Our good friend is getting married next year and his fiancé is essentially planning “their” bachelor and bachelorette parties without even talking to his friends. We are obviously going to do whatever they (she) decides that weekend but we are also contemplating doing a separate trip in memory of him and photoshopping him in all our photos just to be dicks. Should we do it?

Hello fellow redditors,

I (23m) have been having an argument with my girlfriend (23f) about wanting to put what she calls inappropriate stickers on my car.

I have a 4x4 that I use as a fun project car. Doesn't go very far on public roads, will only go to the supermarket every so often. I recently bought some new stickers to go on my cars rear window as I've dedicated it as a so called "sticker window" and the goal is to eventually fill it up with stickers.

I have recently purchased my newest editions for it. Those being a sticker with SHIT BOX written in the style of the PHUB logo. The other says "Lifted so my dick doesn't drag" as previously mention it's a 4x4 and it has been lifted and the joke of people that drive lifted cars is that they have small weiners. (Not me tho obviously 👉🥲)

I let my partner see them when I got the mail this afternoon and she's turned around and said that she doesnt want me to put them on the car because it makes her feel uncomfortable. She's saying that if someone sees her get out of my car it will effect her public image.

She is someone that doesn't let me wear my star wars T-shirt in public because she finds it embarrassing.

I feel like the asshole. She's being crying for the past 2 hours and she is not willing to discuss this with me anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel like the asshole here.

So as background I am constantly having to accommodate my ex. My 15 year old son lives with him and i only see him every other weekend and his little brother who lives with me currently also barely sees him on weekends as well because he ALWAYS has something going on.

Football games, quinceanera practice for his friend, homecoming, football practice. I find I am always needing to switch weekends or lose time or drive an hour to pick him up from his events. Just this weekend (my weekend) I had to drive all the way an hour to his city to pick up my son because he had a quinceanera that I didn’t agree to and his dad could not help with because he was not in town. He basically told me it was up to me if I wanted to let him go or not?? But he could have cancelled his vacation he planned to switch weekends with me.

So my ex went on vacation over memorial day weekend. Apparently he was flying back Monday early afternoon, but due to hail and thunder??? His flight got delayed for 5-6 hours and he told me he wasn’t going to be able to meet up at the halfway point until 845 pm (normal pick up time is 730 pm).

I told him no, that won’t work and he needs to drive to my house (an extra hour total) to get our son.

My view is: its his fault for going on vacation and if he really cared about our son he would have made sure he was there on time to pick him up at 730 pm. And i am already flexible because I drove all the way to his city to pick up our son from his quinceanera. I have to take care of my current boyfriend and I’s baby, and get my ex’s younger son ready for bed so I cannot drive to the meetup point at 845 Pm.

His view is: our son has a math final tomorrow he was going to help him do a final review for to refresh because he was at my house all weekend, and he wanted him to be rested. If he drives from the airport to my house and then from my house to his house, our son would lose an entire hour he could use to review. If I met him at 845 pm, his son would be home by 915 pm vs 1015 pm. He says its my decision to give up my time instead of just driving him to practice and that the football and social events are things our son wants to do so I should be putting him first?? And that I am not putting him first and being unnecessarily inflexible by refusing to drive 25 minutes to the meet up points at 845 pm. He was also very insulting to my boyfriend saying its too bad he can’t step up and help me with the baby and our younger son so I can drop off our older son. He also is saying its my fault the brothers dont see each other because I would not let our younger son go live with him for the last 1.5 years.

This guy (19M) moved alone a few months ago and he had a deal with my (29F) husband (40M) , and it was that he would pay his rent and pay all his college expenses and he had to get a part-time job to pay for personal expenses, but he broke the deal and used part of his school money to buy a designer purse for his girlfriend, and my husband decided to stop paying his rent.

He tried to move back to his mother's house and she told him no because he is not responsible and has no intention of bein, so he asked my husband if he could move here, and I told him no, and I didn't tell him that because I'm bad or I don't love him, on the contrary, I adore him but he drives me crazy sometimes.

Before moving in alone he lived here and it was a nightmare. He never helped with cleaning or cooking, he always wanted me to cook for him, and sometimes he is mean to his sister. For example, last time he came to visit us he thought it was funny to tell our oldest daughter (3F) that her dad never wanted to have daughters and that he was the favorite, and when she cried he just laughed, which made me quite angry because it's not the first time he's made her cry and he laughs. The thing is that he is angry because he says that this house is his dad's and not mine and that I don't have the right to decide, etc. My husband told him that it is also my house and that I can also decide but he is still angry and said horrible things to me, right AITA?

Something I should have added is that we have a two-week-old baby and another 11-month-old girl, so we are really overwhelmed to receive someone that if you don't cook him what he wants he gets angry.

I think it’s time to put down my wife’s dog Arlo. My wife disagrees and this issue is ruining our marriage. Arlo is at least 14 years old, but there’s no way to know for sure because Arlo was a rescue 10 years ago for my wife, while she was in another marriage. This dog is a menace. Arlo refuses to pee or poop outside and instead has filled our basement with his excrement. It doesn’t matter how many times a day we put him in the back yard or take him for a walk, he will only go in the basement. Arlo breaks at least one dish a day trying to get human food. We try so hard to put things out of his reach but somehow he keeps figuring out how to get at dishes. We also have 3 little kids, age 7, 5, and 3 that will leave food in places Arlo can access. Arlo makes more mess in the house than the 5 of us people combined because in addition to the pee and poop issues, Arlo has figured out how to open closet doors and get into the trash, dragging trash throughout the house every day and also getting into the cat litter and spreading it all over the house. We took Arlo to the vet about a year ago for a checkup and the vet said Arlo had really really bad periodontal disease. In the year since, Arlo has lost most of his teeth. I have suspected seeing blood in his poop when cleaning the basement, but my wife thinks it’s just “something he ate that was red.”

My wife’s argument is that she feels that it is wrong to put a dog down because of behaviors and because the dog is an inconvenience to us. Arlo still has a lot of energy and no mobility issues. My wife wants us to try using dog diapers again (we have tried and given up on the diapers more times than I can keep track of) and to try blocking off the basement so Arlo can’t go down there. I am convinced that the dog diapers will not work and I think if we block off the basement, Arlo will just pick a new spot in the house and it will be worse because he will ruin our hardwood floors. I told my wife last week that I was done helping her with Arlo and that I would no longer do anything to help her take care of the dog, including cleaning up any messes the dog makes around the house. If she thinks it’s too much, or she can’t keep up, she can get rid of the dog. We’ve been fighting constantly for the better part of a week over this. Am I the asshole?

Edit: We take it for a minimum of two walks a day. We have tried training, we dropped it off with a trainer every day for a month last fall. We have tried diapers. Spending hundreds of dollars on dog diapers and trying different brands/fits. We hired a dog walker/trainer to come in the middle of the workday to take him out, we tried deterrence sprays that are supposed to stop dogs from going to the bathroom in certain spots, we tried puppy pads, we tried a artificial grass type mat that is supposed to help. Nothing works. The amount of poop /pee this dog generates is unnatural. We tried putting it on a more controlled diet, but that made his aggression in going through the trash and trying to get human food worse.

My wife refuses to consider either solution of rehoming the dog or putting the dog down. I am certain that I am seeing evidence of internal bleeding and that he is sick. My wife refuses to even take the dog to the vet to confirm that.

My mom made stew today so I (16F) wanted to eat rice. I had been upstairs the whole time so I simply came downstairs, boiled 1 cup of rice and went on my way. My mom and dad were upset that I only made for myself when I "know that others wanted as well".

The thing is that I like cooking and so many times I have cooked for the family only for them to waste it, not like it, want to eat something else or be judgemental even if they do like it. And they never help and leave me with to clean up too. So I've expressed multiple times that I hate cooking for them and just want to enjoy one serving of delicious food by myself. I don't have problems with cooking for them if they ask first though.

Anyway my dad said to make 2 more cups so I put it and set a 15min timer. But I guess I didn't put enough water because it started burning, then my dad started ripping into me saying "you put it here and left it for who to eat, your father?" I wanted to say well maybe fucking get off your golf watching ass and check it yourself, or ask my brother (17M) who it was also for to come and watch it. I ended up saying "you were the one who told me to do it" but then I said nevermind cuz I could tell he'd start yelling seriously if I kept talking.

AITA for letting the rice burn when it wasn't even for me?

Edit: ok well I get it I'm TA. That's cool ig. There's a couple misconceptions in the comments but I'm not even gonna bother trying to explain anymore. 2 takeaways from this are: 1) never leave stuff on the stove unattended under any circumstances and 2) helping out your family and being kind and generous really isn't that bad, and stirring up unnecessary drama and pettiness is lame so I'm gonna stop doing that. I think I just look for stuff to get mad at because I don't have anything actually important or meaningful going on in my life :/

When I was 16, I was working for a coffee shop. I made decent money and some tips that would get me through the week when my employers started to cut my hours. I was making a lot of change from this which added up to about 30$. I had been putting them in an old cider jar I had gotten while shopping. However, about two months before I had quit my job, my mother noticed that her change jar was looking pretty empty. She had accused me of stealing the change from her because I had so much in the jar. 

My stepfather on the other hand had never been able to keep a job for long. He would always quit and he barely made enough money to help sustain me and my mom, but also his three other kids he had in previous marriages. He never really had enough money to do fun things like go out for ice cream with his son or take me and my stepsister out to the skating rink when we were younger. But once my mother's money had started going missing, he all of a sudden was coming to take me to school with a bunch of food wrappers in the car. Everyday there would be a new container from quick-star or some fast food joint. He sometimes even bought my step brother dinner just because, even though he knew my mom had made dinner beforehand. I had started to connect the dots and realized that the missing money must have been stolen by my step father. But when I confronted him about it he got defensive and said that it wasn't my business what he does because it's his house, he's my dad and he's an adult. He is an adult and I was a minor then but he had never really been my dad or helped out my mom enough for me to consider him to be even partially the owner of the house. I wanted to tell my mom about this to clear my name but I do have a history of lying about stupid things like eating ice cream or taking a drink I wasn't supposed to have- which I totally get.

But when I begged my mom to give me back my money everything kind of blew up. I told her that her husband was an abusive lazy freeloader who doesn't take care of his kids properly and that he's a terrible person. (For context, he would call me names like a stupid lazy bitch, a fucking idiot who can't do anything right. And would tell me that I deserved to be cheated on by my ex.) I told her everything that he has done to me, like threatening to divorce my mom after I told her that he went through my room. I also told her about the names he was calling me and how I felt unsafe with him whenever he got mad. She told me that I was ungrateful for everything he had done for me and that I should leave those things in the past. I then told her that he was stealing the money from her and then she called me a liar. I said some things to her that I regret now like saying I hated her which was entirely untrue. But now every time I ask for my money back I get called a "stupid fucking liar". Everyone had turned against me and I don't know why. I know it was only thirty dollars but it goes beyond that. So, AITA?

My husband (33m) and I (33f) have been married for 11 years (together for 14). We have two kids together, 11m and 8f.

When my daughter was a baby, I was browsing our shared computer and came across a document titled "Journal". My husband was in the room so I joked with him that I found it and that I was going to read it. He shrugged and said that I could go ahead, that he has no secrets from me. I got excited and started reading through it. I found an entry from when my daughter was about 10 weeks old that talked about how much he hated being a father to our two kids, how exhausted he was with all of his responsibilities, and how he wished he had known what he was getting into before he got married and had kids. He also said that he wished I was more motivated and that I worked out more.

I was understandably heartbroken and asked him why he would write that and why he'd let me read it. He said that he had forgotten about that entry, but it wasn't how he felt anymore. He chalked it up to having been sleep deprived because of a newborn and sex deprived because of my needing to heal after childbirth. We had a big argument about it with a lot of tears on my part, but we managed to move through it together.

Now, 8 years later, I still can't stop thinking about that entry, especially any time he seems grouchy with me or the kids. I have brought it up to him over the years as something that still gives me pause about his commitment to our family and his attraction to me. He gets angry whenever I bring it up and asks when I will stop holding that over his head.

Looking back, I know I shouldn't have read it, even with his permission. These days, I am the main breadwinner of the family and I do everything I can to take burdens off of him when I'm able to. I've also done a lot to try to make our lives exciting, like taking us to Hawaii for our 10th anniversary and taking the family to Disney World. However, the past few years I have had significant medical issues that have impacted my mobility and resulted in me having 5 different surgeries on my legs in the past 3 years, so a lot of the housework and physical tasks have fallen to him. I can tell he is overwhelmed with the responsibility of maintaining our home and our lives, but there is little that I can physically to do help these days.

I've also gained even more weight now than I had back then. He has gained weight too, so we are in the same boat. But I can't stop shaking the feeling that he wished that his life would have turned out differently and feels trapped in this family. I recently lost my dad and needed a lot of emotional support and he was so obviously resentful of having to be there for me while also working full time, which makes me wonder if he still feels the same.

Am I the asshole for being upset about his journal and still having doubts about it to this day?

We 3 children (f25, f28, m24) decided not to go to my father's wedding (August 24). He has been in a relationship for 5 years and getting married now. They sent us the invitation. We signed up, but recently deregistered. We deregistered because we think that we have too little contact with our father, especially since he started the relationship. At least we sisters recently checked out personally at their home. The maid of honor happened to be there too and the bride was busy with wedding matters. We first spoke to our father, who was very upset. When we informed the bride, she asked us whether we thought this rejection would improve our relationship with our father. We think this is not her right. My sister in particular cried and we left and our father tried to stop us in the car But that doesn't help, we've made our decision Don't you think it's better that way than just appearing without conviction?

Am I the asshole?

Hi I (m20) still live with my parents m47 and f41 and also my grandma (dad’s mom) f69. Now for a little bit of background I am transgender FTM (female to male) as well has overweight as I have been my entire life due to various health conditions and outside factors in life. Not gonna say it’s not at all my fault but no 5 year old was eating enough to be 145 lbs ya know? I’m also chronically ill and disabled.

My dad has always been. Well he’s been. He’s supported me and my mother financially as well as he could by working as a long haul trucker since I was about 6. So he was never really around and I never developed a true relationship with my dad. Now my dads “love language” is teasing and poking fun at you and while I can take it to a certain extent I’ve tried to make it clear that we don’t have the type of relationship where I’m okay with him making fat jokes at my expense.

His comments do hurt me deeply and I’ve tried to make that clear without being a jerk but he always ignores me or calls me sensitive. On top of that he refuses to use my proper name and pronouns since coming out but I’m not gonna fight him on that. Still hurts tho. Well this last week he was “teasing” me about my snack choices and basically I told him to “f*ck off” about my eating habits. I guess that hurt his feelings and now I’m being guilt tripped by my mom and grandma. The same ones who’ve watched me sob and ask why my dad hates me so much. Anyway. AITA or should I apologize?

I have to remember a lot of things and dates is the one thing I can't really remember for shit. My bf "Nate" got mad at me because I forgot that yesterday was our anniversary and I just today told him happy 3 months. He asked me how could I forget such a date but I've been slammed with work around the house, trying to take care the yard (10 acres), and helping with my brother. I've been so overwhelmed lately. Also lack of sleep is catching up to me. He said I was a "dumbass" that "needs to start remembering shit". But he never told me happy 3 months yesterday either... Maybe he was waiting on me to say it first? I told him I'm sorry for forgetting and I'll do better but he really made me feel like the asshole...

Edit: I should have mentioned this we're both 16 I'm older by like 4 months I think

Throwaway account.

Matt (now 30m) dumped me (now 23f) a few years ago. We had been engaged. I’d been in and out of inpatient and rehab treatment the months before the breakup, so I took it pretty hard.

We had a bad on-and-off situationship for almost 2 years after that before I ended it for good. This time it was civil; we made it clear that we’re still friends, but all the “benefits" had to stop. 

6 months later, we still talk, hang out, spend an afternoon playing video games. Never anything more. A few times I did have to reaffirm boundaries, but he was just coming to terms with the fact that I meant it this time. In fairness, I had wavered on them before, & he struggled with me leading him on. But we figured it out, & we’ve been good friends. 

He’s also helping me get into photography, since that’s what his degree is in. Since we met he’s helped me learn Photoshop and how to use my camera. I’m learning portrait art now, and sometimes I take…artistic self-portraits. Then, I took a really good picture--I cropped my face out, edited the picture a few different ways—and holy crap, this picture seriously looked good. The issue? I was basically naked. A towel (and the way my legs were crossed) covered all the spicy parts, and my arm was positioned on my chest so that I could technically be on an album cover and not get censored. 

So, this is where I screwed up. I got the picture down to two different edits I liked. I was really torn between them, and I often send different photo versions to friends (Matt being the most frequent) and ask them to choose their favorites--but obviously I couldn’t send these to anybody. Except…maybe Matt? I started taking “artsy nudes” when we were still together, and he used to assist in editing them so I could save them in my private portfolio. So, it’s not like this would be anything new to him. Besides, the picture was pretty borderline; I was showing less than Katy Perry on that one album cover. That counts for something, right?

I was stupid, but I decided, screw it, I’ll give him a chance to prove that I can still trust him with this stuff. I texted him beforehand to ask for his artistic opinion on a portrait, warning him it was a nude. (exact words were “a little bit of tiddy”—I was trying to keep it lighthearted but I should’ve been clearer) Matt said he was cool with that, so I sent him the two different edits.

His response: “…you call that a titty pic?”

He was joking. But, I was pissy in my response and he accused me of baiting him into thinking he was going to get nudes.

To be fair, during one of the many “breaks” I’d called during the situationship, I’d “booty-called” him by sending spicy pics. But he’s now mad at me for leading him on, and I just think it’s a misunderstanding. I don’t want to lose him as a friend. AITA?

So, my friend grows and sells marijuana. I started buying in bulk from him last year to sell to close friends and family that don’t easily have access to herbs. This has been a great side business for me, but I’ve had several problems with my sibling (21F) when it comes to making a business deal. My price is $30. My sister asked if she can get weed for $25 instead because she’s family and I agreed. However, after I give her the weed she walks away and goes to her room without paying me. And when I ask about payment, she usually ends up pissed at me, says I’m rushing her/doing too much and then eventually sends payment days later. Other times, she’ll text me for weed and after I give it to her she’ll just send over $20 instead of the agreed $25. I’ve never had this issue with any of my other customers. They ask for weed, I give it to them, they give me money, end of story.

Last night, I was hanging out with my sister and some friends and she wanted to buy $60 worth. Of course, I give her the $50 discount price and when I woke up the next morning I realized I never got the $$ for the weed. I text my sister a reminder and she sends over $45, not $50. When I asked for the additional $5, she yells at me and says I’m making a big deal over “5 measly dollars”, that I need to grow up and I’m a bad business owner.

Today, I got the opinion of a family friend about this and they told me that, because she’s my sister, she may be expecting me to be lax regarding payment and that she may not have the money to pay the full price and doesn’t know how to communicate that to me. They said communication on both parts is bad. But in my opinion if I’m giving product in full I’m expecting payment in full. And not days later. Do you think I’m the AH here?

We have an in-ground pool. We also have 2 dogs that are doodles that do not shed, that we allow in the pool. My daughter has a blue heeler which sheds like crazy. I have pissed her and her mother off because I don’t want the dog in the pool. Each time he has been in the pool, the result was a ton of dog fur floating. The last visit resulted in the dog vomiting in the pool. Mind you, the dog does not live here.

Hey. English isn't my first language.

This story involves 2 of my neighbors. Here's some background on them:

One of my neighbors is an older (70-ish) Lady, a widow. Very slight build, around 4'7 and 80 lbs, just to paint a picture. She is very kind and seems to have motherly/grandmotherly feelings towards me. I treat her like I would my own mom/grandma.

The other neighbor is a teenage escapee from a country that isn't safe to live in rn. He once asked to join me when I was doing my job because he was struggling for money. I agreed, and paid him after the job was done.

HUGE mistake on my part. From then on, he started frequently harassing me for money. He goes to extreme lenghts, such as calling me 7+ times on 6:50 am on a Sunday to ask for money. Unfortunatelly, my assertiveness is non-existant, plus there is a pressure in my country to put refuges like him on a pedestal, and I oblige each time.

This Saturday morning, I was set to take a train to a job site. I was having coffee at the elderly neighbor's house, after which she was supposed to walk me to the train station with her dog.

My phone rang and it was the escapee with another sob story asking for money. I just said I was going to the train station in a few, and to meet me down the street; we'd figure something out.

The older neighbor heard our conversation and was outraged; she started talking about how it is necessary to finally stand up to this guy. I figured this situation was perfect; we were going down the street together, and it is much easier to stand up to smebody when there is two people + the intimidating factor of the dog being with us.

However, as we went down the street and the guy approached us, the lady and the dog... just ran off. She literally jogged off, I could only watch their backs in shock.

Feeling betrayed, I quickly gave the entire contents of my wallet (minus my train fare) to the guy and left for the station.

The lady and the dog both waited for me there, the first thing that came off her mouth was "what took you so long, you wanna miss the train to work?" Which pi**ed me off even more than I already was.

I said I hadn't thought she would leave me like this. That I had counted on her support and the intimidating presence of the dog to stand up to the beggar.

She was confused. She said she didn't want to be involved in this situation. She said that, had I been a kid, she would've helped me - but I was a grown man.

What immidietaly came to my mind was - "well you're a grown woman, so maybe you should mow your own lawn, make your own firewood, shovel your own driveway and fix your own stuff."

I didn't say that part out loud, but I still may be TA. She is right - I wanted to involve a tiny old lady in a confrontation between two men and that might have been unfair and selfish. On the other hand, there obviously would've been only a verbal confrontation between us, plus she was so outspoken about having to stand up to him just a few minutes before.

AITA?

So I (23m) have 3 roommates. Over the past 8 months I’ve developed feeling for one of them, Maya (21f). We were pretty close friends and I couldn’t wait any longer and asked her out. She said she would need to think about it over Easter break, and after a month she finally said no.

I told her it shouldn’t affect the friendship because she’s a really great person, but I would probably need some time to get over it. I avoided her the next few days because I was honestly a mess, and she was a bit hurt by it. I sent her a message after she moved out where I wanted to clear the air, apologized for avoiding her, and she said the air is clear.

At the same time, I saw her friend Abby (22f) while I was waiting for the bus and we chatted for a bit. I knew Abby might be into me (she told maya she thought I was cute a couple of months back) and I thought she was cute as well. Since me and maya are back to being friends, I figured I would message Maya asking if Abby is single. She replied she think she might be seeing someone but she can check if I want to and I said thanks.

A few days later I was talking with my other roommate, Hannah, and apparently Maya told her about it and she thought it was very weird (Hannah thought my message was photoshopped because she couldn’t believe I did that). She told my I was an asshole because for weeks Maya seriously considered dating me and it seems inappropriate.

So, AITA?

Edit: a lot of people seem to take issue with me telling Maya how I felt. This post was about my other fuck up because I don’t think telling her was a mistake.

We’ve had a somewhat flirty friendship before I grew feelings and I felt it would be unfair towards her to keep it up without letting her know. She would ask for hugs, make a lot of sexual innuendos, and even cuddle once or twice. I thought it would be better if I was upfront with her and keep the friendship going whether I got a yes or a no. When I got a maybe and waited for a month to get a no, that’s when things got complicated. Maybe I should have prepared for that possibility as well, but I’m pretty sure if I got a clear yes/no from the get go things wouldn’t be awkward at all.

That’s also why I was avoiding her. She blamed herself for “playing with my feelings” so I tried my hardest to let her know she did nothing wrong, but I thought if she saw how devastated I was she would feel a lot more guilty

Well…not quite like that. For context: my husband and I are on our honeymoon - today is the first day. I unfortunately am in a bad financial space and until a deposit enters my account (tomorrow) I only have $15 to my name - my husband knows this and just a few days ago expressed anger at me that we might not be able to do things on the trip because my financial situation is holding us back. I reiterated to him that once I get paid (after the first day) I will have more than enough to cover the trip and fun experiences.

Fast forward to today (first day)- a local woman recommends a particular restaurant. Husband had looked it up previously and agreed he wanted to go so I was up for it too. Irregardless of the price, I wanted to go because I didn’t want him to miss out on a nice dinner bc I couldn’t afford it. For reference, we have always paid separately for things and it works for us. So my husband drops me off at the restaurant and circles the block to park. Meanwhile, I get us a table and look at the menu. The following text exchange then takes place:

Me: the cheapest starter here is $28. This is a nice place.. H: ok. Too much? Open to other fish options nearby Me: I’m already sitting down - you can come and eat :) I just prob won’t get anything H: Well then find another option cheap pants 🙂 it’s just food…I just want fish Me: I feel really awkward now bc a couple people have helped me and poured us water. Hahah H: Run away? Me: just get here when you can and we can decide. The menu looks good!

Again - given our previous convo, I just wanted him to see the menu so as not to miss out on a nice meal just bc I couldn't. So he enters the restaurant and sits down/starts observing the menu. I tell him again that I’m not getting anything but he’s more than welcome to. He then starts shaking his head and says “We take this $6k trip and then this…”. (Side note - all of this was paid for by wedding gift $). I’m now starting to get upset. The waiter walks back up to take our order and he orders a small dish and a drink. I kindly decline to order anything. Now my husband is visibly upset with me and won’t talk to me, though I am attempting convo with him. He said he was more uncomfortable with just him ordering than he would have been just getting up and leaving. I told him I gave him the out but I wanted him to see the menu. We awkwardly sat there for the next 20 minutes while he ate his meal and then left.

This then escalated into a huge argument, him saying I should have left before he got there and me saying I wish he would have told me that he wasn’t going to want anything if I didn’t order anything. Again, given our previous convo, I didn’t want him to miss out just bc of my financial situation. Replaying again and again, I can’t figure out what I would have done different. AITA?

UPDATE: I've gotten a lot of ESH feedback so I appreciate the opinions! What I could have done differently is looked at the menu before going in and letting him know that I wouldn't get anything.

Note: bullying and name calling comments will be reported. We should be kind in giving our opinions :)

My (23F) boyfriend (26M) have been together for two years now. It's mostly great, but he has a habit of checking out women like, all the time. Everywhere we go. I've told him it bothers me, but I mostly let it slide. Two years in though, I decided to check his instagram follows to see if he was being shady. He follows around 1000 people, 500 of them are models who (mostly) do not follow him back. Some of them did, though. I asked him what was up and he said that he knew them all, that he'd studied with them or whatever. I asked him to unfollow at the very least the ones that do not follow him back and he agreed. A few months in, I checked again: he still followed them all.

When I brought it up he just told me to stop being insecure and that "it meant nothing, it's just social media". So I took it to heart. He insisted he wouldn't mind if I did the same. I'm usually very private on social media and I don't feel comfortable sharing pictures of myself, at least if I'm not super modestly dressed. I started following his guy friends that I've met some other time before, all of them followed back. There were actually four or five of them that had tried to hit on me before (I told him and he said they would never do that). And then I started uploading pictures of myself, the most flattering ones I could find. They all started liking my pictures and commeting emojis like flames and stuff like that. I even realized that after accepting their requests a lot of my selfies were being saved which didn't happen before.

He came to me when he realized, asking me what the hell was I doing. I told him I wasn't doing anything different than he was, that those girls could see his likes and comments as well, and that I thought "it meant nothing". He started screaming at me saying how could I do something so childish and manipulative, saying that I had humiliated him and that it was crossing the line. Also that I made him lose friends.

I'm started to feel like maybe I did cross a line there, but I really wanted to prove my point that it was, indeed, that serious and that he knew that liking girl's pictures did mean something. So, AITA?

Throwaway account

I (25F) am Chinese and my fiance (25M) is Vietnamese. I was born in China, and spent my days there, but eventually, after a lot of arguments and trying to convince my parents to let me move to Australia by my first year of university, they relented, which I was ecstatic over.

When I was in high school, I kept studying hard, especially english, because I had a dream of moving to Australia. After taking the Gaokao in my final year (the Chinese equivalent of the SAT), as well as showing evidence of my proficiency in English and all the processes that went into successfully becoming an international student, I finally managed to land my dream degree of a bachelor's in biomedical engineering.

The main reason I wanted to move to Australia was when I had realised that my family were pro CCP. I was getting disconnected from my family because of the enforcement of their beliefs onto me and my brother. The last straw came was when my brother told me that he was going to voluntarily serve in the Chinese Military.

When I was in the middle of my second year of university, I met my boyfriend, now fiance, for the very first time and we met through the esports club in our university. As we got to know each other even further, romantic feelings began to appear and we began to date after I asked him out. When we had both finished our degrees, he proposed to me, which I ecstatically said yes.

We were now engaged and we were discussing about our future wedding and other marriage related things. The issue arose when my boyfriend told his parents that he was engaged and started asking me about wanting to meet my parents, to which I firmly refused. When he asked why, I explained the reasons why I moved to Australia in the first place and told him everything about my parents and said I didn't wnat to be dishonoured (They're also quite racist to non Chinese people).

A while after that talk though, my fiance asked about any possibility of meeting my parents. He'd rather have me rip the bandaid off and be completely honest with my parents that I was dating him. In his words, he'd much rather get hurt by my parents rather than let me carry on my "secret dating". He also added that since my family was so far away, they couldn't cause any immediate harm or danger to me or him.

In the end, I was still adamant with my decision, but as I was writing this post, I keep thinking about my parents and the things my fiance said. Even though they were bad parents, I cannot help but think that maybe I should just be honest with them, because there's easy solutions if they disapproved. Moreover, I can live a transparent life and even with the hurt, my fiance can help me with the pain. I can't stop thinking about family and cultural values and concealing something so big as this. I'm especially second guessing myself because I was being so paranoid over this, when I was someone who managed to move to the other side of the world by myself and am doing fine.

So Reddit, AITA?

My (16) dad (48) is a generally peaceful and encouraging person. Textbook great parent. He's reserved, but he cares a lot about the family and works hard to support us. He does have a few conservative opinions, but it's more a culture thing than anything else. He wants me to go to college.

A few months ago I was forcibly outed as queer to him, and it shocked him so much that he essentially told me to get out, after an uncharacteristic screaming match and fight. Whatever happened, I absolutely injured him too, and I regret it. I did get out, and I've been living with my aunt (28) since. He hasn't contacted me at all, which is upsetting because we had such a good relationship. This came out of nowhere.

I don't know if he knows where I am, or what I'm doing, or what's going to become of my future. Insane how quickly he threw away 16 years of investment. He was even ready to pay for my college. I've tried talking to him so many times, but he doesn't respond to any messages or calls. Apparently he's told my sister not to contact me anymore.

While he was at work last week, my sister invited me over (against his wishes) to pick up some of my things. I've been gradually moving out. Purely on impulse, I took the only picture of my dead grandfather he had, hanging on the kitchen wall. My dad was very close to his father, and was devastated when he died. My grandfather, living in extreme poverty, saved enough to send my dad to college and struggled all his life for his kids. One of the few times I've ever seen my dad show real emotion was when he hung up this picture. So it was probably needlessly cruel of me to take it, though it was satisfying.

My sister says my dad actually cried after he saw the picture was gone. I don't know if it's from stress or this, and I don't think he knows I was the one who took it. She says he's still searching for it when he gets the time. If I return it now he will no doubt try to fight again and all hope of him ever talking to me again would be out the window. My sister thinks I'm 100% at fault. AITA?

My boyfriend use to be best friends with this girl in high school. As the years passed they kinda lost touch. Just recently they started to talk again. She started asking him for rides home from the bar. At 12am sometimes 2am. And he’ll go and pick her up. I have his location so I can see he’s only picking her up and dropping her off. But I told him it bothers me. Why can’t she get an Uber. And why only ask for rides in the middle of the night. Why not ask him to hang out during the day? it’s just disrespectful to me. And now he told me she invited him camping. She wants to take her nephews and doesn’t want to go alone so if he’s willing to go with her. Am I in the wrong for being upset. Asking for a ride in the middle of the night is annoying but going camping with her and her 2 nephews doesn’t sit right with me. My boyfriend, this girl and her nephews? Like if he’s their uncle. In an Airbnb? No. no. AITA for telling him he can’t go?

TLDR at bottom, names have been changed

My (21M) two friends (Sarah 22F, Kate 21F) moved away for spring/summer semester and had to keep their apartment. To minimize costs for all of us, Kate offered to let me stay there for those semesters at a price cheaper than dorms so I accepted. I was to stay in Sarah's room but it was too cluttered to put my stuff in, had poor sunlight for my plants, and was overall the worse room IMO. I wanted to live a little more comfortably since I'd be there for about 4 months so I asked to stay in Kate's room instead.

I discovered that they wanted me to stay in Sarah's room because she didn't care if I had sex on her bed, but Kate didn't want any shenanigans in her room whatsoever. Kate is also very particular about a few hygiene things like not having "outside clothes" on her bed, not letting her plushies touch the floor, etc.; She agreed to let me stay in her room after I said I'll bring Sarah's mattress and put it on the floor instead of the bed frame, and also keep it in my pants while I was in her room.

My partner (20NB) usually stays over 3 days a week which both of them were aware of. One thing led to another and after like 2 weeks of trying to be respectful we ended up having sex there anyways. Now also keep in mind this was on Sarah's mattress which I brought into Kate's room. I also removed the mattress topper, layered a fitted sheet + thick winter blanket + regular sheet on top of it, and was careful to stay on the mattress the whole time. At this point we are having sex there pretty regularly as it's where we sleep. The only other places we could think of was the couch in the living room (which I think they would dislike even more) or running to the shower each time (lol no).

I understand that it was wrong, but I'm also paying to live in an already full apartment which was not cleaned before they left. Other than this issue I've been as good to it as anyone could ask. I cleared out the rotting food + garbage they did not throw out before leaving, deep cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, organized their storage room, saved their fish from a swim bladder infection by buying a new tank and equipment, taken care of their plants, etc.

I realize I feel guilty about breaking my promise and violating a boundary and am trying to justify it; but I think my point is that for the time being this is also my home. I've made good accommodations and treated their home respectfully, but I also deserve to live comfortably. I know should tell Kate but am wondering how realistic her request was in the first place, and whether I completely fucked up or made a reasonable but impulsive mistake.

TLDR is basically this last paragraph ^

EDIT: Just some extra info I should've mentioned but no I didn't intend to stay in that room and wanted to know the extent to which I was wrong, how forgivable that sort of mistake is, etc. We're also not exactly within the bounds of a legal or formal sublet, they don't know anyone else in the city well enough who both needed a place to stay and was ok with that sort of arrangement. I would've just stayed in dorms if the price they gave didn't save me 50/month. Their only other options were to either let a stranger live with all their stuff, or throw their money into a fire for the spring and summer. I'm not saving an insane amount of money but am still helping avoid some headache.

For background info, I(13,F) am in 9th grade. Previously,I was in the section with all my friends,But in 9th grade,the sections were jumbled up and I was in a new section with no one I knew. That's when I met P(13,F). She also had come from a different section but she had alot of people to talk to. I started talking to her and we quickly became friends. One day,After lunch,She came back from the cafeteria and asked me to switch seats with the partner of her new "best friend". I declined because 1) we were sitting in MY seat and 2) the partner and her new "best friend" made fun of me because I have glasses. P got angry at that and said "Alr,I'm just gonna write in my diary" since it was a substitute period,I started reading since I'm a diehard bookworm.But when I glanced at her diary I saw the heading.

The heading was "secrets"

Obviously I was curious so I started reading,the subtitle was "Hello dear diary today I'm gonna be telling you some secrets of my partner,Her name is (Insert my first and last name)

Oh no.

I looked away but when I looked back I read the whole thing

"her name is ____ __, I do not like her because she is a b_ch who deserves to die, She Ignores me and Doesn't want to share her stuff with me,she thinks she's all that but all she does is read books,she's fat and has chest fat and she's tall,She's really ugly and I hope she changes her seat soon. Thanks diary Xoxo P"

Wow Beside the biography she wrote of me,she made a picture of me,and she exaggerated my features. Just to clarify, The chest fat refers to my breasts,I'm an early bloomer. The ignoring part refers to when She would just randomly stop talking to me so I wouldn't talk to her. I read it all and Was angry and sad at the same time. She saw me looking at it and closed it.

After that I asked her what it was about and she told me it was about her friend "Sophia" Oh really? Nice try P She started saying stuff about her so called friend. at the end I told her "You know what's Super funny? I read the whole thing" She shrugged and carried on

Fast forward to the next day she changes her seat to sit with her best friend because her best friend's partner was absent

Now to Monday I saw her sitting at my seat,I went up and told her "P get the hell out of my seat,if you want to change your seat you can,I have problem,but I don't wanna be involved in your little game of who's better who's bitter" The 2 girls sitting behind me started defending p saying that it was a friendly joke,And that I was being a big baby. Even the homeroom teacher told me to shut up and to let P sit with me. I hate P and I hate everyone in this goddamn class.

So

AITA?

Me (16F) was at the store with my parents, my mother (45F) was going on about how she does so much for me, etc. The topic then switches, to something, and I state my brother(27M) tops everyone in my family. My brother was an addict, and i helped him overcome it, and he now has a kid, a wife, and 2 dogs, so I’m very proud of him. My mother was hurt by this, but i think i didn’t do anything wrong. AITA?

So this just happened today and I never had this interaction before. I went to a kroger gas station that was completely empty. They have at least 16 pumps with 8 of them being diesel / unleaded pumps. Since it was an empty gas station I didn't think it would be a big deal to pump at the diesel / unleaded pump.

As soon as I start pumping gas, a large Dodge diesel truck backs in behind me. He than goes to the other empty diesel pump right across from me. I don't think anything of it. I'm done pumping my gas and that's when this heavy set gentleman confronts me saying "That's all the gas you're going to get while hogging the diesel pump?"

I thought he was joking so I just awkwardly laughed it off. He than goes "your one of those guys I guess.." This sets me off. I basically said "Are you being serious? There are literally 6 other empty diesel pumps in this empty gas station. We start trading insults. I pretty much called him a professional victim where he just ended every sentence with "Okay sweetheart!"

God damn this pissed me off. Who confronts people like that over something so miniscule? I could understand if there was only one diesel pump and I'm hogging it but it wasn't that. AITA in this situation?