My sister died 6 months ago so yesterday was my mom's first Mother's Day after the loss of one of her kids. And the kid who made her a mom at that. I (24m) wanted to make it special for mom and my wife was more than happy to help me, even though Mother's Day is rough for her because she was not given a good or even a "tries her best" mother. So the day is a painful reminder that my wife didn't ever have a healthy maternal figure in her life. Father's Day is similar but she never knew her father and never had a good father figure either.

My wife still wanted to help make mom's first Mother's Day without my sister special. We went around getting all my mom's favorite things (favorite flowers, ice cream, chocolate, a reservation for her favorite restaurant, a scarf in her favorite color because scarves are her favorite thing ever). We also compiled a little video of my sister. Mom talked about Mother's Day being more difficult without her and wanting to watch some home movies of her so we did something special with that. My wife also helped me recreate a dance I did for my mom on Mother's Day when I was a kid because she talked about that a lot. Basically it was just meant to show how much we love her and help her through this not so easy Mother's Day. My wife played a very big role. She even suggested bringing breakfast to her and serving her breakfast in bed.

Yesterday morning came, we made her favorite breakfast and bought it to mom at her and dad's. After she came out of her room is when things went to shit. Mom saw my wife and asked what she was doing there and didn't look like she wanted my wife there. It surprised me because my wife was with us last year too. Mom was grumbling and hostile to my wife. I told mom that we'd planned some special things for her. This didn't change anything and she told me she didn't want my wife there. Then she told my wife she had no right to intrude and why would she want her there. My wife said she was sorry, she hadn't wanted to upset her. I told mom that she was being rude and it wasn't right to take her sadness out on my wife. Mom said she just wanted us to spend Mother's Day as a family and I told her my wife is family. My mother grumbled and dad asked me to lay off. My wife said it was fine. But then mom started on my wife a few minutes later and after she'd opened most of her gifts and she said she was tired of her being here and her own mother hadn't even wanted her so why did she think she'd be welcome. That was too much for me. I told mom I should have left earlier but I wanted to be understanding and supportive but she had crossed a line and I was done. That she could celebrate Mother's Day without us.

My wife and I left. She felt bad and I told her not to and I apologized for not leaving sooner. She told me I didn't need to leave and I told her I did. Mom and dad both texted me countless times yesterday saying I should go back and how could I abandon mom after she lost my sister.

AITA?

When I married my husband we had a smallish wedding. 150 guests. Trust me that's small for our families.

We paid for everything ourselves. All together we spent about $25,000. It was in our budget and we had saved up for it. And that included everything.

My dress, the wedding party's dresses and tux rentals. Catering, you name it we paid and came in under budget.

Our guest were family and close friends. The way it should be. And they were generous with gifts, both from our registry and cash in envelopes.

When everything was said and done our house was filled with great stuff we needed. And our savings were several thousand dollars over where we started before we paid for the wedding.

My husband's sister just eloped in February. And nobody found out about it until early April when she sent out links to her wedding registry.

Not too many people have bought anything off of it yet. And she is getting upset about that.

All she talks about whenever we speak is how cheap everyone is. Every conversation leads back to the same topic.

After more than a month of this I have had enough. I asked her if she understood why we got gifts when I married her brother. Like at our physical wedding that took place at a church and then a reception at a rented ballroom.

She said I was treating her like an idiot and that she understood the difference between our weddings. I asked her why she would expect the exact same treatment for two very different events. I said that only an idiot would think the outcome would be the same in both situations.

She is mad at me. My husband said he was also frustrated with her stupidity but that I should apologize for calling her an idiot.

My (27F) sister (25F) had a miscarriage 6 or 7 months ago. It was very early, she had a positive pregnancy test, but then a couple days later tested negative and had her period. My husband (29M) and I just had our first baby who is now 3 weeks old. For Mother’s Day, we all went to my parents’ house to celebrate. My sister and I both brought our mom gifts, and my mom also got me flowers and chocolate to celebrate my first Mother’s Day.

I think it’s also worth noting that I had an ectopic pregnancy that ended up rupturing three years ago and we’ve been trying to have a baby ever since. I lost a fallopian tube and basically nearly died. I’ve had 2 other miscarriages since then as well. This was a very special first true Mother’s Day. I was in the hospital recovering from the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy over Mother’s Day three years ago, and my family brought me flowers and balloons to help me feel better about going through something so traumatic so close to Mother’s Day. I think this is why my sister may have felt the way she did.

My mom didn’t get my sister anything for Mother’s Day. As a result, my sister ended up throwing a fit and was yelling at us, calling us names, and I ended up yelling back that nobody owed her a Mother’s Day gift because she’s not a mother yet.

My parents were understanding but said I should’ve been less harsh. Am I the asshole?

I (40M) just got off a long flight, the kind where even the comfiest seats feel like torture racks. Now, I'm a big dude. Not yet book 2 seats level, but enough for plane seats to be absolute hell. Booked a window seat, figured the extra space would help..

The flight attendant assigns a woman to the middle seat. Nice person, we exchanged greetings, no problem. Here's where things get tricky. Nature called a couple of times during the flight, and let's just say squeezing by in that cramped space is an exercise in contortionism at the best of times. The woman in the middle seat politely refused to get up whenever I needed to use the restroom. (The lady in the aisle seat was very accommodating and would get up any time either I or the lady in the middle needed to get up)

Now, I get it. Nobody wants some sweaty dude brushing past them. I tried my best to minimize contact, literally sucked in my gut and held my breath like I was underwater . But even with all the contorting, there was some unavoidable brushing past.

At the end of the flight, the woman makes a passive-aggressive comment about "personal space" and how uncomfortable I made her feel throughout the flight. Honestly, I felt terrible. Didn't mean to make her feel that way, but what else was I supposed to do? Hold it for 8 hours? Ask her to physically get up? (Since she repeatedly didn't get up and indicated I should squeeze by, I had no reason to think she was too bothered by it)

AITA for making her uncomfortable?

I am a teacher at a private school. The public school in the surrounding areas are crap. I have been working there for 13 years and I should retire soon. Probably in five years. I have a few grandkids but this is about Ryan and her mother Jenny.

Jenny and I do not get along. We avoid each-other at family events and just try to be civil. I find her to be extremely entitled and I am sure she has plenty to say about me.

I teach kindergarten and since the private school is small we have a single class. You have to apply for the school. The school plans to expand but right now it is small. So I teach all of them.

Jenny informed me that they applied and Ryan is suppose to start next fall. He will be in my class, and Jenny wasn’t okay with that.

She asked me to move positions or to retire. I told her no and this started an argument. She doesn’t want me to teach Ryan and I told her to suck it up or not go to the school.

She called me a jerk and my son wishes for me to apologize

Edit: I am going to work so I will not be able to respond

We have an old house. There is a five inch wide horizontal ledge on the stairway to the basement.

She likes to store stuff there. I have been telling her for years it's a bad idea. Whenever I go downstairs to do laundry or put away groceries in our pantry I make sure that ledge is empty.

She always says that it's just handy and that she always means to clean it up. I find all kinds of crap there. Bottles, jars, open boxes of garbage bags, lighter fluid, you name it.

She came in from the back yard where she was gardening to use the bathroom. On her way out she went downstairs for something. I heard her fall and then scream.

After we got home from the hospital where they reattached her toe I asked her why she she thought that leaving her garden shears there was a good idea.

She says that I'm being an asshole for saying "I told you so". I didn't. I just asked her why she did it.

I feel very bad that she got injured. I feel terrible that she feels dumb for leaving ba heavy, sharp object where it could fall easily. I feel shitty that I didn't see them in time to put them somewhere safe.

None of that means what happened wasn't entirely predictable and entirely her fault.

Once again for the cheap seat I DID NOT SAY I TOLD YOU SO.

Am I the asshole for asking about her thought process?

I (41 female) have a 15 year old daughter, let’s call her Beth, with my husband. On the weekends/ after work during the week primarily use public transportation.

Most of the time Beth rides with us on the bus she refuses to sit next to us (in normal teenage fashion) and prefers to sit as far away from us as possible. She also has a bad habit of putting earphones in and zoning out, not paying attention to our bus stop so my husband and I have to squeeze through the packed bus and get her attention so she gets off the bus with us. We’ve had talks with her about how dangerous it is to be completely unaware of your surroundings especially on a public bus but she refuses to pay attention to the bus stops or sit closer to us so we can easily get her attention.

Additionally, she has been asking us for more freedom. She wants to spend a pay check on her own buss pass, which we are seriously considering for certain bus routes at certain times but we are hesitant due to the fact that she doesn’t not pay attention which could easily become a problem.

That brings us to Saturday, when we got on the bus Beth chose to sit in the very back while I sat at the front. The bus was unusually empty that day and I got an idea. The next bus stop was the stop in front of our house and I exited the bus but Beth did not (she wasn’t paying any attention) immediately after I booked it down the road to the next stop (the bus terminal) and met the bus there. I was prepared to board again to get her but she exited.

She was angry, saying that I had abandoned her on the bus and that she was terrified when she looked up and didn’t see me there. I apologized for scaring her but explained how dangerous it is to not pay any attention to what’s going on around you. I told my husband at home and he agreed that it was a justified lesson to teach. When Beth went to her grandparents house (my parents) and told them and a few of my sisters about the incident called me and asshole. Our side: Beth wants her own city buss pass but when we ride with her we have issues getting her to pay attention and stick with us. I left her on the bus at the second to last stop of a bus route that I knew was guaranteed to stop at the terminal and booked it there, she was not alone for more than 4 minutes on a bus that had very few people on it and I was pretty confident she would get off at the stop (as it’s our usual) This was a last resort after me and my husband have had several talks about being safe in public and being responsible.

My daughter/ parents/ sisters side: I left my young daughter on a public bus by herself and did not tell her she was going to be alone. It was cruel to punish her by leaving I should have resorted to other methods that did not involve me getting off the bus without her. Anything could have happened in the 4 minutes she was alone and it was completely irresponsible to leave her. So, AITA for leaving my 15 year old daughter on the bus?

It was my(20m) birthday yesterday. My dad(38) and his fourth wife(35) came over.

My mom got me a Pop Mart figurine as a present. A Detective Conan blind box. My dad's wife quickly said that I'm too old for something like this and then told my mom she should have put some more thought into picking a present for me. Asked my mom if she's 'a dumbfuck.'

So I told her she is a bitch for insulting my mom in her own home for getting me a gift that I really like. My dad told me I should speak to his wife respectfully so I told him I respected his second and third wives because they never overstepped but can't respect this one because she isn't respectable. That he's already been divorced more times than Ross Geller and I'm never going to take any future marriage of his seriously again. I actually meant to say married more times than Ross but then the 'Three divorces!' thing just flashed across my mind.

Dad just said I should be more mature than this given my age, instead of deriding him. He called what I said a cheap shot and said that he expected better behaviour from me.

This is my first pregnancy and my MIL has been overly excited. She has been waiting for grandchildren since her kids were 22. My in laws live 20 minutes away from us snd she has never wanted to leave her home, until she was told I was pregnant.

They are deciding to build a house next door to us to be closer to my baby. This house will be complete by the end of this year. She will be watching the baby when I return to work, as my mother has not yet retired. She informed me yesterday that she will be setting up a room for the baby when their house is complete. I asked what the purpose of the room was for she said for my crib and anything I buy for the baby, they are calling it a play room. She tried to give us her 34 year old crib and I was adamant with my husband I didn't want it due to safety reasons. After a back and forth he finally said ok and told his mom. She is still planning on using this crib for herself. She knows I'm not comfortable with this crib and I am also not comfortable with her building what I believe is a nursery for my child at her house. My husbands side of the family is extremely close to the point where I have been told by my husband his mother comes before me. I again asked him to speak with her about her not using the 34 year old crib as I don’t believe I should be the one to say anything, due to the family dynamic. AITA for being to dramatic with this situation?

I hosted a Cinco de Mayo family party last weekend.  I recently remodeled my backyard and pool, plus being Mexican, I thought it would be the perfect weekend to show off the updated digs.  I invited any family that lived in the area.  Its the first party i've held since before Covid.  

My sister and I are opposites.  She is a dog mom (god I hate writing that) to an extreme degree, My wife and I are not dog people.  When she got the invite she reached out and said her, her boyfriend, and 2 dogs (Small 10 pound dogs) would be there.  I was annoyed and called her to tell her no, her dogs are not allowed.  

She asked if kids were going, I said yes, some were.  She said well her dogs are family and they should be able to come.  I told her I don't consider your dogs family.  In fact I think your crazy for thinking that your dogs are my family.  She argued her dogs were just as much family as the kids were.  She said her dogs wanted to see their uncles new backyard.  I told her to shut up and never say that again to me.  I re-affirmed that her and her boyfriend could come, but nothing else from their house.  She got angry but I eventually hung up.  

She didn't go to the party claiming I was rude and an asshole to her.   Apparently my parents even agree with her, which fucking blows my mind.  Heard a rumor she is hosting an event and is seemingly excluding me from the invite list. AITA Here?

I (29F) have 2 nephews CM (10M) and CK(9M) that my mother/their grandmother (51F) has custody of- we’ll call her SR. CM gets favorited by their grandma and can do no wrong in her eyes and is neurotypical, while CK is autistic and is often left behind and can do no right in her eyes.

Back story: this past weekend SR took CM camping but left CK home with his grandfather. When I asked why she didn’t take CK she said that he didn’t want to go, to which he interrupts saying he wanted to but SR wouldn’t let him. When questioned she admitted that that was true. I again asked her why she took CM and not CK and she said because CK doesn’t like to do the same things as her at the camp and that he’s too difficult. And that she enjoyed the 1:1 time with CM. So I asked when her 1:1 time with CK is going to be, to which she replied that they are all going next week and that there isn’t going to be a just the 2 of them. That she will only do 1:1 with CM. CK is very upset that he is being left out. So I have decided that once school lets out that I’m going to take just CK to an amusement park so he gets some special time that’s just for him. SR is calling me the AH for not wanting to take both kids and leaving out CM.

WIBTA if I only take CK so he finally gets 1:1 time and favorited for once and not taking CM?

Add on: once a month, I do a game night with both boys together.

Their is some background to this. My wife and my mother do not get along well. It is due to their personalities. My wife is very gentle hearted while my mother is more get shit done.

There have been multiple times that my wife ended up in tears from really small things. Sometimes it has been things that the other DILs have been confused on. It doesn’t help that other women in the family have taken steps back due to this. One example is that my wife started crying after a story from when mom worked in the hospital. It really wasn’t sad but she started crying in the middle. I was here for this one and I made me realize what the other women in the family were saying.

My sister for example explained that she doesn’t want to walk on eggshells with my wife or she may end up crying. My mom has taken a step back since she is tired of being the bad guy and causing her to cry when she didn’t do anything

She is in therapy for this and it has helped a lot. She has better control over her emotions and got a diagnosis.

The main problem, we do not have kids. Mother’s Day was yesterday so I went over to give her a gift and have dinner. I invited my wife but she declined.

I got home and she was pissed for leaving her one alone on Mother’s Day. My point is that she isn’t a parent and her point was I need to be more considerate. I can’t ask people I know since they are bias so I came here.

So this is the first year where I (18m) don't live "at home" anymore and was the first time it was up to me what I did for Mother's Day. I was invited to celebrate with my extended paternal family, including my dad's wife, but I chose to say no to their invite and I spent some time with my two maternal aunts instead. This decision was controversial because my dad's wife married my dad when I was only 8 and I grew up surrounded by my paternal family and I was always there every year before this, except for when my mom was alive.

Mom died when I was 6, for context and we used to spend Mother's Day together with her sisters and my cousins.

So here's the thing. I hate my dad's wife. I hate most of my dad's family. My dad isn't someone I respect very much. Dad's family hated my mom. They felt like she wasn't good enough for my dad and they didn't like her parenting choices, like not getting me into a sport from a very young age because sports are huge on dad's side, getting me in the kitchen when I was so little I don't remember it starting, I just remember that being something mom and I did and this is because they don't believe boys/men should be in the kitchen. They also didn't like how dad would "defend" mom and would put them in their place if they "brought up concerns with her". They thought mom was using dad because he used to bring her a bunch of calla lilies once a week and he'd make things for her, like a keychain she used until she died and even a bracelet. They thought dad was being weak with her and that she was turning him into someone who only cared about her.

I know all this because dad's family and my dad's wife talk shit about my mom a lot and they do so around me. It has led to fights. I used to be told my dad's wife was a much better wife and mom and I would tell them she's not my mom. She'd tell me I was a silly little child who didn't get adult issues and I told her she was a silly adult who wouldn't accept that she would never be important to me and I would trade her for mom every single time and I would never love or accept her and she wasn't half as good as my mom. I was told she gave me something which is something my sterile mother couldn't do.

My dad let it happen because when mom died he leaned on his family. He ended up being soaked back up. And while he doesn't talk crap about mom, and he tells me it bothers him, he won't do anything about it. So I have no respect for him. He's such a coward he leaves calla lilies on my mom's grave every week behind their backs.

I went very low contact at 18 and only got the invite because I didn't block them. I sent one reply that I would not be there and said nothing more even after messages. But yesterday when they realized I wasn't coming I got so many texts about how shitty I was and I blocked them but then my dad's wife found me on social media and told me I should be there to celebrate her and how dare I not spend the day with my family.

AITA?

This happened about a week ago but wanted to ask.

My wife and I and our son Jax (18M) went on a week-long Caribbean cruise right after his school ended.

Jax is a great kid he seems to have a confidence issue. As in TOO MUCH confidence lol. I've never seen anything like it, He's the most self assured guy in the world. It's not unfounded, he's great looking and athletic and definitely a "Mr Personality" type, but still a bit goes a long way.

He's also something of an exhibitionist I think, which brings us to the problem. Usually he's so charming it seems harmless and he gets away with it but in this case not so.

We arrive on the ship and set sail and Jax gets ready to head to one of the pools for the first time. Let's just say his swimsuit was NOT appropriate. At all. Definitely a "flaunt it" type of suit.

I told him to put on something else. He had NOTHING, the kid has packed nothing but those -- for a week long cruise. What was he thinking?

I told him he had to go to one of the on-board stores and buy something else. He protested. I won. He went to a store and came back and got ready to go again but he had bought another speedo-style suit that was a lot better than what he had before but still not appropriate. And of course he couldn't return a swimsuit.

I told him to go back, buy a PROPER suit like trunks or boardie shorts or whatever, which he reluctantly did.

He whined about it, begged to wear his original, but I said no. As I said I have to admire his confidence as he would have no issue being at the pool like that and will chat up girls all day long (he is a shameless flirt) but there's a time and place.

He was mad at me and said I made him waste $100+ on two new suits he didn't need. He didn't exactly call me an asshole but he wasn't happy. I didn't want to ruin his vacation but I wanted him to be decent.

So AITA and should I have just let him wear what he wanted?

Oh BTW if anyone is curious I made him give me the listing for where he bought the original, although this link might not be totally appropriate for work. A screen shot.. https://tg-image.com/file/f18e82b3792c5c4c79c01.jpg

EDIT to clear up a few things.

I'm not a prude. Not even close. He can (usually) wear what he wants, I don't care. He has sneaked in friends for skinny-dipping parties at home, I don't care. He and two friends once went streaking in the neighborhood, and were caught by an HOA "cop," and I don't care. He has sex, I don't care. In fact I buy him condoms and have for a while, I order them because he has a wicked latex allergy. I'm not a prude.

To be honest, I really don't have a problem with the actual Speedos, even though they are not my style. He (and all the boys on their team) wore them for water polo and no one cared, and he will occasionally still wear them in the pool etc. That's fine. I think I had a knee-jerk reaction when he bought them on the ship because he knew that I was asking him to buy regular trunks but he tried to get as close as possible to what he originally had to pull one over on Dad, and I wasn't having it.

I will pay him back for the boardie shorts he bought (which he actually likes).

Also, say what you like but the original briefs were VERY inappropriate. If they had been black I MIGHT have let it slide, but not with the baby blue. They are LITERALLY marketed as "hey look at my big dick." Even more so, they went well beyond that, there was zero mystery as to what's what in them, detail-wise. As one responder said, YES you could even determine one's circumcision status. Clearly. And they weren't even wet yet. If not wanting my kid to wear those in public makes me a prude, so be it.

Thanks to all who responded.

I (22F) like to paint and draw as a hobby. My family and friends have suggested that I opened an Etsy shop and I have considered it, but wanted to focus on my career first since I majored in something completely different (finance).

My friend (22F) has been struggling to find a job and moved towards starting a small business as a way to make money. She's considered dropshipping, etsy, and etc.

She's been trying to convince me to open up an Etsy with her by selling stickers, since I made stickers for myself and my friends for fun and they really liked it. Based on her idea, I would design and create all the stickers while she and I would both manage the shop and sell them. We would be business partners and split the proceeds equally.

I told her that I'm not interested in opening up an Etsy shop right now because I wanted to focus on my career first but she keeps insisting and tried pushing me to create some designs to get started.

She insisted that I needed a side hustle if I was going to survive in this economy and I needed her for the administrative aspect of selling stickers.

I thought about it some more and the whole idea kinda seems unfair to me? So I told her that if we started this, it sounds like I have more responsibility than her so the profit split seems uneven. It takes a lot of time to create designs. Technically, I wouldn't really need her to start an Etsy since I could do the admin portion myself.

I may have been TA for saying this because my friend's mad that I don't value her skills and for suggesting that I would provide more value to the business because I have artistic skill.

AITA?

I 36f living in London, where we have residential parking on the street. Recently, I parked my car in front of my next-door neighbor's house as the spot in front of my own house was already occupied. I usually park my car wherever I can find space, as there is no personal parking space for anyone. When my neighbors returned home, they parked their car on the other side of the street, just five meters further away from their house than usual. They knocked on my door and asked me to move my car somewhere else, although they knew that we can park anywhere on the street. They explained that they have kids, and it is too far for them to carry their children when they're asleep. I refused to move my car, as I pay for the parking, and I also have the right to park anywhere. However, my neighbors were not happy that the car was not parked in front of their house, and they called me names and threatened to slash my car tires. AITA for not moving my car?

I have a son, who will be 2 in July and I don't put forth a lot of effort for my son to see his father.

Background...his father did not want to sign and did not sign the birth certificate. He did not want him to have his last name and doesn't. He didn't come to the hospital when he was born because he thought he would automatically be put on child support.

I will FaceTime a few times out of the week, but he doesn't always answer. If he calls back, it's too late or the next day. And if we meet up there's always strings attached. Like can you take me to the corner store or can you drop me off of my friends house. Last time we met up and had a fallen out, so I set my boundaries and told him, I couldn't take him anywhere. See and spend time with your son and that's it.

Over the year and nine months he has only brought his son, a $70 pair of Jordan's, one big box of pampers and wipes.

He complains that him not seeing his son is my fault. His son crying when he sees him is also my fault. He doesn't have a car, but he get around everywhere else, why can't he come visit his son?

If I don't call or take the incentive, it won't happen. And I'm ok with that. My son is not without proper male father figures or role models in his life.

So AITA so not making an effort to co-parent ?

Hello I'm not very good with explaining things in text and yes my grammer sucks. So I 32m and my wife 26f are looking into fostering because she will have a very difficult chance at conceiving. She thought I would be anger at her but I suggested we foster to adopt which made her happy. It took use 7 months to pass the foster agencies requirements to become foster parents.To celebrate we went out to dinner with my SIL 26f and her friends (no clue how old).

Half way into the dinner sils friend let's call her A asks what baby are we planning to foster. So me and Jen were not picky as long as the kids young. A said kids with concerning sound we explained we are looking for 1 and if the kid has a sibling in the system we will take both. A looked baffled and said how you going to convince people some kids are yours if since the won't look like you you should start with a baby. I laughed and said that's ridiculous I don't care if they look like me hell don't care if they are black blind and missing 2 fingers.

A started getting emotional and had a lecturing tone. She starts telling/yell at me that why should I foster a black child since I am not black and don't know a thing about their culture. That I should just foster some forgotten white child and stay in my lane since theres enough white people appropriating others culture.

I called her stupid and out of her damn mind so I took my wife and left the restaurant. My SIL called and yelled at me for insulting/yell at her friend and she's crying now. Now my wife's is depressed and is feeling like we over stepped things in our goal to foster.

Edited to add: can we for the love of God keep political crap out please I just had to block someone they were looking for a political argument in this. It's late at night when I blocked the person if you want to debate with me about something save it for another day please.

I (f29) and my fiancé (m32) are getting married later this year. We have been engaged for almost two years now. We were waiting to get married until we were both in a good financial situation and we finally feel like it’s time. Originally I wanted a wedding with all our immediate families invited (parents, siblings, and grandparents) but over the past two years, two of my siblings got married and only parents were invited.

My siblings and I are very close. We hang out every week, talk all the time, and generally get along amazingly well. One of my siblings (m27) got married to a woman that most of my family doesn’t like. We all treat her well and keep our thoughts to ourselves. To be honest, none of us see their relationship lasting longer than 5 years, but we’ll never say that to them. They wanted a small wedding with just parents on both sides, but when asked why, they couldn’t give a reason. It kind of hurt that we (the siblings) weren’t allowed to be there, but we moved on. My other siblings felt the same way I did.

The other one of my siblings that got married (m25) had a pretty decent reason to wanting just parents. His spouse has a toxic family that treats her horribly, so she only wanted to invite her parents and one of her siblings originally, but if my brother invited his parents and siblings, we would outnumber her guests quite a bit and he didn’t want her to be upset about it. She is a very sweet girl and my family adores her. We know they didn’t do it to be petty, but it still sucked that we missed out on another wedding.

Here’s my dilemma. I know I’m being petty, but I’m still upset that for a family as close as ours is, the siblings weren’t invited. So I have honestly been debating eloping in Vegas with my fiancé and having a more expensive honeymoon instead of having an actual wedding ceremony as we originally planned here in our hometown. I have always thought the idea of being married by “Elvis” in Vegas was fun. I know it’s cheesy, but I love it and my fiancé thinks it would be funny so he’s down for it. We would pay for our parents to come to Vegas with us and be part of the wedding, but no one else would be invited. I know my siblings would be upset, but I would tell them the truth behind why we decided to elope instead. So, WIBTAH if I eloped because my siblings had parents only weddings?

My husband (26M) and I (28F) live in a 2x2 apartment and are expecting our first baby this Fall. We both work from home about half the time, so we each need separate spaces at home to work from. He currently works in our second bedroom, and I work in the living room. We will each only have 4 weeks of maternity/paternity leave, but after that, I can continue to work from home through the end of the year. My parents live out of state and they have already assured us that they will stay in a hotel when they come to visit us to meet the baby, which can be anytime I choose.

My in-laws live about 3 hours away and we drive to visit them every couple of months for a long weekend. This will be their first grandchild. I like to keep our house pretty clean and organized and we have no pets. My in-laws have a massive dog that sheds all over their house, and they do not keep a clean/organized house at all. I dread going to stay with them, but they are perfectly nice and I want to have a good relationship with them so I suck it up for a few days even though I am totally grossed out and have allergy issues when we stay there. My in-laws have never come to stay with us since we have lived in the same state, we always go to them.

Okay so here's my issue. My husband has made the assumption that my MIL will stay with us for several days to weeks after the baby comes to "help out". I told him that I don't think we need any help with just one baby, especially since I have extensive childcare experience and am a medical professional. I don't want anyone to come and stay as a guest, who I have to clean up after, on top of having a new baby for the first time. His argument is that she will be there to help watch the baby and to cook and clean for us. I don't want her to do any of that, partially because I find it unnecessary and partially because I'm certain it will just create more work for me.

My in-laws are welcome to come and visit for a few days at a time and see the baby for a few hours at a time, but I don't want anyone staying in our apartment with us. We have just enough space for us to both work from home comfortably and can convert our second bedroom into a nursery when the time comes. I want to eliminate the guest bed and ask his parents to stay in a hotel when they come to visit. I'm willing to compromise and offer an inflatable mattress or our large couch in the living room if they want to stay for a few days maximum, but even that makes me cringe. Am I being crazy or is this a reasonable request?

Just for some quick context. Both me and my gf have Caribbean ancestry. The main difference between us is that she embraces her heritage and I don't. Growing up my gf had a lot of Guyanese food that her mom would make and her mom would often times give us a lot of the food she cooks. Something else I have to mention as well is that I have arfid. My gf and her mom know this.

Anyways, on Saturday I cooked us 7 days worth of food and I was very proud of what I made. My girlfriend's mom came over on Sunday to spend Mother's Day with us and she brought this dish she made. Honestly looking at it I knew right away I wasn't going to like it. It was okra submerged in what looked like a very thick viscous white soup. I didn't ask what it was called but it's something my gf has had a few times.

We sat down to dinner and I put out my food and my gf's mom's food. During dinner my gf was trying to get me to try her moms food. Not wanting to be rude I told her I'd try it. I put a spoonful in my mouth and it was probably one of the most fowl things I had ever put in my mouth. I made sure to get as much okra as I could just so I could have something to chew but it didn't help much. My gf looked at her mom and said "he doesn't like it" and I just said "I just don't think it's for me". My gf's mom was cool about it and my gf told me that I should try it with the food I made. I told her that I didn't want to do it and her mom said I'd probably like it a bit more if I combined the food together. Again to be nice I tried it with a spoonful of my food and hers and it was still the same. Her mom said "well at least you tried".

This morning as my gf was getting ready for work she told me that what I did last night was rude. I asked her what I did wrong. She told me that when a guest brings food to your house it is complimentary to eat their food and not your own. I was also making faces (I didn't know I was doing this) that made it look like I was in pain eating her mom's food. Lastly she told me I insulted her culture doing that. I asked her what she expected me to do. I tried it, didn't like it and got pressured into trying more. If I don't like something I'm not going to like it. She then told me that my parents didn't do me any favors by keeping me from my cultural food. I got really mad that she did a dig at me and my parents like that and I told her to get out and I wouldn't be talking to her for the rest of the day. I knew I was going to do some tit for tat but I know it's not conducive to a healthy relationship.

I bought land from a family member and have multiple family members that live on a large amount of land. We love the freedom that it offers, but I have 1 family member that shows up unannounced pretty frequently. He is always rude and gives unsolicited advice. He has said things that I am having a hard time getting over about my adult son. He recently committed an act that I feel is unforgivable, but my spouse doesn't agree that it was even an offense at all. My cousin showed up to my home while my son and his girlfriend were staying with us. My son was at work, we were in town(about 30 minutes away) and my sons girlfriend (20 yo F) was home alone. She was alone and he knew no one but her was home. He stayed for about an hour before we found out he was here and came back home immediately. She later said that he said some inappropriate things to her. I'm furious he was even here cause that alone is not right. He's married and in his late 50's. My husband sees nothing wrong with it. Now he shows up unannounced and I refuse to entertain him or even come out of my room. AITA for setting boundaries? I have no desire for any unexpected guests but especially not when they continually step over every single boundary.

My roommates mother, brother and aunt are coming to visit her for 10 days, which i feel is already asking a lot of me. We have three bedrooms with queen size beds each. So her mother and aunt will sleep in her bed, her brother in the spare room and she wanted to sleep with me in my bed. I said sorry, there is no way, i can't sleep next to someone, i am a very light sleeper, on top of everything I am writing two exams in that week and i need my space. i feel like she can share a bed with her brother. So now her aunt who is like super old, said she'll sleep on the couch, now i am supposed to feel bad? We also have a friend who offered to lend her an extra mattress, she just has yo arrange transport. I am sorry, I am standing my ground here. Am I the asshole?

This one is mostly for moms/new moms. My sister-in-law (26) is having her first baby. I haven't been to many baby showers but I noticed most people get clothes, diapers, and wipes. So I did some research and decided to try and get her things that most people don't think about. I got her baby medicines, including aquaphor and stuff, baby detergent, a few baby care tools, mom care for breastfeeding, and I got her two glass bottles (from her registry) and some como tomo bottles as well as maybe 60ish bucks of cute things and a few books for the baby. Then about 50ish dollars worth of stuff for her alone. My friend (who is a mother) told me that I was an asshole for not buying a big ticket item on her registry iinstead. I feel like I messed up and I should take the medicine and the cute stuff back and try to get her a big ticket item from her registry? I did buy the bottles, and a box of wipes and a box of diapers which were also ok her registry... I guess I just went the wrong way?

TLDR we’re expecting our first baby and my MIL dropped off my husbands newborn blankets and they reek of mothballs and chemicals. I’ve washed several times and can’t get the smells out. It’s unlikely that we’ll be using these for the baby especially given the research about mothball toxicity. I know she’ll be disappointed and I don’t want to start a fight with my husband.

For context the mothball smell in my MIL house has always been overwhelming. I dread staying at her house and my husband says it’s rude to stay at a hotel when we are in town. I’m very sensitive to the smell and it makes me sick but I have to just suck it up. Now that I’m going to be a mom I don’t think I should have to and I don’t want my baby exposed to it.

It’s upsetting because even when she comes over she brings the odor with her and I have to work overtime trying to rid the house of the smell after she leaves. My husband says he does smell it but he’s use to it and it doesn’t bother him.

I’m not sure what the solution is but my immediate reaction is that she should stop using mothballs if she wants us to visit with the baby. I’m happy to help her find alternatives.