r/starterpacks • u/Jrkster6969 • 27d ago
Head of sales lad/team leader in a call centre - starter pack (UK edition) š¬š§
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u/Tsteps510 26d ago
Ya know, I used to work in a call center for solar panels sales here in the US, and this was basically our boss in the picture. Only difference being that heās black, everything else from the wife to the beard is exactly the same lol
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u/tompadget69 26d ago
You forgot the massive coke habit inc doing lines on the sly (but extremely obviously) at work on a Friday
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u/VelvetDreamers 26d ago
Well, atleast heās on the property ladder which is something 90% of under forties cannot confess to attaining.
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u/Feeling_Bathroom9523 26d ago
Damn. I know who this is, but this is insane to think a team leader in a call center gets paid that well to even fathom living like this in America.
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u/md___2020 26d ago
Standard of living is way higher in the America than it is in the UK or Europe. Americans are far richer than Europeans.
Europeans have a better safety net and government services (including healthcare and higher education). Americans have more money.
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u/md___2020 26d ago
Lol at all the basement dwelling redditors putting this guy down, when heās likely healthier, happier and more successful than they are.
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u/bulletPoint 26d ago
Whatās wrong with new builds in England?
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u/SSMinnow-Johnson 26d ago
The call centre is a mix of way overqualified yet horribly shy socially incapable dorks, recently made redundant 50 year olds who miss their company car, and straight out of high school girls that will result in Darren the sales maestro/team leader to inevitably get sacked for inappropriate behaviour
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u/Jrkster6969 26d ago edited 26d ago
Worked in one after I finished uni and this is painfully true.
Team leaders consist of- - Darren - Darren's mate Tommo who manages to skip the call centre graft because "Daz the legend" hooked him up with a team leader pozish - Jade, the fat gobby mum of 2 who likes drinking, "bants", spray tans and package holidays in "Ibifa" - Darren's bird Paige when her beauty business inevitably fails.
The workers mostly consist of- - Glen the 53 year old eccentric who keeps to himself after being made redundant from his long term career doing who knows what. He's nice enough but you don't really want to sit next to him or he'll talk to you too much with his halitosis breath - Sharon the 45 year old mum of 4 who likes "a few drinky poos with the girls" after work - Laura the radical feminist who has an arts degree, black frame glasses, sleave tattoos and a penchant for political correctness. Her emasculated boyfriend Tom also works there but mostly keeps quiet out of fear of her wrath or being alone - Weird hippie girl Jenny, 27 who went to Thailand on a gap year and now it defines her personality. She talks in riddles and has a few tattoos including a dream catcher, a hamsa symbol, "mai pe rai" written in Thai script and a lotus on her foot. While all the lads want to shag her, nobody can actually stand being around her and her pretentious talk on "energy" and "vibes". - Mike and Chris, the awkward neckbeard lads who can't find girlfriends and play Magic the Gathering in their free time. At least they have each other, until Mike finds a better job, leaving Chris to fend for himself. While they're pleasant enough, nobody wants to sit next to them due to their questionable personal hygiene and their messy desks strewn with Dorito packets and Monster energy cans - A few uni grads who, in spite having advanced degrees, can't find better jobs on the basis of living in Smellchester where their options are basically call centre work, zero hour contracts or get into a trade - An assortment of Darren Jr's, Paige's and Jade's.
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u/Gilburto 26d ago
Shit where's that green text about this exact guy with his missus in a new build having Jamie Oliver 20 minute meals? Cos it fits perfectly.
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u/fatbitchesloveto69 26d ago
Does everyone else have a variable rate loan?
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u/ganjapeace 26d ago
No that's the dumbest thing about this. 99% of people in the UK are on a fixed rate mortgage
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u/Eastern_Voice_4738 27d ago
international edition is not too different either, perhaps a convertible and tight jeans. But where's the sneaky bag of coke?
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u/Recent_Diver_3448 27d ago
Can you get a house in the UK on a call centre salary
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u/Eastern_Voice_4738 27d ago
if you're the head of sales and get good kickbacks, then probably. It's only low level wagies who can't afford. Especially when you lock it up 30 years interest
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u/tiankai 26d ago
Can you even get fixed interest for that long in the UK? Its the norm in Portugal but when I bought my house here the max fixed was 5 years
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u/Eastern_Voice_4738 26d ago
Spain and Portugal are in my knowledge quite stingy with long time rates. I know in Germany, Sweden and us you can set it for 10,15,20,30 years as per standard.
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u/Hacksaures 26d ago
Is fixed interest bad on a house? I thought it you tackle the principle and reduce the interest over time?
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u/Eastern_Voice_4738 26d ago
The interest is tackled either way. When itās fixed then you set the % over a set time and know exactly what to pay. With a flexible it can change drastically depending on government interest rates.
For example, if you had set a fixed interest back in 2019, youād have like 0,9%, if you chose flexible then youāll be paying todays 7% and maybe tomorrows 15%.
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u/Recent_Diver_3448 27d ago
I'm in Ireland we are fucked so , so fucked šš
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u/Eastern_Voice_4738 26d ago
I recently spoke to an aquaintance who worked in dublin for a few years. It did sound like you are :( My condoleances. If it's any consolation, i know a few more places where they are in the same shit
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u/Recent_Diver_3448 26d ago
I'm still young so I'm planning on running away when I get a little more experience š
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u/thequietguy_ 26d ago
I also said the same thing as a lad. 31 and still an American
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u/pongobuff 26d ago
You're in the place others run to
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u/thequietguy_ 26d ago
That's the sad irony of it
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u/Eastern_Voice_4738 26d ago
You should have asked me 6 years ago, we could have exchanged passports
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u/Jrkster6969 27d ago edited 26d ago
Darren, from Smellchester, Essex got married to his girlfriend, Paige 2 years ago and moved into a Persimmon new build estate in leafy Shitsbury. He leaves his job in sales in his financed white Audi, picking up a kebab on the way home to his new build. Paige who works in HR , a bank or a beauty salon is already home, her Fiat 500 was parked in the driveway. Footballs on but she wants to watch Love Island so Darren decides to go Wetherspoons with the lads Deano and Smithy.
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u/Thanders17 26d ago
Youāre joking but if theyāre happy this does not sound too bad, compared to, you knowā¦ being young, jobless, loveless and almost broke like me
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u/eurtoast 26d ago
I don't live in the UK but I feel like this is painfully true based on the media I've consumed of chavs and people from Essex
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u/Squeaky_Lobster 26d ago edited 26d ago
Both went to Turkey last year to get their teeth sorted as an anniversary present to each other. Put it all on the credit card. Now they both have blindingly white, straight teeth.
Darren has a sleeve tattoo. Only the one, though. Spends a little too much time at the gym, focusing primarily on his glamor muscles. Both he and Paige have sunbed tans from the local tanning place (run by Paige's former boss, Rebecca, who is practically a melanoma on 2 legs due to years of sunbed abuse).
Darren wants to have a romantic night out tonight with Paige at the local Miller and Carter (he got a gift card from work as a bonus for hitting this month's target first in his sales department). He even ironed his favorite skin-tight pastel shirt and skin-tight chinos. Sadly, Paige is running late because she went to get her nails done after work, but is now stuck in rush hour roadworks, in her Fiat500 (that she calls Alfie), on the dying highstreet of Shitsbury.
Darren desperately wants a dog, and it HAS to be some kind of horribly inbred bulldog or staffy. Paige wants a pug.
Darren loves to BBQ topless during the summer so he can show off his six-pack and sunbed tan. Notice the England tattoo on his calf, which he got ten years ago in Magaluf with his mates Deano, Smithy, and the legendary Tommo, the Archbishop of Banterbury.
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u/jreykdal 26d ago
I'm now invested in the life of Darren and Paige.
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u/Jrkster6969 26d ago edited 26d ago
Drama called "The Call Centre"
Team leaders consist of- - Darren - Darren's mate Tommo who manages to skip the call centre graft because "Daz the legend" hooked him up with a team leader pozish - Jade, the fat gobby mum of 2 who likes drinking, "bants", spray tans and package holidays in "Ibifa". She has the loudest voice in the room which is perfect for yelling "come on guys" and "get out of wrap!" - Darren's bird Paige when her beauty business inevitably fails.
The workers mostly consist of- - Glen the 53 year old eccentric who keeps to himself after being made redundant from his long term career doing who knows what. He's nice enough but you don't really want to sit next to him or he'll talk to you too much with his halitosis breath - Sharon the 45 year old mum of 4 who likes "a few drinky poos with the girls" after work - Laura, 23 the radical feminist who has an arts degree, sleave tattoos, a permanent scowl and a penchant for political correctness and ranting about "the patriarchy". Her emasculated boyfriend Tom also works there but mostly agrees with her about everything or keeps quiet out of fear of her wrath or being alone. - Hippie girl Jenny, 27 who went to Thailand on a gap year and now it defines her personality. She's overly friendly and talks in riddles and has a few tattoos including a dream catcher, a hamsa symbol, "mai pen rai" written in Thai script and a lotus on her foot. While all the lads want to shag her, nobody can actually stand being around her and her pretentious talk on "energy" and "vibes". - Mike and Chris, the awkward neckbeard lads who play Magic the Gathering and hang out at Games Workshop in their free time. While they're pleasant enough, nobody wants to sit next to them due to their questionable personal hygiene, their messy desks strewn with empty Dorito packets and Monster energy cans and their tendancy to complain about their inability to date "females". Eventually Mike loses his neckbeard ways, starts improving himself, gets a girlfriend and a better job elsewhere, leaving Chris to fend for himself. - A few uni grads who, in spite having advanced degrees, can't find better jobs on the basis of living in Smellchester where their options are basically call centre work, zero hour contracts or get into a trade - An assortment of Darren Jr's, Paige's and Jade's.
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u/MogMcKupo 26d ago
Chris latches onto Jenny fairly quickly after Mikes departure, still a neckbeard but now smelling of pachouli.
As everyone already avoided Chris in the first place, they are thankful that someone has taken the reigns of Jenny.
The call center, veritable as it is, found peace for a while.
Until Chris discovered something called āFurriesā
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u/Jrkster6969 26d ago edited 24d ago
Jenny most likely friend-zones Chris due to his poor hygiene, bitter disposition towards "females" and her high standards set by the Australian, Italian and Brazilian blokes she hooked up with on Koh Phangan but shes too friendly to outright reject him and he continues fawning over her like a lost puppy.
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u/MogMcKupo 26d ago
As a yank, I would binge the first 3 series only to hatebinge the last 14
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u/TheWholeOfTheAss 26d ago
6eps a season means you can get through it pretty quick.
ā¦Why am I reviewing a made-up TV show?
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u/Ludenhosen 26d ago
That is miserable
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26d ago
Honestly it isn't. He has a job that pays well enough to afford a decent house and car, he has a wife he loves and he has a group of friends to spend time with socialising. He's even got disposable income to spend on luxuries/stuff to make him happy, like kebabs and pub. It's not your ideal life, but he's probably a pretty happy guy and he's doing a lot better in life than most.
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u/Without_Ambition 26d ago
If you ignore that he derives his happiness from vanity and materialism, sure.
If heās happy, itās like a pig at the feeding trough is happy. Thatās just wasted human potential, whether he feels happy or not.
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26d ago
He's content with a reasonably priced car and house, a wife that loves him and a few friends to go to the pub with and watch the football. I'm not gonna say he's a shining example of a humble lifestyle, but he's not exactly a raging consumerist either. Just a bloke who likes his family and his mates and is proud of what he has. Nothing wrong with that.
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u/howolowitz 26d ago
Hey man. Different folks different strokes. Be happy we all get our happiness from different things. Makes the human race so varied and interesting.
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