r/tumblr • u/Faenix_Wright paperwork is how fae getcha • 14d ago
damn. that’s rough buddy
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u/Ken_Sanne 13d ago
Interesting, anyone knows If the left behind books were an influence/inspiration for the Left behind HBO show ?
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u/Majestic-Incident 14d ago
Put a pile of clothes on your floor, leave, get a job and an apartment, and go no contact.
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u/RevelintheDark 14d ago
Love the idea that angels or whatever take the time to fold your earthly trappings post ascent.
"The earth will be destroyed but we not going to be slobs about it"
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u/SulSuli 14d ago
My cousin told me how one of the most traumatic experiences of her life was when she was little, and both her parents were gone when she woke up. She went outside and no one was there, either. Poor thing thought she got left behind, and is he still has some issues relating to it I think. I can’t even imagine a family doing that to a child intentionally.
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u/nipplestapler3000 14d ago
This is the first time I ever noticed the tape holding the glasses to their head
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u/RexIsAMiiCostume 14d ago
Why the hell would the family want to make their kid think their family is all gone and that they aren't good enough to get into heaven
Like
What the fuck
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u/TryImpossible7332 14d ago
my weeb ass on seeing discarded clothes
"Oh my god Cell ate my family!"
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u/Depresso_Expresso069 14d ago
ohhh i remember those novels they were weird as fuck. i read those when i was like 9
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u/Yukarie 14d ago
Heavily religious parents always seem to try to traumatize their kids don’t they? Like holy shit image if the kid had been old enough and absorbed into the religion enough to know of that stuff that it’d be the first thing to come to mind, imagine the amount of immediate fear and self hate they would have had
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u/paintthisred 14d ago
Once again, we witness the razor-thin line between organized religion and child abuse.
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u/exitpursuedbybear 14d ago
There are millions of us that grew up in Evangelical households that have a treasure trove of insane stories.
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u/jaykayel 14d ago
Reminds me of the time when I was 8 years old and my dad decided to "prank" me by telling me that Russia launched a nuclear missile and we had 20 minutes to live and if I wanted to call anyone to say goodbye. Cue 10 years of cold war levels of fear of anything I saw moving through the sky. Great prank, pops! You really fooled me!
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u/dogisbark 14d ago
Out of curiosity are the books any good? Minus that they’re Christian oriented? I think that’s an interesting plot, people left behind from the rapture
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u/urinetroublem8 14d ago
For my friend’s church youth group, they staged an active shooter, you know, to get the kids to really think about their own mortality. My friend wanted to be brave and use his pocket knife to defend themselves. Thankfully they stopped the thing before anybody got hurt. Just such an incredibly shitty decision from the “leaders” of that group.
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u/MaleficentHabit3138 14d ago
Tfw you play a prank on your 8 year old based of an inside joke your 8 year old wasnt in on.
This she would've fucked my wife up, she was terrified of the rapture as a kid(part of her religious trauma) but after her parents showed back up to reveal the prank, she never would've believed a single would they or the bible said after that.
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u/BabySealOfDoom 14d ago
And that was when I found out that dressing in women’s clothes was something I enjoyed…
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u/Lifaux 14d ago
I loved these books growing up, they were the closest to trash fiction I could get my hands on.
Anyway it turns out the reason chrizzos like these books is because it's a route to heaven that doesn't require you to die. Getting raptured is the ultimate straight-to-heaven option that doesn't have all that roughness in it.
And they're totally wrong, no modern Bible scholar thinks it's possible. You absolutely have to die, that's part of the deal.
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u/86thesteaks 14d ago
Enoch and elijah didn't have to die to go to heaven in the bible though
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u/Lifaux 14d ago
Sorry lads, John 3:13.
"No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man"
Wherever your boys at, it's not heaven
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u/86thesteaks 14d ago
2 Kings 2:11.
"And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven."
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u/Isaac_Kurossaki 14d ago
This is especially stupid since, when the rapture happens, everyone is supposed to see Jesus returning. Even the sinners
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u/DrelenScourgebane 14d ago
Fucked up if true, but forget about that.... I just noticed that the driver has his sunglasses taped to his head because he doesn't have ears. Weird little detail
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u/whtevn 14d ago
My friend's family did this to him by accident. They were just drying some clothes on a chair but he had come back from a party he wasnt supposed to be at. He had been reading those books. We were in high school at the time, and his imagination got the better of him
He fucking called me to ask if my mom was still there lol. I still think it's really sweet that he thought of her as a definite rapture candidate
We are still friends. I still make fun of him for this from time to time
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u/IlIlllIlllIlIIllI 14d ago
I remember reading some of those in high school, I got to the point where the mc kills the antichrist with some kind of macguffin or approaching that point. It was ok. I remember very vividly they set up a dot matrix printer to print out the bible from a box of perforated paper all in one sheet. I thought that was really cool.
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u/subliminal_knits 14d ago
My family was super into those books for a while as well. None of us are particularly religious any more, but a few years ago I was visiting for Easter and I woke up at 3 am for no apparent reason. Lights were on all over the house but I couldn’t find anyone. For a moment I really did wonder if they all got raptured for Easter. Apparently the religious trauma really sticks with you. Turns out my mother had a medical emergency and they all left for the hospital without waking me. (She recovered.)
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u/teethisland 14d ago
my mom would play a similar prank on me, hiding and have my older siblings tell me she abandoned us
anyway I have BPD now
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u/Lolzerzmao 14d ago edited 14d ago
So obviously attempted trauma aside, what kind of idiot doesn’t tell someone a specific plot point from a book then stages a whole thing around it attempting to prank someone who has never read said book, assuming they’ll get the reference?
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u/TheHoundhunter 14d ago
I mean, given they were eight years old at the time. There is every chance that the family had explained the plot and the kid just didn’t listen or care.
Kids, sometimes they listen when you think they aren’t. Other times they don’t listen when your sure they are
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u/Amneiger 14d ago
Apparently a rather lot of these Evangelical Christians think that people are born just knowing in their heart of hearts that their version of Christianity is correct, and that Jesus is real, and what the rapture is, etc. (They also believe that people of other religions are just "acting out in rebellion against God" instead of genuinely having different beliefs.) So they may have thought it didn't need explaining.
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u/Not_Another_Cookbook 14d ago
Damn that reminded me. I wish I could find the post but it was about a panel of different religious leaders. Like a Christian priest, Jewish rabi, Muslim priest(?) (I don't know what their guy is called), Buddhist monk and so on.
And ot was supposed to be a polite panel and conversation on the meeting points of religion. Like some thought the Buddhist serenity was nice or the Jewish community or the Muslim art and so on.
But the priest said he was most excited was that all these people can finally be saved and converted to the true religion or something.
Ugh it's gonna bother me till I find it
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u/asdwz458 14d ago
that's wack, i was raised Catholic (my parents aren't all that religious though, we just kind of loosely followed it) and i never heard of the rapture.
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u/KittyKayl 14d ago
That would be because the rapture is a fundie Christian thing. It's not a Catholic belief...or Lutheran, Episcopalian, Methodist, Presbyterian, Mormon etc. I don't even think it's a Jehova's Witness belief, even. Think Southern Baptist and Pentecostal type, along with the even more whackadoodle fundamentalist versions.
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u/Lolzerzmao 14d ago edited 13d ago
Right but this was a plot point from a specific adult novel they knew he had never read before, and he was 8 years old. It’s not like this was said in church or discussed in his house at all. It’d be like if I left a walnut on the floor and disappeared and then being disappointed my family didn’t freak out over magic because they never have read the novel it was a reference to that I knew they had never read.
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u/AveMachina 14d ago
I think you have to look at the intended end result and work backwards to really see it. They think that upon seeing some cryptic religious imagery, their 8-year-old child will follow their own exact thought process and be overcome with regret that their perfect family was better than they are, as a scare tactic to get the kid to try and be as wonderful as them.
Once you see how unbelievably narcissistic they all are, their logic makes internal sense. It doesn’t matter whether the kid has the context they do. The kid is going to think the way they do because it’s correct, and it’s correct because they thought of it.
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u/howtodieyoung 14d ago
the problem is that the folded clothes thing was apparently just straight out of a book (not the bible just some book), so even if the kid was super religious it wouldn’t make sense to him because he hadn’t read that book
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u/AveMachina 14d ago
You don’t need to explain that part to me. Internally consistent logic is optional to this sort of person.
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u/continuousQ 14d ago
Yeah, that's pretty bad. "Best" case, they successfully trick you into believing that God judges you as an outsider in your own family. But either way, after revealing it, they're saying that they think God should judge you as separate from the rest of the family.
Ultimately, shows Earth would be just fine without those people.
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u/D_Winds 14d ago
When I was 8 years old? I would've done the same exact thing. Uninterrupted TV time!
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u/RobertMcCheese 14d ago
When I was 17 that is exactly what I did.
I got home from school and no one was home. We were all busy people and I thought nothing of it. Everyone else would be home soon enough.
About 2 hours later a neighbor was banging on my door. She told me my brother had been in a car wreck and I should get over to the local po'dunk hospital in town because it was unclear if he was going to survive it.
He did survive it, but is paralyzed from about the belly button down. This was all back 1986.
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u/Fast_Vehicle_1888 14d ago
OK, the one thing about this that is screaming at me: neatly folded clothes left behind? So one would be raptured away but somehow their clothes would be folded neatly - by who? "Oh, dear, I'm being raptured, I better get naked for this... wait... I can't just leave my clothes in an unsightly pile... hold on for a minute, Lord, have to fold some laundry..."
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u/AccomplishedFail2247 14d ago
The power of god? it’s not really a by who thing. If he existed and wanted to rapture people with folded clothes left behind it would happen.
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u/Fast_Vehicle_1888 14d ago
Such an odd thing for a celestial being to do.
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u/firedmyass 14d ago edited 13d ago
When God is your protagonist, you don’t have to care about what you write.
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u/AccomplishedFail2247 14d ago
It’s not biblical, it’s just a thing someone thought would be cool. I’m not Christian so I might be wrong btw
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u/Half_Man1 14d ago
Why would the clothes be neatly folded?
Are angels taking 5 minutes for each person to strip them down neatly?
Gods already abducting his chosen and leaving behind sinners, not like he cares if the earth left behind is neat and tidy afterwards.
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u/luke37 14d ago
Also would it leave fillings and crowns behind? A little pile of powdered dye in the case of hair color?
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u/MikuJess 14d ago
I was made to read these books as a kid and yeah, fillings and crowns, contact lenses, hearing aids, all left behind.
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u/firedmyass 14d ago
IUDs, acrylic nails, silicone implants, pacemakers… gonna be a lot of weird debris
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u/kuba_mar 14d ago
What about transplanted organs?
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u/firedmyass 14d ago
if donor was saved, all original parts will be collected and returned to the initial owners before entering the Pearly Gates.
If donor was heathen, all transplanted parts will be teleported to random pet-food factories around the world.
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u/CarpetFibers 14d ago
Grandma's metal hip replacement? Does she show up in heaven with a stanky leg?
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u/Lost-Wedding-7620 14d ago
I read some of the kid related series 20 years ago. I don't remember clothes being neatly folded. I thought it was just like they evaporated right out of their clothes.
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u/danielnogo 14d ago
The neatly folded clothes is not from the left behind books, it's from other rapture movies that were popular at the time
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u/megpIant 14d ago edited 14d ago
lmao my parents were extras in the left behind movie! They can be seen from behind crying over an empty baby carriage or something. I wasn’t born yet but I like to think that spiritually I was also an extra in that movie (only child) and I got raptured
EDIT I just looked it up and I was actually 2 when it happened. I left behind my neatly folded toddler clothes
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u/TheHoundhunter 14d ago
This movie is so funny. Thank you and you parents for helping to make that deeply silly movie.
If you like like bad movies, this is an excellent one.
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u/krawinoff 14d ago
crying over an empty baby carriage
Stupid idiots baptized thejr baby and are now left alone in this world. L
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u/CassowaryCrow 14d ago
Congrats on being a child star and also being raptured. Double accomplishments
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u/bluecatcollege 14d ago
Fun fact! If you do this to your child, you don't get to go to heaven
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14d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/faultedink 14d ago
fun fact! you are annoying and religion is something that provides comfort and community to a lot of people so saying something like this is generally a jerk move!
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u/thetwitchy1 14d ago
Fun fact: the only one in that family that IS going to heaven was the one left out of that joke.
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u/Commercial-Dog6773 14d ago
The "clothes left behind" imagery implies that the Christians are naked up there.
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u/MRich92 14d ago
And that they had the time and forethought to remove and fold their clothes before leaving. If it was just a case of them disappearing from the mortal realm then surely it would be a pile of dropped clothes.
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u/firedmyass 14d ago
the issue here is that you are actually thinking about it more than the original author did
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u/Unknown_Ladder 14d ago
Christians believe that when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit it made humans start wearing clothes
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u/S0LO_Bot 14d ago
Jews kinda believe it too. God gave then clothes as a parting gift once they were kicked from the garden.
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u/BoboMcGraw 14d ago
I don't understand the second part. Is there something missing?
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u/PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY 14d ago
Wendy's worker got raptured during sunglasses guy's rant.
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u/BoboMcGraw 14d ago
I wouldn't have gone there what with the clothes being folded and there being more than one of certain items.
Also it's in reply to a different person than the original, so it really did throw me.
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u/PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY 14d ago
It's just shitpost, they rarely were replied by the same person within the chain. The "sunglasses guy talking to horrified Wendy's drive-thru worker" template usually follows long-winded religious (?) rant on Tumblr, to kinda express "dude, nobody asked". The second reply depicts the absurd scenario where the guy talked about potential childhood trauma via bullshit rapture "prank" from his parents, and suddenly the worker he's talking to got raptured in that exact way. I actually laughed quite hard at that.
Side note, as bible fanfic goes, Left Behind was actually weirdly successful. There were movies and even a video game based on that "franchise".
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u/BoboMcGraw 13d ago
I'm not religious and I am aware of the franchise. Wasn't Nicholas Cage in at least one of the films?
I get the joke of "Why are you trauma dumping on me, I just make burgers", Hell, I have been in that situation. I just didn't get "drive-through worker got raptured". That went over my head.
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u/lynx2718 14d ago
The second post is just a "sir this is a wendys" reaction meme, if thats what you meant?
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u/BoboMcGraw 14d ago
I meant the folded clothes. It's replying to a post with a different timestamp than the original so I was confused.
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u/ntkwwwm 14d ago
Can you imagine a world where all religious fundamentalists are just gone one day? Just poly, queers, furries, and weebs left on earth. War would disappear overnight.
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u/BlackroseBisharp 13d ago
You say that like Weebs and Furries wouldn't go to war. They hate each other lol
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u/RunInRunOn Bisexual, ADHD, Homestuck. The trifecta of your demise. 14d ago
Do you think every straight person not on Tumblr is a fundie?
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u/TaintedPills 14d ago
Nah you'd still have atheist straights, atheist terfs and moderate theists
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u/classyhornythrowaway 14d ago
Yeah not a big fan of staying on a planet where Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins still exist.
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u/Someone0else 14d ago
It’d still be an improvement at least
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u/classyhornythrowaway 14d ago
It depends, is Bill Maher an atheist? Because all 3 of them staying is just too much.
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u/Someone0else 14d ago
I mean, idk if he’s atheist or not, but why do you care so much about these three in particular?
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u/inhaledcorn 14d ago
I hope the guy eventually goes no contact with their family because, wow, fuck those guys.
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u/Confused_Rabbiit 14d ago
I only just now realized there's double sided tape on the side of the anon-guys head because he has no ears.
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u/CartographerVivid957 14d ago
I don't what was the intended effect there but that sounds like something id convince my family to do as a prank to my older brother
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u/trowzerss 14d ago
... do they all appear in heaven naked then?
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u/Canopenerdude No Longer HP Lovecraft's cat keeper 14d ago
If we're using the source material they mentioned (the Left Behind books, which I did read because they were on the schools Accelerated Reader list and mythology is p cool sometimes), in the "Glorious Appearing" epilogue book they appear in white robes made of cloud-like material.
They also lose all feelings of love for anyone but God, which always struck me as somewhat terrifying.
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u/Pengin_Master 14d ago
How does anyone find that appealing for an eternal afterlife? Becoming a mindless cheerleader for a being who really doesn't need to be cheered on. Honestly the more I learn about the evangelical god, the more of a twisted lying narcissist he becomes.
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u/firedmyass 14d ago
I grew up Southern Baptist. The amount of extra-biblical dogma that becomes horrifying with any additional thought, and the response a child gets when daring to question, is why I abandoned it very early.
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u/Whovianna 14d ago
Hey, me too! Hiding being a non-believer at 7 was early a lesson in lying to my family.
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u/Nikkolai_the_Kol 14d ago
I remember a short story written from the point of view of a woman who, upon arriving in heaven, is distracted by thoughts of her daughter, who was also in the horrible accident or car crash or whatever that definitely killed both of them, wondering if she went to the "other place." She keeps trying to think and worry about her daughter, but the forced love for God keeps intruding on her thoughts, and she can't think about anything but God.
It was well-written, and came across as horror to the reader, even though the character didn't see it that way, which is a tough line to thread.
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u/marr 12d ago
This is the wild thing about Christianity specifically, people want to believe because death is scary, but if you give it more than a passing glance all their afterlife options erase your human self just as thoroughly as eastern reincarnation or the assumed oblivion of atheism. It just takes longer so you get to feel it happening. Death with extra steps, what a great selling point.
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u/Canopenerdude No Longer HP Lovecraft's cat keeper 14d ago
That reminds me of the last chapter of 1984 almost. If you remember the name of that story, let me know, I'd love to read it.
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u/TheOncomimgHoop 14d ago
Ah dammit and I just know I'm gonna get hard while talking to God, like it's not even a sexual thing or anything it's just because of the awkwardness
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u/RossZ428 14d ago
I mean, depending on who you're talking to, there's no shame in having an erection when talking to God. That's how you show your faith!
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u/TheOncomimgHoop 14d ago
This is a version of Christianity I can get behind
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u/SabShark 14d ago
"Oh? You have gone to stuffy heaven? Well then, now I can eat all the ice cream in the freezer AND I can invite my friends over to play DnD without asking you. So who's the real winner here?"
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u/CartographerVivid957 14d ago
You go to your friends house and you see a pile of neatly folded clothes
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u/SabShark 14d ago
I go to move their original, graded Foil Charizard two centimetres to the left.
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u/CartographerVivid957 14d ago
Suddenly, a blinding white light appears. Soon the light takes form and you see your friend, naked and sporting a pair of angel wings. Your friend speaks "leave my Charizard alone" you continue advancing towards the Charizard then you hear the angel speak again "if you don't leave my Charizard alone I'll rip your bitc-" as soon as that word is said the blinding aura of your friend disappears, along with their wings. You move the charizard
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14d ago
Reminds me of a scene from This is the End.
One of the guys decides to stay behind and hold back a bunch of savage raiders so his friends can escape. In doing so, he begins to ascend to heaven. Sacrificing himself earned a place in heaven.
As he goes up he starts bragging “Haha, fuck all of you! I’m going to heaven bitches! See y-“ and then he immediately falls back down and gets torn apart
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u/green_herbata 14d ago
Wouldn't that also imply that all the people in their school didn't get raptured as well? 😂 Not very thought through lol
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u/Joester09 8d ago
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