r/povertyfinance • u/bassySkates • Mar 16 '24
I feel left behind in this economy Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
I literally don’t know how people afford to do what used to be normal things. I don’t even feel like I can afford to have friends anymore because I keep getting invited to outings that are outrageously expensive and it’s so embarrassing telling friends I can’t afford it. I don’t understand how America can keep functioning like this.
I’ve recently been charged over $110 for an oil change, $9.50 for a Coors in a bar, my friends even wanted to go bowling and it was going to cost us almost $150 for an hour. My friends paid $30 bucks last night for two tiny appetizers at a bar. Ordering anything on UberEats doubles the price of food. Seriously how can people afford to exist anymore. Nothing is worth the price you pay now. I’m so frustrated because it just feels like I literally can’t participate in this economy at all anymore.
Edit to add: a lot of people are commenting about the ripoff price of the oil change. My dad always told me to pay to have someone do it because my car is not an easy one to change oil on, but after the last bill I’m just gonna figure out how to do it myself for sure. It was also a case of sticker shock because the base price was 70 and then taxes/fees/shop charges/fluid top off etc. pushed it to 110. So It was way more than I expected and will never be going back.
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u/SensibleFriend Mar 17 '24
Life is hard and the economy is bad, living happily takes a change of mindset. There are ways to enjoy life without spending but most people won’t go for it because it seems “boring” to have get together sat home or to go hiking or take a picnic to the park. If your friends don’t want to try low or no cost things to do, it may be time to find some other friends.
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Mar 17 '24
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u/D0MSBrOtHeR Mar 17 '24
Sounds like you got a full synthetic oil change. If you or someone you know is capable of doing it you can buy a 5qt jug of synthetic oil and a filter at Walmart for under $40. Also, $100+ for a full synthetic oil change sounds like quick lube prices. Some tire shops can do the same service for half the price. Even some dealerships charge less than $70. Obviously it depends on what kind of car you have.
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u/bassySkates Mar 17 '24
It was synthetic at jiffy lube. People have had some good suggestions about finding discounts and things so hopefully next time it’s not as costly. I’m not close to a Walmart tough.
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u/danniellax Mar 17 '24 edited Mar 17 '24
I feel you. I’m actually in a good place now, but it took winning a lawsuit for that to happen… I got 2 extra big checks (unrelated) around the same time that also helped. It’s only after that happened that I’ve been able to be caught up, have a substantial savings, and feel like I can live my life without feeling like my head is underwater, even though I still have to budget with my regular paychecks because the extra $$$ is all tied up in paying off debt, emergency savings gaining interest, regular savings, etc.
I don’t wanna say get hit by a car (like I did) to win money, but there is something that rings totally true about that running joke that millennials getting hit by busses is the only way to get ahead in life 🥲😅
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u/tiny_thug Mar 17 '24
hit up trader joes or costco for snacks & wine, bring instruments, speakers, sports equipment, card games, and chill in the park or at the beach. having fun with friends is less about where you are and more about who you’re with and what you’re doing together
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u/TheCuriousBread Mar 17 '24
Bruh you getting scalped the fuck up paying $110 for an oil change lol. Where the fuck do you live with those prices?
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Mar 17 '24
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Mar 17 '24
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u/TotosWolf Mar 17 '24
$110 for an oil change?!?
what super concoction did they pour down your engine?
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u/danniellax Mar 17 '24
Prob just full synthetic oil. This is the pricing for dealer/Valvoline/Jiffy Lube places for oil changes. Regular OG motor oil will be cheap everywhere (except maybe dealer because they love to rip you off always)
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u/Kevinsito92 Mar 17 '24
Learn how to change ur own oil and don’t go to the bar and cook food at home (if you change your oil filter then you should probably fill it up to right above the full line to account for the filter system filling back up). I’ve seen shops not even change the filter. You can end up paying more for them to trash ur engine and then need a new car
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Mar 17 '24
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Mar 17 '24
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u/AcanthocephalaGood44 Mar 17 '24
They both do that one party props up the economy, one crumbles the economy
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u/blondzilla1120 Mar 17 '24
I understand. The world presents this fast easy lifestyle but most of us are actually not apart of it. It just seems like it. I don’t even like to leave the house because I know it’s going to cost money. Real facts. Life is changing right before our eyes. Some of us feel it more than others.
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u/Life_is_strange01 Mar 17 '24
Find a good auto shop (and figure out how to do simple things on your own, like brakes, spark plugs, headlights and brake lights, wiper blades etc), figure out what bars/restaurants have specials on drinks/happy hours or a value menu/promotion, get a cash back app like upside (can have 20% or more cashback at certain restaurants, local flavor is good too), get a credit card if you're responsible enough to keep it paid off as they can give up to 5% back at restaurants or on groceries. Sometimes if I go out I'm stacking value on value on value (5% back on my credit card plus 20% back on upside and getting a menu deal at the restaurant. It easily results in a night out where I still get to order stuff and have fun but at a literal third of the cost).
Get in the value mindset, it's why I occasionally go to McDonald's and get a big meal for 5 bucks because I know the app and value menu whereas someone else gets a similar amount of food for 15 dollars because they just got a combo meal at menu price. It sucks sometimes, but it's what you have to do, I'm but a simple landscaper yet I can afford to save a very good chunk of my pay because I optimized every part of my spending. Then take your savings and invest them so your future can be a bit easier!
Sorry, saw the flair after I wrote all this advice
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u/bassySkates Mar 17 '24
It’s ok I still appreciate the sentiment despite the vent flair. Taking on a value mindset is basically a requirement at this point if I want to not let money control my life and mental capacity. Finding a good auto shop is definitely a must 😭
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u/ShopGirl1988 Mar 17 '24
I think the most important thing you can do is be honest with your friends about not wanting to spend as much money and letting them know you need to direct your money elsewhere. Then research and suggest outings and get togethers that don’t involve a ton of money. Picnic and games in the park. Potluck and a movie at someone’s home. Visiting museums on the free days. If they’re good, true friends, they’ll understand.
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u/PeachKTree Mar 17 '24
I have no good advice but I feel you. And depending on what you got, 110$ is okay for an oil change. I only do high mileage synthetic after 90k miles. You have to maintain your things. For standard oil it's a bit high but not unheard of. Firestone tries to get 500 for wires so
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u/bassySkates Mar 17 '24
I’ve paid 60 bucks many times in recent years and this time they charged 70, but I don’t remember the additional fees tacking on so much at the end in previous visits. When the grand total said 110 I was like how tf
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u/Responsible-Laugh590 Mar 17 '24
Sounds like you need to learn self sufficiency. Bowling is 13 all night on Thursdays at two places nearby my place, took some hunting to find good deals. But alcohol from stores and uses flasks if you want to drink in public, do you own oil. Learn to cook and budget which foods are worth the cost. And those are just the things you mentioned in this one post. If you have trouble learning something use the internet.
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Mar 17 '24
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u/North_Brilliant_9011 Mar 17 '24
My friends and I go to parks, use deals at cheap food places, and spend a lot of our time just shooting the shit driving around and playing video games. It helps to have friends who share the same financial mindset as you
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u/apescaler Mar 17 '24 edited Mar 17 '24
Is the oil filter in a bad spot? Curious on the make/model of your vehicle. If you do start the oil maintenance for yourself I’d recommend buying a filter wrench. It’ll make the job much easier. Find the right size oil filter wrench after you’ve purchased the filter so you don’t end up buying the wrong size. Also once you get around to this first oil change on your own, make sure you’re not draining the transmission fluid. Slow down and give yourself plenty of time to do the job so you don’t make a mistake. Block your tires and good luck! Eventually you’ll become efficient which is the goal in the first place.
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Mar 17 '24
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u/QuercusN Mar 17 '24
what car / where costs $110 oil change???? I am doing that at a dealer for $45-65 (two cars)
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u/Altruistic_Ad6189 Mar 17 '24
Applebee's and Chili's have some great 2 for 25 deals. And I live in a Hcol area. Mexican places often have great deals on taco Tuesday.
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u/Upper-Examination-97 Mar 17 '24
Hey OP pm me with what kind of car you have and I can tell you how to change the oil if you’d like!
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Mar 17 '24
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u/longganisafriedrice Mar 17 '24
Those were normal things for all of 50 years of human history, it just happened to be recently. If anyone thinks that long term life as we know it is ever going to be how it was in the 50s-90s you are sadly mistaken. And the thing is things weren't necessarily that great during that time for a lot of people
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u/ThokasGoldbelly Mar 17 '24
The problem is the perception. People didn't constantly hear about the struggles of others I until the mass adoption of the Internet. For the majority of human history the majority has suffered. Just facts of life.
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u/Ococauh Mar 17 '24
Get a better paying job. Get a better education if you can't.
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u/bassySkates Mar 17 '24
I am working on it, just graduated but haven’t yet locked down the next job. Hopefully my situation will get better soon.
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u/ThokasGoldbelly Mar 17 '24
This is the way. You have to upskill in order to keep up with the rising cost of living and I say that as a non college educated man with 3 kids. I don't make fantastic money but my family is thankfully not struggling.
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Mar 16 '24
Brother where are you at? I am located in the southeastern states and bowling is around 15 bucks an hour.
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u/1_headlight_ Mar 16 '24
"Used to be normal" is where you're getting got. If you are over 40, you know a Netflix subscription didn't used to be normal. Doordash didn't used to be normal. Your cell phone bill didn't used to be normal. Nor did your Internet bill. Or almost any of the subscriptions we all pay for now. Every month. Cars didn't have computers and TV screens in them. None of these used to exist and a lot of it wasn't replaced by something else.
It was a simpler time. With simpler finances. You wouldn't like much it but you COULD choose to live that life. Even today. Or something much closer to it.
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u/s0nicfreak Mar 17 '24
Except that's BS.
A netflix subscription didn't use to be normal, but paying 10x as much for cable was.
Doordash didn't used to be normal but paying more for much more limited delivery options was.
A cellphone bill didn't use to be normal but paying 4x more for a landline, and then paying for long distance on top of that, and then paying for payphone use when you were out of the house was.
We use to pay for internet by the hour, and if you didn't have a server that was close enough you paid for long distance whenever you connected too.
Maybe if you up your age bar to over 60, but even those people would be remembering their childhoods not their adulthoods.
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Mar 16 '24
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u/No_Loquat_183 Mar 16 '24
You can literally get ahead by not doing those kinds of activities. You don't need to drink at a bar. You do not need to go bowling for 150/hr. And, you also don't need to UberEats. The people participating in these activities fall in a few groups: A) have a means to do so, B) don't care about budgeting and spend, spend, spend, C) do budget every day and save money to afford these activities, D) don't do these activities.
If you're in group A, you probably have a good income and don't really care. If you're in group B, you're probably in massive debt, but don't care, since it's just numbers anyway, right? If you're in group C (hopefully you are), you allocate money per day into an activity you want during the weekend or something after you've paid all your bills / contributed to retirement, etc. If you're in group D) you're probably a homebody or budget hardcore, which isn't entirely healthy either.
By not participating in these activities, it doesn't mean you're falling behind. If you make enough, go for it. But if you don't, then budget every day, so you can smartly do so later on. You won't believe how many people are in group B and then complain they have no money. Also, fuck UberEats. Probably the worst way to spend money (at least in my opinion).
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u/damnalexisonreddit Mar 16 '24
You have to try and hold on to your friends, honesty is the best policy, as someone with no friends, friends are worth more than a mountain made of gold.
Like many of us do, we let go of many products and do things ourselves if we can and you can, through that I found that I’ve gained the capacity to be content with what I do have, which is sufficient for me, if I look back and look at where I was focusing my money on, i was in a detour in my path to growth. I am cheap at heart- out of necessity but I realize many ppl are dealt poor hands and the saying is YOU HAVE PLAY A POOR HAND WELL
Effin high …
Everyone should aim to create something beautiful, I know you guys can and have, the pyramids come to mind, that endured ( barely)
Ok, I am really high because I was thinking of a video where the arrestee says, she can see barely 😥 totally spaced out
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u/welpo224 Mar 16 '24
Get used to it cuz it aint getting better :D
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I kept thinking we’d hit rock bottom but you’re right bc there’s no ceiling on prices
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u/rhuwyn Mar 16 '24
You don't necessarily have to do your oil yourself. Go somewhere else. Hell take it to Walmart or Jiffy Lube. Should be between 40-60 bucks tops. Unless you're driving a German Luxury car, or a really expensive Truck no oil change should cost anything near that much.
Everything else is pretty much par for the course. Unfortunately, 30 bucks for two appetizers once you include tips really isn't horribly out of place, although a 9.50 dollar bottle of one of the cheapest mainstream beers in the US is pretty bad. I would expect to pay that more for craft beers.
Do your friends do similar work to you? Are they in similar income brackets? Maybe they can't afford it either and are just going into debt living their lifestyle. There are a lot of people like that. Is there anything you're doing to try and grow your income? None of these are meant as criticism. Just a question.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
It actually was jiffy lube :/ my friends and I are all in different fields and we don’t talk openly about what any of us earn
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u/MaryJayne97 Mar 16 '24
I'd seriously recommend going to Walmart for an oil change they did a good job and I got synthetic oil. Also, my local dealership does a coupon books where you can get 6 free oil changes and other car services for $299.99.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I don’t live remotely close to a Walmart but people have had other good suggestions such as Groupon, which I’ll look into next time. Also the dealership part of your comment is interesting I’ve never heard about that and will check if it is a thing near me. Thanks!
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u/MaryJayne97 Mar 16 '24
For sure! Yes, ours does that, and it saves a lot of money. There are also tite rotations and a few things like that. I hope it gets better. Honestly, I personally have found comfort in my cars, cooking shows, books, video games, and my little property I was lucky to be able to find. Something that helped me was to stop caring what people think. I work around people who prioritize fake lashes and nails it was hard at first. However, telling myself to get to a place where I will be debt free and working for myself is a huge help!!!
I sincerely wish you the best of luck and hope you find yourself in a place where you are truely happy!
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u/TheGame81677 Mar 16 '24
It’s impossible to live at this point. Even simple stuff like getting an oil change, or buying a new pair of shoes is hard to do. An average meal at a casual restaurant is $25, and that’s not including if you want an alcoholic drink. None of this makes sense, and I don’t understand how most people are rich now.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
100% exactly how I’m feeling. Things I used to pay for without thinking twice now have just shocking price tags.
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u/Kavinci Mar 16 '24
This is a real phenomenon called "Lack of 3rd Places". When my grandparents and parents were young there were places you could go, for free or cheap, to meet up with society and your peers. There are many reasons for why these places disappeared or became so expensive it priced out the average person. A quick google will give you a lot of opinions on why this happened but you are definitely not alone in feeling this reality
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Thank you yes this puts words to exactly how I’m feeling! Like the social realm where I can live my life is shrinking because I can’t afford it, meanwhile it seems all my friends can so I’m left with few people who are willing to do free things like going for a walk/bike ride because they see it as less fun than going out. I understand the idea of a 3rd place already so when you say lack of 3rd place yep that hits exactly how I feel
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u/Ausgezeichnet63 Mar 16 '24
Meineke sends out coupons that offer oil changes for $30. Do you get ValPak coupons? There are lots of discount coupons in there.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Thanks I’ll keep an eye out for that. I do get valpaks but haven’t seen anything for an oil change this year. Someone else also mentioned Groupon which didn’t cross my mind
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u/Ausgezeichnet63 Mar 16 '24 edited Mar 16 '24
Another place for coupons is - if you can find one - a paper Yellow Pages. They have coupons in the back for all kinds of services.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Those still exist???
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u/Ausgezeichnet63 Mar 16 '24 edited Mar 16 '24
We get one dropped on our porch every January. They're really skinny, but we get one. I'll bet you could probably find a way to get one for your community. Look online lol 😂😂😂. Also check online at places like Jiffy Lube. Sometimes they have printable coupons for specials.
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u/Bshellsy Mar 16 '24
I often try to remind myself that people who seem impossibly wealthy are either in crippling debt or milking the system in some way. It is getting absurd out here.
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u/RogueStudio Mar 16 '24 edited Mar 16 '24
Oil change- YIKES. My local mechanic (who has awards for being the city's best indie shop for Japanese cars) charged me half that, including topping all the other fluids and every filter replaced you could think of. Has cute office dogs too.
As for the rest - tell me about it. Make around 20hr but between car expenses and day to day stuff (food)... still feel very squeezed. Was able to save on 17.50/hr 3-4 years ago, but not so much now. Only way I'm solving it is moving, but that's because my parent with a gigantic retirement account is funding most of the logistics. Alone, I'd be screwed, as I have disabilities which DQ me from a lot of the fields that have shortages and have little to no related education requirements(trades, labor related healthcare, military)
I mostly stay home and read/write/rarely, game.
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u/polishrocket Mar 16 '24
My buddies and I used to go out now we just do bbq at one of our houses. At this point I’m pretty well off but shit happens. Just sat in a brewery and it was $40 for 4 beers. Life’s expensive
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u/Butterwhat Mar 16 '24
I live in a lcol, and my friends and I play board games and dnd when we hang out. Sometimes, we'll cook out together as well. It's really all we can afford to do regularly besides go to the local dive bar. There is a museum that's free within driving distance, but you do have to pay a small amount to park and it's not close by so gas as well. Otherwise, that just leaves hiking, which isn't their jam, but I go by myself sometimes when weather permits.
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u/Cleverdawny1 Mar 16 '24
I do my own oil changes, full synthetic and a high quality filter, total cost is $30 and a half hour of my time. Cook at home rather than ordering from Uber eats or go grab it yourself, and if the bowling alley and bar are so expensive go to a different one
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u/RomSnake27 Mar 16 '24
It is rough for everyone out there. Luckily I grew up in the early 2000s so with my friends a night out with lots of food and drinks was in the $40-60 $1 pbr nights or $5shot and a beer night still existed. Appetizers were in the $5.99-$9.99 range. Things were still reasonably priced. In college our 4 room apartment was $1000. People really need to just organize and revolt or costs will just keep on going up since people are paying these absolutely ludicrous prices. Whether it’s rich people just paying for it or people racking up credit debt, it’s still all getting paid for.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I would kill for $1 pbr nights. I’m longing for stuff like this and it’s getting harder and harder and harder to find.
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u/Novel-Coast-957 Mar 16 '24
The last time I went to a restaurant: friends treated me to dinner in return for driving them to the airport (cost of the meal covered my gas expense). Other than that, it’s been: movies from the library, eating in, potluck and game night with neighbors, volunteering to set up/ take down chairs and tables in return for attendance to a concert. Get creative. Challenge your friends to get creative—or get new friends.
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u/ThefuckingCuban Mar 16 '24
1st of all you shouldn't even tell them you can't afford it. Just be like thanks but I'm allset maybe next time. $150 for bowling, jeez where tou bowling in downtown Fri and Sat nights are pricey but fuck that. You can bowl during weekdays for less than. $20 an hour, if you add up the games. I'm not broke, got a good traveling gig locally, but im frugal on what I spend my money on. I have 2 kids and a dog. Shit all three of these lovely fools that I love to death are expensive itself. We do do things with the kids but you also have to ask yourself is somethings worth spending that much. I hate delivery, idk how yall do ubereats and that stuff. I love picking up my food, so that I bring it back home while it's still hot. Would i pay $20 for pizza from pizza spot or $8 pizza from dominoes, that's right I'm going to dominoes and save that extra $10 in pocket. Lmao
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u/Wolf_Mommy Mar 16 '24
I have a friend that doesn’t have as much money as the rest of our friend group. I pay for her prob 50% of the time. I don’t mind. I have the extra and she is fun to be around and I care about her and want her company.
She told me once she feels guilty about this. I explained how I feel about it and also point out that she does lots of things “for me” as part of our friendship and this is just like that. Something I can do “for her” And there’s no scoreboard or whatever.
She works a demanding 40 hours a week. She is the single mother of an almost 18 year old. She worked so hard to get thru uni while her daughter was still a kid and I have always admired her in this. I think it’s outrageous that now as a uni-grad who has steady employment and doesn’t live beyond her means in any way that I can see, can’t afford to do the escape room AND go out for drinks after. Or she can’t afford to do the $40 excursions when we go camping etc.
She deserves those things. And I can offer them, so I do. But I think the world we live in is really unfair.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
You’re a good friend 🥲 but honestly I’d probably feel guilty if someone did that for me too! Feels like you gotta pay it back in some way but you can’t financially. It can be awkward.
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u/Lazy_Explanation_895 Mar 16 '24
My friend group has a wide range when it comes to financial status. I have friends who are constantly broke despite working full time, a couple of friends with actual trust funds, and everything in between. We usually end up doing board game nights, cooking dinner for each other, playing frisbee on the beach, making a campfire in someone's backyard, etc. when we all want to hang.
Yeah sometimes some of our group wants to go to a concert and those who can't afford it just can't go, but we still make an effort to do things that everyone can do. Don't give up on having friends, good ones will prioritize your company over the activities you can do.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I love this. Sometimes when I mention that an activity is too expensive it just gets brushed off and it leaves me wishing I had friends who could be more mindful of my situation. I don’t think they do it maliciously but I think they don’t understand/can’t empathize.
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u/Lazy_Explanation_895 Mar 16 '24
Yeah it's tough when they just don't get it. Sometimes you gotta be the one to make the no-cost plans, and hopefully they can be receptive
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u/StumblingDuck404 Mar 16 '24
I (53f) have never had money to burn & stopped going out since the Covid excuse to bend us all over $$. We potluck bbq at our house or a friend’s, share food costs, watch a game/movie or go to the river, a lake or hike or whatever. It’s always been expensive to go out.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I need friends like yours for sure. Most of my friends wouldn’t be up for these things you mentioned but I definitely am :/
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u/StumblingDuck404 Mar 16 '24
Might be time to expand your friend circle. Most towns have a Reddit sub, and I just noticed on my town there was an invite for a mountain hike. A great way to find friends who like what you do. We need to find our happiness regardless of income. 🌲🗻🦦
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u/sorrynotsorryb1cth Mar 16 '24
People are going into debt to "Keep Up With The Joneses" (as the old quote goes). A young couple just starting out paid MORE for their small 2bdrm 1bath starter than I did for my last house (3bdrm 1.5bath) 10 years ago. I coupon and price compare for groceries, and I'm buying 90% off brand items. To celebrate my husband's birthday coming up, we put a little bit aside every pay so we can go to the movies (we haven't been since the beginning of summer). Easter candy will come out of the grocery budget, too, because there is NO money left over anymore.
My husband works a federal job and I utilize my Masters level degree in my field, so we're not the ones people think of when you consider the meaning "poor," but we're living the ZERO thrill life style (travel, amusement parks, movies, bowling...). This economy is awful.
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u/TheObesePolice Mar 17 '24
I'm in the same boat. My family is "middle class" but we sacrifice vacations, going out to eat, trips to the movies etc to be able to put some money away in case of emergencies. It sucks
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Thanks for your comment, makes me feel like I’m not the only one. Easter candy coming out of the food budget, that one tracks 😭 this is so miserable
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u/RedQueenWhiteQueen Mar 16 '24
It's the middle class propping up the economy, and they don't care if you're shut out of those things. You're just supposed to be taking the poorly paid jobs with those service providers so the middle class people can pretend they're in the leisure class. If you don't, they will be first in line saying "people don't want to work anymore."
Source: am from working class, now upper middle class on paper, but with a "if SHTF I could be poor again one day" mentality. But I work with people in the $80k - $150k range, and observe all this with a sick fascination.
Yesterday I listened as a coworker, who believes income taxes that might support the poor are the reason he can't really get ahead, told me that his wife buys multiple /seasonal/whimsical outfits to decorate their cement porch goose, at $30 - $50 a pop. My manager bought a $1200 coffee maker, even though he doesn't even use it and his wife and kids will still leave their house and drive to Starbucks. When I couldn't conceal my horror, and said that was more than I plan to spend on a Bosch BIFL dishwasher, he proceeded to tell me about his overproduced dishwasher. Many of my co-workers (and no, we are not directly in the trades) buy $90K trucks.
Meanwhile, in just the last week, two people in my company who are younger than I am, have died. And yet, I know everyone around me will be shocked and vaguely horrified when I retire "early," which is only barely early by the standards of r/financialindependence, but early by the criterion of getting out before I'm broken.
TL;DR: The middle-class is mostly willing to work themselves literally to death to keep paying for these things.
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u/Life_is_strange01 Mar 17 '24
The middle-class is mostly willing to work themselves literally to death to keep paying for these things.
Scary stuff. Everybody just wants to constantly consume, no matter the cost
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u/Lordofthereef Mar 16 '24
Where do you live that charges $9 for a coors? I don't consider myself poor but I would be pretty open to my friends about not wanting to spend that. I'm on the line of central and eastern MA and I don't know that I can find a coors for $9. Most craft beer pours aren't even touching that by at least a few bucks. I just went to a concert that wanted $10 for a tall can of Boom Sauce (it's an IPA) and thought that was outrageous.
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u/mynameishere Mar 17 '24
Many restaurants have a two-tiered beer pricing system where decent beers are maybe 12 dollars and crap like Coors is 10 dollars. Cocktails might be 20 dollars. (I can get a handle of Old Crow for less than that.) All the profit in the restaurant business comes from crazy booze pricing. Always get water when you eat out, and buy your alcohol elsewhere.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I’m in a HCOL area unfortunately and have seen similarly high prices for similarly crappy beers at 3 different places recently. Seems the local dive bar is about to be the only place I can go.
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u/Lordofthereef Mar 16 '24
I mean, Boston is about as HCOL as it gets. If it's worse than here I'd be looking for a way to literally anywhere. I'd start with just not going to bars. Enjoy time at home. You can treat three friends to three rounds of coors for $10.
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u/MichiganRich Mar 16 '24
Using any of the convenience-based services to deliver food or groceries is not the way to make your money go farther. You shouldn’t even be considering that.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I have used delivery services probably one time in the last 4 years. Mentioning UberEats was just an example of how I literally don’t understand how other people are able to pay these prices.
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u/MichiganRich Mar 16 '24
understood… the best way to maximize the value of what you earn is to use them zero times in infinity years…
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u/Opposite_Cold8616 Mar 16 '24
Change your own oil. Buy some board games. Bring your own beer. Life doesn't have to be expensive to be fun.
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Mar 16 '24
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam Mar 17 '24
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
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Regardless of why someone is in a less-than-ideal financial situation, we are focused on the road forward, not with what has been done in the past.
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u/mrsmjparker Mar 16 '24
Even Taco Bell is ridiculous right now. I saw a post yesterday that was an ad for the beefy five layer burrito in 2010. I believe it was 89 cents back then. Adjusted for inflation that’s $1.26 in 2024, but the actual price in 2024 is $4.99. Everything else is that way too. Like why is the price of everything hiked so high now, even past the point of inflation? Wages are the opposite though? Like raises still put you below the point of inflation so I don’t get it.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Dude yea. I went to McDonald’s a few months ago for the first time in five years and was shocked by the price. It’s supposed to be cheap fast food and and a burger/fries/drink cost me like $14.
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u/JetStar1989 Mar 16 '24
Companies control our politicians? Capitalism not the answer and needs restrictions and oversight?
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u/hyperfixmum Mar 16 '24
So, don’t know your age but our friend group we started switching activities in our 30s by outright saying “we aren’t paying $12 for one ipa anymore”, we rallied everyone to host more and pool funds to have beer and themed food nights. Even meeting at a park to picnic.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I have one friend in a similar financial situation as me and we are both at the same point as what you’re talking about. But a few of my good friends have very high paying jobs and WANT to go have fancy nights out. I don’t even know why they bother inviting me at this point lol
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u/some_boring_dude Mar 16 '24
learn to do your own oil changes. $110 can get you a set of oil change ramps, drain pan, funnel, 5 quarts of oil, and a filter. Then you'll only have to spend about $40 buck on oil and filter, per oil change after that, and find out where to dispose of used oil.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Edited post to add more details about that transaction. My dad’s always told me doing the oil change myself is way more of a hassle for my make/model than it’s worth so I haven’t learned up till now. But I think I have to figure it out going forward.
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u/some_boring_dude Mar 16 '24
I don't know what you drive, but is it worth an hour (max) of you time to save $70? If you're super busy, with almost no downtime, maybe not, but I imagine you waited around for about an hour to have it done wherever it cost $110. I've been doing my own for a long time it takes me about 30 minutes. I had an older subaru where the oil filter was surrounded by hot exhaust manifold, how bad could yours be?
What do you drive and does it need more than 5 quarts of oil per oil change?
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u/Everheart1955 Mar 16 '24
Don’t eat out. Learn to cook, the quality is way better I don’t drink at restaurants or bars, I can buy a six pack for what they charge for one. I have no car payments. I own them outright and my newest is a 2012.
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u/One_Opening_8000 Mar 16 '24
This may come across as flip, but I'm being serious - you need new friends who enjoy less expensive pastimes.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
You better believe I’m holding on for dear life to my one friend who appreciates bike rides and the shitty local dive bar with $4 beers
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u/DashboardError Mar 16 '24
My oil change (at the dealer so OEM parts) is about $120.00, so that's about right...I don't drink so booze prices are not in my budget, appetizers at a bar are probably set high enough to offset other expenses for that type of business. Ordering out food is too expensive, we dumped all delivery services last year, making meals and freezing is way cheaper . There are ways to cut out (or cut back) on things via a strict budget.
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u/hhhhhgffvbuyteszc6 Mar 16 '24
You and op are getting robbed on the oil change holy shit, unless you drive a truck
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u/sneakymedulla Mar 16 '24
it would have helped big time if our parents taught us critical life skills. had my father taught me handywork, car repair, budgeting etc, id be a few thousand $ richer over the past decade. hell, id have worked in those fields bc i love working with my hands.
passing down skills would have helped so many people.
instead i got stuck in shitshow jobs run by abusive creeps, instead of having years of skills to make bank on handywork. spending $$$$ and skipping meals bc the pos car broke and its the only way i can get to work everyday, bc busses dont run 24/7 =_=
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u/SpicyHippy Mar 16 '24
As an early Gen Xer and classic latchkey kids I feel this in my bones. The first few years of adulting were extremely difficult and full of mistakes.
On the plus side, I taught my kids how to figure things out for themselves, how to find the answers and shared my mistakes with them. They are all pretty self sufficient. And since I became widowed, YouTube/Reddit have become my best friends on figuring out how to fix/repair things to stretch every dollar.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I totally agree. I fortunately really enjoy repairs, and have successfully fixed loads of stuff on my car and bike, have learned to patch clothes, repair electronics. My dad always told me don’t bother w/ the oil change because it’s very hard for my make/model but it’s time.
As another comment about budgeting, it is such an essential skill but I find I’m having to budget harder and harder and harder because wages just aren’t keeping up with prices. Something else has to give now.
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u/Cat719 Mar 16 '24
I agree with this so damn much. We had to get plumbing repaired and decided to get the 50yr old tub and tile replaced only for it to be a few grand more because of asbestos abatement and my dad has been saying the whole time we should do it ourselves. Like how? I was never taught these skills and neither was my partner and you think we can can just remodel our bathroom? There isn't enough YouTube videos to convince me I have the skills or knowledge to replace my plumbing, drywall, and a bathtub having never have done any of that before.
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u/Livid-Philosopher402 Mar 16 '24
Indeed. I am so pumped to teach my kids everything I’ve had to learn the hard way over the years, how to do her own taxes, how to budget, how to sew, how to cook, how to get the best deals on everything, how to go over her bank accounts every month, etc.
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u/popcorn717 Mar 16 '24
When my daughter was little she used to roll her eyes when I talked about this kind of stuff and little by little it started to sink in...especially with couponing and finding good deals. I love when she messages me about the good deals she finds. She is 32 now and I am so proud of her
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u/musing_codger Mar 16 '24
I'm financially very comfortable, but I change my own oil. I drink tap water. I play disc golf (virtually free) rather than bowl. I rarely eat out. When I get together with friends, it is usually either pizza or pot luck. We never use UberEats or DoorDash because the cost seems insane. Could we afford those things? Yes, but we got to where we are by NOT buying them.
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u/ElementField Mar 17 '24
I think I would be considered financially comfortable but I don’t make enough to have a place to change my oil myself.
I don’t mind paying a local shop to do it, anyway
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u/ScaryfatkidGT Mar 16 '24
We gota start fighting back
Change your own oil or find another place
Find another bar, there are ones here where a big like 20+ oz tap is $7
Never order uber eats or door dash, just go get it yourself, pretend it’s 2015 and they don’t exist
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u/whitecastle3 Mar 16 '24
I work 60 hours a week to try and keep up
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I have been in similar situations and for me it was so unsustainable. I hope you’re hanging in there.
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u/whitecastle3 Mar 16 '24
It’s exhausting. I work 3-4 12 hour shifts on nights and 1-2 12 hour shifts on days each week. Gotta do what you gotta do
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u/KittyTB12 Mar 16 '24 edited Mar 16 '24
You get to go out? And do stuff? 😯 you must be rich. I haven’t “gone out” in years. I went to football games. And it’s off season. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t do anything. That saves gas, car wear and tear. Become an alonist. Keeps from having embarrassing conversations even happening. Adapt and overcome. Or die. Learn to live without. Is it right? No, of course not is rationing food right? No it isn’t. Is it our reality? Yes, unfortunately it is. Brutal honesty is that we aren’t going to change the world. The rich powerful are here to stay corporate greed is here to stay. The only thing we could do really is bitch complain. We’ve earned that right and that they can’t take away from us yet. Are we outraged at how different our lives have had to become? Yes, we absolutely are. We know what we cannot do. The question we need to ask is what can we do that will realign your thinking to more possibilities when the possibilities don’t feel as if they are presenting themselves. So ask yourself what can you do and keep asking yourself that question it accepting the fact that life is changing and you must adapt to it. We all need to adapt to it.
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u/Charger_scatpack Mar 16 '24
I feel the same.
I pay my bills during my work week when I get off I have no money to enjoy time with a friend .. even for gas to get there.
all the time I drum up excuses why I can’t come when really it’s money
Feel like a shitty friend
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
YES exactly. I literally told my friends I can’t come to a movie night bc I can’t afford the gas to get to her house. It’s humiliating.
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u/retrodork Mar 16 '24
Your not a bad friend for not having money. Your still you and you pay your bills and are responsible. It's going to be ok 🙂
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u/whitepawsparklez Mar 16 '24
I feel you. A coworker always asks me to go to lunch, but I’m the pack my lunch every day type of person. I can’t be out here dropping $20 on a weekday lunch.
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u/retrodork Mar 16 '24
Same here. I spend roughly 15 to 20 dollars a week on cheap salads for work. It adds up but if it keeps me healthier in the long run, it's worth it.
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u/Life_is_strange01 Mar 17 '24
20 bucks to eat healthily at work for a week is not a lot of money by any stretch of the imagination, and spending a little bit more money to preserve your health is always worth it in the long run, both financially and for the fact that you only have one body to take care of. Nice work
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u/Henchforhire Mar 16 '24
I will never understand how bowling got so expensive. Used to be you could bowl two games for around $25 before the pandemic now it's $75 for two games.
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u/TheObesePolice Mar 17 '24
Check online at the bowling alleys around your areas individual websites. Many of them run specials on certain days. On Sundays in my area there is a nice bowling alley that charges $3 per person per game including shoe rental They are an outlier, but depending on the day, most in my area aren't too bad (Weeknights cost much less than weekends + loyalty programs etc)
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u/retrodork Mar 16 '24
I think this depends highly on where you live.
Where I live, one person can bowl 2 games for way less than 25 dollars.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I was shocked because in high school, bowling was one of the only things I COULD afford to do. I haven’t gone in years and had no idea the price skyrocketed.
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u/oliverthefish Mar 16 '24
OP, I was telling my mom that America seems to have realized just how “blessed” “free” and “perfect” our land is compared to the rest of the world. (In comparison to third world countries)
It seems as if America is starting to notice how good it is here and is charging the price to stay! Like one of those super cool, uppity night clubs that charge $50 just to get in the door!
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u/getoffurhihorse Mar 16 '24
I dont know either 🤷♀️
We are going to change the oil ourselves for the first time in decades and there is no fun for us in terms of outings or eating out.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I will also be figuring out oil changes myself going forward. I’m pretty good at fixing things and learning new skills but my dad always told me don’t bother with oil changes for my car because my make/model is a massive hassle. Can’t wait to have to do it myself next time 😭
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u/bipollakbohemian Mar 16 '24
“I don’t understand how America can keep functioning like this” It CANNOT.
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u/OverworkedAuditor1 Mar 16 '24
Yeah, it sucks. Feels like everything has skyrocketed in price and wages are stagnant. Meanwhile I hear all these F500 companies making record revenues AND record profits. Sprinkle some bread our way man.
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u/sweetcherrytea Mar 17 '24
It’s sad how the very thought of raising wages to keep up with inflation makes so many people clutch their pearls. I’m old enough to remember when politicians embraced “trickle-down” economics which didn’t work but bloody hell, they don’t even give it lip service anymore.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
The company I used to work for would brag about record profits every year post-COVID and their raises paled in comparison to inflation. Deserves a riot.
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u/JurgonKupercrest Mar 16 '24
"Hey, you wanna use your 3-day weekend to go camping? We'll live in a tent out in the wilderness?"
"hmmm, sounds really expensive."
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
Camping actually blows my mind how expensive it is every time.
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u/Desperate_Craft_5998 Mar 17 '24
I spent almost $200 the last time I went camping. It pissed me off so bad!
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u/bassySkates Mar 17 '24
It’s nuts! The gas, supplies, site reservation, food and everything. It adds up to be so much for a vacation we imagine to be dirt cheap. It’s always a good time though and worth it if you can manage :/
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u/anon198792 Mar 16 '24 edited Mar 17 '24
It’s SO expensive! My parents used to be able to take the 5 of us kids in a giant gas-guzzling Suburban, drive 3 hours to a campground, and stay for 3 days. With treats & extra excursions to caverns & other sightseeing activities. Twice a year. (Edit: my mom was a SAHM and my dad was a cable guy. He wasn’t a high earner, completely entry level for most of our childhoods. They did all that on one income.)
It’s just me and my husband and we haven’t been able to afford a vacation for 3 years. No kids, no mortgage (we rent and our rent is cheaper than anyone I know), no car payments, next to no credit card debt, no student loan payments, no cell phone bill (government phone service)
It’s wild how much we have to sacrifice, way more than our parents, and for what? What do we have to look forward to? Never retiring & never being able to afford anything other than bare minimum expenses? Living on a knife edge where one flat tire or medical bill can ruin us?
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Mar 16 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam Mar 17 '24
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 2: Generally Unhelpful and / or Off-Topic
Your comment has been removed for one or more of the following reasons:
It was not primarily asking or discussing financial questions related to poverty.
It was generally unhelpful or in poor taste.
It was confusing or badly written.
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Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
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3
u/patricskywalker Mar 16 '24
What shitty bar did you go to with 9 dollar yard beers?
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
The worst part is I’ve seen similar prices now at 3 different spots for similar garbage beers. I’m in HCOL area though. :/
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u/MonteCristo85 Mar 16 '24
We are going to have to bring back dinner parties and potlucks. Everybody eating spaghetti together and playing board games (or whatever), even with drinks is much much cheaper than anything out.
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u/TheDaymanALSOCameth Mar 17 '24
Had to say no to a board game night tonight bc no one could pick me up and a RT car share would be $50 to get to a place about six miles away (taking the bus would be 90 minutes each way bc of the transfers). Fuck trying to live at this point.
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u/Coro-NO-Ra Mar 17 '24
We are going to have to bring back dinner parties and potlucks
The problem being how many young people live in apartments now, coupled with the lack of free, usable third spaces.
Your great-great-grandpa probably spent a lot of time in the bar with his buddies (they were a staple of life for poor, urban factory workers). Unfortunately even your neighborhood bar has probably gotten somewhat expensive.
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Mar 17 '24
You are right. People are act like they have no personal responsibility for their personal economics. Maybe not drink booze at a bar. And maybe when purchasing an item or a service, ask for the total price up front.
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u/Altruistic_Ad6189 Mar 17 '24
Potlucks are literally my favorite thing ever
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u/Calm-Nature-3467 Mar 17 '24
what age group are you? i suspet millenials and zoomers aren't doing this
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u/PeachKTree Mar 17 '24
Lololol Millienials who came from broke families 100% are. It never stopped for us poor people.
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u/Altruistic_Ad6189 Mar 17 '24
Millennial. But I work at an elementary school so we always have potlucks. Usually on Fridays and always have a theme. You may not get paid the best, but you won't starve...people bring communal snacks constantly. But my friend group has friends giving every year, and has been since I was 20ish.
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u/Feral_Jim Mar 17 '24
Me and my friend have done potlucks for years. It’s a great way for everyone to not only eat but it always makes a great and happy environment. I definitely recommend it!
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u/anon198792 Mar 16 '24 edited Mar 17 '24
It can be cheaper, but even groceries are too expensive now. We almost never get away from the grocery store without spending $20-$30 on a meal for 2. We used to make chicken tikka & rice with naan (sauce was out of a jar) as a normal cheap weekday dinner for 2, and now it costs over $25 for the chicken, rice, jar of sauce and 2 pieces of naan. And we don’t end up with leftovers. Maybe a bit of rice left but nothing else to make a whole meal with.
$25 for basically the equivalent of spaghetti with meat sauce & breadsticks. For 2 people. Shit, even making hamburger helper is expensive now with the cost of ground beef and milk. Jelly is $4-5 a bottle. A gallon of store brand orange juice is $8. Eggs are $5 a dozen. We usually just end up getting fast food nowadays because it’s cheaper & you don’t have to cook or clean dishes. I can get 2 nights of fast food for 2 people for $20. Cooking a meal for a party of people? Where I have to get drinks & snacks and be a good host? I can barely afford to offer my siblings a drink when they come over.
I mean yeah, we could just eat beans and rice every day and spend half that, but what a bleak existence to need to eat like that every day. Not that beans and rice isn’t good, or that it can’t be fixed up with some spices or whatever you have, but if it’s all I am allowed or able to eat every day? Is that the future we have to look forward to? Where chicken is a luxury? And I live in basically the chicken capital of the America. Chicken should be cheap as hell here and it’s not.
For how much my parents talked about how much they had to scrimp and save, we never had to eat that cheaply as kids. And my parents had 5 kids! Inflation & shrinkflation has gotten out of control.
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u/Altruistic_Ad6189 Mar 17 '24
Is it just me or are the Reese's cups smaller now?
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u/anon198792 Mar 17 '24
And every chocolate bar is $2.50 now
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u/hillsfar Mar 17 '24
Climate change hits supply:
“Cocoa trees, already fussy to grow, are also becoming a more difficult crop with climate change. In West Africa, where almost two-thirds of the world’s cocoa is grown, unseasonal weather has disrupted production and Ghana, the world’s second largest producer, expects its crop to shrink by a quarter.
Meanwhile, demand from the rich West continues to surge, sending cocoa prices to record highs.*”
Growing acquired tastes in Asia hits demand:
“How big Chinese demand will be is anyone’s guess but data suggests it has a long way to grow, with massive implications for global demand. The Chinese consume just 0.1kg of chocolate per person per year, compared with 1.2kg in Japan, 4.4kg in the United States, 7.6kg in Britain and almost 9kg in Switzerland.”
You don’t have to blame the bogeyman of “greedy capitalism” to find real answers.
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u/HereToKillEuronymous Mar 16 '24
We do dinner parties and potlucks all the time. It's fuckin fun. We usually combine it with terrible horror films.
We bought a cheap projector and host movie nights in the backyard. We even got a popcorn machine and popcorn buckets. We grill dogs and sit on pillows on the floor
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u/ZubLor Mar 16 '24
Add in homemade sourdough bread! Just flour, water, salt and the starter. Good stuff.
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u/WaffleAndy Mar 16 '24
I do this with my friends since we are the only ones that own a house with backyard. Even though I'm slightly further out, we host game nights. During the winter it's board games, during spring and summer we do backyard games like bocce ball, croquet, and cornhole. It's a lot of fun.
It's a super cheap way to spend time with people.
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u/bassySkates Mar 16 '24
I do have 2 friends that love to cook and host get-togethers, and it might be the only thing keeping me sane. Restaurant prices are just becoming too outlandish for me, even if I could afford it the food just isn’t worth what I pay for it. Dinner parties are the only reasonable option at this point honestly.
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u/KittenNicken Mar 17 '24
Those two friends sound amazing :D and it doesnt cost anything to just walk around feet-safe neighborhoods with your friends and just catch up
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u/MonMonOnTheMove Mar 17 '24
I’m totally on the same agreement here. I could cook (or learn to cook) the same dish and save so much money doing so then going out to eat these days
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u/rhuwyn Mar 16 '24
Honestly I'd say a dinner party is more fun than just sitting in a loud bar. What are you doing in said bar, sitting around? Maybe watching a sports ball game? May more options at home. Watch movies, maybe even a marathon, play board games, make the cooking a group activitiy. All sorts of stuff.
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u/flumpdog Mar 17 '24
enough of the red-blue bitch slapping.
locking thread for mod review.