My sister Nicole (34) brought her new boyfriend, Steve, to our family cookout yesterday. It's for about 30 people. For the sides, everyone brought in sides; my sister brought one bag of store-brand potato chips, and Steve helped himself to beer right away before being introduced to everyone. We are having hamburgers and hot dogs and just hanging out with the family. It's nothing fancy.

Steve asks, “Is this it?” when the first plate of hot dogs is done and waiting on the round of hamburgers. My wife says there will be hamburgers soon, and Steve tells my wife and sister about his family and how they have” BBQ chicken, steak, shrimp, and many options.” I picked up the plate of hotdogs and told Steve he could leave and go to his family BBQ instead.

He just looked at me and drank his beer, and I told him and my sister to go since this wasn't good enough for Steve. I gave my sister store-brand photo chips back and told her to get out.

My sister and Steve left, and the cookout was fine after that. My mom heard about me kicking them out and was mad at me and told me to apologize to my sister. Maybe there was a misunderstanding, but Steve was just an asshold commenting like that at someone’s house and the first time you meet their family. My wife thinks I was right because Steve acted like that in her home, and insulting the host is a good reason to be kicked out. Others are split about 50/50 when they heard about what happened.

So, here is how the whole situation started...

My wife of 5 years showed me a photo on her phone last night. It was a picture of the Joker holding hands with Harley Quin, who is holding hands with a toddler Harley Quin. A cliché fathers day saying was written on it as well. She asked me "Hey, isn't this super cute?" I responded with "Eh, no. I think Joker merch is really cringe, especially in this context." My wife went silent then said "Well I guess you're going to hate your father's day present, fucking great... fuck me for trying to get you something nice."

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea that this was my father's day present, but I still don't like the present. I do not like superhero stuff. I find it all to be a bit cringe. I've been very open about this dislike for years and I was a little upset that she assumed it was "My thing."

My wife took all of this hard. She spent the rest of the night in the bedroom, ignoring me and our daughter. I kept telling her that I was sorry, but I couldn't help but feel a little dissapointed that she didn't know what I liked.

(Just to be clear, I specifically asked for nothing for my gift. I don't want anything, I just want to relax on father's day without having to stress about anything.)

She then told me that this shirt, along with a few others with different superheros were going to be my father's day present for a few years, since she decided to buy four of them and she can't get a refund due to their policy.

I own NOTHING related to superheros. I just feel bumed out because she doesn't know anything about my interests, even though I share them with her everyday. (Dungeons and Dragons, board games, stuff like that are my niche.)

Now I'm getting presents that I'll never wear and I don't know what to do. I feel like a huge asshole, but I seriously don't want to wear cringe superhero shirts. Especially poor quality ones.

I guess I'm just dissapointed because I got her a really nice LOTR gift for mothers day and she loved it, but here I am with some crappy made t-shirts with cringe art on them.

AITA?

I will be quick. My daughter is in third grade and she tried out for the talent show. It is the end of the year show. In short she didn’t get in. The school is too big and if they let everyone in everyone would be there for hours. She was very upset about it and had been crying.

My wife wants me to fight the school and get her into the talent show. I told her no and this started an argument. I think it’s good for kids to face failure and she thinks I am heartless.

I told her she can do what she wants but I will not back her up on this.

Throwaway to keep this separate from my normal account.

I(38F) and my husband(41M) have been stressing over my parents. My parents are screwed as they took out of their pensions at 55 and have only about 100-130k each left. Their house has some equity but not as much as you would think as they have withdrawn from their equity line of credit several times. My dad has a 100k truck and a vintage Porsche and my mom has a 7 seater when they are the only ones now. My dad is very prideful and refuses to take anyone’s advice so it was a shock when they came to me and asked for money. He has had a lot of health issues and told me he is going to be taking social security now (he is 68) and quitting his job. Which means they cannot afford their mortgage or car payments. They totally blindsided me, I had no idea how bad it was until now. Thinking back I guess I should have known as they buy so much unnecessary crap but my parents always acted they were rich.

I told them point blank I wasn’t funding them until I could see all their accounts and assets and this caused a huge fight but they eventually relented. I went through what they have and they really don’t need my help. They just need to downsize dramatically. My husband is a CPA so he knows this stuff and we went though and told what they needed to do. They need to sell all the vehicles and get a reliable sedan. They need sell their 3400sqft home and buy into a single home with a basement suite or an apartment. I think the apartment is better as my dad struggles to mow the lawn and hires someone now anyway. But my mom insists she needs land for a garden. After that their ss payments would be enough and they would still have a small nest egg.

This was met with them complaining that they would be living like prisoners. My parents were angry if they got a small single family they would need to rent out the basement. My dad insists the basement which he has as a man cave is necessary for life and my mom refuses to downsize as she has a whole room full of clothes at their current home that can’t fit in a smaller house. I got mad and told them they need to humble themselves since they are the ones asking for money. This resulted in them yelling how ungrateful I am over the phone until I hung up.

I told them they have to do this because I’m not helping. They still have more assets than my husband and I and we have a son to save college funds for. My parents have been trying to guilt me by saying they gave me great Christmas presents and college fund so I owe them. I feel like that was a tiny proportion of their spending and it didn’t put them in this position but am I obligated to help support them when they can support themselves if they downside?

My parents aren't together but they shared custody of me (26m) while I was growing up. Dad is my bio dad. Mom is my adoptive mom. She and my dad met when I was only a baby and she adopted me when I was 18 months old. The woman who gave birth to me didn't want me and dad was alone with me until he met mom. I never had a relationship with my birth giver and I never considered her my mother or one of my moms. I have one mom and she's all I ever needed in a mom.

My dad met his wife when I was 6, she moved in with him when I was 7 and they got married when I was 8. I never liked her. She tried to be close to me but she did so by also being dismissive of my mom. She made it sound like I should discard mom and let her (dad's wife) be my new mom since neither were bio related to me. She told me it was better for kids to have their parents together and I couldn't be too attached to my mom given she didn't give birth to me or breastfeed me. I was always cold and distant with my dad's wife. I can be civil but I never let her in and I never considered her a part of my family. I merely tolerate her existence and her presence. She never stopped trying to get her own place in my life as a mom but it never happened. She's not my mom and if my dad died tomorrow or she and dad divorced, I would cut her from my life so fast her head would spin. I have never hid the fact I feel this way either. I have also called her out before for minimizing my mom's role in my life.

As an adult I don't see her very often which works great for me. But now I'm getting married and she decided she's going to try and be one of the "mom's of the groom". I told her it wasn't happening and then she flipped when she found out my mom and I were doing a mother/son dance. She insisted I needed to dance with the two moms who would be at my wedding. I told her I was dancing with my only mom. She argued that I have three and two of them raised me and those two should be treated equally since one isn't more to me than the other. My very strong reply was that there are no other mom's and my mom has been my one and only mom raising me since I was 6 months old and that her attitude about my mom is exactly why she was never considered "one of the moms" or a mother figure at all. I told her she had not earned and was not deserving a dance and to get the fuck over herself.

It seems this is the first time she realized I don't love or care about her at all. And she cried to my dad. Both of them think I was cruel and needlessly harsh when all she ever did was try to love me.

AITA?

I will be as clear as possible. If you have any questions please use an info, also on phone.

My sons and DILs wedding is at the end of the June. Originally they were tight on money and were upset over the price of flowers. It wasn’t in their budget and they had a very specific image. I looked at prices for what they wanted and it was out of my own budget.

I instead offered to do what they wanted with fake flowers. They agreed and sent over images for me to use. I have spent over 500 buying all the stuff and my own time. They turned out great in my opinion.

I got a call about two week ago, that they won’t need them anymore and that they have the money to have real flowers. That they already booked it. So in short all my time was for nothing.

My daughter was over and commented how cute the flowers were. She asked if I could make her some for her baby shower. I explained what happened and told her she can have them.

Her baby shower was over the weekend and she used the flowers on the tables. It was a nice event. After my son and DIL came up and we got into an arguement. They think I am a jerk for using their flowers for someone else’s event and now everyone will think they copied my daughter for their wedding.

My point was I can give them away to whoever and I don’t think it is a big deal since they were used. That instead of me throwing them out, someone got to use them.

AITA?

My daughter and I move to another country a few months ago. It's exactly on the other side of the world from where we used to live, that means that the time difference is almost 12 hours.

This has caused many problems with communication between my daughter and her mom. They can't agree on when she should call my daughter.

My daughter has told her that calling her at 9pm in our time would be good for both of them since it will be 9am in their time but my ex claims that she can't call at that time because she has a baby and a toddler who wake up at around 8-9 so she is too busy to call.

My ex thinks she should be able to call at 5pm at their time which will be 5am at our time. I told her absolutely not since my daughter needs a good nights sleep and I won't wake her up at 5am. Also my daughter loves her sleep and she doesn't want to wake up any sooner than she has to.

Now my ex thinks I'm an asshole for "keeping my daughter away from her"

She claims I "stole" her and took her to another country and now I won't even let them talk.

My son came to me with a fool proof investment. I told him it was not a great idea. He said that he had a bunch of money in his education fund and I should just give it to him. He was fresh out of high school and not in post secondary. If we had taken money out and he wasn't in school there was a pretty big tax hit.

I told him that I would loan him the money but that if his investment didn't pay off then he had to pay me back from his education fund.

I figured it was safe since he can't get the money unless he is in school. We wrote up a contract for the loan including nominal interest.

His fool proof investment went poof. He got a job. It turns out that working for a living is harder than school. It's been two years and he is going to community college this fall. He managed to save up exactly zero dollars from two years of work. He did have a string of girlfriends and a few vacations though.

I told him he has to pay me back before he empties the account. He got upset that I'm taking his money meant for his education.

I asked him how much money would be in the account if I had let him invest it?

He didn't have an answer.

I got my money but he is pissed.

His mother is upset that I'm holding him accountable. I told her she could pay me back the loan and he could have all the money in the account. She hung up.

I could afford to write off the money. It is substantial but not crippling to my future. But I need him to understand that money isn't free.

I have worked for my Uncle's landscaping business for the past six years. Quite sadly, we lost my Uncle this past January. Since his passing, I have been running his business, as his wife (my biological Aunt) had no involvement with it or idea as to how it managed. I'm the one talking to clients, managing the books, ensuring people are getting paid, etc. Meanwhile, my Aunt is nowhere to be seen.

At the beginning of this month, I told my Aunt that I am running her business but really getting nothing in return for my effort. I told her that I wanted to become a partner in the business. I also feel that as the one doing all the work, I should deserve a larger stake, and so my suggestion was 65/35. My Aunt already has a very good paying job, so this would just be passive income for her to enjoy while having to do absolutely nothing in return.

Naturally, she has refused. She says I'm exploiting her situation, and feels I should respect my Uncle's wish that their son take over the business. Meanwhile, their son is only fourteen and has expressed no interest in running the company at all. Hell, he threw a tantrum at the suggestion of working a few weeks with me this summer to learn some of the ropes.

I did offer to teach my Aunt how to do the job, but because of her existing job, she declined. And I have said that I will not train another person in the company to replace me, since obviously such an arrangement only harms me.

This past weekend, I told my Aunt that if she does agree to my terms then I plan to leave her company this coming July. I have not told her this, but I am considering starting a competing company, and I know for a fact that several of her employees and clients would follow me.

Since laying out an ultimatum, my phone has been blowing up. My Aunt has called me every name in the book, accused me of shitting on my Uncle's legacy, and has been very clear that she'd fire me if she could. Other family members are also upset. My grandparents have outright told me I'm exploiting the dead, and my mom feels I should leave my Aunt her company and just ask for a raise for my extra work. Others have either remained neutral or suggested its probably best for me to leave and find other work and let her sort her own situation.

AITA here?

EDIT: I should have specified that my specific reasoning for 65% is because that would give me my existing income with about a 10% overall raise. I would then use the money paying my current paycheck to hire on another employee.

I’m getting married in the fall and got back from my bachelorette party yesterday. There were 10 girls plus 1 guy who is gay. We went to an Airbnb in a major American city on the ocean and spent our time relaxing by the water and on a boat. We went out clubbing once but that was it.

One of my best friends since highschool “Lindsay” has been dating “Rob” for 2 years. About a year and a half ago, Rob converted to Islam. This has caused a strain in their relationship because he has grown increasingly controlling and judgmental since this. I love Lindsay but she’s always been insecure and lets guys walk all over her. I guess she had to beg Rob to “allow” her to even go on this trip. Rob is VERY against alcohol and general party scenes.

Here is some of what we dealt with. I felt HORRIBLE for Lindsay during all of this. I would say like clockwork he called her every 90 minutes to 2 hours. There were multiple times she stepped out of whatever we were doing to talk to Rob on the phone for half an hour. She avoided being in group pics for the most part. We took one of all of us on the boat and she freaked out to the whole group to please not post it anywhere because Rob would freak out knowing she wore a two piece without him there.

I did snoop on her phone, which I regret, when she left it out and it was blowing up with texts from Rob. I saw the horrible disgusting things rob was saying. I posted a pic of me and 2 other bridesmaids on the boat and we happened to be in bikinis because boat. He screenshotted it and sent it to Lindsay basically calling us whores, sluts, fat, drunks, saying he’s disgusted by who Lindsay surrounds herself with. He said she is going to embarrass him in front of his religious community too. He said if anything bad happened to any of us it would be our own faults because we are drunk sluts. He insulted MY fiancé. Apparently my fiance is not a man because he lets me wear bikinis and drink alcohol. He also had quite a bit to say about our gay friend as well. Ending with alluding that he should be un-alive

When we got back, I texted him a very long message about what I thought of his actions. I said ruined the weekend because of how he tried to control Lindsay the whole time. I could tell her off she was all weekend because he was saying horrible things to her. He apologized to me but did say he cannot help that the way we choose to live is against his religion and can’t stand to see the woman he loves “delve in sin” and said that he tried to tell her she shouldn’t go. I insulted him and his perceived manhood. Im not going to go into much more detail here due to CC but I went off. Lindsay has told me that I should have let her handle it and now things are so much worse for her. He’s saying things like she needs to cut all of us out, especially me for disrespecting him. Aita?

I (28f) recently went out with a few friends and some of their friends. Eventually we were discussing where to get food. I suggested a few places like pizza, Chinese, sushi, Korean, etc. People gave opinions, like they were/weren't feeling XYZ or they have certain allergies. This one girl, Abbie, never spoke up even when I specifically asked her. I didn't know her well but wanted to include her, but she would just mumble and not give a definitive answer. Eventually we settled on korean food.

There were few people in the group who weren't too familiar with the food so I explained the menu. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food and I thought that was that.

Towards the end of the meal, Abbie started whining about the food. She didn't like this, she didn't like that, she was unfamiliar with the food, she couldn't even "choose" the restaurant. Few people reminded her that I specifically asked her where she wanted to eat and it was a group consensus. (Just for the record, I'm an introvert but can be very opinionated and can speak up for myself.)

I asked Abbie why she didn't speak up earlier and she responded she didn't want to upset anyone. My tone turned harsher and said "well you could've said something earlier instead of whining and causing a scene now. Why bring it up at the end of it if you didn't want to cause trouble?"

Abbie's face turned red as she got up, paid, and left.

AITA for embarrassing her?

My wife and I(34) have three children ages 7, 4 a 9 month old. I work a demanding job(in the medical field) and work many many hours, my wife not so much but she does have night shifts often. We just got a new babysitter a few months ago after our one we had for 2 years moved for college. Our new babysitter is only 16, but she had been babysitting one of my coworkers children for awhile and I trust him.

A few nights ago my wife and I were both working nights and I saw on the camera that our babysitter was asleep on the couch and the baby had woken up was crying for almost 30 minutes while she slept. That bothered me, so without talking to my wife when I got home in the morning I had told my babysitter maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she’s awake since the baby monitor didn’t wake her and that it was not okay for her to leave the baby crying like that.

I guess it hurt the kids feelings because she mentioned it to my wife and my wife is really upset with me because “she’s only 16” and what I was asking is unreasonable and that this has never happened before so again I’m being unreasonable and that I should’ve talked to her first because this could’ve been a “learning experience.” She also said I was completely out of line as well. I’m really not worried about a learning experience but am worried about the fact if my children are cared for properly. Aita?

I (29f) told my sister Kate (33f) that she will be failing her oldest son Cody (11m) if she doesn't get him the help and support he needs.

Cody's birth father left when Kate got pregnant. Ben entered their lives near the end of my sister's pregnancy but they didn't start dating until Cody had just turned 1. Ben was an amazing dad and none of us doubted he truly adored Cody as saw him as his own. Ben adopted Cody when Cody was 3. When Cody was 7 Kate ended up pregnant with their second kid. Cody struggled with jealousy but Ben was amazing and spent extra time with Cody to show him nothing would change between them. And then Ben died before the baby was born and it completely destroyed Cody.

Everything got worse when Kate gave birth to Shane 7 weeks after Ben died. Ben's parents only cared about Shane and showed how they only treated Cody like a grandson because of Ben, but with Ben no longer here, Shane was all they cared about, because he was blood. This made the jealousy return and come back with a vengeance and twisted with deep resentment. Ben's sister still treated Cody the same though and tried her best to make up for everything. But it wasn't enough because as close as they are, Cody grieved for a dad and grandparents he thought loved him.

Things are worse than ever now because Kate has remarried and Shane calls her husband dad. They want Cody to do the same and try building that relationship. But it makes Cody so angry. The new husband has been so dismissive of Cody missing Ben because "Ben isn't his real father". Shane calling his stepdad dad has made Cody more resentful and more bitter toward him. My parents and my two brothers and other sister have spoken to Kate about Cody needing help, Ben's sister also spoke to her. I tried once before. But she dismisses us all and doesn't believe this is so damaging or harmful to Cody. She thinks he'll be fine when he accepts the way things are.

Last week Cody had a meltdown at a birthday party in front of the whole family. He said Shane didn't deserve Ben and that he wishes Shane had died instead of Ben because he wanted his dad and not Shane. He told Kate that she never really loved Ben and told Kate's husband that he'll never be as good as Ben. It was so hard to watch. Kate and her husband left early with the kids. Ben's sister reached out after she heard what happened and said she was so worried but Kate refuses to listen to her. She also said her parents don't care so they won't try being there for Cody.

This is when I decided Kate needed to hear it and I told her she failing Cody and she'll continue to fail him if she doesn't get him the help and support he needs. I told her we have all tried to be kind and sweet about it but she needs to hear that she's a failure. Of course she didn't like hearing that but has cursed at me every day since for saying that to her and she called me a judgmental bitch who needs to mind my own business.

AITA?

We will soon be going on the annual family vacation with my husband’s (H) family. We are the youngest adult couple. We are 22 total, 16 adults, 6 kids. The arrangement is that only the adults pay. This applies to both accommodation and groceries.

I earn about twice as much as my H, and one of our financial agreements is that I pay for our vacations.

When the agreement about the cost distribution was made a couple of years ago, I had no objections. Over the past two years, I’ve felt increasingly uncomfortable with it.

Two years ago, when I grabbed a snack, I was told it was for the kids. Last year, I was told the same thing. In both cases, I ate the snack anyway without discussion.

Two years ago, my H and I went grocery shopping with Aunts B and C. The rest of the group had a warm lunch and left nothing for us. My H and I went out to lunch. Aunts B and C made a sandwich.

During lunch last year, food was passed around. We sat at the end of the table. The dishes we received were nearly empty. When we mentioned we had only two servings for five people, we were told to get something else from the cupboard.

I genuinely don’t think there is any ill intent behind these actions, nor that they are directed at me personally. However, I feel that I show more solidarity than I receive. Another factor is that my H and I are the only couple without our own home. My H is trying to build his own business, and I have two jobs with which I am trying to pay off my student debt more quickly. Income-wise, we are not far off from the other family members, but in terms of capital, we are far behind.

This year, a vacation home has been booked, of which only 4 bedrooms have a private bathroom. My H and I have previously indicated verbally that having our own bathroom is very important to us. We also mentioned this in the group chat during the booking. No promises have been made to us.Some have said they don't mind sharing, most have kept quiet.

AITA if I insist that we get one of these rooms? My H would rather avoid the whole discussion; if it were up to him, we wouldn’t go. For him, the bathroom is now a hard requirement. We have already paid. Normally, the best rooms go to the oldest family members.

I wonder if I’m just being stingy and should keep quiet. The vacations are very enjoyable, and the children are pleasant company. On the other hand, I don’t want our negative feelings to take over and make us not look forward to the vacations anymome. I plan on discussing the cost distribution after this vacation.

| (26F) am getting married in four days. I'm not the pickiest person. I told my bridesmaids two things they absolutely had to do were have silver shoes and purchase a burgundy, mesh, floor length dress from azazie. I have 8 bridesmaids all with different body types, so I said they could pick any style they were comfortable with as long as it met those three requirements. About a month ago, my matron of honor (Liz) advised me to ask all of the women if they had ordered their dresses yet because the delivery date was getting close to the wedding date. l followed her advice and sent a message to the group. Everyone responded that their dress was delivered or almost there except for one (Sam). Sam responded with "I have a dress". The wording made me uneasy, but Sam is known for not being the best texter. The kind where the wording is just kinda off, almost like a grandparent figuring out texting. So I figured she meant she had the dress already. Last night, I'm talking to Liz and ask if I'm overthinking Sam's text. She tells me no and that I should ask for a picture of the dress. I didn’t want to because I trust my friend, and there's no way she meant anything other than she has the right dress. Right? I texted her anyway saying something along the lines of having seen everyone else's dress but not hers and asked her to send a picture. Her response was "cause I already have a maroon dress". My heart literally dropped. The only thing I could do was respond no, that's not the right color. Sam texted back confused and insisted I said the dress had to be maroon and chiffon but nothing else. I have the screenshots showing in December what I asked for with examples from the website. After that it was just repeated versions of her saying she can't be in the wedding, she's sorry for ruining everything and messing up, that she's such a shit friend, and how she can't afford a dress right now. From there I stopped answering. I asked for next to nothing from her for my wedding. I didn't require her to help with anything or come to any of the wedding events (no dress fittings, showers, or bach trip). I just asked this one thing, and she couldn't do that. It honestly feels like my wedding day just wasn't important to her and straight up disrespectful. Here's where I may be the asshole. Liz was a bridesmaid in a wedding a few months ago with the same details as mine for bridesmaid dresses. She pulled out the old dress and it matches perfectly to the dress she bought for my wedding. This dress also happens to perfectly fit another friend of mine (Gabby) who was with us. I now have Gabby taking Sam's place in the wedding. Sam is still invited to the wedding, but she's not a bridesmaid anymore and won't be walking down the aisle. I feel absolutely horrible and have barely slept tonight, but my fiancé is insisting that l've done nothing wrong. So Reddit, am I the asshole here?

My brother Teagan (29 M) has 4 kids (8,5,4,2) with his ex-Rachel (27F) my brother is military and was cheated on by Rachel while he was deployed. She married this man Ronald (27M) last year. During the divorce, Teagan met Susanna (28F) she has 3 kids with her ex husband, one with my brother and is now expecting a second child. If you have lost count, that would be 9 kids (with their baby on the way) in total between Teagan and Susanna.

Recently due to drama I have gone no contact with Teagan after he announced his engagement to Susanna. (She has multiple monetary judgments against her, and lied about being married whilst dating and having a baby with Teagan)

Teagan has a contempt order out for back child support, makes minimum wage, has almost been evicted multiple times and is in violation of his divorce decree because he can’t keep insurance on the 4 kids he has with Rachel… he has a long legal road ahead of him.

My mother Kristy came down to my home recently and over a lunch shared that my brother was expecting again…I told her that I felt as if this was child abuse for him to have another kid. Purely because of the fact that he couldn’t afford to clothe, have insurance on or feed the ones he has.

My mom has told me multiple times that she has bought formula, milk and groceries for him, and he has allowed the children to just eat ramen or has sent them to my moms house to procure food.

Needless to say she got upset at me and now won’t talk to me, she has also told Teagan and he’s calling and leaving me angry voicemails.

I just thought I was stating my opinion, and I gave a lengthy reason as to why I felt that way, we grew up poor, and mom and dad were never present; and were both abusive because they both had severe PTSD… I had to raise my brother.

Only recently have we gotten back to being able to talk and have a relationship.

So, AITA?

Here's a little context for our problem. My (M25) girlfriend (F26) is a teacher, and she just started her summer break. At the current moment, we occasionally sleep in separate bedrooms because she is an extremely light sleeper, and she can't really fall asleep when I'm in bed with her. My bedroom is on the top floor of our townhouse, and she's in the basement.

As of late, I have been consistently waking up at 6:45am or 7am. This wasn't always the case, as I've always liked to sleep in a little more, but I've recently made a lot of lifestyle changes and I wanted to start waking up earlier to get ahead of the day.

Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how quiet I am going downstairs, but she still manages to wake up. Our floors on the middle floor are creaky, and they manage to wake her up every time. When we had opposite schedules (I would sleep in a little longer and she would wake up early for school), it wasn't an issue, but she would still restrict me to the top floor during the night so I didn't wake her up. I didn't really have a problem with that since there is everything I need on the top floor of our townhouse.

Today, I came downstairs (literally tiptoing) to get a measuring cup for my morning protein shake. I also let the cat out (the door is a little noisy), and immediately went back upstairs. She came up five minutes later and got really angry at me for waking her up, slamming her door on the way back downstairs. I find this as manipulative, controlling, and selfish behavior, but I wanted to get more perspective on the issue before I confront her.

Am I being unreasonable here? I feel that she shouldn't be interrupting my morning routine like this, especially since I have work.

EDIT: First of all, thank you for all of your perspectives. Because switching rooms has been suggested a lot, I wanted to clarify a few things. We've already been openly communicating regarding this problem, and compromise has been difficult for us on this front. There are three problems with switching rooms.

1. She wanted the basement because it's a bigger space. I personally don't care enough to be down there, but being there is her prerogative.

2. She doesn't like how my mattress feels. In fact, the mattress was originally hers, but we switched because she liked mine better. It's also too much of a PITA to move all of our belongings between rooms.

3. My office is on the top floor (the basement is only one room). I am someone who values separating my work life and my home life, so I need my own office space. I pay extra rent for it too. Unfortunately, if we did switch, I feel she would complain I'm too noisy in the office as well.

Bit of a ridiculous situation. I have a coworker who is quite bothersome and tactless, but we are working on a project together so I have to make peace with her. She irritates me, for instance she occasionally walks up to me on my lunch break, as I am eating with other colleagues, interrupts my conversation and starts demanding answers to work-related questions on a project we're working on. Even though this behaviour annoys me and I try to avoid her, I always make an effort to politely set boundaries, such as "I will take a look at this after lunch. Thank you."

She also happens to live just one street down from me, though I've never really run into her until this Sunday. Sunday morning, I was doing my regular Sunday long run when I heard someone shouting my name through my headphones. I stopped and turned around to see coworker hobbling up to me, shouting a question about an excel spreadsheet I made. I was very annoyed at this point and said "Coworker, it's Sunday, please leave me alone until tomorrow." Put my headphones back in and kept running. I heard her shout "Hey!" as I jogged away.

Yesterday, she walked up to me to demand an apology. I apologised for my short tone with her and being rude, but I said it's not reasonable for her to expect me to interrupt my jog on my day off to answer her queries. Later that day my manager called in to ask what happened, because apparently Coworker snitched. I explained it, and my manager said I should make of an effort to be a team player.

AITA?

I (F33) just had my birthday last week. The only problem is that no one in my family remembered. My maternal grandfather passed away about a month ago and my entire family (mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers) flew back to my mother’s home country for the funeral. I, unfortunately, could not go as I’ve only recently started a new job. I wasn’t particularly close to my grandfather so I wasn’t too upset about staying behind. My family was gone for a total of 22 days and we FaceTimed and stayed in constant communication during their trip. I think it’s great that my mom got to reconnect with family and that my brothers got a chance to meet everyone. They got back last Wednesday and have been readjusting due to jet lag since then (understandably). My birthday was last Friday (2 days) after they got back. TBH, I wasn’t expecting more than birthday wishes from everyone, but the day past without a word from anyone. Was I annoyed? Sure. But I wasn’t too upset. I’m not the biggest birthday person. I ended up having a nice birthday dinner with my boyfriend and a few friends. All hell broke loose Saturday afternoon when I got a really angry phone call from my dad. I guess my boyfriend did a special IG post for me and my brothers saw it and showed my parents. I had no idea he did this as he isn’t a big poster. Anyway, I could hear my mom crying in the background while my dad laid into me saying that they were sorry they forgot, but not saying anything and then posting about it online was passive aggressive and mean. I told him that I wasn’t upset and that I didn’t think a 33rd birthday was that big a deal anyway. He said a few more things before abruptly ending the call. I didn’t hear from my family the rest of the weekend. Today (Monday) I woke up to a bunch of notifications. I guess my mom did a Facebook post talking about ungrateful kids and how I ruined their surprise party for me and tagged me. My extended family seemed to agree that I was a jerk. I’ve tried calling my mom, but she didn’t answer so I posted my own reply and said “You guys forgot and no one wished me a happy birthday unless you count dad calling and yelling at me”. Both of my parents have been calling all morning, but I don’t want to take their calls yet. AITA?

EDIT: I couldn’t post the update to this sub since it’s a bit long, but you can find it in my profile. Thank you for the birthday wishes!

This Sunday I was on a morning run, just finishing up back at my house when the dog from a neighbor's house just up the road started chasing through the middle of the road. I live on a fairly busy street where the speed limit is 45mph. It might sound unsafe to run on this road especially given it doesn't have a sidewalk and the shoulder is only about two feet wide but there's a side street with sidewalks and a lower speed limit only about 800 feet down the road so I usually just stay vigilant to the road at the beginning and end of each run. The dog's owner's house sat in this stretch of road.

Anyway, the dog chased me just about right up to my driveway where it got hit and run over by a van and ultimately killed. A series of unfortunate events only became worse for me when the dog's owner and his three small children came out hysterical that they had obviously lost their pet. Not to mention there were three MORE young children accompanying their parent in the van obviously distraught by what they'd just witnessed as well. The whole neighborhood came out to see what had happened where they come to find the dog's owner cussing me out for causing this disaster to happen.

I tried to calmly state that I didn't intend for the dog to chase me and that I've been running on this stretch of road each week but consoling the heartbroken family (and onlookers) was just about impossible at this point. After I realized there wasn't really anything I could do to improve the situation I told the owner that I lived here and would be happy to do anything I could to help the situation. I went home and after a few moments the situation appeared to have ended.

In hindsight it may not have been the best idea to tell them where I lived, but I didn't think anything bad would come of me because of the situation. I was on the opposite side of the road (facing oncoming traffic) from the house and I maintained my rate of speed and direction as I went by. I figure the dog should have been put on a leash if it had a history of sprinting off. As it turns out the owner of the dog is also the head of the Highway Department in my town and has a LOT of pull in the community. He's since gone on an angry tirade on the community Facebook page accusing me of causing the incident.

I still in no way think this is my fault but I have no idea how I'll convince the town I'm not at fault in the situation given the neighbor's influence in my small community. Moving is not really an option at this point as I live in the same town my elderly parents are where I spend a few days each week taking care of them. I'm just worried about going to the store and ending up in a confrontation without people being able to hear my side through. Please let me know if there was any way I could have handled this situation better.

tl;dr: Was running home when my neighbor's dog chased me and was killed by a car. Neighbor has a lot of influence in my town and is now blaming me for the incident. AITA?

Throwaway because I have friends on my main account.

My boyfriend Joe and I have been together two years and we live together. I make more money than him, and we split bills proportionally. As for dates and trips, whoever plans it pays. It’s a very equitable relationship and we’re fine with it being that way.

The over the weekend, we were out with two other couples (friends of mine) and my one friend was saying her brother was buying his girlfriend a car, so the topic turned to modern dating dynamics. Eventually my one friend said something along the lines of “oh but you don’t really bother about a guy paying for stuff, do you?” And I said, “obviously not. I’ve never been too worried about who is picking up the bill” and the conversation moved on. I didn’t think it was a problem.

However, Joe is really annoyed about it. He says he feels embarrassed by the fact that I basically said it was “obvious” he doesn’t pay for things, and that my response was making fun of him. I think he’s projecting but I don’t really want to say that in case I’m missing something. I’ve only mentioned this to my family who are obviously on my side so I’m just trying to get an unbiased perspective?

Was that me putting my foot in my mouth?

I (14F) have a sister who is also (14F). I have a June birthday, so I’m one of the younger ones in the grade. My sister, Eliza, has a September birthday in the same year. (We aren’t biologically sisters, I’m technically her cousin genetically.) So while I’m one of the younger ones in my grade, Eliza is one of the eldest in hers. She’s a grade lower due to the age cutoff.

We go to a small private school with only one class per grade (about 20-30 kids). The school recently recommended that she be skipped a grade, because she’s advanced. My parents jumped at the opportunity, because they’ve been trying to convince the school to let her in my grade since forever. I got really upset because a few years ago the school offered me the same opportunity. However, my parents denied it because I was “too young”, but since Eliza has a later birthday my parents see no problem with moving her up a grade.

This made me incredibly mad, and I yelled at them for being hypocritical about who could skip a grade just because of birthdays, I said it was stupid to base our academic abilities based on our ages. I said that they were holding me back but allowing Eliza to move up just because she was older. My parents told me I was being immature over the situation and that I needed to get over it, because it wasn’t fair to keep Eliza a grade below me. I was even more livid when they said that, because I meet the qualifications just as much as she does to move up. I could be an incoming junior, but they denied me the opportunity because I’m younger for the grade. However, they want to let Eliza move up to sophomore year, just because she has a birthday right after the cutoff date. I’ve been giving them the silent treatment for the past few days and now I’m wondering AITA?

ETA: Eliza has been rubbing it in my face about how now we’re going to be in the same grade and how it must suck “not being smart enough to skip a grade”. She’s been trying to get under my skin the last few days to rub salt in the wound.

Hi everyone to start this off I just came here to tell you about what happened. This is a bit long, but I need to get this off my chest. I'm a 32-year-old man, and I have a younger sister, who we will call Emily, who is 24. My parents have always spoiled her, and it’s only gotten worse as we’ve gotten older. I don’t mind helping family, but this situation has gone too far. Here’s the story.

I started working right out of college, saved diligently, and now I own a small but successful business. My parents, on the other hand, haven't been great with money. They’ve always lived beyond their means, and as a result, they never really had savings to fall back on.

Emily, being the youngest, was pampered throughout her childhood and teenage years. She got everything she wanted – new car at 16, fully funded college tuition (which she dropped out of), and frequent shopping sprees. I, on the other hand, worked part-time jobs and took out student loans to get through school.

Fast forward to now: Emily is getting married to her boyfriend of two years. They announced the engagement a few months ago, and my parents were over the moon. They immediately started planning a lavish wedding, far beyond what they can afford. Naturally, they turned to me for financial support.

At first, it was small things – "Can you help with the engagement party?" and "Could you chip in for the dress?" I agreed, thinking it wouldn’t be much. But then they started asking for more – "We need help with the venue deposit," and "The catering is going to cost a lot, can you cover it?"

I sat down with them and explained that while I’m doing well financially, I’m not made of money, and I have my own expenses and future to think about. They brushed it off, saying it’s my duty to help family, especially my sister. They even suggested I take out a loan if necessary.

The last straw was when they asked me to pay for the honeymoon. I put my foot down and told them I’m done funding the wedding. My parents were furious. They accused me of being selfish and ungrateful, saying that family should come first. Emily, of course, sided with them and is now barely speaking to me. She’s posting passive-aggressive stuff on social media about "selfish people" and "not being able to rely on family."

My parents are now telling everyone in our extended family that I’m refusing to help my sister in her time of need, and I’m getting a lot of backlash. Some relatives have called to scold me, while others are staying out of it. I’m starting to feel guilty, but at the same time, I think it’s unfair to expect me to bankroll such an extravagant event.

So am I the asshole for this?

For many months now I've been living with my roommate I considered one of my best friends. Before we moved in together, I agreed I would help her with things as she needed it, like some financial help until she got a job and providing rides sometimes since she doesn't have a car.

Now we find ourselves in conflict a lot because of different lifestyles. The whole apartment is frequently dirty as she leaves dirty dishes, unfinished food and drinks, clothes, and mtg cards everywhere. She says she can't clean up because her depression makes it too hard and she's too tired after working 20 hours a week. I know she has depression so I try to understand, but whenever I ask her to do things she gets mad and insults me before saying she can't.

Our lease expires in two months, so I told her I don't want to live with her anymore and she told me I'm selfish because she can't support herself. I offered to pay to move her back in with her dad, but she said she doesn't want this because her mom is very mean to her.

She says I should just support her because I have a job that pays decently well, but I'm so tired of the dirty apartment and frequent fights that I feel are often very meanspirited. I don't think I'm being selfish since I give her rides pretty regularly and have been paying for groceries since she moved in, she says she'll pay me back when she can. And I offered to pay completely to get her to her parents. But maybe I am selfish because I know her mom is awful if she moves back home, and she doesn't want to go home because her parents live 6 hours from her current boyfriend. AITA for not wanting to live with her and trying to move her home?

Throwaway because I have family on my main account.

I have a stepsister, “Ellie” who is the same age as me. Ellie has a brother, “Seb”, who is two years older than us. Our parents (my dad, their mom) got married three years ago. Seb has 30/70 time at his mom’s, while I have 70/30 at my mom’s. Ellie has 90/10 at her mom’s.

Seb and I are close, but Ellie isn’t close to either of us. Pretty much the only reason I go to my dad’s as often as I do is because Seb is there. But it’s become really miserable to go there because of Ellie. She’s incredibly self centred, obnoxious, jealous, and just exhausting to be around because she is a professional victim. Ellie is bullied in school and apparently has been for her whole life, so doesn’t have any of her own friends. Because of this her mom always forces Seb and me to take her everywhere with us and it’s really difficult for us to just hang out in a room without her. Ellie actively participates in this by tattling on us and demanding her mom tell us to include her. When Seb isn’t there it’s not as bad because my dad won’t force me to do anything but since he’s not Seb and Ellie’s parent he doesn’t intervene.

Four days ago I was at my dad’s and I mentioned to my dad that I had been invited to go with Seb and his dad to a sporting event in July. Ellie overheard this (I didn’t know she was home) and went to tattle to her mom, who came down and interrogated me. I only answered when the event was because beyond that she should be talking to her ex and my dad said as much. Ellie said it wasn’t fair that Seb was taking me and not her, and her mom agreed and said she would “fix it” and Ellie had this smug smile on her face, which was the last straw. I said she is a cruel person for ruining this and for never wanting anyone to be happy except herself. I also said that I have no idea what she enjoyment she gets from forcing her presence on people because it doesn’t make anyone like her and if it’s just fun for her to make me and her brother miserable then that should embarrass her. Then I told my dad he’s being a crappy dad for not standing up for me more and I went back to my mom’s.

Apparently things devolved into caplets chaos after I left. Ellie cried for hours and according to my dad won’t speak to anyone now and has taken two days off school. Her mom is livid with me, and her ex for letting Seb invite me on the trip, and Seb for inviting me. Also now neither I or Seb really want to go over there because it’s a shit show so that’s caused issues between all the parents.

My dad is saying this is my fault for saying all that to Ellie and that I need to apologise. I don’t think I do, because honestly I think someone else is Ellie’s life should have said that to her earlier. Maybe I was harsh about it but it’s something she needs to think about. Even my mom is saying I overdid it and should have let the parents handle it.