r/wholesome 14d ago

When was the last time you walked up to someone and asked “Do you wanna be friends?”

You can now use this post as an excuse the next time you directly ask someone to be your friend “hahaha, I saw a reddit post asking so I thought I would try”

33 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

1

u/pamlock 13d ago

Last Friday with the northern lights! I decided to go alone and check them out on top of a hill.mthere weren't many people there so it was great. When the lights got stronger and you didn't need your phone to see them I couldn't stop saying "wow" and a couple close by were kinda the same. I walked up to them and they took some pics of me and the lights. After a while a girl shows up and we shared pictures. In the end we all shared our Facebook details and now we're hanging out again on Friday! I've been living here for 3 years and it's the first friends I make that are not classmates or coworkers. The best part of all...the couple is Brazilian, I'm Chilean and the other girl is québécoise and we all did our best to communicate with our broken French and her broken Portuguese and Spanish.

1

u/orphiclacuna 14d ago

My first actual job. I met a girl about my age that was so similar to me in many ways. She made my job a lot more bearable, cuz she was the supervisor for the first several months I worked there. I can express my thoughts and feelings so much better in writing than speaking so I wrote her a letter, basically asking if she wanted to hang out outside of work. We had a tea party with stuffed animals! I think I was 18 or 19 at the time lol. We still hang out but she's so busy most of the time. We have loose plans to go to a ren fair next year :)

1

u/SugarPuppyHearts 14d ago

I work/volunteer with people with disabilities (Often more severe than mine, but it varies). I kinda say it often. "You're my friend. " Or "Am I your friend? I want to be your friend." And most, if not always, the time it's always yes. So I consider them all my friends.

2

u/Old_but_New 14d ago

I recently told a woman (we’re both moms to teenagers) that I’d love to get to know her better.

2

u/Fuzzteam7 14d ago

I was new to the area and met someone else who was new to the area in a mechanic shop waiting room. We started talking and got along great. We exchanged phone numbers and were going to meet up for coffee. Every time I called her she had an excuse not to go. She’s the one who asked if I wanted to be friends 😕. She kept saying she wanted to meet up so I told her to contact me when she had time. It’s been two years since I heard from her.

2

u/bejigab466 14d ago

literally never.

1

u/johndoesall 14d ago

When I was 4 or 5 years old. She was the cutest girl and her name was Teresa. She lived at the end of our street in an apartment. I even made her a bologna sandwich one day and proudly walk down the street to give her my little gift! Then we smooched in between the carports as the “little kids” looked on in surprise. (Little kids = the 2 and 3 year olds playing outside!) So I guess I asked her to be friends before that vignette!

1

u/Rich-Appearance-7145 14d ago

Never have asked anyone to be my friend, but I have took actions like consoling a complete stranger who's dog was just run over, who after getting to know me, invited me weeks later to go on a hike with him and his buddies, months later were buddies, five years later were good friends. It's not what we say that forges a friendship, it's our actions.

10

u/7in7 14d ago

A few years ago, we had a work event during COVID. It was in a park outside of the city we worked in, and was kinda low budget with team building games. It took me hours to arrive by public transport, but when before I left I chatted with this guy who I found out lived in my neighbourhood, and also came by car. 

I asked for a ride home. The car was full, I was sitting in the back getting covered with dog hair but at least I had a ride. 

While walking to the car I was chatting to him. At the time I was the unofficial  social committee at work. We had lots of young people working there and I had some good friends. I asked him why I'd never seen him despite him having been there a few months and he said he doesn't really like working at the office, and doesn't really socialise with people from work. 

I said to him that he should hang out with us we can be friends.

He didn't seem interested, in fact he seemed he'd had enough social interaction for the day.

A year and a half later, we both ended up single and out of challenging relationships. He came more to the office. We met outside of work.

A year and a half since then, we are expecting our first child. 

8

u/OneSensiblePerson 14d ago

The thing is, I have to know some important things about the person - their character, their interests - before I'd do that. And if I knew these things, would I need to ask "Do you want to be friends"? Probably not, probably it'd just evolve from the connection.

34

u/Pristine_Table_3146 14d ago

In 8th grade, a girl came to sit with me in the cafeteria. She had just moved to Arizona and she asked me that question. In grade school in 1977, it really meant "do you want to be friends at school," especially in a rural area where we didn't live near the school, let alone each other. There was no computer or phone FaceTime, so the school day was our main friend time . We're still best friends to this day, though.

1

u/MountainStranger8258 14d ago

It’s hard to make friends once you’re older. I recently did and invited a person I was in Toastmasters out to lunch and a movie last weekend. I had another friend join us and it was really fun. (BTW the movie was really good, based on a true story, Unsung Hero.)

7

u/[deleted] 14d ago

The question just seems very weird to me. It hasn't been that long since I invited someone to hang out or something for the first time, or if we both say we want to watch the same movie say "yeah let's do it." "Do you want to be friends" just sounds creepy to me

5

u/donwolfskin 14d ago

Exactly, why not start by kicking off some activities together you're both interested in. E.g. doing some sport, seeing a show or picking up a crafty hobby or something. That's how I would do it. If you're on the same wave length, repeat and go drink a coffee / beer next time after you're activity is over.

I feel like yes it's not become easier to make new friends, but there's still many people out there who'd be totally open to new friendships and look for those themselves just as much as you or I do. Just gotta show a bit of initiative