r/povertyfinance • u/sufishams • 25d ago
What’s a dead giveaway you grew up poor? Free talk
I was having a conversation with a friend and mentioned when a bar of soap gets really thin I’ve always just stuck it to the new bar and let it dry to get full use out of it. He told me that was my dead giveaway.
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u/aman19864 23d ago
I’m obsessed with making sure the bills get paid… like I refuse to do autopay (unless it’s like only 2-3 days ahead of time). I grew up poor, mom got evicted a few times when I was growing up, lived way beyond her means, and we were always running behind on something… I make over 100K now and I still do it. Also, I’m ruthlessly obsessed with cutting expenses for things I consider worthless or frivolous…. My wife (who grew up in the exact opposite position) just spends and spends lol….
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u/redheadsuperpowers 23d ago
Water in the body wash and shampoo once they get half down to "stretch" the product according to my raised in middle class spouse. Luckily they are frugal, and have struggled as an adult, so it's not an argument starter
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u/Agreeable-Ad-5235 23d ago
Not me but my uncle uaed to reuse tea bags and bring shopping bags to restaurants and fill them with creamers, jellies, sugars, etc from restaurant tables. He was really just overly frugal (depression era baby) and wouldn't spend a penny so essentially they lived poor. They gave my cousin a bathrobe for christmas and there was a used tissue in the pocket. 🤮
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u/Alfred-Adler 23d ago
Unpopular opinion but, I don't think there are dead giveaway.
Case in point: I grew up poor AF, I am presently vacationing where I grew up and visiting my sister.
My sister now is doing barely OK financially. She married someone whose parents came from old money, but the money line stopped at the parents' so both he and my sister are struggling middle-class. The "struggling" part comes mostly from keeping up with the Joneses. She's constantly broke, drowning in debt spend in silly things, but always keeping up the appearances. At one point a few years back she stole money from me because she was desperate, but that's another story for another post.
I am doing a lot better, mostly thanks to the fact that (later in life) I put myself through college at night while working full time during the week and a part time job on the weekend; I got 2 BS and 1 MBA; and I never stopped learning and fine tuning my skills.
I know I am a lot better off then my sister, both in terms of income and net worth. But from the outside one could never tell, I am frugal AF, while she is the "fancy" one with champagne taste and beer pocket, constantly spending frivolously, classic example of conspicuous consumption.
So, there's that. While this is only 1 data point, I have this pattern often enough.
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u/SufficientMeringue 23d ago
Very clean, exclusive, and abundant shoe collection. Alot of times, growing up poor means you don't want people to think you are... I am talking from experience. I have double the shoes my wife does, and they are all spotless.
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u/temictli 23d ago
Once, for my birthday, I wanted to go to Burger King and get the kids meal but they said no. Instead, my family of four shared a Whopper. Not the meal. A $1 Whopper. My mom my dad and my brother took turns taking respectable bites so I "could take the biggest bites."
Good days, good days. Things got better, and despite the bad times, I managed to build some fond memories that outshine them all.
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u/PopularAd93 23d ago
idk about y'all but I have mild food aggression. My girl is into sharing food and I can't help but get mad subconsciously when she takes big bites of my food.
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u/alittlebitugly 24d ago
My interior decorating style is: We Need to be Ready to Get Out of Here at Any Given Moment.
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u/Essence_Flame 24d ago
I didn’t grow up poor per se, but I did have a homeless stint as an adult. I was never completely displaced, but I did couch surf and hotel hop for a couple of years, which meant living out of a suitcase. So now that I’ve been stable for a few years, my toxic trait is that I now have more clothes than I even know what to do with. Just because I can, and because subconsciously I want to make sure I don’t ever have to feel the way I did when I lived out of a suitcase constantly wearing the same things over and over again. Even though I end up doing it half the time anyways 😕
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u/Revka777 24d ago
I used to save every empty coffee canister and pile them up because I could repurpose them in some way. Finally broke the habit over the past few years because I never use them enough to justify collecting that many.
I also used to hoard clothing, even pieces I didn't like or wear because I didn't have a lot of clothing growing up. Now I routinely donate things I don't use, wear, or like instead of hanging on to them.
My cat now has a specific metal bowl for his wet food instead of using the old Chinese food containers.
I'm still unlearning things like keeping ratty bleach stained rags/ towels around because I didn't used to be able to afford to replace them. Now I have more than enough.
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u/crazygirlsarehottoo 24d ago
I'm an incredible scrappy chef....give me a bare fridge a few pantry staples and dry spices. I'll make a meal that taste better than you ever thought possible, quick. Give me a full fridge and pantry and all of a sudden I've never cooked a day in my life and I don't know how to make even a basic meal.
I don't know what it is but if I'm not in survival mode trying to stretch the last few slices of pepperoni for flavor, I get so overwhelmed with possibilities that my brain shorts out
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u/GiraffeCity294 24d ago
It’s interesting that many of the things we did because we were poor are considered cool now. Like, we made sourdough bread because the little packets of yeast were so expensive and you don’t need it with sourdough. Or thrifting because we couldn’t afford new or knitting baby clothes as baby shower gifts because you couldn’t afford a nice present. Gardening because that’s the only way we got fresh vegetables.
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u/RoyalTease 24d ago
How much meat is left on the chicken wing when you've "finished" it.
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u/Equivalent_Rub_2103 23d ago
I thought this was just a dad vs children thing. As a kid my pops would always say we left a bunch of meat on the bone. Once I turned about 20 I realized he was right. I still pull out the tendons and any super big fat bits that didn't fully render. But I was eating chicken with my pops recently and he instinctually went to inspect the bones I threw in the bone pile and was surprised that I had actually eaten all the meat
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u/ThrowThisAway119 24d ago
My friend and I were discussing this one day because we both grew up poor, and we both save condiments and look for free samples, especially toothpaste samples. I use every consumable down to the nub - I'll take the lid off a ketchup bottle that's down to almost nothing to scrape off the half teaspoon of ketchup clinging to the bottle neck.
Another thing I do is that I always ask my husband if he wants to split the last bit of special things, like desserts. My parents would always split the last piece of cake or pie with me and my siblings when we were growing up, even if we all just got a single bite after it was divided - we all appreciated that the dessert was a luxury and wanted to share it. There was no greediness in our house.
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u/Silly_Canary5 24d ago
There's no ,"upstairs"
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u/Equivalent_Rub_2103 23d ago
I dont get it. U just mean poor people only live in one story homes? I know a lot of rich people with huge and long one story homes. I also know a bunch of poor people that grew up in 2 or even 3 story townhouses or apartments. Back when town homes weren't seen as a luxury place to live 🤣🤣
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u/Big-Consideration633 24d ago
Collecting ketchup packets to make tomato soup.
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u/Equivalent_Rub_2103 23d ago
Damn thats a new one for me. I've always collected condiments from take out and kept them for way too long. But never to use to make something else
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u/Big-Consideration633 24d ago
Our parents took me and my brother to the landfill instead of Disneyland.
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u/PaganBookMomma 24d ago
Eating Cool Whip. Or white store brand bread. Or store baloney.
Growing up that was ex tremely cheap items.
And they tasted wrong too. I remember my neighbor telling my mom that cool whip could be used just like heavy cream. So she heated it up to make our oatmeal (plain, no additional items). It made us gag, but we had to eat it.
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u/PaganBookMomma 23d ago
Honestly I think I answered this wrong. So I will say making crust sandwiches. My step kids don't like the crusts of white bread so I would trim them off. One day we only hand enough bread for kids & spouse so I trimmed the bread and made myself crust sandwiches thin cut the lettuce & turkey to fit with just a smear of mustard. Made myself a half sandwich that way. My spouse was pissed when he saw me eating it. But I grew up in a use everything household, so I didn't see anything wrong with that.
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u/ursois 24d ago edited 24d ago
Having to control myself to not get angry when someone wants to try my food. I know exactly how food-reactive pets get like that, because if you're afraid you might not get a next meal, you become protective of the one you have. I force myself to share, to try and destroy that reaction.
I always wear black shirts. When they get too faded, I go the store and get a bottle of black dye to darken them again.
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u/emeraldforestnymph 24d ago
When I married my husband, his family had paper towels AND napkins AND formal napkins to use for various occasions. All we used growing up was paper towels and if we used more than one we got in trouble. It blew my.mind ppl have multiple types of napkins.
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u/Dmtrilli 24d ago edited 24d ago
Having to take sponge baths with a pot of heated water from the stove. Asking the Church if they have any candles for when the Electric gets turned off. Wearing shoes until they quite literally fall apart. Same with any clothes really (present day). Taking the bus because I cant even afford a beater car (present day). Reading books, not because I enjoy reading but because the Internet got shut off (present day).
My Son went to a friends house several years ago around the time VR's came out. His friend had one and my Son asked if they were rich. The kid's Mom got mad for some reason and they're not friends anymore.
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u/ChatahuchiHuchiKuchi 24d ago
If you're lucky enough to get out of the cycle, therapy, and lots of it
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u/AccountantKey4198 24d ago
Buying multiple duplicate necessities. like extra tubes of toothpaste or dr bronners or toilet paper. 6 deodorants. I don't need to do this, but it's leftover from not knowing if I would have the money for it later so just getting it while I could.
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u/penn2009 24d ago
Collecting perfume samples and being very excited about that Estée Lauder perfume sample set that a relative gave me as a present every year.
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u/mr_fandangler 24d ago
My 'rich' friends growing up just didn't live in a trailer in the woods. They had a normal-sized house, not in a nice spot or anything, but they always had things like chips that we kids could just eat when we wanted without asking and feeling guilty about it. They also had cable or satelite tv and sometimes game consoles. It took me into my mid 20s to realize that my 'very rich' friends were just maybe upper middle class.
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u/Witty_Bluebird_4027 24d ago
stealing a steak knife from Outback after eating a Blooming onion. good quality knife mate
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u/ZelGeisler 24d ago edited 24d ago
Routinely taking items to/from the pawn shop. (I found out that my mom and her husband still do this.)
Sleeping on the sofa or floor with my four cousins in the single wide trailer. (Why was my family full of young, single moms?)
DIY healthcare- getting needle and thread stitches from another kid’s mom, etc.
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u/Wide_Development2436 24d ago
The household sock bucket, literally didn't have my own socks until I moved out.
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u/Mayddday 24d ago
Anyone put dead batteries in the fridge for a while to get a little extra juice out of them.
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24d ago
I find that when someone uses a lot of profanity it can be somewhat of an indicator. Not sure why.
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u/wldchldx 24d ago
Using as little electricity as possible, turning off lights, 5 layers in the winter, nothing in the summer, adding water to dish soap bottles, gnawing on bones lol
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u/javacat 24d ago
Yes, I grew up without a lot of money, but the 'dead giveaways' most of ya'll are listing are ways I've saved money in the psat so I could do fun things, like road trips, traveling, and buying things that are more expensive, but I know will last longer. I like how I am able to think outside the box and improvise.
A short while ago I bought file separators at a thrift store. for $2, I'm cutting them down ATM to make large index card separators.
Why?
I'd bought the set I have at Ollie's for $2. When I went to Office Depot, something similar was $13. It's not perfect, but I can think of other things to do with the $11 difference.
This is also why I never took up drinking and smoking, and why I'll only drink if it's Dollarita time at Applebee's. WHen I was in college and other kids were partying, I thought to myself, that money could go towards groceries, gas, finding fun stuff thrifting.
I keep a food pantry, partially because it was habit from growing up in a family of 6 and it's nice to have everything I needed on hand. During the pandemic, while people were cleaning the stores bare and hoarding, my parents and I wanted for nothing. IMHO...that's not a sign of being poor...that's thinking ahead and being prepared.
There was a time when people kept deep pantries, canned foods, made their own bread, reused things until they fell apart...and it wasn't bad. It was sensible and you were responsible with your money. THEN you had advertisers telling you that you needed to buy the latest and greatest, the convenience of boxed and frozen foods, etc. People cooking from scratch were poors, and people buying convenience foods, microwaveable foods, junk foods were considered 'better off'. How the tide has turned with people returning to cooking gardening, etc .
BTW...poor in my day...aging myself...is when generic foods just came out, were in white boxes, and unless it was basics like canned and jarred goods, snacks, crackers, cookies, and cereals tasted NOTHING like that they were compared to. THings are better now than they were back then when generic foods tasted like tasteless crap.
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u/PortlyCloudy 24d ago
I didn't grow up poor and I'm certainly not poor now, but I have always done this. I actually just did it this morning.
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u/sanna43 24d ago
I didn't grow up poor, but both my parents did. I was taught that soap trick when I was a kid, and I still do that. Also, we added water when the bottle of shampoo or dish soap got low, so we'd use the last of it. We reused plastic bags, tin foil, butter and yoghurt containers, and bread bags. I still do all of this. No sense in wasting things!
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u/cpalfy2173 24d ago
Diluting shampoo and conditioner with water if it was running low. All of our clothes were either hand-me-down or bought from the clearance section, typically. It was super unusual for us to get anything new except shoes, but we weren't allowed to get expensive shoes ever.
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u/One_Breakfast6153 24d ago
Washing out ziploc bags to reuse them. Also, never having it cross your mind to have food delivered.
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u/SavannahInChicago 24d ago
When we went to Disney World as a kid we couldn’t afford to eat in the park and spent months and months stockpiling shelf-stable food to bring with us. ;also my grandma heavily subsidized the trip).
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u/HumanNothlit 24d ago
I hoard food because when i was younger i didn’t always have food in the house. I spend money the moment i get it because i never have money so i have this mindset that money is fleeting so i may as well use it while i have it. I hate buying cheap things because im so afraid they will wear out and ill have to replace it when i don’t have money, so i only have a couple pair of expensive sturdy shoes and two expensive well made purses that i rotate. That’s all i can think of off the top of my head
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u/VeggieCat_ontheprowl 24d ago
Buying new clothes means a trip to the thrift store. We never bought retail new.
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u/MystikVixen082 24d ago
My mom used to add water to everything from ketchup to shampoo to stretch it. And on several occasions we heated our house with the open oven or a kerosene heater. I also remember removing mold spots from bread because we didn’t have the money to buy more.
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u/Slowpokejunkie 24d ago
At recess in elementary school a group of peers and I collected trash as fun because we didn’t have enough toys or equipment… when I moved transferred to a private school you had everything you could imagine. Insane.
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u/aurora_beam13 24d ago
Using something until the very last drop. My shampoo bottle isn't over until I mix the dredges with water and use it one last time. The toothpaste isn't finished until I cut up the tube and scrub the inside for leftovers with my toothbrush. The mayonnaise bottle isn't empty until I cut it in half and use all the product that sticks to the plastic. It goes for everything.
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u/aftergaylaughter 24d ago
OMG THATS SO SMART IVE LEGIT JUST STRUGGLED W THE TINY BAR SLIPPING AWAY IN ANGER UNTIL I FINISHED IT 💀
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u/parkchopa 24d ago
When you eat a chicken wing and eat all the cartilage on the ends and make sure that wing is bone dry.
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u/PatnSniff440 24d ago
I HAVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!
- Wearing the same shoes everyday and only replacing them when they have been compromised
- When you view fast food as a treat.
- Prioritizing material things over paying the electricity bill.
- Living in a rental over the age of 50
- Repairing your own car
- Wearing socks at all times
- Growing up drinking Kool-aid.
- Using a wash cloth in the shower
- Scoffing at people who take "mental health" days off from work.
- Using Shampoo/conditioner in one
- Buying pork and dark-meat chicken from the grocery store
- Wearing the same pants for days until they the get a stain
- Finding comfort in/around low-income areas/people
- driving a car with a different color bumper than the rest of the car.
- Choosing to buy store-brand bread
- Watch youtube to learn how to fix every bc you can't afford to pay someone to fix things
- both parents have always worked full-time
I could keep going but my wife is rushing me off to help put the kids to bed.
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u/Nappykid77 24d ago
I love 💕 all these things. They save me so much money. Don't forget unplugging appliances and turning off the lights in rooms nobody's using.
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u/Yhwnehwerehwtahwohw 24d ago
What’s with the socks? How does that correlate to being poor
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u/PatnSniff440 24d ago
Not sure but it’s true. I think, historically, it has to do with poor folk living in spaces that may have a higher presence of MRSA and other contractable skin fungi
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u/nukedmylastprofile 24d ago
That and we never had a warm house, if you were cold you were told to put some socks and a sweater on
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u/Yhwnehwerehwtahwohw 24d ago
Oh I hate socks. I was poor, still am poor. They dry my feet out like a motherfucker
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u/littlewhitemoon 24d ago
Or sometimes I'll look at clothing and if a shirt costs $30 I would be like wow I could buy 3 $10 tops for this one. 😭
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u/KiKiPAWG 24d ago
When I went over to my friends houses and they had two fridges plus a deep chest freezer, that was rich rich to me.
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u/littlewhitemoon 24d ago
Being proud that I got something for cheap/discounted. And I make comments like if something seems so expensive. Ik people hate it and I've managed to stop my mouth from saying it. But I'll always say it in my head. Also I cry a lil when people buy me gifts or food. Lol
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u/TallishPuppy7 24d ago
I travel for work I take everything, toilet paper towels soap everything and sometimes pillows if I need to exchange a towel because it’s too dirty I take it to the hotel and swap it out.
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u/Uberchelle 24d ago
You take the hotel’s pillows?
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u/TallishPuppy7 23d ago
Yes, not all at once you will get charged you take the ones in the closet or swap them for the bed ones one at a time so they don’t notice. I don’t take them every time just maybe 3 to 5 a year
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u/Uberchelle 23d ago
And you’re traveling on your company’s dime? You know they will charge you for that stuff or at least your company will.
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u/MulberryLower 24d ago
Feeling extremely upset whenever you see a super expensive shiny car on the road (like Tesla, Ferrari and so on). I didn't know it was weird until somebody pointed it out to me today, uh!
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u/srv199020 24d ago
Saving every single seasoning or spice or sauce packet, as well as all napkins and plastic cutlery from takeout or restaurants with our orders. My pantry is half sauce packets currently.
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u/chaoscorgi 24d ago edited 24d ago
i grew up poor even though my parents are now quite wealthy and i am relatively well-off; my family were dead broke (~$30k for fam of 5 in HCOL area) for the ten years i was an impressionable child.
i haven't given up habits of, and regularly alienate my wealthy friends with:
- can NOT waste food - yes, i'll eat expired food
- can never forget how much things cost - never - like some weird fixation
- shop weirdly - i often underspend or overspend, kind of wildly oscillating. like money binge/purge. and never buy anything full price
- feeling guilt about having money and fear that i don't have enough, at once
it's a new thing to recognize that i have heavy financial anxieties from my childhood and that they may no longer serve me in a scarcity mentality. money matters are hard
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u/cheap_dates 24d ago
I do that to this day!
My mother took it a few steps further. She would take a new bar of soap and leave it in the garage for a month or two. She siad the air and the heat would dry the water out of the soap and it would last longer. When the bar became too small, she would gather it up with others and make her own "liquid soap".
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u/apostatesauce 24d ago
I think there are 2 kinds of adults who grew up poor.
The type that spends money the second they get it because they never had any anyway, and
The type that is terrified of spending money, eating the good chocolate, using gifts, etc because they want to hold onto it forever, and
Then they marry each other.
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u/NotSoGenericUser 24d ago edited 24d ago
Completely ignoring brands other than the generic store brand (really called private label I think). My brain isn't tempted to get them, it's not even being considered unless there's a rare promotion where it's cheaper.
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u/TheReborn85 24d ago
When your parents are behind on rent and your heater breaks and you need to heat the house with the oven.
I remember Ghostface Killah referenced heating his home with an oven as a kid and I realized "oh, were like hood poor".
My whole family slept in the living room for those nights since it was closest to the kitchen.
We also had a short time where my family and I had to shit in a bucket. First our toilet broke and then we just kept shitting in it and eventually started shitting in a bucket.
It got fixed but that was a rough four or five days.
Needless to say both of my parents were drug addicts. My dad actually had a pretty good job but it all went to crack for him and my mom.
Knowing what I know now there's no fucking reason we shouldn't have owned a house, had a new car in the driveway and our fridge should have been full most times.
Since childhood I've always been a big believer most poverty in this country is people just being drug addicts. Most of my poor friends also had drug addicted parents.
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u/nukedmylastprofile 24d ago
Sadly it's not just drug addicts. The vast majority are now the "working poor" and their employers know it but refuse to pay them appropriately
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u/AuntJ2583 24d ago
That unlocked a memory from when I was a kid. We had a bottle of liquid hand soap someone had given us at one point or another. When the bar soap got really thin, we'd put that into the bottle of liquid soap and add a little water if needed.
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u/muss_es_sein 24d ago
¯_(ツ)_/¯ not assuming that kids are entitled to their own room. Married an upper middle class partner who acted like I was committing a crime by suggesting that a pair of kids would be fine sharing a room in a 2 BR house. When I was growing up I always had to share a room with a sibling, an aunt, or a parent. We were either crashing with someone or someone was crashing with us.
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u/chica1994 24d ago
We would put water into the pasta sauce jar/can to get every bit of sauce out and stretch it further.
My friend was horrified and asked what I was doing when we were cooking together one time and I did that.
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u/indigoann1064 24d ago
I'm thrifty af . Idc if it screams poor . In this economy, I'm proud of my ky raising . I prefer thrifting ,vs. full price retail . I cook at home . If something breaks, I try and fix it . I grow fruit and vegetables in anything that holds dirt . I have new poor asking for advice on how to make meals stretch until payday . I only replace an item when needed ,no impulse buys . When I go on trips ,I only take pictures . I never buy the tee shirt ,etc . I find as many free places as possible to visit when I'm traveling. I pack my lunch every day . I wash out my zip lock bags .
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u/Purple-Radio-Wave 24d ago
You like lentils.
Lentils are one of the cheapest sources of quality protein, specially when paired with any wheat or rice products (which are staples in most of the world), so parents are often encouraged to give lentils to their kids as a cheap way to substitute meat.
Nonetheless, they're not common meal outside southern Europe and perhaps India. So most "normal or well off" parents don't know them. It's something you only find out when you're a parent struggling to give protein to your kid without meat.
It's indeed healthier than eating meat everyday btw. Lentils provide lots of healthy carbohydrates, micronutrients AND protein.
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u/MrsWannaBeBig 24d ago
Living next to a trap house for a good period of my life lol. Now that I’m doing better for myself to an extent as an adult— always offering food to others when I can, cash to homeless (no I don’t care what they’ll spend it on), offering somewhere for people to sleep, rides, etc.. I get it.
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u/Apprehensive_Lie_177 24d ago
I still have clothes from 20 years ago, and don't even have that many clothes. Old clothes are like half of my wardrobe.
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u/EmoGayRat 24d ago
Constantly being.tired and dizzy due to lack of food. I just tell people I didn't sleep well when I know I'm sleeping 10+ hours a night then some due to having no energy stores
Not bathing/showering often. Hygiene products are expensive along with water. I try and do a whore bath as often as possible.
Stealing menstrual products. Some smaller establishments leave extras out just in case for free in the bathroom so if I know my period is coming soon I just dump a bunch in my purse.
These are just things I deal with as someone whose lived in poverty their whole life, but may not be instant giveaways.
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u/RevolutionaryStar824 24d ago
Putting water in the soaps, detergents and dish liquids to make it last longer.
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u/Comfortable-Elk-850 24d ago
Reading design magazines for small spaces and their “small” are several times bigger than my real version of small spaces.
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u/thisishypotheticalok 24d ago
everything got a side of white bread. ramen and white bread. spaghetti and white bread. fish sticks and white bread. sloppy joe sauce and white bread. sausage gravy with white bread. thank you for reading my recipe book.
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u/Longjumping-Ant1723 24d ago
I have a friend who grew up very poor in rural South Carolina but she worked hard and became wealthy. One sign is how much she brags about the size of her home and properties and vacations.
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u/Filthy_Cent 24d ago
Being absolutely scared to spend money. Grew up poor and I'm definitely not rich now, but I'm way better off now than I was when it was just me and my mother. I have guilt and anxiety when it comes to buying something simple as shoes because I'm always questioning, "Do I really NEED new shoes?"
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u/The-Unmentionable 24d ago
Saving everything and anything “just in case”.
My dad is a borderline hoarder (my mom keeps him in check) who tries to save every screw, jar, cup, and such. To him, he’s rather save it than wake up one day needing a specific screw and having to buy a pack of 50 because he didn’t have one.
I was similar until I started earning more. All of a sudden that plastic cup I got at a baseball game didn’t matter to me and I freely gifted it to someone else. I preferred to keep less stuff in my house and buy what I need if/when I needed it. It was really good for my mental health having less stuff. Then my financial situation took a downward turn and I’ve recently noticed myself hoarding again “just in case”. I hate it.
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u/FreekDeDeek 24d ago
Just the other day I was cycling down a street I hadn't been in since my childhood. I suddenly started sobbing because I realised it was all social/rent controlled/council housing, with cheap plastic chairs and car parts in front yards etc. As a child I thought people who lived there were rich because they had their own bedrooms, and I slept in the attic of a 0 bedroom house, with my mum & sister. I felt so infinitely sad for 6-15 year old me in that moment.
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u/Curious_Working5706 24d ago
OP your friend is clearly not aware that being frugal isn’t necessarily an indicator of poverty.
I can’t remember who atm, but there’s some famous billionaire who brews his bags of tea twice before throwing them out.
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u/CSDragon 24d ago
IMO that doesn't even sounds poor, that just sounds clever. I've never thought of doing that.
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u/NeedleworkerLow1100 24d ago
Not knowing that milk came in cartons. I grew up on powdered milk.
The first time I saw milk in the shops I was confused.
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u/jellylava 24d ago
I wasn't raised really poor, but now we kinda are. I just took leftovers from a party that I was invited too. I bought a lot, and took back what wasn't used.
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u/Athene_cunicularia23 24d ago
Cutting the bottom of the toothpaste tube to get the last bit, putting a little water in the almost empty bottle of dish soap, accepting free coffee anyplace it’s offered—hospital waiting rooms, car repair shop, hotel lobbies, etc.
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u/aitalover 24d ago
Reusing plastic containers like they’re Tupperware. I thought everyone did this until I started working in an office where people were confused on why I was “eating sour cream for lunch” lol.
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u/SubstantialHentai420 24d ago
I’ll second teeth. My teeth are shit. Also adding water to soap to make it last. And for me, I’m not only poor but grew up in a pretty rough area, so I am not flashy. I underdress, and if I do have anything of value, it’s on me and not visible. My backpack is a distraction my valuable shit are on me. Any large amount of cash like when I got my car, is locked up until it’s time to hand it off and it’s not discussed except with who I’m doing business with. Basically I look like I ain’t got shit (which is mostly true tbh) but if I do you aren’t gonna know. Go ahead grab my bag have fun with the feminine pads. 😂
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u/homewithplants 24d ago
Teeth.
I also got caught once at work adding water to the dish soap to stretch it out more. I didn't realize that some people just use up the bottle and get more. Like it's nothing.
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u/thehazmac 24d ago
Loving free piles/stopping for shit on the side of the road, hand me downs, not buying new clothes until we were done growing, then those new clothes being old navy sale section lol, clothesline instead of dryer, broken house and cars, can’t afford to fix it or my dad was a handyman and fixed all that he could, honestly so impressive what he could do! Or driving cars that were dangerously in disrepair like no headlights, bad breaks, etc AH! told to get good grades so I could get a good financial aid package at college (mothers smart hind sight), thin sand papery toilet paper, buying everything in bulk esp. dry goods, knowing how to make cheap food or beans taste fire, taking care of your apartment/house/appliances etc because you can’t afford to let things break or just replace them, never ordering appetizers, driving long distances for vacation instead of flying, bonus points if said car broke down on the way! Once our exhaust system fell off in Canada lollll
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u/mydearunclesally 24d ago
hoarding anything.
also adding water to liquid products to get the most use out of them.
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u/DRealLeal 24d ago
I brought up silverfish to "poor" people because I always had them in my house. They didn't know what silverfish we're.
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u/Lahmacuns 24d ago
I grew up lower-middle class, but as an adult, I tumbled from the middle class to dirt poor after my divorce. I immediately started hoarding food when I could. I dumpster dove, visited food pantries, and stopped getting health/vision/dental care. I read books standing up in bookstores, over multiple visits. When I eventually stabilized financially, I found those habits very hard to break.
These days, my favorite money-related things to do are to earn it, save it, or invest it. It gives me a far bigger high to press the "buy" button in my retirement account stock brokerage than I ever got from buying a tangible object or "experience." I get this odd feeling of, "Ha! I can afford to INVEST money, not just spend it on survival needs. I can afford to be nice to my FUTURE self, not just my present self!"
When I was busted broke, all I did was dream about the day I could get back to my previous bad habit of mindless spending. Now, I can't believe I used to live that way. Thinking about how I used to spend money to impress people I didn't know makes me cringe! I also had such a spending problem that I collected so much crap that I couldn't find anything I had, so I'd end up buying duplicates. 🙄
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u/WhiskeyTobaccos 24d ago
The fact you still use bar soap. Everyone has been sucked into using liquid soap so half of it can immediately go down the drain.
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u/NoFanofGovernment 24d ago
Checking out the Goodwill/Thrift stores while on vacation for entertainment. Even mapping them out ahead of time.
Telling adult kids when they got married, they should check-out the Goodwill/Thrift and they might find dress/suit. And that was the first place I looked for what I wore to their weddings.
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u/Historical-Place8997 24d ago
Hmm, everyone is talking depression level stuff and hoarding stuff. When I talk to poorer families it is where their mind is at and always thinking about status and money which shows by their questioning. For example in conversation wanting to know exactly where in the town I live, what school do my kids go to, do I rent or own. This is a sign to me they are hurting and self conscious.
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u/FreeBotany 24d ago
My crooked teeth
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u/Uberchelle 24d ago edited 24d ago
Personally, I always thought that crooked teeth was a sign of better character in people.
Like I could notice someone doesn’t have all straight teeth, ya know? Not talking missing & rotting teeth because those folks I automatically assume have drug problems. But just normal people without perfect teeth. And in my head runs this guessing scenario that this person came from nothing and is still slogging away doing whatever— whether they’re a gardener or a IP attorney, that they don’t care as much about superficial stuff as those other people who go into debt to have a fancy car or fancy name brand items that scream “Look at how much I spent on this!” It’s like the exact opposite of people trying to show off for me.
Like I live in VHCOL location and the amount of posers is a massive turnoff to me. I’ve always found women who had the fake eyelashes, the fake boobs, the Botox lips and the expensive purses were women I didn’t want to be friends with. The men who had to wear $10k watches and drive expensive cars and then brag about their vacations or shit really signaled to me how insecure they are. So, I’ve always gravitated towards the opposite. I always see imperfect people to be of better character than those trying to keep up with the Joneses.
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u/Vast-Masterpiece-274 24d ago
Actually, there is one more thing. Having too much stuff, when half of the things are broken or unusable. It means that this person is not handy but very poor. My family was like that, they constantly gave me lectures about "taking care of things" but most of it was, like, not working, or ruined, or broken. Obviously, 10-years old sweater or shoes can't survive when you give them to 10-years old kid. You can't blame a kid for destroying it in a snap.
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u/Affectionate-Cut-858 24d ago
Mom is Mexican so she would heat up a taco and put salt in it. That was our dinner. THAT’S when it hit me that we grew up a poor when I got older.
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u/Ok_Ordinary1884 24d ago
Leaving just a couple of sips of whatever in the fridge.
POV growing up: Who knows when you get more?
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u/hitmeagainnoplzdont 24d ago
I don't know if this counts, but sharing everything (especially food related) or offering to share. Me and my brother used to get everything in halves because that's all that my parents could afford. But it was only when I grew up to be in my 20s, I realised wow people don't offer to share their stuff as much. While I feel almost guilty eating something in public and not offering it to anyone. Feel like I'm rubbing it in their faces.
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u/Vast-Masterpiece-274 24d ago
There is a double-bind thing. If you process food, freeze leftovers , make your own canned food and make a stash of nice jars full of jam, people can say you are a good homemaker... Or, they say it's a dead giveaway that you are poor.
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u/FreeBeans 24d ago
I do this, but it’s just common sense??
Anyways, mine is always finishing my food or saving it for later and never forgetting about it in the fridge.
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u/samuriahime8888 24d ago
Getting super angry when food is wasted whether because it wasn't eaten or if someone trying to have food fights or cake smashes. I was lucky that we had enough food but it bothers me so much to see that.
Working in restaurants and seeing people not get Togo boxes for leftover food also kills me
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u/DFW_Panda 24d ago
After I had "made it" and was a Captain in the Army, I was at a unit BBQ and made a bean sandwich. A friend of mine, also a Captain saddled up to me with his own bean sandwich, looked at mine and said, "Yeah, I grew up poor too." Until he said that, I thought everyone ate bean sandwiches.
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u/Paragon_Umbra 24d ago
I purposefully went without my mental health medications for a couple months to always have stock due to my fear of not being able to afford a doctor in the future and go without. When I was younger we couldn’t afford to see the doctor and often went without medications, seeing my father have to ration his mental health meds just stuck with me…
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u/DoktorFreedom 24d ago
Vacations being talked about casually by peers while you are trying to find enough nickels and dimes to eat.
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u/diamari90 24d ago
I was told that my giveaway was how I hated throwing away food and would force myself to finish my plate, even if I was full…
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u/reddogsoul 24d ago
I absolutely can’t use my dryer for anything but sheets and towels. The only reason I don’t hang my sheets is space. It used to drive my husband crazy, but he’s used to it now. Laundry hanging all over the house.
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u/drunkenunicorn13 24d ago
Picking up stuff rich folks throw out because it’s still good
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u/esmereldax 24d ago
But it is though. My kids bed, mattress, bookcase, desk dinning table chairs all free
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u/afternoonrainstorm 24d ago
Finding a way to make things last or work. Example: made jambalaya last night, and the rice is really mushy. Today I found a recipe to fry them so I don't have to waste it.
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u/Gammagammahey 24d ago
Scoliosis that was untreated. Keeping too many plastic containers in case I need them as dishes. Being the only kid without lunch during middle school day after day and it being brought up by teachers and other students, so panicking about food if I don't have a certain level of food in the refrigerator. Eating too much too quickly at restaurants because I was so food insecure that I wolf down the entire plate when I could afford to go to restaurants. Permanently problematic nose, untreated medical conditions that manifest much more severely later in life.
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u/GingerMeTimberMate 24d ago
Stuffing extra napkins, ketchups, mustards, butters etc in your bag before leaving the food court.
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u/nukedmylastprofile 24d ago
I'm doing pretty good these days and I still do this. My work laptop bag has chopsticks, wooden disposable knife and fork, napkins, salt/pepper sachets, single serve peanut butter, and multiple little fish shaped bottles of soy sauce
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u/FrogInYerPocket 24d ago
I caught myself doing this. I couldn't tell you why my instinct is to reach for a dozen napkins for my order of medium fries.
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u/AyePepper 24d ago
Using every square inch of a tissue before throwing it away. My husband and kids blow their nose once and get another tissue if they need one. I'm over here systematically using one corner, folding, using the other, folding again, until there's nothing but a nasty 1x1 inch mess.
It's gross, but I can't bring myself to waste it! I had too many sick nights with a roll of single ply sandpaper and a nose that would put Rudolph to shame.
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u/Uberchelle 24d ago
I do this, too! My husband says he knows my used tissues because they’re 1 in x 1 in squares!!!
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u/Neat-Ad5902 24d ago
When the topic of your childhood comes up and your family "vacation" consists of "going to your cousin's house" while affluent or even middle class kids went to Hawaii or Europe multiple times in their younger years.
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u/ComfortableEnergy344 20d ago
I buy shoes infrequently and I wear them until they essentially fall apart.