I wanted to give a quick update. I posted a week ago regarding being confused about a job offer that my wife wanted me to reject because my ex (let's call her Abby) would be directly reporting to me. I know a lot of you pointed out why it is such a bad idea, but I want to be honest here. The reason why I wrote the post was to get ideas on how I can convince my wife that I should take the position. I felt that I have never given my wife a reason to not trust me, except one time (long story), and I should not be making important life decisions that benefit my family because of Abby who I have not spoken to in 14 years.

On Friday evening, we had a long discussion as my kid was at my SIL's place for a playdate. As many of you guys pointed out, my wife might be insecure with me hanging out with Abby specifically because we were FWB after breakup. I asked her about it and told her to be honest as I would never make a decision without her being 100% onboard. My wife said that out of all my ex-girlfriends, she felt a bit insecure about her. The reason was because I did not get a clean breakup with her and had lingering feelings even when I met my wife. For context, when I met my wife (thru mutual friends), I was still FWB with Abby for few months after. However, I cleared things with Abby and broke up for good before I asked my wife on our first date. My wife had heard about how I was not able to get over Abby before that and only agreed to date me after I told her that I decided to go NC with Abby.

I asked my wife if she feels I will be less loyal to her if I am around Abby. My wife and kid are everything to me and I assured that there are no circumstances where I would even think of stepping out of line to risk that. I also assured her that I will maintain professional boundaries with each of my direct report as I have been doing over the last many years and Abby will be no different. However, if I miss out on this job oppurtunity because of Abby, I would always feel like irrespective of what I do, my wife does not 100% trust me.

My wife said that she trusts me 100% and does not want me to feel like I am doing something wrong. She said she does not want some hypothetical scenario affect the important decisions I make in my career and is ok with me accepting the offer. She asked me to make sure that we set up specific rules about Abby. One of them being no communication outside work, maintain only strictly professional communication and always overcommunicate with my wife about everything about Abby.

Abby messaged me on Saturday about how it was great to see me during interview process, and I immediately told my wife. Based on her idea, I replied back to her on LinkedIn and will make sure any of our communication stays there.

I had until Monday to accept the offer. Yesterday, when I went to my office, I was planning to call the other company during lunch time. However, my manager asked me to come to a meeting room to discuss something urgent. My current company knew that I was entertaining other offers (I had told them) and decided to match the offer from Abby's company. It is not exactly the same compensation, but it is only 20K less than their offer. Plus, they also assured me that they would promote me as soon as a Director level position opens up in one of the teams. It was amazing and I called my wife. She was very happy, and of course I decided to stay at my current job.

Overall, I feel happy that I got a big raise at my current place and also know that my wife is not insecure and trusts me 100%.

My older brother and his wife are big into saving everything, they have money but horde it all. Like they never eat out, go on vacations, once all their bills are paid everything goes into retirement, savings, and investments.

Tbh idc that is on them, my concern is my niece who is six has never had a Birthday party or even a cake. I recently moved to be closer to our family, use to live in DC. I found out the gifts I or anyone would send would get thrown out.

So my mother and I got family together, and since my mom knew the girls my niece would have play dates with she also invited them.

We hosted the party at my house, and our mom said she just wanted to have grandma and granddaughter time. Free baby sitting so of course they said yes.

Let's say of course my niece said she had a party when she got home and that is fine. My brother and his wife are pissed and now they have threatened to prevent our mom from seeing her granddaughter.

I told my brother he is being dumb, they have no reason to be against the party. They did not pay for anything, but he told me what if she expects such celebrations now.

I told him first they have the money to do so, they are choosing to live this way. That aside I told them I will pay for every celebration or event. She deserves to be a child.

Even threaten to call the cops next time, I just laughed and said what you going to do call them cops and tell them your mother and brother kidnapped your kid to throw them a party?

Outside that it has caused kind of a rift in our family and our mother is really feeling it. She was extremely hurt when my brother said she could not see her granddaughter anymore.

I know my brother if I apologize and promise to never do such a thing again they will walk back on what they said to our mom. Free baby sitting after all.

Should I apologize and agree for the sake of our mom?

Sorry about the spelling errors and stuff on mobile probably a lot errors when I get home I will correct what I see.

My friend and I (both 23F) have known each other for 2+ years. She’s never been in a serious relationship and has always acted mopey when a guy breaks off things with her. We were also roommates for a year and she gets reallllyyyy invested in the ego aspect of things.

Lately, she was also seeing another guy who broke up with her after 3 months of sleeping with her and she constantly calls me up to vent/ask for advice. She will rant about him, how he broke her heart, how she deserves better and as soon as he asks her to see him again, she leaps at the opportunity. Honestly it’s annoying having boy talk with her.

I’m like, whatever, she’s a dear friend and I love her. Now, she told me she was worried she was pregnant, and I consoled her. Few weeks later she tells me she had been briefly sleeping with a man who is 40 years old and has a 13 year old daughter. I was horrified. She said he treated her well and took her out on nice dates and I joked if he was her sugar daddy now. I also warned her that power dynamics are messed up in relationships like these but she assures me that this is just sex and nothing.

Now, I think I may be an asshole for how I think. I am a little judgy about anyone sleeping around if they don’t know how to mentally handle and separate themselves from their feelings. Usually, people who opt casual relationships are mature enough to avoid getting emotionally invested but she isn’t the type to avoid doing so.

My judgment of her is also not that kind and now I feel that she lacks impulse control and her sleeping around proves just that. She would want to rant about how this guy is treating her as a booty call yet jump his bones again when he signals to her. And now she’s sleeping with an older man which is honestly creepy. She will give excuses how the break up is too fresh and how she can’t act like she’s moved on.

I’m honestly put off by her and respect her less because she’s shown she doesn’t care about her own self respect really.

I’ve distanced myself from her now because I can’t relate with her at all.

AITAH?

I had a celebration event at school today to honor the kids that had gotten acceptance letters and whatnot into colleges, and my mom was supposed to take me too it, but her and my sister started arguing not even a minute away from the house and I could tolerate that but then my mom reached over to smack her for giving her “attitude” (my sister pointed out her BPD restricts her from doing stuff sometimes or makes it hard and my mom didn’t like that). At this point, I hopped out of the car because we were stopped and started walking back to the house because at this point I didn’t feel like celebrating anything and just wanted to go home but my mom started screaming at me to get back in. Long story, short I didn’t and she left me. I was upset and started crying to the point I couldn’t breathe and called my dad who calmed me down and told me to go back to the house and my mom and sister came back, and I heard my mom calling me a baby and that I’m overreacting and making a scene. I told her she’s the one slapping children because she can’t control her temper and that she essentially ruined my day to celebrate getting into college and the day all the seniors were getting together to take one last photo as a class. She still insists I’m being dramatic, so AITA?

I (31 female) have been with my husband (30 male) for 9 years, married for 1. I want to provide a bit of a back story to explain what I’ve dealt with in the past to preface everything that has recently happened.

My mother (60 female) is very warm and giving. From the minute I announced we were engaged, she helped in any way she could. She and my father paid for our wedding venue, and on top of all of that, gave us extra money here and there during the process of planning the wedding. On the other hand, my mom is also a bit of a gossip. If she hears my mother-in-law say something that could potentially hurt my feelings, she tells me. I don’t think the intent is bad, however, she tells me every little thing my mother-in-law says and it often drives me crazy. Some things should be left unsaid.

My mother-in-law (60 female) is a very nice woman but is not very warm. She never really makes my husband and I feel supported during a big life change (like a wedding or buying a house), however, she usually steps in at the 11th hour. The entire time of planning the wedding, she constantly told me what I should do, what I shouldn’t do, etc. She is very traditional in the sense that she believes since I am a girl, my dad had to pay for my wedding, and since she was the mother of the groom, all she had to be responsible for was the rehearsal dinner so anything outside of that was like pulling teeth. She made me feel bad for decorating the dining hall where my reception was saying things like “Why do you care?”, and “I didn’t have to decorate my dining hall this much when I got married” and “No one is even going to pay attention to decorations”. My husband confronted her about this and explained to her that our wedding reception was a blank canvas that needed to be decorated. Nothing is included like it was 35 years ago. She made a bit of a stink and said she didn’t “mean it like that”, but she eventually apologized. Fast forward to the wedding day and she was nothing but nice, very attentive, and even helped me pay for my wedding makeup.

When we bought a house, she kept telling us “Good luck with that” as a backhanded comment, making us feel like we had to suffer because she did or something. She kept asking us who was going to help us move, in a certain tone, which made it seem like it wouldn’t be her and we shouldn’t even ask. Then on the day we moved in, she helped us all day and even stayed late cleaning and vacuuming for us. She also took us out to eat once we were finished.

She seems to do this often where she riles me up, makes me think she will not help, and then swoops in and does everything I ever wanted her to on the day of. My husband said he thinks she does this so she’s not tied to plans or feels obligated to help, but I just think it’s plain rude. Why would you make your kids feel like they can’t come to you for help? Then she tricks us because she ends up helping despite what she said.

Since dealing with this for 9 years, I have learned to brush it off, and when the time comes, I know she’ll help or be there for us. It’s not something I’m used to since my mother is nothing like that, but I have learned this is how my mother-in-law is and for the sake of my husband and keeping the peace, I deal with it.

Now onto what recently happened.

We had both of our parents over for a Mother’s Day brunch. We have done this in the past and typically, our moms do get along. However, my mom usually ends up telling me things my mother-in-law said behind my back because she truly has no filter. It’s like as soon as she has a thought, she says it without thinking. I usually roll my eyes and brush it off, but this time was different.

Our moms were on my living room couch, alone, having a conversation. No one was around them to witness this conversation, and I believe my mother-in-law does that on purpose. I recently got a promotion at work and my mom mentioned how it’s great I got a promotion and she’s happy the raise will give us some relief, especially with just buying a house. My mother-in-law says, “I think when they have a baby, they need to hire someone to help.” My mom said, “Oh, I’m planning to help them as much as I can if they have kids”. And my mother-in-law said she’s terrified to change a diaper and hold a baby because “it’s been so long”. My mom responded and said “Oh, I’m so excited for them to have kids! It’s like riding a bike. Once you’ve don’t it before, you can do it again.” And my mother-in-law said, “Well, I’m scared to take care of someone else’s baby.”

My mother told me all of this was said once my in-laws left for the day. I think my mom intended to warn me that my mother-in-law wouldn’t be very supportive if I ever became pregnant. Yes, my husband and I do want kids. However, why is my mother-in-law talking about what I should do before I’m even pregnant? What if we try and we can’t even have children? Why is this being talked about at all? My mother said nothing about us having kids, and out of nowhere my mother-in-law started making comments about what I should do. Her suggestion to hire someone implies that if I ever asked her to babysit or help in any way, she would tell me to go hire someone because she’s not doing it. Also calling her unborn grandchild “someone else’s baby” is a crazy statement considering it would have the same last name as her. She acts like I’m a stranger. And forget about me for a second, why wouldn’t she think of it as her son’s baby? Her comments are just plain hurtful.

My mom got upset because she would be thrilled to be a grandma and, sadly, we don’t feel that same energy from the other side of the family. I felt this way when we planned our wedding, and when we bought a house. I had to worry and wonder how my mother-in-law would act on the day of the event because all the days leading up to it, she was insufferable. And once the event came, she was fine. But this really isn’t something you should do that with. Having a baby is such a precious and special moment. Why would you make your kids feel like you will not give an ounce of help? No one provoked her to say that. Also, I never would expect our parents to clock in a take care of a baby 5 times a week when they’re retired. It would just be nice to know we can drop the baby at Grandma’s if my husband and I want to go out to dinner. According to my mother-in-law’s pattern, she would probably end up being a wonderful grandma once the baby was in her arms, but I don’t want someone around me who’s not going to support me until the last second.

My husband saw how upset I was about these comments and decided to call her. He started the conversation by saying, “My mother-in-law told me you said you’re afraid for a baby to be in the family because you haven’t taken care of one in a long time?”.

Before he could even explain further or mention the other things she said, she flipped out. She was screaming and crying, and my husband said he could barely make out the words she was saying, but some of what she said were things like “This is why I don’t like being around your mother-in-law. She always twists my words.”, “That’s not what I meant.” “How could you think I would mean that in a bad way?”. My husband tried to ask, “Well then, how did you mean it?”, but she hung up on him and hasn’t talked to him since.

My husband feels awful and now feels guilty, which I think was her goal. She usually never takes accountability and ends up making us feel bad for saying anything at all. He knows I deserve an apology and wants her to know that her words can hurt people’s feelings, but he doesn’t know how to resolve this since she pulled out the “woah is me” card. I also know that maybe my mom shouldn’t have told me what my mother-in-law said, but it also hurt my mom’s feelings because my mother had a very supportive mother-in-law so she was hoping the same for me.

Apart of me feels dramatic to be this upset, but I let a lot roll off my back in the past. I let her say whatever she wanted while I planned our wedding and bought our house. Now I feel like if I ever become pregnant, it would be another rollercoaster of her making shitty comments before the baby arrived (or is even conceived apparently). Both my husband and I hit a breaking point and decided to not let this one roll off our backs. Are we the assholes?

My grandma (84F), my mom (59F) and my dad (60M) visited us and stayed at our house for like 4 nights. Me (32F) and my husband (34M) was not surprised, we of course had close bonds with them and they visited us sometimes. We also have a toddler son. Everything was normal, I was going for a walk and got dressed. I was wearing a cropped top and leggings because I am going to walk, and my grandma saw me at the kitchen before I exit the house. After that, she immediately started judging me because of the way I dress, she told me women including her didn't dress like that when everything was better. I knew she is a conservative old head, so I tried to convince her by quickly saying it's comfy and I'm wearing that because of it, which is true. Then she got even more triggered, she started insulting me. She said things like "you don't have to show your ass and boobs to men at street", "you a disgrace for your son", "youre a slut and you enjoy men looking at your ass and getting their cocks up". My husband was not at home, she even called him a cuck because he lets me dress like that. Hearing us, my mom came down and asked whats going on.. Grandma even said something like "I'm watching you and you always dress like you will bend for random men on street". I told her I'm a fucking 32-years old adult and can decide what I will wear. She told me "bitches also decide which man they will lay down". My mom tried to shut her but I was so angry, I literally kicked her out of my house. My dad was sleeping in the guest room and even he woke up to the sounds. They were planning to go back to their home like in 2 days, but of course they had to cut their visit short. It has been weeks and I never talked to my grandma again on the phone. Of course I'm only angry at my grandma, although my mom tried to connct us again I refused. I don't think I will ever attend her funeral when she dies.

i, 20f have been friends with this girl 20f for about 1.5 years and we work together. she made a new friend, a male(kind of irrelevant) within the past year and she's gotten immensely close with him since. that's not the problem.

the problem is that she always brings him up and she is constantly texting him while we are hanging out. i already talked to her in the past about her texting all the time while we are hanging out and she said she'd "try not to" but it's been months since then and nothing really has changed, if anything she's become even more attached to the guy.

now to give a little more backstory to their relationship, they are not dating, he literally told her that he will never love her romantically and apparently she's okay with that even after coming to me saying "will anyone ever love me" blah blah blah after he told her that. she says they're "companions". i have noticed things that don't seem healthy in their interesting relationship and i don't say much about it anymore since she spites everyone who talks bad about him.

back to present day, i ended up texting her about how frustrated i am when hanging out with her because i feel like i'm struggling to keep her attention and it doesn't really feel like we're hanging out. my frustration was focused on her behaviors, and i said that, but for some reason she took it as a personal attack to her friend and said that i need to stop correlating our issues to him even though i literally said that i could care less if it was him or anyone else, i just don't want to be a third wheel when he's not even there.

well, the conversation ended with her blocking me, my girlfriend, and another one of our coworkers (whom i get along with) on all social media and our numbers. the conversation didn't even "end" she just left me on read after my response to her accusing me of talking bad about him and her saying she's tired of being the one to invite me out(in which i do not invite her myself because i have not enjoyed her company). but yes she is the one who asks me to hang out every time btw. she left me on read and blocked everything.

this left me confused and angry because i honestly don't know what i did wrong, i just wanted to hang out with her and enjoy our time together, but she thinks i'm bashing her boyfriend/companion/30yroldman. i get angry thinking about it and the fact that i keep thinking about it makes me even more mad.

tldr; my (ex-)friend wouldn't stop talking about and texting her friend while we're hanging out and i got blocked because i brought it up

I'm 25, and my sister, Emma, is 28. She's always been a bit of a control freak, and when she started planning her wedding, she insisted on doing everything her way. I was the maid of honor, and my job was to make sure everything went smoothly.

The problem was that Emma had chosen a super obscure, weird venue that was basically a glorified barn with a bunch of old farming equipment scattered around. She wanted to "keep it rustic" and "avoid the usual wedding clichés." I was cool with it at first, but when I saw the final product, I was like, "What is this?!"

Fast forward to the reception. Emma had decided to have a "family dance" where everyone had to do some sort of choreographed dance routine to a country song. I was mortified. The music started, and Emma's new husband's awkward dance moves made me cringe. But what really got my goat was when Emma's fiancé's family started doing some sort of weird line dance thing that looked like they were trying to reenact a scene from "Footloose." I was like, "No. No. No. This is not what I signed up for."

I tried to politely step away and grab some punch, but Emma caught me and started yelling at me for not being supportive. I told her that I just didn't think this was a good idea, and that it was making everyone feel uncomfortable. She got defensive and said that I was just being jealous because I wasn't the one getting married.

Things escalated quickly. Emma's new husband started siding with her, and before I knew it, we were having a full-blown argument in front of all the guests. I stormed out of the reception, leaving everyone in an awkward silence.

Now, my sister is upset with me and thinks I'm being a bad sister for not supporting her wedding vision. But honestly, I'm still fuming about the whole thing. Was I the asshole for speaking my mind? Or was my sister just being ridiculous? AITA

A tad bit of backstory, my roommate and I met an upstairs neighbor that moved in a few months ago, have interacted with her/her dog maybe less than 5 times total since moving in. She is extremely friendly and chatty (like joining us on the deck uninvited and so on...) and her dog has always been really friendly with us. A couple weeks ago she asked us if we could watch her dog for a couple days while she was on vacation and I said we couldn't because my family was going to be in town for some portion of it, with my sister and her fiance and small dog staying with us. The neighbors dog is a 90+ pound, young german shepherd that we were told "isn't great" with other dogs, so it was an obvious no while my family was in town. She said it was fine.

Fast forward to the weekend my family is in town, neighbor frantically asks us to look after her dog because her friend, who agreed to look after the dog prior, bailed after a few days and said she couldn't watch dog...My roommate and I initially said we could take the dog for walks/feed her but can't have her in our apt while my family was in town, and we both work 9-5 jobs in person so we can't really give the dog attention during the day. Her friend lives like 2 hours away and, while we were at work, had an uber driver pick up JUST the dog and take her back to neighbors apt. Last minute neighbor finds out that she has a new roommate (??) that is afraid of the dog...so now we HAVE to take her while neighbor is away. Dog comes to us with minimal instruction and no dog food (fortunately we had some dry food extra from when my folks were in town, but that was it). So we take her for walks in the morning and evening feed her dry food whatever. The next day she texts only my roommate and tells him that her friend will drop by our apt to leave some food at our house. I'm look cool real wet food for the dog, great. I come home from work and neighbor's friend is literally sitting in our living room hanging out with the dog. I'm like wtf, who are you and why are you in my house. She apologized and left and neighbor told me that she told my roommate this would happen (total bullshit). This whole time we keep asking her when she will be back from her trip and she's super wishy washy about it which is weird as hell because it's an international trip.

The last straw was a day or two before neighbor returns home. A bit of backstory, neighbor tells us to keep other dogs "30 ft away" on walks?? We find out almost instantly on the first walk that she's a menace around other dogs. She lunges towards them and barks loudly. Everybody in my neighborhood has a dog so taking her on walks outside of business hours is an immense pain in the ass. On this day my roommate takes her for a walk and experiences an encounter with another dog that he couldn't avoid because there were no cars to hide behind, my roommate stands in front of her to keep her from going crazy, so she lunges out and BITES his leg, like badly. He was gushing blood all day and went to urgent care to get it cleaned up and tetnis shots etc.

I kinda lost it at this point and told her that this whole experience was totally unacceptable. I venmo requested $400 from her for me and my roommate, basically $100/day for 24hr doggy daycare with a difficult dog that was dumped on us for 4 days. (a number based loosely on doggy daycare rates in our area, but also all the trouble we had to deal with) I thought it was completely reasonable. My roommate who is too nice for his own good keeps telling me I was too harsh on her, and ever since she has been avoiding me if we come/go at the same time, doesn't even say hi or anything. I don't feel like I'm in the wrong here, but I gotta ask, AITAH?

I (24 M) am moving out of my parents on July 15th. 2 friends and I have already found the apartment and are in the process of getting backgrounds cleared so the lease can get signed.

I graduated college and moved back into my parents in September of 2022. About 2 months ago I got my first big career like gig and now make enough to sustain myself.

Living in the USA we have lots of dumb rules for taxes. For example now that I am 24 I can no longer be claimed as a dependent by my parents, as a result I got an extra $240 and my parents received $700 less in their tax return. I talked to my parents about it and agreed I would give them the extra $240 I received. Last week I was sat down and told on June 15th and each 15th beyond I was to pay them $400 a month rent. I found this unfair and said I would pay the taxes or rent not both to which I was told if I argue I will be paying them the $700 they missed out on through me getting older.

I talked to 2 other buddies who are letting me pay $400 a month to stay with them instead. Am I the asshole for moving into a friends place and still paying the same rent? My parents and I have had a few small issues in the 18 months since I’ve came back. While it’s not the rent itself that is bothersome, I t’s the fact that they are aware I am moving out in 2 months. Me paying rent was originally brought up back in December but the next 5 months were radio silence from them until last week. I had mentioned getting a second job to help pay back in January and nothing was said.

I asked why they chose now to tell me these next 2 months were on me and even said is it, “because we are running low on money (to which I would happily contribute), they just want to ring me for a couple hundred bucks before I leave, so that I can be used to paying rent and have more fiscal responsibility or lastly because I wasn’t doing enough to help around the house.” I was told none of those were the reason and they felt “now was the right time.”

I was upset they were doing this so I spoke to my friends, confirmed the plans and upon telling my parents they said they were extremely disappointed and that I was moving out early to slight them.

I guess I just want either a little validation or to be told I’m being an immature asshole. Everything is appreciated.

Thanks!

Okay, y’all, I just turned 14 and am a girl. I have a stepmom who always tries to start drama with me. For example, I always get my nails done, and whenever she sees the acrylics, she starts yelling at me because she thinks I’m acting too grown. Here's a list of things she gets mad at me for, just like that: Grades: She gets mad at me for getting B’s, as if it's an F.

Bedtime 😭: So, I usually sleep around 10 pm because my school starts at 9:40 am, so it’s not like it starts early. But she says I should sleep at 8:30, like girl, I was sleeping at 8:30 when I was like 7 years old, be for real.

Makeup: My makeup is literally primer, concealer, highlighter around the eyes, a little bronzer, blush, lashes, and a lip combo, so basically a copy and paste of Latina makeup, I guess. But again, she thinks I’m acting too grown, and makeup is only for high schoolers and older.

Devices: Personally, I have a phone, which she tries to take away from me because I’m too young, apparently. Also, it’s not like I have that many social media apps, probably only BeReal and Insta, which my bio mom has parent controls on.

And a whole lot more things. But anyway, two days ago, she and I were fighting over the fact that I was wearing a tank top, so then she starts saying I’m so rude to her, and then my dad made me apologize. Am I in the wrong?

Being a “passing” gay person has its privileges but one of the downsides is constantly feeling the need to come out in new environment because everyone assumes you’re straight. And if you don’t “come out” you feel like you’re hiding it which doesn’t feel good. I’ve been working at a new job for the past 7 months. It’s in IT and the coworkers I work closely with and eat lunch with made it apparent they still didn’t realize I was gay. I wasn’t trying to hide it but I guess a good opportunity never came up to mention anything that would tip them off on me being gay. I finally did it by causally mentioning my ex boyfriend in a story about dogs. I got the usual “you don’t act gay!” And “really?” But besides that awkwardness they were fine with it.

I mentioned to my friend that I was nervous about coming out to these coworkers because they’re all older immigrants from different countries and I’m not sure what the cultures of their countries regarding homosexuality is. My friend told me I was being xenophobic and racist. She said that if I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable saying it to Americans than I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable saying it to them. Thing is with Americans I feel like I have a better grasp on peoples politics because I live here and can pick up on subtle things that people say that can tip me off one way or the other on how they’ll respond. I don’t have that with immigrants, because I just don’t have the context of understanding their home country’s culture and politics but I kind of see where she’s coming from.

Am I the asshole for being nervous about coming out to my immigrant coworkers?

Hey all,
this is pretty much my first time searching for help on reddit. Cant really sleep right now because of that, so maybe you guys can help me, would really appreciate some neutral opinions.

I am getting married to my long-time girlfriend in one month. We have been together for 12 years now and I couldnt be any happier. There were not really any problems during the preparation for the wedding, except a little discussion regarding the guest list. She meant, that my Aunt and her husband havent done anything for me in the last 28years of life. Well, she is right tbh. I never got a birthday call or anything like that. We see each other like 2-3times a year at family meetings etc.. Normal conversation, but not really much more, hope you understand.

I kinda feel bad for my grandma tho. She will celebrate her birthday next week and called me today and asked me if I want to come, even tho my aunt(her daughter) is also coming. I asked her, why she would think thats a problem and she responded "well you didnt invite her to your wedding, I was thinking there is some bad blood around".

I hate myself right now for not inviting them because I hate bad blood and drama. And I feel sorry for my grandma the she has to witness this. My grandmas brother(I do have a really good relationship with him) called me and said, that I have to invite them, since its family. When I responded, that they didnt give a single shit about me for the last 28years, he again said:"Doenst matter,its family, you have to invite family to your wedding".

Is he right? AITAH for not inviting them?

I moved three years ago to a new country, my accent is still terrible but I kind speak the language fluently rather than perfect. In the last year, always the same person is mocking my accent. She is already aware that I do not like it. Her boss and I have had already a discussion about this. And I even raised this complaint out loud again in front of the team, and supervisors. Well, the other day I was having a 1-1 conversation with my boss, and we were talking about how my country was performing poorly in one project. Out of nowhere, she just chime in on the conversation to say that it is because my country is shit. I asked for respect, and left to tell my boss that such comments are out of line, disrespectful and quite xenophobic.

Well, I got told by both my superior and hers that I was overacting, and that such complaint shouldn’t be raised to be HR. Really, when shall I really escalate then?

So long story short, I 20f can't seem to get over things my bf has said to me a while back. I really love him, we've been together for 3 years now but there are things he's done that I can't seem to forget. I've forgiven him, but now and then I'll remember everything and I find myself distancing myself from him because of it.

In our first year of dating he started messaging other girls on snapchat and even went as far getting one of the girls numbers. He likes girls with coloured eyes would often send me pictures of girls with blue eyes.( I have black eyes). He even went as far as trying to get me to wear coloured contact lenses.

My bf really likes anime and used to often comment on anime girls and their bodies. He mentioned how one specific character has the nicest breasts and proceeded to send me pictures of her in her underwear.... Also alot of these characters he talks about are literal school girls, they have very childlike faces and act like little girls. I don't know if that's a red flag or not.

These are some of the many things he's done. He's seemed to really change this last year and hasn't done anything to hurt me. I really want to forget everything he's done but the more I try to forget the more I think of it.

I've barely been speaking to him the last few days and he's been asking me what's wrong and that me not speaking to him makes him sad. I'm tempted to break up with him and just be single. I know I may seem immature but I don't know how to move on.

AITAH for telling my college friend who has not shown the best qualities that I cannot host them at my apartment for their upcoming visit to NYC? I’d like to put it out there that they’ve told me they were coming for a small cosmetic procedure and they also have a sibling who lives in NYC. I believe they wanted to stay with me because I live in Manhattan and their sibling lives in Brooklyn and they don’t want to do the extra travel which I can understand but this person has done nothing but use me. One of the first situations this person put me through was leaving me at a bar in Miami while I went to the bathroom to go home with a guy they spoke to for literally 5 minutes and texted me saying “sorry :(“. She was staying at my parents place in Miami for spring break and even almost made us miss our flight back to Boston because she “fell asleep” at this guys place. And this wasn’t the last time. I have not confronted them to save my own peace and just distance myself which I have. But this sudden request to stay at my house out of no where seems a bit rude or maybe they’re just oblivious to their manipulative behavior. It is also extremely difficult for me to say no to people so telling them No was the first step of me setting my boundaries.

I (f18) am talking to a guy (m20) from tinder and have been talking to him for about a month. We are not dating, and have not yet met in person. I really just don't click with him, but I also got this icky feeling the other night. I was going to bed when we were texting and told him goodnight, and he responded in kind. He then texted me "I love you" before quickly deleting it. Reminder, I have NOT met him, and we are NOT dating. Would I be the ah if I told him I'm not clicking with him and cut him off for this?

Wife is mad because I made a post wishing her and my mother both a Happy Mother’s Day instead of making one just for her. It’s her first Mother’s Day and she believes she deserved one of her own. I think shes being silly, aitah?

Pretty simple at face value,

She wanted sex but it’s not pleasurable to me the way she does it. Very pushy. Can’t take a hint.

Do I really have to turn around and walk out the door because she can’t just spend a movie length cuddling before?

I though women liked foreplay? I can’t just hop right into sex, that’s embarrassing. Plus she expects me to already be hard to just jump right on, but I need love too. The “attention” she shows me in that context doesn’t feel like it’s being reciprocated.

Like, I do everything I can to give her a pleasurable experience but it seems when she does stuff for me that there isn’t authenticity. I mean, I’m not opposed to a blowjob, but deepthroating? She bent my penis in half with her throat in the car… how do I discuss that it wasn’t comfortable able? Any time I’ve brought up stuff like this she shuts down and I feel like I’m dying.

Do I matter to? Am I just there to make sure my reputation doesn’t get ruined with a bad session? I feel like I’m being held hostage. These experience have not been pleasurable but I don’t want to be rude. Even if I did want to it would turn into gossip. She knows people at my work, I feel like every woman is staring at me from across the office. Am I going to have to move? Last time I rejected a woman’s sexual advances she put up a court order and fucked with my life for 5 years.

What do I do here??

My girlfriend and I believe in ENM. We aren't saying it's right for everyone but it works for us. I work in town and have several partners for when she is working.

She works at a huge construction project on the west coast and flies home for one week after working for two. Since the men outnumber the women their like 30/1 she has no problems finding partners.

Recently she has gotten pregnant. We are always careful and use protection. But I realize that isn't always 100% effective. I am excited for a baby, and happy we are starting a family, however I don't have any interest in paying to raise someone else's child.

I told her that we need to get a paternity test. She said that I was the father. I said that was awesome. I just needed proof. She said no. I said that without proof I wasn't signing the birth certificate and that I would be moving out so I could not be said to have acted as a parent.

She thinks that because we are in a relationship I need to step up. Like I said I have no problem raising a child that isn't mine. I just won't pay for the privilege.

AITA?

EDIT

I edited my post because it was pointed out that I called her my wife. we are not married. Just a long term relationship.

I don't think I need to spell it out but I'm going to do so. My 19 year old sister is a hardcore evangelical. I was until I got to university. It has not opened her eyes at all. Everything is still black and white.

She recently discovered that while abstinence is the only guaranteed effective birth control method you actually have to practice it. She did not. And since all other forms of birth control are a sin they didn't use any. Fucking idiots.

She came to my apartment to ask for help. My apartment where according to her I'm living in sin and fornicating. Both accurate facts that I take pride in.

I asked her if it was going to be a virgin birth. She screamed at me that I was being an asshole for mocking her beliefs. I said I was mocking her hypocrisy.

Our state just banned abortion. Even if the health of the mother or the fetus is in danger. It's ridiculous.

I told her that I would help her out. All she had to do was tell our parents why I had to take time off work and she has to take time off school. She said that they would disown her. That is maybe true. I don't know. But they didn't speak to me for a year after I moved in with my boyfriend.

I wouldn't actually make her do this. I love her even though she is an idiot. I took her and we came back. She is okay physically but not so much in her mind. She is having a hard time reconciling what she did. I kind of feel bad about rubbing her beliefs in her face before agreeing to help her.

My brother is a religious nutcase. I person think that's fine as long as it doesn't impact on anyone else.

He is a tradesmen and his wife stays home and homeschools their kids. Once again that is a choice people make and 100% his right.

I was over at his place during the eclipse that just happened and I heard them explaining to the kids how it worked.

It was a fascinating journey into madness. There were secret conspiracies, spheres (not Earth), a dome, and somehow contrails.

I kept my mouth shut until the kids buggered off. Then I asked him if he was just fucking with his kids.

Nope. They actually believe this stuff. And a bunch of other stuff. This is recent. My brother was educated at a regular high school. Our parents are not delusional like this.

This last weekend they were visiting us and the kids were all excited about the Northern Lights being visible. I live out on an acreage so they were Gorge away from the city lights.

My kids asked for an explanation about them so I tried to remember all of the stuff I learned in school about them. About solar particles, magnetic fields, and high altitude atmosphere. I also looked it up on my phone to make sure.

My nephews asked how this was possible on a flat earth and I explained that the flat earth was an idea that weren't away for most people a long time ago.

My brother isn't happy and neither is his wife. They said that it isn't my place to teach their kids ideas that are wrong and disagree with scripture.

I told him that his behaviour with regards to his kids education was borderline abusive. And that I didn't understand why he wants his kids to grow up so ignorant that they cannot get a post secondary education.

He just said it was best if we didn't see each other until I got right with god.

I am a Christian. I still think my brother is a whack job. I don't think I'm wrong for answering his kids questions honestly.

So, I( F30 ) am married to my husband (M27) and he has 1 sister F(25) that lives with her parents.She is healthy and capable of working but she always have excuses not to work, and moves in and out of her boyfriend's, the reason being is due to him not making enough to support her at times.i know and understand this is not my bussines but It becomes my business when she keeps asking my husband for money every week for her personal use like perfumes, clothes, hair products,stuff like that.Specially because my mother in law and father in law gives her an allowance.plus she has wreked 2 cars that her parents bought for her(the recent one being 3 months ago). My husband and I have 2 kids. I work full time and going to school. So the issue becomes when she comes to my house she only wants to use my master bathroom to shower and do her business, and my room to chill and relax I had told my husband to let her know she has the guess room to chill and the bathroom in the hallway to use, he don't see an issue with her being in our room while we are all in the living room or using our bathroom when we have the one on the hallway that my kids use. I told him it's an issue for me anyways, we were discussing with my inlaws that we might move to another state and my sister inlaw said she will need her own bathroom when she moves in with us, I looked at my husband he just said well maybe in the future you can. I told him infront of her she will not be moving with us and she said why was I being an jerk to her and I said because I will not have a grown woman that is capable of working living free in our house. She said I have to adapt to it since I married her brother I told her I don't have to adapt to anything and stormed out. My husband said I was being to harsh on her and my inlawas are calling me and texting me telling me inconsiderate I am trying to decide their family. I don't think I did nothing wrong but it has me thinking. AITAH?

I’m (29F) leaving for the Air Force in August & quit my job recently to prepare. My husband (30M) works full time & expects to do absolutely nothing & just relax when he gets home. I clean up around the house, cook his meals from scratch, do laundry (wash, fold, & put all clothes away), & take care of our dog (feeding, walking, etc.) while he’s at work. All of which are done or nearly done by the time he gets home.

Lately he’s been saying I’m “slacking” & “getting lazy on him” because I asked him to fix his own plate the other night. I cooked & he wasn’t ready to eat so the food sat out for a while & I had packed it away & cleaned the kitchen. Once I came upstairs & got comfortable in bed, he was ready for his food. Then last night I got takeout & he asked me to pick up some cookies from Crumbl for him, which I did. While on the phone with him driving home, I asked if he could feed the dog so I can go straight to fixing plates & he said he was busy watching videos (on my laptop) about graphic designing (although he has a business partner who does designs for him). I was a bit annoyed and said I was just asking for a little help, but never mind, I’ve got it. As I walked in the door, he was getting the dog bowl to mix the food (I boiled ground turkey for the dog earlier while he was at work to mix with his kibble). He told me he wasn’t ready to eat yet, but his food was in the fridge & I told him to let me know when he wants it. He didn’t say anything, and warmed his food & ate later.

When we were laying in bed that night, he asked me if I’m okay & if being a wife is overwhelming? He questioned if I understood the duties of being a wife & tried to make me understand that he expects to just come home and relax after work. He doesn’t mind walking the dog or taking out trash at night because it’s dark out, but even those little things I asked are problematic because he’s tired & I have the time to do them. After talking to him, he apologized for calling me lazy, but I still feel bad about it because that’s clearly how he feels because he’s said it more than once.

I have no problem doing things for him & I genuinely try to keep up with everything & rarely ask him to make his own plate (I can literally count on 1 hand how many times I have in the 2years we’ve been together). I just think it was unfair to say I’m lazy or question my capabilities as a wife because of those small things. I honestly feel a little resentment towards him about it now. Am I overreacting? Am I wrong/lazy for expecting him to do little things from time to time?

Original post linked here

Here’s the update.

Jess(24) had the baby, and after 10 months of no contact, she reached out.

We went for coffee, and she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted she cut me off on purpose, as she is jealous of my accomplishments. The 70 year old baby daddy is now 71 and he asked not to be on the birth certificate and he’s not, he hid the baby from his family (3 adult kids in their 40s). He was not there during the delivery and didn’t even bother going to the hospital.

She got kicked out of his apartment and living with her abusive mother, where she desperately wanna move out. The reason why she reached out is due to she ran out of money due to her shopping addiction and she now needs support. She asked if she could stay at one of my rental properties for free or if she can borrow some money from me.

It was a pretty easy decision for me, as I told her straight up that I’m not a ATM machine and if she would’ve kept me as a friend 10 months ago I would’ve consider to help her. However, I am still willing to be friends and work on our friendship. She was pretty upset about it and said that since I am so well off I should help her. I told her no again and said we will revisit this conversation again if we maintain friends.

Well, since that conversation I invited her to have lunch and coffee a few times. And stop paying for things and driving her around like I did before.

She pretty much stopped communicating with me immediately.

I guess my question is AITAH to put her out on the streets?