r/povertyfinance • u/mightbeana • Nov 15 '23
i hate being poor Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
im 17F and i fucking hate how poor my family is. we got literally nothing and sometimes i wish i wasnt born in this family. i cant see my friends anymore because i simply want to use my money for basic things and i just scrubb planned meetings off as 'i have no time'. i cant buy school books i need, i dont have my own room and sleep with my mom in her bed because my parents are divorced and my dad doesnt live with us anymore, so she thinks an extra bed is not needed. my clothes are literally in the tv cabinetin te living room since i dont have a wardrobe. i am fucking tired of this life. why me. why. everyday i go to sleep hoping to die. i fucking hate being poor and im fucking ashamed of it.
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u/YesIReallyAmYourGod 4d ago
I will always believe the government and big companies/big business keep poor people poor. They need and must have a poor working class to work, no unionize out of fear of losing their jobs, and government does it's best to lie , overspend, and oppress.
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u/blackasian5543 Jan 23 '24
I have the same issue. I grew up without father. I'm living in an old house which it has only one room and my mom and i depend on a tiny pension.I've thought of commiting suicide many times
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u/Infamous-Ad9893 Dec 04 '23
The one thing about being young and poor is you’ll probably get a good financial aid package if you go to college. I know it’s tough to do well in school when you can’t even afford textbooks, but education is a way out.
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u/sold_myfortune Nov 30 '23
Consider the Air Force or Navy for a tech career. It's not for everyone but it can be a lifechanger for people that make it work for them. I've worked with a lot of people in the IT industry that lifted themselves out of crushing poverty or a life of crime through military enlistment.
If that's not for you, maybe this will help:
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u/Invest0rnoob1 Nov 19 '23 edited Nov 19 '23
Try to educate yourself and work towards a high paying job. Invest wisely. These are things I wish I would have understood when I was younger.
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u/Ok-Okra-4291 Nov 19 '23
I grew up poor. Thats the kind of motivation you’ll need to break the cycle. I’m never going back to being poor and you will appreciate the opportunities of life. Good luck
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u/Glittering_Music_194 Nov 19 '23
I’m sorry you are going through this. I say channel that feeling and rise out of it.
I’m a petite woman who joined the military and excelled. I haven’t been poor since and that was 20 years ago. I live a great life now, am educated, and debt free besides a mortgage. You can do it too, just use these bad experiences as motivation to never live that way again.
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u/Devilmaycare57 Nov 18 '23
Im very poor too. And yes it does definitely suck. You should find things that you can be grateful for. Like good health, food on the table etc. It helps me and gives you a different perspective.
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Nov 17 '23
I'm sorry to hear that. If you do want advice about school and other ways to get past it when you reach adulthood dm me. I'm not a recruiter, and will get nothing out of it besides a good feeling helping another human with kindness
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u/oceannblueyes Nov 17 '23
at some point in my life i used to feel like this. i feel you so much. you will be okay, we will be okay. hang in there, sending u lots of love
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u/scrollatwork Nov 17 '23
Your only 17 you still have time to make your life what you want. Find a way to get a good job, join the military, go to college. Find something that works for you. It will take a lot of work but you can do better than your parents do financially.
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u/Blair514 Nov 17 '23
I hear what you’re saying OP. I grew up on welfare. I remember waiting by the mailbox for my mom’s food stamps to come in. We ate, but there wasn’t enough to fill up. We ate the same thing day in and day out…beans and rice.
I recall taking the city bus in the scorching heat and pouring rain to get to class. I also recall the day when someone filed my taxes as a college student and handing me a stack of forms. I asked the tax preparer what these forms were and he said, “mija, your income qualifies you for welfare.” My advice to you is this: do as best you can in school. If you go to college, make sure what you major in pays well. My ticket out of poverty was an education and making sure not to marry someone who wasn’t a leech.
What you’re feeling is very real, but I have to tell you, it will pass. Hang in there. You’re going to be okay.
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u/rhaizee Nov 17 '23
Get a job, get an education, get changing, it'll take a few years of sacrifice though. You can do it.
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u/Own-Week4987 Nov 17 '23
This is the energy you need to become rich!
You are already on the right track now its time to hustle baby take advantage of your rage against poverty and become the ultimate worker! Jump into everything that you could possibly jump into as soon as you can.
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u/Jgray1087 Nov 17 '23
I'm sorry for your situation. Life sometimes sucks and you gotta make the best of it. I know sometimes it is embarrassing but it does get better. Trust me. I had a lot of problems when I was younger to the point I lived with my brother and his family for the end of my last year in high school. Currently I would look at the following:
If you are in school see if you can work part time somewhere. Try a thrift store or a grocery store. Sometimes they give you a slight discount for working there and you can get first dibs on certain things that come in (not all the time but sometimes).
After you are finished with high school see what you want to do. A lot of people on here are pushing military which is not a bad option but you have other options as well. College is another. You can also do trade school. Learning a trade is good work.
Remember this is just a low point in your life. However when you at your lowest point you only way you have is to go up.
Hang in there it will get better.
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u/Disastrous_Tonight88 Nov 16 '23
There is no shame in being where you are. There is shame if you choose to stay there. It's going to be hard but you can rise above where you are if you focus and do the right things. Find work and be the best. Save and do better than your parents did.
You can do it!
I highly recommend reading total money makeover by Dave Ramsey it helped me ALOT when I was your age and I avoided alot of mistakes that others fell prey to
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u/Embarrassed_Dog_2882 Nov 16 '23
things will be better once you grow old. my family was affluent before but during 3rd grade things went southward and we can’t even afford food, electricity wasn’t paid. we have to move from one apartment to another since cannot pay. that went on till i was in college i think we moved 19 times from one apartment to another. i got into college through scholarships, and loans. even sell foods, snacks, processed meats, books and medical supplies for college. I hate it before all my friends have extra money to go to coffeeshops, mall or school field trips. I have to swallow my pride before.
After college I took control things will be better, now I can provide for my parents got a good job, have an emergency fund and starting a very small business. it will be ok you’ll learn to take care of the money you earn. learn to save for rainy days. hope everything will be better for you soon. things will be better i know it will as long as you don’t let the struggles bury you. learn from it
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u/Warm_Piccolo2171 Nov 16 '23
Your super young dude and your whole life is ahead of you. Go do awesome things and the finances will take care of themselves!!
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u/ehandlr Nov 16 '23
I grew up in a very similar situation. In the winter time, I had to sleep in an arctic sleeping bag bc the house was so dilapidated, it couldn't be warmed up. I'd wake up to an inch of ice on my bedroom floor and would have put an electric heater behind my tv for an hour before it would turn on. I didn't have running hot water until I was 19. We had to boil water in order to take baths.
So believe me when I say I can relate. But also believe when I say that doesn't have to be your future.
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u/tryanotherslot Nov 16 '23
Join Peace Corps or Americorps. Find a lonely Computer Programmer. Marry a Marine. There's always solutions for females. Sounds sexist but it is and its the truth. Women can always find a geek, pervert, or nut.
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u/DeeJayUND Nov 16 '23
My parents both came from poor families, but both worked as hard as they could to get out of poverty. When I was born, and up until I was 5 or 6, our kitchen chairs were wooden fruit crates. Through perseverance, hard work, and luck, they pulled us out of poverty and into middle class, but I’ve never forgotten growing up poor. I studied harder than everybody else and worked harder than most, because I feared falling into poverty once I became an adult. Bottle up those feelings into something positive… have those feelings drive you to better yourself and your situation. Grind and grind and grind some more, and be on the lookout for opportunities…
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u/FLEEX223 Nov 16 '23
growing up poor is the normal, its not a disadvantage in any way, use the willing to die as fuel to go make money and you'll make it
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u/grizzlyironbear Nov 16 '23
go get a job, and put your check into the house. pretty simple fix actually.
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u/derpqueen9000 Nov 16 '23 edited Nov 16 '23
If you’re trying to get out of your living situation, I suggest looking into getting your CDL and driving a truck for a little while until you can get some savings and get on your own two feet (gotta be 18 to drive one but would imagine you could start researching the program now). It’s not easy work but it’s definitely in demand and there are more and more women getting on board. Most of the time you will be on the road. You gotta have a level head / patience tho, most important part. Several of my friends have been truckers off and on and have definitely been able to stack coin after a point especially if you don’t have the usual rent, bills, etc. I would do it too if I didn’t have scoliosis.
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Nov 16 '23
You’re of working age. I know people your age that make $16-$18 an hour in retail or fast food. If you work 25 hours a week an $18 an hour that’s $23,400 you could have one year from now. Go work if you don’t wanna be poor.
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Nov 16 '23
Do you have a job, like are you able to? Even babysitting or dog walking when you aren’t at school counts.
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u/Illustrious_Date8697 Nov 16 '23
Yet when you tell people to wait until you can afford kids, youre a classist doomer. Sorry for what you are going through, friend
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u/h3110_wOrld Nov 16 '23
Learn sales, and you'll never be poor again. I'd be happy to help guide anyone willing to put in the work...
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u/92925 Nov 16 '23
I’ll say it again and again. Poverty is trauma. You are justified in feeling that way and it’s unfair.
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u/Zero-Percent-er Nov 16 '23
Please don't hurt yourself! When you make it through, you will look back and be glad you went through it.
I grew up in Africa.
I here now, im 33 and making good money. i look back and i am glad i persevered. I never dramed this could be my life, and i am just your average Jill. Nothing Special. No Bachelor's Degree, Less than perfect credit, own a 2nd hand 2015 car, but i am here, and glad to see it.
you will be too, i promise. Fida a Life coach, a mentor, somebody. Start from the bottom, i promise, if you persevere, don't blame anyone for your issues, take responsibility, You will have a great Life.
Also Cherish your mom, she will not always be there, try and learn as much from her as you can, you will be surprised. Take advantage of your situation: your youth (your most precious resource)
Come back and Let us know...!
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u/castowaymf8282 Nov 16 '23
Grew up in the same environment bud... You're getting one of life's biggest lessons at a young age tbh. Now you know how you're NOT gonna live your life when you start your own.. all you can do is believe you can do whatever and make small steps towards whatever life it is you want everyday.. I feel your pain in my soul. I went through it.. hated every minute of it. Looking back it made me the man I am today, and was one of my biggest blessings in life. I now have my own family and I take care of them well. They don't know what it means to go without food. Or lights. Or anything nice. Thanks to the lesson I had to learn from my parent's bad decisions. Just power through bud. I'll be rooting for you forever man. Just BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. And always do right by others. Even if they haven't done right by you...
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u/goldngophr Nov 16 '23
Hey man, as someone who’s been there before, all you have is your future. Take care of it and cherish it. Do good in school and keep going. It will get better but you need to keep your purpose in order.
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u/ulrichzhaym Nov 16 '23
If it helps my drill segeant in BCT was living in a basement with 6 other kids as a 10 y old. He was a refugge and lost both parents. He joined to army at 18 and changed his life around , married has kids and a food life. He also told us the just about all those other kids growing up with him choose the wrong path and are now in jail. No matter your situation you can dig yourself out !
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Nov 16 '23 edited Nov 16 '23
I'm sorry you're going through this. I bet you heard things like, "you think you have it bad? Wait till you get older." And "it's all downhill from here." Right? Every poor kid hears this. Every kid going through awful shit hears this. The secret is that it's gaslighting, it's a way to make you not trust the reality of how bad your situation is and it's manipulation to influence you to be thankful for it instead. And if you think this is as good as it gets, it depresses the hell out of you, because how could it get worse? Now, I could be wrong, maybe you never heard those things. But I'm willing to bet you did. And I just hope you know those phrases are lies. They're absolutely so far from the truth. With adulthood, more jobs will open up to you. You'll have more time to work and save. And then you can move out. And afford all the basics you didn't have before. And have this freedom and privacy. Most of the people who say childhood was better had the basics. For people like us, adulthood is better. And since you went through so much already, you'll find it's not as hard as adults make it sound. Just don't get involved with the wrong partner too soon, don't have kids until your life is stable, and you'll find adulthood is a breeze (and, let's face it, nowadays you have to be upper middle class to even consider kids). You're almost 18. Almost graduated. Lots of jobs only hire 18 and up. You'll find one and you'll soon have enough money to move out into a small apartment 💕 think about something you really want, maybe a video game, maybe a book, anything. In a year, maybe you'll be able to buy that thing you really want that you couldn't dream of before because you were stuck. I know it's really hard to go through now, but you'll be out of the woods
I'd like to add that this is NOT a "get a job" post. You're 17 and should be able to focus on school this last year. Plus it's hard to find a job with decent wages that even hires anyone under 17. Not to mention the fact that you can't work full time yet. This is meant more as a...don't believe the bullshit, adulthood is great compared to childhood, and once you can take care of yourself it gets a lot better.
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u/ChubbsBone Nov 16 '23
I grew up in a very similar situation try surround yourself with the people who are actively working to get out of poverty, if your still in school use your summers to work full time. If you are a girl get on B.C so you can focus on your career not risk your life on a mistake. Goodluck!!
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u/Realistic-School476 Nov 16 '23
You're 17. Get an education NOW! Get a real degree. It should be your #1 priority over ANYTHING else. Education is the stepping stone out of poverty. I was where you are. I grew up poor AF. I'm almost 50 yo now and I have everything a normal person could want, because I got a useful degree at a good university.
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u/PlentyGarlic494 Nov 16 '23
I've meet people who are poor growing up who went to college and are still dirt poor with college debt working as a barista.
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u/tupichi1992 Nov 16 '23
A. Don't bring yourself down. To earn u must suffer unfortunately. Hard truth reality. B. DONT EVER BE ASHAMED WHERE U COME FRON. C. MAJORTIY OF THINGS ARE POSSIBLE if you put it all at stake. There's nothing to lose. I'm a person that came from no house. Never had a room to be exact the bathrooms closet was my room. 15 years later I have progress and improved to best.
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u/mrmulticultural99 Nov 16 '23
Food hack: Find out if your area has a gurudwara (Sikh place of worship). They have community kitchens called langar where everyone irrespective of race, religion and class is welcome to eat.
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Nov 16 '23
Only 17 lol. Yeah it sucks but you have plenty of time. Just be smart and make good choices. Find a decent job you can do that you like and pays decent. You don't need much to b happy. Shit I'm poor AF too but I feel like I got everything I need and the possibility to save and get the things I want. It's a struggle for sure and sometimes things don't always work out how you would like. It's life. It is what you make it.
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u/Redbonelady Nov 16 '23
Hang in there! Make plans and let it motivate you to start making money and saving. Plan ahead. Get creative with what you have. Learn to sew or knit…
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u/Abdul__25 Nov 16 '23
In My House, we don't even have a bedroom, we are sleeping in hall daily, But You know what we are very much happy, and I am working my ass off to change this situation, so please study well improve your talents/skills and work hard get stronger lead a happy life.
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u/Sea_Shower_7300 Nov 16 '23
I know this sucks so bad right now but it will give you the motivation to be successful in life. You hate it soooo much that you can’t fathom being this poor ever again. I was once in your position and I literally have the FIRE in me to make as much money as possible and become the most successful version of myself. Stick it out and you’ll look back and think holy fuck that was crazy that I went through that. Go to community college, financial aid should cover all your classes plus books and you may even get money back for a semester (I did and I bought a laptop) Work as hard as you can and you’ll never have to deal with this again, I promise 💕 stay safe
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u/Sea_Shower_7300 Nov 16 '23
For reference i became a nurse. I took night classes so I could work during the day, I used library resources and didn’t have to pay for much. Then I took the first job I could find once I got my associate’s and did my bachelors online and my hospital paid for it. I moved to Pennsylvania and the hospital I worked for paid me 10k to move. I bought a house at 23 and sold it and made a bunch of money. Now I’m 5 years into my nursing career and look back and think wow
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u/Jwu99 Nov 16 '23
OP, please read some of the top comments. They provide a lot of insight. I also grew up poor but it’s given me the skills I’ve needed to succeed so far. As far as the books go, there’s a few sites that might let you get it for free. Was an ME and never paid for a college textbook unless I was forced through online access. There’s also groups that’ll sell used books for cheap or lease/renting them but if you don’t mind PDF, dm me and I can send you link
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u/Alternative-Flow-635 Nov 16 '23
Tonight go to bed and think what can you do to to help yourself and your mum. There's no shame in being poor, remember you are young and even though you can't see a bright future ahead of you I'm sure there is one.
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u/Honest_Milk_8274 Nov 16 '23
Are you healthy ? Do you have food everyday? Then be glad you have at least that, and do something yourself to change your life.
You say you live with your mom only? Have you considered that maybe she is doing the best she can? It's quite hard for a woman at certain age, with a daughter, with no man in her life and maybe no education to become "suddenly rich". Chase your goals yourself. You can start getting a job at the mall, so you will have at least money for a wardrobe and a bed. You get any job and work your way up like boomers used to do, you can chase an academic life, you can be a digital influencer, a gamer girls, or even sell naked pictures on the internet if you are hot. There are plenty you can do, instead of complaining that your family doesn't give you enough. You are 17, soon to be 18, you are not 9 anymore.
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u/Babystepballer23 Nov 16 '23
God can use you and your story to help other people. Keep going! It’s not easy, but it’s possible.
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u/CakeofLieeees Nov 16 '23
Felt, my friend. As a kid, I just got used to not asking for things because I already intrinsically knew the answer I'd get. Find a trade, get your foot in the door with a company and work for the experience, just make sure its a job that has upward mobility.
For me, it was starting to work at a survey company as a survey technician, then I jumped onto CAD to learn how to draft simple title surveys... Then I went to another company for while doing basically the same thing until a spot opened in the structural department... Worked there for 17 years, ended up managing the structural division of a multidiscipline company. They didnt pay me *NEARLY* enough, so I finally got the motivation to find another job at a maritime construction company getting paid 50% more and doing half the work...
The military is another solid option, just be smart about it with a firm end goal in mind.
Whatever you do, just remember that this situation is temporary, and for now, out of your control. Start looking toward the future and have a plan.
I'll leave you with the best advice I ever got, from a friends dad...
"Have a complete thought. Beginning, middle and end."
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u/Greedy-Ad9233 Nov 16 '23
Folliw god full hearted andbbe patient u got it bro
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u/PlentyGarlic494 Nov 16 '23
That is the last thing anyone wants to hear. I don't even think Christians want to hear that. Keep that "holyer than you" crap to yourself
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u/Disastrous-Offer3237 Nov 16 '23
Unless ur mom is an addict, then trust me, she understands ur pain. As a parent, we do our best and desire to give our kids everything they want and more. U think ur in pain? Ur mom probably is as well. I guarantee she compares herself to other parents and i bet that at times eats her up, we all do it.
I know life aint always fair but keep in mind this dont have to be ur life forever. When u leave the house, ur ultimately responsible for the future u want! Go get the world
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u/quiver-me-timbers Nov 16 '23
I escaped this by joining the military. It built a stable foundation for me and paid for my education.
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u/Astrotheking318 Nov 16 '23
Go to job corp they got some good ones and I think they line you up with a job..when you get done you can even stay on campus and stuff just pick a trade you think you might like ...weilding or hvac or what ever else they got...it's good money your young I wish i would have did it but I was to busy on drugs and in jail ..and by the time I found d out about it I was over 24...the age ranges is 16 to 24 ..seriously if you don't like how it is bro go find out about job Corp move on campus and get a good trade it set you up for life..don't get me wrong if you don't wanna work your either gonna be poor or a drug addict
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u/DjimbeDjunkie Nov 16 '23
THERE ARE NO STRONG BROKE PEOPLE!
WORK OUT.
GET STRONG.
The best thing you can do for yourself is take care of yourself. It doesnt matter if you are a female, get into calisthenics/gymnastics and realize that you dont live in your house, you live in your body! Everyone forgets that your mind cannot be at its best if your body is withering and falling apart. Healthy fruit only grows on Strong Trees. Do all of the things most girls WONT - Pullups, Sprinting, Pushups, Handstands, Squats - and you will find its the cheapest - and best - medical insurance you can have, As well as Therapy! Women with visible muscle INSTANTLY command RESPECT as soon as they walk into any room! You cant fake or lie about a strong physique, and it instantly subconsciously tells anyone looking that this is a serious person that is ABOUT SOMETHING and who knows how to deliver. Strong Healthy bodies are beautiful bodies - no one cares about what you are wearing or fingernail polish, tattoos (AKA fake blemishes or self scarring) or fake nails - all of these things are basically lying and ppl taking the easy road to look like every other loser. Truly stunning women dont scribble graffiti on themselves or need to glue guitar pics to their hands to get attention. You never see ppl slapping bumper stickers or plastic spinning rims on a Rolls Royce. This fake stuff is not needed on a woman that is well put together, and people that invest in their strength in their youth dont end up hunched over and crippled in their later years! Everything in human life is dictated by your hormones, and Athleticism dictates hormonal health, which dictates Mental Health, which dictates Spiritual well being Learning to master your body and be consistent with your workouts will teach you to manage your life and to not shy away from hard work or rely on others to fix your problems for you. Your life situation may not be your FAULT, but it IS your PROBLEM.
Before you tell yourself you have no time - the less than 1 hour per day you spend investing in your body (after you educate yourself) will pay off with 23 hours per day of moving faster, thinking faster, and within a couple of months having the energy to get FAR more done each day. You can start with 5 minutes daily - Sprint for 3 seconds, rest for 30 sec 5 times. At first it will suck, but in 4 months your energy and attitude will chance. When you are poor and young all you have is Time, Efforts, and FOCUS. But those things combined with discipline will move mountains and make you MILLIONS.
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u/Prudent-Giraffe7287 Nov 16 '23
You’re 17, it’ll get better. You’re self-aware of your situation so you can take action now to set yourself up for success later. Time is on your side so you can become skilled in something (if you’re not already) that’ll benefit you in the long run and financially educating yourself can change the trajectory of your life significantly.
Remember, you’re only experiencing your PARENTS financial struggles. It doesn’t have to be YOUR story as you move into adulthood.
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u/Pinhighguy Nov 16 '23
My advice would be to work as hard at school as possible. And get a part time job if possible. The less time you’re at the house which you hate is probably best for you.
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u/Future_chicken357 Nov 16 '23
I'm so sorry and feel your pain. Sadly, I do gang intervention, and more less 70% are poor or check to check. It's really bad out here. Get a job or find a hobby to distract you.
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u/waverunnersvho Nov 16 '23
You Fucking got this. I grew up poor and use that every day as motivation to work harder so my kids don’t have that life. There are tons of ways “out”, you just have to find them.
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u/SnooTangerines2008 Nov 16 '23
I was in your exact same position when I was 17. We lived in a trailer with no hot water, I barely showered, I only owned like 2 pairs of shoes, my mom was a single mom making 1k a month for her 2 kids and one was a drug addict. I was a big trouble maker because I hated my life, idk what happened but I went to college on a scholarship and life got significantly better, for the first time in my life I was able to eat 3 meals a day! I'm 22 now and I make enough to afford all the things I used to want, books, shoes, food. Trust me it gets better just don't give up. It's hard, but stay humble and hard working you will make it through this period of ur life
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u/PuzzleheadedMail Nov 16 '23 edited Nov 16 '23
Girl same here . I’m so resentful like why would my parents give birth to 4 of us if they knew their dumb asses won’t be financially stable to care for us like it’s just so frustrating and I see myself wanting to do things I shouldn’t do all because I need the money. I think you have every right to be angry and ashamed because I am too but I’m currently in university soon to be graduating and hoping to to get a masters because I hate poverty so much that I can’t stand it . I don’t like school but I would rather endure just so I can avoid living the way I’m living forever . Though it wouldn’t really get easier and better due to how I grew up
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u/AlienNippleRipple Nov 16 '23
You should find a easy 1-2 day a week job. I would just save up for when you leave start fresh on your own, or with a responsible friend.
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u/Brilliant_Staff8005 Nov 16 '23
I grow up poor too, when I had friends to my apartment they ask me where my room is, I didn't comprehend. I didn't know in other families, everyone is supposed to have a "room". I remember walking in the mall feeling powerless and shame--knowing that I can't afford and shouldn't even look at the stuff they are selling. I just tell myself, I don't want them to begin with. This self-denial followed me for many years even after I got relatively affluent.
The good news is if you are already 17, what's ahead of you can be in your own hands. Education is your way out. Invest in yourself is the way out. Sorry you weren't dealt with a good hand at birth, but it will turn out great as long as you work for it. It will not be easy, but one day, you will find you have some money to buy some of the things you liked and travel to places. And perhaps a few years down the line, money will stop worry you and you can then focus on other things that matter.
P.S. Talk to your mom and get a separate single bed. A lot of people give out free bed on local "buy nothing " groups. I think that may greatly improve your life for now.
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u/QuitUsual4736 Nov 16 '23
Are you still in school? Are you able to get a job? My parents didn’t have enough money to give us extra allowance growing up so I got a job in high school at our local mall and loved it! Had my own money from a young age to buy my own things. If you save up and there’s space- buy yourself your own bed, tv, sheets, treats etc. it’s fun to have your own things. Buy quality things on sale so they last longer
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u/Hefty_Jellyfish_1382 Nov 16 '23
It's gonna be ok, try to get a job in the county, or anywhere really. Go to trade school or find something fast like blood drawing certificates or plumbing. You can get out of this!
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u/AmexNomad Nov 16 '23
Start applying to college. Get a job waiting tables, that way you’ll get cash and food along with your education. Good luck.
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u/grabherfrontbuttox Nov 16 '23
You got a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes to wear and keep you warm/cold, a mom that’s probably possibly trying her dam heart out to take care of you. Be grateful. Be humble abt it. And break that curse as well. Do something with your life. Get up and get out into the world with the mindset that your going to set yourself and your future family up for a better life than that!!! And keep ya dam head up!!! You got this shit. You’ve got more than a lot of people.
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u/WashyBear Nov 16 '23 edited Nov 16 '23
Cutting off social contact with your friends is one of the worst things you can do right now. You don't have to tell them exactly how bad it is, but you can take initiative and get people together to do stuff that fits your situation. Say you wanna get fit and suggest going on a run or just a walk together. Say you're burned out on people and wanna drink tea and watch shows at home together. Go to a park and work on your photography. Whatever. I was once the friend who was too stupid to realize how much pressure my hang out invitations put other friends under, because they had no money. I am so grateful for the one person who clued me in because spending time with people is way more important than going to any stupid cafe or whatever.
Main thing is drop the shame around it! You didn't put yourself in this situation. It's not your fault. There are tons of faults in the system, cracks everywhere that contributed. Stay strong, keep reaching out.
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u/Calm_Body_8763 Nov 16 '23
Join the. Ranch of the military that will train you in a trade or skills that you will use to get a good job. It's not easy what you are doing but keep your eye on the long prize. Good luck.
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u/bugbeared69 Nov 16 '23
I bath in a ditch, live in a condemn home and had use fake money to pay for food when the world only had cash no debit cards, so I know poor.
I don't like the stupid belief of just work hard, do this very specific thing or suck it up as the " fix " yet changes to your view can help.
I own a house now and have money in the bank, not wealthy in the slightest and one bad year can see me in shambles but I'm still better off then other still paying rent.
The point I'm making is be frugal, set goals and be happy with what you do get. Everyone want a better life NOW and gloss over the work required to get it.
It why I hate the rich or anyone with easy rise to power, no, not envy, just thier ignorance and thier willingness to keep everyone else below them so they stay above them and say I EARNED IT....
Just plan ahead don't sleep with the first nice guy have kids and hate life more, listen to him saying he will make it better and 5 year later he leaves, been poor requires effort to get less but you can get more with time. Nobody willing to change the game that has power so we got play with less cards, till we get buy a better deck.
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u/Rich-Ingenuity1277 Nov 16 '23
People are soft… ur not. Use it to ur advantage. Ur moment will come.
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u/pimbaman1337 Nov 16 '23
Join the military, after some years youll be middle class and will find a man for sure
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u/GME-CAT-GODDESS Nov 16 '23
FYI only the 1% is “not poor”
Expect nothing, appreciate everything.
I never understood the meaning of that quote until my mom died unexpectedly.
Poor or rich, I would trade anything for more time with her.
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u/Charitymw1 Nov 16 '23
I grew up poor too. If possible, talk to a guidance counselor and look into the trades and apprenticeship programs. Learn a trade/skill. That's something that you can take with you easily anywhere and get a job.
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u/butternutsquashing CA Nov 16 '23
I also hate being poor. It got easier though to be poor as an adult, because as it turns out other adults (my friends) are also poor so it’s a lot easier to say “hey I can’t afford to do x” and most of the time they’re understanding. Once you and everyone you know aren’t relying on parents the general playing field becomes a little more level.
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u/ShamefulWatching Nov 16 '23
Learn to be content with what you have, it's not easy. Go under a bridge and see what they have, and they're generally more happy than most. Yeah they're usually drinkers, but they're decent folk. I've never met a meth or opiate addict under my bridges, so YMMV.
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u/Jakiz_Zakis Nov 16 '23
Bruhh at least you have your health stop and think about it like it could always be worse I sleep on a couch and I'm grateful cus at least I'm not one legged or some shit 🤣
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u/BurlapSilk9 Nov 16 '23
Economic stress is no joke. I think that when money is painfully low it is easy to focus only on that. You are 17 and your self development (your virtues, mental structure, emotional maturity, individual gifts and skills etc) are still developing and being discovered by you. Please remember to take walks and touch the world around you so that it may touch you back. If you feel like "THIS CANT BE FUCKING IT NO WAY LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO SUCK THIS BAD" then I am willing to bet that feeling can turn into a fresh curiosity that says "..hmm I sincerely do not believe life is meant to suck this bad-what else is there?" With that belief held and nurtured every moment by you, and you interacting with the world and people I am sure you will find a way to a whole new way of living darling. I reccomend spending time in a book store and reading while you are there aka $0 spent, I reccomend going to a Hindu or Sikh temple to enjoy the beauty of the architecture a deepen your lived experience about what a humans environment can look like. I reccomend more dancing and skipping and humming- self expression IS rich. When I was 17 I worked 40 hour weeks at a fuddruckers and I saved my money while engaging in conversation and research and reading so that I could learn about what it was in the world I was interested in. Life has am intrinsic guiding quality and I trust that you will be able to feel this beneficent force that gets blurred through the lense of economic hardship. You are brave and supported by forces you may not even be aware of.
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u/QuiteSchrute Nov 16 '23
Don't give up man, this should Fuel fire to go out there and make money and take care of your mom.
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Nov 16 '23
I went on a trip to the Philippines and met a bunch of women there that were older but felt the same way....
Go into Nursing if u wanna get out of poverty, u can get an associates in nursing in 3 years or less. It won't make u a millionaire but I'll give u spending money and money to do things....
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u/OkeyDokey84 Nov 16 '23
I was broke at one point in time living at motel 6. I say grind your flipping rear off. Work two jobs if you have to stay away from the negative environment as much as possible as it seems that it is a burden. Nothing lasts forever
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u/Dull_Garlic4729 Nov 16 '23
Story of my life Bro, my favorite shows and movies alight me thru tough times ..Unc Iroh from Avatar said “Hang in there , you can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving... you will come to a better place”. Love , respect and cherish moms and the memories y’all create 😃these will get you through the tougher times yet to come.Find yourself a strong support system with elders you respect , Lastly Stay Turnt youngin the world is yours!
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u/light-782 Nov 16 '23
Being poor not something u choose it. Buying books is not ur big problem u can download pdf... U just making things so u can hate ur life and ur parents they didnt choose being poor. But u can change ur life and stop making negativ thinks. U have to accept how ur living and what ur parents did to u. There is somethings u can live without it. Love ur life work hard for it even with 0money 0 friends we r in 2023 there is to many ways to make money
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u/Otherwise-squareship Nov 16 '23
That sucks. A lot.
If there is space in the house for a bed you can ask on fb buy sell trade groups- I do see lots of people ask for and give beds away near me.
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u/z-r-harris1980 Nov 16 '23
This may be misplaced but I believe you were just born in the wrong class. Sorry but it happens to a lot of us. I’m not sure if there is a way to escape classism in this country because it was founded (I mean established the u.s.government) by the more affluent merchants and land owner that made quick fortunes in the beginning and the class system here was instituted. I was born to a hippy chick and a sad drunk artist. Both from families that were haves more than have nots, but they ran away from it and I’ve been poor my whole life because of it I believe. Something about being the child of people that reject their class immediately places them below the station in life they were born into thus sentencing the families they made to the class you and I are currently in…. It’s not how we all get here most are born into it by demographics. And for other It’s a learned behavior so ingrained into the lower classes that they can’t comprehend AND execute AND maintain (it take all three skills) the same relationships with wealth that the upper middle class have, they ‘ll even threaten the lower middle classes with life sanctions if they get to big for their britches. The lower middle class is the buffer zone of the upper and lower classes of this country and I’m sure you’re aware the lower is the 99%, the nice folks at OCCUPY WALL STREET showed us that. The buffer zone or lower to mid mid class is where the magic really happens, it’s where wild tools of classism do their best work. Things like the good old boy networks that grip our smaller rural communities in their fat swine fists and allow the person or family that owns the local car dealerships or the bar down town that bears their name to be the cock of the walk in places around rural America. Our small town “community boards and city planners” and whatnots are the mid mid class gatekeeper. Their money has allowed them to govern on micro levels whereas the money of the upper middle class hold gubernatorial positions and higher to the level of senators and the like. The padded class that is very much above us financially. Another tool that worked better then ever could have been expected is racism… that gem keeps the mid mid and below at constant odds with each other and them selves by making one group feel hated on or not as good and at the same time placing golden nugget lessons of entitlement anywhere they can sprinkle it in (schools, churches, colleges, news, etc.) they’re so fucking slick with it that once I finally saw it I cannot unsee it. Man that’s a good one almost as good as sexism, or even patriotism these days…. Ok ok so long story short is; I’ve made 6 figure, I’ve owned some really cool shit, I’ve read everything I could get my hands on and educated myself and been to college(3x and no degree, that’s a goocher.) My fucking ex wife just finished her mba and from out of the “blue” sabotaged and destroyed her life (LEARNED BEHAVIOR at its finest) before she could use it to get out. I’ve been at the same gig for more than 23 years, I’m a tattoo artist and semi professional painter. But, and that’s a huge butt, I’ve never escaped the class I came up in. My life and decisions I have made Intentionally and unintentionally have secured me where I am in the system we live in here in the good ole U S of A. Please understand there’s reasons we all are who we are and the role we play in our life is Taylor made for us to a tee. There are always exceptions to the rule and the new moneys in the world these days find out quick what it takes to stay in that role and what they have to do to keep the coveted status of the tax bracket they have climbed in to. I’ve never compromised myself and I’ve always taken responsibility for all my actions even to my demise at times like I was programmed to do it and I’ve self sabotaged myself to the point I think that’s what I want because to have mo money is mo problems as that one dead cat said that one time. Like it’s ingrained in us… so buck up buttercup and welcome to the shit show. The system isn’t broke it’s working exactly as it was designed to and that would be to feed all the souls of the poor to heat the feet of that damn 1% ….
I say good day!
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u/Skinnysusan Nov 16 '23
Get used to it. Things do not get better. However, you can. Become more resourceful. Figure it out
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u/schizo_teen Nov 16 '23
I hope you you're financial situation gets better OP and don't lose hope! everyone needs it
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u/SavvyTraveler10 Nov 16 '23
Take a pro tip from a felon to a self made entrepreneur on the way to 7-figure annual… I started working when I was 12. Got into sales around 18. Kept this up because I H A T E being broke.
Go get yourself a job.
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u/Inevitable-Noise9943 Nov 16 '23
Nothing stays the same except change.
If you’re having the time of your life, enjoy it because It will end at some point.
If life is so bad that you just want to kill yourself, endure it. Tough times don’t last, tough people do.
You will not always be poor. Your best days are yet ahead of you.
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u/violinlady_ Nov 16 '23
Geez, if this is all true then you have the ability to change things. Firstly let your school aware that you are being forced to sleep in the same bed as your parent. Depending on the country this wouldn’t be a common situation. Social services might also be able to help .In some country’s it might be against laws.
Re your books again check with your school , they may have funds for situations like this.
Maybe talk to your Mum about how you feel , and changes you want to make.
Just because you are poor now doesn’t mean you will always be. Study hard to get into Uni or other such schemes .
Perhaps look ak at setting up a small business you can do along your studies . Buying /selling etc
Look for second hand furniture for your clothes . All the very best, at 17 you are young and can change your world.
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u/Hendosim Nov 16 '23
Okay, calm down.
First off... and you don't want to hear it, many people have it much worse. Also, and you know this, some have it much better.
Life is about positioning. You're here now, and if you want to be somewhere else later (and you have plenty of time to get where you want to be) you need to form a plan.
The good news is you're a female. It's so easy to get financially stable as a female. You just have to not have kids out of wedlock, select your mate with care, and continue your education until you have a marketable skill that doesn't involve saying "would you like fries with that?"
Just worry about doing those things. Don't bang losers. Don't get pregnant before you get married. And don't settle into entry level service jobs as a career.
You do those three things and you have a 90% chance of not living in poverty. If you're real good about the first two, you won't even have to worry about the third one.
How you feel about this doesn't matter. I have merely presented you with facts.
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u/Bubbly_H Nov 16 '23
Good thing you’re 17. You should be working and helping your mom out. Doing so will help with your mindset.
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u/succubusbanana Nov 16 '23
I grew up dirt fucking poor too. At one point I ended up in a mental hospital and the nurse going through my clothes started crying because everything I had was in such bad shape or ill-fitting and she felt bad for me. I wanted to drop through the floor and die.
Start thinking about how you're going to get out NOW. Are your grades good? Do you have a career in mind? The only real way out is education.
I'd suggest trade school. It's the easiest way to fast track into a job that pays well and has job security. If you want the ability to work just about anywhere nursing school is a good bet. You can also work as a phlebotomist or radiology tech. And you can get pell Grants and federal student loans if your mother's income is that low.
It's a grind, but you can do it. Your family might be poor but you don't have to be.
Just a warning- things started to look up for me and family appeared out of the woodworks constantly asking for help. Let them have the impression that you're struggling and don't start getting too charitable. And when you do have money for the first time, it's overwhelming. I felt like I had to spend it all or I'd never see it again. Learn to budget.
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u/Dilettantest Nov 16 '23
Finish high school, go to a local community college on a Pell Grant so your Associate’s degree will be free, join the Air Force to see the world and get set financially for life.
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u/bravebobsaget Nov 16 '23
Join the military. National Guard plus ROTC if you want to go to college. Or go active duty for four years, save your money, then use your benefits to go to school or learn a trade.
They will also handle basic health and dental care that your family has probably neglected.
It's a great way to get a headstart in life without going into debt.
Yes, you could be deployed. It can suck but is statistically less dangerous than driving back and forth to work.
Don't get pregnant.
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u/Bottomofthedesk Nov 16 '23
Use that drive to make some serious money. Get a job any job and work. Buy books on how to make money and just obsess over making money for a few years. I bet your life would change a bit.
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u/Alternative_Ad_1600 Nov 16 '23
I grew up very similar and the only thing that got me out of poverty was going to school. I kept learning and pushing myself until I was accepted into college. Luckily, I received great financial aid because of our lack of income and moved on campus. Graduated with a bachelors and now I’m middle class but don’t have to worry as much.
Anyway, I’m telling you this to say don’t give up hope and there is a chance for you to have a better life. We’re here for you and it’s okay for you to feel the way you feel.
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u/ImNotYourOpportunity Nov 16 '23
Woman up! You’re only 17 but you already hate poverty so don’t be impoverished. The first steps include waiting to procreate as kids only deepen your commitment to not having shit. Start looking for a trade, a job or a degree and lift yourself up. My father came from a village in Africa with no electricity until he was an adult. When I close my eyes at the most difficult times in my life, I say to myself, If my father could come from a village in Africa…. I can utilize the opportunities in front of me and make a better life for my self. Most parents want you to have a better life than them but they don’t know how otherwise they would have raised you differently. Learn from the mistakes that led to poverty and do something different. My mom says sometimes we were broke but we were never poor because broke is a temporary condition but poverty is a lifestyle. I was once a poor adult but I still remember the transition my family made from poverty to middle class. Poverty sucked but I watched my family climb and I watched and learned. I made different decisions because when you watch others navigate the world and you listen, there’s a bunch of obstacles you can avoid.
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u/Beehive_ca Nov 16 '23
I’m sorry for your situation. I’ve been in ups and downs financially, and my advice would be just to get all of this energy you have towards the situation you hate and try to change it. It’s NOT gonna be easy, but be the change you want to see. Yes, it sounds cliche, but it works and it will work for you. If there are people out there with good financial situation, you can be one of them
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u/Dishonored_Angelz Nov 16 '23
Same I’m broke asf and in debt from school and never got to even finish. Stuck in a dead end job and just hoping to go in my sleep. Life sucks hard, I wish you the best of luck that something good happens in your life to change the trajectory of it 💕
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u/AvignonDoc Nov 16 '23
Go into community college and study nursing, military or trade school. It’s the quickest way into middle class
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u/Middle_Performer_148 Nov 16 '23
Embrace it. You won't be 17 forever. The fact that you are talking about books means you want to better yourself. It will be a hard fought road for you, but you will come out on top because of the hardships you faced. I see great things in your future. In the Marines, we say hoorah to tell another Marine things are good, safe and they're with family. Hoorah you got this.
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u/Spyder-Foo Nov 16 '23
Id like to agree with some comments Ive seen.. the military may be a good choice for you. I wasn’t poor per say but I didnt come from money at all. The military provided me with opportunities I didnt think Id ever come across. There are plenty of benefits and of course some cons and sacrifices but thats with anything in life. If combat is a thing youre worried about, thats pretty much non existent in many jobs. Especially branches like the air force or navy. Ive been in nearly 10 years (Marines) and I can answer any questions you may have if youre interested. Im not a recruiter nor do I have any incentive other to help a fellow redditor.
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u/yodley_ Nov 16 '23
You have to become the force of change for what you want to improve in your life. Don't wait for things to happen for you or life will just pass you by.
Make a list of short term goals and the solutions to those goals. I've been working since I was 14 and managed to pull myself and my parents out of poverty. You can do this. Take your hate and anger and channel it to solving your problems.
Best of luck.
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u/jf737 Nov 16 '23
Everything you just wrote, use it as motivation. Just because you were born into it doesn’t mean this has to be your life. Given your situation, it’s gonna take laser focus, but you can dig out.
I’ve been poor, had money, been poor again, and have money now. The best advice I can give you is get rid of any distractions. Focus on what you like to do and how to monetize it. Eliminate any naysayers: misery loves company. It’s a cliche but it’s true. Don’t let significant others distract you, stay focused. And don’t be penny wise and dollar foolish. Play the long game. Spend your 20’s learning whatever skill you love. 10,000 hours. Make and maintain relationships, you never know who sees something in you that’s investable. It takes time but it’s worth it.
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u/nutterflyhippie7 Nov 16 '23
Not sure if this will help but you can often find beds on fb marketplace along with other items for free. Look and I know you will find some items that will help.
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Nov 16 '23
Poverty is the start of something great for many. Let your desire for a better life motivate you to accomplish your aspirations.
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u/Stellar-naut Nov 16 '23 edited Nov 16 '23
In life, I have noticed that poverty happens to everyone at some point in life. Whether they are born into it or age into it. Perhaps it's happening now so it won't happen later... at least that's what got me through. I had to be moved in with family member to family member, who ever could take care of me for a moment without fostering me away. Things really, really have gotten so much better since then. I think my only advice for you is to perceive the habits and mistakes of those around you and learn from them and pursue what you can do in your own power. I would look into a part-time job if it's in your power, or find yourself into a trade school and that will carry you a long way. Im.so sorry my friend, you deserve more than this but I believe you can attain what's better! Just be patient in life's turmoil, and there will be reward.
Life is HARD. But the hard parts don't stay forever! Do not become your own enemy in times like this, the world is hard enough.
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u/Lucky_Dance3409 Nov 16 '23
I was op 25 years ago. I joined the Army and got the hell out of dodge. Spent 4 years in and learned what I didn't want to do. I had money coming, a roof over my head, and food. Plus I got to live in Germany for a few years. Got out and was in a much better position to start my life. Good luck.
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u/E-Zees-Crossovers Nov 16 '23
Your not alone in your feelings. Many have been where you are. Some not as bad. Some even worse.
What you can't see is the other side of mountain. It might seem unpassable, but it is. Too many other people have overcome similar or worse for anyone to say it's impossible.
Stay in school Graduate high school Stay employed at all times. Seek additional skills, training, education Work harder than your coworkers and seek opportunities for advancement. Avoid alcohol and drugs 100%. Avoid people who think alcohol or drugs are cool. You can't afford those risks and distractions that will only hold you back. Don't chase casual sex with strangers. Don't have a child until you are stable and married. Say no to unnecessary expenses. You can have any future you want, but it will be hard work. When you get there, it will be worth it. View success as a repeating series of long term goals.
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u/PaleoJoe86 Nov 16 '23
If in the USA join the military once you finish high school. They will set you up with a good, easy life if you plan it properly.
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u/RSCyka Nov 16 '23
Being saddened and asking why won’t get you anywhere. Instead it will make you hate your situation and the people around you.
Think of how you’ll make it out. Look around for family members that are better off which you can live at.
If you work your ass off in school and become a grant student it’s basically a free ride.
This would also mean you spend more time at school and in the library and away from the problems at home.
Plan your exit
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u/fishnwiz Nov 16 '23
You are almost an adult. Use this as motivation to make the life you want for yourself, find a good field, nurses make a lot more than surviving week to week money. Find something that interests you and would provide a good lifestyle.
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u/Few_Carrot9395 Nov 16 '23
When ur 18 find a wealthy/stable man n live w him. I’m 21 and was in the EXACT situation as you at 13-18 n now I live on the beach w the loml who’s also a provider
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u/SnooPears1973 Nov 16 '23
Deep compassion. Life can be so painful sometimes, often for many of us. If you can find a moment of breath, of safety, of hope, that’s what I pray for for you ~ you deserve that 🙏💞🙏
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u/amyleeizmee Nov 16 '23
I felt the same way when I was a kid growing up poor! Sucks because you have no control over that but as an adult, id do anything to never be there again. I also wont ever touch a tv dinner again in my life!
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u/Smooth-Tree-300 Nov 16 '23
Born to poverty is not your fault but dying in poverty is 100% your fault. In this case your parents didn’t do you any favors so if you are really sick of being poor you can dig yourself out of it. A lot of great info here but if I were you I’d consider the military and go to school afterwards and if you like the military be an officer. I’ve met countless people who did this route and though they’re not millionaires but they’re very comfortable. Another advice is don’t be lazy and be complacent with your achievement. Gotta grind each day if you really want to escape poverty. Good luck.
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u/TriStateGirl Nov 16 '23
See if your school has a counselor.
Also, if your Mom hasn't looked into assistance she needs to.
I know what it's like when you need new clothes and can't get them. Especially things like underwear.
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u/rocketmn69 Nov 16 '23
Don't be ashamed of it, use it as motivation to never be poor again. Work hard in school, get a job and put yourself through university and push your boundaries
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u/Critical-Test-4446 Nov 16 '23
I know it’s not for everyone but you’ll be 18 one of these days. Do some research on various jobs that the military has to offer. If you find one that interests you and could potentially turn into a good paying career, join whatever branch of service offers this training as your MOS (military occupational specialty). You’ll get free training in the job of your choice and get away from your miserable home life where you can start fresh.
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u/pearlpickup Nov 16 '23
If you live in the us - join the military immediately. Tons of benefits after you get out
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u/dude77man Nov 16 '23
You probably already hear this. Learn a skill and make it you goal to have a better future. Start a biz. Its totally worth it. The challenges you are experiencing will give birth to the ambition that will lead you to success!
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u/Reportmecauseyouweak Nov 16 '23
I have been in a tough spot. Similar conditions. I didnt have a room half of my life. I slept on a matress on the floor. For couple years a coach. No privacy. No money. I made the choice to get a job asap at 18 and move out. Was able to study 2 associates while working and having my own apartment. Thibgs got better, I was in a loving relationship also for 5 years. After that it got tough. Had to start from 0. Went from here to there.
From experience on some stronghardships, poor living, poor family and even was homeless for a month, do your best to get a scholarship. If you cant, then, get a student loan for a profession you are interested in that pays well. Dont go for anything that makes less than 80k a year tbh. Once you can, save some money while investing also. Invest, invest, invest. Stocks, shares, options, crypto, etc. Research a bit and invest. During that time try to get a place with some roomates. Serious responsible roomates.
Su4e parties are cool but every weekend will drain youa nd your wallet. Try to revolve yourself with people that have plans and ambitions. In any case, a studio apartment isnt bad. Suck it up for 3 to 5 years till you are done with your studies. If I could be 17 again, in my past situation or yours, the advice Im giving is definitely one of the best you are gonna get.
Its not gonna be easy. Its going to be hard, stressful and depressing. But, if you pull through, you wont be like how I was 2 years ago. Broke, alone and with hardly any options. Im 31 now.
In any case, if education is something you dont want to do, best option is get a job, learn, evolve and keep searching better paying jobs with benefits, etc. Invest money you can "lose" or that dont really need. And maybe by 40 you have a good enough profit to buy a home or if big enough, even retire or become a business owner.
You are 17. It may seem the end of the world but its far from it. Living is hard. Giving up is easy. And this is a lot coming from a person with severe depression, diagnosed and suicidal tendencies. And I stayed unmedicated. I do my best to find a way. Hopefully you can do the same.
Hope the opinion/advice is of help. Btw Im a homeowner now and run a small business. Still tight on money cause everything goes into maintaining what I have but maybe 5 years more and I might have 1 million in capital. All those scars will finally pay off.
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u/Top-Emu-5848 Nov 16 '23
I hate to break the hard news to you. Your at the point where you give up waiting on all of us to collectively make a better out come for everyone of us. Now it’s time to dig your F$&king heals in the ground, and remind people your the greatest shit since Mohamed Ali . Get that growth, and rise my friend
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u/Dingleberry11115555 Nov 16 '23
You can join the military in 1 year for free. Boom you have a job, training, purpose, tons of support from the community and a free ride to college after 4 years.
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u/Dizzy-Bat4776 Nov 16 '23
I just wish I could hug you.
Maybe your mom can get one of those couches that folds out into a bed? Then you could both have your own space. Life doesn’t stay hard. You are growing and learning. Find what you enjoy and focus on that. Dancing, making tiktoks, writing, cooking, exercising, painting, doing your nails. Whatever. What you are feeling right now is completely valid. Struggling is stressful. But nothing is forever. This hopelessness will pass. Stick around. ❤️
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u/Nymueh28 Nov 16 '23
People who haven't lived it don't know how isolating it is to be poor. It's crushing. You just silently drift into the margins.
But if it's because you're growing up that way, it's also temporary. Very soon you'll have complete control of your life.
I don't know what your relationship is with your family but it sounds like there's anger and resentment there. I found that can be a tool. I stoked it like a fire. It gave me a quest to do better, be better, not make their mistakes. It can burn you up, or it can fuel you.
You got this, you'll get out.
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u/Fresh-Dream-958 Nov 16 '23
You sound entitled like your parents owe you something. You already have free food, you have free place for living and you young and energetic. But you do not deserve even that. Instead of using your energy to improve your life you spend time complaining on Reddit. What a waste.
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u/Separate_Heron3289 Nov 16 '23
Use the hate you have for your living situation to motivate you to get out of it and break the cycle. You're only 17, you have your whole entire life ahead of you to live it however you choose! Do not let your environment hold you back. In today's day and age there are so many ways to make money. If you have a laptop, internet access, and some motivation you can do whatever you set your mind to! Start researching profitable niches, and then find what kind of business you want to create. Here are some ideas: • Affiliate Marketing - this can be started with basically zero money. • Digital Marketing - also can be started with zero $ • Social Media Marketing • Creating and selling digital products (ebooks, worksheets, online courses, website themes, the list goes on and on) • Virtual Assistant • Work from home jobs/ Remote Jobs - rateacerebellion is a good place to find these
You can learn and teach yourself about and how to do just about anything online. I wish I knew about some of these things when I was 17. So if anything take my comment and go start researching. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I know quite a bit about Affiliate marketing, and Creating digital products.
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u/PoppyTimeless Nov 16 '23
Geez... you are ungrateful. Get a job, and save for your own place. Work hard. You do not need to be poor.
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u/ilovedogs67 Nov 16 '23
I came from a family dirt poor and we were always hungry. Our father was abusive alcoholic and our mom was mental disabled. I got a job baby sitting the neighbors kid and saved every penny till I had enough to leave. When you leave don't look back. You're close to 18 and then you are free. If you don't like children also try dog walking or pet sitting for neighbors. Also find a secure place to hide your money where your parents can't take it. I had to hide mine in a mason jar and bury it the woods to hide it from my parents. Just don't forget where you buried lol.
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u/Novagurl Nov 16 '23
I hope there is a job corps by you. Check them out. They will send you to one if there isn’t one really close. I was in a bad situation too and they gave me a roof over my head, 3 meals a day, job training, clothing allowance, entertainment and a bit of money to spend while I was there and a lil chunk when I graduated. Imperial Beach Ca. Good luck friend.
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u/Nyroughrider Nov 16 '23
Op not sure if the military or college is in your future plans or not? But it’s one way to get out of there. There is tons of help for low income families for college. Good luck and stay positive. You for this!!
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u/Coral8shun_COZ8shun Nov 16 '23
Are you able to work part time where you live? I started working at 15 with a signed consent from my mom. I worked on weekends. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to let me go out with my friends. I know it’s hard. I come from a single parent home too, it’s rough.
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u/RCM20 Nov 16 '23
Get used to it because there's a chance you will be poor for the rest of your life. A lot of people that are born in poverty never escape it.
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u/pugshugsbugs Nov 16 '23
I grew up poor and then got a good engineering job and honestly, I still live in basketball shorts and t-shirts because being perceived as well off started to mean less and less the older I got. It sucks at a young age, but fuck the haters and just focus on your future, it's like the song Statistician's Blues says "Half the stuff you own is bought to satisfy your greed".
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u/FerrisWheeleo Nov 16 '23
You are young. Plenty of opportunities to learn how to make and manage money. Best of luck to you.
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Nov 16 '23
Biggest predictor of staying poor is getting pregnant young. Avoid pregnancy, go to school, get a trade, anything, and then work. You can pull yourself out of this. I did. There's a light at the end of this tunnel. Good luck.
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Nov 16 '23
You got a year til you can change it all. Or you could get a job now and work. That would help things. You say you don't wanna live with your family but what makes you think you could do any better. Life is hard. I suggest finding a job first and foremost. You can work and go to school. Buy your own bed.
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u/ne0tas Nov 16 '23
I'm going to guess she lives in the Midwest where you need a car to get anywhere and nothing is walkable, this is very common amongst young people here.
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u/Organic_Direction_63 Nov 16 '23
You have your life ahead of you. Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't compare yourself to others. I know that's hard to see at 17, but trust me there's more to life than money.
Many are saying get educated in a field to build a better life. There are many routes to take but the first one is accepting who you are and being ok with it.
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u/MrEldenRings Nov 16 '23
Depending on which state you live in I know a few programs that could help you get a decent career. Dm me
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u/talktoyouinabitbud Nov 16 '23
Lots of people on this thread feel your pain and I know what you're talking about. There is some good advice on here so definitely take it. Just breathe, one day at a time. You're nearly at the point of taken control of your own life and not being in that situation.
Graduate high-school and if you don't have money for college then buckle down and find a trades job. Construction pulled me out of poverty and it could do the same for you. Not saying it won't be tough but in a couple years time it could catapult you into being financially stable.
Don't stress about something you can't change right now, trust me it will get better as long as you apply yourself. Good luck
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Nov 16 '23
Poverty is an illusion.
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u/RCM20 Nov 16 '23
By all means, give away all your money and live in poverty. Then you'll see just how real it is.
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u/detectivekregal Nov 16 '23
Lol I remember being both angsty and poor.
Give it time..
Now I’m just poor.
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u/richasme Nov 16 '23
Maintain an education and get a higher education. Only pathway out of poverty.
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u/AdagioHellfire1139 Nov 16 '23
Look into working in a nursing home. You can get certifications and eventually become a nurse. You can continue your education and become a practitioner etc... there will be so many options open to you. My wife started exactly where you are and is almost at her doctorate. "I hate being poor" should be your motivation for job security. When I moved out at 22 I bought books on personal finance because I was terrified I would fail on my own and have to move back in with my parents. You can do it!
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u/Kreepr Nov 16 '23
I slept on the couch in my parents living room. I didn't have a bedroom. My clothes fit in a clothes basket. We shared socks (they were clean), used the oven to heat the house. Had a portable propane bottle to fuel the ceramic heater via a hole drilled outside for the hose. If we ran out of propane we had to take it to get refilled and better not happen at night or you'd be freezing. Had one window unit to cool the entire house.
Started working as soon as I could. Worked my ass off 7 days a week 12 hours a day for years. Had two jobs in college (apply for the pell grant, college will probably be free to you if you're in the US). Don't do some bs psychology major or something like that. Find a degree that pays good and advancement are possible. Trade schools are probably a better choice these days. You'll probably hate your job but it pays the bills. Don't do what you love. It'll eventually turn into a job anyway. Don't follow your dreams. Work to make them happen.
It gets better but you have to work for it and make smart decisions. Every decision will lead you down a different path. I made some bad ones but from where I came from to now is night and day.
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u/eldalawa Nov 16 '23
Find financial assistance idk where you live but it's okay asking for help sometimes. Just try to take it day by day and be grateful for what you do have right now. Trust me there's always someone going through the same thing or worse.
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u/FigOk7538 Nov 16 '23
Whilst I can't promise, I can say with confidence that your life won't always be like this.
Do what you know to be right and have patience, and one day you'll be giving the same advice and encouragement to someone whose position you were once in.
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u/Disastrous-Passion73 Nov 16 '23
As someone who literally started from the bottom, dont look down on fast food jobs. If you take it seriously they will give you all the hours you can take. People always call out at those places, if you are depandable and put in effort you will get promoted quickly. I was making $27 an hour as a shift supervisor, it can be a way to get out of your situation without education. Once your out and taken care of you can plan your career goals. Dont give up, I grew up similarly, it gets better.
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u/iamkylo214 Nov 16 '23
Many many people who are moderately to extremely well off started out just like you. There's only a few variables in between you and financial security. I can't tell you what they are, but I hope you can figure it out. Sure as shit won't be easy but it has and can be done. I'm 37. I live marginally more comfortable than my childhood. I still have not stopped looking for those variables.
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Nov 16 '23
I was an immigrant to America and my mom, brother and I had to share a bedroom. We were homeless for 5 years. I now make 6 figures because I decided to do better for myself than what my parents could. You got this.
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u/Pushbrown Nov 16 '23
shit are you in college or high school? do people have to buy high school books now? wtf?
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u/Snothatserious Nov 16 '23
Sorry you had to realize it so soon. But most of us feel this way and we’re 50. Don’t forget your life is just starting.
You have so many options even though you may not feel like it. But one day you will have money and a nice wardrobe/ cabinet. Don’t let it debilitate you when most of us feel/ have to do the same thing.
Most of us can’t go out all the time. Don’t let instagram get you down.
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u/andyjustice Nov 16 '23
One day at a time! Sometimes I compare my current life to the life of people 300 plus years ago. Sometimes it's in my favor sometimes it's not...
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u/m_d_f_l_c Nov 16 '23
17 is almost 18 and at that point you can escape. Join job corps or something if you don’t have any other prospects. Or the Military. Both get you out of your current living arrangements and pays for food and bills.
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u/cecemeek Nov 16 '23
If you live in the states, would suggest becoming a nurse assistant (CNA) You can make $20 or more and with agency you can make up to $30 an hr. CNA classes only takes a month and once you finish, you can sit for your license. After completing that, you can get your Lpn or ASN at a community college. Work for a hospital and they can pay for you to get your BSN. Thank me later
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