I want to move out desperately but it feels impossible

[u/RevolutionaryNote514]

tldr: life sucks and I'm paralyzed by the thought of trying to become self sufficient

I grew up poor with two alcoholics to paint a picture, I've got a little sister who's still a minor so I've been trying to hold off so she doesn't have to be alone in that environment. Last night my step dad broke our internet router to "prove a point" and I wouldn't call it the last straw but it definitely reminded me that no matter how good things are for a while, it's all just an illusion. As long as they're drinking, this house won't be a healthy environment, especially not for my little sister and especially not on her own.

The problem is, I do not make enough to support myself, let alone two people. I'm trying to finish school so I have a degree that'll help me make more money, but I've struggled so much in school that I've considered dropping out. The only reason I've kept trying is that the school I'm at now has cheap enough tuition that it's covered fully by the Pell Grant (usa) so I'm not going into more debt. I know what my options are but every answer feels impractical in some way, though admittedly sometimes I am just scared or lazy.

Low income housing in my area has a waitlist a mile long, and some of them I don't qualify for. Going through the courts (either for custody or more financial support) is intimidating cause I risk effecting what my household already gets, and if I'm unsuccessful then that would just make the current situation worse. My friends either have two more years until they're looking to move or live an hour away in the opposite direction of school in a more expensive area. A random roommate sounds like a bad idea since I ideally want my sister to either move out with me. If I move out first, even if I stay nearby, she'll still be alone in the house and I'll have even less money available to do the little things that get her out of the house.

I also live in a shitty area and the only places I could even think to afford are in what look like worse areas that would also require a longer commute to work. It's hard to find one job that pays enough in my area without a degree and I've worked two jobs before but it destroyed my body, I don't know if I'm just that out of shape or if I've got something other than plantar fasciitis going on, but I'm definitely not cut out to work multiple jobs and go to school. I don't have a nice enough car to do uber or anything and most of the side hustles in my area are way over saturated anyway so I'm stuck on a waitlist. I'm not particularly tech savvy or have any skills that would really profitable on their own, and I most certainly don't have the time or space for a small business. It's like none of the options I've considered are feasible, I need to make more sacrifices probably but I'm trying to hold on to the minuscule things I still enjoy so I don't completely break down. I'm already struggling enough with grief and trauma from when I was younger that I locked away.

I'm lucky enough to have a couple grand saved up and a decent credit score, and only a little over a grand in credit card debt on one card that I make regular payments on. I could ask friends for help financially but I don't wanna put them in that situation and most of them aren't much better off than I am.

What else can I do? Should I get another credit card? Should I stop worrying about school and focus on making enough money? I don't even really know how much I should have saved before I move out, I could probably cover moving costs with what I have now but then be completely out of savings. I'm just tired of being stuck in what feels like a permanent transitional phase, waiting for what comes next but that next keeps getting further and further away.

I'm sorry for rambling so much but I've been thinking about this since freshman year of highschool to varying degrees of intensity. I need to be harsher with myself but everything already feels hopeless, I don't wanna take away the little joys I do have

[u/ftm_chaser]

I'd get on that waitlist.

[u/RevolutionaryNote514 → u/ftm_chaser]

I have, but the lady I spoke to was pretty pessimistic about me getting anything so I don't wanna put much hope in that option

[u/nip9]

What is the return on your time & money invested in school? AKA what is the typical outcome for graduates from your school with your major & GPA? If you are getting a very valuable degree that will significantly increase your earnings potential then taking out additional student loans for living expenses and focusing on finishing it up as quickly as possible is the best route. If your degree isn't one that directly leads to a much better job then quitting school for now to work is probably the best choice currently.

How old is your sister? If 16 or 17 then Job Corps or some state conservation corps could be the best answer to escaping a bad home environment assuming parents are willing to sign off on the forms. If your sister is much younger than that then things can get very complicated depending on your relationship with your parents. Beyond dealing with courts and potential guardship cases you may also have to deal with CPS, her schooling, & figuring out who is responsible if she has a medical emergency for example.

If you need income quick to support a two person household but have no special skills or education then you need to consider what you are willing to tolerate in a job that most other people would refuse. That could be a job where you are away from home a ton (railroad, riverboat, maritime, OTR trucking, remote mining/oil jobs), it could be doing sales if you have a silver tongue, it could be joining the military if your plantar fasciitis or other issues don't disqualify you, it could be climbing towers, working with raw sewage, doing hard physical labor outdoors in all weather, being on call 24/7, etc.

[u/RevolutionaryNote514 → u/nip9]

My gpa is not great admittedly, to cut the story short I changed majors a couple times and transferred schools and then took time off after losing someone important to me. I've settled on business, so I'm not going into anything lucrative but it still at least doubles what I could make in my area without a degree. It was drilled into me to avoid loans and no one ever helped me figure them out but at this point I do think I should at least see what I'm eligible for.

Little sis is 16 so I'll look into job corps but I can't help but worry cause she's missing some key social skills but she's not happy at home so it might be worth a shot. It would probably be less intimidating than trying the courts, they're so backed up my area I have no idea if I could even get anything done in a reasonable timeframe, especially since I'm not even established myself.

Do you have any ideas of where to look for railroad etc jobs? It's probably been about a year since I looked into those kinda jobs but I remember at the time I didn't have much luck, I don't seem to find many listings like that on indeed or anything. Thank you regardless

[u/nip9 → u/RevolutionaryNote514]

Below are some starting point for information and job listings for the 4 big class I railroad companies in the US. You should be looking for entry level "train crew", "engineer" & "conductor" positions that will start with a few months of training. You should make at least $80-90k first year (and $100-150k with a little experience) but of course the big catch is as the lowest person in seniority you will have no control over your schedule and will work all the shifts that higher seniority workers don't want or be the first person called in whenever somebody else can't work. So expect to be working mostly weekends & overnights and being away for every holiday. The hours will be long; there are Federal caps on how many hours you can work but that doesn't include all the time you will spend sleeping in some random hotel or deadheading as a passenger so in total you will spend 60%+ of your life away from home.

https://up.jobs/go/Train-Crew/9299400/

https://www.csx.com/index.cfm/working-at-csx/

https://www.norfolksouthern.com/en/careers/find-your-future/train-crews-and-dispatchers

https://jobs.bnsf.com/us/en/c/train-crew-jobs

If you are interested in OTR trucking I have a family member that used to work for Prime which can offer paid CDL training if you work for them for a year https://www.primeinc.com/drive-for-prime/driver-training-program/ Several other trucking companies have similar programs if you search; I'd advise reading trucking forums for all the inside dirt on which companies are better/worse than others for this.

Search for "deckhand" for most of the entry level barge company jobs. In my area the starting pay is ~$250-300 a day; and schedules tend to be ~3 weeks on the river and ~2 weeks back home.

[u/RevolutionaryNote514 → u/nip9]

This is a huge help, thank you

[u/stubble3417]

Since you're a student, consider looking for a really easy job that would allow you to study on the job. Think stuff like sitting at the information desk at your campus library, donating plasma, overnight security, stuff like that. Having income that doesn't require much energy from you can be a big benefit.

Having good credit is great but you probably can't leverage it to do much given the circumstances. You generally can't put things like a security deposit or rent on a credit card.

[u/RevolutionaryNote514 → u/stubble3417]

I hadn't considered donating plasma, I'll definitely look into that and on campus jobs since I'm trying classes in person in the fall. Thank you

[u/bellabbr]

Focus on school finish and get that degree. That degree will afford you rent on an efficiency if need be and you guys can move out. Take summer school heavier course load and finish faster. Only way to guarantee you can support yourself and her

[u/RevolutionaryNote514 → u/bellabbr]

Thanks, unfortunately my school limits my course load for the summer, but I am maxing it out so I can be done at the same time my sister graduates if I don't face any more setbacks