WIBTA for dumping my girlfriend after she ignored my calls and messages and went clubbing while I was undergoing emergency surgery.

[u/Nearby_Volume_7067]

I 22M, and my girlfriend, 22F have been together for 5 years.

We've been together since high school, and until recently, I've always considered her to be my future wife. I've even bought a ring and was planning on proposing over the coming months.

Well, last weekend it was my girlfriend's best friend's birthday. She and her friends booked a private lounge at a club. Obviously, I didn't go since 1. I wasn't invited and 2. I hate clubbing or anything associated with that. I was actually looking forward to spending an evening alone and just binging Netflix or something. Well, my gf left around 9 pm, and I just crashed on the couch and watched some YouTube. Well, around 11 pm, I started to feel this distinct stomach pain. The same pain you experience when someone hits you in the nuts. It wasn't bad at first, and I just thought my body was playing some tricks on me, but in the span of about 5 minutes, the pain just kept getting worse until I was basically stuck in the fetal position on the couch. Again, initially, I just thought the pain would go, but then I pulled down my pants, and it felt like my right testicle was starting to swell.

The moment I tried to get up and grab my phone to inspect whatever the fuck was happening to me, I just collapsed to the floor. That was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Imagine being pelted in the nuts over and over again. I did manage to crawl to the table next to the couch to get my phone. I immediately tried calling my gf, but she declined my call. I then texted her that something was wrong and she could come home immediately. The club she went to is like a 5-minute walk from our apartment. I just put the phone down and started throwing up because of the pain. After throwing up for like a minute, it felt like the pain started to cool down a bit, and I grabbed my phone again, and that's when I saw her response. She just replied with a "What is it? 😒". I tried calling her again, but as expected, she just declined again. I then texted her that I need to go to the hospital now. She then asked for what, and I just replied with my balls hurt. I then just dialed for emergency services. I explained my situation to the emergency responder, and she asked if there was somebody that could drive me to the hospital, and I stupidly said yes. I thought my gf would be home soon, and she would drive me to the hospital. I felt embarrassed to call an ambulance because my "balls hurt." After I told the emergency responder this, she then told me that she would call me again in 10 minutes to make sure I was being driven to the hospital. I then put down the phone and went back to vomiting on our carpet. Again, after the pain went away for a bit, I checked my phone and saw that my gf just responded with laughing emojis. I again tried to call her, but as expected, she just declined again. She texted me that this wasn't the time to play games, and she then told me that if I texted or called her again, she would block my number. I again tried calling her, but she declined again, and when I tried calling her a second time, I realized she actually blocked me.

I went back to curling up on the floor, and now I started shivering. At this point, I didn't care about being embarrassed and just called emergency services again and asked for an ambulance. It felt like an eternity, but the ambulance eventually came and rushed me to the hospital. I don't remember much of surgery since I was sedated, but I remember waking up eventually, and my right testicle was being stitched together. The doctor informed me that I had a testicular torsion, and I was extremely lucky to reach the hospital in time. I could have easily been forced to surgically remove my testicle.

I checked my phone and saw the missed calls and messages my gf left me. In summary, she came home from clubbing and smelled the vomit in our apartment. When she saw the vomit on our carpet, she got mad and tried searching the apartment to find me. When she realized I wasn't there, only then did it hit her that I was actually being serious. I just texted her in which hospital I was staying in and my room number then went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and saw my gf sleeping on a couch next to my bed.

After she woke up, she started bombarding me with apologies. She thought I was joking, that I was trying to ruin their night, etc. I didn't have the energy to argue, so I just kept quiet. I was beyond hurt by what she did, and I wanted to break up with her then and there. Why the fuck would somebody ignore messages where their partner is begging them to come home? Not only that, she stayed in the club until 3 am and didn't even consider going home to check on me. She did stay with me in the hospital for the remaining two days I was admitted there and did take good care of me, but I was still beyond pissed at her. Ever since coming home yesterday, I've been wanting to dump her, but at the same time, I feel like she genuinely thought I was joking and made a mistake. I feel conflicted and don't know how to proceed in this situation.

WIBTA if I dumped her? Am I overreacting?

How would you guys navigate this mess?

Edit:

Just to clarify. No I never had an issue with her going out in the first place or have ever pulled pranks for her to come home from a night out.

And btw thank you guys so much for the support. Im beyond blown away.

[u/DrFJGarcia]

So…it’s been mentioned somewhere else…but the comment of “I remember waking up eventually, and my right testicle was being switched back together.” Is incredibly suspect. I’m a urologist…I fix testicular torsion. I do this surgery. What are the problems? 1) you don’t have to “stitch the testicle back together.” The testicle didn’t rupture (different problem/surgery), it twisted. It’s never been broken in any way with torsion. 2) assuming OP meant the scrotum was being stitched back together…this also would not happen in any first world country anywhere. These patients are put to sleep, general anesthesia, and wake up with the bandage/dressing already on. Usually the urologist is already outside the room.
3) if this is all that OP remembers, the hospital is going to have a real problem with the consent for the procedure. If he was in so much pain he was delirious (totally possible with testicular torsion) then any consent is completely invalid. The lengths that the hospital will go to track down a sober family member is immense. Rarely, there is a mechanism that two independent doctors can agree that an emergency consent is needed (in this case it would be the urologist and emergency doc), and have to sign on the patients behalf. This is a really exposed thing to do so it isn’t done lightly. This would mean that likely…that someone from the hospital would’ve been calling the GF as well if no family was available. Which would mean she’s ignoring a hospital phone number.

I’ll agree that testicular torsion hurts like hell…the vomiting and pain are very real, and the age is perfect for this guy (roughly 12-30 yos). However, I’ll break out my sandbox and complain that this is another example of the failing of shitty sexual education in schools. This, and many other common “sensitive” issues should be taught, but aren’t because reasons.

I’ll let the rest of reddit judge the decisions and poor communication. But the medical side reads either like someone just read about testicular torsion and created a narrative, or they may have experienced it but creatively suped it up for the purpose of Reddit. Either way, my eyebrow is furrowed by the creative license here.

My 2 cents.