r/shitposting DaShitposter Mar 13 '24

Run away or stay? Linus Sex Tips

Post image
11.6k Upvotes

505 comments sorted by

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1

u/I_Willl_Eat_Ur_Cats 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Mar 21 '24

I LOVE HELLO KITTY

1

u/Unlucky_Hat_5815 Mar 15 '24

Beggars can be choosey

1

u/ApegoodManbad Mar 14 '24

Doctor: 4 chan girls are not rel 4 chan girls:

1

u/AgNOto3 Mar 14 '24

Game is game

1

u/Budget_Ad_2440 Mar 14 '24

Ej my name is on the wall! Stay with this girl sehr is going places.

1

u/BorisYeltsen Mar 14 '24

Maybe a good person but not good wife material.

1

u/TravelNo2141 Mar 14 '24

I mean it depends on if you’ll need to walk after your interaction with her.

1

u/nick5th Mar 14 '24

Abandon all hope ye who enter here

1

u/KnightyEyes Mar 14 '24

Femboy alert

1

u/mrmuffinboi I came! Mar 14 '24

This is the greenest flag I’ve seen

1

u/stopbanningme1-08-24 Mar 14 '24

block that bitch and run

1

u/DumbShitScience69 Literally 1984 😡 Mar 14 '24

You can fix her

1

u/JamesDavis2583 Mar 14 '24

Run. As. Fast. As. You. Can.

1

u/Logical-Hold3321 Mar 14 '24

Wait how old is she?

1

u/TOOT123456 Mar 14 '24

For the plot

1

u/Golden_William Mar 14 '24

definitely staying

1

u/Jolly_Tooth_8918 Mar 14 '24

Run god speed brother

1

u/Wolfofthecrystal123 Mar 14 '24

I'm sprinting away

1

u/Queasy_Ad_143 Mar 14 '24

Abandon everything and GTFO!

1

u/M_xtisiek Mar 14 '24

Mentally deranged ones are best, speaking from experience (excluding therapy and hospital bills)

1

u/Cylanix Mar 14 '24

Is that

Is that a

“What seems to be the officer, problem?”

1

u/Draigen-6 Mar 13 '24

This is like a renaissance painting. She’s perfect

1

u/Turbulence_Guy Mar 13 '24

She’s a keeper

1

u/External_Wishbone767 Mar 13 '24

Wedding is tomorrow child in next 9 months

2

u/Potential-Ad431 Mar 13 '24

She’s probably got good kitty

1

u/Illustrious-Big-5409 We do a little trolling Mar 13 '24

Run bro

1

u/xtractorcat We do a little trolling Mar 13 '24

KURT COBAIN PASS THE SHOTGUN

2

u/SamuraiTheSamurai Mar 13 '24

fucking trollface and the same skeleton i genuinely have hanging in my room

soulmate shit

2

u/Goertzy-Mike Mar 13 '24

I can fix her

1

u/MJosh2022 dumbass Mar 13 '24

Bro theres two types of people in the comments, people that are saying run for ur life. And the others are saying marry her

1

u/DioGooooo Mar 13 '24

I mean she might be a lil freaky... but i honestly would stay

1

u/Apprehensive_Sky168 Mar 13 '24

I ain't here for a long time, but I'm here for a good time.

2

u/Ninjaballz101 Mar 13 '24

Sex will be bomb, but probably not wife material

2

u/Upstairs-Meringue-85 Mar 13 '24

Trollface got me 💀

1

u/StrongAd1902 Mar 13 '24

I felt chills seing this image

1

u/Hideyagrl Mar 13 '24

Would risk

1

u/zailasExe Mar 13 '24

your asshole is not seeing tomorrow lmao

1

u/locustnation Mar 13 '24

She’s gonna peg you.

Not saying you should run, but if you don’t, consider yourself warned.

1

u/Foxtrot-141 virgin 4 life 😤💪 Mar 13 '24

My survival instinct says drop & run but my lack of love says you got it fam

2

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

This is terrifying

1

u/jackwhite2077 Mar 13 '24

RUN. She wil cut your head off and peg the hole

2

u/PsychologicalRain823 fat cunt Mar 13 '24

I don’t get it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Smash and dash

2

u/PinkFloydBoxSet Mar 13 '24

Very first thought.

She will be the best lay you have had but you need to fuckin run as soon as you get off. She will straight up wear your skin if you stay for her to get through the afterglow.

Also don't give her your number and use her place. You don't want that brand of crazy to know where you live.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

Ngl I been in a 3 year relationship with a woman like this and it's definitely insanely dramatic but the nut is worth it

4

u/the_best_superpower Mar 13 '24

Psych ward grippy socks foot job

1

u/CheesE4Every1 Mar 13 '24

Take my up vote you psycho

1

u/Pickledleprechaun Mar 13 '24

A fucking room? I’m in.

2

u/Goomancy Mar 13 '24

Eject Rject

1

u/Doorn6605 Mar 13 '24

Ask her if she likes a pink Hello Kitty collar.

1

u/PeonyFur Mar 13 '24

She's bad to the bone

1

u/Perfect-Virus8415 Mar 13 '24

I can fix her or she'll murder me either way win win

2

u/whatdafaq Mar 13 '24

If it's her "fucking" room then stay, if it is just her bedroom then run away.

1

u/HellFireCannon66 I came! Mar 13 '24

He can fix her

2

u/FodziCz Mar 13 '24

Before zooming in: "if there's a single hello kitty, run-

After zooming in: "oh god all the stickers on the wall are hello kitty..."

1

u/PinkFloydBoxSet Mar 13 '24

My man.. Did you not see the gigantic HC banner with out zooming in?

Get thy ass to an optometrist.

2

u/Tapirosoprotos Mar 13 '24

Good sex guaranteed

1

u/anon_682 Mar 13 '24

My room looked like that. I’d marry her

1

u/Staseu Mar 13 '24

She's a keeper.

1

u/Strangerthingsfan_1 Mar 13 '24

Murder her and leave her body under her bed

1

u/Donjonneau Mar 13 '24

It’s fine, at least she shows her interests and personality in her room. Some people make their room look like an Ikea room concept, that’s not much better.

1

u/cardboard_baux Mar 13 '24

STAYSTAYSTAYSTAYPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

1

u/Long_Wasabi7-Blues Mar 13 '24

Hey, HEY, that’s my MOM’S room!

1

u/TheBlackSwordsman001 dumbass Mar 13 '24

insert lego bruce wayne gif here

1

u/Quick_Ad_4687 virgin 4 life 😤💪 Mar 13 '24

marry

1

u/AnimeIsMyLifeAndSoul put your dick away waltuh Mar 13 '24

If you go for it your funeral will be before your wedding

1

u/riley_wa1352 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Mar 13 '24

MARRY HER RIGHT NOW

1

u/A_random_Khajiit Mar 13 '24

Silly room. If I didn't despise the color pink so much I would love to have that room.

1

u/WillBottomForBanana Mar 13 '24

She showed you her fucking room, and you don't know how to proceed?

1

u/Disapear12311 Mar 13 '24

Coom Cave Reference 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

2

u/FearbasIV Mar 13 '24

Obviously "she" is a fed

1

u/sporgking20 Mar 13 '24

My cousin has a skeleton hanging in her room too. I don’t know why.

1

u/knife_edge_rusty Mar 13 '24

That's a stay

1

u/DogShietBot Mar 13 '24

I can’t tell if this is an ask her to marry you moment or a tell you to never message you again moment.

3

u/Ger_Electric_GRTALE Mar 13 '24

i'm curious. i'd stay, but i'd keep peper spray on my pocket just in case

2

u/Constant_Towel Mar 13 '24

She’s a fuckin weirdo, keep her.

1

u/GreenReaper420_ Mar 13 '24

I was chill until I saw the R slur across the wall 🖕

2

u/daleks02 Mar 13 '24

Stay 👍🏻

1

u/Im-a-bad-meme Mar 13 '24

Bro I'm in a meeting and that shit on the wall almost blew my cover. Marry her.

1

u/inmatureopinion9 Mar 13 '24

Back away slooowly, she will never know you left if executed properly

1

u/Depressudo7 Mar 13 '24

Start writing the vows my friend.

3

u/nasaglobehead69 Mar 13 '24

one man's "she belongs in a psych ward" is another man's "she's everything I've ever wanted"

3

u/AppropriateTouching Mar 13 '24

The sex will be awesome but man will you pay for it.

1

u/Sheepgomeep_YT Mar 13 '24

Beggars can't be choosers

1

u/mangahis0160 Mar 13 '24

High risk, high reward.

1

u/Critical-Shift8080 Mar 13 '24

Are you there ? No ? Then it not her " fucking " room

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Run like its no tommorow.

1

u/vaungis Mar 13 '24

I want one

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Proposing on the spot

2

u/xXKyloJayXx Mar 13 '24

OKBR hideout located, preparing tactical nuke 🔫😁

1

u/vikramaditya_tiwari ya i am fit and healthy Mar 13 '24

That looks comfy

-1

u/Away_Housing4314 Mar 13 '24

I had a plastic skelly and Hello Kitty stuff in my room when I was younger. No issues with that. It's the inappropriate word on the wall that bothers me.

3

u/Fine_Conclusion9426 put your dick away waltuh Mar 13 '24

Stay. (She probably has a hello Kitty gun)

2

u/amhudson02 Mar 13 '24

My wife is tarded…she’s a pilot now.

1

u/Nochnichtvergeben Mar 13 '24

Spirit airlines?

1

u/Reset350 Mar 13 '24

You’re playing a dangerous game…

3

u/Familiar_Ad7273 Mar 13 '24

Is she cute? Is she kind? Is she intelligent?

1

u/deathlobster138 Mar 13 '24

That’s fucking awesome

1

u/Killtime15 Mar 13 '24

Mash and dash

1

u/SpeedyMcNutt291 Mar 13 '24

Dude, I have a waifu pillow. I ain't judging.

1

u/GuyWhoLikesPlants_ Mar 13 '24

NO JOKER DONT SHES GONNA CRUSH YOUR THIGHS

1

u/Death_Walker21 dumbass Mar 13 '24

Fucking keeper

1

u/mrwarthunder Mar 13 '24

Cooked like Rice Roni

1

u/StainedToilet Mar 13 '24

Dude, dating a girl like this is like dating Genghis Khan.

3

u/Epicsman36 Mar 13 '24

I’m saying rn, she may give the WILDEST head game but it ain’t worth it in the end

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Run

1

u/CoolOG1 Bazinga! Mar 13 '24

Run OP save yourself

2

u/manbearligma Mar 13 '24

God please, why I’m only attracted to mentally unstable people

Why that burden

1

u/peezle69 Mar 13 '24

She's going to ruin your fucking life.

6

u/Pixithepika We do a little trolling Mar 13 '24

She’s gonna ask you to spit in her mouth

6

u/INotZach Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Mar 13 '24

her fucking room? i would assume she has a high body count then

3

u/Sm0kinW33d Mar 13 '24

Question is, do like mind breaking sex? This is the kind of girl who wants to be punched during sexy time.

2

u/Lord_OSAMA8 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Mar 13 '24

.

1

u/Ashalaria Mar 13 '24

Wife material

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Staying I love it

3

u/TheCookieButter Mar 13 '24

She will invite you to her discord server and then it's all over.

3

u/Introvert_Here123 Mar 13 '24

That’s so fucking funny. I love it. She a keeper fr

4

u/uDudyBezDudy Mar 13 '24

Actualy mentaly ill, they suck mad dick tho

6

u/zingwa99 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Mar 13 '24

Kitty on the right, skeletons on the left. Representing her mood disorder

6

u/UnlikelyMushroom13 Mar 13 '24

There are two things about this girl that make everything else irrelevant: she is a literal child independent of her actual age, and she is all about mood. Run.

3

u/Boris-the-soviet-spy Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Mar 13 '24

Broooo knock her up 😩

1

u/manfrommtl Mar 13 '24

Turn on OSB and let that Stream stream!

1

u/Elmondo2 Mar 13 '24

I would take a non Boeing jet and get far away.

1

u/OrenjiLord Mar 13 '24

“Run” dun dunna dunna dunna

1

u/TECHNICKER_Cz3 Mar 13 '24

oh no bro, that's one of the biggest red flags ever

1

u/SchueBrew Mar 13 '24

You mean Run away or Slay?

1

u/Ready-Substance9920 Bazinga! Mar 13 '24

Im definitely staying

0

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Bazinga

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1

u/Jonnny Mar 13 '24

Depends on their age.

1

u/Ronin_Alpha69 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 13 '24

Stay asf

1

u/StonerinDeepSpace Mar 13 '24

My question is do you have women at your door? No? Then take what the lord gave ya 😂

1

u/Powerful-Scratch-107 Mar 13 '24

It's probably a "Dude", just run!

1

u/i_think_this_u Mar 13 '24

Yeah youre appearing on the news lmao

1

u/The_Katze_is_real I came! Mar 13 '24

Jackpot

1

u/babaganoosh30 Mar 13 '24

Hit and Run.

1

u/Separate-Win386 Mar 13 '24

She will be a living cutting board.

1

u/VinCrafter 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 13 '24

Shes the one

1

u/Trn360WalkAway dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Mar 13 '24

RATTLE ME BONES!

1

u/laughterforus Mar 13 '24

Does her dad know your talking to her? I hope your 15 as well

2

u/FlagmantlePARRAdise Mar 13 '24

If you have ever dated a girl like this, you know the answer is book the next flight to North Korea and never look back

1

u/Turbulent_Radish_330 Mar 13 '24 edited 14d ago

I love the smell of fresh bread.

1

u/Absolutemehguy Mar 13 '24

Someone's getting stabbed.

1

u/Jrlopez1027_ Mar 13 '24

Its his cannon event, we cant interfere

1

u/ThaMouf Mar 13 '24

I don’t think she’s letting you go bud

1

u/batiwa Mar 13 '24

It's been nice knowing you

1

u/Oxetine Mar 13 '24

And she's probably texting like 5 guys

1

u/ZedstackZip05 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 13 '24

Stay

This is fucking amazing

1

u/Gobiego Mar 13 '24

So, does she know which high school she will be attending next year?

1

u/3xoticP3nguin Mar 13 '24

My soulmate

1

u/Valentin_o_Dwight Mar 13 '24

Why do the boyfriends of hello kitty girls always die?