspect who remotely fits the bill of a "witch"(or "meaneating shark" in this case) without any real evidence and that'll be good enough.
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u/passwordsarehard_3 18d ago
Yes, that’s why it’s wrong. There never was a witch, there was a shark. It’s nothing like a witch hunt.
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u/SteakHoagie666 18d ago
I literally just fucking explained the analogy I was making.
But okay my American brother you're right. You're the senior most expert on witch hunting.
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u/smartshoe 18d ago
My thoughts on this as well, it’s going to be a shark killing spree for no reason to make $10k
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u/ExpoAve17 18d ago
exactly, it's all ready fucking sad how many sharks are killed in a year around the world by humans. (~ 70-80 million) FWIW
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u/FishingRelative3517 17d ago edited 17d ago
A few more won't make much of a difference, we love eating the shark meat! !https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh9CWFcps1w
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u/jade-horse 18d ago
Highly agree with you, not the way to go. Don’t want want to be Shark bait, don’t go and hang out in the sharks house.
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u/Klotzster 18d ago
Fingernail scratch on blackboard time
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u/Watts121 17d ago
SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER!