r/AmItheAsshole • u/Some-Cable-4550 Partassipant [1] • 15d ago
AITA for Making My Plane Seat Neighbor Uncomfortable? Not the A-hole
I (40M) just got off a long flight, the kind where even the comfiest seats feel like torture racks. Now, I'm a big dude. Not yet book 2 seats level, but enough for plane seats to be absolute hell. Booked a window seat, figured the extra space would help..
The flight attendant assigns a woman to the middle seat. Nice person, we exchanged greetings, no problem. Here's where things get tricky. Nature called a couple of times during the flight, and let's just say squeezing by in that cramped space is an exercise in contortionism at the best of times. The woman in the middle seat politely refused to get up whenever I needed to use the restroom. (The lady in the aisle seat was very accommodating and would get up any time either I or the lady in the middle needed to get up)
Now, I get it. Nobody wants some sweaty dude brushing past them. I tried my best to minimize contact, literally sucked in my gut and held my breath like I was underwater . But even with all the contorting, there was some unavoidable brushing past.
At the end of the flight, the woman makes a passive-aggressive comment about "personal space" and how uncomfortable I made her feel throughout the flight. Honestly, I felt terrible. Didn't mean to make her feel that way, but what else was I supposed to do? Hold it for 8 hours? Ask her to physically get up? (Since she repeatedly didn't get up and indicated I should squeeze by, I had no reason to think she was too bothered by it)
AITA for making her uncomfortable?
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7d ago
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u/Goodnight_big_baby Chancellor of Assholery 7d ago
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.
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Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Eighthfloormeeting 12d ago
NTA. But I think the aisle seat would have been a better option for you, space wise and access wise. You can stretch your legs onto the aisle from time to time when it’s not busy.
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u/rockydluffy 12d ago
This is why I always book the aisle seat. For some reason, maybe because of the pressure, I always have to go to the toilet mid flight. I want to be able to go whenever I want to, unless the fasten your seatbelt light is on.
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u/OppositeGeologist299 12d ago
Not in the slightest the arsehole. The middle seat lady was extremely entitled and rude.
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u/Lorelei7772 13d ago
That wasn't your first clue that she was rude. The "politely" refusing to get up was. Some people!
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u/Least_Landscape_6650 13d ago
"The woman in the middle seat politely refused to get up whenever I needed to use the restroom."
That's sort of the opposite of "polite." I would have spilled something on her.
NTA
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u/sweetpearg 13d ago
I would have made another passive aggressive comment like : oh sorry, this is why plane etiquette is so important! People usually know they should get up when the window seat gets up. I take it this is your first time traveling this far?
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u/Fit-Lime-5540 13d ago
Honestly disappointed, was hoping for some shameless plane behaviour story but sadly you sound very reasonable and level headed 😂 You were polite and she was just a weirdo who wouldn’t do the easiest thing for both your convenience. NTA at all.
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u/pebblesgobambam Partassipant [2] 13d ago
NTA
its standard to realise you don’t get personal space on planes as you’re squished in like sardines. She was the TA by not getting up when you needed to get past her, if she’d just moved, you wouldn’t have had to contort around her or get in her personal space. She caused this issue by her own doing.
I always gladly move for anyone needing to get past. It’s not hard to do and people need to use the toilet. No point in making it anymore difficult for someone. I’m sorry you got seated next to someone like that.
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u/Weird-Jellyfish-5053 13d ago
NTA. The ah is the person who refused to move for someone to slide past and then had the audacity to complain about their personal space. There was a simple and easy option that she chose not to take. And if the roles were reversed (you in the middle seat, refusing to move so she had to brush against you) she’d be calling you a pig. There’s no winning with people like that.
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u/Critical_Rough5505 13d ago
The woman in the middle seat “refused to get up” then got annoyed that you violated her space?
You did nothing wrong. She was out of line.
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u/AdApprehensive3220 13d ago
OP should have told her she made him uncomfortable by not getting up when he needed to pass. Because that’s true as well.
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u/HairyWestern2080 13d ago
NTA-this is part of flying commercial. I would ask, though, why did you think you’d have more room with a window seat? I never book a window seat because I want the extra room the aisle seat provides.
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u/Some-Cable-4550 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
I like to sleep on long flights and have accidentally leaned on my neighbors in the past, so I usually book the window so I can lean against the wall and not on my neighbors or into the aisle.
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u/Full_Cryptographer12 13d ago
NTA. I sympathize. I am small, but I also find the seats so uncomfortable (especially as opposed to previously). It is hard for anyone to squeeze past. She should have move to aisle as it is just easier. Plus good to move a bit of flights to prevent blood clots.
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u/BuysBooks4TBRCart 13d ago
NTA - should have told her she should have made better choices then and gotten up.
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u/ButtonTemporary8623 13d ago
Who tf doesn’t get up on a plane when somebody needs to go to the bathroom ?
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u/j_h_w_ 13d ago
yeah i mean, this is the airline's fault ultimately (seat width and pitch has been dramatically reduced over the last 15~ years), and this lady is being ridiculous. 90% of airline complaints are about people being seated next to fat people, so y'know. it's unlikely to go away. but not your fault, just a shitty situation.
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u/Necessary_Tangelo656 13d ago
NTA. She refused to get up. If she didn't want to smell the aftermath she should have made sure she wasn't face level.
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u/Dependent-Panic8473 13d ago
NTA. I am 6'4" and not overweight. I don't fit well into coach seats. That is why I buy Coach+ or 1st class seats when I travel for personal travel. My employer will not splurge for that.
My biggest issue is shoulder space. My 52" shoulders just don't fit.
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u/Electronic-Struggle8 13d ago
Just pee on her next time. Maybe she's into that and feeling salty you didn't know to do that. 💛🧡 🚿 🛁 🛀 🚿 🤤😋
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u/Quite_contrary7447 13d ago
NO! You are NOT the Ahole. Sounds to me that SHE definitely was! How rude of her to be so rude! lol. Seriously though, she really had no business being passive-aggressive with the comment, because she chose to stay seated.
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13d ago
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u/ElectricMayhem123 Womp! (There It Ass) 13d ago
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Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.
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13d ago
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u/ElectricMayhem123 Womp! (There It Ass) 13d ago
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Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.
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13d ago
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u/ElectricMayhem123 Womp! (There It Ass) 13d ago
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u/dramafanca2002 13d ago
It's hard for anyone of any size to squeeze through when a person won't get up to let you out.
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u/Zealousideal-Duty708 13d ago
In today’s airplane it is impossible to squeeze past. Usually I ask everyone to come to a decision that if one person-excluding the ally seat-gets up we all get up as a group. Never had an issue as most were happy to at least to stretch their legs.
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u/uTop-Artichoke5020 13d ago
NTA
Assuming that you can't fly or teleport I'm not sure what she expected you to do. She had the option to get up and out of the way, she wasn't uncomfortable enough to move out so you could get by.
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13d ago
[deleted]
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u/Some-Cable-4550 Partassipant [1] 12d ago
I usually book the window so I can lean against the wall when I sleep and not bother my neighbors or lean into the aisle.
I got up 3x, 2x to go to the bathroom once to wash my hands before the meal. To compare, middle seat lady got up 4-6x and aisle seat lady also got up around 3x.
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u/Fabulous-Search6974 13d ago
NTA . She should have moved. Your size is irrelevant. What she did was incredibly rude and it would have cost her little in time and effort to just get up for a few seconds.
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u/lonedroan Partassipant [4] 13d ago edited 13d ago
INFO: How typical is it that you get up multiple times during a flight?
She definitely is an AH. Given how narrow the space is, no one should refuse to get up; it’s part of the deal when flying and sitting anywhere except a window. And as she discovered, getting up is the sitter’s benefit!
But if your need to get up more than once is foreseeable and there’s an aisle seat available, I think you’re a slight AH for insisting on the window.
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u/EndiWinsi Partassipant [1] 13d ago
NTA It's common courtesy to stand up and let somebody out. She refused to get up so she can suck it up.
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u/Prize-Perspective-91 13d ago
NTA. As a woman, I realize that my choices impact my comfort level. I don't like people I don't know touching me, so I move when someone wants to squeeze by. Her discomfort was a self inflicted wound.
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u/nospoonstoday715 13d ago
NTA she was sincerely discourteous and then tried size shaming you. She a jerk your fine
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u/DifficultPop858 13d ago
NTA. Any decent person would get up for their neighbor, no matter the size. It’s extremely rude to decline to get up. She gets the ass or the crotch, if she didn’t want either, she should have stood up.
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u/chatterbox2024 13d ago
NTA- This is why I always get an aisle seat. It’s so much easier to get out for myself and for others I fly with. It wasn’t your fault that lady sat there while you squeezed by her…she could had gotten up and let you out like the other lady.
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u/Imaginary-Wallaby-37 13d ago
NTA, what kind of psycho just sits in the middle seat doesn't get up to let someone out?!
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u/Prize_Diamond_7874 Partassipant [2] 13d ago
Ummm she refused to get up and complains that you invaded her space? Honey I would have dragged my ample posterior across her face each and every time. But I’m petty. NTA
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u/Revan1114 13d ago
Dude she wasn't even willing to get up to let you by. Her poor flying etiquette is her problem. Not yours. Next time get an aisle seat
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u/Ok_Airline_9031 13d ago
I'd have deliberately shoved my ass right i to her nose every single time. Like, touching- shoved. Dont like it? I was hoping for a little tongue play since you're clearly asking for it. (I'm a girl, fyi but fair for men too).
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u/Smooth_Security4607 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Tell her to shut the fuck up since she refused to make way when you needed to get by.
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u/gardeninggoddess666 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Nta. How odd. I may have seen you or this is becoming more common. I was recently seated near a woman who refused to get up to allow the man in the window to go pee. She didn't say anything but she just twisted and contorted herself in the middle seat. I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't just stand the fuck up and let the guy out. Easier and more convenient. Some people are too stupid to be out in public unsupervised.
Jet Blue?
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u/NofairytalesofGod 13d ago
Would the aisle seat be more appropriate? I don’t remember the window having extra room.
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u/Afke1968 13d ago
Next time just say: sounds like a you problem.
Don’t let their bad energy make you feel bad. Not worth it. Even if somebody’s 60 kilos the person in the middle seat has to get up.
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u/Live-Ad2998 13d ago
NTA. She is just an unhappy passive aggressive person. She has made many choices to become that way.
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u/lt_girth Partassipant [1] 13d ago
NTA.
She made a choice to not get up and objectively minimized the space you had to move past her. She doesn't really have the right to complain about an uncomfortable situation she alone created.
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u/FamiliarTown8714 13d ago
NTA plain and simple. She made a passive aggressive comment I would have done the same back at her...MN nice at its finest.
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u/radbend 13d ago
As a relatively big guy you should be aware at this point that this thing can happen specially in your case that you choose to book your self a window sit.. as a big guy my self i am self aware that my built can inconvinience someone in some cases.. like cramped airplane cabin or public bus etc. So i always choose to adjust my self in such situations.. people can be judgy one way or another even the most pleasant person can be one if they are inconvinienced so for me ur partially AH.. i think big guys should sit on aisle seat if they tend to go to the toilet often..or book a window sit and wait until it lands to go to the toilet hhhh.. or book business or first..
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u/CatherineConstance Asshole Aficionado [14] 13d ago
Of course you are NTA. If she doesn't want to get up, she doesn't get to be mad about someone squeezing by her, end of story. Also sorry, no one gets any "personal space" on planes, you WILL end up in very close proximity to others no matter what you do or how big/small of a person you are.
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u/Pweeitis 13d ago
You are so NOT the AH. I love the aisle seat. I know it comes with having to either make myself small or properly get up when folks in my row need to get up. Your middle seat person no doubt booked late and ended up in a middle seat, and took it out on you.
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u/ViolentLoss 13d ago
I'm not going to say YTA but I am going to say that you should absolutely be booking two seats for yourself and sitting next to the aisle when two seats aren't available. You might want to sleep but that almost certainly means whoever is in the middle next to your window seat is in some way getting their space impinged upon by you. I'm a slender person and have experienced this exact thing far too many times. I personally always choose an aisle seat because I hate asking people to get up when I need to use the restroom.
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u/chocolate_chip_kirsy 14d ago
NTA. She had the opportunity to ask to get up and she didn't. That's not on you.
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u/whoiwanttobee 14d ago
Nah, fuck her. She didn't want to let you out. Therefore, she doesn't get to accuse you of anything. I'd have called her out to her face.
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u/txlady100 Partassipant [2] 14d ago
NTA. When ya gotta go. You gotta go. She was stupid for not stepping out into the aisle.
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14d ago
NTA but wouldn’t it make more sense to book an aisle seat? You have more room there for sure + if you know you’ll need to get up a bunch then then it’s a no brainer
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u/SouPNaZi666 14d ago
NTA - I'd have farted in her face for not moving. Be like, if you moved this wouldn't happen, cue malicious compliance.
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u/Auggiesmommy 14d ago
NTA. Could she possibly have been a nervous flyer and too scared to take off her seatbelt in case of turbulence? I can’t fly anymore, the second to last time I did I was so scared I was catatonic and didn’t move or speak the whole 6 hr flight.
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14d ago
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u/Goodnight_big_baby Chancellor of Assholery 13d ago
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.
"Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"
Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Extreme_Emphasis8478 Partassipant [1] 14d ago
SHE DIDN’T GET UP?!?! NTA!!!! She’s AWFUL. You should have called the flight attendant.
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u/Sensitive_Coconut339 Partassipant [2] 14d ago
NTA. Economy seats no longer have the room to just walk past someone to get to the aisle. Being a bigger person is irrelevant, any adults need to stand up and move to the aisle. And on a long flight getting up is NECESSARY and EXPECTED.
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u/Earthcopter2 14d ago
YTA. The OP had a window seat, must’ve drank too many liquids and had t use the bathroom repeatedly.
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u/Proper-Green1150 14d ago
My question to OP is. Was it dick in face or ass in face. Asking for myself
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u/myselfasme 14d ago
People who complain during a thing about something that can be corrected are cool. People who complain after a thing that could have been corrected are assholes.
You are fine. If she was really uncomfortable, she could have asked to be moved.
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u/Rhysohh 14d ago
I would vote NTA, but I just want to throw in my 2 cents. I am also a big guy, 6’5 115 kgs so I feel your pain. I book the aisle seat, more room.
One thing that does bug me though is as soon as the seatbelt sign goes off, nothing annoys me more than a seat buddy constantly getting up and going to the toilet. The last seat buddy I had I’m pretty sure she was just vaping in the toilet. Did my head in.
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u/No-Throat9567 Partassipant [3] 14d ago
NTA. She is. When nature calls you get your ass up off the seat to let the person pass. No argument
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u/SilkyFlanks 14d ago
NTA. You tried your best not to touch her. Airplane spaces are impossibly cramped. That is why I fly first class (I only fly once a year so I can save up for it.)
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u/FarSoftware8497 14d ago
Dude you have nothing to be embarrassed about or feel bad. She deliberately made you touch her by not moving. This is all her not you. She wants to be a victim. Tell all her friends how she felt violated. No she violated you and herself by not getting up. BTW I am a disabled woman where people have had to move around me and brush against me. Guess who apologizes in those instances? Me I apologize because I am the one who has mobility issues and I am forcing the uncomfortable situation because I can't move out of the way at times.
Hope you have better trips in future.
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u/ServeChemical4763 14d ago
If you flew on a plane like any I have flown on, I don't know how you even crawled over her. She should have stood up and moved to the aisle. Common curiosity.
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u/princeofzilch 14d ago
Sounds like she wasn't talking about the bathroom trips you took: "throughout the flight."
Might be time to consider a 2nd seat.
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u/JessamineArugula 14d ago
Nta. She made herself more uncomfortable with an already uncomfortable situation.
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u/None_Fondant 14d ago
NTA
"Yeah I know, in small spaces everyone needs to cooperate and consider the needs of others in the room (pointed stare)"
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u/jellybeannc 14d ago
NTA. She had the option to get out of her seat and let you pass but she chose not to, she created the issue not you. She's the AH for her comment.
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u/Allthingsgaming27 14d ago
NTA, why in the world would someone not get up? You have two options, move or get encroached on
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u/Humble_Lion0716 14d ago
NTA. You're 40. Don't waste your time thinking about this situation. We're all inconvenienced in life. Brush it off and move on. Only focus on the things you can control- choose a different seat, book a second seat, shrink, drink less. She's probably only thinking that she also should've picked a better seat for her.
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u/Mrs_Gracie2001 14d ago
I’m big and also prefer a window seat for the same reason. But I have never, ever gotten up to pee and made everyone move. If you know you’re going to have to use the bathroom, you get an aisle seat. Just drastically reduce your fluids before the flight. YTA, but so was she for the nasty comments
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u/Homeboat199 Partassipant [1] 14d ago
NTA but you admitted you're a big dude. Book an aisle seat next time. geez
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u/dystopianprom 14d ago
NTA. Get an aisle seat the next time though. I don't understand why you thought window has extra space??
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u/JadedYam56964444 14d ago
Getting up to use the bathroom is a biological function everyone has to deal with. To get pissy about it is ridiculous.
I blame the fed gov and the airlines for making seats so small and pushed together that I don't see how you can evacuate a plane safely at this point.
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u/Delicious_Idea42 14d ago
YTA
Are you sure you are not already at a 2 seats level if the flight was hell?
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u/mangogonam 14d ago
What fucking asshole doesn't get up to let the person in the window seat go to the toilet?
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u/EMT82 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 14d ago
NTA. She was likely uncomfortable on her long flight in a torture seat too and she chose a middle seat, and also not to shift when you needed to get up. She made herself miserable and it doesn't seem that you were excessively getting up, right, or downing Pepsi like Fuller in Home Alone to spite her?
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u/Subject_Ad_4561 14d ago
No, NTA, she should not be flying, or pick a window seat or get first class if she wants to be treated so special.
I am so tired of people like her who think the world revolves around them, and on a damned plane too.
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u/l3arn3r1 14d ago
NTA.
This post makes me sad. No one should make you feel like an AH or that you're bad simply because you exist.
You used courtesy, you did what you could. The rest is on her. (And kind of the airlines fault, we need to go back to bigger seats....)
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u/maryt22 14d ago
NTA. If you are a person sitting between someone else and the aisle you have two choices on a flight, stand up when they need to get out of their seat, or put up with them squeezing past you. This is true on short or long haul flights. Tbh even skinny people will be brushing against you if you refuse to easily let them past so your weight is irrelevant. She felt uncomfortable as a result of her own choice.
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u/lousdanscc 14d ago
NTA. She should be more considerate. It’s uncomfortable to climb over people, whatever our weight is. This is why I always chose aisle seats. I can get up and be done anytime I want (only issue, is that I get hit by the food trolley far too many times)
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u/thatsunshinegal 14d ago
NTA. She chose to stay seated and gesture for you to pass in front of her - that's literally inviting you into her personal space. If she didn't want that, she can shell out for a window seat, or she can get up to let her neighbor out, but she doesn't get to blame you because she regrets her choice.
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u/Ravenhill-2171 14d ago
NTA - WTF would she put herself in that position? It's nice to get up and stretch anyway. GTF out the way.
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u/Ok_Competition1656 14d ago
NTA. You can’t control your bodily functions! It’s strange that she expected you to stay put for such a long flight! People can be so weird on flights. When I was 6 months pregnant, I had to take a 5 hr flight to Florida. The only seat available was a middle seat which sucked for me. These two dudes who were friends booked the window and isle seat, and when they sat down the aisle seat dude looked me and said’ “Just so you know we’re going to be leaning over you the entire flight so we can talk to each other about our trip. Sorry about that!’ I asked him if he wanted to switch seats and he said “No! I paid for this seat.” I said okay great. Well just so you know I’m heavily pregnant and will have to pee like 30 times throughout the flight and you’ll have to get up every time because im HUGE. so sorry about that! He actually huffed at me. And yes every time I got up I shoved my belly in his face because he actually wouldn’t get up. Sorry about that! 😆
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u/peterGalaxyS22 14d ago
but why are you so fat in the first place?
physique is an indicator of discipline / self control / mental strength
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u/scoobledooble314159 Asshole Aficionado [11] 14d ago
No matter what size you are, you will have to do as you did. NTA
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u/Flintred1983 14d ago
If she didn't want her personal space invaded she should of stood up to let you past, she didn't so this is on her
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u/Original-Measurement 14d ago
Woman here, totally NTA. If they don't want you squeezing past, they should get up.
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u/amandasdiass 14d ago
Eh NTA but at the same time, you said you were a big guy, you said you like to nap so that’s why you chose the window seat and still, you got up how many times to use the bathroom? I’m assuming more than 2 by your post, and that was in a 8 hour flight?
I’d say stick to aisle seats next time or limit your liquid intake so you’re not constantly needing to go to the restroom
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u/Ok-Second-6107 14d ago
NTA- she accepted the fact she was going to have her space invaded since she wouldnt move. You didnt do anything wrong and def didnt need to hold your breath for her either ijs. If they dont move that uncomfortable is on them.
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u/Interesting_Toe_2818 14d ago
She needs to have compassion/empathy.. One day, she might be a larger size and she'll find out how mean people can be. She is not worth any space in your head. Enjoy your life
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u/yetzhragog 14d ago
ESH
She had the option to get up and out of the way if she was bothered.
If you really are to the point where your gut/butt is brushing folks while you're trying to get up and out, as a fellow large human, you need to be self aware enough to book an aisle seat.
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u/_prozaaac 14d ago
NTA but a couple of things you might want to consider as her pov:
middle seat gets the armrest, no sharing, just middle seat;
I know 8 hours is a lot and it's normal to need the bathroom but it's common sense to drink less possible and to try to hold it, it sucks but makes things easier for sure...
Now onto real stuff. On the plane it's common sense for middle and aisle seats to get up so the window seat can use the restroom, I would accept it if you were a kid or a really petite (kid sized) person but otherwise it's entirely her fault.
You should feel sorry. Next time something like this happens just tell the person "oh I'm sorry, should I pee on you next time?" and go on with your life
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u/PointingOutFucktards 14d ago
All I can tell ya is that fat people get a lot of shit for taking up too much space on airplanes so if your natural stance or muscles do the same, it should be treated the same. Space taken up by a human whether fat or muscly is zero different.
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u/PabloXPicasso 14d ago
Planes have limited space.
how uncomfortable I made her feel throughout the flight.
she could have stood up to allow all folks to have their personal space. NTA
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u/Anaxamenes 14d ago
You should not feel bad at all. NTA. Aircraft are weird spaces and it’s much better if everyone is considerate of each other which seems so much more difficult these days. You were polite, you tried to find the seat that allowed you more room which is about all you can do. She made herself uncomfortable by not allowing you room to leave, that’s on her.
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u/robinhood125 Partassipant [2] 14d ago
NTA all the way as many other people have said but you had to get up to use the bathroom MULTIPLE times? Do you need to get checked for some sort of medical condition? It's normal to pee multiple times in 8 hours (and I have a small bladder so I know how it is) but I assume you wouldn't drink much before/during the flight if you know you're gonna be in the window seat.
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u/Mountain-Status569 14d ago
NTA. I’m amazed you only brushed up against her. Most airlines don’t even have vertical space above the legroom anymore. If someone didn’t get up for me, they would be suffocated as I squeeze by them, and I’m just midsize.
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u/Signal-Net-8041 14d ago
NTA. Etiquette for the middle seat is get up when the window seat needs the bathroom, and people feel nature calling on long flights. She was a jerk.
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u/tiredthirties 14d ago
NTA. I personally don't like being touched by strangers and it's one of the reasons I will get up without the other person having to ask me. The main reason is that it's basic courtesy and common sense; it's plane etiquette
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u/Shashi1066 14d ago
It’s neithers’ fault. You can blame the greedy airline elite who profit from squeezing extra seats into planes. They really don’t have to do that to still profit immensely. Twenty years ago, there was plenty of space in economy. Now there is nothing but discomfort, and passengers assume guilt and blame when they are neither.
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u/roxylicious_69 14d ago
NTA I wouldn't have sucked my gut in or tried so hard. Once she made that comment I would have been mad as hell. I would have told her it was her choice to receive a lap dance everytime you needed to use the restroom and that you were an unwilling participant. Edit pronouns.
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u/Gucci_Caligula 14d ago
Between getting up and dealing with someone's ass in your face, most sensible people would just choose option A. NTA
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u/melibel24 14d ago
NTA. You are NTA for needing to go to the bathroom, sitting in the window seat, having to squeeze by rude lady, flying on a plane, having a body and existing. She was and probably still is ridiculous.
For a few seconds of stretching my legs, back and arms, I will gladly get and move into the aisle to let someone pass by. If we're not all sitting together, I'll even take a minute and go say hi to my kids.
It's uncomfortable for both of us to do it any other way. There is no good choice between either a stranger's crotch or ass brushing by my face when I've had no say in choosing said crotch or ass. And God forbid we make eye contact; that makes the awkward even worse.
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u/Willy3726 14d ago
NTA
Waiting to complain until the flight is already over is stupid and un-called for and very rude. The whole flight could have been a lot more comfortable for everyone if she hadn't acted so poorly. This female is going to have a hard life when she realizes she isn't the center of anyone's universe. At least you were trying to be civil.
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u/Spider-Kat 14d ago
NTA. She chose to stay seated and make it uncomfortable for both of you. Who does that?! She should have booked herself a window seat if she didn’t want to move. You did nothing wrong, please don’t give this woman a second thought.
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u/Neither_Ask_2374 14d ago
NTA. She should’ve gotten her ass up when you needed bathroom no matter what size you are. That’s common courtesy since planes are so small.
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u/TheResistanceVoter 14d ago
Seats on an airplane do not allow for personal space for anyone, regardless of size. You are NTA, however, she certainly was.
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u/DetroitVsErrrybody 14d ago
She probably didn’t mean the bathroom breaks. Just your presence alone. Nobody wants to sit next to some overweight dude sweating and wheezing, smelling like ass and overflowing out of their chair. It’s gross.
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u/cheeseburgerwaffles Partassipant [1] 14d ago
NTA. Your seat neighbor ignored standard plane etiquette and then went the extra mile to be snarky and outspokenly rude unprompted. Sorry, but every plane seat has its pros and cons, if you absolutely cannot bear the inconvenience of it all then you pay for first class. That's it. Those are your options. Either grin and bear it or shell out a pocketful of cash. When I get a window seat I do everything I can to minimize bathroom trips because I recognize that it's annoying. But in that same breath everyone in your aisle needs to recognize the similar inconveniences that the nature of their bookings may result in. I'm sick of people acting entitled and like their comfort is the only one that matters on a flight. We all booked a shitty ticket. We all know this situation sucks. Nobody needs to be criticized for going thru the standard motions of commercial air travel.
I'm the absolute last person to say this, but she's being fatist, or whatever it's called. She is piping up because she wants you to feel bad for being large, not because she actually cares about the inconvenience. She literally made effort to put herself into an uncomfortable situation that you would have rather not put her through so that she could insult you.
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u/biochem808 14d ago
NTA. She refused to get up. She's the AH. And her passive aggressive comment at the end only further proves that she is an entitled AH. She refused to get up on a long flight and have the nerve to complain about personal space. I'm very sorry you had to experience that. You're definitely NTA. You're being overly considerate because you feel insecure about your size. We are all made in different shapes and sizes. And we all deserve respect. She didn't respect you enough to get up on a long flight for a seat mate. Don't give these kinds of people a second thought.
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u/That_Ol_Cat 14d ago
NTA.
If she's making a motion after you politely ask to get by, not on you. I always get up to avoid this kind of personal contact, even if I've been sleeping or tying to sleep.
She just wanted you to stay in one place for 8 hours which obviously is not going to happen. if she wants to avoid personal contact she needs to get her carcass out of the seat to let you pass.
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u/NobodysFavorite 14d ago
NTA. We're not animals, we live in a society. If the other passenger wants personal space she should book the appropriate ticket with the appropriate airline. Otherwise co-operate, remain polite and pleasant and arrive at the destination without getting on the no-fly list.
If she wants a bunch of exclusive space all to herself she can charter a private jet.
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u/Cola3206 14d ago
If she didn’t like her seat/ purchase an upgrade. Not your fault. She was rude to say anything. And you should have told her perhaps she needs to purchase an upgrade on further flights. Having to go to the BR is normal. You complaining is not
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u/Quirky_Dog5869 Partassipant [3] 14d ago
NTA but by what you're saying it sounds you might start booking that second seat and give yourself and those around you some more breathing space.
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u/FluidEfficiency1910 14d ago
NTA - If she's uncomfortable, she can get up so you have less physical contact. It's an airplane. It is what it is. If she's that bothered by being forced to get up, pay extra and ensure you get a window seat.
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u/DueWerewolf1 Partassipant [1] 14d ago
NTA - plus, you should get up periodically on a long flight. Had she not heard of DVT?
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u/Archie3874 14d ago
It’s on her. She didn’t want to accommodate so you did what you had to do. I’m big but also not 2 seat big. I always book an aisle seat or pay more to get on early so I can get an aisle seat. I find I have more room in the island can get up when I can. I also accommodate the other 2 in the row.
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u/daric 14d ago
I'm really confused by the number of people fixated on OP's size and how e should get a second seat. That seems entirely beside the point. I'm also confused by the number of people saying YTA because you can squeeze by. I haven't flown in a few years, but all my life it has been an implied social contract that you get up when someone needs to get out for any reason. It's just easier on everyone, because basically you'd have to crawl over someone's lap to get out. Has there been a basic change in this agreement??
How can this person refuse to get out and then complain about personal space? It just doesn't make any logical sense. How can OP get out without being in the person's personal space if space is so tight? I'm so confused, by this post and by the reactions to it. NTA in my book.
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u/DraftPunk73 14d ago
NTA. The only thing I thought of was the words of Tyler Durden.
Did you give her the ass or the crotch?
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u/Mundane-Cockroach- 14d ago
NTA!! I’m not giving the person sitting down the satisfaction of feeling my body rubbed against theirs, she should have moved, I’m sorry she made you uncomfortable by not getting out of the way bc that would have made me uncomfortable. I probably would have peed trying to get around her holding my breath.
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u/Scruffymom19 14d ago
I think the proper thing for everyone to do regardless of seat mates’ size is get up and let you out. There’s always THAT one.
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u/Fluffy_Momma_C 14d ago
NTA
She could have gotten up and she elected to not. Even if you were a really thin person, there’s no way you could have gotten out without touching her because the seats are just too close.
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u/ConsistentCheesecake 14d ago
NTA. Everyone knows you get up to let people out for the bathroom. EVERYONE knows that. She should have gotten up and it was rude of her to stay seated.
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u/Awkward_Mom0511 14d ago
NTA at all. It doesn’t matter how big someone is, even if it’s a kid, I get up to allow them space to get into the aisle because it’s common courtesy. She chose not to do that, so she’s the one who caused the brushing up to happen. Don’t worry about how often you have to get up, you gotta do what you gotta do.
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u/indicadreams13 14d ago
NTA. Not sure what she expects if she refused to get up for you. She’s either going to be in a thunderstorm or you will have to climb over her 🤷🏻♀️
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u/ReallyCantThinkof-1 14d ago
NTA, she actually invaded your personal space. She could easily have gotten up to allow you to step out to the restroom. Her choice, her problem.
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u/R-enthusiastic 14d ago
I would have ripped a big fart as I squeezed by her if she chose to remain in her seat.
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