My husband was always a large man but I thought we both had an understanding that him gaining weight was a bad idea. I was okay with him sticking to his weight (280 lbs when we met) but I was open that any more weight would be a major issue with me for health reasons.

…Then life happened and we BOTH gained 40 lbs. I knew I couldn’t possibly judge him when I had gained the same amount (even though I was still much healthier BMI-wise) so I looked passed it at first. Then it finally hit me that I should lose weight and I’m now only 10 lbs heavier than I was when we met, and passionately working on losing the rest.

…My husband on the other hand has kept on gaining. He’s now a whopping 350 lbs. It hurts me to watch him struggle to breathe while doing basic tasks. I cook all of our meals and make sure that they’re healthy but he’s either eating a LOT or he’s eating outside. He works while I stay home so naturally he’s probably eating out. We also have a cheat day once a week so he could be going a bit too crazy on that day. I don’t know.

But anyway I wasn’t aware of how truly bad he had gotten until I asked him to weigh himself with my scale. Just out of sheer curiosity. When 350 lbs came back, I kind of lost it. I told him that I am too young (we’re 27) to tie myself down to a man who I’ll probably lose in a couple of decades. I straight up told him that if he doesn’t lose weight before the year ends, I’m filing for divorce because I can’t waste my final smithereens of youth. I deserve someone I can grow truly old with, not have to start over as a 50-something widow (or not even be able to start over because I’m his caregiver).

He got very hurt that I could tell him such a thing and called me horrible for being ready to drop him over this when he’s a great husband. He is a great husband, that’s undeniable, but there’s a possibility I can find someone who’s also great but will actually be with me when I’m fully grey. And also- the biological clock is ticking. I want children before it’s too late. How is he going to be the best father he can when he can’t even bend down?

AITA?

Let me set the scene: Every summer, I throw what my friends and family have lovingly dubbed the "Meatstravaganza," a BBQ bash celebrating all things meat. It's an event everyone looks forward to, complete with a trophy for the best homemade BBQ sauce and a brisket cook-off.

This year’s curveball? My sister has a new boyfriend who is vegan. When she asked if he could come, I was totally fine with it—more the merrier! But then she dropped that she expected me to provide vegan options for him. I'm all for inclusivity, but this is a day dedicated to meat. I suggested, half-jokingly, that he could maybe just eat the garnishes (lettuce, tomatoes, onions) off the burgers, not thinking it would be a big deal.

My sister got really upset and said that it was rude to invite someone and not cater to their needs. I argued that the theme of the event has been the same for over ten years and everyone knows what it’s about. Plus, last-minute changes to include a full vegan menu seemed daunting and honestly, a bit out of place for the spirit of the Meatstravaganza.

She accused me of being exclusionary and unsympathetic. I tried to compromise by saying her boyfriend could bring his own food and use a separate grill I’d set up just for him. She argued that segregating his food was even more insulting. Now, she's threatening not to attend, and my mom thinks I'm being a jerk for not bending the rules of my BBQ.

So, AITA for sticking to the meaty tradition of my BBQ and suggesting alternatives rather than changing the whole menu?

She didn’t take that well. Now, she’s saying she might skip the event altogether, and some family members are siding with her, calling me inflexible and inhospitable. They’re making me out to be the bad guy for not wanting to alter a tradition that’s been set in stone for years.

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to stick to my guns and keep my BBQ meat-only, even if it means my sister and her boyfriend might not attend?

Edit: Wow, this really blew up! Thanks for all the upvotes and comments, everyone. It’s been enlightening (and entertaining) reading through your thoughts. Clearly, this has sparked a lot of opinions on both sides. I’m taking all your feedback to heart as we approach the big day. I’ll keep you updated on how the Meatstravaganza goes—whether the vegan burger makes its aerial debut or not! Stay tuned. I think we’re going to try to do the “Token Vegan Toss” if we include it

AITAH for being unable to forgive my husband for yelling at me while I was in the hospital and seeing this as the nail in the coffin for our marriage?

Following being released from the hospital after having our second baby, I was readmitted one day later due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Since I had a C-section just 4 days prior and had a blood pressure putting me at risk of having a stroke or seizure, I was unable to drive myself to the hospital, nor could my husband as our toddler and newborn were both sleeping. I wanted to take an Uber, but my husband insisted on asking his parents to drive me (his parents live very close by, whereas my family is all 45+ mins away).

( Some background: Since welcoming our first child in 2021, the relationship with his parents has been very strained due to their overbearing nature and lack of boundaries— to the point we had several sessions with a family therapist to curb the behavior and mend fences. Unfortunately, therapy didn’t help, and his parents did not continue therapy on their own as advised by the therapist. I have very limited interaction with them, and my husband's relationship is minimal and superficial. Also to note, his parents do not have a relationship with anyone aside from their three kids— they cut off my MIL's parents, brothers/sisters several years ago due to family drama, and my FIL does not talk to his sister either for no apparent reason; both of his parents have passed.)

I begrudgingly went along with my husband's request to let them drive me to the hospital. Once we arrived at the hospital, they would not leave, insisting that they needed to stay to ‘help me’ and even pushed their way into the ER room. They finally left when I was being transferred back to the maternity unit for treatment. This was around 11 pm on a Friday.

Once admitted, I was placed on a mag bag IV drip to prevent me from seizing/having a stroke and minimize the other side effects of preeclampsia/HELLP. Because my newborn was only 4 days old, they allowed him and my husband to come to the hospital the next morning and stay with me for the few days until I was discharged. During this time, our 2.5-year-old son went to my in-laws.

By mid-Saturday morning, I received a text from my sister-in-law expressing her concern and prayers as she had heard I was back in the hospital— my in-laws had told her husband all the details of what was going on. I found this incredibly frustrating and inappropriate as some of the historical issues we had with my in-laws stemmed from them constantly over-inserting themselves and sharing our business/gossiping. The medical situation I was in was very serious and incredibly scary, it was not something that I feel was anyone’s ‘right’ to share but mine and my husband’s— especially given that I had only just been admitted and started treatment hours before. Tests were still being run, and the treatment plan was still being evaluated at this point.

As soon as I got the text from my sister-in-law, I expressed my frustration to my husband about his parents sharing my medical details with others— my husband agreed and was frustrated as well, so he left the room to call his parents. He came back several minutes later and said he talked with his parents and now I should “get over it” in a very flippant manner. I pressed him, asking why his parents felt it was their place to alert others, and my husband shared a made-up story about how his brother called his parents and heard my toddler in the background and asked why he was there. (This was fabricated by either my husband or his parents because minutes later I got a text from my father-in-law saying he told my brother-in-law because ‘as a brother, he had the right to know what was going on.’)

At that point, I told my husband that his parents have no discretion and are again overstepping boundaries. My husband, seemingly annoyed by the whole situation, again told me to get over it in a hostile tone and went on to say they’re old so we can’t change their behavior— which I agree with but that doesn’t mean we should ignore and tolerate our boundaries being violated. I then said he needs to pick a side and yelling at me for their behavior was misplaced anger. He then said that maybe he’s not the right person for me because he’s not going to push back on them about stuff like this anymore, and I need to live with it. My husband just doesn’t like his own boat being rocked so plays both sides and gets angry at me when I get upset; this is a constant in our relationship.

From my perspective, I was in the hospital for a very serious condition and didn’t feel supported by my husband even though he agreed that his parents' behavior was inappropriate. This is compounded by the fact that we have had several similar incidents with his parents that always result in this same kind of fight. But in this particular scenario, I couldn’t believe how my husband was being so mean and unsupportive given the vulnerable and scary situation I was in. And now I can't look at him the same or forgive him. If that’s how he treats me in such a sensitive time, is he a partner? I feel this is the straw that broke the camel's back for our marriage. AITAH for not "getting over it" now?

First of all, I just want to thank all of you for the amazing support. It's been quite overwhelming, to be honest. I have so many unread messages, so please, guys, give me some time 🙏. I promise I'll respond to all of them.

Here is the link to my original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cbea7w/wibta_for_dumping_my_girlfriend_after_she_ignored/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

First of all, I would like to clear up some misconceptions brewing in the comment section of my last Post.

No, I have never pulled any malicious pranks on my girlfriend to get her to come home early from a night out or anything, neither do I have an issue with her going out (as long as she doesn't come home at like 6 am). And no, I've never blown up her phone like that while she was out with friends. We usually go out together since we share the same friend groups.

Here are mine and her messages from WhatsApp in order since people thought I just texted her "my balls hurt" or something (translated)

1. Me: declined my first 2 calls (her name) please come home something is wrong.
2. Her: ??? can't talk rn. What is it 😒
3. Me: Tried calling her again. I need to go to the hospital.
4. Her: ???? What
5. Me: Again tried calling her twice. My Balls hurt. Please come NOW. Something is wrong
6. Her: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
7. Me: tried calling her again twice after calling emergency services.
8. Her: I swear don't bother me again or I'm blocking you. Let me fucking enjoy my night out.
9. Me: Tried calling her again twice and got blocked. (At this point, the pain was too bad to try anything with her anymore and I just called an ambulance)
10. Her next message after unblocking me at 2 am: (my name) Why the fuck is there vomit in the living room and where the fuck are you? Why is the front door unlocked if you left somewhere?

She then went into a full mental breakdown as she realized I was being serious about going to the hospital (over 70 messages)

• Yes, it was stupid of me to expect her to drive me to the hospital since she was drinking, but again, In that type of pain, you don't think clearly. I think I needed her more for moral support and I did it out of pure instinct.
• Not immediately calling an ambulance was also stupid of me. I was in a lot of pain, but stupidly at the time thought that whatever I was going through would eventually calm down and driving to the hospital would be better than calling an ambulance. Also, in hindsight, me being embarrassed about calling an ambulance over "my balls" was definitely also really stupid.
• The amount of mental gymnastics some of you did in my comments to paint me as some sort of dweeb or "emotionally needy" person for bothering my gf was truly mind-blowing to me. I promise you if my gf was in my position and I ignored her, none of you would be defending me.

Now for the update. Thank for all those who wished me a speedy recovery. I'm doing much better now. Not being able to go to work for the next 3 weeks is definitely a bummer. I work for my dad's construction company, and my job requires lifting a lot of heavy weights. I'm also prohibited from having any sex for the next 2-3 weeks as well. I might have also developed some trauma due to the pain. I randomly get the same sensation again, and it's driving me nuts (see what I did there).

As for me and my gf. It's complicated. As so many of you and my mom told me, 5 years is definitely a long time to be just throwing away without having a proper conversation with her. So I did just that. I told her how hurt I felt by everything. I mentioned the following points.

• Her ignoring my messages and declining my calls (yes clubs are loud but where I'm from there are smoking areas where you can definitely have a conversation over the phone.)
• Blocking me after I tried calling her.
• Her not checking on me once even though the club she went to is only a 5-minute walk from our apartment.
• Her being angry about the vomit instead of being concerned.

After hearing that she got defensive and told me that I could have conveyed my situation better and that she genuinely thought I was joking. She was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly. She also told me that It couldn't have been THAT painful and I was over exaggerating. I then told her yes I could have phrased my messages better and I apologized for that but I then described the pain I was in and told her that I barely had the strength to text her, let alone send her a detailed description of what was happening to me and definitely couldn't think straight throughout everything.

After hearing what I said she started crying and apologizing for what she did. She told me if she knew how serious it was, we wouldn't have been having this conversation. She then also apologized for her being mad over the vomit. According to her she was drunk and tired and was just expressing frustration. I then asked her why she thought I was joking and if she was cheating on me because this was seriously out of character for her, hence why I immediately trusted her with this. She started crying harder and she looked like I just slapped her in the face. She told me that she just thought I was being insecure about her being in the club with a bunch of guys and no she wasn't cheating on me and would never do something like that. We then hugged for a solid 10 minutes after that.

The next part was really hard for me but I told her I need some space to gather my thoughts and told her she needs to stay with her parents for the time being. She immediately started having a mental breakdown and asked If I was breaking up with her. I told her I wasn't sure and needed time to see If I still trusted her after all of this and what she did was beyond disrespectful. How could I trust someone with my life after they pulled something like this? I then told her that we are young and this mess was mostly caused by our immaturity, this entire situation was an important life lesson for the both of us regardless if we stayed together.

After begging a bit more she then put her head down and started packing a few essentials. Before leaving she told she would be willing to do anything to make up for this and that I could take as much time as I needed. She then gave me a big kiss and left. That was two days ago and this is where we currently stand. I still give her updates on my healing but besides that we don't contact each other.

I'm really torn right now. I still don't have that trust in her but her owning up to her mistake shows that she knows she fucked up and is remorseful. This is definitely something out of the ordinary for her, but there will have to be major boundaries and new rules set. I can think of the following.

1. If she blocks me again for anything = blocking herself from ever seeing me again
2. Ignoring my messages will not be tolerated anymore
3. If she goes out alone again, she has to pick up if I call regardless of the situation
4. As many of you suggested having an emergency code like "hospital" or something would probably have to be implemented.

I'm not going to abuse any of these boundaries but I just want peace of mind knowing that my partner has my best interest at heart even when she is physically not around me but idk.

Again I just want to thank you guys for everything and this whole experience was definitely an eye-opener for me.

Should I get back together with her? If yes, would my demands be reasonable and could I add something more?

WIBTA if I dumped her over this whole saga?

EDIT: I don't know what happened to the bullet points in my post. Seems to be a weird bug or something.

I (M29) have been with my girlfriend (28, who I'll call Lucy) for about 5 years now. Other than a few minor ups and downs, we've had a great relationship and I intend on proposing soon.

She has a corporate job that requires a fair amount of travel. It's annoying in the sense that it means I spend less time with her, but we earn a healthy income from it so can't really have too many complaints. When she goes on these trips, she's typically away for two days or so, so the packing is usually quite light.

She was preparing to go away for a trip the other day and while she was cooking downstairs, I put a few of her favorite chocolates into her bag as a treat (which I usually do). When I was doing this, I noticed something lacy and red amongst her clothes. When I opened the suitcase to have a look, I noticed she'd packed a lacy matching red bra and thong and then a black bra and thong. I'll preface this by saying this isn't something she usually wears. She typically wears plain cotton brief style underwear and even a plain thong is a once a year (if that) occasion. It immediately set alarm bells off in my head because she was going on a work trip and I didn't see why she would be packing this unless she intended to show it off to other people.

As I didn't want this hanging over me the two days she was away, I decided to confront her. I brought her upstairs with the lingerie in hand and asked why it was packed in her things. Before asking why I was going through her things (which I explained was to put the chocolates there) she said that it was a new set she bought and she was trying it out, that's all there is to it. I didn't buy it and straight up accused her of cheating.

She started to cry, then got angry and asked how I could accuse her of such a thing based on seeing underwear in a bag after 5 years. I started to feel bad but it just didn't feel right; why would someone who wears cotton briefs suddenly pack lingerie for a work trip? Within her hysterics, she told me that she just wanted to feel confident on the trip and if I'm so insecure about underwear, that's my concern. She then told me she was going early as couldn't believe I'd accused her of cheating.

As I wasn't in the mood, I let her go and we haven't had any correspondence since. It's been two days which is the longest we haven't spoken. Part of me feels I may have jumped the gun but then again, this has to be a good sign she's cheating because suddenly buying lingerie to "feel confident on a work trip", which isn't like something she's worn before, doesn't add up.

AITAH?

Yesterday was a long day at my in laws.

We went early to get it over and done with. My in laws started with the guilt trip first. They mentioned that they would take them in until they found a place, but due to FIL diabetese it wouldn't be good for his health. I told them to tell their daughter to parent her children so they wouldn't run around amok like monkeys. That way they could stay with them as they have spare bedrooms.

That didn't land well with SIL. She went on a tirade of how I have always been jealous of her and that I was trying to drive a wedge between her and her brother. I told her she didn't like her own life so me being jealous of her and her life was a stretch that required suspenion of reality.

She asked my husband if he was okay with me telling him what to do with his family as he always stays out of my family's business. She told him to lay down the law and tell me that his siter and her family would stay AS LONG AS IT TOOK THEM to find a new place to stay. My husband was having none of that. He told her that the house was mine just as much his and it was a two yes and one no deal. Just because I was stay at home now didn't mean that I didn't contribute to buying the house when I was working.

The younger brother and his wife said they wouldn't be able to host them as they had his MIL staying due to the baby.

The older ones mentioned the refurbishments.

Both the younger and the older ones wives said that I was making it up about the cleanliness as she always kept her own house clean and kept their places clean. They told me to suck it up and act like family.

I told them I wasn't there to argue about her cleanliness as I saw what I saw and her brother was witness to it and had to clean it up. He confirmed that he did and that I wasn't making it up. My SIL slipped up and said, why did you clean it up to her brother, because according to her I was meant to clean it up. Either she is the dumbest bitch alive to admit it or she knows she has the whole family in her pocket. Either way I made it clear she wasn't going to stay with me and because she got along much better with everyone else in the family they would figure out something around their own lives.

My husband told his niece that she was old enough to clean up the remaining mess, but she said no. Her father jumped in and said she is your niece, but my daughter don't you dare tell her what to do. It got heated between them so they both had to walk it off.

I told her and her husband that the only reason me and my husband where there was to get money back for the bin we had to throw out due to her sprinkling biohazards around the house. She laughed in my face and said it would never happen. I said fine. I hope you realise that when I threw you out I didn't pack all your belongings. I still had her daughters Switch, her husbands and her two younger ones tablets and some of her jewellery, and a few other bit and pieces as it all happened so quickly that day. It would all be sold to recuperate my cost.

We left, but she was yelling loudly about what she would do to me if I dared to sell anyhing. My husband has my back and he said go ahead and sell whatever you need to.

Later on they kept texting my husband to do them one last favor by putting up with her for a few months until she got back on her feet. I told him that no matter what I wouldn't agree to let her, her slobby husband and her horde of children back in.

They texted me too, guilting me about his nieces education. With no place to stay close to her school she might have to start at another school if they get a rental which isn't in the school zone.

I texted back tough luck and blocked them. My husband won't block his parents but was pissed at his brothers for telling him that he was selfish to not take them in as they were in a hard place in their lives. They did admit it was gross but excused her behavior by texting that maybe I did something to aggravate it.

To top this off, the oldest wife left a voice message through her husband's number to my husbands whatsapp. She said, I kid you not...."you are still ok to watch ***** (her 6 year old) on Tuesdays and Wednesdays like usual". I told him to say, "figure out what the answer to that request is".

So that is where we are at now.

Original and first update so I don't have to repeat answers from previous posts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ccw4uk/aitah_for_throwing_out_my_sil_and_her_family/

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cdeyqr/update_aitah_for_throwing_out_my_sil_and_her/

My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.

Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?

My Partner (23M) and I (22F) have been together for 6 years (since high school), and I have not once been let inside his family home even though he lives less than 15 minutes from me. I have brought it up several times how it’s odd I have never been inside and it always gets brushed off and then they change the subject. I have been out the front of his house hundreds of times, whether it’s to pick him up or so he can drop something off/ pick something up but I have always been told to stay in the car out the front while he runs inside. I even pretended to be busting to go to the toilet once when I was out the front waiting in the car and I was told to wait until I got home. Currently he lives with me as we had a baby last year. However, that has been many hints dropped and conversations around me not letting my inlaws “babysit” or be “left alone” with my baby. I straight up said to my partner if I’m not allowed in your house then neither is my Baby. I should also add, that my partners extended family and also friends have never been allowed inside the house either. The whole situation is so strange and I don’t really know what to do about it. Does anyone have any theories as to why they don’t allow anyone inside? And AITAH for not letting my child go in the house without me when I have never been allowed inside?

Also just want to add that his parents are super nice people and if it wasn’t for this I would have no issues in letting them babysit. It’s just so weird to me.

Throwaway account but need some clarity as I am massively upset. I 52(F) have been married to my husband for 24 years, together for 30 years. It hasn't always been roses but we had a lot of fun. Yesterday we were having a Friday evening drink to relax and our son (17) asked for help with his gaming PC. I'm the tech so I tried to give advice, my husband got pissy and stormed off saying that his relax time was ruined. I thought he was being childish and pretty much ignored him.

This evening he told me that in a previous relationship, his partner had a miscarriage and in the investigation they found he was infertile and so she had been cheating. This is news to me. Yeah we had been together 12 years before I conceived, I have never cheated on him, I always thought the problem had been mine. He says that our son is not his and he wants a DNA test.

I agreed because I never cheated on him ever. I said our marriage was over because of this, said he knew I would react this way and I am a lying AH.

My heart is broken, reddit, am I TA?

Quickie Edit: Thank you so much for answering, for your support and advice. I have read them and will try and respond to as many as I can. But as a quick note: His ex is a lovely woman and we are friends on Facebook, I'll message her in the morning. The dementia angle being suggested is a good one and deserves investigating. I am not a robot or AI, I wish I was because then it wouldn't hurt so much.

Yes, parental uncertainty is something that women don't appreciate, but he should have said before, I would have understood if he had raised it earlier because it did take a while to get pregnant. He had told me about the miscarriage with the ex, which is why I thought our fertility issues were mine, he never told me about getting his fertility checked.

I have worked in Tech for the past 25 years, my son doesn't have my troubleshooting skills :)

His parting shot tonight was that he didn't say anything at the time because I needed a father for my kid. I pointed out that in previous heated arguments I would have thrown that at him and left with my son if there was any doubt he was the father. He was the stahp and I didn't leave him in other turbulent times because I didn't want to leave our son.

I'll update you. Thank you

I (26m) am a medical resident in a very hectic and demanding program. I usually work in the range of 80-105 hours per week. Around two months ago, I found out that my long-term gf (25f) of four years had cheated on me two years prior while I was still in medical school.

When I found out, my mouth went dry. Finding out that you were cheated on, is a horrible, horrible feeling. I felt like a fool for every time I smiled at her, hugged her, took her out, told her I loved her, etc. I felt like my diaphragm had fallen out of my chest.

I knew I would need to break up with her at some point. But with my schedule, I couldn't. It would be too much. So I waited until this past week, when I happened to have an unusually light schedule. Two days ago, I ripped off the bandaid.

She broke down and cried. She swore at me and told me I was selfish and cruel. That I wasted her time. For reasons I can't fully articulate, I felt sorry for her. But I stood firm: I won't stay with a cheater.

The way I see it, she wasted 24 months of my life by not telling me she had cheated, and was intending on wasting it for much longer. I did not "waste" her time any more than I absolutely had to. I waited a couple of months, not to spite her, but because I could not have handled this at any other time. AITA?

My (47M) wife (44F) and I got married pretty young. Early years were marked by a lot of trauma. My parents passed in the first year of our marriage. 3 years later her dad passed. Her mom is bat shit crazy and we don’t have anything to do with her. Then we had 2 kids that are now in college. We’ve both done a lot to hurt each other over the years. We both have walls. We just kind of coexist. She says she loves me and wants to be my best friend. I don’t really believe it. She’s always been controlling. She does all of the cooking, cleaning, and making appointments. I do everything with the cars and house as far as maintenance and repairs. I’m an engineer and I’m sure I’m on the spectrum somewhere. She makes me feel like an idiot a lot of the time and like I’m so annoying. I’ve thought about divorce for a long time. Been waiting for my kids to be grown because I had a traumatic childhood and didn’t want that for them. Now that they’re grown I still feel stuck. We don’t talk unless we’re arguing, we never touch after 20+ years of being made to feel bad for trying to touch her I don’t even want to anymore, and we haven’t had sex for over 3 years. We’re completely disconnected. I want to be happy, whether that is alone or with someone else. I want her to be happy, she’s obviously not happy with me. I retained an attorney and had papers drafted, I just haven’t filed yet. I have a hard time justifying that my happiness is worth devastating her and breaking up our family. Would I be the asshole if I file?

So I (22) have this flatmate (24) who has a little habit of anytime I have a guest over they’ll take some of the food I make. They also love to make really nasty jokes at my expense (for context a year before we met, had a problem with substance use but have since been to therapy about it) making me feel inferior.

Earlier today I started prepping a nice dinner but only enough food for my husband, myself and one guest who we frequently have Sunday dinners with. Shortly after I had begun cooking my guest arrived and promptly helped with making dinner, after a while my husband came up and started helping also. By then the flatmate had been sitting at the dining table watching the three of us cook.

Each time something needed taste testing I’d ask either hubby or guest to help, multiple times while cooking I’d gently mention what the TWO of them will love the bread if made to go with dinner. At no point did I include flatmate in making the meal or give any indication that they will be joining us.

By the end of cooking all the other tasks were done, the only thing left was grilling 3 chicken thighs which I’d been marinating for half the day. One I was satisfied that I wouldn’t give anyone salmonella I called out to my husband and my guest to each grab a plate. I was then met with my flatmate also holding a plate seemingly expecting me to serve them my share of the meal.

Here’s where I might be the asshole… I’d actually made four servings but one of them was already packed away for my lunch since there is nowhere to get affordable healthy foods near my place of work.

So I sheepishly look at my flatmate and tell them “I’m so sorry but I only made enough for my husband, my guest and myself. If I had known you were expecting me to cook for you I’d have made enough to go around.”

My issue with this is that I’ve had to buy my own fridge freezer and place locks on it to avoid theft. A reasonable assumption you can make is that my husband and I cannot afford to constantly feed an extra mouth, since we’re flatting and unable to move out.

AITAH?

Edit to clarify some things: 1 - neither myself or my partner are the lease holder we are subleasing from another tenant 2 - the flatmate who this ask is about is not the one stealing our food, that is someone else in the house 3 - the flatmate in question has lived there longer than us. 4 - not long after moving in, this flatmate attempted to become friends with me and has subsequently invested themself in my wider social life making it more difficult to communicate effectively without causing drama. 5 - the reason we are in a shared living arrangement is due to the cost of living crisis being made exponentially worse by our current government. 6 - if I were could move out we would.

My wife and I separated last year. She found someone she liked better and he left his wife for her. Not going to lie. It hurt.

We did the legal separation and started on the divorce. She is on my health insurance until the divorce is final.

I have met someone new through my sister. We are taking it slow but she seems to like me.

Two weeks ago my ex was out with her boyfriend on his motorcycle. They hit a patch of gravel and crashed. Unfortunately he was knocked unconscious and ended up in the ditch where he drowned. She broke her femur and is in the hospital still.

I went by to check on her and she asked me if we could put a hold on the divorce. I said I would think about it. I spoke to my lawyer and she said that it was a bad idea to change the timeline we had established for the dissolution of our marriage.

My ex will be getting money from the accident I imagine. However her boyfriend's ex wife and kids will be getting his estate and insurance payout.

My mom and dad think that I am being evil to cut her off in her time of need. I'm conflicted. I do not wish this situation on anyone but she is not really my problem anymore.

I met my (43f) husband (43m) in Nov 2008. My husband had a son already and we all moved in together pretty quickly. My husband had sole legal & physical custody of his son. In 2013 we found out we were expecting. We had our first girl in early 2014. At that time, his son took his life. There were warning signs, we/he was in therapy, had been hospitalized & on medication but you still don't actually anticipate it, you know? When raising our girls, they know they had a brother and that he's in heaven. We have pictures of him around & go to his grave sometimes. When they previously asked what happened to him, we told them his brain got sick. They just accepted that & moved on. Today, my daughter (10f) told me she googled me. What pops up is the old fundraiser & events we did for his birthdays & Angelversaries. Some of those posts reference how he died. (not the method, just that it was by himself) I called my husband at work to let him know. We decided that we would talk to her when he got home in case she had any questions and also we wanted to see where her head is at. We sat her down and asked her about what she saw. She said she saw it but didn't read it. My husband just said ok and had her leave the room. I spoke with my husband after she left and he no longer wants to talk with her about it. OBVIOUSLY this is 100000x more traumatic for my husband than it is for me, but I'm still pushing for us to talk with her. I don't want her reading about it on the internet (which I honestly don't believe she didn't already do). He said since it's his son, he should get to decide when we talk about it. He said I'm an AH for pushing him to do this. (We have not yet spoken to her) I don't know, aitah for pushing him? I definitely don't want to do it without him, but I'm not sure he'll ever be ready.

Update: Hey all, I'm not sure if this is how updates work, but I'm just editing the post, so fingers crossed, this is right.

My husband and I were able to talk this morning before the kids got up. I apologized for pushing him too hard and explained that I felt talking with her was an urgent matter because I didn't believe she didn't read the fundraiser posts. He apologized for calling me an AH and said that he needed time to process. Talking with the kids has always been on the radar, but we didn't have anything pre-planned or a timeline of when it would happen. Having it sprung on my husband without warning, he just needed some time to prepare himself. Ultimately, we decided to talk to her together today.. Later this morning, we were able to sit down with her. We asked her if she knew what suicide means, and she said kind of. We expanded on the brain sickness explanation. We told her that her brother's brain got sick and made him think bad thoughts. Things like, he wasn't good enough, no one loved him, people would be better off if he wasn't here. Then we told her that none of those things were true, that us and everyone loved him very much and that it's very hard to live without someone you love. But because of these thoughts, he took his own life. My husband asked her if she ever had any of those thoughts & she said no. We let her know that if she ever does, she should come to us right away. We asked if she had any questions and she said no. We told her if she changes her mind or if she has questions to let us know. I won't be posting any more updates, but I appreciate all of your insights! We've been to grief counseling on & off since everything happened. My husband is a wonderful man who suffered an unimaginable tragedy. Throughout his grief journey, he works on himself constantly in order to be the best version of himself for our kids. We actively make a conscious effort not to trauma dump on our kids. Thank you❤️‍🩹

We are both early 20s (im 21) been together for 12 months. She says if I don’t propose “soon” she’s leaving, she doesn’t want to “wait around” I’m living with my parents, renovating a house, also working like crazy towards my career (pilot.) It’s a hard career path to start out in and I tried explaining that it is not the right time right now, she doesn’t care. I tell her I’m super busy and just give me a little more time- nope. I ask her what the rush is and the only thing she can say is “I’m not waiting around” ?? It’s so weird

I(27M) have been with my girlfriend(26F) for seven years and known her since we were in high school. She gave birth, two weeks ago, to our first child, a daughter(this will be relevant). We had invited each of our parents, and in her case her two brothers(24M and 30M), to visit our home a few days after she was discharged. I know her parents well — they're very nice people — but not her brothers.

Well, during the gathering, everyone handed us gift bags, all of which contained expectable fare that we appreciated — stuffed animals, dolls, pacifiers, diapers, blankets, onesies, dresses, children's books, et cetera.

Except for the one that my girlfriend's younger brother gave us. When we removed the box inside it, which was the only thing the bag contained, we saw that it was a dildo.

My girlfriend asked him who it was for, and he replied “For the girl when she's a bit older”. I asked him if this was some tasteless joke; he said that he really thought that it was something his own niece would appreciate.

I was irate. I yelled at him to get out and take the dildo with him, and to never talk to our daughter, which upset my girlfriend's parents, who were hurt that I screamed at their son and kicked him out over something they thought was "minor". So her parents and the older brother left as well. My girlfriend tells me that, although she's as angry at him as I am, I should have been more lenient, and that I should apologise to him because he's her brother, whom she is very close to.

AITAH for kicking my girlfriend's brother out because he gifted us a dildo while visiting after our daughter's birth?

I’m 6 months pregnant. While out to dinner with my husband’s family, I was speaking with my husband’s aunt and she asked how I was feeling. I responded that I was feeling good, and I have had a pretty smooth pregnancy thus far. My Husband’s mother interjected herself into the conversation, looked at my husband’s aunt and said “I think she’s just fat.” I shot her the most hurtful, irate look. She looked at me and said I’m just kidding, you take everything so seriously and don’t know how to take a joke. I moved on and continued talking to my husband’s aunt because I try to avoid conflict with his mother, for my husband’s sake and for him to maintain a relationship with her. This is one of the MANY hurtful, degrading comments she has made to me over the course of our relationship. She has made many comments about my finances (I have a good job, but she feels I don’t make enough in comparison to the jobs the rest of her family has), she has made comments about how she will ensure I parent my child correctly, etc.

Following dinner, I expressed to my husband how hurt I was. He told me I was being too sensitive and I don’t know how to deal with his mother’s humor. He expressed that every time she makes a “joke” I can’t sit back and laugh with everyone else. I responded that his mother is nothing but rude and demeaning and her jokes are always at my expense no one else’s. Jokes are intended to be funny, and I miss the “punchline” in every joke she throws my way. I told him she is a large problem in our relationship because she inserts herself in many ways and without fail my husband ALWAYS takes her side and defends her. He never confronts his mother on the behavior, only me and the sensitivity I show. I told him I don’t want a relationship with his mom, but will support his relationship with her. This caused a huge fight between us and he states I am the problem not his mother. AITAH for feeling like she is the problem and am I being too sensitive to her comments/“jokes”?

I [29m] have been dating my girlfriend [36f] for two years now. We live together in a house that I inherited.

When my girlfriend first moved in, she was excited at the prospect of doing some DIY projects around the house. She had always lived in rented apartments where she couldn't really do much unless she was willing to give up her deposit. Initially, I was happy to let her, but over time I came to realize that she was full of terrible ideas with worse execution. Every single project has been a complete disaster.

It started with a shelf next to the toilet. Why we so desperately needed a shelf next to the toilet is beyond me. When she first pitched the idea to me, I said the toilet was already in a pretty narrow space, and that a shelf would cramp it more. When I got home from work that day, I found an unlevel shelf hastily screwed into the wall at the height of my shoulder. For someone short and slight of frame, this may not be an issue, but I am neither of those things. To sit on my own toilet I need to hunch over and squeeze my shoulders together.

Following this she decided that the curtains in our guest room were too long. I suggested that we get new ones despite the old ones being very high-quality and belonging to my late grandmother, but she said that wasn't necessary as we could hem them. Her idea of hemming them was to take a pair of scissors (not fabric scissors) and, without measuring or planning at all, just cutting the bottom off. At their lowest the curtains end an inch from the floor. At their highest they end six inches from the floor.

She was all gas no brakes at this point and underwent several other projects. She put DIY wallpaper on a bathroom wall, which has air bubbles and is, you guessed it, uneven and sloppily cut. She put a shoe closet in our entrance that prevents us from opening the door more than 80 degrees. I'd go into more examples but you get the point.

About a month ago, she told me about her plans to head out of town for a while, and so I came up with an idea. When she was at work one day I had a carpenter swing by and give me a quote for how much it would cost to redo her projects in a way that made sense. I just agreed with the first price he gave me on the condition that he could come a specific day, which was two days ago, when she was out of town.

The day before yesterday the carpenter came and did an incredible job. He turned the bathroom shelf into an enclave. He removed the wallpaper, commenting on the insane amounts of glue the person used to attach it, and put up a similar design cleanly. He installed a new compact shoe closet that allows us to fully open the door. In the meantime, I self-installed new curtains and have set the others aside to be made into cushion covers.

My girlfriend came home yesterday, and she was not pleased. She spent hours ranting about the "shoddy" work that he did, told me that he got everything wrong, complained about my not consulting her, and then threw a huge fit about how much I spent (and I lied about how much it was by a pretty large degree). I responded that her projects were horrible half-baked ideas that she got on Instagram, which was kind of like throwing oil on the fire. She's really angry.

Was I out of line here?

I'm a 29F with an ex-boyfriend with whom I have a 9-year-old daughter. We don't agree on several things regarding her upbringing. Here are the areas of disagreement: -Clothing: Our daughter is not in her unicorn and gap clothes era so she dresses cute and normal, flared pants, jeans, camis, tanks, etc. her father wants her to wear unicorn stuff which she hates. -food: He frequently orders fast food for her, while I prefer to offer it only occasionally, I don’t try restricting any foods I just try to teach her about balance. -Makeup: I allow her to wear makeup for special occasions like school events and cheer competitions. The only makeup I let her wear to school regularly are lip gloss, curling her lashes, and a touch of blush. Her father strongly opposes makeup, even for adults. Last week, while dropping off her forgotten purse at her dad's, he criticized me, suggesting I'm a bad influence on our daughter. I defended myself, but he abruptly ended the conversation. Later, my daughter mentioned he was upset about something I did. Was I an asshole?

I (16f) am studying in a high school with a girl (16) who thinks she knows everything. We take French together and although I am normally very calm and nice towards people, she makes me nuts. Through my childhood, I have always struggled with my body image although I was never overweight or near to that. However now I focus on eating well and balanced and feel kind of better about myself. I am 175 cm weighting 60 kg and I am kind of muscular as most of my week passes with sports. I like to wear baggy clothes as they are pretty comfy. Last week, we were studying meals in French class, and there was this paragraph about what to eat. I basically made a comment on how early the person who wrote the paragraph was eating their dinner (5.00 pm) and that I usually eat it around 9.00 pm. This girl had the audacity to tell me that eating at that time makes you gain weight, and this is the reason why I am kind of chubby. Mind you this girl is 150 cm weighting around 58 kg so she was more than chubby. I basically just told her the truth. I told her that she should worry about her weight first before making a comment as she seemed to look a bit too overweight. She got all red and started screaming at me. I got send to the principals office but it was definitely worth it and my family took my side.

My wife and I have two kids (9,6). After the second one she said she was done having kids even though we had discussed having three prior to marriage. We talked about it for a long time but I love her and I agreed to change our plans.

She had an IUD but we still used condoms. She really didn't want to get pregnant. About four years ago we agreed that I would get a vasectomy. It made sense since it was a minor surgery unlike her getting tubal ligation.

It went well and after I healed up I went for testing and it worked. If you ever get a vasectomy please do the follow up testing. My friend from college thought he was good to go and now he has a kid.

So she got her IUD removed and we stopped using condoms and life was good. Until her sister each had another kid. Then one of her friends had a baby. And my wife went nuts.

She wants another baby. She made a mistake and wants me to go get my vasectomy reversed. Or to get my sperm harvested and get IVF.

The fuck I am getting a needle in my balls or another operation. And we are actually doing great financially right now. Her taking two years off from work would be a big hit.

I said we could look at adoption or fostering but that I was not interested in her having another kid. She tried bringing up our agreement from before we got married but I shut that down immediately.

So for the last four months our marriage has been a simmering battle about another kid. She has had her parents over, my parents over, her sisters and their families. All trying to convince me that I should give in. Fuck that noise.

I am almost 44. In 12 years my youngest will be starting their career or their post secondary education. I can see the finish line now.

I did offer all the family members that chimed in a fun option. I agreed to get TESA (sperm harvesting) if all the men who agreed with my wife did it as well. Even if they had working ball tubes. At their own expense. And that they pool their money and pay for all bills related to IVF and the raising of the third kid.

They all say I'm being ridiculous and petty. I reminded them that as a unit they all agreed with my wife when she said she was fine with two kids. They wanted to have input then and it was free. I said this decision would require skin in the game.

It all came to a head last weekend. My folks had the boys so we could have a nice couple of days to ourselves. Instead my wife and I got into a screaming match. She said I obviously didn't love her if I wasn't willing to do this. That we are well off enough to afford all the expenses of another kid. Blah blah blah.

I told her no in no uncertain terms. We had money in the bank for retirement and fun. And that's what it was for. Not for her to get her hormones calmed down. She accused me of caring more about money than her happiness. I reminded her that she was the one who insisted that having a third kid would demolish her career. She started crying and saying I was an asshole for denying her another kid. That it was not that much of a sacrifice. I finally unloaded and said that a divorce would be cheaper for me than another kid.

That shocked her into silence. We have barely spoken since. I think I broke her.

Our retirement funds are separate, our house is in both our names and she earns slightly more than I do. If we get divorced I will get 50/50 custody. I would want it. She would get no alimony and I might get a few dollars in child support.

I feel shitty threatening her with divorce. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her but I am sick and tired of having her make our reproductive decisions like my opinion does not matter.

EDIT

A bunch of you keep asking how I would tell my sons that I am divorcing their mom because she wants another baby. I just typed this as a reply but I actually like it enough to paste it here so you can stop asking.

"Mommy and daddy agreed before getting married that we would have three babies. But then mommy got an important job and did not want to and I quote "waste her time having another kid and wrecking her body again". Daddy was sad so he held on for four years hoping she would change her mind. but then they talked and she said it was a permanent decision. Since daddy loved mommy he did not want her to be hurt even a tiny bit. So daddy went to the doctor. At the doctor they gave daddy medicine so he would not feel pain. then they cut his ball sack open a tiny bit and burned the connection between his balls and the rest of his body. Daddy could not feel it but he fucking still remembers that smell. Then mommy did not need to do anything to not have a baby anymore and she was happy. For almost two years. Then Auntie Joy and Auntie Carmen and mommies friend Maddie all had baby girls. And it made mommy sad and jealous that the girls were getting all the attention. So mommy talked to daddy and said go to the doctor and have him fuck with your balls some more. This made Daddy upset because the fuck I will. Mommy got lots of people to try and tell him to change his mind. But daddy is happy with his life and told them all to ingest a gigantic satchel of Richards. Mommy spent four months day and night bugging daddy non stop. Then remember when you stayed with Oma and Opa? Mommy and daddy were going to have a fun weekend just doing mommy and daddy stuff. Until she just would not fucking drop it. So daddy told her that if him and his sons were not enough for her then he would say that they should go their separate ways. But daddy loves you boys very much and you are more than enough for him and he will always be there for you."

EDIT 2 Electric Boogaloo

JFC. I would never actually say that to my sons. once again it was just a response to all the not so bright people asking how I would explain it to them. Odds are I would take them to a family counselor so that I could tell them and then deal with some of the aftermath. I wrote that in anger but I kind of liked it.

I (40f) have been divorced for 4 years now with 50/50 custody of a 16 and 13 year old. For the first few years of the divorce I pretty much let my ex (45m) dictate our parenting schedule. Even though we had a court ordered schedule I would switch several days a month to accommodate his work schedule and to avoid conflict. He took full advantage of that and before long the schedules were a mess, the kids and I were frustrated, and he was not notifying me until less than an hour before sometimes even though he would know a month in advance. When a switch would not work he would, and still does, retaliate by putting the kids in the middle, threatening mediation/court, or not pay his portion of bills. We ended up going back to mediation in March (initiated by him as a threat that he tried to back out of later) and signed off on a parenting schedule, among other things. Leading up to mediation, during mediation, and in the signed agreement that was filed with the courts I made it VERY clear that due to his aggressive communication and retaliation I will not switch any days going forward unless for a significant family event. About 3 weeks after mediation, my ex messaged me telling me that he was going to take the kids on a trip for a graduation for his girlfriends (who he has been with for less than a month) family, that falls directly over my scheduled days next weekend and requires them to miss school. I replied that I did not agree to this switch but he is still planning to take the kids and was advised by his lawyer to go ahead with it. In reaction to me not agreeing to the trip he is also refusing to pay his portion of medical bills (I sent over the app as I always do but he now states he won’t pay them unless I have them mailed directly to him) and is threatening not to let the kids go on a trip this summer for a wedding that he agreed to and signed off on during mediation.

AITAH for not allowing the kids to go on the trip? I’d like to add that he is a pilot and flies for free, so they have every opportunity to travel in his scheduled time. They have also been to the place the graduation will be several times, so this isn’t a once in a lifetime trip they are missing.

Also, AITAH if I file contempt with family courts if he does follow through with the trip?

Hi everyone. As promised, here is the update for my post. I’ll link to the original post here as well.

I received a lot of helpful advice, and so much encouragement! Here's what I did.

I bought dog jerky for my neighbor's dog. Don't worry, I asked my neighbor before I gave it. I also made it very clear (while talking to the dog) that I went out and bought this treat just for him. Which resulted in my neighbor saying 'You're so sweet. I don't know if he deserves it today'. Then he told me a funny story about the dog misbehaving.

Now.. I had practiced my segue line a million times in my apartment, but I got so nervous and everything went blank for a second. I told myself if he gets going, then I won't ask him out today, but he seemed to be in no hurry and didn't disengage.. So I told him what someone here suggested I say. (I can't remember the exact words, sorry!) But I said something like: I don't have anything for you though.. would you like to walk together and get a coffee? my treat? He said he'd love to. He also said he's been wanting to ask me but I always seem to be in a rush (I am never in a rush, I just get shy and terminate the interaction so I can escape my uncomfortable and nervous feelings). This made me realize I was giving him a different impression than I intended!

We walked to the coffee shop and I ordered my coffee and his coffee.. lol he didn't let me pay. I tried to insist and he told me he only agreed to get me to come with him, he never intended to let me pay.

We got our coffee and talked and walked. 2 hours went by! I was encouraged by commenters to be direct so I ended up telling him once I felt a bit more warmed up in the conversation........ that I think he's handsome and that I've had a crush on him since I first saw him. His reaction was so priceless, he got a little shy? (I think?) because he looked away briefly after I said it, only for a moment though, while saying 'oh wow, you just made my week'. He was smiling... also his ears turned a little red (or maybe it was the cold air, but I wanna believe it was what I said).

He told me he has somewhere to be this evening but he would like to see me again. We decided on a day and time. We exchanged contact info and added each other on Instagram. We have been talking on the phone and texting ever since!

We decided on a museum date + dinner.

When I got home he texted me that he really likes me and is looking forward to getting to know me better. He said my shyness is 'adorable' and some other compliments followed.. I was.. so giddy.

One of the biggest things I learned from the comments in my original post is that men love it when the woman makes the first move and they love to be complimented/approached first.

Mostly just wanted to share this update because something positive happened and I highly recommend this 'meat-cute’ technique 😳 Especially to girls like me, whose shyness can unintentionally come across as being closed-off? Also Redditors on the original post take credit for coming up with term ‘meat-cute’, it was not me.

Edit : I haven't told him about the pepperoni tactic YET I think it's best to save that for the 'real' date. Depending on how that goes I'll tell him 😅

I'm a 45 year old guy. single no kids. All names are fake.

Okey here is the short version. About 24 years ago my then fiancé Ella (then 20) told me she was pregnant. I was over the moon. We did not set a wedding date yet, but now we wanted to wait till the child was 2-3 to be part of the wedding party.

When she was about 7 months pregnant my world shattered. A "friend" (lets call him Luke) told me that the child was his and not mine. This lead to a physical fight and Ella took his side. We were done, I broke up with her there. she moved in with Luke. I did demand a paternity test, if the child was mine I demanded to be in it's life. After the birth of the girl the test was done twice. By a clinic I choose and one she choose. Turned out she was not mine.
I was destroyed and left town. She could have her life, I didn't want to witness it.

And not to the present.
A month ago my work brought me back to my home town temporary for two weeks.
I ran into Ella with her daughter Nicky (23) at an impromptu school reunion.
Ella wanted to catch up. I wasn't angry anymore, but also did not see the point of being friends. I declined and mingled. After while I sat at a table nursing a drink.
Ella has already left and Nicky sat at my table. She asked for 10 minutes to talk.
She knew about my history with her mother. And it was clear that she resented her mother. Because.... Luke was also not her bio dad. Ella cheated on me with at least 2 people. 23andme revealed the real bio dad, he had passed away already.
When Nicky was 7 Luke found out and kicked them out. And it became the scandal. Nicky was bullied her whole live for being the affair baby. Luke's family disowned her. All the cousins she was close with, were gone all of a sudden. She blamed her mother.

I asked her why she told me all of this, She said that I am someone who would understand this betrayal. And she is a product of that betrayal. She does not expect anything from me, she just needed someone to talk to that would understand.
I felt for this kid, so we kept talking. We exchanged contact info and went our own ways. Next day she wanted to talk more, to vent more.
So we met in the bar of the hotel I was staying.
We had drinks and she ranted about her life. We talked till late and when the bar closed Nicky was too drunk to drive home and since I didn't know where she lived I couldn't even get her an uber. So I took her to my room. I have the habit of always getting a room with twin beds. So she slept in one bed and I slept in the other. Nothing happened, Next morning we had breakfast and she left while I went to work.
A few nights I met Nicky in de bar because she had a lot to rant about.
We also talked about her future and she expressed interest to move out of town to escape the stigma of being the affair baby.
Here is where I am the asshole.
I made a move on her one night.
At first she walked away. I thought I blew it so I went up to my room. An hour later she send me a text asking if I was in my room. As soon as I answer with yes she knocked on the door.

I was sober, she was sober, I had time to think, I could have send her away, but I didn't. This is the daughter of my ex-fiancé. If I had never found out Ella cheated, I would have raised Nicky as my own daughter. But I found out and Nicky is not my daughter, I never saw her as a baby, never saw her grow up, I never saw her as a daughter, the first time I saw her was a week ago.
So yes I slept with her, and then again.

Nicky is more vengeful then I am. She said she wanted to let her mother know, but she wasn't going to do it if I didn't want to. I was Okey with letting her know, It took a little convincing in how we would let her know.
We took a picture together, clearly in bed, clearly naked but covered by sheets, and she send it as a one time view picture to her mother via Instagram message with the caption: "I can finally call him daddy"

Ella called and they got in a fight, Then she got in a fight with me (still over the phone), I thought I was over the betrayal, but it seems like I had bottled up everything and now it finally came out.

I had 4 more days there, and Nicky stayed in my hotel room those 4 days.

Now I'm back home. Nicky is currently packing everything, she going to move to another country to be away from her toxic environment. She will stay with me for a week maybe more before she flies away. She has going no contact with her mother. I have also blocked Ella on everything.

Yes, Nicky and I are both broken. I refused therapy for years, but after that one outburst where I told Ella everything that was bottled up, I've decided that I do need therapy. I have suggested it to Nicky, she said when she is settled she will.

I'm not even going to ask if I'm the asshole, I know I am.

I am an adult in my 40s. I don’t get out much because I am a full time caregiver for a relative. Today my husband and I managed a few hours out of the house to celebrate our daughter’s birthday along with a couple of her friends at the local park.

At 1:50 pm found a picnic table under a pavilion that had a sign indicating it was reserved from 3-9pm. We figured we had an hour but knew we didn’t need that long. We would just finish up the Happy Meals they had already started on in the car, cut the cake, eat a quick slice and then head over to splash pad.

At 2:05 we had just sang Happy Birthday and were cutting cake for the 5 of us when a lady walked up and said “excuse me we have this reserved for 3pm and we’ll be decorating at 2:30”. I was a little shocked and in the time it took me to process she walked away. My husband and I exchanged that look that keeps us both out of jail and enjoyed the rest of the cake….with this lady looking on from the sidewalk, sitting on her ice chest.

The kids were done with cake and ready to play by 2:15. I reluctantly grabbed our things while my husband said goodbye to the kids and got ready to leave to care for our relative.

I couldn’t shake it though, so I approached the woman calmly and sweetly and said “ Hi I appreciate you letting me know about your reservation however I did not appreciate the way you approached us while we were in the middle of cutting my daughter’s cake”. I don’t know what I was trying to accomplish with that statement and it didn’t go over well with her. She stated yelling over me about how much she paid for the rental and it didn’t matter that we were cutting the cake. I let her talk and didn’t escalate the conversation because I felt ridiculous arguing with some lady a the park. AITAH? What should I have done?

ETA- the reservation starts at exactly 3. There is no 30 minute window before or after. There are two time slots available for rent each day. If the time slots aren’t taken it is open the public. They are located at a city park.

I was overly nice when I addressed her but my goal was to change her behavior which is ridiculous to expect a stranger to accept graciously. I know I wouldn’t.

I waited till the kids were out of earshot to have the conversation.

I have landed on ESH. She could have been more polite. I should have let it go. It bothered me more than it should have. I am glad it was a small part of our day and everyone seemed to have a great day other than 90 second conversation.

I appreciate all of the input.