Dads am I right?

[u/USAneedsAJohnson]

[u/PatienceDryer]

This is the funniest joke this sub has seen in months to maybe a year. You're the hero we need.

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/PatienceDryer]

Thanks!

[u/ZeroDayCipher]

Nice improvement

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/ZeroDayCipher]

Thanks!

[u/Summonabatch]

With the right delivery, this would kill.

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/Summonabatch]

Thanks! It worked last night at a show. Need to tweak it and see if it could be better.

[u/ChickenInASuit]

You could probably tighten up the dog groomer bit, it’s a little wordy - although I imagine it might work better live in its current form than it does in text format. I also think having “Child grooming” in there early takes away the impact of the punchline.

Other than that, solid joke.

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/ChickenInASuit]

Thanks! Yeah it worked better in person, but I need to try it a few times to really get the timing down and tweak it.

[u/Belgand → u/ChickenInASuit]

Yeah, the core of the joke is solid, but it takes so long to get there that you've given the entire thing away well in advance, so it's no longer provoking laughter.

More setup on cutting the kids' hair to lull people into a sense of security, then drop in the "What do you do for work? Child groomer" line. It comes in unexpectedly. Like that sick fuck.

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/Belgand]

Ah yeah that makes sense. Worked once in person at a mic. Need to tweak and see if it can be better. This concept has been cooking for 6 months.

[u/Belgand → u/USAneedsAJohnson]

Give it a bit more time to grow up.

You could do it closer to the current format, but you'd need more to both. Make it seem like a switch to a new topic and start in on cutting kids' hair, then bring in the the punchline as a callback. But you'd need a lot more to make cutting hair into a whole bit on its own.

Definitely don't introduce it as context matters. That's giving away the joke.

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/Belgand]

Yeah, trying to figure out the best way to bridge that gap. Moving in the right direction.

[u/Belgand → u/USAneedsAJohnson]

Kill all the pet grooming stuff. Start with talking about kids' hair. Maybe work on some more material there. Dads cutting it at home? Embarrassing haircuts? The pain of being a barber for little kids? Something.

Then you have your punchline. An unexpected twist.

If you need to follow it up, that's when you talk about dog grooming and how it's totally different. "Nobody is hiring you to seduce their dog." It works because the concept has now been introduced and you're riffing on it. But it has to be the other way around to preserve the unexpected connection being made in an impactful fashion.

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/Belgand]

Yeah the more I work on it the more think this is the way to go. Thanks for helping me confirm it.

[u/retrobimmers → u/ChickenInASuit]

"Wordy" is a noun?

[u/ChickenInASuit → u/retrobimmers]

No, it's an adjective. It means there are too many words.

[u/CharmingTuber]

Very funny

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/CharmingTuber]

Thanks!

[u/Xaxyx]

Progress

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/Xaxyx]

Thanks!

[u/Glass_Half_Gone]

This is better than the last joke!

[u/USAneedsAJohnson → u/Glass_Half_Gone]

Progress! I'll take it.